#if you didnt like me why did you make me think we were friends

[135-film]

i literally just lost all my friends & being talked about behind my back like i'm some abuser & stalked, but all i did was leave a server for my mental health. and nobody's even talking to me, to let me defend myself.

i'm literally back in an abuse situation and lost my only safe living place but i'm not allowed to take a mental health break for that, and i deserved to lose all my friends over that i guess. when i have left the server before.

#whimper whimper #if youre one of the people stalking me: please leave me alone. #i thought you were my fucking friend so idk why youre stalking me and talking about me like that #when i left because i am literally dealing with so much IRL i couldnt be around people #and i want my remaining friends to stop being brought into this #you guys talk about how theres a 'reason' why that server failed but there wasnt. #i wasnt even allowed time to explain myself or defend myself or anything #it was an immediate 'AUGGIES EXCLUDING US AND WAS AN ACTUAL FUCKING ABUSER/MANIPULATOR AND A MASSIVE LIAR' #if you didnt like me why did you make me think we were friends

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[bangcakes]

.

#im literally so NDJDJDJJDJDJDNDN #idk how i didnt see this b4......... but like LOL why did i think things could only develop from seeing each other in person #like if we message.... its pretty much the same as like those brief interactions we were havin anyway b4/between/after class #also.... much more doable JJDMDDJD #god i feel so....... !!!!!! fool..... #idk i think i just need to worry about it less....... things will progress still ... ya NDJDJJDJDJDJDJD #idk this is the first time im experiencing this.... so im just ???? clueless #plus like i havent wanted to keep in touch with anyone since high school. so its like. trying to do that while also having like adult #responsibilities is hard djdjdjsjkdjdj #hhhh anyway #proud of myself for coming this far lmao. thought i was broken for awhile bc i like. didnt know that you were supposed to pursue crushes #i thought it was just a fun thing JDJDJJDDJD until one of my friends in 9th grade was like oh so are you gonna make a move ??? #and i was like lol wut #but now i understand. i really do. it only took 29 years LMAO GOD. #personal #wait i should clarify that my friend said that to me while we were in 9th grade JDJDJDJD the way i wrote it sounds weird

[todayisafridaynight]

grabbing rainbow sherbet vodka for the stream because I know it's what ichi would want 🤞

bro grabbing that fucking super mario vodka what the shit 😭

#snap chats #i dont know what im gonna get...... i SHOULD get soju since i can get more for cheaper #and soju's more potent now innit... but i am a sake fan... sake my best friend.. #but i like my sake hot. unless its nigori then OF COURSE you have to have it chilled.... #gddammit i left my shot glass at my moms. i didnt think id need it </3 #maybe sake's the game then..... #just to make sure i dont ACTUALY black out NO DID I TELL THE TIME I BLAKCED OUT FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME #ILL TELL IT AGAIN SINCE ITS TOPICAL IT WAS THE NIGHT OF MY SISTER'S WEDDING #and i went out post-wedding drinking with my dad and my sis and her hubby yeah #and /im/ a master of acting like im fine when im not when i care to and since i never want to look A Fool in front of my father again #i acted fine after i reached the point where I Very Much Was Not Fine #LIKE THERE WERE DRINKS AT THE WEDDING OOFC BUT I ALSO GOT SOME WHISKEY AT A BAR WE WENT TO #AND SO EVENTUALLY MY DAD AND HIS WIFE AND I ALL GO BACK TO THE HOTEL WE'RE ALL STAYING AT #god theyre so embarrassing i was walking (read: wobbling) back to the room i shared with my bro #and theyre just :) 👋 Good Niiiight We're Gonna Watch You Go Until You're Safe :) 👋 <- im literally down the hall from them #and the fucking. SECOND i get into my room im just hhoUUGGHGHHH BROTHER OF MINE. WHAT IS HAPPENING #i dont remember what happened i know i started watching Why Dont You Play In Hell again and then i suddenly woke up in my bed #I WAS ON THE COUCH LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THE ABRUPTNESS OF ME WAKING UP IN BED #I SAT ON THE COUCH TO WATCH THE MOVIE I THINK I GOT 27 MINUTES IN AND I BLINKED AND I INSTATRANSMISSIONED #hilarious. anyway i refuse to let that happen ever again AFLKEFJKAJ #so sake's the call. i think. idk we'll see what my wallet thinks cause the sake is a lil pricier than the soju.. #it a special occasion live a little. is what ill tell myself ☠️

[stupidnaturals]

.

#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me #bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer #and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on ! #unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. ' #and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out #and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like #' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that #but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to??? #and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand?? #also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me ' #or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever #and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance #which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away #like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!! #oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2 #or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too ' #and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs? #or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours #anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie? #so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again! #i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me #and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening???? #anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me

[yongseungkim]

.

#talked to her a little bit more about her confusing behavior #esp her relationship w this one person and how it confuses me when its a more group setting #and lo and behold this solved nothing lol #she was like we are close i dont know how to make u feel that #and i was like i do feel it when we are one on one but when we are in group settings i dont feel close to you at all #wasnt very clear at all with my feelings though but more or less listed off things that she had done that unintentionally had hurt me #or just made things feel kind of confusing #like if we are close then why xyz thing #i feel like i never see her if xyz person doesnt come to me first cuz she'll follow her around right #i did straight up ask her if they were just friends or smth more and if she had feelings for her #and she was like yeah just friends (which idk for me just cuz i asked doesnt mean she has to respond to me honestly) #(so taking it with a grain of salt) #and i was like yeah man ur relationship w this one person cuz u give her so much attention like i never know how to itneract #sometimes if eel guilty for taking her away from u when i talk to her cuz u kinda just shut down #and dotn talk to anyone and she was jokingly like yeah go sit in a corner and i was liek DUDE LITERALLY YEAH? #and then also times when her attention on xyz person has left me feeling left out #and i think its so funny this girl was like i literally didnt know i interact with xyz person in that way cuz i dont think abt it #cuz if i start thinking then i start overthinking and thats nto fun #which is T RUE BUT LIKE ALSO #idk how can one person be that dense like her and xyz person literally won a dynamic duo award thing #ppl were like 'dont separate those two they cant live without each other' LIKE BRUH ARE U SERIOUSLY TAHT DENSE? #and then also the whole shes not a great texter but how shes literally always on the phone texting someone it feels like so for me its hard #to really accept that sometimes like but then she had said earlier like her friends from undergrad just straight up call her so yeah maybe #i guess but also idk man #also times when she had promised to do smth and then didnt follow through on that hurting bc i take ppl by their word

[sacrificialmutt]

oh!

#┈ ✴ ﹙rambling﹚ #guess who got kicked from the groupchat bc ig i just dont make the fucking cut for their elite inner circle!!!! #meeeeee :33 i did :333 #happy april fools day to me! the biggest fucking fool #tonights big loser #not gonna get into details actually bc for once im sad and not mad and i need to take the time to relearn how to process that #ngl! doesnt feel good! #we ball i suppose #actually no i am kinda mad bc tell me why #this friend group thinks theyre so cute for all being so possessive over my bsf when SHES LITERALLY MY BSF ??? #they dont even live in this state like what! youve never met! #and im not possessive at all but it does rub me the wrong way when you try to call urself her bsf or exclude me from talking to her #like know ur place r u fucking serious?? #bestie lets it slide bc ohhh thats just how they are ohhh theyre joking ohhh i think its funny to watch them get jealous #i fucking dont! #its fucking disrespectful #bsf sending me screenshots from the game theyre all playing together #and i had no clue they were playing bc i was kicked from the gc and never received the call! #actually kinda so shady my bsf didnt say anything to me abt jt #like u send me a ss of the game ur playing ofc im gonna wanna play w yall but u didnt even ask #and my bsf who prides herself on the fact that she “tells me everything” didnt even think to #a) tell me i was kicked; b) tell me WHY i was kicked; or c) tell her friends i shouldnt be kicked ?? #like damn yall dont want me around so bad the least u could do is lmk #there was not a SOUND in the gc i was just kicked #liek ok thanks!

[bunnyb34r]

Guess who broke the baler (:

Well technically it wasn't my fault, I just happened to be trying to make a bale when the cylinder exploded and shot bits of cardboard and oil at [relative coworker], my freezer friend, and I.

I almost started crying agsgsgdg not bc I was scared but bc I thought it was my fault, that it was bc I overstuffed the baler bc this would be the second time in a week that nearly/actually broke the baler while trying to make a bale

I didnt take pics but it looked like we killed the baler too 😭 it was bleeding and there was oil everywhere like it was shot

#marquilla #Freezer friend was like 'did you take the chains off? bc i think it was a chain breaking' and we were like shit maybe. then he left and i #thought ab it more and the machine wouldnt know we were making a bale at that stage... to the machine we were still just compacting #and retracting the gate (trying to line up the compressor) and the NEXT step would be moving the chains bc they eject the bale #but we didnt get to that point yet so for all the machine knew it wasnt bale time so the chains wouldnt be affected regardless #thank god for Mr Fixit sggddggd our other friend was like let me see... no it's not the chains why the fuck would it be?? it's the cylinder #and poor Bootleg FGM was the main manager on duty and he looked like 😩 ab having to get a work order which meant that the baler is #unusable for at least today lol but well... this aint the first time the cylinder broke since i started working there so......... #anyway once i was sure it wasnt MY fault i was like oh well my shifts over so good luck with that GAGSGDGDG but the tears were CLOSE man #i was like god i overstuffed it and it couldnt handle it and i was the last to use it ... yeah not my fault just happened to be the one #THERE when it exploded #work talk

[othercrossee]

if youre asking about my writing for palina and irida in the timeskip one, its probably that they will never ever be as close as they were before. or its better to say they were never that close to begin with

#z rambles #idk maybe its just me but i really cannot see these two being chummy besties #which is even more funny when u realize theres a time when people like. legitimate ship them (and we fucking know why) #like its so weird like damn girl u cannot consume media without making mlm ships then make a half assed assessment for a wlw one #should stated that palina isnt a bad person. but she is a bad friend. shes not evil shes just misguided #and i really do blame how both of them are like and then be due to a lot of trauma inflicted by the elder #generational trauma momeeennnnttt #anyways despite their friendship not working out. i do think they actually like. fucking communicate this whole shit out #so in the timeskip despite them not being perfect. theyre doing a lot better and a lot more on equal grounds #what palina did to irida wont be forgotten. irida will feel the sting and palina will have the guilt #its really up to palina own decision to see pass her pettiness and consider her friends emotion as well #and knowing her. it will be pretty fucking hard but heres the surprise #both of them didnt have support systems when they were young. and tbh i do get where palina is coming from #but it still sucks how she choose to manifest her anger toward the person who admired and loved her #who really thought palina had her best interest at heart and with no explanation. no communication #that fiend just got up. yelled at you. left and refuse to elaborate to the point of scolding and humiliating you time and time again #and sure irida shouldve respect the whole dont call me lina bs but even then? its still rather selfish of her to not see iridas effort #call them bestfriends all u want. idk why yall mfs somehow could read their relationship as a fruitful one #cuz its bad. even in the timeskip irida had to go thru loops to talk to palina cuz palina still doubt her ability #it will never be good enough for her. it will never be good enough of a relationship so uhhhh hope this helps! #and yeah i dont usually shame people but if u ship these two. yeah im gonna need u to replay the game LMAO

[snekdood]

whats really unfortunate is im p sure my sister was the catalyst for why people in my town like to just gossip and make shit up about me without asking. like it started with her talking to my middle school bully about me behind my back, probably telling her all kinds of bullshit bc my sisters a compulsive liar, then that bully followed me to highschool for a brief moment before leaving, spreading all the bullshit that started at my old school to my new one before dipping. and then people started making shit up about me at highschool. i was so excited to finally get a fresh start in highschool only for that bitter cunt to come along and sour shit for no fucking reason bc idk she has a weird hate boner for me, who can say (maybe it was some bullshit my sister said 🙃 i wonder!). and since my high school was way bigger and she had a wider range of people, word just spread through the grapevine of whatever dumb shitppl were coming up with mixed with actual events that happened that painted me in an embarrassing light or whatever. and im like. kinda sure that the only reason my ex decided to turn on me so hard, shaming me in every capacity down to just who i am inherently was bc alllll of those stupid rumors came to them after we broke up. like. yall just wont let me escape this NOR EVEN GIVE ME THE FUCKING CHANCE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT IN ANY CAPACITY. why in the FUCK are you SO FUCKING INVESTED IN TRYING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE?? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE??? LEAVE ME THE FRESH FUCK ALONE!!! IF YOU’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME AFTER HIGHSCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WE WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL WITH YOU LITERALLY HAVENT MATURED FOR SHIT AND I FEEL BAD FOR YOU ABOUT THAT. LIKE HOLY FUCK. yall are dense self absorbed pieces of shits who think you’re so above whoever you decide to throw under the bus but you’re literally the same staple mediocre mean girl from every other fucking school anyone has ever fucking seen. if you’re not even going to give me a list of my sins. if none of you assholes are even going to approach me to ASK ME DIRECTLY IF WHAT SOMETHING SOMEONE SAID WAS TRUE. INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME TO SECRETLY GET INFO AND HOPEFULLY GET INFO ABOUT THAT OUT OF ME. IF YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO WELCOME ME INTO THE GOSSIP CIRCLE SO I CAN TELL ALL OF YOU **AT THE VERY LEAST** MY PERSPECTIVE, OH, LETS FORGET BELIEVING VICTIMS WHEN IT COMES TO ME, REMEMBER, IM PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING MY FAMILY OR ANYONE WHOS ABUSED ME HAS EVER DONE RIGHT LOL 🤪 KILL YOURSELF. You literally dont deserve anything you could ever benefit from being my friend. i hope all of you selfish drama-vampires, who apparently cant survive without gossiping like its fucking air, rot

#anyways yall remind me of a catholic cult #anyways idc what happens to anyone in my old town either #yall basically exiled me so now i just kinda dont give a single fuck or shit what happens to any of you c: ! #hows it feel bitch? #dont think imma do anything for any of yall if you ever need me to. dont think ill be there. lord knows none of you were. #lord knows none of you cared #what. whats your justification for treating me this way? #tell me in detail. exactly. why? #because i grew up rich? well so did my sister and brother and yall had no issues with them #because i was blonde or something? because i was confident? because i didnt know how to socialize in an Un Weird Way? #because i liked playing pretend? because i liked drawing? because i watched tv shows and liked making ocs and drawing tv show characters #fucking or whatever? #is this really my greatest sins? #bc like before highschool? yall dont really have shit to hang on for why you treated me the way you did. like AT ALL. #granted bc of ptsd i cant remember much of my childhood anyways but i knew i didnt hate anyone ever #otherwise why would i keep letting my middle school bully in to interact with me and hoping we could mend things and become friends? #only for her each time to lie and go make fun of me with other people in the class? #and when it came to highschool. the worst thing about me was that i thought it was ok for me to say slurs it 100% wasnt ok for me to say #bc i was under the impression that 'the world was peaceful now and these thingsd didnt have impact and ppl could start saying whatever and #it wouldnt hurt people anymore and the world is healing and its just a word now and my brothers friends seem ok when he does it so?' #yeah ik ik i was optimistic. maybe my middle school couldve done a better job at emphasizing that *those were still issues people faced #and that the world isnt healed and perfect and that it doesnt always get better' bc one of my teachers 100% directed me to the- #it gets better website #regardless. that along with group roasting sessions essentially with my brother and his friends where we made fun of the way we all looked #kinda made me think saying some things were okay that weren't. not an excuse but i wasnt a fucking bigot and ill die on that hill :)! #and sure i got into new age conspiracy theories but *i* didn #'t know it was anti semitici in nature. ive mentioned before that any websited i read never mentioned jewish people EVER #i just liked the idea of aliens being real as it was an idea i never let myself explore before. i was more into demons initially sdhdhgs. #aliens and the new version of spirituality which essentially promised me everything as long as i believe strong enough lol #regardless- im pretty sure other ppl at the time didnt know it was bad either. or if they did. then they should take issue with my ex nick

[yarrowleef-babbles]

mistborn's magic is cool but im starting to wonder if i can no longer enjoy stories about political revolutionary groups that are very very clearly written by em....people who are probably not very revolutionary irl. to make a long grouchy ramble short.

ive liked plenty of books by non radical authors, but the fact this one is *about* a needed revolution makes those moments particularly distracting. sometimes it makes the characters feel disingenuous.

anyway i absolutely loathe elend venture as a person and a character and a concept just. so so much. every time he talks i want to strangle him

abolish your house and relinquish your wealth or shut the fuck up forever challenge

#i feel like there was a time i didnt care that much about this i could just focus on the fiction literally and take it as is #but in recent years i have lost a lot of patience for this sort of thing specifically... #'yeah well not ALL nobility 🙄🙄🙄 did you ever think about THAT galaxy brained thought?? some of us are polite' #god. god. i cannot believe this little useless twit who spent his whole life being complacent like every other noble #who was not even willing to ENTERTAIN the idea of having to give up ANY of his power post revolution #who walked up to the rebels and was like 'you ruffians will simply eat each other alive without our guidance' #WAS JUST. MADE KING. #AND EVERYONE JUST. AGREED TO THAT??? #yeah sure he has only ever fantasized quietly about revolutionary sentiments #and didnt actually do anything until other people came in and did the the revolution FOR HIM so he could just stepped in and be like #oh well you see i had a boys club night and read some books so let me tell you the right way to do this revolution #that conveniently includes not rly taking anything away from me or the other rampant rapist slave owners!!!! #hey guys. pals. buds. feeling bad about something while continuing to benefit from and uphold it doesnt make you a good person actually #ITS LIP SERVICE. WORTHLESS. POSTURING. HE WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE ANYTHING USEFUL IF THE REVOLUTION HADNT FORCED HIM TO MOVE OR DIE #you know i actually dont think we should be friends with complicit rapist slave owners. why should the nobles keep anything?? #ONE THIRD IS A LOT. IT IS A LOT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT AND BE COMPLICIT IN #the lord ruler did not make nobles rape their slaves!! he didnt oversee any of their daily atrocities!! he in fact ignored a lot of things! #that was aalllll their personal choice. 1/3 are regular rapists 3/3 dont believe skaa are people. even their pity is like pity for animals. #ELOND ONLY JUST DISCOVERED THAT SKAA WERE IN FACT PEOPLE (MAYBE) A WEEK AGO #i hate this bitch so fucking much im going to assassinate him myself #actually i think the skaa should have beheaded literally everyone in the palace <3 #and i could not care less if elend found it distasteful <3 die <3 #'well you see he gave just SUCH a good speech about keeping the peace and being nonviolent above all else' #'that the rebels instantly dropped their weapons and realized what a brilliant intellectual he was #and fell in love with him on the spot' #shut up shut the entire fuck up that is the most Insufferable Spineless Liberal bs thing i've ever heard #yeah his version of *hypothetical* peaceful revolution was doing really well for the skaa #his plan was to take up his house with all the murdered bodies it was built on and try to gently sway everyone to be Nicer Slave Owners #sorry. sorry this framing really didnt age well. idk if im going to be able to read the rest of the trilogy i am so annoyed #i might but im taking a break

[feline-insolitum]

i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go

LOOK AT HIM!!!

most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing

you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him

but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it

you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.

and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!

i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.

maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place

i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.

that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him

this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.

after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.

this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?

and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown

i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written

#ERROR 501 #pokemon #pokemon sv dlc #pkmn #pkmn sv dlc #indigo disk #pokemon indigo disk #kieran #kieran pokemon #kieran pkmn #rival kieran #trainer kieran #champion kieran

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: fwb!mingyu, pussydrunk!mingyu, horny!mingyu (he's just horny as shit guys), smut, f reader, penetrative sex, based off the picture above ofc, etc.

wc: 985

masterlist

you had known mingyu for a few months now. you'd originally met at some frat party that your friend vernon had invited you to. you attended with no specific purpose in mind. you thought maybe you'd mingle a bit, have some drinks with some friends, and then dip. however, your plans were promptly ruined by the six-foot tall boy with the pretty smile who kept eyeing you all night as he leaned against the wall, nursing a drink while making eyes at you.

that was the first night you ended up in mingyu's bed. at a first glance you imagined he'd be good at sex. you'd been right. somewhat. he was insane. not only did he have an insane libido, but he was insatiable for you. he managed to pull orgasm after orgasm out of you. what surprised you most, however, was how he never ran out of orgasms to give you in return. you'd heard of guys with short refractory periods, but mingyu was an anomaly. that night, he had kept you up for hours, causing you to arrive late to next morning's lecture (not that you were complaining).

the second time you met mingyu was quickly after, as you'd bumped into him at a football game two days after. it was almost comical. the way in which you met eyes and knew exactly what the other was thinking. without needing to exchange any words, you ended up back at mingyu's dorm, with your legs thrown over his shoulders as he viciously fucked you into the bed, muttering words such as "you're all mine. pussy's all for me, isn't it baby?", or "pretty fuckin' thing with an even prettier pussy, fuck. n so fuckin' soft too," or your favorite, "shit. best pussy ive ever had. gunna keep it for myself. that okay, baby? gunna give it to me, arent you, pretty?"

the man not only knew how to fuck, but he knew how to make you swoon. you needed no convincing to keep ending up in mingyu's bed day after day. unfortunately for the both of you, you were nothing more than a measly college student; a slave to the deadlines your professors imposed on you. even if you wanted to spend every minute of every living moment in mingyu's bed, you had common sense. which meant you had to prioritize your education.

you and mingyu had fucked consistently for about a month. that is, until midterm season arrived. like any reasonable person, this was time for you to hibernate in your room and cram, all while ignoring any outside distractions. your family, friends, any medical emergencies, and even mingyu's dick would have to wait for this stressful time in your life to end.

you assumed that this wouldve been the case for mingyu too, knowing he was in some of the same courses as you. which is why his most recent message threw you off guard, making you laugh at the absurdity.

from: mingu 🤤:

i'm legit gonna kill myself if we dont fuck again

you'd only been depraving mingyu of sex for a little over a week. was he that insatiable? okay, you had to admit, that was a huge ego boost (and a bit of a turn on). you were now faced with two choices. be a responsible adult and put your education first, or get your hole fucked and stuffed by the big hunk who was threatening lethal action against himself if he didnt feel your warmth around him as soon as humanly possible.

you didnt have to be asked twice.

giggling to yourself, you picked up your phone and angled it upwards, pulling down your shirt enough to display your bare tits and captured a quick picture, typing him a quick message to rile him up a little more.

from you:

want this ? ;)

*picture attachment*

after hitting send, you sat back down for a bit, uselessly putting your phone down as you heard a chime in response almost immediately.

from mingu 🤤:

fuck you

i'll be there in ten

giddy, you readied yourself a bit for his arrival, knowing his dorm rooms were not too far away from yours.

only eight minutes later and you were answering the door to a very frustrated mingyu, barging into your room and immediately pushing you up against the door, taking advantage of your gasp to shove his tongue in your mouth.

"you think you're funny, dont you, baby?", he rasped, "gonna fuck the funny out of you."

he quickly undressed you and carried you over to your couch, taking his own clothes off in the process. he bent you over and put you on your hands and knees, slapping your ass once before entering you without warning.

"fuck," he breathed out in relief, "how could you keep this pretty pussy away from me for so long, baby? wanted me to chase after you? i'll fucking do it," he fucked you harder with every word he uttered.

"g-gyu."

"i'll fuckin' move in to your dorm if that means i can have this pretty fuckin' pussy wrapped around me every night, shit," his words were getting to you, causing you to wrap tighter around him.

"g-gunna give it to you every day, pretty. will you let me do that? huh? stuff this pretty pussy every day. so pretty n warm for me ..."

you both reached your completion soon after, spending yourselves out after one round for the first time since knowing each other.

"baby ... never fucking pull that shit again, i swear to god. next time you ghost me like that, i'm breaking down the door, do you understand?", his words were lighthearted in nature, but the concept of mingyu being so pussydrunk he needed to have you day after day excited you beyond belief.

"yes, sir," you purred, preparing yourself for an afternoon of zero studying.

n/a: not proofread <//3

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen #svt fanfic #seventeen smut #svt #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #mingyu smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagine #mingyu oneshot #mingyu fanfic