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plinkcat-gif · 2 years

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hiii hello this actually got mega personal so i’m making it non-rebloggable but comments r still welcomed shdjksjsd

ummmm kakashi is super fucking autistic in this. like kinda ooc but that’s the personal part seeping into it, and the part i can’t really get out shdjksjdjf. but it has a happy ending!!

He doesn’t sit next to them on the couch when they’re at Minato and Kushina’s for dinner. The warm scent of spice floats through the space, and it’s easy enough to convince himself it’s because he’ll be getting up for food in a few minutes, so why would he bother moving for such a short amount of time?

Even if it’s already been over half an hour.

He digs his nails into his calf and pretends he doesn’t care as he watches Obito snuggle closer to Rin, almost as if they’re trying to become one. It’s a funny sight, and Rin’s laughing and wrapping her arms tighter around him, and he should be laughing too, but he can’t even crack a smile. He might cry if he does.

 They wouldn’t be able to tell through the mask anyway.

It’s gotten easy to explain away over the years. It was startlingly easy at first, how easily it rolled off his tongue, explained away by something about not liking touch. And his teammates respected his space, of course, so they backed off. Plus, he was awkward around touch from the start, so it could easily be read as him disliking touch. And he thought he did, for a while.

But every time he found himself in a situation like this, he longed for it. Deep in his bones, he wanted to be in the middle of their cuddle pile, arms wrapped around the two of them, included.

He probably never would be, now.

.:.

While he wasn’t necessarily quiet as a kid, he certainly wasn’t talkative. Not like Obito was. He spoke out to correct and to answer, never to just talk. So that was easy to write off as him being quiet.

Obito and Rin didn’t mind, of course. They respected him, and they never intentionally excluded him.

He did that to himself.

“Well what about that shirt?” Obito asked, pointing to a simple purple t-shirt with an ink print of flowers on the front.

“That’s cute,” Rin mused, and Kakashi remembered at the same time a similar shirt Kushina had. She’d accidentally torn it when she’d been trying to stretch it to fit around her growing belly, and they’d all had a laugh about it. She’d repaired it easily enough, but it was still a fond memory for them all, and the first time her pregnancy had really been…acknowledged. In a way that mattered, at least. Rin hadn’t stopped talking about gifts for the baby, things they might need to buy, and Obito had suggested helping them pay with stuff. Kakashi reminded him that Minato was the Hokage, so he could pretty much buy whatever he wanted, and that shut him up fast enough that Rin had burst out laughing, sending the rest of them into a fit as well.

They had settled on decorating a few onesies for the baby, each with their own touch: Rin with color, Kakashi with the practicality (it needed gloves for if it got cold), and Obito with the paint and accessories. They had come out nice, and it was a great bonding experience for the three of them.

But this wasn’t about Kushina or the baby or anything like that. So he kept his mouth shut, and watched as Obito lit up with joy when Rin decided to buy it.

.:.

He didn’t mean to start drifting. Maybe he wasn’t, or it didn’t seem like he was on their end, but he certainly felt that he was on his. He declined their invitations to go out; he would only be in the way. He stopped coming to dinner, claiming he’d bought food after a mission and needed to clear it out of his fridge, so he’d eat that instead.

Every time he tried to reintegrate himself, he felt out of place. Wrong. In the way.

He didn’t belong with them, not anymore. He had to move on to something else, somewhere else.

Or, so he thought.

He never expected Rin and Obito to be at his door. They looked concerned. He wasn’t sure why.

He invited them in for dinner, of course, fish from the river just as they had their first night over. Neither of them touched their food until Kakashi sat down.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly when he noticed, brow furrowed. “Is it bad? Overcooked?”

“No, we just…” Rin bit her lip, considering, then sighed. “We didn’t want the conversation to get derailed. Are you okay, Kakashi?”

Kakashi blinked. Well, that was a way to put it. “I…yes? I’m fine, is something wrong that I don’t know about?”

Rin tilted her head. “You haven’t been coming to anything anymore. We miss you. Are you sick or something? I mean, you can tell us anything, you know.”

And suddenly, the veil he tried to pull lifted and the topic this was really about sat heavy like lead in his stomach. It prickled uncomfortably and he swallowed.

Like hell he was going to tell them he wanted to be cuddled. That was a good way to get himself laughed at. Even teasingly, he wasn’t sure he could handle it.

He couldn’t tell them he wanted to be included in conversations, because they’d claim he was, or that he should “just talk!” As if it were that easy. As if the thought of it didn’t make his queasy where he sat.

He couldn’t tell them he wanted to be included, because he did this to himself. This was his fault.

“Kakashi,” Obito murmured, obviously picking up on his discomfort. “Is it something to do with us? Have we not been good friends somehow?”

“What? No!” Kakashi exclaimed, but it sounded fake to his own ears. He cringed at the same time they did, and he felt his heart drop. Great. He’d just lost two of his best friends, and now Gai was going to be his only solace, and he wasn’t sure he could handle that.

Recover. “I mean, no, it’s just—It’s all my fault, you guys didn’t do anything wrong, I promise!” He waved his hands in front of him, as if that would somehow stop them from leaving. “I just—I lied, about a lot of stuff. That I don’t really want to say. Because it’s personal. But it’s not your fault, really.”

He expected them to give him a sad look and leave—that’s what normally happened, right?

He did not expect Obito to be looking angrily at him. “What the hell, Kakashi? Are you some sort of spy? Are you—are you info-gathering on us?”

Rin looked perturbed as well, and suddenly what Kakashi was asking for seemed a lot smaller in comparison to what could be. More manageable.

“No, I’m not a spy,” he deadpanned, glaring at Obito. “I just—“ He swallowed hard, locking his fingers together under the table in an iron grip. “I—“

Manageable no more. He was admitting to vulnerability, the deepest chasm of self-doubt before him. Obito and Rin were on the other side, but there was no possible way he could cross—they were just specks.

“Kakashi,” Rin encouraged gently, but he couldn’t meet her eye. He couldn’t even look at her hand that was stretched across the table, seeking to support.

Well. He had nothing to lose, because he’d lose his friends no matter what he did. Into the chasm he went.

“Ijustwannabeincluded,” he muttered quickly, ears ringing in the following silence. What would they say? Would they laugh at him?

It didn’t matter. He was going to lose his friends somehow, so if they laughed it didn’t matter. Because they weren’t his friends anymore.

“You want to be…included?” Rin repeated quietly, unsure. Kakashi gave a jerky nod.

The silence seemed infinite. A million different scenarios ran through his head, and there was no way he was coming out of this not crying. He could feel the tears welling up now.

“Okay,” Rin said simply. Kakashi didn’t move. Hesitantly, she asked, “Do you want to be comforted now, or do you need some space?”

Kakashi simply untwined his hands and pointed at the door. Their chairs scraped the floor as they stood, and they walked to the door.

As the door swung open, Obito asked, “Will you be at Minato and Kushina’s later? Or tomorrow?”

He nodded once, and the two left. When their signatures could no longer be sensed, Kakashi broke.

It had gone exactly as he wished it would. He hadn’t lost his friends, they’d been understanding, so why was he still crying about it?

Something about missed opportunities and regrets flickered through his mind and he wheezed out a sob, hugging himself tightly and sunk to the floor, leaning against the table’s leg.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, but it was dark enough out that he knew he should go to Minato and Kushina’s tomorrow. Not that he’d want to go, as red-faced and puffy-eyed as he undoubtedly looked now.

He took his blankets out to the couch that night, and cried some more.

.:.

The next day was…different. He approached the Uzumaki household nervously, hugging himself loosely, and tried to ignore the doubtful thoughts.

What if he’d hallucinated or dreamt last night? What if Obito and Rin were lying, at his expense somehow? (He deserved it, if they were.)

So went their normal routine, and he was sure that nothing was going to change, or everything was going to change. At first it was unbearable, the thought that Minato or Kushina might bring up the fact he hadn’t been around, but it never came up. It was the same as always.

Obito and Rin stayed on their side of the couch, and Kakashi focused on the paintings on the wall so he wouldn’t have to think about their conversation last night, or form any expectations of it. Maybe they needed to take it slowly, too. They’d been patient with him, they deserved the same amount tenfold from him. He could be patient.

Not five minutes after he’d sat down, Obito’s foot landed in his lap. The boy made brief eye contact with him, asking wordlessly, and Kakashi nodded ever so slightly to permit. Then Obito went back to letting Rin run her fingers through his hair, and the house resumed its chatter like it always had before.

Obito’s foot never left his lap. He had to be getting uncomfortable. He was, actually, based on the slight squirm in his hips that he always did when he had to stay in a position on watch for too long.

“You can move,” Kakashi mumbled, jostling Obito’s foot to get his attention. “I don’t mind.”

Obito moved his other foot from the floor to also lay in Kakashi’s lap, but it obviously wasn’t enough.

“Seriously, Obito. It’s fine.”

“Mm, but I want to curl up and it’s really hard to do that and touch you at the same time,” Obito bemoaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “But I don’t wanna push you out of your comforts zone, either.”

Kakashi considered this. But, “I’ll never get better if I’m not pushed out of my comfort zone.”

Plus, he wanted it. To be a part of it.

Rin didn’t waste a second at the given opportunity, practically throwing Obito’s head off of her lap to leap across the couch and wrap her arms around Kakashi’s waist. She rested her head in her lap, then asked, “Is this okay?”

“It’s…fine,” Kakashi gritted out, because it wasn’t, but he wanted it to be.

“No fair!” Obito exclaimed, pinching Rin’s calf. “You’re so mean. You don’t even care about me.”

“True,” Rin agreed, unmoving from her spot. Obito sighed and took a seat at Kakashi’s feet instead, leaning his head into his knee. “This is fine too, right?”

“Manageable,” Kakashi said honestly, hesitantly resting a hand on Rin’s head. She nuzzled into it, smiling. “This is nice,” she said softly.

Kakashi and Obito hummed their agreement, and at some point, the other two dozed. Kakashi stayed uncomfortably awake, but at some point the hand in Rin’s hair became less robotic and stiff and more natural, which was definitely improvement.

This was improvement. This was good.

#kirpy writes #it’s also 2:30 at the time of finishing and i started at prob 1:30 so liek. emotions def got in there LMFAO #ok that’s all byeee thanks for reading if u did

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outsideratheart · 9 months

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Helium (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This is chapter 6 of The Legacy Series.

You laid on your sofa debating whether or not to call Alexia. This seemed to be happening a lot recently but given that you had been out for breakfast together you wasn’t sure if she would want to see you again.

Things had been going really well between the two of you, both on and off the pitch. On the pitch you had officially found your groove having scored 11 goals in the last 7 games. Off the pitch you find yourself in an unfamiliar state of happiness. Days off were never spent alone and you no longer made table reservations for one as Alexia joined you in your goal of eating at every restaurant and drinking at every coffee shop in Barcelona.

Your thumb hovers over Alexia’s contact before hitting the call button. It rings 4 times before you get her voicemail. You see this as a sign that you should get an early night so you do just that. Besides, you have training in the morning so you only have to wait a few more hours until you can see her again.

Only the next morning you arrive at Joan Camper and a certain midfielder is missing.

“Oh Y/N” Mapi grabs your hand pulling you towards her table in the canteen “You know why Alexia is late don’t you? The two of you are always together so she will have told you something”

You could think of many words to describe Alexia but late is not one of them, especially not when it came to training. This was reason enough for concern but you didn’t want to worry the rest of the team so you chose to lie.

“She had a photoshoot this morning but don’t worry she’ll be here in time for us to destroy her at the fitness test” you hoped your joke would help cover the lie and to your relief it was.

Alexia did turn up to the facility albeit it 2 1/2 hours after training had started. The rest of the team didn’t think twice about it given you told them she was going to be late but you on the other hand wanted to know why she was late.

The two of you partner up for the next drill and it gives you the opportunity to question her away from the other girls.

“Is everything ok?” You ask her.

“Thank you for covering for me this morning. It won’t happen again” she dodges the question and you recognise the avoidance technique all to well.

“Ale” you grab her hand and pull her to the side of the pitch.

“What are you doing? We are in the middle of training” Alexia looks around and sees that you have caught the attention of a few staff members.

“And we will go back to that in a minute. Talk to me? Has something happened?”

“I’m fine. I overslept”

“That’s a lie” you call her out without hesitation.

“It is” Alexia mumbles as runs back onto the pitch where the rest of the team are waiting for you.

For the rest of the session it felt like Alexia was avoiding you and only you. Every so often you would catch her eye, she would hold the gaze for a couple of seconds, flash a quick smile and then turn away. At least you knew she wasn’t ignoring you.

Alexia’s behaviour continued for the next couple of days and every time you asked her about it she found a way to change the subject. You started to worry but after talking to Mapi & Jenni you learnt that sometimes Alexia does this. She goes quiet and pulls away but it doesn’t last longer than a week.

“Alexia please wha—“

You don’t get the chance to ask her what is wrong yet again because you are interrupted although this time it isn’t by the Spaniard it is by Lieke.

“Y/N your mum keeps calling me because you won’t take her calls. Care to explain?”

This gets Alexia’s attention. Over the time she has known you she has learnt that you are very close with you mum so that fact you are ignoring her calls is a concern.

“It’s fine. I’ll handle it” you try to keep your response as short as possible.

“Is it about the thing?” Lieke speaks in code given that you are not alone.

“She just wants to check in and make sure I’m behaving here in Barcelona. You know how she gets” you joke.

“You’re lying” Alexia know you well enough to know when you aren’t telling the truth.

You found it ironic. Here Alexia stands calling you a liar when she has been lying about what’s been going on with her for the last week.

“It’s what we do, no?” You want to get a reaction out of her. You want her to admit she that has been keeping something from you but she doesn’t. Instead she mumbles something incoherent before walking away.

“She wasn’t calling to check up on you Y/N. She wants to go if you plan on going back to Amsterdam for the event” Lieke didn’t speak up when Alexia was around but she did want to talk to you about it now.

“I’m not going. I’ve told her this multiple times but she keeps pushing. I’ll tell her to stop calling you”

“I’d go with you. I know its been a few years but I had fun when you took me to the last one”

“I’m not going Lieke and you know why”

You went home that night in a much worse mood than you wanted to. Something was wrong with Alexia and you just wanted to help her but she was determined to shut you out. Then there was your mother who took the word persistent to a whole new level.

The team had the next 4 days off, now normally you would have made plans with Alexia but you hadn’t had the chance so you try to call her to see if she was up for doing something only her phone goes straight to voicemail. One ring and she declined the call, it stung.

The next morning you text her to tell her you’re free if she wanted to do something. By doing this the ball was in her court, all you could do is wait and hope that she replies. Hours pass by before you admit that Alexia isn’t going to call but you’re not willing to waste the day at home so you decide to go to the training ground. You had a lot on mind over the past couple of days but your mind was calm whenever you were on the pitch.

You’re not sure how much time has passed but you know it must have been a few hours because the groundsman turns the flood lights on. When you arrived he told you that you could stay as long as you want, the man was a saint and often helped you sneak into the grounds when you weren’t suppose to be there.

Out the corner of your eyes you see two people and you can tell they are female by their silhouettes. You are in two minds as what to do; go to them and possibly get in trouble or pretend you didn’t see them and hope they go away. When you see them walking over you prepare for the worse but as they get close you recognise them.

“Y/N” Eli says as she gets closer.

The sight of the two Putellas women causes a pit to form in your gut. Alba stands quietly to the side of her, her eyes red from recent tears.

“Hi. Is everything ok?” You ask fearful of an honest answer.

“Have you seen Alexia? We have been trying to get in touch with her all day. She always comes here when she needs an escape”

Why would Alexia need an escape? Could this have something to do with her recent behaviour?

“I haven’t. I tried calling her last night and texted her this morning to see if she wanted to something today but she didn’t answer. Eli, is Alexia ok?”

“We don’t know” this is first time Alba looks directly at you and the heartbroken expression is enough for you to reach out for her.

“Are you ok Alba?” Your hand rests on her shoulder in hopes it would bring some kind of comfort. You hadn’t spoken to her since that day at the stadium but she was Alexia’s sister which means you cared for her.

“I need to find my sister. Will you help?”

“Of course. How about you go back to her apartment to see if she has come home and I will see if I can find her, I can think of a few places”

“Gracias Y/N” Eli says.

This sounded a lot worse that you original feared. At first you thought you had done something to Alexia or that she wanted space like you did a couple of months ago. Now you knew this wasn’t the case and it in fact had nothing to do with you.

As you drove home your eyes scanned the streets hoping and praying by some miracle that you find her but it was wishful thinking. You enter the code to the gate and what you are met with isn’t something you expected. Alexia is sat on your door step, her knees tucked into her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so small.

“Alexia, what are you doing here? You mother and sister are worried about you” you scold her but instantly regret it when she looks up and you see her face. Tears were falling down her face and given the puffiness of her eyes they had been for quite a while.

“Come here” you hold your hands out and pull alexia into your arms. Her body shakes as she seemingly lets go of the emotions that she has been bottling up for god knows how long. “I’ve got you”

In order to open the front door you have to let her go but you keep a hold of her hand. Once inside Alexia is back in your arms. You care deeply for this woman but only in this moment did you realise just how much. Seeing Alexia this broken breaks your heart.

“I’m sorry” Alexia pulls away and tries to wipe away her tears only for you to stop her. She didn’t need to hide her pain, not around you.

“There’s nothing to apologise for Ale. Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just want to know what I can do to help”

“You’re already doing it” the smile that appears on her face is weak but nevertheless it is a smile.

With her hand in yours you lead her to the sofa and wait for to be ready to talk about whatever it is that has her so upset.

“It’s the 10th anniversary of my dad’s death”

“Oh Alexia” you rubbed her thigh soothingly.

“I didn’t want to come to you because I knew that it would bring up feelings for you too, how could it not. I know I’ve been cold towards you but I knew you’d recognise my pain and I wanted to try and get through the week. I just wanted to be alone, I always do”

It’s moment like this that you realise just how similar you and Alexia are. You both had the same coping mechanisms for your grief, as unhealthy as they might be.

“Yet here you are, with me, in my house, after sitting on my doorstep waiting for me to get home”

Alexia cannot help but laugh. Her actions and her thoughts did not align in the slightest. Deep down she knew why she came to you, today but she wasn’t ready to admit what it meant.

“I just needed to escape”

It’s as if a light bulb goes off and you cannot believe what you are about to suggest.

“How much of an escape?” You ask her.

“This city is too much right now so I’ll go anywhere, why? What do you have in mind?”

“Something I hope not to regret”

You could feel Alexia’s breath on your shoulder as she watches you open your contacts on your phone. She doesn’t see who it is you call but the opening sentence of what you say next gives her the answer.

“Hallo mama. Ja ik kom. Ik heb twee kaartjes nodig.”

The call is short and sweet for two reasons. One, you wanted to give Alexia your full attention and two, you didn’t want to answer you mother’s endless amount of questions.

“C’mon, I’ll help you pack”

“Y/N wait” Alexia runs after you as you make your way to the front door “Where are we going?”

This is why Alexia came to you. You knew what to do to help her when she didn’t know what to do herself.

“I’m taking you home”

“No, I’m not ready for that yet” Alexia’s grabs your hand and pulls you back into the house.

“Not your home Alexia, mine. You showed me Barcelona through your eyes and now you get to see Amsterdam through mine”

This time Alexia’s smile is wide. You were taking her to Amsterdam, the place that you told her so many stories about.

Only 24 hours ago you were adamant that you wouldn’t be attending the annual Johan Cruyff foundation gala yet here you are on your way to Alexia’s apartment so you can help her pack. You may not want to go but you knew this is exactly what Alexia needed.

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas one shot #woso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni one shot #barcelona femeni imagine #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #espwnt one shot

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