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idk-my-aesthetic · 5 years

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Trapped- lena fic

When Lena was, well not small, as she’d been in a non-aging body most of her existence, but rather new, Magica had cared for her.

Magica had acted like a real guardian, comforting Lena after failed attempts to escape the shadow realm, and telling her stories of Magica’s own adventures.

Magica had even said she wanted them to get a home once they were free, and to be a family. Lena had believed her.

But misinformed people do seem to think the cat toying with its meal is cute, don't they?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I don’t understand.” The nameless shadow said, but she had no voice, and no mouth to speak with. It was like she had thought so loud anyone could have heard her. Perhaps everyone did.

The figure’s, her creator’s, beak twisted, into a smile that she will learn is too bright, too sweet, too kind, and hid things she will wish she had run from right in this moment.

But now she was small and innocent, only in control of her thoughts for mere minutes, and believed it when the figure said:

“I’m your Aunt Magica, dear. And you and me are going to do great things together.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=

hey!! this is a wip fic im eventually gonna put on ao3 but i want it all to be one chap so ig were putting the first one here lol. sry if the formatting is bad i rarly post fics to tumblr and i think it got rid of all my bold and italics :( (i put back what i could tho) anyway please please read kjdsklakldfj

TW for child abuse!!!!

She gained consciousness all at once, overwhelmed by everything surrounding her. All of a sudden she could hear, and see, and feel, and it was awful. She wanted to cry, to scream.

It was the first time she had ever wanted anything.

She had never existed before, never been anything more than a shadow. It felt wrong, like nature itself was rejecting her creation.

And it hurt. Everything was too bright, too loud, too much. She felt like her body was on fire, pain smothering her from everywhere. Her body was melting, she realized, tearing her gaze from the near frozen battle before her to her own figure. Her form was dissolving, dripping from a vaguely duckling like shape to an amorphous blob, the glow of magic thrumming in her center.

She looked back to the fight, the birds moving as if swimming in jello, everything slowed. She watched as a figure was sucked towards a coin, anger written on the figure’s face. Something inside her pinged, and she knew. That was her creator.

She felt some obligation to help, but when she tried to she found she couldn't move, not even twitch the blurry mess of shadows that made up her fingers. What could she have done anyway? She may be sentient, but she was still a shadow, and a deteriorating one at that.

She watched, caught in a horrified trance as her creator was trapped. It seemed like hours to her, watching the woman be slowly sucked into the dime, but was probably only seconds to them. Her creator never looked at her, never acknowledged that she was brought into existence.

When the woman had finally disappeared, the shadow realized all her energy was gone. Did she even have any to begin with? She started to fade, confused and scared even as it happened, and sank into the shadow realm.

-=+=-

“Would you wake up.” A voice asked, sharp and cold. It was phrased like a question, but was so much more than just a command. It was imbued with magic so strong she couldn't have resisted if she tried.

(No matter how hard she tried.)

She had no eyes to open, but sight came to her suddenly. There was a figure standing before her, one she could vaguely recognise, despite the glowing red eyes and inky body. She realized she had a consciousness, her consciousness. It wasn’t like when she first gained a mind, going from nothing to everything. It was like she’d had thoughts of her own since her creation, but lost them when she dissolved, and only regained them at her creator’s command.

“I don’t understand.” The nameless shadow said, but she had no voice, and no mouth to speak with. It was like she had thought so loud anyone could have heard her. Perhaps everyone did.

The figure’s, her creator’s, beak twisted, into a smile that she will learn is too bright, too sweet, too kind, and hid things she will wish she had run from right in this moment.

But now she was small and innocent, only in control of her thoughts for mere minutes, and believed it when the figure said:

“I’m your Aunt Magica, dear. And you and me are going to do great things together.”

-=+=-

Aunt Magica told her things, weaved her stories of the overworld, a place she said they both belong. Magica told her the story of a wretched man who trapped them here, and of his jealousy of Magica’s power. Magica said she created her, and that they were going to find their way back to the overworld together, and that they’d be a family.

“What do you mean, a family?” She asked, her newly created beak malformed from lack of practice.

“Well, we would live in a nice little house, just the two of us. And we would cook meals there and go out on adventures. Maybe I’d even teach you some magic.” Magica had said, her voice pitched higher than normal, more controlled and precise, not that the shadow could tell. Magica’s grin sharpened, turning to her. “Would you like that?”

The shadow nodded, smiling earnestly. Or, as ernastly as she could, with her half formed figure.

“Then finish making yourself a body, alright.” Magica said, patting her on the head. “It’s only the first step in breaking us free.”

The shadow nodded, determined to make her aunt proud.

-=+=-

“Lena.”

“Hmp?” Magica blinked at her.

“I figured I needed a name, so I’d like you to call me Lena.” The shadow smiled shyly, tugging at her fingers. She was getting better at holding a form everyday, and she was slowly constructing a distinct body for herself, something she would always transform into rather than the random and different shapes she took each day. Once she had a stable and practiced form, they'd try to break out to the overworld.

Magica barked out a laugh, quickly smothering herself. Lena took a step back, her face morphing into an expression of shocked hurt and confusion.

“Oh it’s not you, something else.” Magica said, cooly covering her outburst.

“O-oh. I just-, nevermind.” Lena looked to the side, her eyebrows knit together and beak pressed tightly shut. She wasn't trying to upset you. It wasn't even about you, you’re being ridiculous. She cares about you. Just ignore it.

“Alright then, Lena.” Magica cooed, patting the shadow’s head, once again the picture perfect aunt. Lena nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

-=+=-

Lena fought with everything inside her, trying to crawl her way to the light. The shadow realm pulled back on her, wrapping itself around her in an almost comforting embrace.

She wanted to give into it. The light of the overworld burned, made her sob pure magic and heave phantom breaths of air she didn’t need.

She’d tried dozens of times before, tried to break her way out of the shadow realm. But every time she was sent back.

The light of the surface was too strong, it burnt her away, melting her back into nothing, until her only option was to retreat back to the little place she carved out for herself and let her consciousness be lost to the realm.

She would stay like that, something like what one may have called asleep, until the amulet that made her core generated enough magic to pull her consciousness back again.

But. She was almost there, almost out, inches from freedom. I’m gonna make it. She told herself, repeating it like a prayer. As if she could simply believe it into existence.

And yet, it was still too far. Her magic was running low, and it gave out before she could make it out. She faded back into the shadow realm, fated to try again.

-=+=-

Lena gained conscious blearily, disoriented. She knew this feeling, the amulet restoring her after she had dissolved and become another mindless part of the shadow realm. It was like being born for the first time all over again, no less painful, no matter how many times she experienced it. Her simulated senses picked up everything perfectly, but she forgot how to handle it, how to manage even the diluted sounds, shapes, and smells in the shadow realm.

“What the hell was that?” Magica asked, easily able to tell when the shadow ‘awoke’, her low and threatening tone making Lena cringe. Magica stood above the forming shadow, crossed arms outlined by painfully saturated red, an image Lena was unfortunately getting used to.

“I ran out of magic.” Lena looked away, guilt pooling in her core. Swirls of yellow joined the normal pink of her magic core, showing through Lena’s shaky and translucent shape, her form not yet fully recovered.

“I ran out of magic,” Magica mocked, her voice turning high and nasally. “We both know that's impossible. You’re not trying, that's where the problem is.” Her tone was harsh, cold and cutting.

“I’m trying as hard as I can, I promise I am.” Lena whispered. Magica ignored her completely, ranting over her.

“You cannot do this Lena! It took us ages to gather that much magic, who knows what century it will even be by the time we make it out of here! Do you even want to leave?”

“Of course I do!” Lena cried out.

“Do not talk over me.” Magica hissed, leaning in closer. “I have done everything for you, and this is how you repay me? I created you from nothing. I generate the magic that keeps you alive, reform you each time you disappear, I’ve taught you everything you know, and you can’t even pull yourself together enough to at least try to escape the shadow realm?”

“I am trying.” Lena’s voice cracked.

“You say that every time, and yet here we are.” Magica glared at her while Lena floundered, beak opening and closing with no words coming out, not knowing what to say.

She finally forced herself to speak. “I promise, I’ll try harder, I-” Magica held a finger up, and Lena immediately fell silent, her voice caught in her chest.

“I don’t want excuses. If you just want to stay here, then fine. I don’t need you.” Lena’s eyes widened, her core burning in her chest, like a flaming hand was grasping at it.

“I-I don’t want to stay! I want to leave with you, a-and be a family.” Lena replied desperately, terrified of Magica abandoning her. Not just because she would lose all her protection from the other shadows of the realm, but because Magica was the only thing she ever had.

Lena loved her aunt like a mother, why did Magica think she wanted to stay here? Didn’t she understand how Lena felt about her?

Didn’t Magica feel the same for her?

“Okay.” Magica said, her voice neutral.

Lena nodded shakily, curling up and pulling her knees to her chest, not looking at her aunt. Instead she studied her wispy fingers watching as the shadow knitted itself back into place. Magica studied her from where she stood, the two existing in a silence that dragged on for minutes.

“You know I only push you because I care.” Magica said, breaking the silence. She didn’t phrase it as a question.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Lena whispered. Magica nodded, moving away to study one of the books she’d stolen from a shade. (Shades were different from other shadows in the realm, impression of animals in the overworld that had passed. Often times they were too nice, and were easily taken advantage of. They often brought items with them from the overworld, some of the few physical things in the shadow realm.)

Lena curled tighter in on herself. She knew Magica cared, it just… didn’t feel like that sometimes. Especially after a fight. Especially when she didn’t apologize. She never apologizes, a bitter voice reminded her, but she pushed it away.

She wiped liquid magic off her face, not wanting Magica to see it leaking through her eyes.

Aunt Magica loved her. They were going to get out together, and everything would be okay. They’d be a family.

-=+=-

Almost there. So close-

Let go of me-

It burns it burns make it stop-

A booming snap sounded, and then light overcame her world.

-=+=-

Lena heaved breaths of air, air holy shit.

She made it, she was alive. She had a real body.

She grinned, laughing and falling onto her back. She was in the middle of a field, the light of the overworld for once not burning her away.

“I can’t believe it…” She mumbled, staring at the night sky. It almost reminded her of the shadow realm, unending darkness contrasted by miniscule points of light. But it was different. The darkness wasn’t all one pure black, it was broken by swirling clouds in different silvers. And the feeling of the grass on her back helped keep her grounded in the real world, not the muted darkness of the shadow realm.

She threw an arm over her face. Even the dim light of the stars and moon was harsh on her eyes, and she was exhausted. There was a reason it had taken so many tries to escape the shadow realm.

She didn’t want to sleep, scared she’d awaken back in the little den she and Magica had claimed. It would be just her luck that as soon as she got to the overworld her consciousness would be whisked back, too weak to stay in its unprotected state. But, she had not had a physical form long, and wasn’t yet used to it. She drifted off to the sound of crickets chirping in the distance, and soft grass touching her face.

Lena laid there for three days, caught in a dreamless sleep. Well, magic-over-exertion-coma was probably a more accurate way to put it, but the prospect of being able to sleep made her giddy.

When she finally awoke the sun was rising, painting the sky soft pinks and oranges. She grinned at it, smiling so hard she felt her face would split open. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

All the colors in the shadow realm were harsh, true black offset by bright colors so saturated they seemed to glow. It was the only color to be found in the whole dimension, used to define the shape of structures and bodies of creatures.

But the soft pastels of the sunset were so different from the little color she was used too. It was warm and inviting, and when she pushed herself up to look at the other colors around her, mint green grass and pale blue flowers, she felt the same warmth bubbling in her chest.

Lena shuffled her knees under her, still weak and wobbly in her new, unfamiliar, mortal body. She crawled over to a cluster of wild flowers, picking a few and rubbing the petals between her fingers. It was almost difficult to tell how they felt, the feathers not letting her have direct contact, but it was like she could still touch them, their velvety softness still registering to her.

“Weird.” She breathed a giddy laugh. She started picking more flowers, piling them in the simple dress Magica had instructed her to form for herself.

“I see you’re finally awake.” A bitter voice called out, making her jump.

“Aunt Magica…?” She looked around her, unable to see her aunt.

“Behind you.” Magica hissed. Lena looked over her shoulder, seeing the stretched out form of her aunt. She realized she had been facing directly into the sun, making her aunt appear behind her. She twisted herself around smiling nervously. Shame coiled in her stomach, guilty for upsetting the aunt who had done so much for her.

“Isn’t it great? We’re finally on the surface.”

Magica rolled her eyes, arms crossed. “No it isn’t great. Nothing is going to be great until we’ve stolen the dime from Scrooge, taken our revenge, and have my body back. And yet you’re sitting here, playing with flowers like a simpleton.”

“Sorry.” Lena mumbled, ducking her head and fisting the flowers in her lap. She willed away the burning in her eyes. This is my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so sidetracked.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get up and start walking.”

Lena nodded jerkely, taking a deep breath. She shoved the flowers in the pockets of her dress, not yet wanting to let them go.

Ignoring Magica’s eyeroll and muttered comments, Lena slowly stood, struggling to balance herself. She clutched the sides of her dress, taking a few small steps.

“Excellent.” Magica cooed. Lena brightened for a split second, then wilted, realizing Magica was mocking her. She ignored Magica’s smirk at her mistake, pulling a flower from her pocket to wrap around her finger.

“Which way do I go?” She asked, voice small.

Magica tutted at her. “I was getting to that. Show me the amulet first, I need to be sure you didn’t ruin the one thing vital to both of our existences.”

Lena fumbled to pull the transmuted amulet out from under the front of her dress. The chain was thick, but the jewel itself was miniscule. Her heart sank. It wasn't supposed to be that small.

“I, uh… it-” She stuttered, face flaming.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’ll grow back to its correct size.” Magica waved her off, annoyed. “You’re body is made entirely of magic, once you eat something you can start generating more to replenish the amulet.” Lena’s breath hitched, her chest filling with ice.

Magica started extending herself off towards the nearest city, expecting Lena to follow. When she was halted, not able to move any farther from the motionless girl, she narrowed her eyes, yelling back at the shadow child.

“What in Hades name are you doing just standing around?” Lena mumbled something in response, too quiet for Magica to hear. The sorceress huffed, constricting back so the core of her body was once again near her “niece”.

“What?”

“Am I not real?” The girl asked, hugging herself. She felt real, and she had always thought as soon as they escaped the shadow realm she’d be a whole person. The idea that she still wasn’t real, even after ages of pain and exhaustion spent trying to escape, was crushing.

Magica dragged a hand down her face in obvious annoyance. Lena felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She should have just shut up, asked at a better time or something.

“Functionally you have a mortal, physical body, which works almost the same as anyone else’s, except its made of magic energy, not matter. The only real difference is that you can’t age, and you can use your body to generate more magic energy. That work for you?”

Lena took a shaky breath, then nodded, wiping at her face.

“Is… is t-there a way to get me a fully mortal body?” She looked at the ground, as far from Magica’s face as she could.

Magica responded after a moment, her voice easily mistaken as kind and gentle. “Of course dear, we just need to get my body back.”

Lena nodded, and began walking.

-=+=-

It took Lena a few hours to reach the city. Magica had pointed her in the direction of the nearest road, and then disappeared back to the shadow realm, trying to ration their limited magic.

But Lena was glad for the solitude. Her and Magica where almost always together in the shadow realm, cramped in their small domain. At least she had a chance to be alone for a bit.

She marveled at the things around her, collecting random rocks and leaves, sticking them in her pockets, and then examining them one at a time as she walked. Magica had educated her about the overworld as much as possible when they were generating magic between escape attempts, but hearing about it and seeing it for real were incredibly different.

But even as she experienced all these great new things, something weighed her down. Her thoughts turned back to her aunt, and what was going to happen next.

She’d always thought the second they got to the surface everything would become perfect. Magica was more aggressive recently, losing her temper easier and having less of a filter. Lena knew it was just the stress of lost time, but she’d thought once they got to the surface Magica would be relieved, instead her aunt had yelled at her for passing out.

She felt sick. Its my fault she’s so stressed out all the time anyway. What right do I have to be upset? Aunt Magica’s right, I should have tried harder…

-=+=-

Having a mortal body was odd. The first time Lena felt hungry she thought she was dying, which Magica had laughed at so hard she accidentally sent herself back to the shadow realm.

When she came back, Magica showed Lena where to get herself something to eat. Lena had bought a sandwich with the small amount of money she had taken from Magica’s safe. When they first arrived in the overworld they were at the place where the final battle had taken place, unfortunately a few hours walk from Magica’s money depository, and a several day bus ride from Duckburg.

The sandwich was literally the best thing Lena had ever experienced. She’d never eaten food before, but goddamn, mortals sure took it for granted.

She spent the next few days on the bus, a trip barely covered by the small amount of money her aunt had stashed. Magica assured Lena that when they got to Duckburg they could just take the money out of her bank account, which, uhh, didn’t end well.

Apparently showing up looking like you’ve never showered in your life and claiming you were the relative of someone who had been missing for four and a half years didn’t incline the bank to give you money. Go figure.

So. Lena was left in a big city with the physical body and mind of a thirteen year old, with no way to get food. Great.

“What are we gonna do now?” Lena asked her aunt, curled outside the Duckburg bank.

“Nothing.” Lena’s eyebrows scrunched.

“Don’t I need food though? This is kinda a problem, isn't it?”

“Obviously, but since someone couldn't convince the bank teller, there’s nothing we can do.” Magica said, uncaring.

Repressed anger flared in Lena’s chest.

“How is this my fault?” For once, there was literally nothing she could have done to make a different outcome. Trying harder wouldn't change anything when you were forcibly removed by someone three feet taller and four times wider than you.

“Do not talk back to me.” Magica hissed, eyes flashing dangerously.

Lena turned away, eyes stinging with angry tears. She tried to ignore the anger and resentment simmering in her stomach. The pool of negative emotion seemed to be growing with each day, breeding guilt that only brought more anger towards herself rather than her aunt.

It just wasn't fair. Nothing is fair. Magica’s voice rang from her mind. That doesn't mean it's not frustrating as shit.

The woman hadn't even apologized, just instructed Lena to eat tree bark. (Which technically sounds a lot worse than it is. She could ingest non digestible biomatter and turn it into magic energy that could keep her alive. Painfully hungry 24/7, but alive.)

She cares about you. She’s tough because she cares.

The words sounded hollow, ringing in Lena’s mind like a choir of too loud bells.

#lena ducktales #lena de spell #lena le strange #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt 17 #wip #my writing #child abuse tw

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