#incorrect mtg quotes

[phyrexianphamily]

Hey, Elesh, look! I'm smoking! You can't control dick!

Urabrask, Streets of New Capenna

#urabrask #elesh norn #new capenna #streets of new capenna #new phyrexia #praetors #phyrexian praetors #incorrect quotes #incorrect mtg quotes #source: family guy

[douglysium]

Cards used are-

Eruth, Tormented Prophet

Academy Loremaster

Azorius Knight-Arbitor

Compulsive Research

Bruvac the Grandiloquent

Whispering Snitch

Coffin Puppets

Daretti, Ingenious Iconoclast

Ob Nixilis of the Black Oath

Attune with Aether

Zendikar Resurgent

#mtg #magicthegathering #incorrect mtg quotes #meme #edit

[incorrect-mtg]

Vraska: Loot, we need you to help us find a place, alright?

Loot: [understanding chirping]

Vraska: Can you show us the way to Equilor?

Loot:

Loot, in a GPS voice: Planning route to. Equilor. Let's go. Turn right.

Vraska:

Jace: Ok, that's weird, right?

#magic the gathering #incorrect quotes #jace beleren #vraska #loot mtg

[epherwillc]

Jace, visibly dying: hi, mom… This is my girlfriend… She tried to kill me and then I worked on her pirate ship…

Ranna: oookay

(later)

J: hi, mom! Vraska and I have a kid now

R, a little confused: well I haven’t thought about grandkids in some time-

Loot: hello! my name’s loot!

R:

#r: jace honey we both know you did well in school #r: but I don’t think biology was your strong suit #j: yeah no it wasn’t #j: that’s why we broke loot out of a vault #r: like #r: like a bank vault #Vraska: yes #r: do I want to know? #j: well it wasn’t as dangerous as when I first came back #v: that’s a bit of a low bar #mtg #magic: the gathering #jace beleren #Vraska #ranna beleren #outlaws of thunder junction spoilers #incorrect quotes

[incorrect-yugioh]

my opponent: * continues to combo after the 5th Special Summon *

me: * pondering my nibiru *

#pondering #mtg #yugioh #ygo #incorrectygo #incorrect quotes #nibiru

[wintermariegoode]

Chandra : I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Jaya: Really? Name one law

Chandra : Don't kill people?

Jaya : That's on me. I set the bar too low.

#mtg #jaya ballard #chandra nalaar #incorrect quotes

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

if the planeswalkers found a planeswalker with therapist training

jace explains his life story over the course of 4 hours and they're immediately like sorry I don't think I can help you. I don't think there's a shrink qualified enough in this multiverse to deal with that hot mess

#mtg #mtg shitposts #jace beleren #source: dragon ball z abridged #incorrect quotes

[toweringclam]

Elesh Norn: "Though all is reduced to rubble, Phyrexia shall rise again. So it has been, and so it always shall be."

Elspeth: "No. You're wrong."

Elspeth: *takes Elesh Norn's face in her hands*

Elspeth: "It's time for you to go."

#incorrect mtg #incorrect magic the gathering #magic:thegathering #magicthegathering #mtg #magic the gathering #magic: the gathering #she ra #she ra and the princess of power icons #she ra incorrect quotes

[mtg-is-life-frf]

Incorrect Quotes of Gatewatch 6

Jace: I'm a reverse necromancer. Liliana: Isn't that just killing people? Jace: Ah, technicality.

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Jace: Must be hard not being able to laugh Liliana: I do have a sense of humor you know Jace: I’ve never heard you laugh before Liliana: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

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Jace: Bad things keep happening to me like I have bad luck or something. Liliana: Jace, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

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Jace, struggling to keep upright in their 1-inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Liliana, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6-inch heels: WEAK.

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Jace: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Liliana: You and me!!! Jace, tearing up: Okay.

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Jace: Violence isn't the answer. Liliana: You’re right. Jace: *sighs in relief* Liliana: Violence is the question. Jace: What? Liliana, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Jace, running after them: NO-

#pfff #oop- #Liliana Vess #Jace Beleren #love birds! #Incorrect quotes of Gatewatch #MtG

[wifelinkmtg]

you guys i’m starting to think magic story might not be that good

I’m really really happy the Phyrexia essay found its intended audience, and i’m glad it resonated so deeply with so many of you! People have asked me if they can quote it or lift concepts from it, and the answer is yes, absolutely! Please attribute it to me if you do, and if you want to send me whatever you’re using it in I would love to read it, though that’s optional. That’s the first thing.

The second thing is, man, was March of the Machine story a wet dud or what? I try to set my expectations low with official WotC stuff, but I did not have them set anywhere near low enough. Consequently, it’s been difficult to muster the energy lately to do things on this blog because, like, jeez, what an unceremonious and largely consequence-free waste of potential all of that was (except for the Ixalan story. The Ixalan story had everything: amazing kaiju fights [sorry Ikoria] and Magic’s best lesbian couple [sorry Gruulfriends, also congrats Gruulfriends.] “But what about the Ravnica story?” you, an incorrect person, say, “I thought the Ravnica story was really good,” you continue, incorrectly. The Ravnica story was very bad! It had really good ideas in it, but it was exceedingly-poorly written. My most charitable interpretation is that there was a miscommunication, and the author expected there would be a thorough editorial pass, and instead they just published it as-is. Sad! I would have really enjoyed a well-written version of that story. </hater>) But also it’s been difficult to muster enthusiasm to do Magic stuff lately because of WotC’s extracurriculars (increasingly-predatory attempts to more thoroughly monetize D&D, the fucking thing with the fucking Pinkertons.) But today I took an Adderall because it’s one of the rare days I actually have to focus on a task at work, and I’m using the residual focus to post an overdue update here, hello!

And I’m not done with this blog! Far from it. I’m going to keep posting dumb horny card art reviews here, for sure, but here’s some other stuff you can expect to see in the next few months or so:

1. a follow-up to the Phyrexia essay digging into the question of what a “fascist aesthetic” is, what it’s for in fiction, what it means to enjoy things that contain those elements. I think this is a really interesting topic with a lot of depth and hopefully nuance to it, and I really only skirted it in the original essay, and oh man did people have things to say about that (most of them polite). I addressed a similar topic previously on this blog when I talked about the conquistador vampires in Ixalan, but I don’t think I’m satisfied with that post. I think we can also talk about how we engage with a text, and how we engage with a text like Magic: the Gathering specifically. This is a lot to cover, and it may end up getting trimmed down, or I may succumb entirely to the seduction of scope creep. Who can say!

2. an essay on chivalry in its historical contexts, how it’s been used, what purposes it serves in a society (its role, for instance, in sustaining white supremacy in America), and what it means when we encounter it in “sword lesbian” media (the Locked Tomb books, Revolutionary Girl Utena, etc.) This is going to require a great deal of research and I have no idea what my ultimate conclusion will be, but it’s a topic I’m personally very invested in for a whole host of reasons.

3, maybe. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing MtG fic for a while, because they keep wasting potential and I think I could do a better job. If I do, I’ll post it here, but no promises. Fiction isn’t my main genre, and fanfic isn’t something I’ve gotten seriously into before, despite being on tumblr since 2011. But someone needs to do Avacyn justice, so we’ll see.

4. other writing. I’m a lightly-published poet in real life, and I’m currently working on my first chapbook, so maybe I’ll try putting some of it on tumblr, and since this blog’s readership has surpassed my personal, I guess? I’d put it here? Or, possibly, the short horror stories I infrequently write. Again, we’ll see.

5. Obviously I’m going to keep doing the horny Magic card art reviews. I’m not feeling the new stuff right now, but there’s a lot of older sets I haven’t done yet. The Tarkir block is next - and in fact, I think that will be the next post on this blog. I think it’s time we started appreciating Monastery Swiftspear for more than her brutal efficiency in aggro decks, because frankly she’s a snack and this should be acknowledged.

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hit me up if you wanna play some Commander, and I’ll see y’all in the next one!

[phyrexianphamily]

Where have all our lesbians gone?

Sheoldred, Dominaria United

#sheoldred #dominaria #dominaria united #new phyrexia #praetors #phyrexian praetors #incorrect quotes #incorrect mtg quotes #source: jesus christ vampire hunter

[douglysium]

Shadow Wizard Money Guild

This meme may be dead but I managed to contract its soul and bring it back. Don't ask what possessed me to make a meme out of an idea I'm 100% at least MTG fan has done already.

#mtg #magicthegathering #meme #incorrect mtg quotes #Orzhov #Youtube

[uni-seahorse-572]

Coming to you with a sokeefitz fic update:

So I write in this really weird way that's super inefficient but it works so i don't want to mess with it where i basically just write a giant incorrect quote and then glue the actual sentences together from there

Anyway. The incorrect quote is done! I might staple a little more onto the bottom of the mtg or baking sections but i'm really happy with where it is right now. And all of its 4k words that'll probably end up as more like 6k words.

Well i have a tendency to go overboard, so that's not really surprising and a lot of the words are explaining mtg to both keefe fitz and the audience so those are important words. I was not expecting this to be so long but i'm really enjoying their interactions. Sometimes it feels like fitz is trying to wrangle two 7 year olds which is just everything i could ever ask for. (Ew, preposition--wrong fic aah)

The mtg portion was really fun to write per usual and i'm not regretting it at all. It was actually easier than i remembered because i took better notes this time. Who would' e thought?

But now it's on to the hard part. Taking out the swear words (or most of them i'm not entirely decided) and filling the gaps with actual words and sentences. Also coming up with a title.

Awesome! Congrats on the progress so far and I can’t wait to see what the fic becomes. Honestly every “short” project I have never does turn out as short as I expect - not sure whether better estimations of length is a skill you develop or whether I just am doomed to underestimate. Also that’s literally half the Sokeefitz Vibe (tm)

May I just say that I don’t understand how you are the grammarian you are. It’s genuinely insane to me that you look at sentences and think that they’re messed up because of the preposition stuff whereas I simply put them where they wanna go.

As far as swear words I think you’d be fine even if you just left them, as plenty of kotlc fic had tons of swears, particularly on ao3. Best of luck with your writing!

[incorrect-mtg]

Jace, walking in on Vraska making lunch: that smells delicious- what are you putting into Loot's dish?

Vraska: Poison?

Jace:

Jace: Why?

Vraska: Isn't it normal to feed kids poison so they get a resistance while they're young?

Jace: ... I think that might be a Golgari thing? Or a gorgon thing?

Loot: [happy chirping]

Jace: Well, he says he likes the flavor, at least.

#magic the gathering #incorrect quotes #jace beleren #vraska #loot mtg

[epherwillc]

garruk: hey kids, nice to see-

g: why are you wearing armor

rowan: woods are nightmares

g: what

will, grabbing a sword: woods are nightmares

g:

g, putting on his helmet: good, I was just getting bored

#g: here take this sword #and this sword #and my axe #r: uncle garruk I don’t think we can carry- #w: 5 bucks says you can carry his axe #r: 10 buck says you can’t #g: I’m so proud of you #ashiok: …(chuckle) I’m in danger #probably mild spoilers #wilds of eldraine #will kenrith #rowan kenrith #garruk wildspeaker #ashiok #mtg #magic the gathering #incorrect quote

[squishmallow36]

KOTLP for numbers 11 and 15? 👀

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Okay i'm gonna start by saying that i actually finished the thing. Even with all of its (almost) 150k words. It may have taken over a year, but it's done. I've never done that before. On to actual parts of the fic. Uh chapter 34 with its mtg game; the fedex arc from 36 to 42, all of dex's little fun facts, fedex's little arguments on everything, just anything fluffy was so fun to reread when i was cleaning it up to post.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Is it wrong to say everything? This was the first fanfic i'd written while consciously aware of fanfic's existence, and before that, i'd given up a few k in and it was always on paper. I mean, i've laid in bed writing fics in my head for as long as i can remember, but those weren't official. I also came up with my incorrect quote method on chapter 20. And speaking of chapter 20, i learned a lot from having to get fedex /out/ of that situation. I also learned a lot about canadian english and how it differs from american english so yeah there's no shortage of stuff i learned.

#i like referencing chapters by number to avoid spoilers for people #i hope that's okay #i don't have what happens in every chapter memorized...but some stand out in my brain