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dearjerryyan · 7 years

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Dear Jerry,

Long time no write. How are you? You look great! When my son saw my cellphone wallpaper, the one of you in a teal-colored baseball jersery, he said you haven’t aged a bit! I couldn’t agree more. Seeing you every time I swipe that screen, I smile and feel so happy.

Happy, indeed. I’ve been that these past days. Quietly happy, if I may say so myself. Contentment is such a priceless thing and I am grateful that I am finally capturing these feelings.

If it weren’t for the security issues the world is going through right now, life would be idyllic. On the night of the Ariana Grande concert bombing in London, a city two hours away from ours was bombed by ISIS-aspirant terrorists. It’s been three weeks, and today as we celebrate our country’s Independence Day there is a nervous vibe permeating the city. Aircrafts are hovering over our communities as the ISIS aspirants have infiltrated our city. I just spoke with a lady from the police force, a mother of my preschool student, she said that the confidential information is that these terrorists have already achieved two of the three assignments given to them by their topdog. They are yet (and I pray they don’t succeed) to do a suicide bombing. We all must stay vigilant.

I know I had to take time writing you otherwise I wouldn’t release this gnawing feeling dancing in my chest. My research proposal for my masters degree will be due tomorrow and I have yet to finish it. But with my mind inundated with thoughts of the love stories that are Wonder Woman and Goblin, and the Asian holiday that is Kevin Kwan’s Rich People Problems and the real time security threats, I couldn’t quite concentrate on finishing that damn requirement.

Perhaps if I write you, my thoughts would be put in order and the clearing will give me the space to write my paper.

Well, first off, if you’ve seen Wonder Woman, my golly, Chris Pine’s Steve Trevor and Gal Gadot’s Diana – their dynamics, their chemistry, their love story is so sexy, it’s making an active volcano of my dormant libido. Hahaha! Finally, Hollywood has redeemed itself in bringing back clean, fresh, strong and old fashioned romance to the silverscreen. The ideals of an equal partnership that is not enslaved with wanton sex waiting to be consummated is just so beautiful I could stay in that place with Steve and Diana forever.

That Steve doesn’t take advantage of Diana’s naïvete in terms of normal human dealings, that he isn’t the least bit insecure by Diana’s capabilities, but allows her instead to do what she can while doing what he can (which above average by human standards, even from this perspective) pulls at my heart strings. Though Diana is obviously superior by virtue of being a goddess, she does not emasculate. They are equals in that Steve has brawn and brains and Diana is attracted to this, as Steve is attracted to her uniqueness, wonder woman strength and beauty. The ingredients of a perfect love story. The ideals I have been seeking out for so long – finally, if not in real life, at least I can go back to it in the big screen, for Gal Gadot and Chris Pine have delivered this divinely.

I suppose I will stay in my Wonder Woman cloud for awhile before going back to the magic of Gong Yoo’s Goblin, which I started before the explosion of WW. Funny how my mother’s former co-teacher and I have bonded in FB over Gong Yoo and Chris Pine. She’s in the north, while I’m in the south of the country, yet we are together as women longing for our Steve Trevors and Oppas. She sent me the youtube links to Gong Yoo’s CNN interview and Chris Pine’s duet with Barbra Streisand (I’ll Be Seeing You, my favorite!/ I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face) which is on repeat play in my cellphone. She has not seen Wonder Woman yet as she is still immersed in work – this week perhaps. And then we go back to the chatbox. Which reminds me of my own masters assignment.

In contemplating the simple and beautiful ideals of the Wonder Woman love story, I think of my cousin who is embroiled in her own quarter life drama. Her boyfriend, a professor ten years her senior from the north, has been calling me, my sister and my cousin’s sister, asking for advice for their relationship on the rocks. In a nutshell, I am ashamed to say my poor cousin is playing around with two guys. Her sister, my sister, and I have advised him to break up with her. In love with her as he is, her carelessness, selfishness ought not be condoned especially by him. I told the boyfriend that I am withdrawing my support for their relationship and that the best thing he could do is to endorse her back to her family (as she made the big leap of flying to the north to try their relationship out, only to jeopardize it by deceit). She’s pulling an ugly Daisy Buchanan to his unwitting Gatsby. So I told him that if you love her, you will want her to be a better person, and you will want to be a better man. Look at how Steve and Diana in the last quarter of the movie went their own ways doing what they had to do in the name of saving the world. But, a day after my cousin (the sister), my sister and I advised him to leave the relationship, he texted me, “Sorry, Ate (big sister), I cannot leave just yet.” Apparently, Tiffany won. I heard myself singing “Love is Blind” after more than 20 years.

I wonder what I would have been had I been raised in a happy household headed by parents of a successful marriage. I wonder if I would have naturally made me a good, happy, empowered wife.

Just for a moment, I recalled how I felt like Diana to what I perceived to be ex-soulmate’s Steve. Equals. Empowered to do what I can, secure that he could do what he could. For awhile, he was my guy best friend whom I could actually kiss and hold hands. It was a dream that was almost a plan. I cried for a moment early this morning for the bursting of that dream. That was the closest to a heartwarming love story in my book. Apparently, it was not meant to be. (Remember, it was Meteor Garden that cried with me.) So here I am, in my own Themyscyra, a land of women, just women – strong and fierce – offering strength, love, hoping to save the world. So much for Chris Pine’s Steve, there’s only women, and no, I will always be attracted to men. Your kind, Chris Pine’s kind, (I wonder if) Gong Yoo’s kind.

Before I end, I also want to share that, OMG, my eighteen year old son and I are talking about American Pie already. After hiding all my American Pie VCDs from him when he was a little boy, there he was in his classmate’s house watching those damned movies. But we did share laughs about MILF (who looks like my beautician), Stifler and the engagement ring in the poop, the asshole who banged MILF (the one who looked like Sheldon, my son said). I told him that watching American Pie with his dad was telling of our doomed relationship: he and I didn’t laugh together at this hilarious comedy. My son replied, I think I’ll make that a criterion in seeing whether my relationships will work in the future. I can’t believe I’m a mom to a big guy now.

Well, this is it, Jerry. Thank you for being my sounding board. I wonder if I’ll ever get to listen to you, or any available men my age at this time in my life, for that matter.

Still, thank you.

Fan love,

Kai

#jerry yan #wonder woman #chris pine #gal gadot #love stories #single mom #gong yoo #goblin #tiffany #love is blind #american pie #letter to no one #happy

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