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locoluis · 3 years

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Pam's visit to the doctor

DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional story. I have no medical knowledge, so the following is all artistic licence and stuff taken from the web. Please consult a proper medical professional if you experience any of the symptoms described below. Oh, and sorry for the sloppy writing.

It has been from bad to worse during the last weeks. I don't like summer, I get way too sweaty and dehydrated. I get sunburned easily. I am self conscious about my body and will need to wear less than the normal amount of clothing I usually enjoy wearing, which attracts the stares of people who look like they haven't seen a girl with more than a B cup in their entire lives.

Like they never get out of this town.

I like going to the city, even though the climate is warmer there than up here in the hills, because nobody bats an eye about my appearance there, or at least not that much. The city centre is a couple hours away by bus. Only a few, elderly people are joining me in this trip I absolutely need to carry out.

The local paediatricians are as useless as the painkillers they prescribe. One of them said: “ At this point, you should consider going to an adult's doctor. ” Madam, I'm only twelve, and you're supposed to be able to take care of people through their late teens. Don't come at me with such rubbish.

Then my PE teacher recommended me this children's hospital in the city, and I got an appointment. I got so stressed during the bus trip that the box of chocolates that I brought with me didn't last long enough. I hope this isn't as bad as it feels.

Even though this is the second time I've seen this particular lady, I immediately recognised her. Shorter than me, dangerously skinny, with a childish face despite being in her mid-thirties, and a brunette ponytail of ridiculous length.

— Pamela Evans. I remember you.

— Dr. Eliana Martínez. You were the lady who awarded me the gold medal at the swimming competition a few months ago.

— Indeed. That was… a random, unusual philanthropic gesture from me. I must confess that your victory caught me by surprise, as you looked like you didn't even want to participate.

— Well, Mum taught me to swim at an early age, and she really wanted me to participate. But I hate PE with a passion, and it was really embarrassing for me to be in a swimsuit with all those people around. You can guess why.

— Yeah, I can relate, having been pregnant once. Never again.

I couldn't quite hide my amazement. How does such a twiggy lady manage to have a child growing inside such a tiny belly?

— Indeed, I have a daughter. Her name is Violeta, and she will soon be bigger than me. I carried my baby through full term, with no complications, shattering all expectations. I guess I'm a woman after all, ha ha ha. But enough about me; please tell me what brings you here.

I took a long breath.

— Doctor, during the last few weeks it's been difficult for me to concentrate in class, to get asleep, to get enough rest. I sweat way too much. I feel a lot of anxiety, even to the point of paranoia. Sometimes I feel my heart beating too hard and too fast. Sometimes I feel a burning sensation in my chest. And I've been putting on quite some weight, though I'm not sure how much of that is just going through puberty.

— Well, body changes are normal through puberty, and girls grow and develop at different rates.

— I'm aware of that. All my classmates still look like children. I'm the only one with the shape of a grown-up woman at twelve.

— About that. When I was twelve, it was the exact opposite. The other girls were all grown up, while I still look like a ten years old.

— Well, you sure are tiny, even compared to my classmates.

— Yeah, yeah. Now that I think about it, you look a lot like one of mine. Blue eyes, a different hairstyle and nose shape, a slimmer waist, but otherwise she was a dead ringer for you.

— Even her breast size?

— Indeed. She was curvy and gorgeous, and all the boys were crazy for her, but she only had eyes for one boy… who just wasn't ready for a relationship. And it made me cringe that she didn't seem to feel pretty enough, that she wore more make-up than was necessary, plus her dangerously short, tight-fit school pinafore dress… she looked ridiculous.

— Oh, I have some classmates who are like that. Not me, though; I already get way too much attention without doing anything with my looks.

— Well, you seem more like the forbidden snack type, which ironically is more attractive for some men than the overly sexy type.

— … Ach-y-fi.

— … Excuse me? I'm not a native English speaker, and that's a word I haven't heard before.

— Oh, that's a local expression of disgust. Like, it seems like I can't avoid the male gaze.

— That's their problem, Miss Evans, not yours. Don't make it your problem. I've got nothing here, yet men still stare.

— Well, your body type is even more unusual…

— I know. But you have to excuse me, this is getting way off-topic. I don't usually talk to my patients about my own childhood, and I'm talking to you like we knew each other from long ago.

— Well, I don't mind. Yours seems to have been an interesting childhood.

— Indeed, but that's not why you're here. So let me get through this. Most of the issues that you describe are not necessarily associated with puberty, and no sign of pain or discomfort is worth getting glossed over. First of all, please stand on the scale to get your height and weight measured.

I do. To no surprise, I'm overweight. She also checked my heart rate and blood pressure.

— Now, tell me. Tea, coffee, carbonated drinks. How much do you drink each day?

— Not much, actually. I drink a couple cups of tea each day. Unlike the rest of my family, who just can't get enough of it. And they drink green tea, which tastes horrible to me.

— Hmm. What about chocolate?

She stopped talking when she noticed the sheer expression of horror in my face.

— What? Did I hit a nerve, Miss Evans? Please tell me how much do you eat everyday. Answer truthfully.

I started crying uncontrollably. She patiently bears with me through this.

— … Doctor. I have a lot of admirers. Every day I get several boxes of chocolate in the mail. And I can't control myself.

— Well, chocolates have a high calorie count due to their sugar and fat content. And the symptoms you've been experiences are consistent with an excessive chocolate intake.

— And now you're telling me that I have to eat less chocolates. As if my life wasn't horrible enough.

— Well, at least you don't have acne… yet.

— ACNE!? Oh my God! I need to stop eating chocolates right now!

— Well, acne is more of an issue with eating lots of carbohydrates and dairy products, and there's no consensus about the link between acne and chocolate consumption. But I still advise you to reduce the amount of chocolate you eat everyday.

— I understand.

— To prevent acne, you should eat more fruits, vegetables and fish. Drinking green tea is also good against acne, and it has many more health benefits. It contains caffeine, so it too must be consumed in moderation.

— Green tea. As I said, I don't like it.

— Add lemon juice and stevia to it. There are many types of green tea, you just have to find which one is better tasting for you. And brewing it correctly is quite important in order to get it just right, not too bitter or watery.

— Well, thank you.

— I'll prescribe you some medication in order to treat the symptoms you've mentioned. But you should follow my instructions in order to attack their root cause. Stop eating so many chocolates, and come back in a month or so, in order to check your progress. I most likely won't be around, as I travel a lot and I'm currently on a temporary contract, but Dr. Spencer is an experienced paediatrician who will be able to take your case.

— I'll do. Oh, and I have a last question. Do you think I should get a breast reduction? And how do I get it on the NHS?

— Well, first of all, I don't think it's advisable to get one while you're still developing, except in extreme cases of breast hypertrophy. Second, you should get down to a stable weight, and get an assessment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. Third, as there are many women seeking to get breast reduction surgery on the NHS, the waiting list can be up to several years, and a lot of women are being turned down as not meeting their criteria. Also, private treatment is quite expensive. And… would you like me to measure you?

— Yeah, sure.

Her procedure for measuring my breast size is a bit more complicated than what I knew. She then puts the measurements on a spreadsheet, which gets her a bunch of numbers.

— Wearing a good-fitting bra can alleviate many of the issues associated with large breasts. Also, I'm recommending you some exercises that can strengthen your core muscles, and some tips to improve your posture. But I wouldn't advise a breast reduction surgery on someone like you, as its risks and consequences certainly outweigh the possible benefits. They're not that big, actually; you just have a delicate body frame. Your ideal weight is lower than that of other girls of your age and height.

— I understand.

I need to make a lot of sacrifices in order to stop feeling like this. Mum is going to stare me down and tell me: “ I told you, Pam ”. And then I'm asking her what we should do with so all those chocolates.

#puberty #fiction #health

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Nancy & Rio

Nancy: I can't believe you're going along with this craziness Nancy: Oh my god, Rio Rio: I know it's fast Rio: but really, what difference does it make Nancy: It's not just fast, it's rushed Nancy: Not to sound like my mother but he should literally be at school Rio: I did tell him to go back Rio: He just wants to help with all the mess here Nancy: By leaving to jet off and get married? Yeah okay Rio: Well, obviously that's different Rio: but that's for me Nancy: My parents are gonna kill him, you do know that, right? Rio: I know Rio: but like I said, everyone knew Rio: it wasn't just empty words, we were always going to go through with it Nancy: Jesus Nancy: When he'd graduated, sure Nancy: Not now Nancy: He's not even started uni yet Rio: Give him chance to see the world and change his mind Rio: I know that's what your family wants, it's alright Nancy: If you're thinking there's a chance of it too, don't marry him Nancy: You're already engaged, everyone knows he's with you Nancy: You don't need to prove he's locked down before freshers week, like Rio: That's not why we're doing this Rio: Or how I am Nancy: Explain it to me then, 'cause lord knows he hasn't Rio: It is getting a little old, like Rio: Because we want to be married Rio: How else is there to say it Nancy: But why can't you just wait? Rio: Why should we though? Nancy: There's only a million reasons Nancy: Namely you aren't kids anymore and know how to be mature about things Nancy: Everyone would wanna be there, not tacked on as an afterthought, like Nancy: He should want to not spend all my parents money on this and wait until he's earning his own Nancy: You don't even live together Nancy: Do I actually have to go on? Rio: No you don't Rio: none of you want to be there Rio: and your parents don't specify what he's gotta do with the ridiculous amount of money they throw at him so Rio: if they wanna now it's a bit late, isn't it Nancy: That's not true Nancy: You're being unfair Nancy: Give me some credit if not them, I've been nothing but supportive Rio: I'm not saying you've not accepted that it's happening Rio: most have but no one's happy about it and that's fine Rio: can't force it but why wouldn't we want to do it alone without the pressure and background thought of all your lots bullshit, you know Nancy: No, you're just saying I wouldn't wanna be there Nancy: I love you both Rio: We'll have another one Rio: Later, with everyone Nancy: That's not the same Nancy: That's just a party Rio: What, you're really invested in the religious ceremony now or the legality of it all? Rio: It'll be the same Nancy: You're gonna be a bitch to me right now, really? Nancy: Okay fine Rio: I'm not trying to be a bitch but really Rio: it isn't an argument, stick to your former points if you like Rio: but that ain't valid Nancy: Oh my god, Buster spends all this time acting like I don't care, basically telling me I don't and now when I'm trying to show that I do neither of you want it Rio: Because it only comes up whenever y'all want us to not do something Nancy: Don't lump me in with my parents Nancy: That's so rude Rio: Sorry Rio: We told you because you are different Rio: and we weren't going to just do it and give you no warning Nancy: But not different enough that you actually want me there Nancy: Or that you don't think I need to be warned like this is the worse news ever or something Rio: It's hardly personal, come on Rio: We don't want anyone there Nancy: It's personal to me Nancy: I've only got one brother Rio: He isn't dying Rio: This doesn't need to be the thing it's becoming Rio: plenty of couples do the official wedding before the reception and all that, it's not that different Nancy: Other couples don't matter to me Nancy: And I don't know how you don't get what a big deal this is, not only that you're getting married, which is one thing Nancy: But also that you're basically doing it in secret again Rio: It's not a secret Rio: it's just for us Rio: I want to do one thing for myself Rio: all due respect this isn't about any of you Nancy: I'm not trying to make you feel bad Nancy: Or take anything away from you Nancy: Honestly Nancy: I'm just trying to get my head around this Rio: Yeah Rio: It's okay Rio: I know it's sudden, like I said Nancy: I know he really wants this Nancy: I could tell Nancy: I just Nancy: Is anything ever gonna calm down with this family, or? Rio: Probably not Rio: Looking unlikely Nancy: If you're happy that's all I want Nancy: Oversimplified maybe but Rio: I know it's not going to make you happy Rio: I'm just trying to say Rio: do you have to be unhappy about it, like Rio: it's not the worst thing, yeah Nancy: I'm not unhappy, I was just shocked Nancy: This is my brother you're marrying, you know Nancy: It's not exactly typical of him Rio: I know Rio: I know it's weird, like I am aware Rio: but it just is, you know Nancy: I understand Nancy: You want what you want Nancy: You can't unwant it 'cause someone else tells you to or isn't happy about it Nancy: You shouldn't have to Nancy: You literally don't have to, like Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much Rio: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologize Nancy: I couldn't just not be gay when I was getting bullied for it Nancy: I'm glad I don't like boys, believe me Nancy: Buster's the happiest he's ever been, you did that. So don't be sorry Rio: I didn't mean for any of this to happen Rio: to like him, I just did Rio: but I can't live an apology when I don't feel it anymore Nancy: I know Nancy: You love each other, you don't get to control that Nancy: And its a good thing, even when it doesn't feel like it Nancy: Who wants to be alone? To fight against what they want? Nancy: You're happy so be it Rio: Thanks, Nance Rio: You know we love you too Nancy: I know you do Nancy: Jury's still out on him Rio: Nah Rio: He does Nancy: Today maybe Nancy: 'Cause I'm not gonna tell mum and ruin his life Rio: Least wait 'til we're outta the country Rio: wouldn't put it past her to get us on the no-fly list Nancy: I'm gonna let her see all his bragging on the socials instead Nancy: More fun that way Nancy: "Your classroom looks suspiciously tropical, Buster" Nancy: While Dad just hits him with "Cool pic" Rio: 😂 Rio: Gonna laugh whilst I can Nancy: Me too Nancy: On the plus side, I think you've taken the heat off me at least until I graduate, so thanks Rio: Easy Rio: if I live to cause more turmoil you're very welcome Rio: what are the hated daughter-in-laws for after-all Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Oh honey, once you're married in you're gonna wish she hated you Nancy: She's gonna get so invested in your life Nancy: Can't have you ruining his, after all Rio: I'll take it Rio: Didn't stick around for career's advice and I could do worse, like Nancy: True Nancy: I'm just basking in the joy of knowing it literally doesn't matter who I bring home Nancy: Oh the freedom Rio: 😏 Rio: Charming Nancy: You know what I mean Nancy: I could be fucking my therapist and it'd be sidelined by this Rio: Well Rio: are you Nancy: Gross Nancy: No Rio: That's alright then Nancy: But she constantly says I need to be single for a while, so she clearly wants me for herself Rio: Deffo Nancy: Like, excuse you, Diane, I've been single for 18 years near enough Nancy: 1 girlfriend, honey, we've talked about it, get with the program Rio: Basically a nun Rio: out here calling you a dirty jezzie Nancy: Yeah, I know Nancy: Thank god you're giving me time to find a date for the other wedding Nancy: Clearly I'll need it, or a new therapist Rio: If you're moving Diane in, then yeah Rio: Unprofessional Nancy: Lord Nancy: She is so not the one Nancy: I think I hate her? Is that meant to be a thing? Rio: Probably Rio: You're stubborn and she's essentially telling you what to do Nancy: It's even worse Nancy: She makes me tell myself 🙄 Rio: Yeah Rio: Smug, init Nancy: It really is Nancy: Ugh enough about me Nancy: When are you going? What are you wearing? Rio: Brazil Rio: and Christ knows, oddly I don't have a wedding dress just hanging about Rio: I'll find one there, I guess Nancy: The question was when, he told me where but he hadn't got that far Nancy: I think he thinks you're gonna call it off unless you've made it to the actual plane Nancy: Just don't get married in a white bikini, yeah? Rio: Oh, my bad Rio: Head is truly all over the place Rio: Well, I am that tacky Nancy: 😲 take that back right now Nancy: You are not Nancy: This isn't the mindset Rio: Do you wanna like, moodboard my shotgun wedding for me? 😂 Rio: That's what I'm hearing here Nancy: UM YES Nancy: Get some Chanel and YSL involved, like Rio: Noted Rio: Whether that's the old or new depends how skint we're feeling once we're there, clearly Nancy: It's got to be classic or I'm disowning you Nancy: I'll allow you to save the real designer labels for the big day, bit of Vera or whoever but I can only budge so far, sorry Nancy: The silhouette is still everything even if he's the only one seeing it Rio: 😂 Rio: That's what I'm saying, stick with the bikini Rio: He'll be blown away Nancy: 🙄🙄 Nancy: That's so disgustingly true as well Nancy: Men Rio: Oh please Rio: Like you wouldn't wanna see your wifey like that Nancy: I'm not getting married ever but if I did, that woman better dress up for me Nancy: Whole 9 yards Nancy: Did you see my mother's wedding dress? Iconic Rio: Hmm Rio: Maybe you're right Rio: Great, now I gotta stress about that Rio: Thanks bitch 😜 Nancy: I would say sorry but I'm not Nancy: You can wear a bikini any time, you'll be going for like a week + Nancy: Besides, he's the kind of boy who actually appreciates clothes Nancy: Labels anyway Rio: I blame you entirely Nancy: Not sorry, again Rio: You can explain my sudden cold feet to him then Nancy: Gladly Nancy: Me and him haven't argued in so long Rio: 😑 Nancy: It would get something back to normal, that's all I'm saying Rio: Who wants normal? Nancy: Um Nancy: Me Rio: Nah Rio: Only 'cos you ain't had it Rio: No fun, trust Nancy: Alright, Diane 2.0 😏 Rio: Don't get ideas Rio: I know you love me but Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Are we gonna have time to do a hen before you go or are you literally flying out when you close this convo? Rio: Who? Me, you and Indie Rio: That would be interesting Nancy: Well, just me and you then Rio: I don't actually know, I'll have to check Rio: I know we were planning for asap but might've given himself a day to pack Rio: you know how it is Nancy: Tell him he can come to the spa too, he'll make time for that Rio: Yeah? Rio: Alright, prep us for the long ass flight Nancy: He loves a facial as much as I do, more probably Nancy: Not to mention a massage Rio: 😏 Rio: Know I'm meant to be mature and everything but Rio: lmao Nancy: DO NOT Nancy: So gross Rio: You said it! Rio: I can't help that Nancy: And you know exactly how I meant it 😒 Nancy: Just 'cause neither of us should be in white dresses no need to disgust me, thanks Rio: 😂 Rio: I'm not sorry Nancy: Well, please change your mind on that Nancy: 'Cause I'm too gay and too related for this, like Rio: That doesn't work getting you out of family functions, it's not gonna work now, babe Nancy: So mean Nancy: Okay fine I'm too single for this Rio: Aww Rio: I don't think we should go to that kinda spa Rio: too weird even for me Nancy: Oh god Nancy: 🙈🙉 Rio: What are hen parties for? Rio: I see why you're so keen now Nancy: I've never been to one Nancy: Thankfully Ro didn't get that far Rio: Shame Rio: I'd have loved to get her a stripper Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Librarian or something Rio: Sexy Rio: Drew probably would've done it Rio: the actual horror Nancy: I just choked on my coffee Nancy: and I'm this close to throwing up Nancy: But it's helped me think of the best stripper for her Nancy: Jesus himself Nancy: Sexily removes crown of thorns Rio: STOP Rio: Nothing hotter than blasphemy Nancy: I WISH I COULD Nancy: Help me actual Jesus Rio: He ain't gon' save you now Rio: fully looking the other way Nancy: Turning that chiseled jaw line 💔 Rio: Gutted Rio: Yeah, you gay, but you're a fellow ginge Rio: no loyalty Nancy: No way he was ginger Nancy: Or that he looked as much like a woman as he does in the art Rio: You should be living for femme Jesus Nancy: I didn't say I wasn't Nancy: Just that it's unlikely Rio: If you wanna chat theology, hit up your auntie fr Nancy: No thanks Nancy: I've done enough babysitting of them both recently Rio: Fun Rio: I just can't wait for the 2 month update when she tells us about all the things Astrid can do Rio: like, blink, cry, shit Nancy: Don't Nancy: There'll be a newsletter Nancy: Why do you think I wanna come to brazil? I'm planning to stay away until the christening is a distant memory Nancy: She's been planning it since before the baby came out, I swear Rio: Gotta get into heaven, mama Rio: the christening dress, good lord Rio: at least she's a girl, the poor baby boys Nancy: Right? Nancy: She wants to approve my outfit too Nancy: Excuse me, who am I? When have I ever made a faux pas Rio: 😂 Unlucky Rio: No showing your knees in church, bitch Nancy: 😒 Nancy: Poor Diane, it's all she's heard about 'cause I'm furious Nancy: Like, I'm not even joking I've had to send her links of what I'm going buy and she's said no to several looks Rio: The cheek Rio: you can't dress code a christening Nancy: Do you see Buster sending her pics of suits, no you do not Nancy: Golden boy could turn up topless in speedos and she wouldn't care Rio: Fresh from Ipanema Rio: She's gonna be 💔 about this wedding forreal Nancy: At least her and mum can bond over it Nancy: Break their silence Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Yeah? Rio: I knew my mum said it'd been pretty quiet Nancy: Better than them screaming at each other Nancy: Astrid doesn't need that Rio: I guess Rio: Was never going to be a joyous time was it Nancy: Not really Nancy: I don't blame you for wanting to leave Rio: Not like I'm allowed 'round that drama anyway Rio: got enough, still Nancy: Yeah Rio: Ah well Nancy: Feel free to join me in therapy Nancy: Buster won't Rio: You're good Rio: Wouldn't know where to begin, like Nancy: It's not as if I did either Nancy: I still don't Rio: Does it help? Nancy: I don't know Nancy: It doesn't, not help, if that makes sense Nancy: Like, I don't feel any worse Nancy: So maybe? Rio: It ain't hurting at least Nancy: Yeah Nancy: And I'll take that Nancy: It's weirdly nice to have someone to talk to, who's not too busy to really listen Rio: Yeah Rio: It makes sense Rio: and someone who odds on has a chance of knowing what they're chatting Nancy: It does make you feel less crazy when they don't look at you like 😲😲😲 Rio: Can't teach that poker face in Psych 101 Nancy: I thought I had a good one but she's taken it well and truly up a notch Rio: I think about the bad things too much as is though, never mind setting aside time for that shit Nancy: Me too Nancy: I could not feel more self indulgent, believe me Rio: Nah Rio: I think it's a good thing Rio: I just don't want to Nancy: I get it Nancy: Most days I don't want to, still Nancy: If she'd just let me text her I'd never go, like Rio: You just want her personal number, babe Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I told you, she's not the one Rio: Whatever you say, honey Nancy: Shush, bitch Rio: 😂 Nancy: I've text my brother about the spa, if I don't hear back I'll assume he's already got you in the air Nancy: Or, you know, he's being a prick Rio: 👍 Rio: I'll confirm either with a plane selfie Rio: or lack of, obvs Rio: Can you like Rio: just keep an eye on Indie when we are gone Rio: you don't have to do anything but she was a bit gutted so Rio: Everyone else will be too but yeah Nancy: Sure Nancy: Do you want me to text you updates spy style or do you want blissful ignorance? Rio: Put it this way Rio: Unless it's an emergency I can sort from Brazil Rio: I don't really want disturbing Rio: but you know the drill actual, keep an eye, tell the olders if she needs nagging into coming home for tea Nancy: Gross but fair Nancy: Okay Rio: Come on Rio: It's my honeymoon, what do you think gonna happen Nancy: I know what will I just don't need to think about my brother being the one doing it to you or with you Nancy: Thanks Rio: Don't be blowing up my phone then babe 😘 Nancy: You wish Rio: You know Rio: Forever holding out hope Nancy: It's fine, we don't need to make it competitive, I'm better Rio: 😂 Rio: That's the spirit Nancy: It's less of a brag more of a fact, really Nancy: Not saying you should dump him and marry me but Rio: Well if that's not what you're saying, why are you saying it at all? Nancy: I'm just saying if you did you know you wouldn't regret it, babe 😏 Rio: I would when you leave me high n dry and 💔 Nancy: Rude Nancy: I would never Rio: Sure 😏 Rio: Say that now Nancy: You're breaking my heart now! The love is real Rio: What can I say? Rio: Can't even hypothetically do him like that Nancy: So cute Rio: Yeah yeah Nancy: I better text him again to find out what he's planning to wear Nancy: Be awkward now if he didn't put the effort in, like Rio: You can bond over it Rio: you 🤓s Nancy: Like you're too cool to care, yeah? Nancy: You love to look good, too Rio: This? Rio: So effortless, naturally Nancy: You can fool him with that, but not me Rio: Rude Nancy: Now you know how the slander feels Nancy: I'm off to cry over the one that got away, obviously 😏 Nancy: Doubting my devotion Rio: Now I know why I don't go out with women Rio: fuck you knowing all my secrets, no thanks Rio: but okay then, see you getting a facial or not 😜 Nancy: Nobody knows all mine Nancy: Work on your excuses for why we can't be together before I see you next, yeah? Rio: Diane's working on it Nancy: She wishes Nancy: I'm not planning on seeing her every week for the rest of my life Rio: 💔 Nancy: That's my reputation, amongst other things so Rio: Gotta keep up appearances, babe Rio: Lord knows we're letting the side down Nancy: Anything for you, my love Rio: 💘 Nancy: You can invite Indie to the spa too, I promise not to seduce her in the sauna or anything Rio: I should hope the fuck not Rio: Not just jealousy talking Nancy: I should hope not Nancy: But I just mean, don't not invite her on my account, you know Rio: Of course Rio: I dunno what she'd make of it but I'll defs invite her Nancy: We might make a convert of her Nancy: The gay agenda Rio: Truly Rio: I just hope your brother is bringing back food she can eat Nancy: He's lived with you guys long enough Nancy: Must have a clue by now Nancy: I know he's a man but he's one with a brain Rio: And tastes that range beyond Maccas but Rio: he does his best, bless him Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I won't tell him if you don't Nancy: Big enough head, like Rio: That I can manage to keep from him, like Rio: Probably Nancy: You went from definitely to maybe so fast I didn't even get to challenge it Nancy: Disgustingly cute Rio: Progress from just plain disgusting Rio: I'll take it Nancy: I mean, you'll always be in hetero hell but Rio: 😏 Rio: I promise, it's not that bad Nancy: um okay sure Nancy: Unlikely story Rio: 😂 Rio: Not gonna make you try it, it's alright Nancy: You couldn't Nancy: We're over the age of sitting around getting dared to kiss Rio: Sure, you're saying that tonight Nancy: I'm saying that every night if you're offering me a man Rio: Suit yaself, butch Nancy: I will Nancy: Your taste is questionable, babe Nancy: Buster McKenna, of all people Rio: I've done considerably worse but that makes the bit less funny so Rio: go off Nancy: Thanks for letting me have my moment there Rio: Gotta get that best man material out somehow Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Am I gonna have to make a speech? Rio: Say what you like Rio: your brother would never hate you that much Nancy: I'll take that Rio: Though if you get pissed Rio: no stopping you Nancy: 🤐 Rio: I hope so, bitch Nancy: I'll have a date to impress/behave for, won't I? So Rio: Good luck 'cos doubt the rest will be on same orders Rio: dread to think 🙄 Nancy: Lord, don't put off the fictional lady before I've even properly thought her up Rio: My bad, my bad Rio: we're all totally sane and respectable Nancy: The numbers alone is intimidating without having to consider any of the personalities attached Nancy: Actually gonna die alone Rio: Not saying keeping it in the family is the way forward but at least I don't have to introduce him Nancy: I just loled Nancy: Won't be explaining that one to my barista Nancy: No offense Rio: Sure the town's already said it's piece on this one Nancy: Undoubtedly Nancy: School is even more fun now, like Rio: Soz Nancy: You really sound it, babe Nancy: I don't care, its not as if I have friends here anyway Nancy: Other than in the family Rio: Well, they'll find a reason to chat shit on us regardless Rio: Always have Nancy: Yeah Nancy: It's no different from my old school other than the accents they use when they slag you off Rio: Basically Rio: It's all the same shit Rio: why you think I left Nancy: I hope that wasn't the only reason Rio: Well no Rio: 'Course not Rio: There was just no reason to be there Nancy: Like Chlo Nancy: Did Buster tell you she left? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm not secretly pregnant with a baby that's taking it's time though Rio: just FYI Nancy: Me either Nancy: I only kissed her, I swear Nancy: He must be so relieved she's gone though Rio: Yeah, seriously Nancy: I can't believe her and James haven't broken up yet Nancy: I bet he's glad he doesn't have to see as much of her too Rio: Must be a record, right? Rio: Way they all bedhop Rio: Be gladder when the baby's here and he ain't tied to it 24/7 Nancy: 100% they are both cheating Nancy: Well, if anyone will have them Rio: Probably a little hard to pull when you're clearly heavily preggo Nancy: I have no idea how far along she even is Nancy: But the morals in that friendship circle, it wouldn't surprise me if his friends were still hooking up with her Rio: I'm not totally sure myself Rio: bit over half way, I feel? Rio: It's actually gross Rio: like we've all had crossovers but never on purpose like Rio: it's like a weird badge of honour or something idk Rio: posh people love swinging, facts Nancy: But you two are the ones being incestuous, okay Nancy: Everything they do is way grosser Nancy: Buster is well out of it, so thanks Rio: If nothing else Rio: Stopped the likes of Millie Tillie being your sis in law Nancy: Yeah Nancy: He could've been the one having a baby with Chloe Nancy: Imagine Nancy: But don't, 'cause NO Rio: Easily Rio: I try not to, yeah Nancy: Making myself shudder in public Nancy: Thank god he isn't that stupid Rio: She didn't really give him a choice either way Rio: you know he was out of it Nancy: Obviously, but he would have used a condom though that's like muscle memory to him at this point the amount of girls he's been with Rio: If it were that simple no one'd be getting pregnant, babe Nancy: None of his conquests have Nancy: I'll give him that Rio: Shh Rio: Harshing my vibe, babe Nancy: Sorry Rio: S'all good Nancy: You seem happy Nancy: All things considered Rio: I am Rio: with him, like Nancy: And he is too Nancy: I know Rio: Good Rio: What more can I ask for, like Nancy: I'm sorry if I was being a judgey bitch before Nancy: I'm not trying to channel my auntie, honestly Rio: You weren't Rio: like, you were but in a valid way considering Nancy: I'm just trying to look out for you both Nancy: It's weird in the middle Nancy: I know if it was me instead of you, you would too Nancy: But I can't stand in the way, I know that Nancy: And I don't really want to if it's what you both want Nancy: Which obviously Rio: I know that, I swear Rio: You haven't done anything I wouldn't Rio: There's no way to prove this is the right thing but time so Nancy: You'd go way harder than me Nancy: But yeah Rio: Taking it as a compliment Rio: regardless of how it was intended Nancy: It was meant as one Nancy: You're a bad bitch, you know I love that about you Rio: 💘 Rio: You know how to win me 'round Nancy: I'd hope so Nancy: I've been around you long enough Rio: Yeah, no one's accusing me of being mysterious Nancy: Me either, don't worry Rio: Oh to be afforded the luxury Nancy: Let's call it overrated Rio: Seems like a suitably bad bitch thing to do Rio: I'm alright w it Nancy: Good to know Nancy: 'Cause it's a thing now Nancy: We're running with it Rio: Oh, Buster's back Nancy: Tell the prick to text me back Rio: Will do, I'll direct quote you Rio: Better go though, don't wanna let my food go cold Nancy: Thanks Nancy: Yeah sure that's the reason Nancy: I'm gay not blind Rio: You said it, sister 😍 Nancy: I'm not saying he's hot, I'm saying you think so Nancy: Before you go there Nancy: Anyway go Rio: 💋

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relatewithrelations · 5 years

Text

Throw Back - An Honest Assessment

This past weekend I had to whip together a paper to complete my study abroad credit required for my major. Essentially they want Global Studies students to explain how studying abroad being required for our major helps us in the long run.

The main prompts were :

How and why did you choose your program location?

Did you also complete your Global Studies internship while you were studying abroad?

Please review your study abroad learning goals with me. To what extent did you manage to achieve these goals?

What were some strategies that you used to adjust to the culture of [study abroad host country]? Did you find that you had to adapt or develop new skills in your academic, personal, or professional life?

Do you have any advice for other students preparing to study abroad?

Now that you have returned, what do you want to do with the experiences you had while studying abroad? Has studying abroad changed your personal worldview

I realized while writing this paper, 2 hours after it was due, that there were two points missing. The first being honesty, because there’s a lot of things that I left out due to this being an academic paper. The second is that it was impersonal to my journey abroad. I realized that I often talk about “being gone” but the average person has no idea where I went. So for post 3 I guess it’s time to start over, and be honest. This is going to broken up into a summary of what I was doing abroad and then my most asked questions.

Summary

Between June 2018 through December 2018 I was gifted with the opportunity to work and study in the beautiful country of Spain. And when I say gifted, I mean I worked my actual butt off and had about 32 mental breakdowns to go to Spain. I find the idea that I have to grateful for some “divine right” of being given a visa kind of ridiculous. As I was the one that found the job and school program. I was also the one that filled out all the paper work, found my apartment, and acheived the required grades and work experience. But I guess I was lucky my plane didn’t crash and I made it there so I’m blessed but I digress. I spent the first 3 months in the hustle and bustle of Madrid which I followed with 4 months in the serenity of Sevilla.

As a quick over view, I had 5 main goals while working and, eventually, studying abroad:

Learning general business management skills

Gain experience in online marketing

Gain experience working with multicultural clients and leads

Develop an understanding of Spanish business culture and operational practices

Further develop language skills - specifically by working and living in Spanish

More or less I was able to achieve these goals by doing the simple thing of showing up. I went to work every day and put myself out there to meet new people. My boss allowed me to work on a case load basis. This meant my schedule depended on how efficiently I worked. This is the best type of work for me because I like to power through a few days with long hours and then have more time free. I’m, by nature, an efficient person and prefer to work smarter not harder. Along with that being able to work with a small start-up meant that I was very hands on within the company from day one. I was able to build and execute full campaigns and services while most interns got coffee. This made my experience unique and I enjoyed every minute. I had a lot of very different and amazing days at work. My most memorable day was when we got to visit the headquarters for Santander. If you’ve spent any time with me in person I’ve probably mentioned this HQ many times. It is a whole self sustaining ecosystem within the name of headquarters. There was a hotel for guests, a water park, soccer stadium, golf course, full conference center, and loads of self sustaining buildings for the workers. Honestly, I’m awestruck thinking about it.

After my whirlwind summer in Madrid I moved to Sevilla, which is in the southern-most autonomous community of Spain. Ill plop a map below to show where I lived and I’ll star other places I’ve been to or visited. Sevilla is the hottest city in Europe and did not let down on this claim. I would say nearly the entirety of the first month or so maintained a steady 100 degrees. This was one of the reasons I actually chose Sevilla when looking for a place to study. I was taking 3 classes at El Universidad de Pablo de Olavide and 2 courses within my program house at CEA. IT was pretty cool being able to go to school with actual Spaniards. My only complaint being I never actually interacted with them. The greatest downfall of this trip is that my university went to great lengths to alienate the Americans from other students. I don’t know why they did this, but had I known I would’ve gone to the other university option.

In reality, Sevilla wasn’t my favorite place on earth. It wasn’t anything against the city in general, because it was beautiful and the people were kind. I’m a city girl deep down and 200k people isn’t enough for me, especially after being in a place as big as Madrid beforehand. But the biggest experience in Sevilla was actually how often I left. In my time abroad I visited 9 other countries besides Spain and 7 other cities in Spain. I was bouncing around almost every single weekend of my time studying. It was tiring and by the end I was so sick that one of my first visits once back in the USA was Urgent Care. I know, poor me getting sick because I went to too many countries. It is something to consider though. The human body isn't made to be on a plane 3 out of 7 days a week for 4 months straight. I hit most of the continent and one country in Africa so I’m 4 continents down and 3 to go (I think I see Asia in my near future). I know I would’ve enjoyed Sevilla more had I given it the chance, but I didn’t have the time. There's also the chance had I done the reverse order of trips I would've liked Sevilla more. It also would've meant my entire experience would be different. I needed to be in the places I was at the times I was there because that’s what was written for me. Someday I’ll be back Sevilla, I promise. NODO is written on my heart forever.

Questions

How did I choose Spain?

It was pretty simple to be honest. I knew that I wanted to go to Europe because one of the biggest points to studying abroad is that ability to travel while abroad. By choosing Europe I would have that opportunity because traveling is cheap and every country is so different. I also knew that I wanted to study in a country where I could practice my second language skills. Once I decided Spain was where I wanted to go, I needed to find which city in Spain I wanted to go to. There were four options for Spain through my business program: Madrid, Barcelona, Sevilla, or Granada. I knew that I didn’t want to go to Madrid or Barcelona because I had already lived there at some point. This made the final two choices either Sevilla or Granada. Really the deciding factor was that Sevilla offered an excursion to Morocco. Having that extra excursion was so enticing I couldn’t miss the opportunity to say I was in Africa.

How did you adjust? / Weren’t you nervous about being alone?

These two question kind of tie hand in hand. I believe this because no matter how a person words these two questions what they’re trying to say is “I’m too scared to do this so why are you different?”. A few years ago I was listening to a Simon Sinek talk about performance under pressure (I’ll link it below). He made an interesting point to how every Olympic athlete is asked whether they were nervous. What's interesting is that they all say “no I’m excited”. The human’s reaction to the fear and excitement is exactly the same and it’s all in how you interpret them. I have been working ever since hearing that to tell myself that "no I’m excited" when I start to feel fear bubble up. But if that doesn’t work, I say ‘ok I’m scared’ and then I do it anyway. Everyone fears the unknown, but great adventurer embrace that and go anyway. I want to be a great adventurer so I venture on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBF9xXhSFRc

Second, my lack of fear about moving far away is a direct correspondence to how my parents raised me. When my mom was 18 years old, she packed up all her stuff and moved 2,930 miles to Milwaukee, Wisconsin from Honduras. Then many summers later, my parents packed up all my stuff and shipped my brother and I 2930 miles back to Honduras. We weren’t raised to be afraid of not being home. Home is where I am. This mind set means I’m pretty much comfortable wherever my feet land. I know that if I am comfortable with myself, I will be safe in my environment. That is something I thank my parents for instilling in me everyday.

Now when it comes to adjusting, everyone handles it different. Most people in my program were very into the “I’m an American, and if you dont like it you can get out…oh wait…well yeehaw anyway”. That’s not my style. I try to completely immerse myself wherever I am. Even if it was for a weekend. I did have the advantage that I had already lived in Spain 2 years prior as an Au pair. I had a general idea of what everything was going to be like and was already used to the culture. But I had the MAJOR advantage of, for the first time in my life, I looked like the people I was surrounded by. I didn’t stick out as someone who was super different once I got over the different style choices. I mainly had to worry about adapting in my personal and professional life. The relationships in Spain between people are different, more personal, and it is very easy to know a lot about the people you surround yourself with. Even at work, I knew my superiors in a more informal life than I would ever know an American boss. Friends and family often live close to each other so it’s common to see them a few times a week as opposed to a few times a month. Personal space doesn’t exist in Spain. In both the literal fact that Spaniards are always touching each other. But also in the fact that they know a lot about the people they associate with. I had to work hard to break out of my shell in order to assimilate to their close knit society.

My second way of adjusting was that during my time in Madrid, I had 0 American friends. If I even heard an American accent I would turn the other way and walk out. It sounds harsh but it’s true. If you want to assimilate to a new society you can’t be by the norms of your own. My two closest friends spoke English fluently, but most of the other people in my life spoke English as a second language or not at all. You are forced to adjust when you aren’t given a choice. Advice my mom gave me once was, “go on lots of dates, but dont date anyone”. It sounds weird but that was super helpful. I’m not ashamed to admit I went on dates during my time abroad, and it was never with Americans. There is no better time to practice your second language than when you’re trying to impress someone. The most important part of a relationship is communication so I had to be on my toes. I was also able to see what dating culture was like in another country, which is super fascinating. Interacting with only Spaniards and a few other people from other European cultures also made me a better person. It helped me see how others viewed America and why. Many times I was able to dispel stereotypes or rumors, but sometimes I had to face the fact oh wait that is true. It’s not always fun, but I do know I’m more aware of my actions now because of it.

Finally, if you want to adjust somewhere new, do some research! I watched so many kids in my program struggle with simple things that could be solved by typing ‘Spain’ into google. I did some research before moving to Madrid and Sevilla about what the culture was like there. I tried to adjust myself to their eating style and life time tables prior to moving. It's the smallest things that make the biggest impact. Already adjusting to things like eating at 10pm meant that it was easier for me to meet people right away.

What advice do I have?

I get asked a lot if I have advice for people interested in traveling or studying abroad. It’s a weird question because I definitely do, but it’s not like you’re actually going to listen. My biggest advice is that if you’re going to do anything in life be all in. Don’t go abroad to hang out with American’s every day and do everything you do in the USA, that’s a waste of your time and money. It’s also disrespectful to the people you’re living around. I will never understand the people that never even tried to make Spanish friends or do anything within Spanish culture. Why did you even come?

My second piece of advice is fall in love. No, I don’t mean with your soulmate and get married type of fall in love. I mean fall in love with where you are and where you live. Fall in love with the nuances of everything surrounding you. Fall in love with who you were yesterday, who you are now, and who you will be tomorrow. Fall in love with the friends that come into your life and why they’re important. Fall in love with the fact you aren't home. Fall in love with fear. If you want a great experience you have to strive for it. You have to know that not every day is going to be sunshine and rainbows and love that.

Finally, be knowledgable. The saying goes “no one likes a know-it-all”, but I’m suspicious of how many people enjoy incompetence too much. Being knowledgable about something isn’t lame or weird. It’s actually helpful and I hate this stigma of “oh I’ll wing it”. You waste a lot of time and energy doing that when simple preparation could’ve been done. The amount of times I seemed like a PhD historian because I had bothered to look up what a castle was or where a good place to eat was is unbelievable. I’m not crazy smart, and I dont have a photographic memory. I have access to a smartphone and use it to be smart. Shocking. So be intelligent. Look things up. Know what’s going on even if it’s the basics. I rather be a know it all that understands my surroundings than someone who has to rely on others. You need to learn how to survive on your own if you want to be an adult. Google is an amazing service you can use. Be open to learning new thing and meeting new people. It’s okay to think something is better somewhere else besides the usa. It doesn’t make you unpatriotic, it actually makes you a better citizen.

Enjoy this pic of my amazing roommates:

#blog #weekly thoughts #spain #study abroad #faq #summary #abroad #internship #long post #throwback

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