#it feels like theres no good left in the world

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33

i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute

anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am

vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!

william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)

i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!

dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?

also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else

#very tempted to add a thing about the greats to vyncents section but i am not going to #anyway do u think it was weird for him to have the people he idolized in his brain. they knew things he thought #they felt things he felt they probably talked about it its no wormnder he keeps his emotions close to his chest etc etc etc #anyway. #im projecting a little bit on all of these can you tell. dont take any of this as canon i am fully like. #oh boy how can i put aspects of my godawful mental health practices on my favorite little superhero teens. #especially ashe be he has not a whole lot of canon basis . sorry ashe you get my emotion switch #asks #intertexts #friends!!! #jrwi pd #um!!! sorry i went off on the second william paragraph i think about the early stages of him gaining his powes a lot. #its the danny phantom in me #also that last sentence was especially mean of me sorry. i did yhat on purpose :) i love to be evil #OKAY. im going to bed for real now. i had 2 get this out of my system before i slept on it and forgot all the thoughts fresh in my mind

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[moonpaw]

Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!

come here cyber.... we have this thang

‎

#mp answers #i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏 #if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is #an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it #the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues #to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane #if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on #from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless #there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second #saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later #even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like #it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!) #it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters #and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!! #it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others! #its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man #of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and #im going to EXPLODE i love one piece

[samarecharm]

i love makoto so much but fanon does her so much better (the good parts of the fandom) because in the game her character is so lack luster. they butchered her confidant it is so borning and not even about her. they made her a cop. A COP. they pushed this "canon waifu" role onto her (before sumire came along and did it Even Worse). and it SUCKS because SHE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! SHE IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! SHE COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER!!! the way i feel about canon makoto is the same way i feel about the canon ryuji events post komoshida where he's horribly mistreated and used purely as comic relief: i ignore them <3 my game now <3 never happened <3 my ocs <3

You are so right. I generally apply this to all characters in p5 bc the game does such a shit job of staying consistent with character arcs and personalities. Theres a desperate need to throw in perverse jokes at the expense of female characters and a need to show that the police (as a whole) are reliable people who are not influenced by things like money and power; only the BAD cops do that. Not to mention this obvious fatphobia and homophobia but i feel likes thats a given.

But back to Makoto. Shes a victim of bad writing just like everyone else. Ryuji during the kamoshida arc was fighting with self loathing and genuine anxiety, and aside from the like. One comment on Panthers outfit in the metaverse, hes more than well behaved. All of that is shelved as soon as Kamoshida is gone and replaced with him being weird comic relief (and the focus of alot of sexual jokes that were nonexistent in the beginning of the game). Anns arc about self love and empowerment is completely dropped as soon as the nasty bad guy is put away (so that its good to be weird about her w the Good Guys). Makoto loses her a chunk of her personality to be the mature waifu which is INSANE to me bc shes like. Not okay or normal at all 😭😭😭 she THINKS shes responsible and so does everyone else on her team, but its an act! She doesnt know shit! And she doesnt know that she doesnt know shit bc shes respectful and adults dont care about anything as long as u respect them!

Its very telling that for literally every single thief (and goro), you can see the exact moment the writers gave up on adding anything of worth to their characters outside of the social links. Its like they didnt know what to even do w the characters at their disposal after their main arcs were complete. No mention of friends hanging out without you, no mention of having group hangouts. Everyone is treated as a core, important member of the friend group DURING their arc, but outside of it, they are acquaintances at best. Theres nothing in the game that convinces you that these guys are legitimately friends who care for each other and do Friend Things. And i describe it like that bc there IS a game that treats them all as friends, and its strikers! Strikers/Scramble genuinely feels like the game p5 wanted to be; a road trip w your team where they stay up at night talking to each other and hanging out and doing things together that dont necessarily include you, the player. Its refreshing and lovely but it sucks that u get that kind of attention to detail in a ‘spinoff’ title

#chattin #i hesitate to use spinoff bc its a pretty big game #and theres an amazing plot with wonderful characterization #and their handling of jails and jail owners is LEAGUES better than the bs they tried to make up w palace users #and all the thieves feel like family. and not in the annoying fandom way; like #were family in the same way a family is forged and tended to. i love you. no one is left behind. no one is made to feel inferior another #its really good and honestly if u want more interactions between everyone i really recommend a playthrough #but yeah #p5 sucks #i love it but i love the version of it i made in my head LMAO #maybe p5r did a better job w the dialogue and some questionable scenes #(i wouldnt know. i didnt play it lol) #so maybe thats what people need to be using as a point of reference #but i only plyed p5 so this is what i have; a group of people who show up for meetings and then go about their life #and that kinda sucks. why make this wholly unique experience in which these teens can only relate to each other #make them bonded over their shared experience w this unbelievable world #and then not only make them NOT interact; but have the end be ‘okay by akira.’ and leave it at that #they just. didnt know what to do w anyone #they needed their girls to be waifubait and the boys to be an afterthought #they needed a buffet of older woman for pathetic men to fuck through their self insert #and they needed a story convoluted enough to keep people stuck trying to figure it out themselves #its bad. its so bad. its so fucking bad. but i have to be here. WE have to be here. #bc who else is going to take these characters out of hell and treat them right ??!!!

[snekdood]

random and unnecessary bloodshed towards minorities is good when its my side advocating for it

-tankies

#someone on youtube was literally like 'bloodshed is normal to happen' in regards to trump winning over not voting for biden #dawg??????? you're a straight up fascist telling yourself you're a leftist. thats all there is to you. #'killing thousands of innocents is fine as long as i get to larp about my perfect utopia' shut the fuck up and step the fuck down #you should never be trusted with power in your LIFE #i repeat: id rather be fighting for a better world while theres still some amount of peace left vs while its ACTIVELY BLOWING UP #i kinda just feel like thats a very unproductive environment and everyones gonna give more of a fuck about their personal survival #than about making society better. at this point i cant help but think you're a psyop if you're like this. #'minorities dying in the streets bc i decided accelerationism is better? no biggie. this is what ive trained my apathy for! for this very #moment! so that i may finally seize power for myself- i mean justice and make the world how i want it- i mean make the world a #better place and not feel bad about the lives lost at all!!!!!! !! ! #numbing yourself from all empathy and love for other humans is good guys i swear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!' #at this point im no longer desperately pleading for any of you to give a single fucking shit. now im just disappointed and ultimately #fucking DISGUSTED with the type of people you are. what a disgrace to humanity.

[joleneghoul]

i am in my feelings about Bonnie Baxter says the first person ever.

#im thinking about how she from a young age has been the one who has to care for her little brother and how so often shes overlooked and how- #-when she saw the post apocalyptic world she saw the few people who kept books safe and said this world is still good #bonnie like jeff is one of those characters who after time masters. despite her having more apperances and from my understanding a cameo in #-lot she isnt really remembered much. shes an opposing force to rip despite being on his side and i really like that a lot. she holds more #trust and hope in people than rip does and thats a good thing. UGH. #i feel like each time masters character kinda really represents something thats hard to explain but theres a reason that each of them at- #-the end are left in a different time. rip the past. jeff the present. bonnie the future.

[nyelaexe]

One thing I will always appreciate about my mom is that she never judged me for my hyperfixations through the years. She gave me room to love whatever I wanted to. She never made fun and she never thought I was weird. She always supported me and, in fact, she even enjoyed them with me.

She'd watch One Direction music videos with me when I was a teenager. She even took me to see the 1D movie in theaters on a school day and she saved her movie ticket. I hate that I wasn't able to find it when we cleaned out her apartment. I remember her crying at the party where Zayn bought his mom a house. To this day she would listen to History. She sent me a link to the mv in August and reminisced on the days when life was easier.

In my later teenage to young adult years she would watch kpop videos with me. We would watch BTS and Astro videos in her room. I remember after Jonghyun passed away I watched Before Our Spring for the first time with her because I was too sad to watch in on my own. She ended up really liking BTS and she'd call me into her room whenever they were on TV. I have videos of her in my phone dancing to Move by Taemin.

We'd even watch anime together. We watched about 7 or 8 episodes of Death Parade and she really liked it. I didn't think she really cared all that much but every now and again she would bring the show up and tell me how much she like it. I hate that we were never able to finish all 12 episodes.

I always thought she'd pretend to be interested in my hobbies to humor me. Whenever I would go to her room and pull up kpop on the TV or watch Sohyang performances with her I would apologize and tell her "I know you don't really care, we don't have to watch if you don't want to." And she would always tell me to stop saying stuff like that. She was so happy to just hang out with me. She was interested in the things I like because I liked them and they made me happy. My brother would make little jokes about my interests from the time I was like 9 years old and obsessed with Justin Bieber. I know they were just jokes but, being a little black kid, I always felt weird about the media I consumed. My mom never made me feel like I was doing anything wrong by liking what I liked. I was able to explore all kinds of stuff and I'm so grateful to her.

#i miss her so much it feels like theres somwthing weighing on my chest #im miserable without her. shes just constantly on my mind all day everyday #she left such a gaping hole in my life. i dont know how im supposed to exist without her #i know that someday it wont hurt as much and ill have more good days than bad #and in a strange way i dont want those days to come. i cant imagine a time where i wake up and she isnt the first thing on my mind #or the last thing on my mind when i go to sleep #she was only 53 and she was so lively. she lived with stage 4 cancer for more than 5 years. she fought so hard #every doctors appointment every failed treatment every cat scan every blown vein every round of chemo over 200 lbs lost #she thought the world of me. she was so proud of me and i can never understand why #i didnt graduate i never went to college i dont work i dont leave my house i lie in bed all day and let my anxiety totally consume me #i dont know what she had to be proud of. but someday i want to be that person she was so proud of.

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

trying to explain to my parents that movies and television are an art form just like any other and just because you dont personally like a work or genre doesnt mean that it doesnt have value, and that you should occasionally think about the things you watch to either bring more personal enjoyment from its depth or understanding of its flaws

#sorry. was trying to explain mcuification of media to my dad and he replied #‘i dont like to watch things that make me feel like shit at the end. all those golden globe dramas and whatever. i just want a popcorn movie #like. what if i killed you. right now #i really couldnt give less of a shit if u wanna watch that. if you do thats fine like everyone likes an action movie without any depth once #in a while. but if the ONLY thing you ever consume is male power fantasies and explosions with no thought put into theme or character #to where youre watching essentially the same thing over and over how is that any better. how does THAT make you not feel like shit #i hate it. i hate media. i hate the state of the world where theres no genre media left its all the same action plot with the same ‘quippy #but can get down to business’ hero types who all have to have the same bland heterosexual romance so everyone is paired off and there are no #themes beyond ‘american military good’ like I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

[aro-aizawa]

sighs in contentment......

#shut up danni's talking #hi yes i always feel happy as FUCK when i read a v long fic but doubly so when i realise that i caught up before the end #i have spend idk how long maybe 4/5 days reading a 700k+ word fic #w only two more chapters left and i just. oh BOY #i cannot even begin to get into all the details i adore about this fic #and yes i am absolutely talking abt mortified #i spent the majority of the time listening to it via text to speech while playing mindless games #but when i got to the parts i hadn't read before (like the last 50 chaps i think) i had to give it my full attention #i just. there is so much i love. #it just adds so many aspects of world building that feels so right that its almost unnatural when i see things that goes against it #i just. #also theres no shortage of pride in there too bc wow 700k words in under a week? deffo good #HOWEVER my goal w listening to it rather than reading was hopefully something that'd take longer #considering how i read faster than it takes to speak things alas i'll have to wait for chapters again which is weird #i have been behind on it for so long #i have this mega word doc summarising the fic that i was working on to help me keep up w plot threads #and im not joking abt the mega its mammoth and i gave up in parts #i'll probs work on it as i reread it again at some point #its deffo smth i'm gonna share when its done bc i it is LONG and i know ppl don't have as much time as i do #but i want the opportunity for ppl to not balk at the size of the fic to not even attempt to read it #or if they want to read it but can only read a chapter a day so they'll need a reminder #one of the things i'll always be thankful for in fanfics is when ppl bookmark fics with a summary of the plot #its just. its reassuring to me to know vaguely what's going to happen #esp bc some plot elements will always instantly call to me #i can't begin to tell you how many fics i've ebbed and erred on but were ultimately swayed by bookmarkers' summaries #also i like to reread seconds of fics if i don't reread the whole thing #so knowing where those sections are located is v v helpful #anyways thats my lil fan project for mortified lol #always get a lil flustered when i interact w the author bc WOW the skill????? the dedication??? always a lil in awe #now to zone out and stare at my ceiling trying to process that masterpiece

[erwintiddies]

‘yeah im pretty into snk’ i say, actively avoiding anything that has to do with the 3 main characters

#literally everyone else is more interesting :| #im not tryna start anything im just voicing my shower thoughts #my old feelings toward eren were meh at best but once the atrocities started i was like oughhh i hate him now #something something the banality of evil or whatever. yeah we get it the world is cruel and you want to be free #but you are the cruelest man in the world and the most enslaved by hatred and selfish desire. boo. #mikasa i thought was boring and a product of female shonen character syndrome but i like her more than i used to #i have been waiting 4 seasons for her to become her own person and if that happens i think i could really love her #theres a lot riding on how her story ends though. i thought she was about to break free but then in the last episode shes like #am i to blame for my not-bf's insane genocidal rampage?? and im like girl PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU TO STOP #big sign that says **HADLAI THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK BUT DONT READ PAST THIS IF YOU DONT WANT 2 HEAR ME COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR BLORBO** #i used to like armin but his approval ratings have TANKED in season 4 #im tired of people acting like armin is some uwu innocent boy or has any sort of moral leg to stand on #part of that could be the weird infantilization and or feminization the fandom forces on him. but it is very much a narrative problem too #name one good thing he's done (other than saving falco) since levi resurrected him. he is in his flop era for real #where are the big brain plays we were promised. i cannot get over how STUPID he was to convince the 104th to help eren in shiganshina #shoulda left him crispy on that roof and maybe we wouldnt be in this situation #and theres the whole nuking the liberio port thing which is like. ok other characters have committed similar atrocities #but they get flamed by the narrative and other characters for it #i think yelena brings it up once during the airing of grievances but i want to see reiner-level suffering and fallout from all this stuff #feeling incredibly dissatisfied with how s 4 handles him. i cant put my finger on it entirely but #to me it feels like there are narrative promises that have not been delivered on. its vague but that's all i got for now #or perhaps narrative precedents that are not being met #i will need to consult my sister because i am certain she feels the same way and she might have it in words already #me and crankycorvid were talking along similar lines too so i know im not alone in this #anyway stan hanji zoe

[chrismcshell]

theres a provincial election happening in ontario right now & there’s this new “New Blue” party & the house right across from mine - visible from my bedroom window - has a couple of New Blue lawn signs.

i finally looked up what exactly the New Blue party is, & apparently they’re a Socially Conservative party that was created because the existing Conservative party was too left-of-centre for them (fact check: the ontario “Progressive Conservative” party is very much centre-right, NOT centre-left). Doug Ford isnt right-wing enough for them. they want ontario to be MORE right-wing. they want to stop covid lockdowns & vaccine mandates. they want to stop “woke culture”; they want to stop “critical race theory” & “gender identity theory” being taught in schools.

and my neighbours support them. very cool i definitely feel safe here haha :-)

#ray speaks #and then there's another new party calling themselves the Ontario Party that have a similar 'too right-wing even for the conservatives' deal #2 new far-right parties. sooooo cool. and then we have the 'progressive conservative' party which is more 'moderate' right-wing -- #-- & the centrist liberals & centre-left ndp #& the green party who i think are also pretty centrist but idk im not too familiar w the ontario green party #anyway u could argue that it's good to have more rightwing parties because it splits the conservative vote & makes them less likely to win #but. god. it is miserable seeing all these far-right ideas just out there; being pushed by legitimate political parties #idk man i think racist transphobes who demand the freedom to spread a deadly virus maybe shouldnt be allowed to run #politics #canadian politics #ANYWAY im gonna vote ndp even though the ON NDP party has a proud history of ignoring autistic voices & pouring money into the aba industry #theres like. no other option lol #i hate it here !!!!!!!! #& by 'here' i dont mean just ontario; i feel like the whole damn world has been Like This lately #far-right politics on the rise; centrist politics being treated as left-wing.... #+ when it comes to autism-specific issues; ABA is still widely pushed as an ESSENTIAL 'treatment' for autistic kids #it's sickening it's all sickening it all feels so hopeless. when will things get better

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

#rat rambles #oni posting #like I guess I just rly love that oni both manages to commit to being a tragedy while also leaving a world still in motion #like Im glad that olivia didnt get a bittersweet ending and instead got a fucking miserable one #while at the same time the dupes are still left there to keep moving forward #well ok more so I like how the narrative shifts into smth quite beautiful when seen from the dupes perspectives #which is also why I like that the dupes are rarely talked abt directly in the lore logs #idk I just feel like a seed is planted wouldnt hit as hard to me if the dupes were talked abt more #its the same sort of incedental storytelling that I like abt the rest of oni's writing ig #also I just think them being a major part of the lore logs would rly take away from the greater horrors and tragedies of gravitas #like idk I think it would have been a lot more boring if a third of the logs were just jackie going so yeah I tortured dupes some more #it makes the pre end of the world world feel so much bigger while still mostly remaining within gravitas itself #enhances the feeling of glimpsing into a past world #like every now and then I think abt what oni story could have looked like and am filled with joy at what it is now #I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good #it honestly makes me almost wish there wouldnt be new lore but I do think theres room for more #as in theres plenty of room to make shit up and also we need to see more of the scientists pls #as for actual quote unquote plot stuff idk just give me like one jackie and olivia college year video transcript or smth and we're good #theres other stuff that make me lose my mind but for narrative consistency I think itd be best to not touch those two too much #especially olivia I rly think she doesnt need almost any new content the only stuff Id want with her is if it expanded upon jackie #because rly jackie is the only character I think would super heavily benefit from elaboration even if I stand by her not needing much #as Ive said a billion times just smth small to show us her in a more casual setting and we're golden I think #show me that woman being genuinely happy so I can fill in the blanks as she slowly gets crushed by the consequences of her actions #shes a part of this tragedy too and god damnit I want to see the life she ruined along the way of ruining many others #I want to see a woman whos eyes once shined and then when the lights have dulled I want her to say it was worth it with no conviction #metaphorically ofc I dont actually want to see most of it because thatd go against the narrative philosophy already established #rly all this means is I wanna see jackie and olivia doing laundry together or smth #oh also I hope they specifically give otto a whole other log just to clear up my pronoun woes #idc what its abt just have them talk abt their gender offhand or smth #just mi-ma being like how do you do young man and otto is like they and mi-ma is like ah yes young they

[maemil]

God, I was getting annoyed with some choices the writers started making a bit after the halfway point of Batgirl (2000), only to be informed that this was pretty much exactly when Kelley Puckett stopped writing.

#i see what you guys meant when you said he did it best agsjdk #to be fair i really enjoyed testline. which was right after puckett left but that may also be my bad case of the stephs #i am still reading. its not like end of the world stuff. theyre just kinda making bruce worse & have been focusing *hard* on her & boys #like issues 39-45 have on some level themes regarding her relationship with either superboy or this one random villain or guys in general #she feels hella lesbian coded for a lot of it tbh like she does not seem comfortable with dudes checking her out ever shdkjdk #but thats just making it more annoying because im like 'free her or make this an actual exploration of comphet (never gonna happen)' #i have a feeling the problems with bruce are gonna be resolved with them kicking each others asses which normally im all for but not rn #i just feel hes being written worse than the writers think he is which just makes things frustrating #especially when his level of shittiness up to now felt pretty ideal. but theyre also making her dad worse. ig to make bruce look better :/ #batgirl (2000) #mae reads comics #edit: it is looking like 48-50 will be bruce problems. 51-52 is horny. and then we hit robin!steph which will make me hate bruce more oh god #hopefully theres some interesting parts in the bruce problems section i genuinely dont hate them having conflict. but RIP #after that is like two events shdjdk i might need to take a break from batgirl for a min #its been my go to fun comic for a while but i do have to pace myself with those anyway #and ill ruin the good stuff im sure *will* show up later if i go into it grumpy because of change

[just-spacetrash]

A

#that feeling when youve been looking for a fic to read for DAYS and youve curated your tags and filters so carefully and you keep quitting #fics left and right when they do smth you dislike and youre scrolling thru them and then you start getting kind of sick of looking at #all that romance and fucking 'true love' tags or whatever and its kind of ironic cause you did search for character a/character b fics #so its GONNA be romance fics like thats what u wanted but its like eating eggs its all good and suddenly its so awful and ur gonna throw up #so you stop scrolling cause your heart is beating really loud for some reason and youre not gonna go into a spiral about being unlovable #or too broken to ever experience love cause youre probably just aromantic and shy and theres not a thing wrong with that and youve got #all the time in the world anyway. so you stop scrolling but dont close the tab just yet cause maybe tomorrow it wont feel annoying #and redundant cause u DO wanna read a romance fic (at least until just before they kiss or confess or whatever) its just a pain to find one #anyway. you ever get that feeling? #maybe i do need to start writing myself or something this endless searching for the nichest things is killing me #my post

[frenchphobic]

embarrassing as hell to admit i find writing fanfiction kind of fun even though i hate ap3 and fanfiction culture

#its how to say limiting but in a good way. like im more focused on a specific idea #like theres a foundation all set for me to use i can just build on it via worldbuilding #cause if left unchecked my worldbuilding can get wacky (see my world) but if its derivative i go off by the original #LIKE IT PUSHES ME TO BE MORE CREATIVE. I LIKE DOING RESEARCH #and also with all the characters like when it. omes to my own they all sound like me #but i have to at least try to make the characters sound like someone im not which IS fun #and if you know my style of how i write fanfiction u know i treat it like im writing my own original story. it needs to have themes etc #i know i can do original story writing but sometimes i feel overwhelmed by it like too many ideas #basically both have their pros and cons

[kuiinncedes]

oh my goddddd

#yall im gonna be so annoying this week #just drowning lmao ;-; #this project ...... ;-; it's fine im #fnjbhgnbjhsgbnhssfdjkbgjfdhgjk i'll get liek the minimum average required to pass #and even if i dont #it's fucking fine i know it's fine it just feels like the end of the world wahoo #exam and wednesday and exam on thursday are rly gonna be actually the worst TT #i want to at least try to get as much of this project done as possible which is mAYBE A DUMB WAY TO PRIORITIZE BUT IM DUMB SO #andfigbpqeirbgipqurehgflsdjfbgshjfgbljsfhgaljidfhgdairtuhqg fuck me #bc like i need to finish this project tomorrow w SOME amt of time available for me to study for my midterm wednesday morning-ish TT #fuckkkkk lmfaoooifjgpiufgnoiwufbhjwgqehrbgjafjnkn why has this happened #i am in a very quiet nice building why is it so cold tho but anyway in here w my leftover fucking mini pearls from my bubble tea #theres so many mini pearls left should i just like let this be my timer LMAO when i finish the mini pearls i go home #anyway i should not be typing away on tumblr yeeeeeeee #worst few weeks ever bro ugh bro i #i stil dont want to sleep but like i need to sleep for ten years #LOL jnfbhfdhboghrgbqoriugwpifubsodiufghdfihg i hate it here #jeanne talks #GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY THO besides glowstick club in general AHAHA altho that is lowkey giving me more stress rn <3 #but current creative director was saying that i would be a good creative director ;-; and i've been thinking abt going for that role in #board elections for next yearrrrrrrr i want to do it im kinda scared of the workload LMAO but #im fucking obsessed enough w glowstick club like i will put in the time #anyway :))) that meant a lot to me when he said that tho and made me happy TT #he said im responsible and i have good taste LOL :'') OK JEANNE SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO CODING TT #im so so screwed damn