#I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good
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Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost
#rat rambles#oni posting#like I guess I just rly love that oni both manages to commit to being a tragedy while also leaving a world still in motion#like Im glad that olivia didnt get a bittersweet ending and instead got a fucking miserable one#while at the same time the dupes are still left there to keep moving forward#well ok more so I like how the narrative shifts into smth quite beautiful when seen from the dupes perspectives#which is also why I like that the dupes are rarely talked abt directly in the lore logs#idk I just feel like a seed is planted wouldnt hit as hard to me if the dupes were talked abt more#its the same sort of incedental storytelling that I like abt the rest of oni's writing ig#also I just think them being a major part of the lore logs would rly take away from the greater horrors and tragedies of gravitas#like idk I think it would have been a lot more boring if a third of the logs were just jackie going so yeah I tortured dupes some more#it makes the pre end of the world world feel so much bigger while still mostly remaining within gravitas itself#enhances the feeling of glimpsing into a past world#like every now and then I think abt what oni story could have looked like and am filled with joy at what it is now#I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good#it honestly makes me almost wish there wouldnt be new lore but I do think theres room for more#as in theres plenty of room to make shit up and also we need to see more of the scientists pls#as for actual quote unquote plot stuff idk just give me like one jackie and olivia college year video transcript or smth and we're good#theres other stuff that make me lose my mind but for narrative consistency I think itd be best to not touch those two too much#especially olivia I rly think she doesnt need almost any new content the only stuff Id want with her is if it expanded upon jackie#because rly jackie is the only character I think would super heavily benefit from elaboration even if I stand by her not needing much#as Ive said a billion times just smth small to show us her in a more casual setting and we're golden I think#show me that woman being genuinely happy so I can fill in the blanks as she slowly gets crushed by the consequences of her actions#shes a part of this tragedy too and god damnit I want to see the life she ruined along the way of ruining many others#I want to see a woman whos eyes once shined and then when the lights have dulled I want her to say it was worth it with no conviction#metaphorically ofc I dont actually want to see most of it because thatd go against the narrative philosophy already established#rly all this means is I wanna see jackie and olivia doing laundry together or smth#oh also I hope they specifically give otto a whole other log just to clear up my pronoun woes#idc what its abt just have them talk abt their gender offhand or smth#just mi-ma being like how do you do young man and otto is like they and mi-ma is like ah yes young they
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reading fight club psycho smut and this is killing me. he ruined me the same way we're ruining the world with pollution
#i am a slave to my baptism!!!#we are god's unwanted children!!#dean and cas' queerbait is actually kind of legit as masculinity in media#there's the obvious depravity sacreligion motif. yeah we've all seen it#but there's also the abandonment of the father figure that creates a toxic environment of male circle jerking validation#you kno what i find most compelling about fight club is self destruction as self-actualisation purely out of hurt and spite#being told ur the warm gooey centre of the world and not getting you need. the primary function in the nuclear household being that#everyone lets the man do whatever he wants does everything for him and in return he provides them with what only he can but you see#this masculinity in media aka im the problem its me media is about portraying this Hidden struggle of man but like#the solution is obvious and its this hubris of man to not take it because he believes he is destined for something greater thats the issue#i love the narrative as man as the main character i love it about women too i love when we look at the world so intensely through one view&#it being pretty fucked up because u kno in fight club there is still morality there are good intentions there is Beauty even if theres no#love.....#tyler durden as an analogy for self denial. another religious motif!!#i think you have to be truly philosophical to get meaningful fulfillment in life& media like fight club and taxi driver are inherently so!#joker is purely about mental illness which is why it sucks#mental illness is not about being fucked up or subversive its about sickness and addiction and pain#fucked up as a title of honour#there is something deeply empathetic and beautiful about the feeling of connecting with the injustice of the world that we need to do more#through engaging with fiction materials
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[1] WITH A COSPLAYER!YUU WHO SADLY ENDED UP IN TWISTED WONDERLAND WHILE IN COSPLAY...
01 ➳ I might expload if i keep on thinking about this juicy
brainrot eating my brain into BITS anyways..
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ᴏɴᴇ ᴜɴғᴀɪᴛʜғᴜʟ ᴅᴀʏ, ᴀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴɪᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ɪs ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʀᴀɴsᴘᴏʀᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛᴡɪsᴛᴇᴅ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀʟᴀɴᴅ! ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ɪs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏsᴘʟᴀʏ. ɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴡᴋᴡᴀʀᴅʟʏ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀs ᴄᴏɴғᴜsᴇᴅ ᴇʏᴇs ɢᴀᴢᴇ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ...
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ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ʀᴏsᴇʜᴇᴀʀᴛs
Now you were suddenly transported into twisted wonderland in your Riddle Rosehearts cosplay. This was supposed to be the day you were going to have a fun convention day with your friends who cosplayed the other Heartslabyul members. Now that you literally get to face the actual Riddle Rosehearts. You were definitely fuming with embarrassment! You laughed uncannily, the other members of Heartslabyul still incoherent shock. Especially Ace
You try to blabber out some excuses WHY you were wearing Riddle's dorm outfit! Riddle was much confused but slightly impressed. The makeup was nice, the styling of the wig was impressive. Especially the details in his atrocious outfit (if you handmade it of course).
God damnit! You were basically dying in embarrassment, you can't possibly say to Riddle that he is a fictional character in a game! No that knowledge is definitely unbearable to someone like him. But you couldn't find anymore words to describe your current predicament; your only chance was to tell.. Half of the truth!
"W-Well.. Your a famous favorite... Character back in my.. World! People loved your personality, they find you.. "
Now how to describe this? How the hell do you say something about it! Riddle was shocked. He wasn't expecting people to like his personality knowing how stern he was before his overblot.. Or even now!
You mostly spend the following hours in your Riddle cosplay, what would make it even funnier is when you and riddle would walk together, you two look the same but the only difference was in height. Obviously you were taller than Riddle. But you really slayed in those heels!
Of course, when you finally took off your Riddle cosplay was when he actually saw you. He felt like he got tricked because aint no wait some of your features just disappeared! (Your makeup skills were too good, professional catfisher!..)
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ʟᴇᴏɴᴀ ᴋɪɴɢsᴄʜᴏʟᴀʀ
Well shit. This is awkward. Its not everyday you face the character you were literally cosplaying as... You found feel a rush of embarrassment go through your head. You were wearing the fairy gala outfit of Leona with a high ponytail (because before being suddenly sucked into Twisted Wonderland. You were sweating in your cosplay and decided to put your wig up in a ponytail because it was thick)
Leona only looked at you and laughed. Okay now, this was more embarrassing than you expected. Your cosplay was a bit incomplete if you could say. You couldn't find any damn white shoes to match the outfit so EARNESTLY and EVEN SO DESPERATELY asked your own mother to borrow her silly heels that she wore on her wedding, but fuck that was like... More than a decade, thats for sure. Somehow it kinda fits you, same shoe size or whatever. It definitely caught Leona's attention knowing how you're almost at his height, yet just kick off a few more centimeters then you'll reach it!
Ruggie feels constipated seeing two Leonas sit in one room. Goddamit! Now he has to grab for two of them! Oh? One of them is real nice for no absolute reason? A nice Leona feels like a nightmare, but he'll take wha he can get. Since you can't get out of your silly cosplay, you were forcibly going around the campus with your fairy gala cosplay. A bit embarrassing but it has a few perks, people who didnt knew it was the fake Leona would have had probably been shaling their boots off. A little threatening to have something wont hurt right? Nahh, they wont know anyways. You were a Ruggie in disguise.
Sometimes, Leona would point details you missed. Like oh! You forgot this or you literally forgot to add that. He just wanted to seen as a perfect piece of art. If your cosplay is 100% handmade, he is secretly impressed by your dedication and motivation. What? This took you 6 months? HALF A YEAR? His respect kinda went up a bit. If you cosplay with your friends and family, maybe tell some stories about you and your friend/cousin/sibling dressing up as Falena and doing the scene from Lion King with your younger sibling/short friend. "Whats the Lion King Scene?" All the braincells probably left out of your brain because oh my fucking god, all you hear in your head is "LONG LIVE THE KING.." and you know.. yeah... You went silent after that, you cannot say that. Moving on!
When Leona saw you out of your cosplay, he was still secretly impressed over your makeup skills; not one for makeup himself but he just finds that you can literally become another person just with makeup impressive but he wont dare say it out loud. Professional catfisher am i right?
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ᴀᴢᴜʟ ᴀsʜᴇɴɢʀᴏᴛᴛᴏ
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Oh you cosplayed Azul? Hes fine on the outside but screaming in the inside. If the world allows you, you might hear him scream.
Jade and Floyd finds you pretty cool. You cosplayed Azul and you looked so silly and cool in it!
If you were a chubby cosplayer, Azul will scream at this point. An actual scream (not because hes scared or anything. Hes having a plentiful of positive emotions rushing through his brain.)
He will check your cosplay too! Checking every detail. Saying this like "impressive" "amazing labor!" He would definitely be shock on how much time it took you , even if his outfit is easily to replicate. Your broke ass decided to take it the hard way andake it by scratch because no money will be wasted generously.
Please show your Azul impression. He actually kinda wants to see it. If you do silly things in your Azul cosplay. He's gonna be slightly embarrassed but at some point, he might get used to it.
DID I HEAR THAT CLEARLY?! YOU MADE A PROP OF AZUL'S GOLDEN CONTRACT?! He looks at it with awe. Even though it just glossy yellow paper with some writings, its still very nice you went this far for something as someone like him.
You two will roam the hallways asking for contracts now! Just kidding (if you want to :3)
When Azul saw you without your cosplay, he still finds you amazing in your skills of makeup and stylization. Not everyone can transform themselves into another person with makeup and a measly brush no?
The professional catfisher strikes again!
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➥ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ? ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ ᴏʀ ʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ʜᴇʜᴇ!
! ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ! ᴅʀɪɴᴋ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴄᴄᴏʀᴅɪɴɢʟʏ !
➳ [2] 𝘒𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘮, 𝘝𝘪𝘭, 𝘐𝘥𝘪𝘢, 𝘔𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘴
ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ!
ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ!
#akix's lil stars#disney twst#twst wonderland#twst fanfic#twst x reader#cosplayer!reader#cyber's wonderland#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto
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I’m so fucking in love with the desert alien scar au like YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. I love fictional alien species so much this is scratching such a good part of my brain-
That being said, what does it look like when Scar burrows himself in the sand? Like does he completely submerge himself or only leave like his head peeking out? DOES HE WIGGLE IN THE SAND LIKE A SNAKE DOES TO GET COMFY??? And does Grian realize that Scar was proposing to him with the flowers or…
also. Does Scar grow his hair out long bc he likes how warm it is???
aAAAAA SDJFSDK YESSSS!
OKAY OKAY SO SCAR BURROWING HIMSELF IN THE SAND. ALL OF THE OPTIONS CAN HAPPEN. SOMETIMES HE'LL BURROW COMEPLETELY, SOMETIMES HIS HEAD WILL STICK OUT. DEPENDS ON THE MOOD.
AS LONG AS ITS WARM AND COMFY THATS ALL SCAR NEEDS SDFHJBS.
The hair. maybe! I haven't thought about his hair much in this au so! possibly!!!!!
And finally. No, Grian has no idea Scar proposed to him.
The way Grian finds out is actually a funny little scene we talked about sdjkfns.
basically. Scar thinks he and Grian are married since Grian accepted the flowers. and- actually? im gonna copy paste the rambles i have for this already:
Mumbo who Scar feels so safe with because he knows hes not gonna tell anyone anything he shows him or ask invasive questions or touch his ears etc. And mumbo whos so curious but doesnt wanna be pushy or too curious or anything. Scar who asks Mumbo if hes curious about where he comes from, what he is. Mumbo admitting that yea hes curious, but if Scar doesnt wanna share hes not gonna push... And Scar from then on sharing little bits and pieces of information about his culture and customs. He mentions one time that where hes from, they propose by giving someone a flower.
One time mumbo sees a beautiful flower field and thinks about Scar and decides to give him flowers.... He forgot what giving flowers means to Scar. Then Scar getting really blushy and stuttering and Mumbo cant figure out why simple flowers would make him so flustered....
Then imagine Mumbo sitting up in the middle of the night realising "OH MY GOD I JUST PROPOSED TO SCAR" Cue Mumbo running to Grian and waking him up at ass o'clock like "GRIAN WHAT DO I DO I MARRIED SCAR BY ACCIDENT"
Bonus point if thats how Grian finds out hes married to Scar. Mumbo panicking and going to Grian and Grian going "how do you accidentally propose to someone-" And Mumbo saying that in Scars culture they propose by givignn flowers and Grian goes silent before "oh my god I'M married to Scar!"
I'm very normal about them as you can see
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#stricklyscandalous Usually dominant Hangman just being a simp for his girl. Like on his knees submissive.
Oh, what a concept. We all love those stories, those fan fiction plots where there's some tough, usually egotistical douchebag who's so infuriating and rugged but is only ever soft for the girl he's chasing. The girl he has the biggest soft spot for. Jake Seresin is the definition of that concept.
“Thats right, eat my fucking pussy baby–” Its the way your voice sounds that eggs Jake on more than anything else in the entire world. “Oh my god yesss!!” throwing your head back under the steam of water that ran from the shoulder head. Bless the Mirimar base for having unisex changing rooms.
“So sweet–” Hangman's mumbling as he laps away at your dripping cunt. His hands tied behind his back with your work issued belt. One of your legs is thrown over his shoulder as he sits back on the balls of his heels. Exercising the strongest muscle in the body–his tongue.
“What do you say Jake?” You moaned as you gripped his blonde locks, pulling to invoke a hiss from his mouth as he pressed kisses against your thigh. Looking up at you like you hung all the stars in the night sky just for him. If his colleagues could see him now, down on his fucking knees with his hands tied behind– begging like some bitch simp for a omen who held his entire heart. He’d be a laughing stock.
“Thankyou–” It was soft and oh so sincere. “Thank you, letting me eat you out– like this.” Jake moved his way back to your cunt, diving back in. his jaw aching, tongue tired. But he wasn't about to give up so easily. “Taste so fucking sweet.”
“Make me cum baby, come on–dont leave me hanging.” The way you spoke to him like you knew you could do better made Jake want to prove you wrong, sucking a little harder against your sensitive bundle of nerves as you pressed yourself further back against the tiles. Starting to lose your balance as Jake worked you over. “Bet I could have done a better job on my own.” That did it. Jake had been kind, he’d played your little game– he’d been submissive and patient and eaten you out like a staved man. But he was done.
“Okay pretty girl, you’ve had your fucking fun.” Jake hissed as he broke your belt, freeing himself from his restraints. You didn't mind, you wanted him to ravish you–his fingers delving deep into your core. Coaxing you towards your high as he continued his adult against your clit. Thick fingers stretching you. Filling you. “So good baby, might just have to keep you on edge for the whole afternoon.”
“You wouldn't!” You could feel your high coming, lapping at the shore as your stomach tightened and breath hitched. Your grip on Jake's hair growing together every passing second as you tried to climb the wall, run away from the overstimulation. “Jake, Please!”
“Anything for you pretty girl–”
***~***~***~***~***~
#stricktlyscandalous Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#top gun fanfiction#top gun hangman#strictly scandalous // Jake 'hangman' seresin#strictly scandalous // topgun
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IF you leave me — soonyoung
𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : y/n x soonyoung
𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : angst
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : nothing lol
𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 : this is purely fiction. i tried my best to relate certain scenes from the lyrics of IF you leave me. hopefully it turned out decent. reblogs would be really appreciated hehe <3.
the time,my world,they may move on again
you feel your world stuck. the moment you meet his eyes again,after 4months,when you finally thought you were over this,you world was stuck again. at 8pm in your local convenience store.
the last time it was stuck was that night when you both screamed your lungs out,hugging each other tight,tears flowing on each other when you both decided to part ways. you wanted this to end on good terms but words were thrown at each other like sharp edged knives without knowing it could leave deeper scars on both of you.
you both knew the love was falling apart. efforts were lessened,you barely saw each other inspite of living together,priorities were changed. you love was definitely falling apart because if it was still the same atleast one of you would’ve tried to change yourself for the other,right ?
the first time you met soonyoung was at a career guidance program during your first year of college. the bright guy,who couldn’t keep his eyes off you or his feet on ground for a moment. the guy who you knew you will fall for.
“soonyoung! and you ?”
“y/n..y/f/n” you gave your hand returning a smile
from strangers to friends to lovers to strangers again. trope sounded good but your heart was ripping apart.
i’ll stay by your side throughout the endless times
he said while staring at you with full of love. during the night you both moved in together,standing in the balcony watching the streets with lights. you swear your world stuck. stuck in his eyes.
he slowly leaned down. his soft lips moving onto yours while his hands were holding yours. you both were so in love,life was good,when you were his. when he was yours.
in the distant future…no,i just don’t want to think about it
the first time you both had a serious fight. well it was childish,you thought. you both started your internship. you tried your best to give your time to work as well as him,so did he. but god it was hard when you see your efforts being little too much than the other’s. but it ended up with cuddles,apologies,forehead kisses and a date plan. ofcourse you can’t leave him. you can’t even think about leaving him. things were back to normal. you both started making time for each other. fridays movie nights were always there. but how long could it last,when you know it was forced?
my heart,which was broken
you could physically feel your heart break. “you’re..you’re just making this harder for me y/n..just leave me alone”
10-8 work was just so hard for both of you. you planned a surprise date for your fiancé,soonyoung. you knew he was stressed and you just wanted him to feel better but in return he broke your heart,into pieces.
“fine..” that’s all you could gather up to say. you wanted to tell him to fuck off but how could you ?
[back to present]
you both just stare. stare until he comes forward. your heart beats fast,fast and faster. just the way it did when he said his first i love you.
he looked the same as you. puffy tired eyes that was probably from crying every night. he looks skinnier too. same as you,again.
“y/n..how are you doing” pathetic.terrible.sick.
if you were to describe how you really felt. there’s it.
you just nod,looking at the ground feeling tears prick out. you can’t just cry infront of him. you can’t let him know he still affects you. that would affect your ego. but he holds so much power over you,your first and only love after all.
“i-i have to leave..it’s late” you rush past him.
“y/n..Y/N ! p-please..wait..” he caught your cold trembling hand making you pause for him. again.
“i’m sorry..”
thats all you said before forcefully detach your hands from him.
you wanted him but this won’t be the same. you were mad. you were mad that he wasted 6 years of your love life,mad that he didn’t think of your heart,mad that he made you feel this way,mad that he did’t even fight for this,for you,mad that he isn’t the same. so weren’t you.
#seventeen#svt imagines#svt x reader#svt fanfic#svt fluff#svt angst#hoshi#hoshi svt#hoshi angst#hoshi x y/n#hoshi x reader#soonyoung x you#soonyoung imagines#svt soonyoung#soonyoung angst#kwon soonyoung
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i think im a lesbian and thats been making me cry in the middle of the night every night for the last umm i dont know. week. couple of weeks maybe. i dont want to be a lesbian bc ive been bi for so long and i dont want another sexuality crisis. but at the same time the idea of being with a man makes me feel so fucking repulsed and i dont know if thats bc ive just had multiple experiences of a male friend making inappropriate comments toward me when i used to trust him OR if its bc i am genuinely realizing i have never. never. never. never. never had strong feelings for a man the way i do with a woman. like i saw a cute customer today who was a guy but i wouldnt date him. i thought he was cute but i wouldnt do anything about it, like if he asked me out i'd feel uncomfortable. but then i saw a blonde woman walk in and i thought to myself, god she's gorgeous and if she asked me out right now i'd say yes when and where!!
i only feel "i'd kiss him i'd date him i'd hold his hand" with fictional male characters and male celebrities. not real/obtainable people. would i still feel that way if they were physically in front of me? i think i would, i think if ken were in front of me calling me sweet girl i'd never feel repulsed. i think if a guy who looked and acted exactly like ryan gosling was in front of me asking me out i'd consider it maybe? but i know i feel genuine love for my F/Os. my feelings for them are 100% real and pure. i hear that could possibly be an aromantic thing, to be genuinely attracted to your F/Os but not real people. but i feel genuinely attracted to real women!! sometimes!! half the time!!! not ALL the time and i don't know if i'd be willing to be in a relationship bc i'm so detached to the idea of a relationship but like... the attraction is absolutely there to some degree and it seems to be that way strongly for women
and then i thought, ok well, bisexual means being attracted to two or more genders, right? and i'm attracted to (probably) anyone who isn't a man, though my strongest feelings are for women. but then someone else told me that the lesbian label would still include people who aren't strictly women, so?? like?? i'm just confused i was hoping lesbian meant "just women" so then i can tell myself "oh i cant be a lesbian then because i've felt attraction to nonbinary/genderfluid ppl as well who don't identify as women at all" but if the lesbian label includes that, then uh, maybe i'm? a lesbian?
but god i have felt so uncomfortable around a man who's been making me feel unsafe lately, and it's just making me wake up and realize i've never been genuinely wholeheartedly attracted to men, period. not once. i've had small fleeting little crushes but if that crush asked me out i'd say No Get The Fuck Away From Me. there was actually an instance where i had a small "crush"(?) on a male coworker when i was 18 years old for a few weeks, but then he asked me out, and i felt so disgusted and uncomfortable that i went to my car and cried. and then i had a crush on a nonbinary person years later and that felt. so. fucking good. that felt so whole and so real to me. and then i had a crush on a woman years after that and i would lie awake at night with the most pure beautiful feeling in my chest. and when they asked me out i didn't feel grossed out at all, i felt wonderful, i felt amazing, i was shaking because i was so happy
but i have never ever ever once felt that way with a man. and it makes me sad bc i spent so long calling myself bisexual but i dont think that fits me anymore and i dont think some of my family members would really love me anymore if i came out as a lesbian and i just. dont want to think about it too hard but its all i can think about. i dont want to label myself right now but i dont feel good if i dont have a label. like, i can stick with bisexual just for the sake of a label making me feel comfortable but i dont feel bisexual if that HAS to include men. does bisexual HAVE to include men, if youre a cis woman identifying as bi??? can me being bisexual be attraction ANYONE EXCEPT a man??? with just a very very very very strong preference for women????
i just wish my F/Os were real, i would just be with them and forget labels entirely and just get tf outta here. i know if my male fictional others were to come to life, it wouldnt repulse me. i've asked other lesbians "if YOUR male F/O was real and in front of you with a bouquet of flowers asking you out, would you date him" they have all said "no not at all, bc he isn't a woman. i am only attracted to him fictionally but if he were real i'd feel nothing". so like. i dunno. because if ken or plankton were real i'd feel everything.
im so sick of being here im so sick of men making inappropriate comments about my body when theyre supposed to be ppl that i trust and im so sick of wanting a girlfriend but not wanting a relationship, yearning for women but not wanting anything to do with actually dating somebody. exhausting. all of this is exhausting. am i aro am i a lesbian can i be bisexual i dont feel bisexual anymore i'm dragging that label's dead weight on my shoulders and i want to replace it i WANT a label but i dont know what my label is and im tired. i dont think my family members would accept me being a lesbian and that hurts. i tried telling my dad yesterday and he was like "no you don't know what you are, you don't have enough experience to know if you like men or not. i think you'll marry a man one day" no the idea of marriage repulses me too actually. im indifferent to sex, i dont want to get married, i dont want a relationship. but god i want a woman in my life who i can kiss and come home to and hold and ask her about her day and slow dance with in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. can barbie be real i just want to date barbie. she's human isn't she. c'mon barbie where are you girl you gotta come and rollerblade to my place so we can forget everything and be aromantic lesbians together
#vent#delete later#SORRY it is 8am i need to sleep but i cant sleep and i am spiraling a little bit ;-;#nobody has to feel obligated to read/respond i just needed to dump this somewhere!
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This is very random, but on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate the Solo Leveling characters in terms of hotness
Hi sorry for the long wait and long analysis post this is going to be!
Also you don't need to read all of it! It's fine! I put the pics there for a reason!
Well after this whole thing I can say that even I disagree with myself as to how I put them up on the scale, but its the best i could do. So there definetly might be disagreements bc I have to come clear about this:
I am in fact not attracted to fictional characters.
:0
Okay it's kind of sketchy, I'm attracted to their personalities more than the whole characteristic itself because *waves hands* well I'm just not into superficial physiques. I say they are hot, sexy and stuff like it's a normal thing for me to say, and because genuinely thats what they were drawn to do but honestly it's hard for me to be attracted to some that way, much less fictional characters. And if someone else says they are hot I be like "yup yes absolutely look at them hips! Face! Princess type!" While like, not caring at all. It's why my change of hotness is also never clear. I can say I like himbos just as I can say I like petite little girls to monster fukery. And it will all be true in the end because 1)fiction and 2)the more I write about them and inmerse myself in their story the more I feel like I have a certain connection to those characters which makes me ACTUALLY like them.
So biased opinion wise: they all a 10 fr (And Antares is a hella 11 he can fuck Ashborn ra—)
Anyways !
SL Scale by Sexyness!
First though, some general rules:
I don't think I might be able to put anyone 6/10 or lower, that kinda has to do with the fact that they were all meant to look good by the artists bc, well, they wanted everyone to be engaged in the characters.
I will try to base the Sexyness meter as a heriarchy of one another: like just because I put a character on 8 doesn't mean it's an 8/10 or but rather he is less sexy than the one at 9.
10s are at the very top of character design for me while 9s are somewhat less than 10s and 8s are less than 9s, like so.
Also I can only do like 10 people sadly bc photos don't let me get past 10, so I will do like 2 people on the tens, 2 on the 9s, 2 on 8s... and so forth until the 6.
Si like:
10— Perfect gender envy
9— God they are hot
8—sexy smexy
7— more cool than sexy
6— the vanilla kind of sexy
Really sexyness is pretty hard to describe for me bc everyone fits in their own way to something as long as they are like, clean. But at the same time sexyness does vary a lot by perspective alone and attractiveness in it of itself. I'm going crazy and I probably sound too off putting with this sorry! So imma start—
First off: The Tens
They may sound like honest default but honestly they also had the best jobs done characterization-wise because of how basic yet elegant they can be. In part, something that isn't too over the top but at the same time isn't too toned down which is what makes for that personal goal of being able to look like them or project on to them. The gender envy on them is real, especially because Solo Leveling took a lot of the elements of Isekai and with it came the "bland protagonist" trope. But when it transitioned to manwha the bland protagonist suddenly turned into someone you wanted to be: someone muscular and flexible, someone that shares the same looks as normal people but makes them attractive...
Also he looks like a K pop idol, and it's already wide known just how much they love those kinds of men.
So 10 out of 10.
And then there is Cha Hae In which is more towards the attractive "waifu" love part rather than a projection to one's self— like it can be, but it does take a lot of tastes with what the target audience for SL wants, i.e blonde and somewhat curvy but still skinny. Looks tall but still not too tall, long legs, at the last chapter she has a long hair which is also pretty sought out.
Also they can both pull off a masc and fem energy which is a bonus too bc they can reach more diversed looks! Androginy for real is really awesome in characters due to all the kinds of vibes than give off without being put of by their physique or thinking that it doesn't work well. Now I do think many aren't necessarily unattractive due to not wearing clothing asking by fashion standards. I mean, anyone thirsts over characters in a maid outfit, even the butchiest of muscular men, yet the change in fashion between men and women is still quite spaced out outside of Fandom circles or just cosplay circles as a whole, which is why an androgony kind of look that can go for both kinds of gender envy is quite seen as more sexy, at least in this chart.
Nines
Forgive me for adding a minor character but honestly I think Kanae Tawata's character seems to be one of the best for me! She tends to cover a lot of differences that CHI has the opposite off [black hair-Blonde, muscular- Thin, vibrant eyes- dull calm eyes, long hair- short] and at the same time it happens to look great on her, but what brings it down a point is probably the fact that she gives off more elegance than pure sexyness. I think the most elegance that is brought over is for the hime haircut that she has, but still she could pull of a 9.5 in other kinds of hairstyles too, like her and CHI really are close in terms of sexyness. (Also she excludes more dom vibes, where as Hae In is more sub and dom vibes what a versatile bitch i swear—)
I think the same could be said for Woo Jin Chul, the same terms for sexyness do apply despite also having various differences with Jin Woo in terms of appearance, but still manages to pull off his own kind of hotness in the same way, but once again his character also falls a lot more with the elegant type, this time I think it was more intentional since for the most part the clothes he wears are suits, longer sleeved shirts, and other more covered up clothes (what a slut) than like the rest of the characters.(what are you covering up for huh? So other men can take that off you? Hoe)
The Eights
Okay so why did I put resident sexiest characters of the seires at an eight? Am I blind? (yes, sexually) am I dumb?
But in all seriousness, I put down Zhigang up a notch not because I think he's unsexy, but rather, it's because of his hair *gets shot* wait hold on! I don't mean the length of his hair at all, that actually would put him on a firm 10 if I were to pick at random, but rather because of the whole messyness of it. In different aspects it does work, like the picture above, it's not much, it works well to describe his character and it genuinely does make him look like a diva, but it's also really hard to pull it off completely good, even for the artist. There are some panels where his hair is too long that it starts to look wrong on him or makes him look like a wild anime character (which I'm sorry it's a hard no 💀) so I'm fine with him having his beautiful long hair, I'm not fine with the way it tends to just poof out a lot that it tends to give it a worse look than before. He is still sexy, but there needs to be like a defined volume withing those strands please D": It can probably work even more if he let's his hair down too, that way the strands aren't too much to bare but the effect of it is still shown. The same goes for his built, that genuinely I don't know how it changes per season from stacked to thin. It does definelty have so.ething to do with black suits as said in this post, but when paired to Jin woo in other panels they also seem to have almost the same structure, which — I thought he would be around Thomas physique rather than Jin woo's, lmao he looks like a mix of both. Still men with long hair and those kinds of eyebrows are a big bonus which is why he isn't lowered. Although irl I don't know if that kind of look would attract normal people that aren't fans of cosplays or elves so :v.
As for Esil, I don't think she could pass for a lot of the sexyness tests, she might look the type of oh sexy demon vampire! But for me she had more characteristics that make her ought to be a more cute/naive type of character than a sexy one like in the rest of media. At first I think she does have a more kind of "sexy" considering all the sharp likes in her design, like the armor and the eye marks, but legit as she changes sides and puts on the black suit, suddenly the shape gets more rounder as she wears less padding that's sharp and also the huge offers a contrast that makes her look smaller and thus more innocent in the eyes of the viewer. I think that's funny but a great key design honestly considering her personality, because her appearance WAS the major factor of why she lived, the reason that Jin woo decided to spare her life despite being very tricky and a backstabber to both him and her race. Good on her fr. But yeah she was a good design overall as someone who is "cute" because if it was made sexy it will likely look more like a female-fatale as thus probably not pass as a good figure that keeps it word to Jin Woo. Sexyness after all is often times used in media as a way to stray others rather than repent since you don't see a lot of sexy characters who tend to be insecure or ashamed of themselves and instead use that beauty to its advantage. Esil wasn't that kind of character, she never tried to seduce him, she wanted to apologize for her actions, she fought him head on, she dragged him back to her home despite being unaware of his army in his shadows. All those things were why I focused on her being more cute than sexy. Also her big round eyes are more leaning towards cute and small than the cat like eyes of say Hae In and Kanae. The purple hair is a good factor on her though, and so are the fang teeth, red marks and eyes, and the long ears often associated with vamps. Still I think I prefer Esil more than the typical sexy vampire because– well the trope reversal! She gets to be someone that doesn't use her looks to lure but to show that she is a different species likewise.
Genuine attractiveness to these two because they are quite rare designs that i like the pop of it! Lou Zhigang does give me more danmei vibes but I love Esils kind of cuteness that takes away the sexy vamp trope.
The Sevenths
Let's start with Laura and her ability to just be cool right of the bat! And I think it catches that essence more than it does for Hae In. She does still have the same characteristics as her and can pull it off, but as the rest go downwards it's hard to describe if she's that much of a sexy idol. I think they just pull off more of a cool vibe than anything. Can she wear different kinds of outfits and pull it off? Yeah, but it would also take away her whole character of who she is which is more of a professional rather than a character that one could be interested in. Her appearance is also quite common within the US so it's not quite rare or unique as it is in the case of, well say, Hae In, so withing her location it's not quite as much of a stand out as it is in other places.
I do think the sense of elegance and normalcity also applies to Goto Ryuji. For different enjoyers it's definelty a 10 but in terms of sexyness by itself it's kind hard to pintpoint for me if it will be good top 10. Like the qualities are fine, he is sexy in his own right but when it goes to pull off a casual sexy (say a pair of short sleeves, normal wear) it doesn't fit his looks well. It's just... eh? Like my favorites parts of him was when he was with the armor and the suit on rather than the loose baggy t shirt and jacket he had when he fought jin woo.
Like for these two I don't immediently think "Oh god they are sexy" but more of a "Oh they are quite good looking, yet it seems they mostly are here to act professional." It works for Laura because that her whole main characteristic, it's not being attracted to anyone (Out of the few girls that appear in Solo Leveling too she also isn't one to thrist after Jin Woo, which thank you queen, I needed that. For that you and Kanae have my respect.) And mainly looking a things through a business perspective (while also having a sentimental side with Thomas, which is nice, it's not the "assistant having a crush on boss" trope it's rather the whole female-male platonic friendship that despite being business partners still feels somewhat real when the The "get along or worry about each other, again not for any kind of unspoken feelings but because they have been together for a long time as friends and coworkers")
It also works for Ryuji because their traits where to make people be fooled by their appearance. He seemed like someone who would be level headed and professional, but in fact was really resistant to thinking of others as better than himself and was very egotistical.
The Sixths
They both feel more like they would be the kind of love interests in Doramas especially in the way the get to dress themselves. I can see that some aspects would be sexy for Lennart if his hair was more of a wavy kind of look rather than a pure straight cut. The same I would probably say about Ju Hee, her aspects make her look more like cute-special kind of girl, especially with such bright colors like the orange hair and the blue eyes. There really isn't much for me to say about them as sexy but I think a lot of their characteristics could fit the the shy cute or pastel-sweetheart esthetic fro. Romcoms. For Juhee it's a given, she is bearly in her 20s, she is somewhat of a first friend trope, naturally scared and also a healer with soft features to represent her kind nature. For Lennart it's a small comparison of a cat like eyes due to his sharp sense of sight, but blonde look to represent its European, and since he is made out to be a small force compared to Thomas Andre (when facing against the Beast Monarch) the height and blue faint one-color palettes can make a good contrast to how colorful and big Thomas can be.
Um anyways than you for reading all of that, if you did... I really did like a lot of these character designs so it got me to be like this... :"v
#cha hae in#sung jin woo#woo jin chul#kanae tawata#ashborn lmao#liu zhigang#esil radiru#the true 10a for me are Antares and Ashborn tho just for the sake of how much their designs could change and the whole ass lore that i have#for them#because see i do tend to characterize more attractiveness with character persepective rather than pure physical beauty as a whole#instead of being normal and saying chart numbers i decided i needed to analyse the fuck out of them#like really im—#goto ryuji#lennart niermann#lee ju hee#laura Solo Leveling
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volume 13 oh fuck oh shit oh fuck lets go
chap 1:
-that panel with vash yelling and shooting at the sky its just...hes so done man, hes so tired
-legato dont
-fucking hell what did i just say
-damn, kinda feel bad for legato. cant he really have something knives? really?
-im sorry, like what legato is saying is really interesting but...is he mopping the floor with vash while thinking of his journey?
-"it would be shameful to not risk your life" PROJECTING MUCH???
-omg the 1st time i saw that one panel where hes white i fucking gasped so hard. i thought my baby was dead CUZ LOOK AT HIM
-like yo nightow that shit gives me nightmares to this day
-STOP LEGATO STOP ITTTT, NOT THE FLASHBACK
-the fact that legato ISNT WRONG about vash just ruins my fucking day. my week. my life
-OH THANK GOD I FINALLY GET TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT THING
-yknow ik we have said legato has never been his own person but in this moment (when he explains to vash the box) hes taking a decision for himself for once. he didnt have to give vash that advantage but he wants to prove his loyalty to knives, even when knives clearly said "i could not give less if a fuck." messed up choice, but his choice nonetheless
-im just gonna point out that vash doesnt think of wolfwood when he thinks of the gun ho guns and move on :)
chap 2:
-nightow honey IDK WHOS SAYING THAT
-oh ok thanks
-RIGHT IN THE FACE VASH CMON >:0
-oh honey
-legato is being a dick but putting the gun in your mouth? metal
-idk whats happening rn
-VASH NO HES GETTING HIS russian doll?
-oh DAMN ITS LIVIO TIMEEEEEE
-ok im gonna be honest...i dont remember if livio gets out of this one so when elendira says hell end up crucified....hmmm...pls no
-shes so sarcastic lmao
-also i kinda like livio having a lil bit of pride on his abilities, maybe cuz hes not like elendira being like "im powerful as fuck and you cant stop me."
-LIVIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D
-OH SHIT OH FUCK LETS GO THEYRE ABOUT TO LAND
chap 3:
-oh shit no warning? damn that IS gonna be rough
-legato dont-
-ah fuck, i cant believe youve done this
-yeah be paranoid bitch >:3
-"which one of us is best" personally i think vash but thats my bad, im a vash girlie <3
-oh legato...i sadly would say no. youre human therefore you cant live, according to him...anyway...
-LIVIO TIMEEEEEEE :D
-"omg elendira youre so rude >:[" "BITCH WE'RE IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH" xd
-"it just lifts my spirits ya see" :cccc livioooooooooo
-its not like i hated him before but im definitely enjoying his character way more now
chap 4:
-lets fucking go livio
-oh right.....oh no
-me: nightow what exactly is elendira-
nightow: shhh dont worry about it
-oh...oh thats hot actually
-legato pls leave my man aloneeeeeeeee
-omg theyre hereeeeeeeeeeeee
-"hes a very special person" he sure is <3
-something about vash hiding in the fog...hmmm idk it makes me sad
-oh, there he is
-fuck team humanity is getting their asses kicked
-LIVIO NO
-and...there he comes
-ah shittttttttt
chap 5:
-oh damn
-well damn there he goes
-razlo gets it >:3
-oh damn those eyes
-oh shit oh fuck oh shit (shes right tho)
-me: ok nightow now i really want to know what elendira is-
nightow with a gun: i said dont worry about it :)
-oh yes queen you fucking go ily sm
-oh shit oh ok so he still has his head, right
-damn you could say thats was the...final nail...to the coffin....*ba dum tsss*
chap 6:
-good to see razlo experiencing the human emotion called fear, get humbled
-interesting that skill ISNT enough. like razlo was cocky cuz yeah hes powerful af not because he had won many fights before. so if skill isnt enough then what is
-NOT THE WOLFWOOD FLASHBACK
-YESSSS
-something something my man refuses to be crucified, something something the power of change
-OH HES BACK HI :3
-oh i love these kinds of combos sm (im not saying i think thats how happens irl, im just saying i enjoy it in fiction)
-LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO
-aw :c
-YEAHHHHHH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO >:D
-OOF OK THAT WAS GOOD SHIT
-you say that but youre bleeding queen
-razlo i kinda hate you cuz you killed him but no you cant leave now
-oh shit oh fuck no
chap 7:
-:c
-razlo and his methods were fucked, yes but its true that in the end it was to defend livio. in a world like that only razlo had his back
-..... :c
-geesus nightow, like thats junji ito kind of shit (imo)
-did it?????
-geesus christ thats a weapon
-.....im not really sure what just happened
-so is livio dead????
-NOPE HES HERE LETS GO YO
-oh shit i didnt...notice that....
-"and to him" STOP IT STOP IT
-wait-
-my queen no :c rip :c you were gorgeous
chap 8:
-NO GIRLY NOOOOOOOO :C
-oh god livio
-oh shit he knowssss
-bro pls leave my man alone, hes so tired
-pls dont mention his powers can act as a shield cuz that reminds me of the last time he did that :c
-omg its livio the teenager
-hes ok its fine
-"psst...pssst....can you stfu" XDDD
-GEESUS BRO OK. YOU WANT TO GET CUT IN HALF THAT BADLY HUH
-the chaos :c the destruction :c the russian doll :c
-LEGATO NO
-HOW
-ALSO I THINK HERE IS WHEN VASH'S COAT TURNS BLACK SOMEHOW RIGHT????? i was never sure
-stop iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
chap 9:
-damn legato, dont look cool while youre trying to kill my son
-legato stoooooooooooop
-STOP IT VASH NO PLS, ALSO THE WAY NIGHTOW DREW THAT FLASHBACK???? LEAVE ME ALONE OLD MAN???
-funny enough until this point legato hasnt said anything about "breaking his spirit" so vash is just really feeling the choice coming at him, quickly, maybe too quickly
-wait whats happening?
-oh...oh :c (ALSO ORANGE IF YOU INCLUDE THAT IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU. LIKE IT WOULD MAKE SENSE CUZ VASH GOES AROUND HEALING PLANTS BUT STILL. SHUT UP ORANGE)
-"he might be the key for communication" yeah...wouldnt that be nice
-"and you knives, i will never forgive you" get in line
-you just cant ask "what kind of person vash is" cuz you either get a 5 hour lecture or 2 hours of ugly crying
-"i believe in how he chose to live his life" while vash is in the same shape as wet paper
trimax meryl "i believe in how he chose to live his life"
🤝 98 wolfwood "i see, so thats how you live. thats how you choose to live"
the sadddest and maybe kinda stupid decision ever, but in the end imagine being able to choose that after so much trauma. imagine not giving yourself to hate and fear
-oh shit :0 he shot the little box
-go go go GO GO GO
-AH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
NEXT ONE IS THE LAST ONE HOLY CRAP
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#im gonna miss the bookclub#i will be busy so idk when i will be able to participate again#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#trigunbookclub
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Thirsts are open???? yeee
I am. down bad for so many of the genshin men, i am ace but i am so horny for these fictional men, I want to be a slut for them and degraded and praised
Currently my favs are Wrio and Neuvi, each give off different lovely dom vibes, one more rough and mean one more softer and gentle, I want their hands on me, I want their cocks filling me up, I want them both seperatly going at me in their offices. I feel like a bitch in heat and i just barkabrkabarkbark
And you mentioned a gangbang with all the genshin men, fuck yeah, thats so hot, getting filled with so many cocks, every one of the different in how they fuck, just so many cocks from so many different handsome men doting on you, degrading you, loving you, needing your sweet body and only yours because no one else is like you, borderline obsessive and they have to share you because no one else could satisfy them like you and guh
i want 20+ handsome sexy men to just. go to town on me. fill me from every hole. Love my body. fill me up. claim me.
I would like to be 🌹anon please lolol
also im glad i followed you, i love the fics youve written so far hehe, please keep up the good work
first, thank u for ur kind words <3
but my god i am literally SO horny for the mean dom wriothesely and soft dom neuvillette combo…
imagine wriothesely going at it so hard; he’s pounding his cock into you at such speeds its almost like he hasn’t been in your cunt for years. his hands are gripping your waist and fucking you onto his own cock like his personal fleshlight. “yeah, you like that, slut?”
“don’t be so rough with her,” neuvillette would chime in, making wriothesely move aside as he takes over. neuvillette would be more sensual, rolling his hips and fucking into you slowly, but his cock hits your insides so deep you start seeing stars.
“oh loosen up neuvillette, i’m sure she likes it, hm?” wriothesely would tease, using your mouth for his own pleasure.
PLEASE literally. just want to sit down after being fucked dumb by all of them and let them all jerk off and drench me in their cum at the same time 🤭 my ultimate dream as they all groan while they release their seed
them getting lowkey jealous of whoever’s the one using your cunt, they can’t help but want to fit another cock inside. ‘you can take it, can’t you?’ they’d say, stuffing your holes full.
and ofc u can be 🌹anon!!
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[Its just me ramblin about the new chapter you dont have to post this or even read this... this got longer than intended]
'Fuck'
Thats what I said out loud when I read the scene with dear mom cause damn even I was flabbergasted. Like I read the random crumbs from Patreon readers so I thought I could handle it but... I could not.
Honestly, if it was me, I dont think I could handle a conversation with her after the prison break, I would probs be balling my eyes out behind my friends, my buddies, my homies [I wanted to read the friendship scenes] cause that was one hell of a talk I would not willingly be in. Like she only thought about fixing the relationship when she saw you in Ishari. AND she brought her kid with her!!! How could you do that??!?! You didnt speak to your kid for 20 YEARS and you thought it was the best time to introduce each other.
It may sound weird but I also never thought Ahlf was a bad dad. He just seemed like a regular asian dad to me. Emotionally constipated, but at least still tries to push thru the constipation you know. Doesn't really succeed but he broke out a sweat. A+ for effort.
My god, Salyra... How was it possible to never even mention your kid in 20 years? I couldnt even shut up about my dog to some random strangers. And it wasn't even my dog, it was my neighbours! The best shih tzu you could ask for honestly. So glad 7 year old me took shitty photos of her that ended up being developed by accident and till this day is still stored in my family photo album.
I dont think I would be able to sit thru the meeting with Salyra there lmao, I probs would bring Crown in as my emotional support animal. Maybe he can give Salyra a good hard glare for making MC go thru this shit.
I wonder how our family in Vinia would take the information? Damn, author you really made me go thru so much in one chapter. You really did a great job writing. I'm sorry for this long ass post, I forgot it's 1 Feb and didn't prepare myself emotionally.
I shall read and answer this because I do love rambling myself 😋😆
I really do love complicated parents in fiction and I really wanted people to realise that not everything is quite clear cut, especially since for many, Ahlf was the somewhat worse of the parents considering his reluctance in becoming a father.
Salyra definitely made mistakes and in a way, she might be a little too hopeful for a huge happy reunion with the MC. She isn't quite aware of what the NC went through, so all she sees is just an older version of the 5 year old child she left behind 😅
You definitely will get to see the Vinia family react to Salyra by Part 3 😊 They'll all be feeling some sort of way, mostly the MC's uncle because Salyra's decision to remain in Ishari routine really hit him hard 👀
Thank you for the long post!
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Alright for the freaks who are oldschool Supernatural tumblr people, or just normal supernatural people, and for the rest who are just like me and don't know shit: I'm dumping all my garbo takes under the cut.
Mostly gonna be me either being really enamored or really upset.
No in-between. These things are either great or the worst. My tastes are specific and I'm picky with vampire fiction and rarely do I find media that ticks the boxes yet, I still watch almost anything I can find obsessively.
Who knows maybe this'll become a new casual TV series if I like the dynamics. Anyway, long post warning under the cut.
They got Bela Lugosi's Dead playing in a room full of nu-metal heads LMFAO
truly the alt communities have always been done so dirty in media
least they did their research on song choices
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jesus christ
flashbacks to my steampunk phase circa 2011
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I LOVE that this woman looks so normie and looks so delighted when she meets this equally normie looking dude in an alternative bar (i want to go there the people seem chill and the vibes are impeccable)
anyway who is this guy he seems familiar
love that they made the most normal dude in the bar the real monster good on them :)
christ they just took one look at twilight and went yeah lets TV parody this shit just for a laugh didnt they
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE'S 17
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(DID SHE HAVE A FAKE ID I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION)
OK ok ok you get big bonus points just for this bit. Just for this bit.
Thank you supernatural go off
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"I'm just scared I'm dreaming and I'll wake up in math class" girl me too
im sorry this woman looks so much older than 17
POINTS DEDUCTED
POINTS DEDUCTED
BAD TEETH
great eyes, horrendous teeth. very dissapointed. I'm only here for the fucked up canines because we already HAVE them and whats better than perverting the existing human form into something subtly wrong
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This show has such an aggressive title screen compared to buffy and the x files LMAO
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ok i can get behind the chevvy, the chevvy is nice
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
POINTS ADDED - holy shit points added for this cheesy poster alone really capturing the schtick of the late 2000s
ok i get it, i get it guys, they're fun, they're funny, they've got a great sibling energy, the periodic 'screaming' happening in the background of this scene is sending me
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this has been too fun so far i feel like somethings gonna ruin it
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ok this is so self aware yet the degree they're committing is just.
its marvelous. this is peak. I'm into it.
there are so many ads please i want to see dean have a bad day
Holy shit is that Skinner from the x files i love that guy
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the fashion. iconic. if anything I'll be coming back to this for inspiration for myself.
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the way Dean just slammed that guy on the car yelling "OPEN YOUR MOUTH"
yeah instant favourite.
you've rounded a corner, a dude has just beat the shit out of your brother and now he's about to force feed him blood and your response is: stand there staring like the shocked pikachu
oh so you wait till after he's done to scream "no!" in a half hearted tone
is there something I'm missing here, i know Sam gets a bit cooked at some point (does he get possessed??? idk) so I'm gonna assume thats whats going on
this is the best 'turning' scene I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing in all my years of trawling through vampire media
holy shit the team that wrote this episode fucking get it
the audio design, the acting, is so on point
Supernatural Crew you cooked so hard and I'm deeply thanking you for it
this was fucking made for me what the fuck what the fruck what the fuck what the fuc
Nooooo dont have an emotional breakdown in the bathroom looking at your fangs, but you're so sexy aha
The constant heartbeats anytime Deans in a room with someone got me grinning like :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
ok points deducted, again, for bad teeth but my god
the "I gotta go-" scene GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT
someone get this kicked puppy a sippy cup
a red fanta chug jug
where is his sippy cup
look i know its probably not fun, at all, to drink red mystery meat juice on set but its gotta be cheaper than CGI teeth. Please.
Please let more relunctant vampires reluctantly chug jug (with you)
Oh Never Mind they wrote it in that he can't drink or he's stuck >:(
im still having a good time, just a bit less of a good time
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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using a large serrated knife to cut appart a horde of vampires seems like a great idea and getting covered in blood you're not supposed to drink is inevitable
but watch out
Sam: thats a pretty mentally stable thing to do
I REALLY WANT TO
CHUG JUG WITH YOU
ok this scene of him makes up for the lack of authentic blood chug jug I'll take what I can get
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Ok final thoughts: that was a solid 7 and a half out of 10
thank you Supernatural you hit almost all the high notes when most stuff falls flat for me. Still, you came soooooooooo close. And got so far. And Yet in the end it doesnt even matter.
Still, this one's going straight to the pool room, and I can comfortably say I'm throwing it on the shelf of 'comfort media' that I can go back to on a bad day.
This had some fucking BANGER scenes that surpassed my expectations and deeply pleasantly surprised me. Good shit! As someone who is hard to please, this was a riot. Still; a shame they arbritrarily rules-d him taking a chunk out of someone. Would have been sick. Could have had the great slow build up of the initial turning scene - him and the love interest, holding back - then him cracking it after holding out and snapping.
It is not too much to ask, I swear. It's a good trope.
Do I dare take the risk of trawling through fanfiction to find another horribly specific weirdo like me, because Supernatural seems huge and a scary place to fanfic trawl.
#shy talks#not art#supernatural#tagging for archivals sake#but im not about to go crazy here#i hope#fuck it fanfic trawl time pray for me
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I’m curios to ask (If it’s alright, feel free not if you don’t want to) what makes Underlust your fave Au?
Oh this is a great question! There are a lot of reasons!! Longpost under the cut. Forgive me, i typed this on my phone and i just woke up.
One is the designs. I fucking adore everyones designs! Sans is damn cute! Papyrus is cute! Napstablook is cute! MTT is cute! Grillby is cute! The color palettes and slight deviations that make them unique are all just Artistically Good and they hit me somewhere nice in the visual appeal part of my brain.
Another reason is that I just love the canon story! I mean, yeah, its really dark and tragic what happened to Mettaton. But the point of the story is that he overcomes it. He is able to heal. The story tells us that you can heal even after you get hurt that badly and it doesnt have to define you and thats wonderful and beautiful and something too many people legitimately need to hear.
And the RELATIONSHIPS!! MTT and Papyrus talk it out and have a relationship that isnt based in physicality they just genuinely love each other. And Papyrus is so clearly Ride or Die. It's just GREAT okay? And the Sansby is ALSO GREAT because Sans and Grillby are awkward and never talk until Sans does his drunken confesssion and Grillbz is just like oh god i love this dumb idiot drunk this is my life now.
And MTT and Alphys also have a great relationship! They are close enough to make Girl Talk even after what happened! Alphys knows cuz she patched MTT up but they're still making sass at each other! GREAT!!
Papyrus and Undyne have a great relationship!!! She doesn't infantilize him and admits he is good at the sex part of the job, she just thinks he is too clingy and romance driven to keep himself detached enough for work. And thats a legitimate concern! For his well being and the clients both!
Sans and Papyrus's relationship is great!! There is clearly a standard set of platonic affection being shared between them. They talk and joke and sass and tease each other. Theyre brothers and its great.
(did the creator draw a lot of underlust fontcest too? yes. yes she did. and that was also great. but these are two separate things and even without the obvious -gestures- "theyre fictional skeleton monsters, dont be weird", its also addressed that the fontcest part is not something to model irl.)
And i like to headcanon blooky and sans are friends even though they never interacted in the canon material we got. i like to think they would have eventually if it wasn't discontinued.
I love how the humans are adults and frisk is aroace. i'm afraid of children so having an AU where the humans are all canonically adult is great to me.
I love Toriel and Asgore's relationship. It is tragic what happened to them, but I think it's important that stories not always shy away from that kind of hurt. Some people need stories like that too.
I love Rosie the Rose's design and concept in general.
I also love the LUST mechanic. I love that there is an AU where sex is a prominent, plot relevant, societally prevalent and important thing. I love that as an Asexual, myself. It allows me to explore that topic safely, while having fun. I love how its treated as a both natural (meaning its normal and not gross or weird) and unnatural (not meant for monsters, specifically, under normal circumstances) thing. I love how it is defined as a Very Human thing, and what that can mean to me when analyzed and juxtaposed against the narrative foil to the idea that we are given in Frisk the Asexual.
I kinda love that the whole thing is 80% shitposts and pieces the creator made while just having fun living their best life. Yes the papyton comic, which is the meat of the canon, was done seriously, but so much was made of just the characters having fun being themselves and thats pretty cool too.
I know there is a lot of bad publicity around underlust. I know people have spread terrible rumors about it. I frankly dont care. I know it is a beautiful story made from beautiful art. wherever its creator is now i wish her the best in the world. It is my favorite AU (aside from my own lol) and nobody can change my mind.
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Ten Characters, Ten Fandoms, Ten Tags
Tagged by the wonderful @slxsherwriter
(This is going to be rough...I need ten for every genre...)
Sons of Anarchy: Chibs Duh (Though Galen is a VERY close second...see I'm breaking the rules already!)
Game of Thrones: Daenerys (Plays with dragons)
Shadow and Bone: The darkling (Another duh. Everyone else is just running around being all righteous and he's like "Yeah okay saved us from a genocide but I guess I'M the bad guy here")
Six of crows: Nina (I'm going to cheat and say Nina in the books because I love her, her snack obsession, and the way that her powers went buck wild and let her take control of the dead)
American Gods: Mad Sweeny (All hail the angry Leprchan)
The Walking Dead: Negan (I mean did anyone keep watching for anything besides him?)
Lovecraft Country: Ruby (I feel like Ruby was such a good study on being a woman and her character was so under rated)
Justified: Boyd Crowder (I mean if you dont love boyd for all his fucked up-ness I dont even know what to say)
Star gate: Daniel Jackson (One of the first times I realized I was just super attracted to pasty white nerds.)
Good Omens: Gabriel (Okay but the fact that he thought that they were the same kids taken out of the rib and was like "Oh yeah thats definetly how its done. I've seen it happen")
There are so many more but ya know....Can I do one just on action, just on books, just on fantasy, just on horror, just on sci-fi, just on historical fiction?
Tagging: All of you!
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im gonna rant abt the therapy toipic im bringing tmrw
i think the trauma i have with men, growing up, being molested, strangled, locked in a box, constantly threatened with death, torture, generally awful things has caused me to completely feel unsafe as a woman in general. along with me being groomed for about 6 years straight, protecting him, his pedophilia towards me etc it really, really fucked me up. and i use masculinity as a shield, to convince myself and my inner child that im so strong and scary that nobody would ever want to find me desirable enough for anything, to hurt me. and while i appreciate that part of me, it causes me to freeze. my obsession with getting stronger, more masculine doesnt come from a place where it feels like my actual identity - more so a defense mechanism that isnt really uhhh helping me lol. like i dont need to do that anymore, i dont need to hide. I want to be feminine in fact when im in the proper head space i love it, i love frills, skirts, dresses, flowers and lace and it feels like ME like truly ME i want to be a mother, to be a wife, and a doting one at that can u believe it? but bc of my ptsd, and the constantly feeling of being in survival mode, i cant live. i cant allow myself nice things, fun things especially, no intimacy, no sex, no vulnerability and those are all HUMAN things like thats what humans are made for - human connection and i, my masculine side that is protecting me the way a father should have (yeesh) is not allowing any of this to get close to me and its insufferable, truly. i want to love and let myself be loved, but i honestly truly fucking cant. and its annoying. bc then im like oohhhh im so crazyyy im a sociopath hahahehe when its like um... no ur not... i feel guilt, i feel shame, i feel bad, and i get genuine enjoyment from being good and doing good for the sake of making some random person believe there is love and goodness in this world. its a loop. a bloody one and my feet bleed from walking it. i find comfort in these big military fictional men because i like to pretend to mirror my masculine side to them, i project onto them. because nobody would ever hurt them again, and they have the go ahead to kill anyone who does where as I, a real human, do not (lol) i hope that someday i can see myself as someone worthy, where ill be safe enough to allow my true self out, my soft side, my scared side. I deserve to feel those feelings, and i say this yet i do not feel it. but i know it. logically. because i am to detached from my real human feelings, instead im a robot, trying desperately to live for myself like a real girl. and its tiring. very tiring. i feel like a fake, a fraud, and so disconnected that i dont even care about it anymore, but for little me, i do care. and for the sake of whatever children i hope to fucking god im able to have in the far far future, i want to be present with them and be happy, and prove to myself that while i can help people believe in love and goodness, i can do it for myself eventually.
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i hate that i see one gifset of stsc and my whole body just. locks up. and starts shaking. i hate that i immediately feel like im going to die. im not in danger oh my god im just. im just looking at a fictional robot and my body makes me react as if i have to run. run from what??? im so tired of feeling so nauseous and dizzy and angry every single day. my god i miss stsc more than anything. loving ken is great but it is not the same. nothing is the same. i have come to truly hate TF with my entire being, even tho TF didnt hurt me, it was someone i associated with TF. but i am so bitter about what happened to me and i wish the franchise never existed bc then i never would have met my abuser. but at the same time i miss TF so badly i just want to be able to look at an insignia without crying, or think of a flower meadow without my heart breaking, or listen to the 400 songs collecting dust on my TF playlist. my god there is so much music i miss, but every time i listen to a song on that playlist, my brain just associates it with my TF ships and then i miss them too badly and i cant enjoy the music for what it is. i have tried associating them with ken. i have tried associating them with barbie. it doesnt work. the furthest ive gotten is associating 7 out of 200 megakeri songs with patrickeri but !!! thats just!!! 7 songs!!! out of!!! two!!! hundred!!!!!
i dont know how to explain it to someone who doesnt get triggered but its literally like... spikes of adrenaline shooting through my body and making me shake every time i see something related to TF or even something that would remind me of a TF selfship i had. and my breathing either becomes very short or i just hold my breath entirely. and i start sweating and my body locks up and there's this urge to run, to hide, to call for help, but i cant do any of that, i just freeze up. and like lol thats so stupid bro. ill see a color and it triggers me, ill see a honeybee and i start crying, i see a flower meadow, or like. just. the word starlight. or hearing a song that reminds me of my TF ships. i miss them all so fucking badly. i see hailee steinfeld and it hurts so bad bc i loved her the most in the bumblebee movie, i loved charlie so dearly, she was one of my favorite main f/os years ago, now its like... i just have such a horrible horrible horrible association with charlie and bee and TF in general and i . dont know. how to reclaim that. and seeing them makes my body react like "you're gonna die holy shit" just automatically. immediately. i cannot control it. it just happens. it sucks.
steve blum hugged me so so so tight just days ago and said stsc would never hurt me. like three times. and that stsc misses me and loves me. growled it, as if stsc was truly enraged for being ripped away from me. and yet my brain is still like... numb. i watch the video with steve and im numb. he hugged me tightly and rubbed my back and, like, okay great i didnt have any "oh my god im gonna die" feelings when he was voicing stsc for me, but i was just... numb. totally shut down. i didnt expect seeing him again to fix me, but i was hoping so terribly that it would do something. anything. but i am tired of feeling this way and i want to try to do something about it even if theres almost nothing i can really do except try my fucking best one day at a time
i think one of my main problems is ive spent three years LOVING TF, feeling good with it, la la la. and then BAM about nine-ish months of being isolated with someone who ruined my fucking life. now spent about 16-ish months looking at TF whether it's a gifset or a photo or even just a flower that reminds me of a character or something, then having a trigger reaction where im crying/vomiting/hyperventilating, and then disengaging with TF entirely and spending days trying to come down from being triggered. for over a year, i have been unintentionaly training myself to believe i cannot look at TF. like. i am unable to ground myself when im triggered, i am supposed to say "ok im scared right now but he would never hurt me" or whatever. but i havent been able to do that, i just get triggered and immediately try to get away from whatever i saw that triggered me, and its wired my brain to believe TF is genuinely something to avoid.
i think i need to get into the habit of drawing myself with a TF character at least... once every two weeks. or once a week if i am able to. but i cannot just sit here, missing TF every day, get triggered if i see it, and then avoid it and then cry about avoiding it, and the cycle continues. i cannot keep fucking doing that. dude there has to be a way for me to fix myself. i need to train my brain to believe its gonna be ok even if it takes a long ass time. and then the next time i meet steve blum maybe ill feel? better? cmon, if the voice actor can hug me and say stsc would never hurt his little starflower and my brain doesnt believe that, then there is something else i gotta do. i cant just sit here and feel bad!!!! i have tried several forms of therapy and then i ran outta money, i have tried watching the shows but got a BAD reaction out of that, i tried commissioning ppl to draw myself with TF characters but it's done nothing but waste my money bc i cannot look at the pics, i have tried talking to friends about TF and associating it with them, but none of this shit has worked. but you know what did genuinely make me feel better back when this was really fresh? me drawing myself with TF characters and people commenting nice things about it. me posting drawings of me with stsc and people writing a nice tag or a nice comment. that helped the most. i need to get back into the habit of doing that even if i just get one (1) nice comment, i know it will make a difference. nice comments have always made a significant difference for me whether it's my inbox or dms or replies, any time someone shows me kindness, it helps a lot. and maybe if i just. keep. doing that. i can slowly but surely condition myself to believe again that im safe when i see TF. because i am. i am safe and i am loved and i am missed even if i dont believe that at ALL i know it's there even if i'm completely numb to it
my goal isnt even to hyperfixate on TF again. its to just... be indifferent to it, god that is the best case scenario for me right now, realistically. i just want to not be immediately triggered. i'll have reactions with ken or driver sometimes where i'm like "what if they hurt me" but that's not a trigger. i dont feel like im going to die when i look at them. but i feel like im going to die when i look at TF and im so sick of that. lol im done with that. fuck that. i shall take matters into my own hands. even if it takes years i am NOT giving up!!! no matter how many times i cry and scream and stress vomit and jolt awake from nightmares and make vent posts saying "its hopeless ill never ever ever reclaim them" i WILL fucking reclaim them i dont care if it takes me until im 90 years old!!!!!!!!! i hate living like this and i KNOW if i keep kicking and thrashing eventually something's gotta give. i cannot just lay here on the ground and cry. i gotta get up and scream the entire time and claw my way out of this deep dark depressing pit so i can eventually get out. what is that saying - fake it til you make it??? well ill keep drawing myself being so so so loved by these characters, and faking it until i finally fucking MAKE IT
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