#it makes me so sick

[completelymindfucked]

#samdean #wincest #i miss them #please please please #they deserved so much better #the way sam looks at him #hurts my heart #blurry wife should of been Dean #sobbing #I’m physically I’ll #it makes me so sick

[kastlequill]

with every passing day, being middle eastern is realizing more and more just how many people do not view you as a person whose right to life and happiness should also be protected.

im so glad to see the support for palestine in these past few weeks like never before, but i hope it isnt the case again of a short period of loud noise from the world then silence just because they get tired. ive seen that all too many times as an iranian american, and its frustrating since we cannot so easily move on from these atrocities the way others can; we are trapped.

i truly hope the world continues to put on more and more pressure until palestine is free. do not grow tired; do not grow silent. everyone should know and remember exactly what palestinians have endured and are continuing to endure for almost a century. everyone should know and remember well what has not been stopped by the inhumans who walk among us. it is the bare minimum.

#it makes me so sick #but we have always known this in my household; every middle eastern has watched this go on for far too long #the rest of the world is waking up but how sickening it is to see those who remain blinded by their hate and prejudice #our governments fail us; our civilization has gone rotten #palestine

[nanamimizz]

people who use ai to make deepfake porn of women should be drawn and quartered and then be executed publicly

#lamb.talks #it makes me so sick

[lvstharmony]

i was on the phone with a friend yesterday and she told me that her school forbids the students to talk about isra*el and the genocide happening in palestine or else there will be criminal prosecutions??? but the topic ukraine and russia was casually and frequently talked about 🤡

#If they receive several admonitions they will be suspended from school #it makes me so sick

[smallboyonherbike]

clearly i'm posting too much bc i'm loafing around on a sunday and a bit bored but famously i basically never cook anything more complicated than eggs, and i'm not gonna suddenly cook elaborate recipes every meal but slowwwwly wanna dip into my moms recipes and some cookbooks like sad bastards for ppl who need to start w v basic things.

so far i've done french toast, banana quick bread, and today doing marinated cucumbers (hopefully they turn out okay my moms recipe was like try any of these huge range of proportions so i went for the middle). and next i wanna try this barefoot contessa mustard roasted onions and potatoes.

hoping the nostalgia of doing recipes my mom would make often, and also already knowing what it should taste like will help me along. like i know that following a recipe isn't actually hard and i would help my mom with cooking all the time growing up but having the spoons to get ingredients and plan and cook instead of just being starving and getting takeout or eating random bullshit such as a bagel or frozen pizza is SO much. so gonna wiggle my way in with trying things out on the weekend. however idk if i'll ever feel okay cooking meat it just scares me lmao like i'm not vegetarian but if it's not like precooked frozen i'm convinced i'm gonna poison myself.

#megamazing #food tw #like i don't wanna claim i'm gonna keep this up bc i struggle w that #also trying to get back into doing yoga regularly but it's just hard to find a good time of day #i walk squishy before work and after work i'm hungry and i don't wanna work out after i eat #it makes me so sick #ANYWAYS just gonna do my thing

[valiisthea]

When Harpocrates says he will await Dion's return but he hesitates and his voice wavers slightly.....

I die. He just. He knows. And he knows Dion will die before he will be able to accept his gift. And I weep.

#ffxvi spoilers #ff16 spoilers #i literally weep #it makes me so sick

[cgogs]

Im sorry but the sheer thought of briar coming back home from a long adventure to return nettle (the sister he never wanted, the final straw that broke his and mom's connection) safely to her parents (HIS parents first) and just jtdktxjtzitxegagdsh nettle keeps saying dream is dying and briar just having a very spiteful but horrifically sad thought "i knew sam would kill him sooner or later" like KILL MEEEEE FUCK

NO THATS EXACTLY WHAT HES THINKINGGGG THATS EXACTLY IT like he thinks sam did something Bad. Nettle eventually tells him hes just really, really sick and they cant figure out whats wrong. Ok thats easy, sam ruined his immune system. Hes getting older. Its been 15 years. Come on.

And he keeps this hardened persona towards his mom until hes standing on the hill looking at his house and his little sister lets go of his hand to go running down yelling for her daddy and he realizes his mom is RIGHT THERE and sam is killing him whether literally or not. Hes got to go.

#IT MAKES ME SO SICK #like the broken sense of family here is absolutely insane

[slydiddledeedee]

I just can’t stop thinking about hind. How can anyone ignore what’s happening, how can anyone justify it. And hind is just one of ones we know. She was just a baby.

#it makes me so sick

[little-sad-lamb]

absolutely disgusted at how the guy who raped me and sexually abused me for an entire year lives his life so peacefully, like nothing happened

#tw rape #tw sa #it makes me so sick #how he gets to live his life. while i still have nightmares about it #fuck him. honestly. i hope he suffers

[witchblade]

#IT MAKES ME SO SICK

[genderstudiessam]

seeing the use of the bunker in later seasons would make kripke turn in his grave

#it makes me so sick #ugly and soulless

[satiricaily]

there's just. no energy left in me i haven't eaten anything since yesterday haven't spoken to anyone can't even bring myself to do anything ive used up all my energy just crying and crying and trying to feel better just trying so hard to do everything that's not crying just forcing myself to stop imagining how he was in his last moments how lonely it must have been god it's so terribly hard

#we took care of his mother before he was even born then she entrusted him with us #he didn't even reach his 5th birthday yet #it makes me so sick #makes me want to wake up and find out it was all just one real nightmare #i loved him so much i loved him i loved him i want to see him again and tell him i loved him #i miss him so much #feel paralysed right now w how much i miss him

[daisychains111]

Thalia doesn’t keep many things in the hundreds of years she’s been alive. 

But long ago, there were people, their names all but distant memories, who mattered in her 1st lifetime. It’s their things that stay hidden in her bag, reminding her of her mortal life. 

A blue hoodie, worn almost threadbare. The scent of its original owner, long since leached from the fabric. But if she closes her eyes, she can almost see the blue eyes of her first and only love. 

A pair of glasses. Frames cracked and crooked. A reminder of a brother she never got to truly know. 

A baseball cap. It’s magic long faded, branded with a forgotten logo. Memories of a blonde girl laughing hidden deep within. 

A letter. Ink fading, paper yellow. The last words of a dying friend. Words that wish her well, words that wished her well in a world they had fought side by side to save. 

Thalia doesn’t keep a lot of things, but even after all this time, Luke, Jason, Annabeth, and Percy will stay with her forever. The memories of her first family to remind her why life is so beautiful.

#I know i forgot grover but i cant think of anything for him #percy jackon and the olympians #percabeth #percy jackson #percy and annabeth #annabeth chase #thaluke #thalia grace #pjo thalia #jason grace #hunters of artemis #thalia grace is my current roman empire #someday she'll live so long that she'll forget their names and their voices and that makes me physically sick #thaluke were doomed by the narritive #this is sad sorry

[translucetize]

i just got my celiac plexus nerve block done for MALS and omg i've never had a bad reaction to anesthesia but i was sooo nauseous and had ibs issues after wth i hope this works and is worth if. however i will probably just want the MALS surgery even if this gets rid of my symptoms bc this was not fun at all

#i'd have to do it every 6 months if it works #and also if it works get a second nerve block done w a different material? #the doctor is awesome but he only does blocks starting at 1pm #and i have a metabolic disease and pots #so not eating after midnight until 2pm the next day is like no good for me #even at my lowest weight and worst anno behaviors i neeeever fasted #it makes me so sick

[im-tempted]

I've actually never recovered from the video of Wilbur singing los campansinos in that big coat next to the water

#it makes me so sick #adam fucking around

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop