#it makes me soooo upset to think about

[achingly-shy]

thinking about everyone hating on sabine for giving baylan the map and choosing ezra over the safety of the galaxy....like did we all just forget "EVERYTHING i did was for FAMILY for MANDALORE"

#like i absolutely love when people take something soooo important to a character and just ignore it #sabine cares about her family so much and ezra is family to her hera is family to her kanan was family to her zeb is family to her chopper #is family to her even jacen is now family to her #the ghost crew is her family!!!! especially since they wrote her bio family out of the narrative (still upset about that one though) #and obviously i emphasized 'mandalore' because it's emphasized in the quote obviously that doesn't have anything to do with ezra #but like if we're going to be hating on something from the ahsoka series #let's not hate on sabine's actions let's hate on arguably trash writing (in the majority of places) #but!!!! her giving baylan the map is not trash writing in my opinion because it makes sense!! it's what she would do!! it's what any of the #would do for each other in the end!! hell it's what i would do for any member of the ghost crew <3 #geo rambles #sabine wren #don't know what exactly prompted me to go on a full rant here but i was watching drew gooden's sw video and he had some takes so it #got me thinking about all this again #also sometimes characters have to make tragic choices that doom everyone else to save the people they love and i think that is fucking #poetic and cinema and chef's kiss and i eat it up every time

[running-in-the-dark]

help I can't stop thinking about furniture. it's keeping me from thinking about the other way more important things I need to be thinking about (Jenkins, Dan Fielding, etc.)

#I could have just said John Larroquette but. I didn't #but anyway kitchens are expensive furniture is expensive paint is expensive #if we were rich I would be having the best time of my life. I'd love moving to a new place. #I'm having the best time playing with my 3d model of the apartment like it's a doll house #BUT actually buying things in real life is hell and it makes me so sad #god. imagine all the furniture I could assemble if I had money... sigh #trying to think about my guys to fall asleep but the furniture won't let me. ugh. I love furniture so much. #I know we're going to ikea next week and it's so bad how stupidly excited I am about it #ikea was probably my first hyperfixation as a kid and I haven't liked anything else for this long (it's been like. 27 years lol) #I cannot be normal about it #I will get to build shelves. and put things in shelves. organise things. build our wardrobe (for the third time in three years) #whenever we buy the kitchen I'll get to build most of that and then organise it too #I'm soooo excited!! and this time I'm only like... slightly chronically ill! and I won't have two surgeries right after we move (I hope....) #so maybe I'll have enough energy that it won't be awful this time! #anyway #need to sleep it's 6:30 and I'm so tired but my brain won't shut up #also my cat. he is yelling at me. I don't know what he's trying to say but he's very upset apparently #personal

[paintedvanilla]

I feel really sick and ill about the guy at work who won’t take the hint actually like I’m home now sitting in my room and I feel Terrible. physically nauseous.

#like. I’m a recent manager I’m a very New manager #but even so. i was a manager when we hired him. #i was fresh like literally 3 weeks under my belt but even so #i interviewed and hired and trained him As His Manager #and he was super normal at first he would only ever text to ask questions about the job or the campus #but then he fucking. saw me on bumble. #so now he knows I’m single and available. #and actively looking for people. and he thinks he is people. #and he keeps asking me to hang out outside of work #he keeps talking to me about how at his last job he literally dated his boss #and like I’ve been joking about it up until now but it does not feel funny anymore it’s making me feel ill #bc today we worked a class together and afterwards I’m gathering my stuff and he was like #hey if you wanna hang out I’m down. I’m not doing anything. i get really bored and kinda lonely. wanna hang out? #and I was stunned into silence I didn’t know what to say I could tell he wanted me to commit to something Right That Second #and finally I just kept being like oh maybe. um maybe. idk maybe. #i felt soooo backed into a corner about it. and I was talking to juno and they pointed out. that he probably thinks I like him back #but I’m just shy. and/or deterred by being his manager. #and now that they’ve said that I 100% think that’s what’s happening and I’m so. I’m so. I’m so fucking upset about it. #i do not know what to do I think I might try to talk to our big boss about it but he’s just always so busy #i feel like an idiot #op

[angelicxi]

also not to to make vague and whining posts...but to make vague and whining posts, since I am actively sick and so dizzy I can barely stand upright for five minutes at a time, ergo sorely lack the required brainpower needed to express this w any of like, grace and precision, much less eloquence.

man oh man I am so fucking done with the way people approach art and media. how all of it is now perceived as "content" and the only metric by which they judge whether or not it is good is how hashtag relatable it is to the consumer, how the point of it is, or should be, as far as these people are concerned, to be Nice and Inoffensive and Digestible and About Me, The Specialest And Most Importantest Little Princeling, actually. how they perceive themselves as a customer, essentially. shopper weighing you, the artist / creative, like a product in his hands and tutting. and more than anything I loathe the incredibly dangerous entitlement bred by this attitude.

also, people have gotten waaaaayyyyyy too comfortable with just wandering into the DMs / inboxes of strangers they encounter at random on the internet with increasingly bizarre grievances. main character syndrome is sosososo real, deranged and common. I want to scream!! I AM screaming!!!!

#thinking again about that anon i got last night on ragewrites. genuinely found it so upsetting. #and genuinely so upset Once Again about hjghj just. god. yeah. it's one of those fucking days where i am tempted to just delete the blog #i love writing i truly do and of course i want people to read it but this is not that. taking a poem abt god and grief #and tagging it for your little fucking bg3 ships in a romantic sense...when i am talking about the way god took my brother and aunt from me #just fully having a fucking convo w your friend On The Post. not as a reply but On The Actual Post. as reblog comments. about how this #soooo fits your little ttrpg campaign...which like all fine really #if a poem makes u think about your ship wtv. but do you have to be weird about it where i the author fucking See It. #same w the little chat like...tumblr has an IM function. please use it. #and then that anon... #just so so so SO strange #i am not your fucking therapist and i am not your friend and i am also not some hollywood celebrity with a massive following #that you genuinely think you have the right to come to me and police my speech regardless of how nicely u word it #or how well-meaning your intentions were... #just. god

[natugood]

I have incomprehensible thoughts rn about how many classic American folk songs are kinda fucked up (and many are "sanitized" for modern listening to be less fucked up), and it's wild that we just, teach these songs to children without any context or anything? like, clementine is about a miner's daughter DROWNING TO DEATH as he watches helplessly? Old folks at home is a fucking RACIST AF ass song written by a white dude in the perspective of a slave who has been freed who misses his life on a plantation? when John Henry was sang by miners it often had ad-libbed, graphic lyrics about having sex with women at the end of the work day (as a way to motivate themselves and get them through the hell that was mining in the 1800s), and a lot of our modern versions are just super sanitized? like I get its hard to explain a lot of that shit to kids but like, its often never revisited and those songs are just left as sanitized, incoherent childhood introductions to America when they actually all have great amounts of value and history when put into context!!

#I will die on this hill that American folk music is an important part of history and it makes me sad it gets left behind and sanitized #its original meaning should not be incomprehensible and forgotten. even if it is extremely ugly and vile; or even if its really dark and sa #like in order for the country to reconcile with its evil and paiiiinful past we need to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and stop trying to sanitize it #anyways. fun facts clementine was a favorite song of mine as a child and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. and dont get me STARTED #ON OLD FOLKS AT HOME #that song is soooo racist but I learned it in a cello positions book so I didn't know the lyrics or context for YEARS after I learned it #and I always thought it was such a hauntingly beautiful song cause musically IT IS. SO GOOD. #but goddamn when I found out the lyrics and the context I was so fucking mad. thats some awful fucked up bullshit like I cant even begin #and idk it makes me upset to think about the context but also I think it really important we recognize that was really the true atmosphere #at the time and that was our country. Stephen foster is an American folk legend and he wrote that awful racist song. he is great at his art #form but is not separate from his place in time. he was a racist even if he was progressive at that moment in hisotry. #and that is our country. and idk like I think that that adds even more pain to that song and it makes it even more painful to listen to #and thats why we need to not forget it and listen to it to fucking remember and acknowledge how we got here and what we came from #I hate that song and I love that song but I hate it and ughhhhh I wish I hadn't learned it on cello and loved the melody for years #cause its gross af. but also like #its where we came from so I shouldn't hate our history cause thats ignorant and not productive #anwyays #googoogajoob

[bandsanitizer]

the way that it doesn’t just make me sad but angry that idols are expected to apologize not just for disappointing fans and their members but for harming them by so much as even having a dating rumor bc is it that bad they found love? or something that could become that? is it that bad for the people you supposedly love and support to be happy? yes I know the industry basically runs on the parasocial relationships but isn’t it high time to recognize that someone else’s happiness is not an attempt to ruin yours? that even if it is painful or difficult for you, that is not the responsibility of the idol. they should not need to apologize for their own happiness and events within their personal life which half the time come out as leaks (read: invasions of their privacy) rather than on their own time. and to go as far as to say it implies they don’t deserve their job or should leave their group… artists experiencing things in life? the emotions of affection and infatuation and love and endearment and everything else that comes with a romantic relationship? that’s only going to give them the capacity to create greater and more enriched art. i’m not saying they’re in a relationship to do (and I certainly hope not) but if you need any reason at all to refrain from causing these idols harm in the way you claim their happiness has so deeply harmed and disappointed you, then take it as them living. that life needs art and art needs life.

#i just 💪💪💪💪💪💪 #i actually don’t give a shit about if romance makes them a better artist tbh #i just think everyone deserves happiness and if they’re in a relationship then hooray for them #sick and tired of them needing to apologize for harming and disappointing fans #like the fact that dating rumors exist almost at the same levels as WAY MORE MESSED UP SHIT TO DO is absolutely gdkshckksjfjjdbfk angering #this is mostly about people’s reactions to josh but just in general tbh #esPECIALLY when it comes from leaks or like ‘so and so was seen in this blurry ass photo with a GIRL’ and i’m just!!!!! #fans be like ‘i’d be okay if they were private about it and didn’t rub it in our face’ #like bby!!!! people taking pics of them on dates when they got have their face covered and didn’t consent to the photo that got plastered #all over the internet is not them being obnoxious about it!!! it’s an invasion of their privacy #like fuck don’t you think it’s painful for the artist to know the expected norms and HAKFHKDJFKDJ i can’t even complete the sentence it make #me soooo upset just like !!!!!!!!!!!! and this isn’t even just the kaypahp industry #western fandom toooooooo but gfksjfksjfjsjfjjd BYE #alison speaks? #probably to delete #OHHHH and the idea that their members are upset about them dating too i just!!!!!!!!😤😤😤😤

[mymarifae]

i understand that the way language arts is taught makes the whole study of literature and narratives and themes and such seem like a boring, pointless endeavor. but it is so important to me and my sanity that you pay attention to the information presented to you in those classes. because it is integral. you will never be able to approach art in any form and come to your own, unadulterated conclusions and interpretations. you will not recognize propaganda when it is being spoonfed to you. and you will not understand that yes, the messages of the media and the art you consume do in fact subtly change your psyche and that’s why you can’t just blindly consume shit

#like you know the whole argument with the blue curtains example. 'the blue curtains symbolize the character's sadness' vs #'the curtains are fucking curtains.' #<- that latter viewpoint upsets me soooo fucking much because like oh my god you are missing the point #perhaps the author or the artist or whatever did not intentionally include blue curtains to symbolize sadness #in fact it's pretty likely that it wasn't intentional at all because that's just how creating art works #the POINT is you can draw out details to support the overall themes and messages and make them stronger and come to your own conclusions #different people will hone in on different details. that's the beauty of art. #you don't need any sort of 'correct' interpretation spoonfed to you and you should not expect it #so like. yeah the curtains might just be fucking curtains but how does approaching them as a Symbol affect our understanding of the story? #does the character open the curtains to let in the sunshine - thus freeing themself from their sadness? #or do they close the curtains and hide in the dark - trapping themself in the same miserable cycles? #sometimes things are just things to populate the empty spaces of a story and you don't necessarily need to think about them #but you Can think about them and that will make your experience all the more richer. #anyway.this whole thing means like a fucking lot to me 😂 #i'm pursuing the career i am without caring about the difficulties and the dangers because i want to do what i can to be like. #a good fucking high school language arts teacher. and to properly impart the value and the IMPORTANCE of these lessons.

[ikyw-t]

I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............

#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about #ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week #ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating #bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on #and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class #oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread #also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking #about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out #and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march #and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day #bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him #and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity. #it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent #again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this #feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies. #while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts #uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose #also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now. #gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia. #sorry if u read all this 😵‍💫

[biolums]

why not mewhynot me whynotme whynotMEwhy Not Mewhy not me whynot me whynotme Whynot me WHYNOTME why not me. why not me

#irls please dont read this. sorry #im so overwhelmed rn. and i fucking feel like im going to die #like yes we all know im soooo unlovable that nothing new but god. i just want to be intimate and have someone be my safe space again #i KNOW its unhealthy and its not like its ever gonna happen again. but its all i can fucking dream of #i wwnt to be all someone thinks about just like how i always think about them. maybe i just want to be equals in a relationship. because #CLEARLY my last relationship i was the only one feeling anything!! and CLEARLY I PUT ALL THE FUCKING WORK IN AND I LOVED SO HARD. AND #IT WASNT EGEN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IT WAS THE HEALTHIEST ONE IVE EVER BEEN IN. BUT IM STILL TOO MUCH 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #even now i cant think about that too much because i literally think were soulmates. and its Too Upsetting to think about that #when she broke up with me and said ‘i had a lot of fun with you’. we dated for 11 months. you met my family. donyou know how mucch ghat #CRUSHED me #i was doing so well. and i was having healthy relationship thoughts! and i was telling myself that i was just insecure those last few weeks. #and then i fucking spiraled OF COURSE I SPIRALLED. #hahahahahaha im not even talking about the other thing i think ill really kill myself if i think out that at all #whatever i dont even have time to be having a breakdown right now!! haha hahahaah i literally cant imagine making it to the end of this week #jace.txt

[porciaenjoyer]

furthermore the things that website tells you are embarrassing so i think it has a vendetta against me..!!

#AND i'll confess i think about it sometjmes which makes it more embarrassing. whatever it made me soooo upset that i left and took a shower #we may never know my vocal range..!!! that is a lie i vaguely know it. i get the gist #thoughts

[theodoravery]

you guys are so quick to hate women 🥱

#again. am i surprised? not at all. yall do the same every single year but #kind of annoying that when you go to the main tags theres soooo many posts on how much you guys hate ivy and amelia soooo much #and how you think theyre such bitches and whores etc etc #when weve only just met them and honestly? theyve done nothing to even justify a third of all the stuff you guys are saying about them #and i mean. dont get me wrong ok? if one of my sisters kissed/flirted with the person i was into i would be upset too but #i think youre taking it a bit too far #and also. i think its quite obvious that amelia wont be picking her sisters partner after all #and i wouldnt be surprised if the whole kiss thing was just for the drama #also! you guys want drama but when you get the drama you asked for you get upset like ??? make it make sense #litg #cami.txt

[kiss2012]

finally finished sab….um im rereading the duology to cleanse myself…what can i say that hasn’t already been said. well i am a zoya & nikolai and malina stan 4 life but they rlly made nikolaimalina real.

#look they have POTENTIAL. for arcs in an s3 if they get it #i think they could fix shadow and bone maybe even tho im mad about how they ended it #but soc?? What Have They Done. #like i simply must separate the soc show characters from the book otherwise i will go blind with rage #the actors rlly gave it their all even if i’m still upset that freddy carter has to play such a stoic kaz and jesper is stuck as the comic #relief :/ #with shadow and bone it’s all such a mess fr tho #i am biased because i love nikolai soooo much and i love zoya and i love genya and WHYYY DID THEY KILL OFF DAVID #ALINA YOU ARE NOTTTT PART OF THE TRIUMVIRATE WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO UR CHARACTER #MAL WHAT R U DOING. #what was that…i would go reread tgt and kos and row as well #except they’re not that good and parts also make me blind with rage so i will not

[orcelito]

Today was the most tiring fucking day of work and at least 60% of that is bc of One customer

#speculation nation #someone who orders delivery all the time. they had 2 problems #1: they apparently never got their order yesterday. #and 2: they Say they placed an order today & the boba was really hard #1 was relatively easy to fix (though annoying). i called the delivery company to make sure they got a refund. #2 though. the thing about 2 is that they did not get a fucking order from us today. #i Know bc i was there since we opened. we did not get an order from them today. #but this person swore up and down that they did. said it had our cups and everything. #& they were getting sooo upset. claiming that i thought they were lying. #and i was trying to tell them. 'it's not that i think youre lying. i just promise you. you did not get boba from us today.' #so if they Did get an order. where the fuck did it come from? #i thought they maybe had accidentally ordered from another place. but they Swore it had our cups. #so next theory was that maybe the order that disappeared yesterday got delivered today? #it would explain why the boba was hard bc boba doesnt keep. but also why the FUCK would the delivery company do that lmao #in the end the customer was getting soooo upset. literally crying over the phone. #not bitching at me. just like genuine distress. #so i was just like 'i dont know what happened & i cant really refund something that doesnt show up in our system #But i can give you store credit to use later' #so i made a gift card for them to pick up later. bc in the end i just wanted them to shut the fuck up. #at that point it all boils down to appeasement. and appease i did. #what really fucking gets me. is how fucking upset they were getting. GENUINE distress #and i was just like 'im sorry things went wrong. how can i fix this?' 100% even tone & just trying to help #but they were so upset bc they couldnt find the receipt from the order today (allegedly) & just. genuine crying over the phone #and i was just like. rolling my eyes all the way back in my head #like for fuck's sake. i get being upset about it but let's talk about it like adults shall we? #im not your fucking therapist Much less your friend. i just work here. im not here to fucking Console you over some messed up orders #i sympathize with you. i do! but literally just talk with me about how we can fix this. #i dont want to hear you break down crying over fucking. bubble tea. #like maybe that's harsh but FUCK it was so aggravating #but like a good little assistant manager i didnt let that show 😊. just. fuck im so done with it all.

[animutate]

kicking and biting and screaming whenever some youtuber mentions something being completely inaccessible because its an swf file. DOWNLOAD IT FROM THE WEBPAGE USE VLC MEDIA PLAYER....... JUST BECAUSE ITS FLASH DOESNT MEAN ITS BRICKED

#saw a reddit post about lost seinfeld flash games from 1998 and i was able to play them by just. opening the file in internet explorer #this is about a guy talking about run 2 on coolmath btw. run is so popular i guarantee you can play it on the internet archive #it makes me so upset theres soooo many ways to still use flash people just DONT KNOW IT so they think their favprite thing is gone #FOREVER #special interest

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

.

#complaint hour but like. #my sister jam packs her schedule and then just makes plans without consulting me #which whatever on some of the stuff but with other stuff it's like... sorry I invited all of our friends down here and now you want to #invite them way up there later that same day? Like??? Fuck me I guess because I'm not making people do the sister tour of new england #I'm so annoyed because I love her fiance I think he's great but the thing that has absolutely sucked than they started dating #is that her plans and their plans always come first no matter fucking what and it's like I'm not even on the list. #whoops I'm still mad about her being 'unable' to take 3hrs off for my graduation when she was able to take a whole slew of days off to #spend time with his family and do things with their friends #and they'd been dating for like 4 months #and it was just like... this has been on the calendar for TWO YEARS #do I care that you aren't here? Not a lot. Do I care that the excuse was complete bullshit and not something that was upfront? Yes. #I should probably do something about the fact that I've been low key mad about that for 4 years now #but I will Not. #Like I fully get her and the fiance coming before me in her priority list that is how it should be but it's the fact that I feel like a #complete fucking after thought that is very very upsetting #anyways between thinking about this and my period finally showing up I'm about to cry soooo bye lol

[scoreplings]

also helpful for remembering that my ex is a shithead im better off not having in my life is the fact that whenever i tell anyone how our relationship ended theyre horrified by the way he acted.

#am i embarrassed i put up with that as long as i did? yea #does it make me soooo happy im not putting up with it anymore? also yea <3 #helllppp a coworker asked me about it the other day so i explained it to him #and like a half hour later he put down the dishes he was washing and was like. dude what the FUCK i cant stop thinking about how messed up #that is #LOL yea dude i know. #n i wanna say hes evil but hes not really no one is. he just refuses to be accountable for what he does and makes selfish decisions. #he did not wake up and say ‘today i will make Aj soooo so sad and hurt him’ #he woke up and said ‘i want to date this guy but dont want to stop fucking this other guy. i will simply keep the boyfriend a secret from #the guy im fucking because i know they wouldn’t be okay with it. its a good thing im doing because they’d be sad if they knew!’ #or something along those lines. #dwelling on it is not good i think i am abt to go to sleep instead #makes me sad tho. good part of me hopes he pulls his head out of his ass and realizes he should treat the people who care about him better #selfish part of me hopes he ruins every relationship he has for the rest of his life and dies alone. (<- i dont actuslly want this id be so #sad. i am just mad because i am angry) #dwelling for 1 more second actually LOL he didnt even just keep the boyfriend a secret he lied to my face about it and spent six months #telling me he didnt even like the guy and wouldn’t date because he’d never want a relationship to get in the way of what we had. teehee #and that even if he did like the guy he’d never date him because he didnt want to hurt me like that. and he loved me. LOL. #after he told me he ghosted me for a week and when i finally got him to talk he said he regretted nothing and couldnt understand why i was #upset. hahaaha. and that i should keep it to myself and be happy for him. and that he was just with the guy because he was ‘more available’ #than i was. #teehee. sorry. i am dwelling again i just cannot get over how fucked it all is #and the boyfriend was my other best friend. teehee. and they are still together even though i explained what my ex did. <3 #i cannot wait to move oh my god i need to not see this mf every day at work or im gonna never stop thinking abt it. #whateverrr. i kiss my bf in two days 💚