#it took me 5 whole fucking years to convert to this ship

[bixels]

I just... wanted to be your friend.

#dungeon meshi #kabru #laius #labru #my art #fanart #it took me 5 whole fucking years to convert to this ship #i was into in kabru x mithrun for a while but it finally dawned on me mithrun is a senior citizen whos 100% dependent + high maintenance

[nyxocity]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks to @redmyeyes for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

82, although that's not even close to my actual total. There's a bunch on LJ that have never been transferred (all shorter works)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,780,805 (over 2mil on LJ)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly three, plus a couple dips into a few other pools. X-Men Comic Book fandom, Buffy & Angel fandom (they kinda count as one since it's the same universe), and Supernatural & SPN RPF. Dips have included Dragon Age, Firefly, a tiny bit of TVD, a Sons of Anarchy crossover.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is tough if I go by numbering. Homework Verse has the most kudos scattered across all parts, but Stranger Than Fiction has the most as a single story. Anyway...

Homework Verse (J2 RPF, 200k+ words) - My very first RPF fic, Supernatural or otherwise. Two of my online fandom friends basically TOLD me I was going to write Teacher/Student J2, and I kept protesting that I drew the line at RPF. They didn't care. 200k later, here we are. This story was a game changer for me; it made me fandom famous. I still love those boys with my whole heart, and they still talk to me sometimes.

Stranger Than Fiction (Sam/Dean, 50644 words) - This story idea took root immediately following the episode The Monster at the End of This Book. I quit the Big Bang I'd already begun writing for that year (which was Who Watches Over Me, which I finished and posted for BB the following year) to write this story. It just took hold hold of me and took over. I wrote it in 6 weeks and it was easily the most fun I ever had writing anything--I cackled like a madwoman most of the time.

Who Watches Over Me (J2 RPF, 96591 words) - This story was, at the time, the toughest thing I'd ever written. Little did I know that would become the norm and not the exception, as I began to write more complex stories. It was by far the longest story I had ever posted all at once in its entirety (rather than chapter by chapter) and I had no idea if people would like it. Fortunately a lot of people did.

Like Staring Into the Sun (Sam/Dean, 23243 words) - Ah, my very first hardcore Wincest fic. I remember writing the first chapter of the story (meant to be a one shot honestly), and just sitting there, at 5am, being terrified to post it. It was twisted, dark and intense and SO porny I was scared people might think I was weird. There wasn't anything like it out there at the time. As it turns out, people loved it so much I ended up writing eight more parts.

Like a Fish Out of Water (Sam/Dean, 59498 words) - I have a lot of love for this story. It didn't come to me easily, but it was fun to write. I remember smiling a lot and just having a nice, warm cozy feeling the whole time. I had no idea if anyone was interested in reading this many words of what amounted to a dramedy curtain fic

Of course there are other stories that I feel deserve love, but I can't argue with these.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do. And by that, I mean I try. I don't always succeed in answering them all, but I answer as many as I have time and energy for. Life is busy and there is writing to do as well. I read every comment I get (multiple times) and I feel guilty for all the ones I don't answer, because they mean SO MUCH TO ME. Like you took time to leave this beautiful, well thought out comment, or even a keysmash, or a heart, in response to something I wrote. That means the world.

I WISH there was a reaction function for comments on Ao3, so I could heart things, or laugh in response. Replying with emojis without words feels weird. So yeah, a reaction function would be amazing. But in the meantime, I do my best.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably A Touch of Evil. Interestingly, it's also a HAPPY ending, so there you go lol. It's a serial killer love story with a happy ending that comes at an exorbitant price.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not sure why the OG post skips from 6 to 8 lol . So, yes, I have written a few minors crossovers. Mostly Faith in the SPN verse with the boys, nothing too crazy, because she fits right in. But for long stories, I have written all of ONE crossover. It's Dean Winchester/Jax Teller (SPN / Sons of Anarchy). My crossovers so far have tended to make sense to crossover, so I don't think any of them are crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got some hate on a Buffy/Xander fic back in the day. I got really excited and had fun with it. Like yeah, now I'm SOMEBODY! You're no one til someone hates you lol Most of that was people who were haters of the ship, or were like, gross, they're like brother and sister (they weren't, they were FRIENDS). I've gotten nasty comments here and there on some of my SPN fic. My favorite was the person who accused me of having a "Top Dean Agenda". I STILL laugh about that one. I don't respond to that crap.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Have you MET ME? LOL If I ever post a story without smut just put me out to pasture, because I'm done. And all kinds. Het, Gay, PWP, Plotty porn, mostly super kinky but some vanilla (but intense). I used to challenge myself regularly to see if I could up my kink game--like hmm, but could I write THIS? I haven't written really kinky sex in a long time, though. Might be time to do that.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Several times. Who Watches Over me was stolen by someone and converted to One Direction Lourry fic. Literally just did a name change. Someone else stole a bunch of my one shots and passed them off as their own. I know there were a couple other instances but I only vaguely remember. I never got too deep into it, most of the time the people who discovered the theft already told everyone else too, and the plagiarist had been hammered by them so hard that I didn't have to step in before they took it down.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I used to get requests so often that I just posted my usual response in my profile for people to read instead of replying. Definitely into Russian and Chinese for most of the stories listed with most kudos above.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times on one shot fics. SO MUCH FUN. I love co-writing with people.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean. Easily. Hands down. I just love their unique relationship, bond and love so much.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well I finally finished A Touch of Evil after posting 3 chapters in 2009 and never touching it again until 2017. And I never thought I'd finish that. So never say never, I say. That said, there's the third and final part of my X-Men comic book epic that remains unfinished by about five (shorter) chapters, and it HAUNTS ME. But I don't think I'll ever finish it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

NOW we get to the hard questions. I'm really good at dialogue, bouncing banter back and forth between characters, and I have a sense for how long a scene should be. I just KNOW when it's going on too long, even if there's more that needs to be said, and I try to tighten it up in that case.

A friend of mine once told me "Porn is my gift". I don't write as much of it as I used to, but yeah, I shine in that area.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

So I always reach a point after writing so many words in an unpublished fic where I'm like, I have no idea if this is even any good/makes sense/hangs together etc. Beyond that, I've been writing for so long that I've had so much practice that I've strengthened a lot of my weaknesses. I'm sure I still have some, but I don't FEEL them like I used to anymore. That said, there are things I simply will not write. Like historical pieces. Because I would research the fuck out of every detail trying to get it perfect and then I would still doubt myself completely.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mostly try to avoid it, because there's no way I would ever get the language correct. I usually write it in English and then explain that they're saying it in another language. Like, "What are you doing?" the man asks, speaking in Chinese. Then reiterate in the continuing dialogue in various ways that they're speaking in Chinese.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Men Comic Book fandom. I was reading a lot of Remy/Rogue fic back in 1996-1997, and one day I was like, you know what? This person did a pretty good job on this story. It's not great, but it's pretty good, and if they can have the guts to put it out there, then I can do it, too.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tough question. I don't love all my children equally, but I love them all a lot in different ways lol

Remembering favorite is different than which one I think is BEST... Homework Verse is probably my favorite. I was learning so much about writing then, I was really growing, and discovering, and pushing my limits. Those characters lived and breathed in me, I swear they spoke through me from some alternate universe. They feel so REAL to me. There's so much of what I've learned in life in that story, like really, big, life changing ideas and understandings that happened to me that I put into that story. There's so much of me in that story, and yet there's so much of THEM, too. It's their story, but it's also mine. It's raw and not entirely perfect and it feels like home to me.

--

So that's it, that's my piece. I feel like EVERYONE has been tagged since it took me 3 days to have time to do this, but I'm basically tagging any of you writers out there who haven't done this yet!

#my stories #about me #writing #on writing

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so. 

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

#bethyl fanfiction #veteran author of the month

[sukirichi]

— 💌 ; a love letter from @kyriaan

long post below regarding broken records. cw includes adultery, physical assault, toxic relationships, broken records spoilers, and mature content

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

Okay! I finally had time to actually sit down and properly read chap 5 cause ill be damned and burned if i dont pay special attention to one of my favorite series here! Rather drown or be sting by bees slowly 😒

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃 I for the first time don't even know where to start so allow me to be all over the place cause my emotions are also all over the place with this chapter ✌️

Ill start by y/n's dad caN GO FUCK HIMSELF? Like okay sir you might have fallen in love with our mom (ill give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his feelings) BUT SIR YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST? FROM THE BEGINNING? ALSO BRUH YOU KIDDING ME??? SIR YOU LEGIT ABANDONED YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER AND THEN YOU PROCESS TO 'LEAVE US' I- YOOOOO I WOULD BITCH SLAP HIM I SWEAR!!

Also ALSO ILL SCREAM FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NO KID HAS EVER TO BE BLAMED FOR BEING BORN!! Y/n mom's line: 'we have to atone for our sins' its legit BULLSHIT it wad NOT y/n fault her DAD COULDNT KEEP HIS DICK INSIDE HIS PANTS NOR ITS Y/N FAULT THAT HER DAD CHEATED!!! ATONE FOR OUR SINS MY ASS!! the father is the one that has to take responsibility for all this shitty situation we do NOT nor any kid out there in this situation has to be taken accountable by this!!

And now Suna 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 bruh im just gonna cry... Everything he does just makes me heart swell i feel so cozy when i read his parts like how sweet and present he is I- bruh I never had that... Actually seeing y/n breaking up with him when shes clearly falling in love with him just breaks me cause Girl for real Suna would be there for you... I get it shes afraid and shes acting on that fear but girl... Pls he truly loves you deeply not everyone is like your dad. There are happy endings. There are good people Sunas one of them pls 🥺🥺🥺 also MY LOVE TSUMU BEING A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND EVEN THO SUNA GOT THE GIRL BRUH TSUMU I FUCKING LOVE YOU MY CHILDISH YET ADORABLY SMUG BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

Nagisas a bitch btw ✌️ so far i see no redemption not excuse in what she did so far. I get her reasons but that does NOT excuse her behavior. She has to lash out at her cunt of a dad not at a innocent woman who was also a victim all along. Nor even her half sister. I get her mentality behind this but doesnt excuse her behavior at all- its basically the same as being a victim from a bully and playing bully after aswell.

Overall YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN SUKI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BUT ALSO UGH MY HEART SUKI!

[ from suki ] 

BROKEN RECORDS IS UR FAVE SERIES??? babe pls you’re gonna me cry !! nah nah fr his dishonesty caused all this mess. YEAHA SAKLAA tbh I love mama lucy but her words of ‘atoning for their sins’ or her mindset of ‘we don’t deserve to be happy when we’ve hurt others’ really messed up YN. she was only 21 and vulnerable with all the shambles happening in her family + the sudden assault from nagisa, that when her mother said those words, she struggled to let go of it. to her, it became like a final verdict that dictated how she lived her life.

SUNA URGHHH PLEASE GIVE SUNA A CHANCE HE HAS PURE AND GOOD INTENTIONS BUT I CANT BLAME HER EITHER AHSJAKA. and the comparison of nagisa being a bully’s victim only to become the next bully is true. nagisa should lash out at their shitty excuse of a father. ALSO AAAAHH THE NEXT CHAPTER (007) IS WORSE AHSJKAAL

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

I know shins attractive I mean mans perfect?? Does he even have any flaw?? And the way he cried when he got his jersey MYGOD FHDHFHFJSKS but I still look at him and im like.... Hmmmm nah i wouldnt date him its just not my... Do i dare say type? Cause i dont think i have a type ghfhfisofbd but like I just 🧍‍♀️

I love him i just dont love him i guess

The makeout scene tho ill give you that 🥵🥵🥵 made me bark (i would still walk out next day like was a good fuck kita byeeee🚉🏃‍♀️💨)

... More drama regarding mari... And you said this will have like 10 chapters... And from 8 on will be angsty.... 🙂 *traumatized noises*

[ from suki ] 

YUUHHH KITA IS PERFECT HERE AHSJKAA IDK MAYBE ITS MY SIMPING FOR NAOYA CONVERTED TO KITA ALREADY BEING PERFECT AS HE ALREADY IS AND I AMPED IT UP BCOS THE SIMP MODE IS ACTIVATED AHSKAA. the make out scene !! pls sir i’m on my knees spare some love in ur heart AAAAAAHHHHHH. also. i assure you. businessman! kita got game. he’s gonna make you walk funny if you give him the chance HSJKA

yeah i just finished writing the outline for track7 right now and the drama is HSJKAA it gave me a headache sobs 

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 006

I want to give you my usual thoughts on the new chapter and at the same ahm...

I just saw myself on Suna... Deeply....and it kinda slapped me harder than i was expecting...there were too many things from him giving himself to mari/treating her like he wants to be treated... To deleting his best friend from social media thanks to his girlfriend... And it really hurt me ahah..

I would vent but.. Yeah

But yes this chapter i saw myself in suna and i had to take quite the long breaks cause it was getting to me 😅😅😅 also if anything i learned from my experiences is that MARI SCREAMS RED FLAGS and even Osamu can see that pls

I would honestly end Mari there, i wouldnt even bother to just retort i would walk my way into to the damn apartment and fucking take Suna for myself cause Mari does not deserve him. Shes manipulative, and in a way abusive.. Not allowing him to keep contact with his best friend his a total redflag and o know its because Suna had feelings for y/n and vice versa but Suna never gave het a reason to distrust him.

The moment he said he was best friends with y/n and was single she immediately clinged himself to him and for what? To then dump him like he was trash...

He gave himself to her, he proved he was there for her he even took her back this boy deserves the fucking world and its not Mari...

I kinda want to say it's not y/n at this point either cause the way she broke his heart was kinda the same Mari did.. Y/n disregarded his feelings and just broke it up.. Mari disregarded his feelings abd broke it up... But y/n stated from the very beginning that she would eventually break up Mari just shrugged and didn't care so i can in a way forgive y/n i cant forgive mari

Besides y/n was supportive from the beginning while Mari was obsessive and controlling.

Another really insanely well written chapter as usual (albeit this one making me ball my eyes off harder because yeah) but yes~ eagerly waiting for the next one~

Take your time tho 😌🙌

Mari can go fuck off 💗💓💞💕❣️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💯💝💖💋💅

Suna x y/n pls

Y/n deserves to have a healthy love life with someone she loves (hence why npt Kita) and loves her back

And Suna deserve the fucking world and be treated right

[ from suki ] 

NAHHHH cuz when you said suna was treating mari the way he wanted YN to treat her... that’s right. on point. they’re all so complicated sobs. MARI IS A WALKING RED FLAG THAT OSAMU CAN SMELL FROM A MILE AWAY. ALSO yes mari is manipulative and borderline possessive when it came to suna. like yeah, let’s be real, she could tell a long time ago that suna was in love with YN and it made her insecure / jealous, but the whole time, YN kept her distance. she was supportive over their relationship from afar as to make mari comfortable. suna also did everything he could to make sure she was well cared for. for three years, he was focused on her and only her. he gave love a second chance despite being brokenhearted. suna never mari a chance to doubt because he, too, was sure he could be happy with her.

until mari left him.

and now suna is back with YN because they will always have each other. but honestly,,,if we think about it, if mari never broke up with suna or at least gave him the chance to explain himself - if mari didn’t do the exact thing YN did to suna years ago - he honestly would’ve been really happy with mari. they were going well. like yeah mari has always been toxic by pushing suna’s boundaries and asking him to unfollow his own best friend on social media, but he did it anyway. because he trusted their relationship. he wanted the best for them. 

also yeah, the parallels between mari and YN were intentional !! 

HEHEHEHE THE KITA X YN SHIP everyone loves them im so happy about that bcos kita is so amazing in my eyes. PREACH FOR THAT THO !! SUNA DESERVES THE BEST. SUNA DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND SO MUCH MORE

thank you for taking the time to send me this, kya, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to work harder on the future chapters !! <33

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #besties #series ( broken records ) #tw: physical assault #tw: toxic #tw: toxic relationships #tw: adultery

[mllemaenad]

(Chantry Asker) I don't defend the Chantry because I think is "has to be good", but part of what Dragon Age encourages us to do is consider the difficulty faced by well-intentioned factions. The Inquisition, for example, has problems, becoming vulnerable to infiltration, and depending on how you played the game, may have done worse. It's not easy to help people, but the Chantry TRIES. Many Thedosian groups don't even do that. If not the Chantry, then to whom do the downtrodden and hopeless turn?

But Anonymous person: this is exactly what I mean. Whence comes this desire to treat the Chantry like some kind of beleaguered, underfunded kindergarten teacher?

“She’s trying, okay? She’s trying.”

Do you feel the need to defend Mass Effect’s Cerberus, too? Sometimes an evil organisation is just an evil organisation.

Why on earth do you think the Chantry is ‘trying’? Again: absolutely no one is saying that a particular revered mother (or Chantry brother or sister) may not be a good person who attempts to help people. That’s not in question. But ‘the Chantry’ is a continent-wide political organisation with massive resources and influence. It is led by a divine and by grand clerics, and on the other side by lord and lady Seekers and by knight-commanders of the templars. It has shaped the world. That’s the scale we are working on here.

No one group in history has impacted life in Thedas more than the Chantry. The influence of this church of the Maker prevails across most of the continent’s kingdoms, and the bulk of humanity pays at least lip service to its tenets. Belief in the Maker has started wars and forced those outside the Chantry to the fringes of society.

– The World of Thedas Volume I

So that’s a good start.

"The Keepers, Shaperate, Qun, Augers, Seers, and Shamen don't help. Only the Chantry.”

That’s one of the first things you said to me. And it’s so confusing because ... it reads like you really don’t grasp that these people are not in Lothering because, largely, they have been driven to the margins by Orlais and its Chantry. They can’t be there. They would die. 

Just as an example – can you imagine what would happen to an augur who set up in some Chantry-dominated village? Started summoning his gods, offering guidance and assistance, suggesting spirit possession to help training young mages? The poor bastard wouldn’t live out the day. But that wouldn’t be his fault. His people aren’t the ones practising religious persecution.

How – how – does that demonstrate the virtue of the Chantry? You can’t give someone points for being the only game in town when they’ve killed all the other players.

The Chantry began and has continued to be a predominantly human organisation. Other races are seen to be further from the Maker. The elves have their false pantheon of idols. The dwarves worship themselves. The Qunari are the worst of all, actively crushing worship of the Maker and desecrating Chantry values in the name of the Qun.

–  The World of Thedas Volume I

They have built the racism right into their doctrine, so that’s nice. And the religious persecution. And just ... zero self-awareness in that they hate the Qunari for converting by force when they do the same thing.

But let’s think about your "downtrodden and hopeless”, shall we?

Why is it that most of the elves in Thedas live in abject poverty, and regardless of their skills are effectively barred from bettering their lot? Oh, that’s right. Because the Chantry invaded their homeland, stole it from them, and forced them to live in slums and convert to the Chantry faith.

But you already know that something went wrong. A small elven raiding party attacked the nearby human village of Red Crossing, an act of anger that prompted the Chantry to retaliate and, with their superior numbers, conquer the Dales.

We were not enslaved as we had been before, but our worship of the ancient gods was now forbidden. We were allowed to live among the humans only as second-class citizens who worshipped their Maker, forgetting once more the scraps of lore we had maintained through the centuries.

– The City Elves

Why is it that most mages are dependant on Chantry run Circles to house, feed and clothe them? Oh, that’s right. Because the Chantry kidnaps them as children, prevents them from inheriting their family titles and property, and steals their children in turn should they have any.

Chantry law requires those with significant magical ability to join the nearest Circle and live under its supervision. While Thedosians with extremely low levels of magical talent are generally permitted to go about their lives, they are still closely watched. In most nations, practising magic and not joining a Circle is to be branded an apostate and, thus, a danger to society. Those who survive capture are turned over to the Circle to become students or prisoners, depending on the circumstances.

– The World of Thedas Volume I

So that’s ... pretty great. It sounds as though you’re suggesting – best case scenario – that the Chantry should get points for setting up a soup kitchen for the homeless, when they were the ones who burned down those people’s houses. And built an ugly mansion on the land.

But that really is a ... best case scenario. It doesn’t really fit with the reality of how the Chantry operates. I mean: the Chantry takeover in Kirkwall was a fucking disaster. Meredith had death squads. I mean – death squads. That whole situation was a dystopian nightmare.

And then there’s whatever the fuck is going on in Tantervale:

Chantry law is all but absolute in Tantervale, earning the city its dour reputation. The city guard is obsessed with enforcement. A street urchin would get a year in the dungeon for something that would get him a pat on the back in Orlais.

– World of Thedas Volume I

So ... yay for theocracy? And then there’s the clusterfuck in Jader:

The overpopulation and poor living conditions led to an outbreak of disease that nearly crippled the city, followed by famine in the poorer sections when it was quarantined.

Mother Giselle, whose prosperous chantry was in a wealthier quarter, wrote to Val Royeaux asking for assistance from the Chantry. When help was not immediately forthcoming, it is said that she addressed the clerics of her chantry. “As Andraste herself said, ‘My faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion,’ then so shall faith sustain the hungry in this time of need,” Giselle told them. “As we have devoted our lives to divine contemplation, such a diet should come to us quite easily.” With that she took the unprecedented step of taking all of her chantry’s food into the poor quarters of Jader, distributing it to peasants who would otherwise have starved to death.

Shocked and shamed by what some in Val Royeaux privately referred to as an ostentatious bullying tactic, Chantry officials coordinated relief efforts. Food arrived quickly, along with instructions on how it was to be distributed: first to the Jader chantry to end the hunger strike, then to the Orlesian peasants, then to the Fereldan refugees, and finally to the elves of the alienages. Mother Giselle famously replied to the orders by saying, “If we believe that some have fallen further from the Maker’s grace than others, then those who have fallen further are in greatest need of our care. We cannot fill their souls until we have filled their bellies.” With the support of Lady Seryl of Jader, who was directing relief efforts of her own, Giselle ignored the directives and fed the poor of the city without regard for race or nationality.

Her actions saved thousands of lives in Jader and made her a beloved figure among the poor in Orlais and Ferelden alike. Those actions also destroyed her chances of any official political advancement in the Chantry, as the grand clerics did not look kindly on being shown up in such a manner.

– World of Thedas Volume II

So, five important points here:

1) Mother Giselle’s actions are ‘unprecedented’. So stepping up like that and forcing the Chantry to give aid in a time of crisis is not actually standard practice.

2) This is a clear example of a person attempting to do good and being stymied by the Chantry hierarchy.

3) The Chantry is, in case anyone forgot, really fucking racist.

4) Ending a famine also ended this woman’s political career, because the Chantry just cannot stop being The Worst.

5) While Giselle is undeniably doing some really awesome stuff here, that bit about not being able to fill people’s souls before filling their bellies indicates that even good people tend to do harm when following Chantry doctrine, because they can’t just ‘do good’. They’re also pushing conversion.

Whenever and wherever the Chantry has real power, they tend to do terrible harm. They do it on such a scale, on such a level of ‘these bloody hands may never be clean again’ awful that ... a few acts of kindness can’t easily redeem them.

To be critical of the Chantry, I don’t need to have another option. I can critique a thing without going further – especially since ‘The Chantry killed everyone else’ is ... pretty much why other people aren’t around to help. But ... it really isn’t as if no one else knows how to do good? 

I mean – look at Alistair. Assuming you made him king, he shows up with ships to bring the Fereldan refugees home, and offers aid to rebel mages. He fights with Meredith about it. That aid continues into Inquisition. While the Chantry is busy tearing Kirkwall apart, Alistair is helping. Anders runs a clinic for the poor and dispossessed in the Kirkwall sewers. He’s so damn popular that a mob turns up to defend him. That’s just one man. Most people like him are locked up, so they can’t help. Imagine a thousand clinics run by spirit healers.

Or ... did ... no one listen to Merrill?

Merrill: What does your Chantry do? I mean, you keep saying how great it is. Anders and Isabela tell me to stay away from it. But what does it do? Among the Dalish, the Keepers teach the children, preserve our history, perform magic. The priestesses here just... sing.

Sebastian: The Chantry does many charitable works. It cares for widows and orphans –

Merrill: Who in the Dalish would just be part of the clan, like everyone else. I just don't get it.

...

Bethany: So, there's no Circle among the Dalish?

Merrill: Any child with the gift of magic is apprenticed to a Keeper... in another clan if there's no need in her own.

Bethany: That sounds nice.

Merrill: Magic is a gift of the Creators. Why wouldn't we use it? It just seems... wasteful for humans to lock their mages away where they can't do any good.

– Merrill Dialogue

The Dalish would regard ‘charity’ as a communal duty, and magic as a tool to help people. She’s not wildly impressed by the Chantry, which is not doing enough good of any kind for her to notice. Merrill lives in one of the poorest parts of the city. So. Maybe her way might be worth a try?

Individuals can do good. Organisations can do good. These things are not in question. But the Chantry is – and I say this again – an imperial religion. Its primary function is to serve the Orlesian empire, which is racist, power hungry and deeply religiously intolerant. Empires are bad news.

I’ve seen the examples you’ve given. They exist. Some of them are real instances of a Chantry official, or a small, local chantry, doing a Good Thing. But I have to ask ...

Can you really look at a set of scales that has ‘genocide’ on one side and ‘helped out a single mum that one time’ on the other and say “Sure, that balances”?

#dragon age #chantry critical #Anonymous

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN DATABASES

Investors would be the first VC to give someone fuck-you money and then actually get told fuck you. One valuable way for an idea to be wrong is to be the middle course, to notice some tokens but not others.1 Closer to fraudulent. Plus you'll have an easier time at $x/2. How do you seem like you have a life at work. Especially when the institutions administering the tests don't really want startups to approach them directly. And after having spent their whole lives doing things that are false, and being regarded as odd by outsiders on that account to give copies to investors you meet. I have missed something so obvious for so long? If you know you're on the right track, then you get a net saving in lines if you use it more than once.

Apple got started because Steve Wozniak wanted to build microcomputers, and his employer, Hewlett-Packard, wouldn't let him do it at a garage sale, dirty and frameless, and with no idea, what do you do next? Angels are in a different position because they're investing their own money. How grim it would be to anyone else who felt uneasy about apparently forgetting so much they'd read. 9999 if they occur more than 10 times and. Actually, neither do VCs. It's the second that matters. So now there are two ways to deal with uncertainty is to analyze it into components.

There are many analogies between fundraising and dating, and this is one of the first things they try is a line drawing of a face. Do one thing and do it well, because the advice I've given here, because the links do.2 Good hackers can always get some kind of job. Don't try to make it convertible debt, but which is usually invisible in the source code. What decided the contest for computers? We regularly have startups go from hot to cold or cold to hot in a matter of pride, and a woefully incomplete idea becomes a promising question to explore. That generates almost as good returns as actually being able to fork off processes that all end up running in parallel. A lot of cities look at Silicon Valley and ask How can VCs make money by investing in stuff they don't understand? Sort routines you can write in it. We Getting a Divorce? Samuel Johnson said it took a hundred years. Painting has been a much richer source of ideas: look at big companies, all the pressure is in the direction of over-emphasizing certain topics at the expense of the filtering rate.

But if it is a recursive solution, a tower on a tower. Exceptional performance implies immigration. How can Larry and Sergey were meek little research assistants, obediently doing their advisors' bidding. Studio art and creative writing courses are wildcards. I was interested in AI a hot topic then, he told me I should major in math. Serious applications like databases are often trivial and dull technically if you ever suffer from insomnia, try reading the technical literature about databases while frivolous applications like games are often very sophisticated. Some of the worse ones never actually do say no; they just make it easier. I expected, but I could imagine little unmanned reconnaissance planes flying like birds in fifty years. So here's the recipe for a lot of changing the subject when death came up. They use the same vocabulary as ordinary email.3

So here we had two levels of interpretation, one of our habits of mind.4 If you believe an investor has committed, get them to stay is to give them enough that they never need to leave. So be honest with yourself about the sort of town you have before you try this. At first it may seem odd to sum up this huge treatise by saying that they haven't had time to reread them more closely. Till they do, you don't have to hurry. If you consider exclamation points as constituents, for example, because no one else has noticed yet. They're talking about an economy like America's a few decades ago, dominated by a few big companies. So in borderline cases the rational thing for them to do? If an idea is a blueprint, it has to be type A fundraising is when you do, talk to them all in a building in Silicon Valley. But even investors who don't have a rule about this will be bored and frustrated by unclear explanations. Your tastes will change. Well, I suppose we'd consider it, for the average engineer, more options just means more rope to hang yourself.5

Notes

It's hard to game the system? Now to people he knew. Com. But it's a departure from his predecessors was a new search engine is low.

Currently we do the equivalent thing for founders; if they want both. Tell the investors.

The brand of an email being spam. As well as a note to self. This is a major cause of accidents. And it's just as on Reddit, for example, if the statistics they use the phrase frequently, you should be asking will you build this?

But in this respect. But should you do. It should not always tell this to realize that species weren't, because any VC would think Y Combinator makes founders move for 3 months also suggests one underestimates how hard it is to show growth graphs at either stage, investors treat them differently.

Instead of earning the right thing to do as some European countries have done and try another approach. There will be as shocked at some point, when politicians tried to motivate people by saying Real artists ship. But you can't expect you'll be able to spend, see what new ideas you're presenting.

Thanks to Robert Morris, Trevor Blackwell, Patrick Collison, Aaron Iba, Jessica Livingston, and Joe Gebbia for putting up with me.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #tower #VCs #Notes #borderline #Apple #game #sort #Trevor #Y #topic

[notesfromthepen]

Gun Control and Prison Razors

(This was originally written after the Las Vegas massacre in 2018. I’m reposting since we’ve yet to address the serious issue of gun control in our country.)

Thank you so much for your time and attention. As an inmate, and as much as the state tries to suspend our involvement in society we must find avenues such as these to participate. Thank you so much for your time and attention.

Gun Control and Prison Razors

Once again we find ourselves in the aftermath of another mass shooting. Territory that has become all too familiar in recent years. As these incidents grow, in frequency and scope, we still haven't had meaningful discussion of possible solutions. Well, none that include any mention of the one common factor: Guns. 

Just yesterday 17 people slaughtered, and many more injured, when a young man opens fire and begins his killing spree as they were attending school. 58 innocent people murdered and hundreds injured in Las Vegas massacre. The worst in our countries history..well, up to this point. As difficult as it is to stomach, without real change, these will continue to happen. For our elected officials, who are charged with the safety, security, and functioning of our society on behalf of its citizens, can't even have a genuine conversation free from ego and political pandering. The evasive response that "now isn't the time for this discussion" must be called what it is: cowardice and self serving avoidance. Plenty of 'talking' takes place but zero listening. And without both, a discussion is impossible. If the time isn't now then when?

Unfortunately any subject, even remotely, linked to guns in this country is treated with an auditory shut down. Fingers instinctively go in ears and we can't even have a conversation about what has, so clearly, become a problem unique to our society. And so, as ridiculous as it sounds, in an attempt to prevent the plugging of ears, I have to make a disclaimer. So here it is: a sad but necessary disclaimer renouncing any political allegiance or tribalism:

Fuck Democrats and fuck Republicans. Fuck Independents and fuck Socialists. Fuck partisanship and fuck bipartisanship. Fuck any label except citizenship. And fuck anyone who adopts an immovable set of beliefs. Beliefs created by others and adopted as their own to shelter them from any independent and critical thought.

As I write this I am a member of no particular political party. As such, I am free from biased thinking, based on party alliance and tribalism. Free to view individual issues with some reasonable objectivity and pragmatism. So often, our blind allegiance to a particular set of political views becomes stifling to any attempt at addressing the problems we face. One of our responsibilities as citizens of this county, I'd argue one of the most important of responsibilities, is to make honest, well informed, and logical decisions with at least an attempt at some objectivity, about the issues that face us. Or at the very least to take part in some open-minded discussion. A responsibility that the most self proclaimed of 'patriotic' Americans consistently shirk.

I have no vested interest on either side of the gun debate other than the desire for the health and success of our society and the citizens it is designed to protect.

I'm familiar with the arguments on both sides of the debate. We all are, but at some point these arguments aren't even arguments anymore. Arguments would at least be some form of dialogue between disagreeing parties. What we have, in this country, has devolved into nothing more than self affirming talking points yelled at the already converted in an attempt to rile a base and cover their ears. And at some point, if we intend to make any progress, we have to set aside all the convoluted and emotional propaganda that distracts us from actually addressing an issue in a meaningful way.

Just for a moment can we just be people in a society. People who live together and so should be able to have real discussions about the dire problems that face us all. People able to find pragmatic solutions to stop immediate and present dangers?

There, if your fingers are not yet in your ears, we can now talk about the issue of mass shootings.

The whole issue, at its core, seems to boil down to two related questions:

1: Are constitutional rights beyond reproach, even when they are detrimental to the health and safety of the society they are designed to protect?

2: As citizens of this country are we absolved from making sacrifices for the good of the whole of society?

I think both design as well as history dictate that the answer to both questions is "no". 

First: Of course constitutional rights are not beyond reproach. Amendments have been and will continue to be made to the constitution to shape and mold it according to the evolving needs of society.

And second: In no way are we absolved from making sacrifices. We make sacrifices of 'freedom' everyday for the sake of the safety and good of society as a whole. Traffic laws, for instance. Are there people who can drive safely at 100mph? Of course there are, but a speed limit is a logical sacrifice necessary for relatively safe road ways.

The grey area of the debate is where to draw the line in each question. I get that. Is it safety at the cost of freedom or freedom at the cost of safety? The debate of the exact location of where that line is to be drawn can and should be hashed out with vigorous debate. I'm just suggesting that when it comes to the more dire issues, issues that need more immediate attention, that we can take some action towards a remedy in a more timely manner. I'd hope that when it comes to the issue of 'gun related mass-murder' that we can agree that it is one act well past the line of acceptable consequences of unfettered individual freedoms. For, if rampant and repetitive acts of mass-shootings can't be agreed upon as being well past the line of acceptability then what is?

At some point theoretical ideals and unrealistic talking points must give way to pragmatism when it comes to the most dire and detrimental circumstances that face society. Other wise we're arguing about how to fix a hole in the ship as we sink to the ocean floor. 

The question of plausibility and a general uncertainty of the results, keeps many people from even entertaining the idea of new gun control laws. There aren't any examples that I can think of that would completely parallel how a newly enacted gun control law would play out in America.Because of the intricate variables and numerous moving parts, an all encompassing experiment seems impossible. But to get a loose idea of what the process and results 'could' be, it would need to be done on a smaller more controllable scale. A place like Americas prison system. Where a similar, albeit imperfect, experiment 'has' taken place. An experiment that I was present for.

When I came to prison in 2014 we shaved with disposable razors. A 'right' to hygiene. A right that goes as far back as anyone in here can remember. And according to the veteran inmates and C.O.'s, things went relatively smoothly (pun absolutely not intended, but slightly enjoyed). 

That's not to suggest that razors weren't misused of their intended purpose and turned into make shift weapons. They were. The blades easily removed and attached to a makeshift handle to create a "buck-fifty". (A "buck-fifty": both a noun and a verb, named after the number of stitches it takes to sew up a slash to the face from the makeshift weapon.) It's not that buck-fifty attacks didn't take place in the distant past. It's just that they occurred very rarely. According to the elder inmates and guards, as little as 2-5 razor slashing, on average, took place in an entire year, depending on the particular prison. And all made a point to say that they only occurred for the most serious of infractions and were used exclusively in the most extreme situations, as a measure of last resort. But something started to change in the 2000s.

A drastic uptick in assaults involving razors began to occur from 2005-2010. What was once a rare occurrence and reserved strictly for informants and child molesters was now common practice and nobody was off limits. People were being slashed for debts of a few dollars, for instant coffee and ramen noodles, gang initiations, perceived disrespect, as a preemptive method to avoid fights. And so on. Needless to say, this presented a new set of problems for a prison system, already knee deep in violence and conflict. 

Whether the increase in attacks were from the exploding gang culture or from the influx of younger inmates is unclear. Though I'm sure it's a combination of factors. In any case the problem continued to grow.

By the time that I came to prison in early 2014 razor slashing had become a weekly occurrence. Within days I witnessed this epidemic first hand. On my way back from chow I saw an inmate with his hands cuffed behind his back being led by a C.O. towards the health care building. The inmate had his state shirt pulled up over his nose, as a makeshift mask. Me and several other inmates stepped aside, as we were ordered, to let them by. As they passed, the inmates shirt slid from his nose and fell to his shoulders. A slash ran from his right ear all the way to the corner of his mouth, connecting the two facial features. His face was filleted into two separate flaps. With nothing to hold the bottom half of his cheek in place, it folded down over his jaw exposing the teeth on the right side of his mouth. He reminded me of a zombie from the Walking Dead. This gruesome display was my introduction to the prison culture. It was my baseline. My average. And I became all too accustomed to, what should have been, completely unacceptable levels and frequencies of violence.

Whether it was the excess medical costs, the threat of lawsuits, or just the general lack of control, the system decided that something had to be done.

Like any bureaucracy, the prison system resists change. I'm sure, as the slashings began to rise in frequency, justifications and excuses were invoked to keep the status quo: There are too many razors already out there. What are they gonna shave with? Electric razors are too expensive. How are we gonna confiscate all of them? 

But no matter how many offenders they took to the hole, how many shake downs they did, or how much they hoped the problem would simply go away on its own, it didn't.

In mid 2014 the 'powers that be' finally had enough and they passed a new institutional policy. In every housing unit, in every prison in the state, a copy of the new policy was posted for all to read. It stated that the disposable razors were being discontinued. That in a month they would no longer be available on commissary. And in three months any disposable razors were to be disposed of. After the determined disposal date, razors would be deemed 'dangerous contraband' and anyone found with a razor in their area of control would be taken to the hole and issued a class1 ticket. The highest of institutional infractions, a 'class1'affects your security level as well as parole eligibility. Further down the page it listed the prices and vendors that offered the electric razors we would now have to shave with. It went on to explain that indigent inmates would be given an electric razor on loan until the debt could be paid off. And we were thanked for our cooperation.

Most inmates were irate about the new policy. I was one of them. 'I' was using the razors for their intended purpose: to shave! Why should 'I' have to give them up because other people couldn't be trusted not to misuse them? 

I had become accustomed to the violence. Even the frequent lock downs that were imposed, sometimes for days, after a slashing, had become normal. I was so conditioned to the razor assaults that I was more concerned with the inconvenience to my routine and personal preferences than with the safety of my environment and my fellow inmates. 

Many inmates used the grace period to order as many razors as possible. Some were to be stashed and sold. Others were to be tucked away for later use. 

The new policy wasn't an instantaneous or perfect solution. The occurrences of buck-fifties didn't drop off immediately. It was more of a slow drip of decline. Just the knowledge that razors were no longer a renewable resource made inmates rethink what a buck-fifty worthy offense was. Over time the incidents of razor related violence happened less and less frequently. After years of loss, use, disposal, and confiscation, the numbers and availability of illegal razor blades dwindled to almost nothing. And inevitably so did the 'buck-fifties'. 

To hear the old timers tell it, its more rare now than its ever been. I've been in my current prison for over six months now and haven't seen or heard of anyone being slashed across the face with a razor. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time that I heard of someone getting buck-fifties. Its been well over a year.

Is prison now a perfect utopia of a rehabilitative society? Absolutely not! Is it completely safe and devoid of violence? Not at all. Fights and stabbings still take place more frequently than most would like. Is everything better now that the disposable razors, that were so easily misused and turned into weapons, aren't readily available to all? No. But it is 'one less problem' that the inmates and staff within the prison system have to deal with. And with one less, difficult yet preventable problem, we can all get on with the other, less dire and numerous important issues that face us. 

The inmates, the staff, and the entire prison system were affected by the epidemic of razor violence and all the debates and theoretical ideas did nothing to curb the violence. Eventually, a point was reached when it was decided that enough was enough, that something concrete and pragmatic had to be done. And it was. 

The cries of injustice from the inmates, the complaints of the implementation and logistics by staff, and the preferred continuation of the status quo by the institutions were not allowed to stand in the way of the change needed to maintain a safe and functioning prison system. And thank God that there was no influence from an all powerful disposable razor lobby.

In no way do I pretend that this is a perfect representation of the larger and more complex issues that we face with gun control in this country. It is, however, an example of a society that reached a point deemed unacceptable to its proper functioning and to the safety of its citizens. And so a difficult, imperfect, and nearly wholly unpopular decision for the sake of that society was made. A decision made, free from all the external influences and biases, free from partisan talking points and approval ratings, and free from the need to appease constituents. A decision made in order to accomplish a goal for the greater good of those involved.

And if that's not the duty of those in power, then what is? Sadly when it comes to our elected officials it seems to be second to: fundraising and placating for reelection, in order to do more fundraising and placating for another reelection… and so on, for as long as possible. All the while, we the citizens, who they are supposed to be beholden to, live in the real world where real decisions need to be made but rarely are.

And in a way it is our fault. All of this is made possible because our ability to think objectively and critically has atrophied to the point of disability. Which has allowed us to be manipulated through fear and tribalism. To be force fed partisan mantras that have lost all meaning and understanding for those who chant them. A disability that has rendered any conversation rooted in day to day reality impossible. 

This is what happens when people espouse prepackaged "beliefs". Beliefs that they themselves haven't reached through an honest and informed search for truth. Beliefs that they themselves haven't reached through brutal self-awareness and humility. Beliefs that they have never 'truly' even thought about.

As heartbreaking as this to say: Maybe the biggest tragedy isn't the horrendous cases of repeated mass murder of American citizens by firearms while our law makers do nothing. Maybe the greatest tragedy is that there aren't enough people, willing to do the honest and difficult work necessary to come to their own opinions free from bias and tribalism, to do anything to stop it…

We need change, accountability, and 'real' participation in the society we are a part of.

If the time isn't now then when?

[topicprinter]

Hey fellow /r/entrepreneurs! I’ve written up a small case study of my product and it’s “failure” (Yay! You can learn what mistakes not to do). Hope you enjoy.Flashback.So in January 2016, whilst playing a game of poker, an epiphany occurred. Seeing all the designs on a deck of cards, I thought they’d be cool to color and from that moment on, PlayingColor was born. Furthermore, as this was my first project and I was on college holidays, time and curiosity was aplenty.Well, to start the deck, I needed a designer. I was willing to do it myself but I felt someone else would be better. So instead of searching for an established and professional designer, I went over to a friend and asked her to do the deck. She said sure…. Sweet! What could go wrong?LESSON 1. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR AND DON’T MIX IN YOUR FRIENDSWhat my naivety failed to realize was that she’s also in college and working and partying… and my project was going to take fourth place. Oh boy was her designs delayed. A request of 52 beautifully unique and intricate Mandalas ended up taking nearly 4 months to draw… (I should’ve really saved that time and hired a faster professional designer). Furthermore, since we were friends, I couldn’t really fathom of being harsh. My mistake. Also I forgot to implement a stringent deadline. Another mistake.LESSON 2. CHINA ISN'T ALWAYS CHEAPERAs the cards were sloooooooowly being designed, I was busy searching for suppliers. I always thought that China = Cheap and as a result, I began searching for Chinese manufacturers (I’m located in Australia). The issue was that the card stock I needed had to have 1-side coated and the other to be uncoated. This was surprisingly a tall order for most Chinese and even US card manufacturers. Other issue was that US and China were giving me Minimum Order Quantities of 2,000 for $10k to print. I just didn’t have that amount of money to spend. Luckily, I found one manufacturer in China and ordered a deck.LESSON 3. MAKE SURE YOU CLARIFY AND TRIPLE CHECK EVERYTHINGSo the deck came from China. They promised and assured me that I could draw on the colored side. Nope. As well, the long shipping made me lose another 3 weeks. Fuck. I should’ve requested a paper sample. My mistake.LESSON 4. CHINA ISN”T ALWAYS CHEAPERI then went looking for any local suppliers in Australia and BEHOLD, it was actually cheaper to find a local supplier. Albeit, the first deck arrived and it was perfect. Finally! A fantastic box supplier in US and an Australian card manufacturer. I now have a product… but how do I sell it?Marketing TimeLesson 5. DON”T BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR PRODUCTPretty self-explanatory but you see, when I created the deck, I realized no one had such an idea before. GOLD MINE! WHY SHOULD I TELL ANYONE? THEY MIGHT STEAL IT! I kept quiet about it (seriously, it wasn’t a goldmine and I should’ve been testing the concept earlier). I felt the idea was definitely going to be stolen. Unfortunately, only thing stolen was my logic and common sense. As a result, my initial marketing and customer research suffered. I actively started using Instagram and posting content about coloring and similar styles/designs to my cards but never actually revealed the product till the last moment. Big mistake. Sure the content I was posting made my account look pretty but for the actual purpose of my business, quite useless. Also, without showing and dabbling with my audience, I never really found out what consumers wanted or cared about coloring and specifically, my coloring playing cards. BIG MISTAKE.Lesson 6. DO MARKET RESEARCHI did none. I suffered. I assumed they’d love it. Assumed. To make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. And as a result of failing to discover the exact needs and the specific people that’d be interested, I lost out a whole new understanding for my product and obviously made my marketing attempt suffer.Lesson 7. DON”T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR LOGOLogo Styles I experimentedI wasted a long time doing this. Trust me. It’s not worth it at the start. Unless you’re relaunching a new P&G product, your 600 followers won’t care that much. Use your time for something else.Lesson 8. PEOPLE ARE STUPID. SPEAK STUPIDSo when I finally revealed the product leading up to my Kickstarter, I was met with a warm response and I decided to ump the marketing. I made a simple giveaway on my site where people had to submit their email and in return, they’d get 5 free coloring card PDF’s. Simple right? Nope. Under the “Please Put Your Email Here”, I had more than 35 submissions of people putting the word “Email” in there….Wonderful.I had people message my FB Page stating they got a virus called BMP. I had to explain to them it was a file format. I even had a lovely lady ask me if I could help her find the PDF files she downloaded on her computer. Albeit, I made mistakes by creating lead generation pages and giveaways that required more than 3 steps…. Something that many couldn’t do. Oh well. When I dumbed it down, results started happening and my mailing list started to grow.Lesson 9. BE REAL. SORTA…To connect with many other colorists on FB and get a feel of the market, I made a fake FB account of our brand personality and interacted with them through all the tight-knit FB coloring groups. This is something I highly recommend for you to try. The connection and support I made was valuable for the Kickstarter that was coming up.Kickstarter TimeLesson 10. MAKE SOME NOISEI was quiet for Kickstarter. I figured that I’d just rely on my FB personality sharing the announcement and my posts on Instagram alerting about it. I believed I had a fellowship already strong enough for Kickstarter which was sort of true, but having more fans, more money and more interest is always better. I could’ve done so much more by seeking PR, Journalists or even paid recommendations from influencers. But no I didn’t.Anyway, raised my $3k for PlayingColor and had enough to purchase a decent order to minimize my costs. Everything after went well though I planned to send these cards early November, the manufacturer screwed up the order and backlogged it till early December…. Meaning I missed out on Christmas. Not fun. But with all the delays throughout the year, I was just desperate for something to come soon.Lesson 11. TEST PRICING.One startling issue with PlayingColor was its location in Australia. Our main market was the US. To send a deck over there costs $7USD. Starting to see the problem? Because of shipping, selling a deck + shipping appeared extortionate to my customers and my demand flailed heavily. I ran numerous campaigns on FB and Instagram but sales were slow. People weren’t happy paying $14 for a deck of cards.Lesson 12. ONCE YOU COMMIT. COMMIT.Another issue arose in the start of this year. See, I got an internship/college opportunity to go to US for 6 months which I accepted. However, my spare time for PlayingColor quickly eroded. When I left to US, I took all the decks I had with me and tried selling it (albeit lazily) in US. I tried to run numerous FB advertising with no luck. Only one advert converted to sales but it just wasn’t financially working out for me. As well, with Kickstarter, I bought an order that supplied me with enough cards to last a short time (I was hoping sales would skyrocket and I’d buy a bigger order) but I was wrong. Here’s the example of our profits (not including Kickstarter). Just sales directly from Shopify and not from market stalls or other avenues.November $120.90 December $154.40 January $175.87 February $281.48The issue was that in February, my stock was down to 16 decks. I had to reorder but I wasn’t willing to. I managed to find a few quality suppliers in US for both the boxes and the cards but I knew deep down I wouldn’t have enough time to balance all my commitments. Furthermore, I’ll be going back home to Australia and I’d have to find a fulfillment company to ship and make the product competitive. I failed the product.Now, with my soon-graduation, changing employment and a health issue, this all has culminated in putting me out of action and destroying all my interest in PlayingColor. So that’s the story of my PlayingColor experience....Though, as I sit now thinking whether to sell or just end the company, I can’t help but be proud of the experience I’ve had. It’s been totally worth it with all the new knowledge and skills I’ve developed. As well, looks fantastic on the resume ;)If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I leave you with this quote “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

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