#it was over a FUCKING EMAIL TOO

[thesoundofmadness]

"lol poor Twitter employees are mad they lost their free breakfast how sad :(" no they're pissed because thousands of them lost their jobs without any warning or reason and no means of getting a backup, while everyone who's left is at risk of losing that job and whatever benefits they had from it because some greedy man-child with too much money doesn't know what he's fucking doing. Show some fucking sympathy you fucking idiot

#the docs #look the memes and identity verification thing is funny as shit but holy fuck think about the employees #but holy FUCK think about the workers #he fired literally everyone who was keeping the site running with 0 reason to do so and with 0 warning whatsoever #it was over a FUCKING EMAIL TOO #this whole deal is costing people their entire lives and all you care aboht is the fucking censorship #'hes fighting back against censorship!' oh really then #then why did he fire newrly two dozen people who critized him huh why did he try to inact a dumb paraody rule #be fucking honest you're just pissed you cant call people slurs #'they banned trump' yeah because he was spreading hatespeech and was an idiot in general #holy fuck what the fuck is fox news doing to you #sorry im just pissed about whay my dad said yesterday

[cirrus-grey]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the goddamn music-

I don't know the name for the technique but there's this thing that was in there that's the string players, like, tapping the instrument with the bow to create a more percussive sound and normally I wouldn't think too much of it but I swear to god it sounded like creeping spider legs. During the case set at Hill Top Road. With the very obvious references to the Buried and the Stranger and all the rest. Which dropped about a hundred Achives references including Jon's fucking name???

I have always respected the soundscaping they do at Rusty Quill but they're really going above and beyond for this show.

#i dont know if ill have any more coherent thoughts for this episode thb #my mind is just circling on 'celia knows celia KNOW tapes and manila folders??? doing her own research??? anything SPECIAL about #the ones that get read aloud????? #celia tma didnt know that much how does celia tmagp know did she talk to georgie and melanie after it all does she have news about them- #jon jon jon jon jon #lena worked for starkwell didnt she #jon- #did colin just fucking punch sam????? #j- #oh gwen you are in way over your head #dark coat does this worlds gerry work for starkwell too #celia KNOWS #JON #i hope people dont get too annoying about 'its really him' yall know it could just be an ai #SAM TALK TO CELIA ABOUT THE EMAIL FROM JON #i can send email - no shit really??' #...yeah. my brain's a mess right now #this is what i get for listening at 1am #the magnus protocol #7 give and take #tmagp spoilers #tmagp audio #my magnus protocol stuff #original post #queue cause i'll be at work when the episode airs

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane #i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile #this week was just horrible #there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe #even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment #during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll #the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab #AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ????? #then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly #i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window #im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard- #to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner #which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment #where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough #and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful #and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired. #im in so much pain and so stressed out #debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame

[wrenhavenriver]

honestly tho, imagine me earlier today, stuck in a brain-foggy out-of-body experience because of [gestures at last five days], opening tumblr to see dh3 rumors leaked. immediately upgraded the entire experience to Actual Living Fever Dream. will return to lucidity in 3-5 business weeks

#also my typing is completely fucked atm? #i've been doing touch typing from the age of like 8 and now i keep misjudging where all the rows are and just typing utter nonsense #then adding to it when i misjudge the fucken delete key too #had to write a semi-professional email this morning and it took me 3 hours because i kept falling asleep and/or writing gibberish #finally got discharged from the hospital this afternoon tho! just in time for me to freak out over finals #i really don't wanna take 'incompletes' for my classes so we're just gonna have to make it work #drdp // #just in case #medical //

[planet4546b]

i need 2 get my ears repierced.

#pers #i need to wear gay earringggggggggs i need to do bad. unfortunately im scared of needles #but also i need to just commit and do it so i can get over it and get more piercings too #I ASO NEED TO MAKE THAT TATTOO APPOINTMENT. fuck this i’m emailing them today

[bitchfitch]

tbh I think the cruelest part of my sorta. current healthcare predicament is that I meet the requirements for prescription weed a few times over, my insurance will pay for it, I know the exact pain management doc I'd go to to get it, But I can't get an appointment with him because I cant get an appointment with a primary care doc. My insurance won't cover virtual visits and most doctors won't see you if they don't take your insurance, even if you pay out of pocket to get them to write the referrals you need to see the people who can Actually do something to help you.

#ive called every pcp within about 2hours of me over the last year. #🫠 i deserve free weed. #for having to put up with this bullshit. #The worst part is i have coverage from my parents insurance too. and basically All of the docs take it! But they cant bill it since its not #my primary insurance. #Anyways. abolish insurance as a fucking concept. #I literally just need someone to send a fucking email. #Thats it.

[frecklystars]

I wonder if Barbie and Ken were confused when they went to the real world and discovered that their clothes weren't magically appearing on their bodies at the shop, and that they had to actually put them on themselves.

But maybe they were already aware of humans not having magic like that. Maybe they know everything in BarbieLand is based on your imagination. They seemed aware of other things for some reason? They know what genitals are even if nobody in BarbieLand has any at all, which also confuses me? They know they're dolls being played with, which makes sense bc that's their purpose. Do they have some sort of awareness of the real world automatically when they're created, because they know they're being played with? Do they HAVE to have some idea of how certain things work in the real world? Margot said there was going to be a scene where Barbie and Ken actually do try to kiss each other after the dance party but neither of them knew how kissing would work so they'd just bonk their faces together, but they couldn't pull it off without making it look awkward so they scrapped the scene. And in the movie it seems like they do know how kissing would work bc Ken goes for a kiss three times.

Barbie didn't react when she drank tea for the first time, she didn't react to the taste of it. At first I thought maybe she'd just be so focused on making sure she didn't spill it that she didn't care what was hitting her taste buds, but then I remembered that she reacted with disgust when she "drank" the imaginary expired milk. So the fake food does have taste in their world. That's interesting.

#but that last part also confuses me bc margot said in an interview that barbie DOESNT taste things #she was like 'she'd be thrilled to try any food in the real world for the first time' #'if she had crackers she'd think they're amazing just bc she's actually eating them' #but why would she be thrilled if she CAN taste in barbieland? #maybe margot forgot bc she was working on the movie for literaly years and that scene shes eating waffles is barely 2 seconds #or maybe i misunderstood and she meant she would just enjoy food that they dont make in barbieland #like idk they probably dont have plastic crackers #would barbie be surprised to turn on the shower and it's real water shooting in her face? #would she be surprised to step on the pool and actually fall into it instead of walking over it? #they experienced elements in the real world for the very first time #i wonder if they felt the heat of the sun and wondered what the hell that was #i wonder if they'd react to rain. if they knew what that is or if they'd be like 'oh kids pretend it rains when they play all the time' #do the kens magically change clothes too? they dont have closets or homes #where the hell do they get dressed? do their barbies give them clothes?? #kens got no house no car no phone no email no job no prospects he's got NOTHIN #ryan gosling rly said ken has absolutely fucking nothing but he's got all the genitals #interested in horses but not interesting as a person at all dont make that mistake thats a slippery slope #his words not mine #woof

[magnoliamyrrh]

its been insane witnessing the full force of propaganda and american imperialism with my own two eyes as an adult these past few years. obviously ive known abt it plenty and seen it before, but witnessing it at this age with this much force is... dystopian and crazy

#i rly think its accurate to say were living through a second post nine eleven #......... #whats been terrifying too is seeing how.... the things done have only done so much #protests All Over the world including the imperial core So Many cracked down on so hard or seemingly without doing fuck all at #a systemic level. like i couldn't tell u if me or anyone else spending hours calling representatives and writing emails did a single thint #if all the protests in america did anything systemically. the government is doing the same exact shit its been doing despite it #all the un resolutions and calls and anything seem to also have been useless. no matter how many countries voted for a ceasefire in #whichever meeting?? just bc america and israel voted against and bc the un is clearly the lapdog on a leash of the american empire #... i know bolivia and colombia (?) cut diplomatic ties with israel and yamen threathened to declare war and several countries have #threathened several things... and yet. #god sake america has send fucking navy and soldiers to help in the genocide its fucking vile 🤢 #and israel (+ us) have fucking bombed and killed civilians in other Fucking Countries Than Palestine and this shit is still going on #.... . i guess were seeing some of the effects of boycotting which is good for sure but that dont stop the actual thing #its just so fucked. our generation has caught a lot of wild shit but i dont know if ive ever seen such great international outcry globally #from populations as i have seen for palestine #AND YET. and yet it continues. and yet it goes on #its fucking horrifying #..... i was thinking too like. in a theoretical scenario lets say everyone in america could get on board with refusing to pay taxes. like #just fuck it. no more funding of this. #but the american government has so much money and power that it wouldnt rly stop them for at least a good while. also. i doubt they wouldn't #commit atrocities on a population that would refuse that hard. and what then? revolution in the streets? in the country made up of 51 #countries? where sure the civilians have guns but the government has shit we cant even dream of? #. #all of this is so deeply dystopian and pained #and im not saying this in some sort of nothing matters so dont do anything way dont speak abt it dont call dont protest dont boycott etc #even when there is 0 hope we have to try #............ but its deeply horrifying

[arowrath]

Me when move in day is in less than a week and i still dont know if im going to move in .

#text #no email from disability yet (because i emailed them over the weekend) #i am so freeking scared #and if i decide not to go if i dont get a single room . What am i gonna tell my parents #hahaha. fuck #like i should start packing in case but also if i DONT go then i dont want to like . i dunno #god i have to go shopping too at some point . ONe week #and my parents want to do a tour and i reallyyyyy dont want to do a tour with them #goddd i just . AAAAGHH :( #katy offered to help me move in at least . i love her so dearly #She said i could namedrop her on my blog she wants to be like a cryptid in the nik aropride community #anyway. wauggh. im so scared #neg

[tariah23]

Gonna quit my job 😭!!!

#hell yeah! #this whole work week has been so… yeah it’s over I’m gonna deal with this anymore I’m not even gonna send an email but I’m definitely gonna #write a lengthy review on yelp for all to see #my sis is gonna quit tomorrow too but I’ll be better if they they fired her so that she could get unemployment #it’s just gotten to the point where the work environment is just fucking unbearable bro #rambling #they think ppl need this job ☠️ #I’m gonna get on indeed immediately! I’m not coming back anymore!

[sux2be]

taking my heart out and stomping into the ground dont you dare get another friend crush. dont fucking do it.

#ITS SO FRUSTRATING !!!!! #i think someone is cool and then they pay an attention to me and i am lost #i am drawing them pics and making them little gifts and thinking about all the fun things we can do together #i spend my free time thinking of reasons to talk to them #u might be like hmm this sounds like a romantic crush #but i can assure it is not #it CAN turn into one over many years #i kno bc one did and i suffer even more for it #its Very Obvious bc when its a non-platonic crush i will get suuuuuper possesive and jealous #but UGH friend crushes suck especially bc i dont have the bandwidth to rly pursue them AND #i always feel like i come at it too intensely so in order to escape rejection i run #its fine i am fine i can be Normal about things #its okay i will hide from this one like ive done all the others #its this person named Toad and they are so cool they do like climate activisim and they support local punk bands #its also reminding me of Dev. i am so sorry dev. #he was this super cool ass dude that i worked with for 4 years and he was So Neat and interesting to talk to #he knew soooooo much about cooking and he was really well read #and his humor was great. super dry and sarcastic i was always laughing lol #i wanted to be friends with him SO BAADDD #and he has no social media or even like. texting #so before i left i demanded his email address #and I emailed him One time and he replied and i ghosted him #bc here is another issue: i cant fucking communicate #how keep friends if u dont talk to them???? #anyways the brain worms are eating good tonight

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing #and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song #mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code #for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming #and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches #and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt #last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad #ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool #coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple #the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting #ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck #theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im #looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there #like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that #slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head. #ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist #listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me #unrelated

[rosicheeks]

i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?! #I literally am speechless #I’m not super talky right now #but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless #like I already said I love your writing 🩷 #and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration #like????????? what??????? me???????????! #I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down #I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true #I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty #one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me #idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing #not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately #and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon - #my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that #I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks) #and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life #so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know #asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes #and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️ #then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A #and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol #but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6 #and she was talking about how impressive that is #and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get #I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’ #it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again #who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting #I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory #anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[be-gay-do-crime-ahaha]

Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #sensory processing disorder #tw emetophobia #for the nausea mention #idk if that’s needed or not #but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind #it’s so over #lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit #and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role #even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now #and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well #so that’s not helping #and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman #and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses #(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient) #and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine” #like fucking hell #shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once #man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit #and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks #and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the #stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit #I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about #it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed #to bring myself to start working on it #and things are just gonna get more and more difficult #so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys #did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress #tw suicidal thoughts

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

anybody wanna nominate themselves to kill me with hammers?

#somehow the week of spring break is my most incredibly busy week with work. KRILLS MYSELF!! #im on our colony care rotation. im doing my grant experiment that takes 3hrs a day. my TA prof wants me to grade a shitton of stuff. my PI #was like can you get an updated draft to me by wednesday? ^_^ gonna have to tell him no fucking way tomorrow #bc we are also having a fucking forensics meeting #i wanted to go on another bug catching trip with a friend on wednesday but idk if ill be able to now :( #and i wanted to have a wine and cheese night. no fucking way im gonna feel up to hosting that this week #i was supposed to have an appointment this last wednesday. lady cancelled last minute and said how about monday (tomorrow)? and i thought #that would be fine. but i just had to text and be like hey sorry dont think i can #im probably forgetting something too. who fucking knows. #i wanted to clean my room bc its looking like the fucking labyrinth trash lady zone in there but fuck me i dont have the energy to #oh edit from one minute later. just got an email from my prof abt an assignment he wants us to do over spring break in my horrid fucking R #coding class. yeah im killing myself 😁👍🏻

[citrinide]

Tjats a new one to add to the therapy conversations huh

#oh hey the thing I literally said was probably the issue was the issue and *I* fixed it look at that #but yes we definitely need to go through the process of forking over these to a store thatll literally just #tell you the exact fucking thing I did with a high ass price tag #because you personally are so shit with technology and refuse to believe I'm actually right about ANYTHING. #My phone is fine. Sucks for you that youre the only one experiencing problems (that i fixed. because you put it in too loosely.) #but this is literally none of our issue. #also how fucking stupid do you have to be to look at your comp sci major child WHO LIVES NOWHERE NEAR CAMPUS AND HAS NO OTHER WSY TO COMMUNI #CATE and go 'yeah Im sure you dont need your phone for your ~6 away from home and with public transport :)' #LIKE ARE YOU ACTUALLY THIS FUCKING STUPID??? #AN ISSUE THAT I FIXED SO EASILY. AND YOU'RE DOUBLING DOWN TO THIS DEGREE INSTEAD OF ADMITTING YOU JUMPED THE SHARK #cecil.fm #ours work perfectly fine now that i fixed it 'yeah well im still going to need your phones >:( also remove your lock >:(' #be honest. are you just mad you dont have an 'acceptable' excuse to go through my shit anymore because im an adult? #because i. yknow. kinda fucking need it FOR on campus communication. emails to staff dont just manifest out of nowhere #i cant just telepathically convey information to my group project partners who may not even be ON campus #i can NOT WAIT to get the fuck out of here oh my god #need a tea or smth tmrrw jfc.