#it wont even be nice idk why im so fixated on it

[radiovisual]

are you going to come back?

((I keep telling myself im going to, but im not sure. Im especially unhappy with how this blog was written and how it looks at the moment, bc theres a lot of things id Want to change before getting back into rp here, but I have no energy or motivation to do so 😔 my art block from last year is Still ongoing, im still deeply fixated on other fandoms, and VERY recently I had an epiphany of some kind and haven't been able to stop paying attention to the news, bc anxieties about what's happening in Gaza/the West Bank, Sudan, and Chile, and not to mention this next American presidential election, have me reassessing my priorities in life, ykwim?))

((Im still around technically, i wont be deleting this blog or anything, im just in kind of a tough spot, mentally+emotionally+physically, and that makes it hard to get reinvested in something like this.))

((There's also the factor of... feeling rather restricted in this community. It's not any particular person or group of ppls fault, people are entitled to feel however they want around fictional subjects and themes, but i know that the types of things that i like to write and rp are dark and mature, and this fandom [despite the Nature of the show itself and the topics it covers] tends to attract a lot of very aggressive, very judgemental people -- as im sure youre all aware 😂 i found some friends here, but even still, a lot of the time i know i Can't get into the kind of stuff i ACTUALLY want to write, because most of the ppl in this community would [at least, way back when,] assume that That kind of writing means I'm a bad, dangerous person who wants to engage with those themes in real life 🙃. Which isn't to say anyone is Wrong for avoiding me if darker themes trigger them, by all means PLEASE block me for your sanity if thats what you have to do!! but when most all of those Exact Themes are LITERALLY, graphically present in the show, now, it's like. Idk man whats going on! Why are you here! if sexually abusive relationships bother these fans so much, then Why are they in THIS fandom of all places instead of somewhere tangibly Safer for their sanity, yk???))

(( i don't know. Maybe im just a brat, but ive always felt a little put out by the Hazbin community online. Its extremely self policing and isolating trying to find people i can feel comfortable talk to about my ideas, so ive kind of... given up and moved on, found a nice group of Freaks to be perverted about the Avatar sequel instead lmao))

((So... idk. I guess we'll see. But im very sorry it may have been wishful thinking when i said id come back. I really, truly meant it at the time -- things just changed 💔, both in me And in the community. And maybe theyll change again, idk!but i Do know there's people in this overarching Hazbin Tumblr RP community who don't like me very much (which is Okay), and I don't want to force myself to walk on eggshells anymore -- so I'm won't💪😎))

((I adored my time here while i was active, whuch it why i wont delete it -- i go back to re read threads all the time! -- but unless there's a group of sexual weirdos developing that i could fall in with AND I can find a way to balance this with the rest of my life, im still gonna be on this indefinite hiatus 💀👍 sorry))

((Btw -- Palestinians are in desperate need of e-SIMs to keep in touch with their loved ones and to organize humanitarian aid within the Gaza strip itself -- if any of you have a few spare dollars, please consider getting involved. I know the news is very quiet rn, especially if you're in America like me, but let me make this very clear; We are. kind of sort of Already IN World War Three. Russia and China and the global south are finally starting to hold the west accountable and the west is failing a shitting its pants about it Spectacularly. The world order is literally shifting. There's not one, but SEVERAL major international conflicts brewing right now, as America is sliding into fascism at break neck speed bc Genocide Joe is finally realizing he's probably not going to get re-elected [on account of all the genocide] on TOP of finally seeing the tangible effects of climate change. South America and Australia are on FIRE. Like NEVER before.))

((Never Again is Now. We could be going over the temperature "tipping point" of the planet BY 2030. now is NOT the time to be wallowing in escapism, no matter how much we desperately need/want it. If there is EVER a time to get involved with the real world and to take a step back from the internet and high stress fandom bullshit, it is NOW. No matter what Side of these issues you stand on, EVERYONE needs to be voting, everyone needs to be paying attention.))

(( if you can't afford esims [no shame, i often can't either, money is tight everywhere], then at the very least get This website open in your tabs. It generates revenue with free Daily clicks, the proceeds of which are all sent to UN organizations -- particularly UNRWA, which is VITAL to maintain not only getting aid INTO Gaza, but also retaining Palestinians legal right to return to their land -- without UNRWA, Isreal can begin to LEGALLY, haphazardly "deport" Palestinians, which would take YEARS to reverse through future court proceedings. Do your part, it only takes a few seconds a day 💪🌱))

((Alright, thats all! Sorry if you wanted a short sweet answer, but ive actually been ruminating on all of this, so thank you for this ask, for giving me a chance to talk about it all. Im happy to see this community thriving in the wake of Season 1, even if im not joining in myself -- you all keep up the great work, and keep having fun with it ❤ let it empower you to explore the value of Charlie's message and think of ways to impliment it in your daily life And on the world at large‼))

#{ ooc } #{ answered }

[imnotabean]

peeps i wont b posting until i do the fkckging horse idea so please be patient i will be gone 

#fr tho #this is a reminder for myself #i will see this when i try to post something else #this stupid idea has haunted me for days now #it wont even be nice idk why im so fixated on it #bye guys i see u when i finally learn how to draw a hrose #edit im not capable of this i love social media i cant live w/o posting stuff #this tag its gonna be my only soruce of communication until i finish the drawing #is** #i cant say **fuck* there are too many kids following this #so editing this again on 04/04 uh i started the horse idea #hoping it works #ive been working on it for like two hours and mmmm still a lot of work to do #the bad thing is #im one of those ppl that cant focus on anything else when they have an idea #so if i dont finish it this weekend i wont be doing my homework and thats a fact #it happens all the time #a bean talks

[mrskurono]

ANON: ahah ahaha aha ah, high as a kite megumi anon here. i got another idea if u do not mind😗😳 l8 night thots be simple yet sophisticated...

so like i will reiterate that lowkey forcefeeding megumi who’s a blubbering red faced mess gets me going. sure u like to dope him to the max, but just making him eat in general? wow.. hes sat up against the headboard and u straddle his lap, treats in hand, saying megumi bby i made these special, just for u, why wont u have my special treats :( he tells u nono im not hungry im not hungry..head sorta drops to hang at his shoulder and he turns away just a little bit... opens his mouth right when u tear a bite sized piece of food and touch it to his lips. he doesnt rly have the strength to open his eyes anymore, he jus feels something near his mouth(its that oral fixation dude, maybe he thinks ur gonna let him suck ur fingies again) so he eats, n he eats, n he eats...after swallowing the first two bites he knows to open wide and wait for the next piece to go in. u ask him if he liked it and he jus giggles and says “more pls?”

YO I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOE SHOWERING WITH HIM HOLY FUCK

OK SO LIKE THERES A SEAT IN THERE IN THE SHOWER YEAH??? AND OK COCKWARMING YEAH???? ok solike ur afraid of him slipping and falling bc yeah it makes sense, megumi can stand but he can barely manage seeing where hes going and his legs wont rly do what he wants so he trips. bby is covered in sweat and other bodily fluids(u are as well) and so when u go in the shower to wash off, u place him on the seat in there and sit next to him(listen its a big shower and theres like those built in benches yknow) SO THEN HES ALL TOUCHY FEELY AND LAUGHY AND STUFF and u decide hey. my little puppy sit in my lap. BUT HERES THE THING. u got the strap im so sorry is that what its called and have HIM KINDA GET COCKWARMED !!!!!!!!! AND HIS MOANING JS ECHOING OFF THE WALLS AND UR LIKE shhhh megumi lemme jus wash ur hair and then ill take real good care of u, jus a few more minutes, and ur running ur hand thru his hair thats dripping water from the showerhead pouring down on both of u and he wants to move so bad but ur grip on his waist is enough to keep him still and both of his hands jus clasp around his dick and tries to get off that way but as we say, doped up megumi doesnt have much coordination or control after a while😩

What is it with the food bc like, I get it??? Inherently I like to feed people (I love cooking and baking and always try to get people to eat anyways I can’t help it) But this Megumi thing PHEW it has me acting up in a way I didn’t know what a thing!

Megumi strung out in your lap, after you really got him nice and just checked tf for everything, so you’re giving him something to eat. It’s been a while and poor baby has expended so much energy you gotta make sure he doesn’t get light headed right? But imagine giving him something of conflicting tempatures. Like fruit or something that’s been in the fridge. And him scrunching his face up being like “no…’tsk too cold…I- I can’t no.” Of course you run it along his bottom lip and that needy fuck opens his mouth hoping you’ll put something in it (god we’ve talked about fingers but like….full on just having him suck on a strap on/any sex toy ok my thoughts are, feral) and Megumi arguing the entire time in incoherent sentences to top it off but he keeps eating it. Praising him telling him what a good boy he is and just- asdfghjkl- I can’t explain it I gotta feed doped up Megumi

And- AHEM….YOU GENIUS WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT

Ok ok ok, lemme self indulge in a little kink of mine (idk if its a kink, i just know it feels good and I liked doing it) but you’ve got Megumi resting so nicely between your legs like a good boi. He’s sat all the way down on your strap on and kinda wiggling and moaning, cheeks flush red and his lips slightly parted bc all he can think about is his tingling body and your toy filling him up. But, instead of jerking him off, you use the shower head. Megumi embarrassed but you just keep hushing and cooing in his ear “Shh baby boy we gotta clean you up” “My puppy’s all messy I can’t let you sleep like this” “Let me clean you up.”

It starts as legit cleaning him off. Soaping up his stomach and lower body. Reaching around pressing that toy further into him, and lathering all over him. He’s fifthly you can’t get that back in your bed. So you’re washing him up and of course that strung out idiot pops a boner. Easier to clean right? So you play with him, all soapy and suddy and a moaning mess as he can’t really move with your toy up him. But got the feeling is incredible. Just to whimper and whine when you tell him you have to rinse him off. This is where it gets fun. Noticing he bucks up when the spray of water crosses his cock. And like most shower heads have a “massage” setting on them. So switching it up and teasingly running the water over his achingly hard cock. Megumi comes undone he is a sobbing overstimmed mess at this point. The water feels so good against the underside of his cock. He’s babbling nonsense and moaning up a storm even as you hush him. Fingers in his mouth might do something but the way he reacts to the water massaging his cock is something else. He’s groaning on your fingers, wiggling back on your cock and his poor cock is twitching up and down with the aid of the water stream and nothing else. You don’t think he’s gonna cum like this until suddenly he bucks his hips up and cries an incoherent version of your name. Body spasming as he cums hands free just from the feeling of the water against his cock and the way your toy pressed right up into his sensitive spot. I just- *chefs kiss* God I would pay to watch this with my life

#megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #threethirst

[jpegjade]

Mr. Loverman (Pt. 3)

Alright frens and ferns. we’re gonna go through this shorter chapter. Still like 3 google docs pages but my fics are normally like 4-6 pages. (if you can’t tell, i’m a one-shot writer AND HAVENT WRITTEN A STORY FIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 14. shoutout to the wattpad days.) so this one is shorter bc i need to work but i wanted to put this out. part 4 will be much longer. idk how long im gonna end up making this fic in the end. ((yall gotta keep me encouraged to focus on this thing bc my adhd will in fact leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger and we wont look back lmao)))

i apologize for the shortness. i also apologize for adding the person i hate with a BURNING passion. yall just dont know. anyway, i’m so sorry. and for those who haven’t gotten to 11/12, there are no spoilers. this is like independent of that storyline and kinda after but i’ll explain a little in the next chapter. but i wanted to keep this true to the cm universe. also i didn’t want to create a wholeass character with a tragic backstory to explain why they’re a psychopath when in reality they just suck. that takes too damn long

warnings: none that i can think of. ((i dont even think i swore once. im so fucking proud. oops)) and no, i didnt proof read. so roll with any mistakes.

mr. loverman 1: Bloop

mr. loverman 2: bloop bloop 

____________________ 

“Y/n, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious lately? Anyone you recognized from one place appearing in other spaces?” Prentiss said. 

Everyone was staring at you. You felt the pressure on you to say the right thing but you didn’t know. You didn’t know what to say so you tried honesty. 

“No, not that I’ve noticed. Sorry if that makes things harder.” You sighed. 

You felt like you were letting everyone down because you didn’t notice anyone. Everything in your life was mundane and nothing stood out. You were super aware of your surroundings but you still felt like it wasn’t enough. You spent more time than ever in your apartment, which was hell but necessary with everything going on.

“Here’s the problem.” Emily started. “We have received intel that you’re on a bounty hunter’s hit list. Not only that but they have been watching you for some time now.” 

You were speechless. Who would pay to have you killed? Who did you piss off enough to pay money to have you killed? And what did this bounty hunter look like? This made you incredibly nervous and despite being away for two years, your body just reacted. 

Spencer told himself not to freak out. This didn’t mean anything. You were holding his hand tightly. It was what you used to do every time you got scared. Spencer squeezed your hand a little bit to let you know he was there and then he felt you squeeze back. You didn’t let go of his hand through the rest of the conversation but Spencer was barely paying attention. Garcia eventually ushered the two of you out of the room and back to your temporary bedroom. 

The silence between you and Spencer was incredibly loud. You let go of his hand as soon as you got to the breakroom, apologizing. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” You said. You figured that he would know what you were talking about. You sat in your corner of the mattress where you previously sat and Spencer sat in the space he occupied before the meeting. 

“No, you were scared. It’s okay.” He said. 

Silence that seemed to last forever happened. You were thinking about him and he was thinking about you. You were both so nervous about what came next but you didn’t know what to say. It took forever to come up with something but Spencer came up with something. 

“I wasn’t lying.” Spencer looked down at his shoes. 

“About?” You said, confused. You leaned your head against the wall. You were getting so tired. 

“Missing you. You have been all that I’ve thought about through these past two years.” He said, finally looking up at you. 

“Spence…” You said, yawning. You closed your eyes for a moment. 

“I haven’t connected to anyone else as naturally as I connected with you.” He said. 

“Well, I guess I can’t say anything different since I haven’t been able to move on.” You said, sleepily. It had been a long day and you were beyond exhausted. When you’re that tired, anything you say is bound to be unfiltered. 

“You were the only one who cared for me, all of me, and didn’t mind everything that came with me. No one gets that. No one cares about me like you do, even now. I couldn’t bear to take the ring off because it would mean losing a piece of you. And I couldn’t do that. I may have broken off the relationship but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. To this day, I…” You barely said before you fell asleep. 

Spencer thought about waking you but you looked so peaceful. He hated when he was left on a cliffhanger, especially like this, but you needed rest. So Spencer gently helped you lay down and covered you with your blanket. He was about to walk outside the door to guard and take a breather but you grabbed his arm and mumbled a very small, “Stay.” 

And that’s what he did. He stayed, holding you while you slept peacefully. He was so comfortable that he eventually nodded off. That was the first time in two years that he didn’t have a nightmare that scared him awake. 

When he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. Frantically searching, he ran all over the floor before noticing it was sunrise. You loved watching the sun rise in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a nice playlist going. 

“Hey, Spence.” You said, looking out the window. You looked rested, not tired like yesterday. 

“Y/n, you scared me. I thought something happened.” He said, looking at you. How did you make a sundress look so pretty? 

“Sorry. I thought about waking you but you were smiling in your sleep, the small, happy smile you do, and I wanted you to sleep. Besides, I had Cat to keep me company.” 

Spencer’s blood ran cold. That wasn’t possible. He was jumping to conclusions and you were sure it was just an intern or someone who…

“Hey Spencie. I’m having a grand time with y/n here. She’s a ball of sunshine.” Cat said, a fake smile fading into a straight face. 

Spencer immediately grabbed for his gun but didn’t find it anywhere on his hip. 

“Looking for this?” Cat took the gun out of her bag and pointed it directly at Spencer. 

Your head could barely comprehend what was happening. You were instructed to put your hands up and walk into the conference room, sitting across from each other. 

“And no touching. That’s no fun.” Cat pointed the gun at Spencer. You noticed that she was fixated on Spencer. You guessed that they somehow knew each other.

You were already in tears. What was happening? Could you make it out of this one alive? 

_____________________

Tag list: 

@dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal

@andiebeaword

@justanothetfangirl

@fanfictionreader05 

@addie5264

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid imagine #cm #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds

[oswednesday]

so like my mom acted like she didnt bring anything from the grandparents house, but i was in her room gathering trash and i was like where are the bags she got from the house a while back? like shes gone back to using like this big ratty bag she got from a thrift store, my gut says she sold them it was two of them like, and while i was looking for these bags i found under some wallmart bags of some shirts that idk who theyre for, maybe my brother, one i kind of want to just snag and hope she forgot about getting but like these bags are like very deliberately on top of these old amazon boxes that i did notice she was gathering in her room are a few like cups and such from the gparents house so she like took them out of whatever she brought them in and like ?hid? them for some reason in amazon boxes, i could Almost wonder that theyll be gifts for me but i big time doubt that so its ??? that she went through the effort to hide them like that tho that Would explain why she launched into the whole what are you going to get me for xmas before i was even asked or even said anything about it, which like of course i want my grandparents things to be like passed down to me but my mom has succh a fixation on things that arnt like heirlooms in any way shape or form, like the thing with like the decades old cutting board thats like 20 dollars online dfgdfg or like this series of bone porcelain thats like i can find on ebay for like 12 dollars (which is what she took this time), when they have like really nice stuff thats like irreplaceable or very cost prohibited to replace, i mean she has taken some grandma art which feels like this big evil act she did like she had them all hung up in her room only until like recently when she brought one out in the living room but it was like weeks after its was like hey what should we do with this and i was like oh we should have it in the living room and she hung it in her room by her bed like gdfgdf and she has two paintings that were apart of a bigger series and its like she rotten of her to have them like i even asked for one instead of just taking it and she was like no teehee they should be together like, as if she wont like destroy it or try to sell it the moment she thinks she can get something out of it, or even leave it behind if she decides to move on a whim when im gone which like is a thing that might happen since thats what shes literally done every time ive moved out of the house she’s in, but back to the bags they probs werent worth much but still like designer bag price range cause she has like no eye for when stuff is nice and expensive and it really drives me insane that shes like this like being extra suzzy not even grabbing the nicer things (or they Were really expensive and she sold them like she did that to greatgrandmas jewlery when she got them after all the estate stuff was done with) , and she’ll act like theyre super sentimental to her like theres some of greatgrandmas like lower price dishes like 12 dollar plate kinda thing but like she hasnt grabbed like quilts or like dolls or anything so i think she just thinks she has something super valuable that she stopped her sister/late brother from getting when its like, stuff you can get at like macys

[lil-mariokart]

okay! we said a lot of stuff to eachother and we’re not like. fixed, but maddan is helping me write an apology and he’s making me a lot more confident that we’re going to be okay. I still feel pretty 😔but nowhere near as bad as i was before.  i sent this i thought this was going to go the other way but i think that to feel better i need to do this even though i really don’t want to. i’m going to take a break from talking at all for a while. maybe around a week. i don’t know. i need to learn not to hurt people with what i say and i know that i will. i’m sorry for everything that i said and everything that i might’ve made you feel, but i just wanted assurance that we were going to be okay because my brain was being irrational in the moment. you’ve helped me so much with everything but i need to take this into my own hands because i’m really the only person who can make me better. i might take this back sooner then i though, i might not, you might say something like right away that makes everything change in my head, i don’t know! thank you for everything that you’ve done for me also i’m not breaking up with you if that’s what this looks like i hope this is what you wanted to hear, and i hope this makes me better i might regret sending this this. was terrible. there are so many things wrong with it that i read over like 40 times but just couldnt see this is what he sent in response i think it's smart of you to take some time away. i know you want to be better. but holy shit i do not understand why it is always implicitly my responsibility to fix shit and i . idk it really did rub me the wrong way, the way you are fixated on our relationship when you really need to be dedicating time to learning and growing out of that bubble of casual insensitivity. i get that you care about me but you need to prioritize LEARNING. for someone who is so concerned with their reputation and people not forgiving them you seem to put too much energy into the wrong places. sometimes i feel pressured to be on your side even when i maybe should disagree. that is just unfortunately a combination of my fear of conflict and then also maybe feeling guilt tripped a little. i am happy to support you and hear your complaints about issues  but sometimes it really messes with my head. i dont feel like farah was as in the wrong as you made her out to be. this does not invalidate the impact and pain for you, not in the slightest. but i was given such a one-sided and negative depiction of her, to the point where you compelled me to talk about her behind her back? that isnt okay. i wont be tolerating that again.[5:17 PM]i am still concerned that i overreacted to all of this, but regardless i am hurt that my really insanely desperate efforts to disregard my anger and instead comfort you in a time where you maybe should have been left a little uncomfortable were fruitless. i feel like we ended up here because im too nice or passive about what happened and i dont want to make that mistake again. i cannot keep coddling you when you say "im sorry" and then turn around and say some fuck shit again like. start owning up to the shit that has happened instead of caring more about the other shit human decency and compassion is a lot more important than making sure a boy still likes you. it's manipulative to do something wrong and then have me be like 'it's okay' before any real change has been made. fucked up to give an apology and take a perfectly reasonable break and then be like "i hope that's what you wanted to hear", makes it sound like you didnt mean what you said and that you dont care what's being told to you, just that youre saying it to appease me. i care about you very deeply. but when you come back lots of things need to change . i want this to work you KNOW im stubborn about this. but that effort cannot be onesided anymore. this really hit me like a ton of bricks because like. there was a lot of shit behind the scenes that i just didnt know about. i didnt know i was being guilt trippy or that he took the thing about farah so seriously. theres a lot more shit that i need to make up for then i thought there was, but im going to do it