#it’s funnier when they’re sharing a room. like at that point they’re essentially there’s only one bed-ing themselves and have the thinnest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lifeonashelf · 3 years

Text

COHEN, LEONARD

So, here’s the thing: I don’t know anything about Leonard Cohen.

I do own two of his most acclaimed albums, but don’t get too excited. I bought both of them the week of Cohen’s passing solely because learning of his passing made me realize I didn’t have anything by him in my collection, and he’s always been on my radar as an artist I should probably know some things about, you know? I listened to those two discs one day while I was cleaning my apartment or something, and they were lovely and pleasant and sounded great, but then I filed them away on my shelf and that was essentially the extent of my immersion into the world of Leonard Cohen. I know the reissues I purchased are noteworthy entries in his discography, because they’re housed in these rather attractive hardcover digipacks with booklets that feature lengthy contextual essays written by people way smarter than me. I suppose I could read those essays and glean a little information about Cohen that way, but then I’d just be offering you disingenuous regurgitation, and I don’t want to fake anything in these pages; that’s kind of counteractive to the entire purpose of me writing these dumb things. So if you want to read a thoughtful essay about Leonard Cohen constructed by someone who I assume knows enough about Leonard Cohen to warrant being paid to write an essay about him, you should definitely seek out the striking deluxe editions of Songs From a Room and Songs of Love and Hate I’m referring to, because both have essays in them, and they’re printed on glossy paper so they’re probably pretty good (very few crappy essays get preserved on glossy paper).

No one is paying me to write this essay about Leonard Cohen—they’d be pretty stupid to do so, since I don’t know anything about Leonard Cohen—but I have that pair of records and he’s the next artist on alphabetical deck. So here we are.

Actually, you know what? Before we get started, I’m going to go ahead and advise you to just skip this piece altogether.

Hear me out. I can’t imagine this is going to be one of my better entries; considering my not knowing anything about the person I’m supposed to be writing about and all, the odds of my somehow summoning literary gold here aren’t particularly strong. Also, Leonard Cohen is a highly respected artist, and based on the listening I’m doing right now, he definitely deserves that respect—I’m on my second spin of Songs from a Room and it is an absolutely beautiful record. But what am I accomplishing by telling you that? You probably already know Songs From a Room is an absolutely beautiful record, and if you don’t, you should totally listen to it right this minute instead of reading anything I might observe about it, because the album is a whole lot better than this essay is going to be. I’ve been down this road before, so I can tell you exactly what’s about to happen here: I’m going to keep prattling on with gibberish just like this and end up embarrassing myself by blowing yet another chance to write something substantial about a substantial artist. I guess I could comment on how much I like the two Cohen songs that were used to bookend the mindfuck of a film Natural Born Killers or something, but what purpose will that serve? There, I commented on it, and biting into those ‘member berries hasn’t magically ignited some spirited dissertation, has it? Look, I’m saying this because I care: I really think you should call it quits on this piece right here and now, before you get in too deep. I’m already doomed, but it’s not too late to save yourself. Run, go, get to the choppah. Fly away, Clarice, fly fly fly. ‘Member?

Okay, you’ve been duly warned. So if you do decide to continue on, I’m not going to feel terribly bad about wasting your time, especially since I essentially just promised you anything I write from this point forward is going to be a waste of your time. I mean, everything I’ve written so far has also been a waste of your time, but I haven’t written that much yet. And at least the stuff I wrote so far has served a purpose: it cautioned you that everything to come is going to be an even bigger waste of your time. I can’t promise any of the supplemental paragraphs I’m about to compose will be worth even that much, so I really have to advise you to take a moment here and consider your situation carefully. Weighing everything I’ve just told you about my not knowing anything about Leonard Cohen (and, just to be clear, I’m not playfully minimizing that disposition; I honestly don’t know shit about him), along with my stated unambiguous surety that I am about to waste an indefinite amount of your time (you must be familiar with my work by now; it’s totally plausible this thing could end up running 15 pages)—do you really want to read any of more of this? It’s still not too late to back out. Your time investment thus far is minimal. You can just move right along to the next piece (it’s about Coldplay, so I’m sure that essay is going to be way funnier than this one). My feelings won’t be hurt, I promise. I can hardly fault you for not reading this, because there isn’t any reason at all you should read this. Unless you just really enjoy reading these entries in general, but that seems highly unlikely because nobody enjoys reading them—shit, I only enjoy every fifth one or so, and I write the fucking things.

Check it out: usually by this point in a composition, I would be painstakingly rereading what I’ve written so far to make sure I’m off to an okay start, right? But I haven’t done that in this case because I already know everything I’ve written so far is garbage. This piece isn’t going to improve, either. And that’s what I’m really trying to get across to you here: I am woefully ill-equipped to write anything about Leonard Cohen that is as excellent as his music—I just listened to Songs of Love and Hate a couple times, and holy shit, that’s an absolutely beautiful record too. You may assume I’m continuing this obnoxious diatribe because I’m setting you up for some grand gag (granted, it’s a fair guess, because I’ve done that a few times in entries past). But I’m not joking when I say that I’m not joking in this instance. This rambling philological self-fellation is not going to coalesce into something worthwhile; it’s just going to go on and on like this until I decide I’m done fucking with you and then this essay will just sort of… end, without preamble or satisfaction. I’m telling you, if you keep reading this, you are going to be super pissed off when you finish it. You’ll get to the conclusion, and you’ll grumble, “That’s it…? That was stupid.” And you will be right, because that will be it and it will be stupid.

Since that will be transpiring soon, we should probably clarify that at this point, when it does it’s going to be entirely your fault. If you go all the way back to the beginning of this twaddle, you’ll clearly see the very first thing I wrote was, “So, here’s the thing: I don’t know anything about Leonard Cohen.” That was the opening fucking sentence, dude. Seriously, what did you think was going to happen after that? And only a few lines later, I wrote: “I’m going to go ahead and advise you to just skip this piece altogether.” Then came that whole part about how reading this was going to be a total waste of your time, blah blah blah. You can check if you want; it’s all totally in there. I’m sure you didn’t think I’d be reprinting complete sentences you already read—and, you know what, yes, that’s kind of a low blow, I’m realizing now—but after I took the time to explain in detail that this essay would likely end up serving no purpose whatsoever, surely that must have given you pause. I mean, didn’t you think to yourself, “Wait a minute, before I read this essay, is it going to serve some purpose?” As I’ve made abundantly clear, the answer is: No. No, it is not. I was pretty up front about that. In fact, I specifically told you not to read it—“there isn’t any reason at all you should read this”; is that ringing a bell at all? So if you are still reading it, that’s kind of on you, dude. Sure, I could have stopped writing a long time ago and spared you from all of this bullshit, but let’s not get caught up in semantics.

Have you seen the movie Reservoir Dogs? I’m assuming you have, but if you haven’t, you can add that to the list of far more fulfilling things you could be doing right now instead of reading this essay. Anyway, the film is centered around the aftermath of a jewelry store robbery gone horrifically wrong. We don’t actually see the caper take place, but the characters reference it enough along the way for us to get a clear sense of things devolving into a bloodbath after one of the robbers, Mr. Blonde (played by Michael Madsen) shoots numerous people inside the establishment. Is it coming back to you now? Good. There’s a reason I’m bringing this up.

Since Madsen is absent for a lot of the movie, the audience’s understanding of the storyline relies mostly on what the characters played by Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel share with us about what has occurred. Their perspective is clear: Mr. Blonde went crazy and started killing people, and that’s why the whole heist went tits up. However, when Madsen finally appears at the warehouse where the bulk of the plot’s action takes place, he presents an entirely different assessment of the exact same incident. It is here that the movie shifts into the subtle employment of a narrative device known as the “Rashomon Effect,” so-named because this formula’s introduction to Western film-goers is commonly credited to the 1950 Akira Kurosawa film Rashomon—a picture which we can assume in hindsight Reservoir Dogs creator Quentin Tarantino was consciously invoking since his filmography has since revealed a heart-on-sleeve fandom for the work of that storied Japanese director (several Tarantino flicks make reference to this allegiance, but his Kill Bill films in particular are at their core unashamed modern reimaginings of Kurosawa’s legendary Samurai epics). I won’t recount the entire plot of Rashomon, since doing so would be superfluous here (as opposed to all of this shit I’m writing about Reservoir Dogs, which is obviously vitally important to this essay about Leonard Cohen). All you really need to know for our purposes is that the crux of the story is a singular event which is assigned completely disparate interpretations by the various people in the film who witness it. Which is precisely what happens when Michael Madsen makes his entrance.

Now, I’ve seen Reservoir Dogs many times, but not enough times to have the dialogue faithfully memorized; you’ll have to forgive me if I paraphrase a bit here. Essentially, Keitel’s character calls Mr. Blonde a “maniac” or something to that effect, a designation based on Madsen’s character opening fire upon one of the store’s clerks for what Keitel perceives as “no reason at all.” Madsen’s response to this slanted accusation is fascinating. In direct repudiation of his labelling as a “maniac” seconds before, he continues calmly drinking his soda as he amends Keitel’s analysis of the murder by providing a remarkably lucid and utilitarian explanation for the killing: “I told her not to press the alarm, but she did. If she hadn’t done the thing that I told her not to do, then I wouldn’t have shot her.”

It seems we are sharing our own Rashomon moment, my friends. You may feel like your time has been wasted, and it certainly has. But I am not the one who wasted it. That was you. I told you not to read this essay, but you did. If you hadn’t done the thing I told you not to do…

Mr. Cohen: I am truly sorry. Your music is stunning, and you deserve far better than this.

As for the rest of you: I mean, dude, I fucking told you.

March 31, 2019

2 notes · View notes

apelcini · 4 years

Note

💋🌹 🔥🍊📙😊⭐💛 🌳🍐💙🌸💗 ik it's a lot sorry sdghf letting you decide which oc you wanna do

💋 How affectionate are they with their friends? Their family? Their romantic partner(s) (if they have any)? Are they more physical or emotional when it comes to displaying their affection? Why?

Mymlanslös is aloof and withdrawn, but that’s actually a good thing for her. Back when she lived with her mother she had to shout and fight and scrap for any attention, constantly, and all she wanted to do was exist without having to fight for space. She’s a real loud problem child when she first comes to live with her pappas, but she slowly learns that this is a home with room enough for her. She starts to get quieter and smaller as she shrinks back to her intended size, and moomin is really worried about her, but snufkin assures him that she’s fine. Now her family mostly gives her affection verbally, and they wait for her to come to them for physical affection, which she’s starting to do more and more. On that note, when she gets older, she starts to get more and more irritated by interaction with her hair, compliments and brushing and braiding and all, until one day when she’s 14 she chops it all off, the whole red signal flame that she’s just got to tie into a bun and then she’s a mymble, a woman who has so many children she can’t love them all. She never grows it out again.

🌹 How easy is it for them to connect with others and make friends? On the flip side how easy is it for them to make an enemy of someone? Are they the kind of person who hangs around the food table at a party and never talks to anyone or are they the type who can talk to anyone?

Nellie and Oliver are both outcasts. She’s autistic and jew(ish?) and aroaceagender, he’s fat and trans and probably adhd. They met in kindergarten and stayed friends out of pure luck of finding someone like them (this is NOT unrealistic don’t @ me this is personal experience). Oliver wanted to connect but he just got so tired of everyone he became very abrasive to people he didn’t already like. Nellie just.. doesn’t care. She connects when she can but honestly she finds most human connection lacking. They’re the type to hang out back at a dance and goof off.

🔥 Give us a list of general likes and dislikes, such as colours, textures, music, weather and other stuff!

Nellie likes frogs and crunchy leaves and cold air on her face. she loves sweaters but she hates the wool texture, but she refuses to just wear oversized hoodies because she’s too pretentious. Her favorite color is actually purple (like plum) but she looks better in warm tones. She doesn’t really like blue and green, and she doesn’t like pastels. She doesn’t like sun because then it’s too warm for sweaters and it’s far too bright. Her favorite music is actually ragtime, but anything that’s not synth is pretty good in her book (she’s autistic and it grates her). She’s a goth in bright colors, really.

🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes?

I’m gonna share least favorite meal, because it’s funnier. Fillikin HATES fish. Despises it. Her mother hated it too and never fed it to her, and she never got used to it. it’s an essential travel staple especially when traveling with Snufkin but she just. cannot stomach it. When she first came to live with her pappas, back when they weren’t really her pappas but were these two queer men in the woods who took her in and she wanted to impress them she pretended she enjoyed fish. It wasn’t very convincing, and Snufkin mysteriously started having bad luck with fishing, often only managing a decent catch once a month. This went on for as long as was needed until she confessed that she didn’t like it. Her favorite food will always be her Moominpappa’s blueberry pancakes :-)

📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun? What things bore your OC to tears and they couldn’t care less about? Why?

Nellie loooves history. She can talk for hours about it, and she does her best to research what REALLY happened. She knows huge swathes of the Dewey decimal system because the internet in her town sucks. This skill is just a neat little quirk based off of my own experience as a history nerd.

She hates English class, she’s smart and good at puzzles but she can’t figure out riddles and metaphors and anything with words. She’s story driven but language itself doesn’t come easily, at least not in a way that makes sense to other people, and she’s so frustrated and jealous of people who can write poetry and stuff.

😊 What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy?

Peter likes to get in his car and drive out of town, just drive and he’s alone in the car and on the road and the scenery changes. He’ll drive half an hour or so out, chill for a bit, and then drive back home. He likes the distance, it clears his head. He’s a somewhat high strung person despite being pretty hands-off. No one really comes to him for emotional support, but he’s pretty good at solving problems so people who know him come to him for that.

⭐ What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why?

Nellie: watching it all disappear and she can’t stop it, it’s turning to ash in her hands and her loved ones are in danger and there’s nothing she can do. Being a bad person through inaction, letting awful people get away with awful things. Also being stalked or followed in the dark, she has a huge phobia of night monsters which is pretty reasonable when you consider where she lives. She carries around a big flashlight for this reason.

💛 In general, how in control of their emotions is your OC? Do they have a good hold on them or do their emotions control them, not the other way around? What do you think is the reason behind this and is your OC ever concerned about their lack of or good control?

Peter is remarkably good with his emotions for a teenaged boy. Unfortunately, he’s not very good with his emotions for someone who’s co-parenting a teen. Nellie and peter’s mother has her head in the cloud, and Peter’s been filling in for the gaps in her memory for as long as he could remember. He’s very good at compartmentalizing and repressing, but he’s got no clue how to actually deal with his emotions. He’s proud of himself for this and is willfully ignoring the inevitable breakdown when he leaves home.

🌳 Compare your OC to themself from 10 years ago. How has their mental state changed since then, how have they aged and grown up? Would they say they’re in a better place than they were back then or do they need help? What advice would they give their younger self? What advice would their younger self give to them now?

Nellie would tell her younger self to keep writing, even if out of spite. To not stop. To not listen to the people who tell her to stop, because she did stop and it was relief at the time but now she really, really regrets it. Now she’s past the point where she can write bad prose in confidence and practice without breaking down, and to her it’s too late to ever start. Her younger self would tell her that adults aren’t all bad, that they want to help you, that they don’t all hate you. She’d tell her that people are worth reaching out to. After all, she reached out to Oliver.

🍐 What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making!

She’s... passionate. Nellie believes in people being fundamentally human and having a great capacity for both good and evil, and she is always enraged when people turn to evil. Her mother may not have made her lunch every day, but she did impart some wisdom on her and Nellie’s gonna use it. She believes in compassion and friendship to a frankly naive degree, and is always torn when she has to fight a monster. Oliver is more cynical and bitter and jaded, since his parents aren’t forgetful but just very cold. Go to school and spar with your classmates for survival, go home and jostle with your siblings for survival, wrestle your parents for your rights, bump into a beast and fight it. It’s all the same. He thinks she’s being silly when she tries to befriend these abominations and he’s worried for her safety. She thinks he’s being cruel. This is their main source of tension.

💙 What did your OC want to be when they grew up and why? Did they have any lifelong dreams or ambitions they never got to work on or are they currently working to achieve this dream? Has their life taken a very unexpected turn and put all these plans on hold for a while or have they given up on any dreams?

Nellie always wanted to be a writer, she wanted to write historical fiction. She tried to keep this dream alive, she tried so hard, but relentless ableism from the public school whittled away at this tree until it fell with a whimper. She wants to be an engineer now. She’s good at math, it’s like a puzzle. A very boring puzzle. She‘ll get a job and pay the bills.

🌸 What does your OC’s voice sound like? Their laugh? Are they good at singing? Do they have an accent?

Oliver has a voice that’s like a mix of cavetown’s earlier work and Sidney gish. It’s a nice voice but he hates it so much. He snorts when he laughs and his voice is even higher when he sings. No one there really has an accent besides the backwoods slur (how about it sounds like howa bowdit, twenty rhymes with honey). Nellie’s voice is lower than his and she doesn’t even CARE. He hates every sound that comes out of his mouth but it’s not enough to stop him from talking, he has too many opinions for that.

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

Fillikin likes her hair. It’s wild, it’s windswept, it’s tangled, it’s a mess. It drives her moominpappa insane but he can’t do anything about it because it’s her hair and she has the right to let it grow into an abomination instead of brushing it. It is the ultimate fuck you to her mother who was oh so attached to her only daughter’s hair. It gets so bad at one point that she gets her matt stuck to a tree while traveling and Snufkinpappa has to chop it off with his knife to get her free. The cut is messy and terrible and she’s DELIGHTED. She swears she’s gonna keep it so ugly and choppy forever but she forgets to cut it, and it gets long and matted until she gets stuck to something again.

Send me oc asks

#thank uuu lance #<3 #answered #ask games #moomin ocs #carrionthird #the normal school #nellie burton #peter burton #oliver sullivan #fillikin #mymlanslös #older moomins

4 notes · View notes

bpd-dylan-hall-blog · 5 years

Text

Model, producer and co-creator

Model, producer and co-creator of YouTube channel ComeCurious, Reed is essentially the physical embodiment of sex positivity, which she defines as trying to make people feel like what they’re doing and what they’re into isn’t wrong, it’s normal and it’s absolutely fine.” She’s a huge advocate for removing stigma and taboos around sex, and we caught up with her to learn more about webcamming, a line of sex work that is seldom talked about. "I was alone in the room, and it felt like there were hundreds of people around me. And I couldn't keep up with what they were all saying, and what they were asking of me. It was quite shocking. But then I learned to be perceptive about which member was a potential paying customer and not to waste time with all of them in the free online space."Streamate sells its models through a variety of repackaged and re-skinned websites, like PornHubLive — using the site's well-known brand as an easy in with porn consumers. In reality, it's the same old site in new clothes. Streamate itself is hard to pin down. Trying to find who actually owns it is dizzying: The domain belongs to Flying Crocodile Incorporated, which has a PO box in Seattle. Job openings point to a nebulous firm called NaiadDev, also based in Seattle (and hosted by FlyingCroc). But the company's custodian of records is one Rena Erotocritou, employed by "Ariel Secretaries Limited", a ghost of a company based out of Cyprus.Some guys they date are actually really understanding of their profession. While odds are that she has exes who weren't totally cool with it, she says she's dated men who have been "incredibly supportive and understanding" once she was honest about what was happening. "I explained, 'No one is touching me. I set my boundaries. I will never meet these people. I don't know their names, where they live, or what they look like. I do only what I want, when I want, how I want to, at the touch of my own hand. I end anything if I feel weird.'" Once they had that chat, she says it wasn't an issue, which is awesome.

Studio 20 is the largest studio webcam franchise in the world. It has nine branches in Romania, including one employing "cam-boys" who service the gay market. Its other branches are in the Colombian city of Cali, Budapest and Los Angeles. It sucks, because Cam Girling was pretty fun: I got to choose my own hours, what I wore, what I did and who I wanted to talk to. The paranoia that came with the knowledge of the stigma attached was the only downside. That and the random twelvie trolls that would appear and write: ‘Your face is shiny’ in the comments. Yeah mate, it’s 40 degrees. Can’t you read the profile that says, ‘Australian’?MyFreeCams, one of the most popular of the cam portals, has a domain registered to a Leo Radvinsky, and a legal contact in the Netherlands.I had the opportunity to watch her cam, and I realized that she has a persona when she’s camming—in the same way that a lot of media people do. It’s not like she’s drastically different, but there’s a version of herself that she shares with people while shes at work in the same way that an actress would go on a talk show and be the sweeter, funnier, more engaged version of herself. She puts on a show, and gives her best, sexiest performance, reading what the client wants, asking questions, and taking directions. All the while, she’s sort of straddling the line between sexual partner, therapist, and moral supporter. It’s a ton of emotional labor—like any type of sex work. I think we often forget that being a sex worker is essentially working in the service industry.

On her end, the website looks like this. This is where she sits and waits. (Click to expand)Some of the girls broadcast risqué photos of themselves for free using sites like Instagram and Tumblr while others only use sites which require payment before viewing. On her end, the website looks like this. This is where she sits and waits. (Click to expand)So who are these tireless women (or girls), these internet sex pioneers? Where do they live? Where did they come from? How did they wind up these poorly furnished, fluorescent-lit rooms in this oversaturated, low-res corner of the web? We wondered the same thing. So I talked to them. CONTINUED BELOW...

2 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #98

“white trash, get down on your knees.”

have you ever lied to a person of authority? what did you say? i mean, i've lied to my parents. and i don't know, multiple things that don't immediately come to my head. are your eyebrows darker than your hair? yeah. what do you prefer, lasagna or spaghetti and meatballs? spaghetti w/ meatballs. i don't like lasagna because of the cheese. are all your pets micro chipped? no, but they have tags. would you ever cope in a jail? NO. i would be depressed out of my SENSES. have you ever seen an alligator in person? in zoos as well as the wild. when hurricane floyd like ruined everything, the zoo flooded and was essentially destroyed. apparently, an alligator got out, because i saw one in the ditch once shortly after the hurricane. that zoo was never rebuilt. do you live across from a corn field? no, but i once lived across from a tobacco field. welcome to nc. how long have you been tattooed? if you’re not, do you want to get tattooed? i got my first for my 18th birthday, so a few years. are you a liberal? not mostly, but i have some liberal traits, ex. i support gay marriage. were you fearless or a coward in the face of the child hunter in "chitty chitty bang bang?" i'm pretty sure he scared me. i don't remember much about the movie. did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? i literally almost immediately hit a curb lol. jeff foxworthy, bill engvall, ron white, or larry the cable guy? i enjoy them all, but jeff's gotta top the list. have you or a pet ever gotten a tapeworm? no. i would rather die than get one. i am deathly afraid of internal parasites. do you know any furries? yes. i once lived with two of 'em. do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc) yes. more than anything, i worry about what my job situation is going to be like. do you snore? steal the covers? roll around in your sleep? I STEAL THE FUCK OUT OF COVERS is the lion the best character in "the wizard of oz?" i actually like the scarecrow. would you immediately look for someone right after you broke up with your bf/gf? no. it just doesn't seem... right. if you became a doctor, would you help your patients kill themselves? no. just. no. do you tell your best friend EVERYTHING? no. do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? only sara and connie. have you ever tried to learn another language? how did it go? i took four years of german, and i got to the point where i was pretty fluent. it's atrophied all to hell though. have you ever shared a house with a significant other? an apartment, yes. do you have a crush on anyone? tell me about them. i'm dating whom i have a crush on. have you ever had something signed by someone famous? what and who? no. i think. does your father have any facial hair? he has a van dyke beard/mustache. have you ever felt like you were making a mistake when dating someone? oh boy, have i. did you continue the relationship or end it when you realized? ended it. do you think you look similar to your siblings? we have some similarities. ex., we all have the same shade of brown hair naturally. have you ever played cards against humanity? did you like it? oh my actual god, one time when i was at colleen's, we did as a family. we all had a couple drinks, so it was funnier than it should've been. closest i have EVER been to peeing myself. however, it's not as funny with subsequent plays, because you know what cards to expect. do you know anyone who’s lived through a natural disaster? yeah, me and many family members and friends. hurricanes are a common occurrence in nc. how many brothers/sisters do you have? two immediate sisters, one half-brother, three half-sisters. are you lactose intolerant? no. would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? dude i am the weirdest mix of both lol. how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. they are wonderful ways of expression. i just find some piercings aesthetically pleasing on certain people, while tattoos are how you can easily paint the picture of your life on yourself. list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. i've only been to one, and that was alice cooper. it was very fun, despite thunderstorming the whole time. have you ever been on drugs for anxiety, depression, mental illness? i have been since the 6th grade and i still am. do you like green apples? only if they're crisp. have you ever had a guinea pig for a pet? yes. squeak, harry potter, snickers, and one other whose name i've forgotten... do you shop at hot topic? yes. have you ever studied any new age or occult religions such as wicca? no, but they intrigue me, especially wicca. would you rather be a boy or girl? a girl. do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people? introverted. not trying to generalize here, but i find they tend to be more insightful. what do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend? i'm devoted and loyal as fuck, very loving, and will emotionally support a partner through thick and thin. what do you think makes you a bad girlfriend or boyfriend? one, my anxiety and insecurity. i've also never encountered this situation before, but i honestly feel that i'd get pretty jealous if he ever hung out with another girl platonically, because i'm immensely paranoid. like do not get me wrong, i wouldn't prevent him from doing it, i'd just be very worried. an issue i'm sure a lot of people would have with me is the fact i'm a pretty big prude. has anyone written a song or a piece of poetry about you? yeah. but i can virtually guarantee he used it on other girls. how many drinks does it take for you to become drunk? i wouldn't know, considering i've never been drunk. i was relatively tipsy after four bottles of very mild alcohol, though. do you admire brutal honesty? sometimes. other times it is completely unnecessary. what is your party trick? hiding out in the background somewhere, playing with your pet. <-- THIS haha <<< SAME if you had a mental disorder, what would it be? i'm diagnosed with chronic depression, general anxiety & social anxiety, ptsd (which i think i'm recovered from), and i've heard both bipolar ii and borderline personality disorder. do you think the "paranormal activity" movies were scary? no. i actually liked them. do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? i'm honestly very passive, so aggressive. the last time you drank with someone else or more than one person who was in the worst shape? chelsea always is. she takes two bottles of light alcohol and she's vomiting lol. what would you say is the worst part of high school, period? you're going through it in arguably the biggest time of your life. you are constantly changing and developing and going through so much mentally. you're still figuring out who you want to be. not to mention, you're expected to make huge decisions, all the while still having to ask to go to the bathroom. you have so much responsibility just all of the sudden while your brain is morphing a lot. are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? no. too much responsibility. not to mention they try to get into everything; you can't turn away for two seconds. what is the worst name a friend has ever called you? do you remember? probably just "bitch" or something along the line. no friend has ever called me one to my face, but i can literally guarantee some have. ACTUALLY. to my face, i was called a martyr by my ex's friend after the break-up. and i'm certain he didn't mean it as in "you'd die for your beliefs," he meant it as in "hey you pretend it's the apocalypse to get sympathy." which is entirely fucking untrue about me. that honestly hurt a lot and it still sticks with me. it honestly made me more uncomfortable to express my feelings. do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? i can't stand colleen's mom because she's a grade-a bitch, and her dad makes me uncomfortable, but he's not creepy. what is your least favorite word? i literally abhor the word "cunt." hurts to even type. what turns you on? various, pretty normal stuff. what turns you off? the usual stuff - bad hygiene, bad manners, etc <–Yep. <<<< I agree. <<<<< same. have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? i've had one since the 6th grade. have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? not a legitimate crush, no. who is your celebrity crush? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) who is your most loyal friend? i honestly feel like connie. we've literally never fought, and she's always been there.

why are you happy, if you even are?

because i've come so far in my recovery that i have no excuse to complain.

is there a secret you’ve never told your parents?

yes.

what do you think of when you hear the name mark?

lol you know exactly who i think of.

kristin?

no one.

zoe?

only the best character from "ssx tricky"

jamie?

no one.

adam?

alex shepherd's dad from "silent hill: homecoming"

carmen?

the best dancer that was ever at the dance studio i used to go to

do you like fluffy yogurts?

NO. i CANNOT do the texture.

don’t you hate that you have to watch the baby being born in health class?

i actually never did. but i physically wouldn't have been able to. i would've 100% shielded my eyes.

what’s the earliest memory you have?

walking out into the living room with my stuffed baby bunny and seeing ashley play "medievil" (i'm pretty sure that's how they spelled it). we all used to love that game. we only had the demo disc, though.

do you ever say “fail” when people mess up?

no, but i usually say "gg" lol

how important is it for a significant other to be good with kids?

not all that important considering i don't want any, but simultaneously, i certainly wouldn't tolerate them being mean to kids.

what was the last thing that hurt your feelings? was it warranted or do you think you just took it too personally?

i'd rather just not talk about it, but yeah, it was warranted.

what is your dad’s name?

kenneth, but everyone calls him ken.

does your mother have a sister? if so, what's her name?

... wait,

does

she? i don't think so, actually... maybe...

is your favorite color the same as when you were a kid?

not exactly; my first favorite color was just normal red, now it's maroon.

who last grabbed your ass?

chelsea lol

have you ever been called a slut/whore?

no, because i am literally the direct opposite. well correction, chelsea, colleen, and alex have playfully, but none of them have ever meant it. we all call each other shit names lol. all in love<3

who is your favorite foreign singer/musician?

rammstein. they have amazing music and their lyrics are usually pretty cool.

do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (ie abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)?

no. i enjoy people having different opinions. grow the fuck up and let people think differently.

do you edit any of your pictures? in what ways?

yes. i tend to do general things, like color correction and basic enhancement. sometimes i do more, particularly if it's legitimate photography of mine, in which case i tend to either bump up or desaturate the colors.

who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice?

colleen

what months were you and your siblings born in?

as far as immediate siblings, april and june, and i was born in february.

do you prefer prince or michael jackson?

jackson. i was never into prince.

do you like spring rolls?

yeah. ruby tuesday's has the best.

when was the last time you painted something?

it's been about a year.

name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting.

if they're old enough, i love to teach them how to play games from my childhood. if not, idk. i just in general don't like watching kids.

what kind of things do you post on tumblr?

rhett&link + markiplier stuff, mostly. but i also reblog some funny stuff, plus meerkat pictures.

what band would you stand in line for 24 hours to see?

none.

name the three biggest things that make up you.

passion, anxiety, dank memage. *finger guns*

what song is your ‘anthem’?

the song "that's what you get" by paramore reminds me most of myself, particularly the line "i drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating."

which movie villain do you find the most terrifying?

hmmm. a number. i find christabella laroache from the "silent hill" moving frightening (no, i'm not being biased) because she's like the queen example that religion can drive people insane. the joker is also horrifying for the simple fact he's legitimately insane.

do you think frogs/toads look disgusting?

no, they're cute.

what happens when you strongly disagree with someone?

if i voice my opinion, i get very scared that they'll get angry with me. if i don't, nothing. i just accept their opinion.

have you ever been tested for drugs?

yes, while i was at the er for suicide attempts/being suicidal.

do you own any fish? if so, are the docile or aggressive?

no.

if your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept them back into your life?

nope.

are you allergic to any insect bites?

no.

who is your favorite golden girl?

rose!!! (:

what is your favorite commercial of the moment?

it is legitimately always going to be the sexy mr. clean commercial lmao

do you have any famous relatives?

not relatives, but ancestors. we're related to queen victoria and william clark.

favorite album?

"black rain" by ozzy osbourne. i literally love every song on the album and it was my first voyage into heavy metal.

if your son said he was gay, how would you react?

i would be really really proud of him for trusting me with such a thing!!

would you date someone who played video games all weekend long?

so long he does his responsibilities, sure. let him do what he enjoys.

what are your top three video games of all time?

"silent hill 2," "amnesia: a machine for pigs," and then probably "silent hill 3."

what's your favorite care bear?

i remember i liked the one with a rainbow on its stomach.

state 8 facts about your body.

i'm 5'5''. just gonna say i'm bigger than i'm supposed to be. i have five piercings. my hair is naturally brown, but dyed red. my eyes are blue. the nail on both of my rings fingers is slightly deformed (my sisters' are, too). i have incredibly tiny toes. i wear glasses.

what was your kinkiest wet dream?

not a kinky person over here.

what song, no matter where you are or what you are doing, immediately takes you back to high school?

"all signs point to lauderdale" by a day to remember, DEFINITELY.

do you think you could join the army?

no way. i couldn't anyway because i'm mentally ill/have a suicidal history.

would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships?

nope.

do you have soft hands? do you like holding hands?

just about everyone who's ever touched my hands tells me they're soft. and yeah, so long they're not sweaty.

do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable?

to me, it really depends on where you're sleeping.

have you ever failed a class?

only in college.

have you ever cried over a breakup?

only for over a year.

are you planning on dying your hair any time soon?

hopefully.

do you feel as though you're good at understanding/communicating with animals?

people have called me dr. doolittle since i was a very young kid for a reason lol

where would you like to spend your honeymoon?

i actually don't have big plans. i'd just love to spend a little while in the mountains of nc.

what's one thing you collected as a child:

stickers. my dresser at the time was legitimately covered.

what fictional animal do you wish was real?

oh my GOD, the fey dragons from wow. they are fucking adorable and so pure.

have you ever been told you’ve punched someone in your sleep?

lol yeah. sorry, jason.

have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?

a few poems, yeah.

what is your favorite vampire book/movie/show?

i remember i loved the book "bite me"

do you actually know anyone who is homophobic?

yes.

did you ever read "the giver"? see the movie?

i read the book and loved it.

what was your first impression of your best friend?

i don't have a *best* friend, but i'll answer for the two closest to me. one, i don't really remember because we were super super young. the other, oh my god it was obvious we hated each other.

what is your profile pic a picture of?

i'mma just answer for like... all of them lol. main tumblr & youtube: link neal (but i'mma change yt to mark when i'm not being lazy); facebook&this blog: me; deviantart: an oc; km rp: mark fischbach; aaand i'm sure i'm forgetting some

have you ever been dumped really harshly?

very. he dumped me over facebook messenger like a coward, considering we'd been dating for 3 1/2 years.

has a tree ever fallen down on your house?

yes, during a hurricane. i was totally knocked out asleep so i didn't even hear it land directly above my head lol. then at our second house, a tree fell on our fuel tank, literally landing directly beside the cap, sooo we're lucky as fuck it didn't blow up.

would you ever get your hips pierced?

no. dermals sound really painful.

what if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them?

i'm in a relationship right now and am happy that way.

what will your next piercing be?

my nose.

what do you regret doing at FAR too young?

i'd rather just not talk about it.

marvel or dc?

dc, maybe.

what are you most proud of?

how far i've come

what is your favorite otp?

that actually exists, mark&amy. hypothetically, rhett&link

who is your favorite disney villain?

scar, maybe? OH. maleficent, actually.

did you ever watch "phil of the future"?

not really. i was never a big fan.

are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy?

sexual activities, sure. sex itself, i wouldn't know.

how old were you when you first became sexually active?

again, mind you, i'm a virgin, but if you're talking about doing anything sexual, probably 16. maaaybe 17, but i'm pretty sure 16.

would you rather have a pet crocodile or a pet octopus?

i legitimately wanted a caiman for a while because apparently that's legal lol

where is the last place you’d want to be on halloween night?

not sure

describe your favorite comedy movie?

my favorite's "white chicks" omg

what, in your opinion, is the most disgusting part of the human body?

i've stated before i have some asexual traits, and part of that is found in the fact i find both genitalia legitimately disgusting.

what feelings come over you when you know you’re falling in love?

i smile a lot and get very shy around the person. looots of butterflies.

do you believe in ghosts, spirits, demons?

yes to all.

would you consider yourself creative and how wide would you say your imagination can stretch?

i honestly believe i'm creative as fuck. it goes pretty damn far.

if you could go into any video game world, what would it be and why?

"world of warcraft." because. like. just take me to azeroth, pls. god i am such a nerd.

hamburger or hot dog?

cheeseburgers, usually.

what's something nerdy about you?

i am legitimately made of nerdy shit

would you cheat on your significant other if it meant sleeping with your celebrity crush?

no, actually. probably surprising considered how obsessed i am with him lol

how old do you want to live to?

maybe like 75? 80? i don't want to get to the point of being old where i'm like pissing myself and need help with literally everything. that would be legitimate torture to me.

are you comfortable with your height?

sure.

have you ever slept on a couch with someone else, with whom?

yeah, jason.

do you think the legal drinking age should be changed?

not entirely. i do, however, believe 18-year-olds should be allowed to drink only if accompanied by an adult.

have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

i have hit rock bottom before.

have you ever been bitten by a snake?

no.

do you like train’s music?

i was a big fan way before they become mainstream thanks to mom.

how’s your relationship between you and your grandparents?

dad's mom is dead, mom's dad is dead, i don't even remember the last time i talked to my dad's dad (but he's suuuuper nice and supportive), and i'm pretty damn sure mom's mom doesn't like me. she's bitched me out before and has said some very rude things to me. i'm not particularly fond of her either, but i try.

has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?

never had sex, but as for the only person i've ever been sex

ual

with, yes.

are both of your blood parents still in your life?

my parents are divorced so i don't really see my dad, but he's still a part of my life.

do you like your best friend’s boy/girlfriend?

colleen's husband is awesome and is quite a bit like myself, but sara's not in a relationship.

have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in?

yeah.

when you’re interested in someone, do you let them know?

no.

have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity?

ha ha omg yeah

what are your parents’ middle names?

marie & john

in your opinion, which is more attractive: nice biceps or washboard abs?

biceps. really obnoxious abs aren't that appealing to me.

have you ever been hypnotized?

no. i don't believe in that jazz.

do you have any lockets with pictures inside?

no.

what would you consider to be the worst television channel out there?

mtv

do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? why?

no.

do you think age matters in friendship?

no. i have a friend who's 30.

how old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?

i don't want kids. i'm fine with my nieces and nephews.

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

heather (silent hill), tyler is legitimately me (markiplier crew), chase (rhett&link crew)

what’s a popular movie you’ve never seen?

the entirety of "harry potter." and "lord of the rings."

has anyone ever gotten in your face completely bitching you out?

my grandma, yes.

does it annoy you when people use too many emoticons when they’re typing?

it can.

would you ever consider yourself over dramatic?

i can be, honestly.

would you consider yourself more indie or mainstream?

indie. essentially nothing about me is mainstream.

do you ever use cheats when you play video games?

no.

has anyone, besides yourself, considered you as a failure?

most likely.

did you go to pre-k?

yeah.

have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend?

not intentionally. then there's the fact we never actually dated.

do you regret it?

i regret ever being flirty with him, yes.

are you sorry?

it's only like my biggest regret, so.

who was your first celebrity crush?

probably jesse mccartney lol

would you smoke if it meant getting $30, or do you smoke anyways?

no.

what school teams or clubs are/were you a part of?

art honors society, honors society.

do you enjoy going through old pictures?

sometimes. other times, the nostalgia is too much.

is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist?

i honestly find dave mustaine of megadeth to be an awful singer, but somehow, i feel it adds to his charm??

do you tend to get clingy in relationships?

really, it depends on my mood and how comfortable i am with you. i legitimately demand space early in a relationship, and i romantically bond with people very slowly. once i actually feel attached to you, i can be sometimes. other times, i still need space.

have you ever dated outside of your race?

for less than a day, so you couldn't really call it "dating." he was hispanic.

when was the last time you received a massage?

never had one professionally, but jason and i would give each other a massage if we legitimately felt like we needed one.

would you rather have curvy legs or skinny legs?

not like really big, but curvy.

what do you usually put in your omelets?

cheese and ham. man... now i really want an omelet lol

do you like kiwis?

YAAAAAS

do you want any piercings?

my nose will be next, then more in my ears. i also would like a belly button ring one day, but i'd only get it once i'm much smaller. absolutely no offense intended, but i don't think they look good on bigger people like me.

have you ever flipped off your mother or father?

no, but i said "fuck you" to my mother only a few months ago. that went over well.

have you ever bowled a strike?

probably.

which is worse: stale chips or flat soda?

stale chips. flat soda doesn't bother me too much.

have you ever questioned your sexuality?

not seriously. when i had ocd, added onto my anxiety, i got into this totally random repetitive thought cycle that i secretly bisexual. i am in no way bisexual, but it was a random question and then my mind obsessed over the possibility i was lying to myself.

what did you usually pack for lunch at school?

sandwiches.

favorite nonliving musician?

probably freddie mercury. wonderfully talented man.

biggest learning experience of your life?

holly hill

what’s your opinion on religion in schools?

i believe all of the more common religions should be electives. i know that's a bit unfair, but if we're being realistic, there's too many religions to fit and get instructors for all of them.

how do you decide whether to accept or not accept a friend request?

i have to know the person and like them to accept them.

do you have an unspeakable past regret?

unspeakable, no.

do you litter?

absolutely not.

do you feed your pets gourmet pet food?

no.

were you miserable in middle school?

i wouldn't say "miserable," but it was definitely the worst school years. it's when my anxiety and depression started, so.

how many people do you know who identify as transgender?

one that i'm certain of. i have another friend that went through a transgender phase.

what is your preferred painkiller?

advil

what color was your senior prom dress?

black

do you support transgenders being able to use the opposite restroom?

i promise, you don't want my opinion.

do you support the raising of the minimum wage?

yes. you can't live off of $7.25.

are you courageous?

not really, if i'm being honest.

could you ever forgive your best friend for sleeping with your boyfriend?

nope.

do you live with your biological parents?

with my mom, yes.

do you have a snapchat?

no.

who is your hero?

mark <3

are you allergic to bees?

i wouldn't know. never been stung.

have you ever had stitches?

yes, in my chin.

did you graduate high school a virgin?

yeah.

would you ever date out of your own race?

yes.

can you describe your father in one word?

forgiving<3

what’s your favorite movie trilogy?

"shiloh," maybe

do you play any games on facebook?

no.

do you have a dog?

we have three.

do you have a step-parent?

yes, but i don't call her "mom" or anything.

do you like grasshoppers?

they actually kinda scare me, especially big ones lol

do you like laffy taffy?

yeah!

at concerts, do you buy merch?

only been to one, but i did. i'd like to think i always would.

what color is your underwear?

i don't wear underwear unless entirely necessary. increases your chances of a yeast infection and they're just uncomfortable.

what’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born?

it has an abandoned wizard of oz-themed park.

outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus?

yes. i use it occasionally for writing.

do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings?

my mom has her ears pierced.

would you ever stalk a celebrity?

no. i have respect.

do your parents use social media? if so, which ones?

mom has facebook.

do you believe that there’s good in everybody?

nope.

person you used to have feelings for shows up at your house, you say:

"get the fuck away from my house" or something like that.

were your parents married when you were born?

yes.

have you ever thought about having sex?

yeah?

are you available?

no.

do you live in a big house?

no.

have you ever flown in a plane?

twice, but the first i don't remember.

do you like mangoes?

i've actually never had a real mango, but i think i'd like them. i love mango juice.

do you think you’re always right?

absolutely not. it's a ridiculous thing to think.

what’s your favorite season?

autumn.

best disney song?

dude let's be real, "be prepared" from tlk was fire

what’s the worst veggie?

BEANS.

do you like the color yellow?

nooo. it's one of my least favorites.

do you have any old calendars in your room?

i have two meerkat calendars from years ago that are part of my collection.

is it important to you to make a good impression on a bf/gf’s parents?

of course.

are you one of the people who think obama will be assassinated?

well, he obviously wasn't. if anyone's going to get assassinated, it'll be trump.

are you more sympathetic towards animals or humans?

animals, because they have no voice and are never truly do things out of ill intent.

when did your parents stop enforcing curfew?

i never really had a curfew.

how long does it take you in the shower?

not even 15 minutes. i've never understood how people can take such long showers. do your shit and get out.

ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? what about a lip piercing? nose piercing?

lip piercings, yes.

ever made out in a pool?

maybe, but i don't think so.

are you a virgin?

depends on how you define "virgin." but by my definition, yes.

be honest. have you had any dirty thoughts today?

well now that you mention it.

have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise?

no.

do you have trouble reading small fonts?

not usually. depends on what the font is.

are there any old [as in, no longer on television, not necessarily old in terms of years] television shows that you could happily sit through and re-watch the entire series?

"that '70s show"

of all the decisions you have thus far made in your life, which was the best and which was the worst?

best: going to holly hill. worst: letting jason be my everything.

if you were presented with a bowl of fruit with apples, oranges, bananas, and grapes in it - which fruit would you pick to eat?

grapes.

do you have any gay friends?

yes, and i love them.

are you gay yourself?

no, but i don't discriminate against those who are.

how many brothers do you have?

one half-brother.

do you like mexican food?

noooo.

what’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?

colleen: miracle, maxwell, maze. i couldn't even try to name all of sara's lol

do you need to shave?

no.

do you see yourself married in the next five years?

nope.

are you responsible?

if i'm being honest, no.

ever had a pregnancy scare?

no. well, because i have anxiety, i was once scared while i was with jason because i missed my period, despite the fact we never had actual sex. safe to say, i wasn't pregnant. it was my anxiety getting to me.

do you partake in gaming?

if i can, i do. however, my consoles are broken and the psu or graphics card on my gaming laptop is fried, so i haven't in like... six, seven months. it's been torture lol

who has your heart?

two internet celebrities that don't know i exist lmao

do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again?

no. tyler tried to, but he finally got that i wanted nothing to do with him.

ever get mad at something that happened years ago?

yep.

don’t you hate when people assume you’re jealous of somebody just because you dislike them?

y e s

do your legs get really itchy after shaving them?

YES. it's why i have a scar on my shin because i scratched the fuck out of it.

who was the last person you went out to eat with?

dad, his wife, sisters, and my sister's in-laws.

honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you?

probably not. i wouldn't want to anyway, since i'm like 95% sure i want to save 'til marriage.

have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo?

regrettably.

ever had a guy best friend?

yes.

how is your last ex doing?

i don't know and i don't care.

ever given your ALL to someone?

yes, and it was the wrong fucking choice.

how do you know the majority of the people you know?

school, the internet

have you ever had pink eye?

no, but my sister has.

do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on myspace/facebook?

nope.

how many band shirts do you own? which?

including those that don't fit anymore but i have saved, two for ozzy osbourne, two for metallica, otep, disturbed, asking alexandria, hollywood undead, iwrestledabearonce (which i no longer like), marilyn manson, two for alice cooper, and i am 100% positive i've had more. i've had a loooot.

is nutella amazing?

yaaaas queen

have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now?

yes. right side of my nose, left anti-tragus, right tragus, left cartilage. they all closed while i was in the hospital.

would you consider yourself “tough”?

emotionally.

do you have any twins/multiples in your family? are they identical or fraternal?

i don't think so?

who is the youngest person in your family that you know of?

my nephew, i think.

is your mom a good mom?

she tries her best and does so much for me.

who was your first friend?

brianna. we drifted apart in middle school.

would you consider yourself a shy person?

waaaay too shy.

are you on good terms with your last ex?

no.

would you rather be a toaster, or a calculator?

... lol wut

do you like beards, and if so, what is the ideal beard length?

no opinion.

did/do you play with barbies?

i did only when nicole wanted to.

what holidays do you decorate for?

halloween, christmas.

have you ever been high?

no. it just doesn't interest me. i don't like my mind being foggy. it's partially why i've never even been drunk.

do you believe in homosexuality?

yes?? it obviously exists, and there's nothing wrong with it??

do you believe in jesus?

yes. it's a historical fact that he existed, it's just a matter of if you believe in the stories of what he did or not.

who was the last person you kissed?

my boyfriend.

do you play minecraft?

i never have and i'm not interested in it.

do you like mozzarella sticks?

noooo. the only cheese i like is american.

do you listen to nickelback?

i have no shame in admitting that i like some of their songs.

do you watch pewdiepie?

i've been a fan since 2013, or maybe 2012. he's a funny guy. he's got a lot of drama around him, but i sincerely think he's entertaining. i've enjoyed watching him develop as a person and comedian.

do you like the water?

no. i literally never drink it unless i'm dehydrated.

do you like eating zebra cakes?

sure. been a long, long time since i've had one, though.

are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others?

write, draw.

have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself?

yep.

when was the last time you took a taxi somewhere?

never.

what was the most embarrassing thing you’ve had to buy?

nothing really embarrassing.

have you ever mistaken a person’s gender?

yeah.

did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare?

yes. i have the immune system of a god.

without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes?

yes. my old english teacher literally stopped class once just to point out to the whole class that i had super long eyelashes lol. i loved her.

is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger?

yeah. tends to be rammstein or metallica.

do any of your close friends have children?

no.

were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?

no.

when was the last time you were at the hospital, and why?

in february for a suicide attempt.

"the breakfast club," yay or nay?

i couldn't get into it.

have you ever had a piercing get infected?

yes. second piercing in my right ear lobe.

do you get embarrassed easily?

just about everything embarrasses me, so.

is anybody in your family a carpenter?

no, but my dad was.

would you date someone 8 years older than you?

yeah, but that's like my limit. i'd have to

really

like someone who was nine years older, but i'm cool with eight.

would you rather date someone older than you or younger?

older. at my current age, i wouldn't date someone younger than me.

have you ever dated someone you met online?

no.

what’s something you have a very strong opinion about?

abortion, more than anything. i'm getting more heavily adamant about gay rights.

what gets you emotional?

recalling past struggles and people, seeing others suffer, people doing good in the world, etc.

do you often try to find common ground when in a political debate?

ugh. i just don't like political debates.

do you come across as cold and aloof at times?

i'm sure.

do you think the last person you kissed is a player?

no.

if an ex said they hated you, you say?

good for you.

could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life?

no.

are you happy with yourself?

in certain aspects.

would you change yourself for the person you love?

to some degree. it depends.

has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once?

no one's ever punched me, thankfully.

do you think you were ever in love?

i can say without the slightest doubt in my mind that i was.

have you ever dated your friend’s ex?

no.

have you done bad things with your parents nearby?

define "bad things."

have you started a horrible rumor about somebody?

no, i'm not that low.

why do you believe/not believe in god?

because it just seems most logical to me. it just seems... highly, highly unlikely that the fucking stars aligned so perfectly as to make this all possible. but i perfectly respect people that think the opposite, so long they don't stomp on religion.

do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?

no.

what is your favorite baked good?

muffins, maybe.

do you have an addiction to anything?

i have an addictive personality, so, a number of things. nothing unhealthy, though.

during thunderstorms, how does your pet react?

teddy and bentley don't care, cali gets so terrified that she quakes and hides behind the couch.

are you addicted to any energy drinks?

no. energy drinks taste like poison to me.

do you like croutons in your salad?

noooo

when did you meet the last male you texted?

when i was born. he's my dad.

have you ever talked to a boyfriend about a previous ex-boyfriend?

yes. i was having a ptsd breakdown and needed to know if i could confide in him about some things.

can two living souls become one?

no.

has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?

no, but someone probably should lol. i recently realized that i say "fuck" waaay too much. jason's family defiled me. they swear like sailors and like everyone i know noticed my profanity got worse after dating jason for a while because i was with his family a lot and it rubbed off.

why aren’t you in love with your ex anymore?

because you don't love the person that almost caused you to kill yourself.

if your best friend “came out”, how would you feel?

colleen: i would go into legitimate shock since she's for traditional marriage and whatnot. sara: she's demisexual, so.

ever kissed someone you weren’t in a relationship with?

no.

have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper?

ew, no.

what was the last song you listened to?

"cake and sodomy" by marilyn manson

have you ever been on a ferris wheel that had swinging cages/gondolas? were you in the swinging cage/gondola or too chicken to go on it?

yeah. it was at a little festival so it was sketchy as fuck too lol. i went with jason, who's afraid of heights, so that was interesting.

do you want a small or big wedding?

small.

are your parents going to buy you a car?

probably not. i don't drive, anyway.

who’s your favorite rapper? and your favorite song by this rapper?

the only rapper i genuinely like is eminem, and i really like "space bound"

how about your favorite band? and your favorite song by this band?

oh brother... ozzy osbourne: "trap door," metallica: "whiskey in the jar," otep: uhhh "special pets" or "apex predator," a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what are you made of?," marilyn manson: "heart-shaped glasses," rammstein: "nebel" or "donaukinder," cradle of filth: probably their cover of "mr. crowley," korn: "here to stay"

do you hate your last name? do you want to get married so you can change it?

i don't like my last name, but i don't want to get married just so it'll change.

who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? why did you break up?

if you're talking about the first guy who ever had the title of "boyfriend," aaron. we were in the 7th grade and i just didn't like him like that.

do you drink coffee?

no, it's bitter as fuck and just overall gross.

what outfit makes you feel the most attractive?

you assume any outfit makes me attractive.

what do you think of people who always wear make-up?

whatever.

has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you?

i think so.

are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not?

no, i'm straight.

have you ever wanted to vlog?

no. too awkward for that shit.

who was the last person you held hands with?

ugh.

have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly?

what the fuck, no.

have you ever seen a live bat?

yeah. they're so cute.

would you ever let your child drop out of high school?

depends on the reason.

do you pronounce “aunt” like “want” or “ant”?

"ant"

would you ever let a girl/boy put you through hell and back?

never again.

have you watched porn alone before?

i don't watch porn to begin with.

what do you think about weed?

i think it smells fucking awful more than anything.

recommend a book:

i recommend "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo more than any book on the face of the planet. the writing style is very unique and a bit hard to understand sometimes, but the meaning behind it. it increased my pacifism by a mile.

do you like to cook? or do you always prefer take out?

i can't cook. i literally burned a hot dog to where it split in half in the microwave.

are pets allowed to be on the furniture in your house?

yes. they live here.

declawing cats: for or against?

against

what theory (serious or not) has always intrigued you?

if the moon landing was fake or not. i believe it was real, but there is some seriously compelling evidence that it was a studio trick. i'd highly recommend reading about it.

do you consider yourself a perfectionist?

about some things.

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

2 notes · View notes

pinelife3 · 7 years

Text

Ask about me. I wish you would.

Disclaimer: I don’t know shit about shit - but I’m trying.

Feel like my blogging this year (I know we’re not very far in) has been really sub-optimal. Typically I feel like my blogs are best when I get fired up about/really interested in something - they come easier and (hopefully) are funnier and more interesting. I have been interested in lots of stuff, but I feel a lot of what I’ve read has already been well positioned and there hasn’t really been much room for me to butt my nose in and comment. Anyway, I wanna try to steel man Martin Shkreli. Feeling pretty amped about this actually.

I remember late 2015 sitting in a fish and chip shop (Colin’s Catch <3 - I never got fish and chips there, always burgers) reading some shitty article on Jezebel about Shkreli and even though it was probably not a good example of reporting I found it convincing. In 2015 he (or actually, his company, Turing Pharmaceuticals) increased the price of Daraprim 5500% from $13.50 (US, I presume because they only own the US version of the drug) to $750 per pill. Once upon a time it retailed for just $1 a pill. The way people talk about him he might as well be the devil.

From The Daily Beast:

From Consequence of Sound:

From Dazed:

Hahah - from Wonkette (whatever that is):

The New Yorker:

The New Yorker article opens like this:

On Thursday morning, the most reviled person in America arrived on Capitol Hill for a short but memorable engagement with the most reviled institution in America. The institution was the U.S. Congress, which Americans say they hate—though not quite enough, apparently, to stop reëlecting its members. And the person was Martin Shkreli, a pharmaceutical executive who loves to play the villain, and who can’t decide whether to be amused or outraged when he is treated accordingly. Donald Trump can rightly be called polarizing, but Shkreli cannot: he seems to have precious few fans to balance out his innumerable detractors.

Okay, so I have cherry picked some of the more venomous headlines but I think it’s fair to say he’s unpopular. The mainstream media actively root against him. In December last year everyone was smugly pleased when some high school students made the active ingredient in Daraprim: like because some teenagers can bootleg one component of the drug in a high school chem lab that’s somehow valuable? They didn’t recreate the whole drug, just a key component. And in any case - the whole basis of the outrage was that this was a cheap drug that underwent an unjustified price hike. Has Shkreli ever tried to pretend there was some change of circumstances where they key component of the drug suddenly became expensive to produce? Their position has always been: we jacked up the price because we could.

Quoth Shkreli:

To me the drug was woefully underpriced. It is not a question of ‘Is this fair?’ or ‘What did you pay for it?’ or ‘When was it invented?’ It should be more expensive in many ways.

And again:

If there was a company that was selling an Aston Martin at the price of a bicycle, and we buy that company and ask to charge Toyota prices, I don’t think that should be a crime.

It cost those high school goons $20 (assuming this is just in ingredients - not equipment, facilities, time, fancy lab coats, etc.) to create 3.7 grams of the active ingredient in Daraprim (which apparently works out to about $2 per pill… again, based purely on their ingredients).

^^ Cute

Shkreli has always said that profits made from the price jacking allow/ed his then-company Turing Pharmaceuticals (he resigned as CEO in 2015 after being arrested for securities fraud - is there anything this guy can’t do?) to work on research and development for cool new drugs to save lives (or make more money depending on your outlook).

Shkreli has consistently defended the move to raise the price of the drug - in late 2015 there were some vague intimations that he would lower the price, but they later backtracked on this and it was later reported that Turing would instead follow some standard procedures to make it easier for patients to access the drug. According to the NY Times:

Daraprim, which has been on the market since 1953, is the preferred treatment for toxoplasmosis, a parasitic infection that can cause severe brain damage in babies, people with AIDS and others with compromised immune systems.

According to PolitiFact:

There are only about 2,000 U.S. patients who use the drug every year.

And if you don’t have insurance you can get it for free here.

Turing have held this position from way back in 2015:

“A drug’s list price is not the primary factor in determining patient affordability and access,” Nancy Retzlaff, Turing’s chief commercial officer, said in a statement. “A reduction in Daraprim’s list price would not translate into a benefit to patients.”

The company pledged that no patient needing Daraprim would ever be denied access.

How is this dude still so hated? According to the NYT, the programs Turing is undertaking are standard for high priced drugs (because it’s not like Daraprim is unique in being expensive - 12 months’ worth of cancer treatments can cost upwards of $100,000 - Daraprim is a bargain at the low, low price of just $75,000 for 100 doses):

Such patient assistance programs are standard for companies selling extremely high-priced drugs. They enable the patients to get the drug while pushing most of the costs onto insurance companies and taxpayers.

I feel like only villains say stuff like “it’s just business” - but, I mean, it really is? If you can make money, why shouldn’t you? One of the all time top posts on /r/depthhub is about how Bill Gates is a bad dude because he’s a ruthless businessman who tried hard to beat his competitors. That’s business, man. Why would you work with or help you competitors? All that’s gonna do is take money out of your pocket:

He viewed any successful non-Microsoft software as a threat, even if that software was for Windows. And if that software was cross-platform he viewed it as an existential threat, since it lessened people’s dependence on Microsoft.

They literally are threats? They’re competing products… how thick do you need to be not to see that? Even if something is made for Windows, if it wasn’t made by Microsoft then Microsoft sees none of the profits. Why would they be interested in that arrangement? And some of the complaints against Microsoft are violently stupid:

Apple had contracted out to a 3rd party company to do the Windows port of QuickTime, so what did MS do? They went to the same company and gave them a ton of money to develop Video For Windows, but an insanely short schedule, knowing full well that the company would essentially have to re-use a lot of the QuickTime For Windows source code to get the project done on time.

When Apple found out (their contract with the other company stated that Apple owned all the QuickTime For Windows source code), they went ballistic and sued Microsoft. Microsoft had been caught red-handed and knew that Apple had them by the balls. So MS settled. Remember when Microsoft “bailed out” Apple in the 90s by buying $150 million in Apple stock? Despite what the tech press reported, that’s not what actually happened. The $150 million in non-voting Apple stock that Microsoft bought was part of their settlement (Apple was no longer on the verge of bankruptcy by that point, and didn’t need to be bailed out). The settlement also had Microsoft agreeing to port MS Office and Internet Explorer to Macintosh.

Really sounds like the third party’s fault to me? The third party company shouldn’t have agreed to an unrealistic timeline and they certainly shouldn’t have resold Apple’s IP. It sounds like all Microsoft did was go to a third party company who had proven success in developing a video player for PC (which is sensible) and asked them to make something for them as well. Anyway: so Bill Gates is cutthroat? So Bill Gates wins? So his throne is built on the bone dust of his foes? It’s just business - why should you make concessions for businesses which can’t cut it or are trying to cut into your share? It’s not charity. And Gates knows charity - he’s donated over $28 billion dollars to improve healthcare and fight poverty, he aims to wipe out Malaria in the next generation.

It’s not even a case of ends justifying the means (like, a mafia boss who funnels the spoils of his crimes into an orphanage or something) - Gates behaved in a way which was industry standard for any big corporation and does so much good - if he let other companies survive and make money (essentially taking away from his own bottom line) is there any guarantee that those $28 billion would have made their way into charity?

Tangentally related to this - Shkreli’s capitalist declaration:

Yeah, I’m a capitalist, I’d love to make an even bigger fortune than I’ve got now. But I’m not gonna do it at the expense of a human life. We sell our drugs for a dollar to the government, but we sell our drugs for $750 a pill to Walmart, to Exxon Mobil, to all these big companies, they pay full price because fuck them, why shouldn’t they? If I take their money to do research for dying kids, I think I’m a hero, let alone evil.

Anyway (I got distracted). In an AMA Shkreli did in late 2015, the top comment is:

Hey! Doctor here and I work in India.

Now medically speaking I haven’t yet heard of why your drug’s worth $749 more than my pyrimethamine. Does it improve on the nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea? Does it have a folate sparing effect? Can it be used in pregnant women and in epileptics?

No one’s been able to tell me what your upgrade is or how it works or even if it is a cost saving upgrade.

Now here is my second problem. If your upgrade reduces the side effects of the drug, why is it much more expensive than prescribing say…. Ondansetron and a Folate infusion to counteract the more common effects. I mean even if I used multiple drugs to achieve this and say bundled pyrimethamine with ondansetron and loperamide and an antacid say pantoprazole and suggested folate level monitoring it would be cheaper.

So what makes Daraprim better than pyrimethamine and what changes and upgrades have you made to the drug to warrant the increase in price?

I find this really frustrating because at no point has Shkreli ever said that he introduced a cool new feature to justify the price increase - this dude (the Indian doctor) is just being smug and facetious but you can’t out-smug Shkreli so what’s even the point? He’s just pandering to a bunch of outraged idiots on Reddit. This dude (the Indian doctor) knows the answer to the question (Q: why? A: because he could) and is just being deliberately obtuse so he can pretend to be some kind of altruistic hero: “Oh you mean you increased the price of the drug just to make money? Unfathomable.”

Even before Shkreli jacked the prices up, it was still much more expensive than similar products elsewhere. Before he increased the price to $750 a pill, it was sold for $13.50 a pill - in India they sell a generic version for $0.05 a pill (and I guess the Indian doctor above uses a $1 pill). So it was already (I am bad at maths but I think) 27000% more expensive than similar products available in India (does that sound right?).

When similar shit goes down the headline is “A drug company hiked the price of a lifesaving opioid overdose antidote by 500 percent” - when Martin Shkreli does anything they invoke his name in the headline (as though he as an individual were carrying out these actions from his home office) and leave Turing (or whichever other company he’s working with/for) buried in the main body somewhere. In the article linked above, the writer doesn’t actually mention the company’s name (Hospira) until the third paragraph and she doesn’t make any calls to lynch the CEO. She opens with this:

At a time when America needs these drugs most, drug companies are hiking the prices.

It’s called supply and demand, bitch. Jesus. (This person is actually seeking drama and pointless backlash, the sub-heading is: “Where’s the outrage?”) She’s an idiot:

Drug overdoses kill more people than car crashes and gun violence in America, and these overdose antidotes have never been more important. But they’re also quickly becoming more unreachable for the people whose deaths they could avert.

Yeah because junkies would totally be carrying around anti-overdose medicine in their purses were it not for the $142.49 price tag. Fuck I’m also angry because no one writing about this stuff seems to understand what a free market is. She says:

America has long taken a free market approach to pharmaceuticals. Drug companies haggle separately over drug prices with a variety of private insurers across the country. Meanwhile, Medicare, the government health program for those over 65, which is also the nation’s largest buyer of drugs, is actually barred from negotiating drug prices.

In no way does this describe a free market. Sure, it’s more lax than England’s system but it’s still heavily regulated and therefore != free market. This is from a post about Shkreli but still applies:

They’re saying that the price hike is such a good example of how the “free market” is pure evil and “just doesn’t work”… well as per usual, those people just don’t see the big picture and have deeply misunderstood the parts they do see.

First of all, the pharmaceutical industry is not a free market by any stretch of the imagination. A free market would be almost a perfectly contestable market. A perfectly contestable market (aka a “free market”) has three main traits… no barriers to entry, no sunk costs, and universal access to the same technology for new firms as well as existing firms. The pharmaceutical industry is actually a perfect example of the EXACT OPPOSITE of a contestable market.

And all of those barriers to entry, sunk costs, and disparities in the level of technology among firms exist because of the actions of government regulators.

The idiot writer of the Vox article on opiate overdose antidotes concludes:

Unlike EpiPen, though, the naloxone price increases haven’t garnered much attention or outrage, maybe because of the stigma that comes with opioid addiction.

In the face of an out-of-control opioid epidemic, the outrage better come soon.

I am so not buying her point about this not being a scandal because no one cares about opioid addiction. People care. Throughout most of the press on Daraprim/Shkreli people have highlighted the fact that it is used by AIDS sufferers to try to signpost how much of a dick Shkreli is. Is AIDS not at all stigmatised? It was until recently. A couple of decades ago it was headline news when Princess Diana shook the hand of an AIDS patient without gloves.

Really, the hysterical, shitty and reactive reporting on this has probably caused much more drama and stress for patients taking Daraprim than the price hike itself.

Every other pharma boss in the world has made themselves inaccessible and opaque to the public - Shkreli is surely kind of unique in participating in unfiltered interactions with the public. People are more likely to recognise his name than name of his company/ies or the drug itself. That’s kind of an achievement, right? His email (which he shares openly) is [email protected]. He live streams all the time:

youtube

In the video above he’s talking about a website he made called Pharma Skeletons dot com (which is what got me interested in him in the first place) where he basically tears apart the lobbying group PhRMA after they tried to scapegoat Shkreli/distance themselves from him as though he were an aberration in the pharma industry. According to Business Insider:

On Monday, the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, (PhRMA) kicked off a multi-year ad campaign to try and shift the criticism the industry’s been getting on drug pricing onto a more positive topic. In a press briefing, PhRMA president Steve Ubl described the campaign as “Less hoodie, more lab coats,” an apparent jab at Martin Shkreli, who wore a hoodie while he was arrested for securities fraud in December 2015 and on stage at a conference earlier that same month.

Shkreli was obviously savvy to PhRMA’s dig and didn’t care for it so he put together Pharma Skeletons to outline how member companies of PhRMA have acted similarly to Turing/Shkreli:

Don’t you dare point your finger at me for the pharmaceutical industry’s troubles. It turns out we’ve all made some unpopular moves.

I’m so into it. This website is really simple - hardly any CSS, no images or videos. Just a list detailing these pharma companies’ indiscretions with links to sources. The tone is really fun as well:

Mallinckrodt / Questcor

Really? Acthar’s 65,000% price increase represents your values but Turing doesn’t?

Gosh, I’m so upset my portfolio companies aren’t a part of your trade group.

I sued & whistleblew this company after they bought the only competitor to their only drug in order to stop my competition from their high price.

Tax avoider? Check. Ireland.

Marathon

Bro. These guys invented price increases. I literally learned it from them.

Ovation. I can sell & start a new company, too.

I feel pretty convinced that what he did was industry standard. But I really don’t want my argument to just be ‘Shkreli’s no worse than the other guys in big pharma so it’s not fair to criticise him’ because I want to believe that he’s better/special/different somehow. He seems weird and funny and interesting. Everyone wants to hit him in the face. He’s the smartest guy in most rooms he’s in.

Dumb justifications I’m thinking of:

Maybe he’s a bad dude, but at least you’ve heard of him. For a layperson (hi) he must be the most famous person in pharmaceuticals. Not saying notoriety is cool or in any way mitigates shitty behaviour, but I feel like he’s at least copping to it and is cognizant of what he’s doing and how he’s perceived - probably the CEO of every pharma company is as villainous as Shkreli, but they act like they’re not which gives Shkreli some kind of high ground

He doesn’t seem interested in or at all concerned with PR/PC bullshit

Did Shkreli perhaps inadvertently draw mainstream attention to serious issues within the US pharmaceutical/FDA/insurance/whatever else system? Everyone knows about these problems now. I certainly wouldn’t have cared were the articles not accompanied by pictures of a dude with such a punchable face. Possible downside: Shkreli as an individual is reviled, companies still seem to get away with it

All the pharmaceutical big dogs hate him - not because he jacked up the price of an old, cheap drug (they all do that) but because he drew attention to them and made their shitty behaviour more visible

(Do you think Shkreli gets laid more or less since all this went down?)

The faux hysteria over his ‘harassment’ of a Teen Vogue writer (who wrote this anti-Trump article in December which became really popular because who doesn’t go to Teen Vogue for quality journalism?) really pissed me off. He was mocking her by pretending to be obsessed with her because hot girls are lame and assume everyone is in love with them when really everyone hates them. I thought it was pretty funny

^^ Shkreli decorated his Twitter with pics of the journalist and Photoshopped himself into a picture of her and her husband

Sidebar about that Teen Vogue Trump article (”Trump is Gaslighting America”) in which she argues that umm Trump is gaslighting Americans… which I find annoying because she’s basically taking away half the country’s agency - like, they know not what they do:

Trump took advantage of the things that divide this country, pitting us against one another, while lying his way to the Oval Office. Yes, everything is painfully clear in hindsight, but let’s make sure Trump’s win was the Lasik eye surgery we all so desperately needed.

The article is basically a plea for the truth. She suggests:

Inform yourself what outlets are trustworthy and which aren’t.

Hmmm. Teen Vogue. I want to cyber bully her too. I mean. Hmmm.

youtube

I feel like in my eagerness to be contrary I get myself into these positions where I’m trying to defend the indefensible. I think Shkreli’s more nuanced, interesting and well meaning than the press give him credit for. Professionally, he’s obviously made some reckless choices and remains self-righteous and smug (hard to tell if he’s always smirking or if that’s just his face). The things he’s done which seem greedy and unreasonable are normal in his industry so if he’s no worse than his peers he’s just a normal dude (I don’t really feel convinced by that). Still, I think he seems cool. He’s entertaining anyway.

#turing pharmaceuticals #martin shkreli #daraprim #bill gates #microsoft #teen vouge #trump

0 notes

sushat-blog · 5 years

Text

I had the opportunity

I had the opportunity to watch her cam, and I realized that she has a persona when she’s camming—in the same way that a lot of media people do. It’s not like she’s drastically different, but there’s a version of herself that she shares with people while shes at work in the same way that an actress would go on a talk show and be the sweeter, funnier, more engaged version of herself. She puts on a show, and gives her best, sexiest performance, reading what the client wants, asking questions, and taking directions. All the while, she’s sort of straddling the line between sexual partner, therapist, and moral supporter. It’s a ton of emotional labor—like any type of sex work. I think we often forget that being a sex worker is essentially working in the service industry.I had the opportunity to watch her cam, and I realized that she has a persona when she’s camming—in the same way that a lot of media people do. It’s not like she’s drastically different, but there’s a version of herself that she shares with people while shes at work in the same way that an actress would go on a talk show and be the sweeter, funnier, more engaged version of herself. She puts on a show, and gives her best, sexiest performance, reading what the client wants, asking questions, and taking directions. All the while, she’s sort of straddling the line between sexual partner, therapist, and moral supporter. It’s a ton of emotional labor—like any type of sex work. I think we often forget that being a sex worker is essentially working in the service industry.I have considered opening up my profile again a few times since, and very well might once I get over the ‘what will people think?’ paranoia, and memorise the retort I have planned regarding the government youth unemployment in Australia: With youth unemployment currently sitting around 13%, creating your own job using the resources you already have (in this case, internet connection, webcam, studio lighting and cute knickers) becomes a much more viable option than waiting for callbacks from the 20 resumes you sent out last week. That said, the idea of my future prospects of employability could be damaged if this was discovered, and I do wonder about the percentage of money the site makes versus the percentages the models make.So as I sat there, in front of my laptop, I thought to myself, Why didnt I just respond the way that I normally do when somebody proclaims something which I dont agree with? Why didnt I just say, firmly but reasonably, you are wrong and these are the reasons why… Perhaps it was because it was so personal, that I felt like for once, I wasnt defending femininity as a whole, but just myself. Which on the surface would seem like a less daunting task, but for me it left me stumped. I knew that I was a feminist and it wasnt often that I had to justify myself to anybody. I was used to breaking down all the reasons that men used to justify their behavior.

Domino wakes up at 8 am every morning and performs booked shows for clients paying between $US90 and $US120 an hour. That's about sixteen times her state minimum wage, and she doesn't have to leave her bedroom. If a client wants to book through MyFreeCams rather than sending money directly, Domino charges double. There's not a cent lost to a middle man. It seems like a pretty swell setup: "I love my job," Domino gushes. "I can work when I want to, as much as I want to, [and] nobody can tell me how to do my job. She's right. At her strip club, she was required to come in four to five days a week, spinning on a pole. Now, she can work all day. Or not at all. The last time we spoke, she was working on an ebook project, spending her time as she pleased.But what about cam girls that don’t use studios? I decided to interview a cam girl name Ona Artist who is essentially a camming celebrity—she has 1.3 million followers on Instagram—to find out what that life is like. Turns out, it’s even more work.It's very possible, but if they do no one has ever said it to my face. I used to be in porn production for big companies, and that was probably the only time I experienced negativity. I told a guy about what I do and he was like I don't agree with porn. These women are being forced to do something they don't want to do. It's degrading. He did bring up some good points but I argued that it was the same as any office job. Your boss is going to fuck you over or you don't get paid, right? It's the same. At least with webcamming, I work for myself and I can choose how much I earned, and if nobody wanted to pay me that [amount], they wouldn't come to me.She started as a nervous 18-year-old girl and cashes in on her signature 'innocent' look – pulling her hair into pigtails before she heads online to meet her guests.

The massive LiveJasmin would have you believe it's owned by "Gestao e Investimentos, Lda", a company based in an autonomous region of Portugal — and has a host of fraud complaints lodged against one of its subsidiaries. But a recent tax bust against LiveJasmin's Hungarian CEO Gattyán György — one of the richest men in Hungary — and his corporation, Dolcer Holdings, shows just how muddled the corporate picture is. No doubt deliberately."I was alone in the room, and it felt like there were hundreds of people around me. And I couldn't keep up with what they were all saying, and what they were asking of me. It was quite shocking. But then I learned to be perceptive about which member was a potential paying customer and not to waste time with all of them in the free online space.Camming has become a huge part of the sex industry over the past decade, and it’s continuing to grow. There’s a lot of cam girls who now monetize and advertise through social media, so they're kind of the new "it girls" in a way—they’re rock stars, they’re influencers. Some of them have millions of followers on Instagram.The young woman proudly boasts a menu when she is online – in the form of a whiteboard which shows her viewers what she will do and how much it will cost them. CONTINUED BELOW...

0 notes

mrmichaelchadler · 6 years

Text

Home Entertainment Consumer Guide: May 24, 2018

8 NEW TO NETFLIX

"The 40-Year-Old Virgin" "Bridge to Terabithia" "The Kingdom" "Mamma Mia!" "Only God Forgives" "The Phantom of the Opera" "Small Town Crime" "Wanted"

11 NEW TO BLU-RAY/DVD

"The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai" "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"

The steelbook phenomenon has been an interesting one to watch, as films that diehard fans already own are re-released in collectible, exclusive, limited edition packaging. Personally, I'm a big fan of keeping physical media in existence and so anything that helps is good by me, especially when they're a pair of movies this fun. I'm a huge fan of Bill and Ted, and the news of a potential third movie should hopefully rekindle interest in the first two, especially the timeless original. The steelbook packaging (right) is gorgeous, and all of the previous special features have been imported. You should watch "Excellent Adventure" again. It's funnier than you remember. And let's go collect steelbooks if it keeps physical media alive!

Buy them here

Special Features - Buckaroo "Into The 8th Dimension" – A Two-Hour Retrospective Documentary Including Interviews With The Cast And Crew Audio Commentary With Michael And Denise Okuda Audio Commentary With Director W.D. Richter And Writer Earl Mac Rauch "Buckaroo Banzai Declassified" Featurette Alternate Opening Sequence (With Jamie Lee Curtis) Deleted Scenes Jet Car Trailer Theatrical Trailer

Special Features - Bill & Ted's Audio Commentary With Star Alex Winter And Producer Scott Kroopf Audio Commentary With Writers Chris Matheson And Ed Solomon Time Flies When You Are Having Fun! – A Look Back At A Most “Excellent Adventure,”Featuring Interviews With Actors Alex Winter And Keanu Reeves, Producer Scott Kroopf, Composer David Newman, Supporting Cast Members, And More Theatrical Trailer

"Beyond the Hills" (Criterion) "Graduation" (Criterion)

Criterion's timing of new releases is always interesting. They don't pay attention to the theatrical market as much as some other studios, who commonly release special editions timed to new sequels or major projects from the same stars. But it does feel like May's releases have been slightly timed to something with which Criterion collectors are probably familiar, the Cannes Film Festival. Take for example, this pair of Cristian Mungiu films that premiered at the most famous film event in the world. Mungiu has been a darling of Cannes for the new century, winning the Palme in 2007 for "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days," Best Screenplay for "Beyond the Hills" in 2012, and Best Director for "Graduation" in 2016. The latter two are now available in sturdy Criterion editions, including special features and fantastic critical essays. Mungiu is one of the more essential filmmakers of his era, and it's nice to see Criterion keeping up with his work as it's released, creating essential editions for any Blu-ray library.

Buy them here

Special Features - Beyond 2K digital transfer, approved by director Cristian Mungiu, with 5.1 surround DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray New interview with Mungiu The Making of “Beyond the Hills,” a documentary from 2013, produced by Mungiu Press conference from the 2012 Cannes Film Festival, featuring Mungiu and actors Cosmina Stratan, Cristina Flutur, Valeriu Andriuta, and Dana Tapalaga? Deleted scenes Trailer New English subtitle translation PLUS: An essay by film scholar Doru Pop

Special Features - Graduation 2K digital master, approved by director Cristian Mungiu, with 5.1 surround DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray New interview with Mungiu Press conference from the 2016 Cannes Film Festival, featuring Mungiu and actors Adrian Titieni, Maria Dragu?, Malina Manovici, and Rare? Andrici Deleted scenes Trailer New English subtitle translation PLUS: An essay by film critic Bilge Ebiri

"Black Panther"

Will "Black Panther" be the first Marvel movie nominated for Best Picture? It's very possible, but whether it is or isn't, it has already become one of the most important films of 2018. Not only did critics fall head over heels for what is aruably the best MCU movie, but it also made a fortune, captivating audiences around the world to the tune of over $1.3 billion worldwide, top ten all time. To call "Black Panther" a smash hit seems inadequate. It's a movement. It's a phenomenon. And it's a great film. And Disney/Marvel has granted one of their biggest film an expectedly lavish Blu-ray treatment, complete with deleted scenes and hours of details on the making of the film. It's one of the biggest films of 2018, and it's been given a matching Blu-ray treatment.

Buy it here

Special Features Director's Intro From Page to Screen: A Roundtable Discussion – Delve into the film's making Crowning of a New King – Explore the world of "Black Panther" in all its color and complexity The Warriors Within – Get to know Wakanda's women and the actors who portray them The Hidden Kingdom Revealed – Wakanda's diverse people Wakanda Revealed: Exploring the Technology Deleted Scenes U.N. Meet and Greet Okoye And W'Kabi Discuss the Future of Wakanda T'Challa Remembers His Father Voices from the Past Gag Reel Exclusive Sneak Peek at "Ant-Man and The Wasp" Marvel Studios the First Ten Years: Connecting the Universe Director's Commentary

"Early Man"

There are few film critics on Earth who love Aardman Animation as much as this one, but I was pretty mixed on their latest offering, a comedy about the collision between the Stone and Bronze Age. I don't just love the classics like "Wallace and Gromit" and "Chicken Run," but I'll go to bat for "Flushed Away" and "Pirates!" But the new one, while having its moments of inspired Aardman physical humor, feels shockingly thin and less ambitious than the humor that made them famous. It's more of a short film stretched to barely feature running time. Having said that, it's a perfectly serviceable family flick and certainly a better way to keep your kids occupied than a lot of garbage in the animated genre. You could do a lot worse. But most Aardman is usually better.

Buy it here

Special Features Before the Beginning of Time: Creating Early Man Nick Park: Massaging the Funny The Valley Meets the Bronze Hanging at Aardman Studios: A Workshop Exploration

"A Fantastic Woman"

The ascendancy of Sebastian Lelio's "A Fantastic Woman" to such a place of critical prominence that it won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film was somewhat shocking. Sony Pictures Classics has always been a major player in that category, but I didn't see voters connecting with this story as much as they did (I expected "Loveless" or "Foxtrot" to win the prize). I think history will note the success of this film, the story of a trans woman's journey after the death of her lover, spurned by his family in her attempts to mourn. It's a powerful drama, anchored by Lelio's sensitive direction and a truly breakthrough performance by Daniela Vega, who should have been in the acting races for the Academy more than she was. One step at a time, I suppose.

Buy it here

Special Features "The Making of A Fantastic Woman" Featurette Audio Commentary with director Sebastián Lelio

"Game Night"

There are so many things to like about "Game Night," the clever comedy starring a perfectly-cast Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams as that couple you know that always takes game night with friends a little too competitively. When Bateman's brother, played by Kyle Chandler, initiates a murder mystery game to one-up his bro, it starts to get hazy as to what's a game and what's not. There are so many little things this comedy does right. It doesn't fall back on gross-out humor. It lets its couple act like actual couples. A lesser film would split up Bateman and McAdams instead of allowing them to work together. And it's perfectly cast down to even its minor roles. Although McAdams walks away with the movie, reminding us she has killer comic timing too.

Buy it here

Special Features An Unforgettable Evening: Making Game Night - Featurette Gag Reel

"Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters" (Criterion)

As Paul Schrader's brilliant "First Reformed" is getting rapturous praise in theaters, Criterion digs into the vault and gives the 4k HD upgrade to what was arguably his best film as a director before his latest, "Mishima," presented with some spectacular special features. It's interesting to watch this unconventional biopic (which Roger included in his Great Movies) in light of "Reformed" as they share some similar themes and structure. Sure, "First" isn't as fragmented as this brilliant film but it's also a piece that relies heavily on narration, often over a man alone in a room (as Roger pointed out, a Schrader motif). The Criterion release is packed with great supplemental material, especially a fantastic commentary with Schrader himself and producer Alan Poul. Most of all, the movie itself looks GORGEOUS.

Buy it here

Special Features New, restored 4K digital transfer of the director’s cut, supervised and approved by director Paul Schrader and cinematographer John Bailey, with 2.0 surround DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray Two alternate English narrations, including one by actor Roy Scheider Audio commentary from 2006 featuring Schrader and producer Alan Poul Interviews from 2007 and 2008 with Bailey, producers Tom Luddy and Mata Yamamoto, composer Philip Glass, and production designer Eiko Ishioka Interviews from 2008 with Yukio Mishima biographer John Nathan and friend Donald Richie Audio interview from 2008 with coscreenwriter Chieko Schrader Interview excerpt from 1966 featuring Mishima talking about writing The Strange Case of Yukio Mishima, a documentary from 1985 about the author Trailer PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by critic Kevin Jackson, a piece on the film’s censorship in Japan, and photographs of Ishioka’s sets

"The Other Side of Hope" (Criterion)

The thematicaly tied month for Criterion continues with another major fest premiere (this one from Berlin), the latest from the fantastic Aki Kaurismaki, whose dry sense of humor and deep humanism blend perfectly in this tale of an immigrant who finds sanctuary with a restaurant owner and his staff. This is a gentle, sweet little film that builds a surprisingly strong degree of emotional power and political statement by its final act. Criterion has a pattern of releasing more current foreign art house hits, often from IFC or Sundance Selects, and have sometimes taken criticism over some of the choices made in that department. No such criticism could be levied here. This is an excellent film that not nearly enough people saw when it was released. Make up for that now.

Buy it here

Special Features New 2K digital transfer, approved by director Aki Kaurismäki, with 5.1 surround DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray New interview with actor Sherwan Haji Footage from the press conference for the film’s premiere at the 2017 Berlin International Film Festival, featuring Kaurismäki, Haji, and actor Sakari Kuosmanen Aki and Peter, a new video essay by filmmaker Daniel Raim, based on a 1997 essay by critic Peter von Bagh, to whom The Other Side of Hope is dedicated Music videos Trailer PLUS: An essay by critic Girish Shambu

"Red Sparrow"

The latest Jennifer Lawrence spy drama is such an unusual film in that it's MUCH darker than your average multiplex blockbuster fare and yet also has that sheen of Hollywood product that sometimes holds it back from greatness. You should be warned though that this is a violent, brutal film, featuring more than one sequence of rape and torture, and that it runs over 140 minutes. Those are not the kind of elements that Hollywood studios usually allow into their blockbuster star vehicles. And so I'm tempted to give "Red Sparrow" a bit more of a pass than some other critics just because of the risks it takes. Still, it's an often unpleasant experience. You've been warned.

Buy it here

Special Features A New Cold War: Origination and Adaptation Agents Provocateurs: The Ensemble Cast Tradecraft: Visual Authenticity Heart of the Tempest: On Location Welcome to Sparrow School: Ballet and Stunts A Puzzle of Need: Post-Production Director Commentary by Francis Lawrence 10 Deleted Scenes (With Optional Commentary by Francis Lawrence) Movies Anywhere Digital Code

from All Content https://ift.tt/2IHTRYp

0 notes