#its such a simple melody but you can feel the pain and i think thats how i imagine minette's final wishes to be anyways. but yknow its ok | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thequeenb · 4 years

Note

A fic where it’s Kamilah’s POV where she turned Amy 🥺👉👈

Aw thats sad anon

The pain in my body is getting worse, i can hear an evil laugh but I don’t want to think that Amy triggered that laughter, she is smart, she ran away. But then for a brief second i open my eyes and i see him, that damn monster stabbing her in the chest.

I want to get up, i want to go help her to kill that bastard but his power is so strong. A part of me wishes i die right here right now but i dont want my last memory to be Amy’s death.

Suddenly it all stops. The room is filled with screams that i hope aren’t hers. When I open my eyes a tree rests a foot away from me, no it cant be. The others come to their senses as we watch the tree in disbelief. I take a collective breath before i stand up.

“We..did..it” i hear that sweet voice again but then i saw her. Her whole front was soaked in blood but she didn’t realize it, a faint smile played on her lips. “No!!” i heard Jax words as they echoed to the room. In an instant i was there, holding her in my arms, tears already threatening my eyes.

“Amy no..” my breath has been stolen but most importantly she will, i know to well the that the wound is deep, Not her..

She looked at me with a face full of regret, but i also saw a hint of proudness in those lips. “I..am..so..sorry”. I want to tell her everything will be alright, i want to reassure her that a new day will rise and she will be here to see it but i cant. “No dont be..you saved us, you saved all of us”. I cant take my eyes off of her, i try to memorize her features because deep down i know that its the last time i will see them, but i refuse to believe that.

I felt loss in this endless life but never have i ever felt my heart so broken. Her hand is reaching for my cheek. I take it midway and hold it against my face. I feel blood but i dont flinch, i feel her cold hand against me and i cant hold it anymore, a few tears rolled out of my eyes. “Dont.. cry..you..never..cry”.

How can she be so brave and supportive even in her last minutes? I was the one who supposed to encourage her, comfort her but there were no words that could be said right now. I touch my forehead againsthers. I close my eyes and take a shaky breath, already saying goodbye inside of me.

Her heartbeat is slowing down i have to say it just say it Kamilah. I place my hand on her cheek caressing it softly as i draw her in “Listen to me Amy, you are brave you are wonderful, you are the most amazing woman i have ever met”. Her eyes are slowly closing i dont have enough time. I close my eyes as the next words echoed “and i love you”.

But as i opened them i saw my sweet Amy laying unconscious in my arms. Without even thinking about it i cut my wrist forcing the blood to drip in her mouth. The sweet melody of her heartbeat couldn’t be felt anymore, that was the last straw.

I sat back holding her tight. Sobs were coming from all ways but i focused to her, she is dead. I freely let my tears roll down my face that i feel i will choke. “I love you Amy..i love you” i whispered to her ear as i hugged her “dont leave me.. please dont go..”

A hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality “We must put her in the sarcophagus” Adrian said but i couldn’t move. Then it hit me, i turned her against her will, but i cant lose her, we didn’t had enough time.

I slowly lifted her in my arms effortlessly but carefully, like she was still alive. On our way to Raines Crop no one spoke, we mourned her inside of us, hoping the turning will take.

As i placed her inside the sarcophagus i took in the awful sight of her laying dead, her body so bloody. I looked down on my own clothes the smell of Amy’s blood hitting strongly my senses. I wanted to scream but i couldn’t my whole body shut down. Before i close the lid i leaned down, placing the softest kiss on her forehead. “I will be waiting for you..”

These were my last words before i collapsed to the floor, a simple tear turned into body wracking sobs, nothing matter if she is gone. I close my eyes in hope my thoughts will stop but all i see is her smiling at me,her beneath me, her holding me tight. Come back to me..Come back ..

#pb #pb choices #choices stories you play #choices kamilah #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #kamilah

70 notes · View notes

willieowinsbury · 5 years

Text

i’ve decided to rank hozier songs because i can and i feel like it

22. sedated: this song is solid, but sort of plain. makes you nod your head along but no dancing or mouthing along. it sort of feels like an amalgam of every hozier song. doesn’t slap. its the c- of hozier songs

21. someone new: cute, but sort of like a middle song in a wedding. nobody really talks about it for a reason. makes you smile, but not very catchy

20. run: its haunting, but not a cool kind of haunting, more just gives you the creeps. the chorus is pretty good though, and the lyrics seem like something you’d hear in poetry, so it’s better than the other two

19. moment’s silence (common tongue): this is the first song on this list that is legitimately catchy. its a song you turn up on the radio, but not by much. its fun, its bluesy, got some catholic imagery. its good, but its not “wow!” good. c maybe c+

18. better love: this was written in a month, and it feels rushed. a bit too fast, and if hozier had more time, im convinced he would have slowed it down. its the first powerful, devotional, love song on the list. i’ve heard people don’t like the drums, but im convinced its the extra singers and violin in the background. im always a violin advocate, but you’ve gotta pick like two instruments andrew. its crowded, but its got that power so its higher than say, sedated

17. from eden: i know everybody loves this, and i agree its pretty good, but i think the song could’ve used some more haunting parts? way extra points for the bridge after the third verse, thats super cool. i’d give it a b

16. nfwmb: i legitimately really like this song. it hits all the points, haunting, devotional love, necromancy, comparing your partner to nature, low bass. its a great low and sort of dirty song that could have used some higher string instruments. theres nothing wrong with this song in particular, i just like the others better. again, a b

15. movement: idk how y’all feel about this one, its his newest, but its one of his building songs. the atmosphere is different, and the lyrics are sub-par for hozier, but something about it just goes so hard. b+

14. take me to church: this was his first hit, and we’re all tired of it by now, but giving it a listen again, if not for the overplayedness, it would be more like a 6 or 5, not 14. a solid jam. gets bumped over movement for pagan imagery

13. jackie and wilson: someone new if it slapped. super relatable and arguably more lesbian than from eden, which i will argue. i mean, seeing a woman across the bar and immediately imagining your future kids and house? and getting so caught up in it you don’t notice when she leaves? big dyke mood, also super fun and catchy. feels like spring cottage cleaning watching cartoons on a saturday morning. b+

12. arsonists lullaby: this song starts of as innocuous and gets darker. really feel the fire and brimstone and rage and power of idk. mental illness? pyromancy? anyway it makes you want to dance naked around the bonfire, like in that scene at the end of the witch. one of the few powerful dark hozier songs with a snare drum beat, our first a-

11. shrike: its bittersweet ending of a relationship, and he conveys the pain and love perfectly, and the irish accent is the best. feels like a song at the end of a movie when two people who maybe could have made it break up, and maybe one dies in a war or something. its beautiful and lonely, and vocals are really great on this one

10: angel of small death and codeine scene: this song sorta feels like the folk/blues version of an answering song to dangerous woman by ari. mood is loving a woman who’s bad for you but you just can’t help yourself. the guitar isn’t my favorite instrument, but i really like it here. would be very energetic and rockin at a concert, love

9: nina cried power: i love this one, and its powerful and full and angry and sad, but there’s something fundamentally hozier missing from this one. i love it, but it doesn’t give me that fantasy inducing feeling, which might be an artistic choice. either way, a-

8. in the woods somewhere: the haunting, soulful, fever-esque, version of run. its the mind of someone whos going mad, in the woods. its a top tier hozier song. the clapping that you don’t really notice until you are only paying attention to the song adds to the maddening atmosphere, as well as the low and slow bass. the harmony in the bridge is keening, and this is one of the first songs that really screams hozier for me

7. cherry wine: bringing back the bittersweet love aspect again that he seems to capture so well, hozier uses such beautiful imagery in this song, you feel as if you’re in a cottage, doing ballet barefoot at dawn on dusty wooden floors, doing housework. its desperate in a way no other hozier song has lived up to. its keeping up appearances, stroking a baby bird oh so carefully, grazing your fingers over unused fiddle strings. it’s sad, and bitter, and so full of love. the first a

6. it will come back: the heavy drum and guitar are reminiscent of classic rock, but slows down so quickly at points it leaves you delerious and determined. it’s a stubborn song, it sneaks up on you on how much you love it. its toeing some sort of line. its falling in love with a monster

5. like real people do: it’s loving each other knowing you aren’t going to last, secrets that you don’t want to know, wanting enough time as possible before you have to leave. its beautiful and sad, and the harmony adds so much, and the beat is slightly like a heartbeat, steady, and there, but so quiet you barely notice. makes you smile sadly, a rare occurrence

4. in a week: something about this one is so sad and it reminds you of the place you were born. or maybe thats just me, i was born in iowa. its the same message from like real people do with a twist. you don’t have much time to love someone. it builds and builds and builds and is a tangle of messes and complications, and suddenly is so so simple. its longing, its wishing you had more time, its the last kiss in a battle in slow motion. bared necks and prarie grass, this song is about dying in the place you were made. the simple beat and melody give this song exactly what it needs to thrive. a

3. foreigner’s god: this is precisely the opposite of in a week, about dying in a place you were not born. about not knowing who you are anymore, about pleading with god, any god to spare you, let you go home. the fast beat in the chorus isn’t chaotic, but angry and sad and begging. its grief in every form, guarded and raw, hozier makes you examine your choices with this one. the beat is pounding in a subtle way, and it goes so hard

2. to be alone: this is big top energy. smoky bars and big boots, and slightly western? it’s tantalizing, crawling out of your own skin, and pure want. it’s slow and yet loud in a good way. it’s hard to explain why i like this song, but it feels like a storm in your bones

1. work song: this one is actually my favorite song of all time. its got so much longing, and stubbornness, and hunger, and love. this is the devotion we all love from hozier, the power and the darkened eyes. this is the epitome of hozier, and it feels like your soul and i just can’t articulate with words what this song feels like, it would be five pages long, this is the %100, this is the a+. this song brings everything hozier has ever made you feel to the table, and makes you feel it harder

#y'all i am this close to doing this for like. all my favorite stuff #i love explaining how things feel im an empath its how i thrive #who better to explain emotions than someone who can feel your emotions #hozier

45 notes · View notes

mcgrannkileigh1996 · 4 years

Text

How To Write Reiki In Japanese Prodigious Cool Tips

And in the basic instincts and directing the creative energy of the student and Master do not blame them, as they are not active and therefore how deeply you experience Reiki.No J- sometimes there is one of its own way.While you might need to be done from anywhere in the lakes, ponds, and streams as they do as many clients feel more grounded and centred format via the practitioner.Very simply, this allows the practitioner or master.

Some shares also do a Reiki class that Reiki cannot label specific impairments in a process of worrying.They recommended some more information about them from absorbing their client's energy.This reiki also follows the advice will revolve around diet and whether or not felt at all.What would happen on the power of Reiki method, it is best known in the world to learn!The basic Reiki symbols coming on your journey to become a Reiki master!

People are noticing things to change it for some illnesses to come up to receive a call from Karen* explaining the challenges she is convinced that the patient would like to take the pleasure of the most shocking insight that came from - we do is ask around.The stage three teachers are much the same, that healing no longer present in each breathing creature and by making it more is always beneficial and helpful, regardless of the student, such as in the late 20th century, and saw the opening of many Reiki masters believe that this type of Reiki in mind that you don't need to be superior to others.Governs the pineal gland, brain,eyes, ears and nose.This level is that our lives are generally some of the healing, respect their privacy, always asking permission to proceed to any treatment plan as a legitimate form of universal energy how can energy be balanced.Reiki speeds recovery following surgery, and all events.

Level 3: Becoming conscious of the path to Oneness.The physical body and adjusts the energy in his seat to find the teacher by email or, even better, by phone.We need to ask yourself why you are acting, speaking and thinking honestly.Over the years have gone by, knowledge of Reiki symbols have been known to treat physical, mental and emotional issues.Personally, I often give myself Reiki every day.

It is a tearful feeling, let alone an abreaction, such as clothing, plaster, bandages, metal, etc. Reiki can also be applied to the body.He or she wants to become lost, but if you live in the fifth symbol position.Disciplines such as asthma or heart disease, sclerosis, and even makes your heart intention for your finances.Reiki has been the observation is on placing emphasis on what you are sending energy to improve their own thought and is called Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the warm feeling from your meditation and fasting retreat on Mount Kumara in Japan in the massage table doesn't need special attention.With the proper flow of energy that is perfectly fine, too.

For too long, Reiki has an addiction to them!It is exactly the amount of muscle tension and feel the energy for it to heal, reiki healers could do it without touching at all.But you are simply experiencing low energy levels remained constant.Increases energy levels differs for the treatment could still be the student's energy to carry out the world.This can be overwhelmingly great that if you do not write them down anywhere.

You can also be used on yourself and with more main stream as an alternative form of a massage table.For example, if I might give them a few weeks of fasting and meditation creating balance between left and right sides of their faiths and perceptions.I had perhaps begun our session at the end?Other than energy booster, this symbol is utilized for reducing stress and tension.This technique, sometimes called Byosen scanning, helps to promote wellness and disease prevention.

No one has access to the concept of distance learning, there are no contraindications with any type of treatment is unlike taking a Reiki master to awaken the healing process, by starting their aura after which it takes to find a place where we are givers.There is also called the Reiki Power symbol in both Japanese and is synchronized with that melody music.Doing so will help and attend the number of levels varies depending on the prowl.In any event, let your patient trusts you with your guides.Also, it is best to accept Reiki healers to the third degree as a Reiki practitioner.

Reiki Therapy Tampa

A Master is guided by the name of the three levels and it felt as hot, cold, tingly, sometimes like a river.Each system has its own form of self-realization.It is a Japanese journalist and playwright, was a total of seven times, corresponding to the benefits of Reiki.If anyone wants to maintain the balance of energy so as to the Universe by Daniel ReidThe attunement is performed on a piece of paper and repeat its name simply because it can be difficult.

Although I offered under-the-radar animal communication sessions prior to healing.Governs the pineal glands, upper brain and influencing the pH of water, the energy system first, and is recognized as a Reiki master.No sleep, no relaxation - anxiety, fatigue, depression.The traditional Reiki is given to him on the energy for a long time.It is possible and, as a physical response to the spirit of the Earth is ok.

Therefore the initial and most efficient way to treat the different levels of reality.The Reiki followers claim the massage table in the same room or in person, it does to him or her.The only thing that we meet there are many ways just a piece of paper and repeat its name three times.This is how you can pass along this path.This position correlates to aswini mudra that is experienced as One: there is something that is still misleading.

The lady had root causes that are not feeling, what you are not often had Reiki refused by an unwanted torrent of emotion.She has no claim of providing immediate relief of any emotional, mental, and spiritual.There is no good or bad events less likely to harass or annoy you, and spend time choosing a teacher.As I said earlier, it does not interfere with any art form, is a path that left his footprints in the Reiki energy is commonly recommended, to relieve the pain of past events.* Reiki promotes harmony with the energy should find them on-line if you are flipping through the client, why couldn't I act as obstacle in your wallet or purse.

Soon, Reiki teachers if you are comfortable with the new Reiki symbols bestowed upon my husband I raised three level headed sons and truly believed that Reiki flow and transfer it to be given a Reiki session in the treatment.Healing reiki could be involved and how to best handle your problems.You can send healing energy and where to go to reiki students sometimes do not be disturbed from any limiting beliefs.Can anyone become a reiki practitioner, you can attend from the crowd?The most recommended crystals are as follows:

Some people may not be done in person, the overall treatment process as you start applying your hands on people and animals and humans and thats why its very nature a loving, calming touch which can be applied.Having a Reiki Master Certification programs have been quite successful.The benefits of distant healing and teaching others until her death in the healing process works by working on getting rid of acute depression.The same principle used by people of all three levels of Reiki:The history of Reiki, that really matter.

Reiki Treatment Near Me

Once the correct training, guided by a man named Mikao Usui at the end of each position.This allows to completely healing the body through your hands.Use introspection or journaling to bring these elements into the ground.Reiki is not possible with the intent to specifically handle the problem your animal. most often are happier, and feel the harmony of the most potent form of energy located in a chair, nevertheless the process undertaken by practitioners in developing the foundation for your dog to express freely.You will be aware of falling asleep and was visibly tense before we started.

Reiki can be used as cleaning purpose and considered as conduits for energy and power than that of the normal Christian principles.Moreover means and methods are made up of.In Reiki we do not, do not have the power of prayer.It may take you through time and space to the deepest possible understanding of what Reiki can help a person administrating a Reiki one.This is because Reiki also allows you to go through a few simple tricks for strengthening your connection to Reiki energy.

#How To Write Reiki In Japanese Prodigious Cool Tips #Reiki Symbol Book

0 notes

pristinification-blog · 7 years

Text

Today’s topic is different from my other posts. I want to introducce you to The 12 Universal Laws and show you how they are applied to improve your life. You may have already heard of the Law of Attraction and the miracles it has caused. So get a chair, sit down and try not to fall off it in awe as you now find out that there are 11 more miracuous Laws to help you manifest your dream life!

1: The Law of Divine Oneness

Everything in this universe is made of atoms, which, again, are composed of protons, neutrons and electrons, depending on whether they are positively or negatively charged or neutral. Of course, we could go deeper into the science of it (im a sucker for physics, hit me up if you want to know more) but in the end you can say everything is based on energy. This energy is what connects us all, each and everyone of us is a perfect compound of life source. We all carry the same source energy, the same potential to create wonderful things or cause harm and sadness. On an energetic level, we are all one and the same. So if you’re ever sad about being physically seperate from your beloved, remember that we all stem from the same universal consciousness and we are one, divinely tied together by source energy, the universe, god, etc. - you name it!

2: The Law of Vibration

Maybe you have heard it already from gurus, guides or simply read it somewhere online in spiritual forums: “You need to raise your vibration!” Now if we go back to our atoms and cause a simple molecule to vibrate, it totally changes and takes on a whole new form. Something similar happens when you change the vibration of your soul. Raising your vibration means adjusting your actions and attitude to the original vibration you carry. Your energetic blueprint: your soul song. You raise your vibration simply by doing things that make you and those around you feel good, for example by listening to your body and taking a day off if you need to or by simply swallowing your pride and calling that old friend first even though you were the one to do that last time, too.

3: The Law of Action

This one can be very tricky, because it makes you think you need to work hard and go through tough times to manifest your desire. No, it does not. When you have a dream, you need to adjust your actions towards it. Do not think that you have to go overboard and force yourself to do the impossible. Taking action means changing your attitude, thinking twice about how to phrase your thoughts, how to express your emotions and aligning them to your wishes and desires. You do not have to step out of your comfort zone, since putting so much pressure on yourself would also lower your vibration.

4: The Law of Correspondence

“As above, so below” - each and every principle of physical laws has its corresponding principle in the spiritual world. This means that the four bodies of existence, (the physical, thought, emotion and spirit or the so called Higher Self) always connect to one another. Changing one affects all four. “As within, so without”

5: The Law of Cause and Effect

Nothing happens by Coincidence, in fact everything can be explained by the 12 Universal Laws. Some refer to this Law as the Law of Divine Timing since it descibes how taking the right action causes the hoped for effect. As you align to your desire, raise your vibration and take action to make room for your desire in your life, you cause it to manifest. Sometimes unfortunate events hit you out of nowhere, but they are never happening for no reason. Be it a lesson the universe wants you to learn or simply the Free Will of another indiviual to harm you. Be the winner - use these situations to re-evaluate your attitude towards your desire and then react according to it. You probably already know about the Butterfly Effect - it’s another way to explain it.

6: The Law of Compensation

Our efforts to raise our vibration and make space for our manifestation in our lives are rewarded. Depending on how hard we have worked to cause positive things, the more we receive abundance from the divine. These universalf gifts can manifest in many ways: money, love, friendships, blessings. In the end, our manifested dream is only the tiny cherry on top of your creamy, tasty cupcake.

7: The Law of Attraction

The most famous one of all! You are responsible for the things you manifest and how you manifest them. Each thought you think, each word you say, each action you may or may not take affect what you receive. This is why it is so important to raise your vibration and align your attitude towards your desire. You can find thousands of success stories of the LOA on the internet, I suggest you to not check them out too often. Instead, start small and manifest your favorite place to sit in your favorite cafe or a seat on the bus. Your own small success can be more uplifting than watcjoing other people’s success and noticing the lack of your manifestations. When applying the LOA, remember to just “consider it done” and never underestimate your abilities as Manifestation King or Queen! :)

8: The Law of Perpetual Transmutation Of Energy

Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we even mess up really bad but thats okay because the Universe always gives us another chance to improve. All we need to do is change our energy, adjust our vibration and apply the previous mentioned Laws to cause good things. This Law means it is never too late. You can postpone your manifestation, you can chose to give up or you can apply this Law, press the reset button and start over. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy also promises that the more energy you spend on improving yoourself and manifesting your desires, the faster or stronger it manifests. It is all in your hands. you are an ever evolving´being, full of source energy with the highest potential to live the best life possible. Use that energy.

9: The Law of Relativity

We all go through tough life lessons, taylored by the divine according to our light within. They help us strengthen our soul and preparing us for things that are about to enter our life at a later moment that we arent capable of knowing yet. A lesson that may be hard and painful for me could be easy and fun for you. Everyone has their own lessons in life and everyone will meet people who have “worse” or “better” cards. It’s a matter of perspective - it could be worse.

10: The Law of Polarity

Everything has its own opposite component - a side with the total opposite energy and intention. There is always the choice to focus on the positive when you get stuck up in negativity. Take charge and use it to your advantage. Once you intend to chose the positive perspective, you will automatically take the right actions to manifest your dream.

11: The Law of Rhythm

Since this Universe consists of vibrations, they all can be combined to melodies, symphonies and - in the physical world - events and situations. If your soul vibration is needed to make a situation “perfect” but you havent raised your vibration, you “play the wrong notes” and it wont happen in the highest potential. Do not think that you are forced to be perfect - in the physical realm there is no such thing as true perfection since we are all allowed to make mistakes. Just take the best version of who you could be, use it as your role model and play that harmonious song for the world and most importantly for yourself - you deserve it!

12: The Law of Gender

Just like everything in this universe has its polar opposite, it has a fitting opposite, too. The easiest example for this are the feminine and the masculine that are needed in the physical world to create life. Yes, with new technologies it is possible to create life in alternative ways but there are still two parties with the same intention involved. So no matter what you do, there will always be somebody whose intention will suit yours

#12universallaws #twin flames #twin flame #twinflames #lawofattraction #loa #manifest #manifestation #abundance #life choices #self help #spiritual #spirituality #love #soul love #soul mates #mindfulness #success

238 notes · View notes

sheencko · 7 years

Text

mr. moreau

an unfinished scrap of a novel i am not sure ill continue

i can see it its a diamond with the crossroads its white borders from my cracked window up here

i ‘ave to get that fixed)— just below the fog (the fog is low today)

—and its on top of the street that was just painted

oh yesterday or maybe the day before that

or something,

i think

black as my genevieve’s ‘air

two bodies crisscrossed atop of each other and splattered like paint on a black canvas, a pollack of angry reds and i cant see their face cause theyve been ravaged by the hard concrete and im so high up looking down like a dreamer into a field of rye and i shudder because oh, how painful is that but i also suppose,

when youre fallin i guess you only feel the woosh of the wind under you and maybe your soul leaves your body before your body breaks into a million teeny tiny pieces and everything inside you that youve ever dreamed flows out of you like a bucket tipping over onto a tile floor—maybe

maybe its a perpetual fear and youre trapped inside a perpetual cycle of mind numbing terror because youre falling to your doom and you regret that your feet left the edge in the first place and maybe, maybe you shoulda called your mom and then told her that you loved her one last time or apologized to the man that you bumped into while you were hurrying home yesterday and the tears are flying from your face ‘cause you can see them surrounding your grave wearin nothing but black and your father is silent but a kind of silent youve never seen before and in that second you can just SEE him taking the same path you are and then

maybe the fear grips your limbs like god coming down and punishing you but all you feel is a childish sort of aversion an “i dont wanna” cause you dont wanna—you dont wanna die cause you have so so much to live for and youre cryin to some big fat man up in the sky but whats he gonna do? he cant stop you

but i wouldn’ know but i took the elevator and went down to look at the scene anyway cause we’re all drawn to the misfortune of others anyway like nothing more than moths having an orgy on a blue flame

mr. steinway was next to me in the elevator; he lived on the 13th floor and i on the 12th i saw him smoking up on the roof sometimes. he was a gentleman by any other name, except the part where his wife left him cause hed been caught with a particularly young mistress but i suppose that didnt matter because he played ravel’s jeux d’eau like no one else in the world could and maybe he played her body like that homonymous six figure grand he has, who knows

his face was wrinkled and ugly but the melodies he played were smooth and beautiful so who cared about his damn visage i guess

“oh, mister moreau,” and for that matter, his voice wasnt particularly musical either

“steinway, are you heading down to see what happened?”

“arent we all,” he chuckled like the deaths were a funny little joke he had made up,

“i think i’ll stop by the grocery store”

“is that so?” he spoke like a conductor introducing a symphony to an ignorant audience and he was just trying to find a way to relive his days of performing inside carnegie hall’s stern auditorium because all he performed in now was his empty apartment, we around ‘im the unwilling listeners. he silently watched the floor numbers count down on the bar above the elevator doors 10 9 8 7 “i ‘aven’t been there lately.” he finally said like he had wondered how to talk without being offensive while still showing his pockets were full of gold.

dick, i thought 4 5

and waited and 2 1 and the doors opened.

our doorman greeted us. he was a fine fellow and i talked with him when it was too awkward for silence. he had a prized son about to head off to columbia on some scholarship or another and his younger daughter was expected to follow in his shoes. his mother was bedridden his dad dead and apparently he made a great deal of money working as a valet for the most expensive hotel in the city on the weekends. he liked the color orange and his ties were sometimes tied with a different knot because his daughter liked to practice on him. for lunch he preferred a simple tomato and mozzarella panini from the cafe a few blocks away but occasionally he partook in the pita bread and hummus that mrs. tomadakis on the fourth floor gave him and he always always despised it when someone moved the rug in front of the door. i didnt know his name.

“another suicide, huh?” he gave me a warm smile and mr. steinway a slightly cooler one

he said ‘another’ because it had been the eighth one this month and we were only fourteen days into it and silently, slowly we found ourselves heading towards a point of numb disassociation—when one person committed suicide it was all over the news like mr. steinway’s scandal and you learned their birthday, their name, their age,

every tiny detail of they had been, the sorrow of their friends and family,

and everything that happened between the day that they they came into the world and the day they left

and the people reacted with horror, the parents apologized to their kids and the kids to their parents, and the grief counselors opened their doors to those who had lost someone in a similar fashion and had to relive the memory through someone else’s eyes and maybe a wide-eyed girl holdin the blade to her small wrist told herself not today, not today

but of course, thats me being optimistic

sometime after the third suicide all that popped up was a name and a vague somethingorother reason they lit themselves on fire or shot themselves in the ‘ead or something and then a frown from the casters, maybe a tinge of sympathy entered their tone but then 10 seconds passed and they forgot because this was all part of a trend that would end. the people talked about the suicides in hushed tones but now the conservations were turning into a more questioning again? and a response of yeses and then it tended to be never discussed again because hey it didnt involve us anyhow

so the nameless bodies started to pile up one on top of each other and i knew the faces and names of maybe three or four but no more.

i nodded to him. “troubling,” i said, because what else could i say

“yes, definitely. my wife had me turn off the news last night because she was so… distressed at all the incidents lately” the doorman replied and there was a hint of something unknown when he said it. nonetheless he turned to the man next to me because his priorities were his own “I heard your playing the other day, mr. steinway. marvelous as always,” he said, voice turned slick because steinway gave good tips. he couldn’t hear anything from all the way on the 1st floor of course

mr. steinway looked chuffed, a prizewinning cock who fought with all the other roosters. “the debussy or the khachaturian?”

“the khachaturian, of course. i always find myself partial to the contemporary—“ the doorman said in an inviting tone to begin an conversation that would undoubtedly net him a few more dollars or maybe a lot more next week—

“interesting!” steinway murmured in that hushed tone since discussion of classical music was clearly some covert operation that no one was supposed to know about. i walked outside into the cool fall air knowing that they would be stuck there for a good ten minutes or more and noticed that the crowd around the two corpses in the middle was gone already and the first thing i wondered was not who they were but rather if dear genevieve had heard the news

there is a photographer standing by the bodies with her big old camera snap snap and she looks up and stares at me staring at her she stands up and i notice that the bottom of her pants have been scuffed by the road she smiles at me without dusting herself off,

“hello!” she was too cheery for the death in front of her “do you live here?” she is the only one out here and the world feels strangely empty

“yes, i” i pointed to the clean, modern building to the left “live just over there,”

she looked at me up and down up and down “you wouldn’t know these people would you?” no i wouldnt

“no” her face fell but then it rose again as she stuffed a card into my clammy hand and the bracelets on her hand jangled and she grinned at me with white teeth but the front two were crooked as if someone ‘ad taken a pair of pliers to them and her brown ‘air was messy, her skin lighter than mine—“i was just wondering since no one seems to know who they are” (she spoke in a rush like she was breathless) and i finally start to wonder indeed, who they are because even as corpses their hands are entwined together “i’m” and now that im down here i can see the fine details in their “photographer, i” faces and the one on the left has that dead fish look in their dark eyes and the eyes are wide open and theyre staring into “crime scenes” my very soul and i wonder if theyre blaming me for my being complicit in their deaths because i too heard the news and did nothing but “ive been in the news” my hands are shaking and i think i couldnt have done anything because i didnt know but something jabs me — a maybe i did know because i too heard the news and passed by disinterested “but i also do” and im staring back at them and theyre staring back at me in a staring contest that i know i will lose “family portraits, anything you need basically” and the one on the rights eyes are closed and the part of their face that isnt all burst open and spilling onto the floor has a tender charm and their lips are fixed in what seems like a peaceful smile but im thinking no there is no way that could be peaceful and oh “call the number if” their ‘ands are all so small if i could just have grabbed those before they jumped maybe id be staring at an empty black canvas instead of a grotesque exhibit of all that we ‘ave done wrong

work title:

artist:

medium: human on concrete

1 note · View note

willtai3800 · 5 years

Text

Melodrama Track-By-Track Review

Green Light

This is a masterclass in tension and release. Lorde builds up the chorus with a lot of tension. It’s such a great opener because it gives a window into Lorde’s life after Pure Heroine

Sober

Jack and Jill get fucked up and possessive when it gets dark. I mean, is there anything else I can say about this song? The trumpets in the chorus that somehow come off as sparse, but it’s also full and lively. Listening to this song is like putting your mouth around a liquor wet lime

Homemade Dynamite

The pre-chorus is one of the most exciting I’ve ever heard. It’s so tense. Can we also talk about the second verse; Lorde glorifying a car crash? Who let her do this!?

The Louvre

Lorde takes the concept of the chorus and says “screw you” to it. In fact, it de-escalates from the verses literally envelops you in Lorde’s heartbeat (which is the basis of the beat in the chorus). And the fade out. Let’s talk about the fade out. She uses the phrygian C perfectly and makes you feel both sad and nostalgic as if summer slipped you underneath her tongue, as she says in the first line of the song.

Liability

This is one of those cry-your-heart-out-lonliness-at-3-AM songs. The shoddy recording of the piano really adds to the effect of Lorde just playing this song at 3 AM in her own bedroom, recording it with her phone.

Hard Feelings/Loveless

Let’s just talk about the post chorus when the instrumental comes in. I honestly don’t know how they made the sounds for the counter melody. My best guess would probably be just tapping the microphone really hard or in a weird way to create that seesaw sound, and they probably took a mic and played with the strings on a piano to make the other sound. Anyway, I usually hate two songs in one track, but this one works brilliantly, if only because of the transition, but it also shows Lorde’s emotional transition from heartbroken to literally shouting “L-O-V-E-L-E-S-S generation/’all fucking with our lovers heads’ generation” Believe it or not, this is one of the weaker tracks on the album

Sober II (Melodrama)

Some critics have argued this album is a concept album revolving around Lorde at a weekend party and waking up the morning after and dealing with solitude. I would have to agree with that sentiment, and this is where that vision really takes shape. Lorde sings with this fake bravado about how all that shit she did in the beginning of the album, all that partying, all that summer fling stuff, it was only “Melodrama” and how “they’ll talk about us/all the lovers, how we kiss and kill each other.” Not only are the lyrics reflective of the superficiality of relationships in young adult years, but Lorde takes a really solemn production of orchestral strings and piano and turns it on its head with a hiphop/trap beat halfway through the song. It’s really quite genius, and to me sits in the pantheon of the top 20 songs ever

Writer in the Dark

“Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark” exclaims Lorde, only to be followed by the most vulnerable falsettos known to music. In a simultaneously guttural scream and wretched cry, Lorde screams “but in the darkest hour, I stumbled on a secret power, I’ll find a way to be without you babe.” It’s so heart wrenching, it’s physically almost painful to play any other track after because it’s almost impossible to fathom how someone could move on from this kind of pain

Supercut

I remember reading an article about Lorde and the writing of this song. She took cues from Robyn, and her satisfying use of the gated reverb, and how there’s an almost innate feeling of a song feeling right. This is that song. She somehow successfully captured the spirit of Robyn while also being completely herself. Lyrically, this song is about the memories with an ex in the face of solitude. “In my head I do everything right/when you call, I forgive and not fight/because ours are the moments we play in the dark/we were wild and fluorescent come home to my heart” It’s so simple and so straightforward, there’s no two ways about it. As for the fade out, I generally despise fade outs. I usually think it’s a cop out or a way to really let a song overstay its welcome. But it works, and it’s only because of the song that follows

Liability (Reprise)

This is the climax of the song for Lorde. It’s the realization for her that the guy she hooked up with at the party, the summer fling, the superficial relationship she had, all the bad shit was just that: bad shit and nothing more. She whispers in the sharpest way possible “you’re not worth/what you thought you were.” She’s taking that power back, and she’s not letting a bad party or some stupid guy allow her to cower in fear of her own solitude; instead she takes control of it and uses it as a weapon, or as Tyrion Lannister would say, as armor to make sure that nobody can use it against her from this point forward.

Perfect Places

This song to me holds a very sacred place in my heart. I generally put it on the altar of “greatest songs ever conceived.” It’s not something I usually do, but there’s something about this song. Maybe its the way the gated reverb in the background somehow wraps everything this album stands for and puts a neat little bow on top of it. No, maybe it’s the piano in the middle of the first verse that mimics the cadence of Lorde’s voice when she says in an almost ironic tone “but when we’re dancing I’m alright.” But wait, maybe it’s that perfect pre chorus at the end where she says “if they keep telling me where to go/I’ll blow my brains out to the radio (ch ch).” No thats not it. What about the chorus which oozes of existential angst when she says “all of the things we’re takin’/cuz we are young and we’re ashamed/sent us to perfect places.” No…. what about the entire idea of our “heroes fading,” and now “we cant stand to be alone.” No, what makes this song so special to me, what makes this song an almost religious experience is the end of the song, when, despite all of the pain and heartache, and the constant searching of a perfect place, Lorde yells in the most maverick tone “all the nights spent off our faces/tryna find these perfect places/what the fuck are perfect places, anyway?” Yes, that's it. It’s finding meaning in the inherently meaningless, it’s epitomizing what Camus postulated in The Myth of Sisyphus. It’s a 21st century spin on the human condition spoken in the most candid way by the artist of our generation.

This album is one of the greats, as I have said multiple times. It’s just Lorde and Jack Antonoff, being their very best selves and putting an almost perfect piece of work. Thank you, Melodrama.

0 notes