#just a rant cause I’m sad and no one irl gets it

[starrystvdy]

It’s Eurovision day :( I’m feeling kinda heartbroken, I know that’s so dramatic but this is usually one of the most fun days of the year for me and it brings a sense of community I don’t get to experience often (I don’t get out much lol). But of course, a community built on selective politics and sponsored by the ones committing atrocities isn’t worth it. Fuck the EBU for not being able to stick to their “values”. And fuck it, I don’t care if israel win. They’ll have to pay for hosting it next year, and you just know they would turn it into a propaganda fest and expose themselves further. Let the whole thing go to ruin. It’s gonna take a bit more than music to unite us this time.

#t.txt #just a rant cause I’m sad and no one irl gets it #autism is showing here ik #esc24

[queenofmistresses]

Okay so literally no one is going to care about this but i really need to put this here because i nearly started crying over this

okay so some of you who pay close attention to my blog (so like… one of you?) may know that I have had a change in friendship groups over the last few months. Certain members of the group were leaving me out of things, making me feel bad, being unsupportive with my mental health and overall were not meeting my needs and when I tried to communicate this it didn’t get across to them. This was not done with malice but I couldn’t take it any more. I am still friends with everyone in this group for the sake of not causing drama but I am no longer close with the group.

there, context done.

Now, in this group there is 1 guy, who I actually was friends with first and brought into the group. (Might sound like i’m bitter about this, i’m really not, i just feel like that’s important). Now he didn’t do anything wrong in the friendship at all, he never made me feel bad, always talks to me, and is always nice to me. but because i’m not in the group any more and because he’s become closer to other people in the group in the last year or so, we’re not as close.

which i think is really sad because we were really close at a time, especially at the end of lockdown and just after. I trusted him a lot and he trusted me too, talking about insecurities, bad girlfriends etc and he was the first person I came out to as asexual. And he was really supportive and helped me come out to my other friends at the time.

we still talk, he always says hi to me and talks to me when i come into school and that kind of thing

so to the topic of todays rant, he just messaged me and sent me this short story that he wrote and asked me to read it. Got my opinion etc and spoke to me about his coursework in english, listened to my advice etc. (btw it was a good story but there was some grammatical issues that I would be tempted to correct if it was going towards anything).

and I just. I forgot how nice that is. I’ve spent so much time on here these last few months getting harassed by men and being disrespected, that I just forget that I am incredibly lucky to have a cishet man in my life who genuinely is just a sweetheart. I miss him. I forgot how nice he is and how funny and how hard he tries with everything.

and honestly i’ve forgotten what it’s like to have friends irl that talk to you outside of school of their own accord. It’s been so long and I just miss it. I wish there was a way that I could be close with him again without the rest of the group but I don’t think i can. And I will forever miss that friendship we had at first because it meant a lot to me and helped me out of a dark place.

i hope that I get a friendship like that again and i hope that he finds someone he trusts with sharing his insecurities and problems because i think everyone deserves a safe space

anyway sorry for the rant but I needed to let it out because i miss people and i’ve got another year til i have hope of moving past that

[writingmochi]

ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ ｉｎｔｅｒｆａｃｅ．．．

you have reached year 1

lissie: hello from space and time! if you don't know who i am, i am the owner (aka flight director) and writer of the blog and this post is in celebration of the one-year anniversary of me creating stories and posting them here. i don't think i can't express the gratitude i have for everyone who has read my works, silently or with feedback, and all the people i have interacted with here. so this is a recap for me and maybe for new visitors that come to know what has happened on this blog.

p.s. yes, the anniversary of this blog is enhypen's jake's birthday because my first work was released for his birthday.

let's get to it!

all research done (read: works written and released)

a story of two broken hearts | enhypen's jake (9.5k [novellete])

time wave | txt's yeonjun (8 chapters; 72.8k [novel])

smirch episode 1: heeseung | enhypen's heeseung (25.7k [novella])

crossroads | enhypen's jay (39.3k [novella])

ashen | txt's beomgyu (18.7k [novella])

total: 12 works (8 chaptered series, 4 oneshots) and 166k words written

all the navigators connected (read: mutuals)

@kookthief

how are you doing, ellie? hope you have a very nice day whenever and wherever you read this message!

@orpheyeux (via @ujunxverse)

camille! it’s sad to see you go and enhablr losing a great writer but it has been an enjoyable time to discuss with you about your stories (though i haven’t read all of them :( ). hope you enjoy life cause it seems that you are and i hope you’ll succeed with all your endeavors, especially with your zine and college !!

@euphor1a

hi aleyna! how are you doing these days? hope you’ll have a fantastic day/night and you can reach out to me whenever you want 💕

@heartandfangs

P! idk if you’re online or not but if you do, how are you?? hope you’re doing a-okay :D though i miss your writing but pls take your time!

@jeongwins

lin i swear i still reread you review for crossroads asdfghjkl sad to know that life is hectic for you but i’m giving you my energy! i’ve also seen that’s you posted your wip and i’m sure i’m gonna read it! take your time and hope you have a great day!

@s-ngh8n (via @s-ngh8n-main)

lemon! losing passion is normal and i really don’t mind if you decide to stop altogether. hope you have a fine day seeing as you’re opening new chapters in life <3

@boba-beom

hey smiles! don’t worry uni is also as hectic for me (a month before finals asdfghjk). with that said, take your time and have a nice day :D

@dim-sun

hi zu!! so excited to see a new writer coming (no pressure though) + i’m also sad about treasure :( take your time and enjoy the process, i swear you won’t regret it! have a great day!

director's journal entries (read: all the rants i have thought out the past year. some are genuine, some are sarcastic):

is it normal to have such a parasocial relationship with a mutual because you're excited to talk to them but they don't seem to care for you? just me? okay

yall are very dirty istg! i even block some of yall who literally thirst for them irl cuz i felt so uncomfy. i'm currently hiding behind the fictional story blanket

bruh it would be so embarrassing to know that your idols lurk here (esp related to the previous entry)

as much as i love my followers, pls interact with me... i felt like i'm talking to a void if i post anything other than a fic

the discourse istg yall are petty

ignore them. don't be a boot licker. they'll ignore you anyways

as much as i love tropes, can we get more stories that innovate on those tropes??

the difference in the number of notes between a smut fic and non-smut fic asdfghjkl all of yall's hormones are shaking

hey! i'm happy to see that the ratio between written fic and smau are decreasing from time to time (love smau but as someone who doesn't use the main social medias other than youtube, i'm out of touch)

a gray asexual's note to a great smut fic at tumblr dot com: 1.smut fic whose smut isn't the main part of the fic (give me substance, give me a story, give me LORE!) 2.let it be realistic, let the reader be tired after being obliterated all night (they're hurting outside and inside genuinely) 3.we can see how horny you are for the idol based on how you write your fic. you can chill down and let the story flow~

i'm freaking jealous w/ writers who have high interaction. i wanna have one myself but for it to be genuine so i don't have to be a pretentious ass/attention seeker

as much as i understand the amount of writers who hates empty blogs (aka w/o pfp or name), if they interact w/ your fics then there is a human behind it (unless it's a p*rn bot than f u)… hmm but maybe it’s just be me thinking positively…

notable moments from the past year

blogs open!

joining @indigoseasons as a writer

reaching 100!

first series ever (time wave) complete!

what’s next?

lissie: well, of course i’m going to write the ones in my wips post and even though i have some that has been pulled out from the list, it doesn’t mean that i will not write them. it will move to the back of my wips instead.

i also have a plan to create a kpop ff recommendation and writer’s club blog. the climate of kpop ff writing and reading in general has been too serious (imo) so i want to create that blog with the emphasis of the fun of writing a story and reading a story. so, stay tune to that!

lissie: with all of that said, i cannot thank all of you enough for the support, the kind words, the criticism. cheers!

#the voyage: year 1 #milestone of the moon #announcement from the moon

[hazzasultimatekiwi]

10, 14, 16, 18 🫶

id like to note my appreciation for the even numbers here, makes my little brain so happy 🥹

10- name a dog

the first one i thought of was BINGO from a nursery rhyme 😭

14- coffee order?

already answered, but don’t drink coffee too much so iced chai’s for me

16- if u had to get any tattoo rn what would it be and where?

also already answered, but i’ll do another one :) i’d get a orchid on my side for my mom idk what style though i’d have to think that thru more

18- rant about your favorite musician

CHOOSE JUST ONE?!! impossible… jk i’m kinda missing harry a lot rn like i’m loving all the tour content, don’t get me wrong, but i went thru all my concert pics and stuff the other day and it made me sad how long it’ll be till i can hopefully see him again. i’ve only seen him once and it was such an emotional experience for me cause (like many others) his music/ he got me thru some of the hardest parts of my life and i came out the other side a better person and i miss being able to interact with that community of people irl i just love that man so wholeheartedly it hurts sometimes but i know i’ll be there again one day ( fingers crossed) so im trynna let that be the though instead of like overwhelming sadness and despair (not full on like depressive mode tho just rain cloud over me on a sunny day)

#ily rowyn ur amazing ❤️ #ask games #rowyn 🫶🏻

[kpophubb]

back to part II. 2:47am 🌙

Good morning Mia~~ rise N Shine sweetheart

I wish you a happy Tuesday 🥰

eat good and treat yourself kindly

See you flower ❣️ 🌹

~ 🐁

Hahah hello baby 😅🧡 just created an acc to write you a letter too, but OFC ME BEING ME, I forgot the password in a span of a few hours 💔 so I’ll just write you the reply letter here.

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡….first of all, thank you so much for always leaving the sweetest messages for me to see right when I wake up in the morning. I hope you know I read your asks the first thing in the morning and they always leave me with a huge smile and a great start to the day. 💛

♡… aww thank you for saying that you will be there for me 🥺 I know you will🫶🏻 so don’t worry I’ll ofc run to my anonie if I feel bad ever and rant a lot but like you said, I’ll be okay so don’t worry love. You understand this thing I do, when you’re a people’s person you worry too much and get anxious when you enter a new place, worrying whether you will be able to fit in or not. Whether they’re gonna judge you for what you wear, do, say and whether they’re just gonna get you attached and turn out to be one of those people who always make you feel bitter at the end and leave. :( those are the kind of mixed emotions and fear I’m having now, bc personally speaking I’m really afraid of people irl and can’t maintain any sort of relationship that be friendship, family or romantic. And I’m also worried about my academic performance bc I’m not really talented or smart and struggle a lot with that. But I’ll be okay, cause I’m a strong girl 😤 ik after a few months I’ll be able to adjust and can take care of myself! I love spending time with me and at this point ik my self worth so well and what kind of people to give myself to, so there’s nth to grow afraid about!!

♡…soulmate best friend. Hmm. I can feel you as I always longed for one but at the end always got my heart broken by fake friends. But, I finally found my best friend and we’ve been friends since 4 years already and our understanding level and everything is too good to be true, I already feel like she’s my soulmate bff! 🫶🏻 I love her the most!! So that’s why it’s making me so sad that we’re moving to two different continents entirely and won’t be able to see or talk to eachother as much. Cause you know how hard long distance relationships can be..they fall weak and break over time and closer people replace you. And she’s someone I wouldn’t want to lose at all costs. Ofc I know we’re gonna make time for eachother and try our best to meet and call, but yet..some part of me is so scared it makes me feel super lonely. However, I know one thing for sure now that relationships are really about two things- effort & destiny. If a relationship is supposed to last, no force in the world can tear you away. And if it isn’t, no force can keep you together. Hence, I’ve left it all upto fate and am keeping my fingers crossed that nothing will ever change between us. 💔

♡… AH ANONIE there’s so much I’d love to tell you about myself and I’d love to show you pictures of the places I’ve been to and myself as well but I’m not very comfortable sharing my private life anywhere sadly✋🏻 :( bc our asks can be read by anyone here so..,, I’m hoping one day when we talk in private dms (If we do, no pressure so you can relax) then I’ll send you all the nice stuffs and you can get to know all about me that you want to. 💞

♡… and lol about the skincare! I was using this mask called the Chinese ginseng & rice mask by the body shop? I mostly use Thailand and Korean products on my face lol, they suit me more. (Esp thai products) 😛 I always buy a lot of skincare + body care and invest less in makeup bc makeup doesn’t really suit me much and I don’t like using it a lot. I prefer natural looks more 🫶🏻 what kind of products do you use anonie?? I’m curious!!

♡…about healing anonie. Healing takes time and can be really scary. Sometimes you feel like you take 2 steps forward with everything you’ve got but the next day you withdraw 10 steps backward and feel like you’ve lost it all. It’s okay love. Just hang in there and don’t overthink what’s to come in the future. Life is a cycle of happiness and sadness, if sadness comes so will the happiness and if happiness comes then the sadness is inevitable too. There’s nth to worry cause you can rest assured that if you cry, you will smile again for sure. And I’ll always obviously be here for you and give you my shoulder to cry on and try to cheer you up when you’re down. So you can always rely on me! ❤️

♡… aww you’re so hard working anon🥺 pls take proper rest as you need energy and good sleep and food if you need to work hard! I’m always acknowledging you and am proud of your steps even if they’re as trivial and little as going out of the bed every morning. I love you so much!! I’m not feeling my usual positive and happy self atm as I’m physically sick (period cramps + back pain and stomach aches) and also I seem to be crying and feeling like shit recently due to my period maybe idk but your texts and presence always cheer me up. I love you so much and thank you for everything, my hyunnie 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘

"I thank you for being born, stay." 💛

#mia’s asks #stay 💌 #🐁 anonie

[xshazxx]

Literally a Big smile just formed on my face reading what you just said I know you’re hurt but I’m so glad you’re ready to move on with your life no one is worth your mental health being slowly deteriorated period point blank!!!

I won't lie, I cried a lot. I cried to the point where I couldn't breathe, like I was that hurt. But you know what my friends reminded me? There's so much more to life than being liked or known by someone you admire, you can appreciate them without being in their faces 24/7, supporting them means so much more.

Plus I have so much to do! I'm getting poptails with my best friend tomorrow, I'm going to this dope ass wedding in a few weeks and seeing 5sos and Harry Styles and finally an irl Shadowhunters con!

There's alot of sadness in letting go of the idea that I have to meet Ronen and Rafael to be validated but there's so much more I can and will be doing with my time than worrying about what people on the internet say or think of me!

I'm happy you guys are here with me for this moment, cause honestly without the kind messages I've received over the last couple of days, I wouldn't have been able to make it through to get to this point.

Okay rant over! I'm just looking for the little glimmer of lights at end of this tunnel.

#i cried again writing this

[steviescrystals]

stream of consciousness rant bc i’ve been having one of the worst weeks of my life <3 feel free to ignore if you don’t care i just need to get my thoughts out

for context if you haven’t seen my other sad rambling posts recently, i got laid off from a job i loved this week and was given zero explanation as to why (and was specifically told i did nothing wrong). word of advice from someone who gets attached to things very easily: please don’t ever make a job your entire life, especially if you are young like me and you don’t plan on turning it into a long-term career. i made the mistake of letting a huge part of my identity and self-worth get tied up in this job, and now that i’ve lost it, i’m pretty much spiraling. onto the rant!

the cool thing about something bad happening when you have a paranoid personality is that on top of all the typical feelings this bad thing would cause for a normal person, it also just reinforces your paranoia. like, just when you think you’re becoming more self-aware and getting better at realizing when your fears are irrational, this bad thing you’ve been worrying about actually happens, and it fucks you up. because there you were thinking “i’m scared this is going to happen, but logically i know i have no reason to think that, it’s just my brain telling me to freak out when i don’t have to” and then it turns out you were right to be scared. and every fucking time (for me, at least) it leads you down this path of “well i was right about this thing, so clearly my fears ARE justified and these things i’m always freaking out about ARE likely to happen” and the stress and anxiety just gets so much worse. i spent so much time telling myself i was being irrational and had nothing to worry about (and everyone around me told me the same thing) and yet it happened anyway. i have a friend who once told me i spend too much time overthinking and dwelling on the negatives, and consequently i manifest bad things happening to me / manifest myself being miserable (side note: maybe not a constructive thing to say to someone with depression and anxiety, i know she meant well but this did very much hurt my feelings at the time). so now i feel like i’m just questioning everything so much and wondering if i somehow brought this on myself simply because i spent so much time worrying about it. but at the same time, how am i supposed to stop that when it was never intentional in the first place? everyone’s always saying you have to change your mindset, but i don’t know how to control these thoughts. i thought i was doing all i could by telling myself when these thoughts came up that i wasn’t thinking logically, but clearly it wasn’t enough because the thoughts kept coming and the bad thing happened and now i don’t know what to do or how to move forward. i feel like i’m second-guessing everything in my life and my already not-great mental state has taken a massive hit in the space of two days. i don’t really know what point i’m trying to get across here or if anyone will even read this, but i’ve just felt like i’m drowning in my thoughts and i don’t want to put all of this on anyone i know irl, but i had to get it out of my brain. if you did read this far and you related to this mess of a post in any way or have any advice, please let me know. i’d really just like to not feel so alone in this right now :)

#said this at the beginning but i’ll say it again: DO NOT let your job become your identity #i know on some level it was just a job and i was never planning to stay there forever #but at the moment this is absolutely devastating and i feel like my life is ruined #bc i put way too much of myself into a company that turned out to not appreciate or care about me at all #please learn from me bc i would not wish this feeling on anyone #vent #lj.txt

[takecareluv]

if it’s okay i’m going to rant a little about how i’m feeling cause i don’t really have anyone else to tell this too but i can kinda relate to the anon with her friend. So my situation is kind of my best friend of quite a few years having another best friend typa thing. Like everytime i see them hanging out i just feel like i'm jealous or just sad about the fact that she's so openly posting about them being out together or taking pictures with each other when we barely ever do that stuff and she never like posts about me at all which is okay i guess and i then feel stupid because posting about hanging out doesn't define a friendship or any sort of relationship but i just kinda wish my friendship with my bestie would be kind of the way that there friendship is yk. And like i barely know her other friend and she lives in a different country but is like visiting every now and then and everytime they just seem so close and i'm like happy for my friend and obviously she’s allowed to have other friends and i'm so sure that she's such a nice person as well and idk i just hate the way i‘m feeling about this. i also don't really wanna talk to her about this because i don't want there to be like any awkward or uncomfortable situation with this and i hate talking about my feelings to other people irl and like I KNOW that my best friend loves me and cares about me but at the same time i feel like she doesn't care about me as much as i care about her and she's like my only REAL friend that i actually hang out with and talk to everyday and idk i feel so weird about this like i just feel like i’m not as important to anyone as they are to me and i'm like no ones first choice idk.

sorry for this long rant i just feel like i had to let it all out and i felt comfortable sending you this sorry <3

if this is too much for you you can ignore all of this🥹

lots of love and kisses❤️❤️❤️

hi my love! it is always okay for you to rant if you need to <3 i’m just happy you feel comfortable enough to send it to me! never apologize okay !! i’m always here 🤍

this is a little hard for me to give you good advice on because i’ve experienced this all and have felt the exact same way you have (and still do tbh) and i know how hard it is because not only does it make you feel sad that you feel like you’re not as important to the people you love as much as they are to you, but you also get down on yourself for even feeling that way. i know for me personally, i will make myself feel stupid for even getting “jealous” or upset seeing my best friend be best friends with someone else (it’s literally been that way my whole life with every friendship i’ve ever had so i feel you a thousand percent) and it becomes this cycle of sadness and anger at yourself and your friends. it’s hard i know.

what i going to do is try to give the advice i know someone else would say to the both of us.

everyone has different relationships with the people they love. whether it’s between various friends, or even family. you might have a different relationship with your mom that your sibling has with your mom. etc. but just because that love/relationship looks different, doesn’t mean the person loves you any less. just like you said you know your friends loves and cares about you, try and focus on that when you feel yourself becoming sad or doubtful. i know it can be a hard thing to do, especially when your an over thinker, but maybe even just try to think of all the love and memories & such that you’ve shared with your friend that proves they do love you. i think we all tend to doubt ourselves a little more and compare ourselves to others and think everyone else has it better in whatever way, but i guarantee you so many people feel the same way when they look at you. you never know, her other friend might even look at your guy’s relationship and feel some sort of jealousy from the things you guys share that they may not. your mind always focuses on the bad rather than the good. so try and change that. when you just think about it, or write it in a journal so you can read it back anytime you need it, think about the good and remember that your friend loves and cares about you much more than your mind tricks you into thinking.

i hope that could be of some use to you and made sense. i’m sending you lots of love and big hugs !!! i love you <3

#answered asks

[saintobio]

Heyyy! Just wanted to ask for hints and such on SY, for my sanity please—Gojo got the strongest male lead grip on me—is he gonna be end game? Or what are you thinking with the state of the story? Personally, I like the idea of Gojo and Y/n getting back together because of how much angsty chemistry they have—respectfully of course to you cause you’re the author.

I also like the idea of Y/n just completely going ape shit. Cause, idk it’s those characters who are soft and reserved in emotions that are usually used and abused but then breakout emotionally that are it for me. But I also like the angst where Y/n will take the brunt of being the scapegoat until she can’t anymore. I’m just super excited for what the future of SY will be

Also I love what you’re doing with the story cause, it surpasses every expectation I had when I began to read this. Nothing can make me feel more than this story cause Y/n is extremely relatable. Gojo’s mom makes me angry—and that’s good bc I’m a masochist and I like feeling wronged within fiction—and I’m just waiting for the climax of the story cause I can theorize but it won’t compare to the legitimate canon stuff you’ll write within the story. I hate the feeling of reading your story without anyone else to fangirl about it to 😭💀 like genuinely it’s one of those things where I feel that I’m the only one whose feeling wronged and passionate with this story, within my social circle of course, you’ve got a strong reading base so that’s not true but I mean personally within my life. Like I can rant about it to my friends but they wouldn’t feel the full extent for themselves bc they hadn’t read it. They just wouldn’t understand the full extent of the angst. Feeling these emotions is what makes your writing so good. Keep up the great work!

“i like feeling wronged within fiction” helphhepfjf why is this me 😭 i’m always such a masochist when i read fics. i want that painful squeeze in my heart so bad lmao

anyway, gojo and yn getting back together wouldn’t be as worth it if it’s suddenly all sunshines and rainbows. i feel like if they really will become endgame, they need to sort out personal issues first. and we are reaching the most dramatic arc i guess? so it’s gonna be a bit heavier than the first 4 chapters. all i can say is tune in.

also, i feel the same hahah when i read a really good manhwa or fic, i always feel sad when i have no one to talk it with bc my irls just aren’t interested abt that kinda stuff. i do get excited talking to online friends tho bc they can match my enthusiasm more.

if you wanna rant about sn/sy feel free to join our discord <3

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

[eugeniedanglars]

hm i’m just gonna post some random ted lasso thoughts because i have no one to infodump to about this.

the secret heat of this show’s success is that a solid 90% of the characters are himbos. any of the players except sam and roy would totally ask what color the pink panther is

i think the reason this show hits so unexpectedly hard for me is that it’s basically like if check please was about pro soccer instead of college hockey and also wasn’t a romance. like it’s got that same emphasis on friendship and building team camaraderie and also has a sweet southern main character who wins people over through baking yknow?

i can’t stop thinking about that gay little welshman. not that he’s actually canon gay but this show doesn’t have any queer characters and if a single grindr joke is the closest i’m gonna get then by god i’m gonna take it. colin hughes assigned gay at tumblr dot com, @ ted lasso creator bill lawrence if you have a problem with this please feel free to venmo me. also come on he turns all his instagram posts into rants about welsh independence he knows art history and he’s also so stupid that he tried to sacrifice his car keys in a ceremonial fire with no plan for how to get home afterwards, how could i not love him even though i keep wanting to call him colin robinson

dani rojas dani rooojas dani dani rojas football is life. i think dani, colin, sam, and keeley are in a four-way tie for my favorite character

roy saying he doesn’t know exactly who he headbutted because he doesn’t see so well at night anymore is probably my favorite joke from the entire show

i’m sad that this show is probably only gonna go for three seasons but it’s always better to wrap things up satisfyingly than to drag on for ages

keeley bicon

aside from the obvious (very white, very straight, very dude-heavy), my main complaint about this show is ted’s divorce storyline, mostly because all that michelle really says about it is that she wishes she still felt like she did in the beginning and i watched that episode with my mom (who has had a stable and seemingly content marriage to my dad for like 30 years and counting) and she rolled her eyes at that line and said that no one feels like they do in the beginning. i guess this actually does tie into the show being very dude-centric cause michelle has no real characterization or presence in the show and that makes me not care about her and ted getting divorced bc it’s like. i am informed that ted is sad about this but the show doesn’t explain why i should be sad about this; i can’t mourn the loss of something i’ve never seen and know nothing about. rebecca’s divorce is done much better because we actually get a sense of what her and rupert’s relationship was like pre-divorce and how awful the divorce process has been for her.

i can’t stop staring at keeley’s hairline just bc she clearly has the same hair texture as one of my irl friends, i.e. very frizzy curly hair that’s been artificially straightened

#ted lasso

[foreverfairytailfan]

It lowkey makes me real sad when I see Fairy Tail hate. Like idk it just brings my whole mood down. I grew up with these characters you know, like Fairy Tail is legit my safety blanket, (as embarrassing as that it is to admit that literally a fictional series is this important to me lmao) so it’s kinda like when you hear someone talk shit about a family member or friend, it makes you angry and upset :/

All the things people don’t like about it are the things that I love about Fairy Tail and i can see the reasonings behind why the show has that specific detail the person doesn’t like, but they don’t so all they do is talk crap about it. Idk it kinda just bums me out cause I have no one to talk about Fairy Tail with irl cause they are watching other animes/newer ones

And I totally get it cause so am I, but also Fairy Tail isn’t just ‘another anime’ to me, like this anime LITERALLY had a part to play in who I am as a person today. So it would be nice to have someone who I can talk about it with rather than only seeing hate :(

Excuse this rant guys I’m sorry this is all cause I saw a two year old post on Reddit about trashing Fairy Tail and idk why but it made me genuinely upset💀 It’s like this happy bubble I live in with my love for this show gets a hole in it and it just deflates cause of ONE THREAD

ik I’m weak T-T

#fairy tail #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #lucy hearfilia #erza scarlet #wendy marvell #fairy tail anime #comfort anime #Legit sad rn #I’m so weak istg #BUT AT THE SAME TIME #THIS SHOW IS MY BABY #HOW CAN I NOT BE UPSET #stop fairy tail hate plz #or i’ll cry

[noteguk]

I’m not the anon from before but when I read e.g. Jungkook fics, I imagine a guy that has some of Jungkook’s characteristics (mostly facial ones) but also of course has a completely different personality than him.

When I was younger that fcked me up a little cause my brain started associating e.g. Jungkook’s face with the awesome characters I was reading about and although I had a crush on the characters, my brain just looked at actual Jungkook and went like “oh yeah that’s my crush”. I think it can really fck with your brain because you then start to get very emotionally dependent on the idol and think of them as your actual crush, you get sad when you realise you may never meet them irl etc. Someone could even end up becoming depressed or paranoid about it.

What helped me was realising that I had NO IDEA what idol Jungkook’s personality is like behind the stage. I DID NOT know him and definitely DID NOT spend any time or scenario I’ve read about with him. Realising he could be completely different from the characters in fiction eventually made me understand I didn’t have a crush on him, but on the characters personality (combined with some of Jungkook’s features).

Just wanted to share that in case someone is in the same situation I was in. Especially now that so many ppl were in quarantine and didn’t spend a lot of time socialising, turning to fanfiction and reading in general was more common and could make them invest emotionally into the idea of someone that is not real and they haven’t met yet. Sorry for the rant, it’s just that knowing where fiction stops and real life starts is really important!

Thank you for this!! I definitely feel like it’s important to talk about it. Every once in a while it’s nice to seat back and remind yourself that everything you’re reading is fiction, no writer here knows the boys personally, and this is a character! It seems pretty obvious for some people, but I’ve been there for a little while too and I think it’s easy to get absorbed in it, especially if you’re especially vulnerable at that time. In the end of the day, it’s just characters who happen to share the same name/mental image of an idol 🥰

#ask

[thevoilinauttheory]

[ i’m not one to really give my opinions on games in my tumblr

but i was replaying through 5.3 (and some thoughts visiting 5.0 again) on maximiloix to get him caught up and g o d do i just have... a little bit to say (funny, really) but there’s spoilers, and i know a couple people who follow me who haven’t done it yet - so i’mma put it under the cut for anyone interested in my rambles ]

[ so. like.

first. still sobbing about 5.3 and its build up, and don’t think i’ll ever get over it, especially after doing it a second time. knowing what’s going to happen, i think made it almost worse - it made all those conversations make sense and its just. hhhhh i love it so much.

next. the solo instance where elidibus takes you through amaurot fighting the people from your past adventures, the people you’ve grown to care about and love. g o d when i did that the first time, i think i literally cried. my heart hurt so much and i just wanted to refuse to fight.

but there’s a reason why maximiloix is in a group in the wol!au i have... because. if it were just him going through, just him as the wol. that part wouldn’t have hurt him. he probably would’ve responded with something like “i’m flattered you think i care” or like “i don’t think you know me as well as you think you do” and then just slaughter them all anyways with zero hesitation (honestly, if it came down to it, he probably would only hesitate with alphinaud, alisaie, or ryne - they’re kids! they didn’t ask for this! but, uh. that’s just hesitation. maybe like thirty seconds later he’d go “aw fuck it”). maximiloix would make the worst wol if he were traveling on his own with no one to keep him in check. i just found that so funny to me.

if it were just him, he honestly prolly wouldn’t be a wol. he would’ve sided with the ascians hands down without hesitation. if it wasn’t before, then it definitely would’ve been with amaurot - he probably would’ve dropped his weapon and go “yeah, that makes sense”... and then leave it be. and if he didn’t, whatever semblance of a heart he has left would have gone out to them as he learned more... even more so when he would realize that elidibus was just a child at the heart of it all. (that part really fucked me up for a bit)

--- HOKAY. THIS CUT IS TO TELL YOU THERES SOME THOUGHTS I HAVE ON THE 5.0 DRAMA TRAIN, AND I JUST WANT TO WARN YOU SO YOU CAN SKIP IT AND SCROLL PAST REAL FAST ---

obvs really late to the party here, mostly because severe anxiety and i don’t like getting caught up in shit like this

so. i saw a lot of posts going around at the time of 5.0 talking about “i hate emet-selch so much why would i want to fucking remember you” or “nope just gonna forget it cause fuck you” - i can understand peoples’ dislikes of emet-selch, as like, a person (as a character, damn. that’s some good writing and you can’t deny that) - yeah, he’s a fascist. he’s an absolute dick. there’s no atoning for shit like that irl but.

its like. my first thought reading all of that was.

“do people have reading comprehension? like. at all?”

he wasn’t saying “remember me”, he was saying “remember us” , y’know. remember that there were people before you. remember that our people suffered greatly because you are our legacy. remember not to repeat the mistakes of the past. remember all of these people that gave their lives to give you yours.

“history is learned, not lived”

literally from the game itself. this whole game is littered with gems like that. absolutely full of relatable lines, whether they be comedic or serious. this game is filled with so much that can be applied to our own lives.

“to take action is to hope. to believe-- to choose to believe, is to take the first step towards a brighter future.” “but if i may give voice to a personal desire... i rather you lived.” “the time left to you is precious” “if it is folly to hope, i am content to die a fool” “but come, turn your gaze to the window, my friend. the rains have ceased and we have been graced with another beautiful day”

“remember us. remember that we once lived.”

and so many more!! even the lyrics of some of the songs are so beautifully written and full of raw emotion that at some point, we can resonate with them.

there’s a post going around... talking about how, as people, we are desperate to be remembered. we write in diaries, we keep receipts of complaints from customers when they diss you about your poor-quality copper, we make etchings on walls of the days passed and our heights as we grow, we leave behind memoirs of times lost to us. so many of us strive for greatness... because we want to be remembered. we want to be learned. we want to be heard. we want our names to be remembered, our stories and our voices... and none of us will see that in the end. sure. family will be there - your pictures will be hung for the next few decades... but after it all? no one’s going to remember who you were in fifty, eighty, a hundred, a thousand, a million years from now. so the best we can do is to preserve what we have. to immortalize the tiny pieces of ourselves. the shitty artwork you drew when you were five, the remains of torn books and libraries, dirty figurines, hell - even the stains left in the walls and carpets of your old home. we make time capsules for a reason. all of us, collectively, are screaming out: “i lived! remember me, please! i was here, i lived, i learned, i loved! i cried, i got embarrassed, i got angry - but i was here! please remember me - remember us!”

is that not the same of what he’s saying? he doesn’t care if you remember him specifically. (would it matter to him? maybe? he’s a fictional character y’all, i can’t speak for his writers) but the message isn’t to remember him and all the things he did in his life. it was to remember that they were people. they tried their best. they failed, but they tried. and they existed. they loved. they cried. they grew. they mourned. they made mistakes.

it really peeves- maybe not in a “makes me angry sense”, but kinda annoys- me, even now, that people would throw away such an amazing message... simply because a fictional character did bad things in a fictional world, or just didn’t like them, said it.  it really is a beautiful and terrifyingly sad message that people didn’t seem to get because they were focused on who said it. this is a sentiment everyone has shared, even if they didn’t know it. 

for me, it really spoke. shadowbringers is, and was, one of the best expansions, i’ll say it. not just for the story but for the overall message of it. it’s fantastic. and i really hope that the people who made those comments - they won’t read this, i don’t think - but... i hope the rest of the expansion after that moment gave them that realization.

sorry for that huge vent/rant y’all. i just, that had been burning in my head for so long now and i finally got the words to say it. if you read through it all, thank you! and please don’t spread negativity on this subject. if you want to say something negative, just move on, please. it’s not worth my nor your time. you can make your own post about it, just don’t leave it on mine.

but seriously, thank you for going through all this. and trust me, it may not matter now - but i’ll remember you. i will. i’ll remember the wonderful people here in the small ways i do. ]

#ooc #ffxiv #5.3 spoilers #5.3 #shadowbringers spoilers #shadowbringers #5.0 spoilers #5.0 #little bit of uh #okay #maybe a lot of a rant at the end #but i feel things so much #and i needed to let those feels out #put my thoughts down and everything #because like everyone #i want to be remembered too

[child-of-the-danube]

Lemme get heated for a moment, ok? Now, before I pop off, the criticism isn't directed towards the queens cause I genuinely enjoy most of them on TV and irl. I say most of them because some have shown to be shitty people but that is a conversation for another time since it touches on serious issues such as racism and transphobia. This is just opinions on a show that shouldn't get me raging but somehow still does and I hate that a tv show can make me this mad. What we see on TV is a curated image on which we can not base a proper opinion about the work/personality of the queens. Why? Because for what they have to do on the show, in a highly stressful environment, cut off from their regular support system (all of which definitely plays with their emotional state in that time and affects their behaviour), they would most probably take a lot more time to plan out, rehearse, touch up, perfect etc. in real life and not everyone is a jack of all trades which the show wants them to be all the time or else they fail... My critique is directed towards the format and the judging/bias/favouritism/clear dislike of some queens and so on.

Now, on to me snapping

I know a large part of the rpdr fanbase (a part, not all) doesn't know what a queen does or what kind of performer they are before they appear on TV which is understandable cause you can't keep up with an infinite amount of drag performers and go to everyone's show but god damn anyone who's been to a Joe Black show knows what kind of performer and star Joe is. I'm angry they brought him back just to shit on him again when he is arguably one of the biggest and most respected drag performers in the UK. Same goes for Ginny, same goes for Divina. Name dropping cause the lack of understanding for their drag/dislike towards them really showed. In UK season one Divina literally turned look after look each week stepping massively out of her comfort zone since she isn't a look queen and they had the audacity to call her runways "questionable" but praised some very much safer, simpler runways ???? Joe's first elimination was pure bullshit and he definitely didn't deserve to be in the bottom and I will forever be pissed about it!! While this performance wasn't stellar it wasn't completely shit either. The United Kingdolls were fantastic, don't get me wrong, but Bananadrama gave me, someone who lives for Eurovision, more of an early and 2000-2007 era Eurovision vibe where it literally was just a few people in simple/low budget campy outfits awkward dancing on a stage and that is what I took it to be. Graham's comment that they weren't cohesive in looks doesn't hold. At least they were all in a shade of pink and a dress/skirt (and yeah Joe's dress was simple as hell but it still looked right in regard how they chose to look as a group. Astina won a challenge in an ASOS jacket and shorts. This is no shade to Astina and her runway look but a call out of hypocrisy and the rage fit over H&M was unnecessary) while the other group had each of them in a different, for lack of better wording, character. Tia shouldn't have been bottom 2, just sayin. They praised her, she stepped it up in her own terms (and everyone steps it up to their own possibilities and vision). Seems like they just really enjoy seeing Tia lip synch.

I feel like this year gave us some of the best queens in a while but the shitties judging in years. And not just on UK but US too.

No one is calling Tina Ronald McDonald Burner out for constantly looking like ketchup and mustard but every other queen with a signature thing is asked by second episode to show something else cause they want to see vErSaTiLiTy. I mean, bitch found a way to incorporate red, orange and yellow on a little black dress runway ?????!!????!??!? While I adore the hell out of Gottmik, she was safe last week solo for the look and being fan favourite. And so the show could play on that no longer existent Tamisha/Kandy drama and make them lip synch against each other. They bashed Tamisha for having a too simple dress but Olivia got away with an even simpler dress cause they liked the hair ?????

Denali and Rosé had the hardest choreography, which they executed perfectly, and Denali for me, beside Mik, had the best look of the week and both her and Rosé were just safe???? Yeah, Rosé didn't have the best runway look but it was miles better than what Tina, who was in the top, did and those two should have been in the top too. And omg Tina's hair choice... *insert Jimbo's rant about Rita's wig here*

In conclusion, the queens deserve to be judged properly and fairly because they are all great but the predetermined choices and favouritism is showing a whole fucking lot. Not only is it bothering for viewers but it ends up being bad for the queens too because people will start disliking them for being favoured and that's just sad. They did nothing wrong and don't choose how they will be treated/portrayed on the show. It's just production fucking them over while trying to push them to success on the show.

#rpdr #rupauls drag race uk #rupauls drag race season 13 #some real bullshit #mister joe black #justice for joe black #what the fuck did they smoke before each taping???

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

#tsumugu logic #seec #spoilers

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records ) #tw: toxic