#just be a fucking bobblehead!! nod and agree!! stop fucking talking and having opinions and thoughts of ur own!!!

[piplupod]

quick post bc im fucking frustrated to tears rn over this (was just logging in to update my writing sideblog lmao) - the most infuriating and terrifying thing abt my current situation is that despite the lifelong abuse, i still cannot keep my fucking mouth shut sometimes

I've been doing what I can to keep myself up to date with what's happening news-wise without pushing myself into dangerous territory mentally/emotionally, and STILL I fucking suffer because I could not keep my mouth shut around parents TWICE now within the past couple days. and then i get into hot water with them and shit gets bad again and i lose whatever meager amounts of respect or trust or whatever semblance of human decency and kindness they had decided to give to me bc I'd "earned" it by being silent and agreeable.

all i said today was that i think Domino's might be a company to boycott bc my mother mentioned getting pizza for my brother's upcoming bday and then there was just a whole fucking awful thing and I just am so fucking angry w myself. it was so much easier and safer when i never had access to the internet bc i never knew anything that they didnt agree with so i could never say anything wrong in that regard. like at least i Know things now and can actually have opinions, but ... idk. sometimes I feel like it isnt worth it if I keep fucking myself over like this because I can't just hold my tongue.

#the other instance was me saying the same fucking shit abt mcdonalds to my dad yesterday when i was in the vehicle w him #i just. i could honestly strangle myself. why the fuck am i so stupid like this #I've learned this lesson over and over and over again. why can't i get it thru my fucking head to keep my mouth shut all the time #do not talk to them!! ever!! about anything!!! why is that so difficult for me!!! #just be a fucking bobblehead!! nod and agree!! stop fucking talking and having opinions and thoughts of ur own!!! #okay im outta here again now sorry fjdkdl I'll try to log back in and delete this when i update my nowrimo stuff again tomorrow #boohoo poor me wah wah theres ppl dying and i have the fucking gall to feel sorry for myself jfc i need to get a grip #if i just kept my mouth shut it'd literally be fine for the most part. so its just me being unable to control myself thats causing this #stop! talking!! even here!! shut up!! #abuse tw #ask to tag idk what else to tag this with sorry lmk if u need anything tagged and i will do so in the future #vent tw

[lacklusterswirl]

Mute/Rook - I’m easy

Where Mute has what he thinks is an unrequited crush, and says something that means different things elsewhere? Idk, I said it once to my friends and they had a reaction similar to Rook’s so... It’s all fluff, but there’s some swearing. No clear resolution tho? 

Also, I made a post about wanting Mute Rook to be a thing so here’s me trying to support this ship.

.

“Hey, Mark!” The loud voice interrupted all the engineers in the workshop that day. And of course, it was Rook, barging in with that goofy smile and bright eyes like he so often did. It had gotten to the point where even Mira didn’t even jump anymore, though that didn’t mean that his heart had the same reaction. Whereas he could barely contain his excitement, there were collective groans and mutterings from their coworkers. Those never affected Rook anyways.

Mute gave as best of an apologetic look as he could to the others. “You’ve gotta stop doing that, mate,” he hissed, feigning frustration. Rook’s mouth contorted like he was trying to hide his smile, but failing miserably.

“Doing what?” he spoke even louder. “I haven’t even said anything y—ahh!”

He pouted while rubbing a spot on his back, drawing Mute’s attention to the way his skin peeked through the miniscule cracks between his shirt and the hem of his pants. Alright, so Mute couldn’t be mad for forever. Not when Rook looked that adorable, milking his puppy-dog look for all that it was worth.

“Julien! Fermes ta bouche!” Twitch grumbled, looking up from her wrist. Apparently, it wasn’t worth as much to Twitch as it did to Mute.

Her little drone rolled away, and the rest of the operators seemed to sigh in relief.

“Why don’t we go outside,” Mute offered. He was so close to fixing Vigil’s gadget, but it could wait. It wasn’t nearly as enticing as Rook’s wide-eyed gaze.

Rook stuck his tongue out at Twitch, who had since refocused on Lion’s drone, rendering it completely useless. “Fine.”

“So?” Mute asked once the doors were closed safely behind him. “Is this about the kitchen? Because you can tell Glaz that I’m an engineer, but I don’t know how to fix that stove.” The chuckle he got in response tightened his chest, and he found himself controlling his breathing with a rigidity he only used during training.

“No,” Rook waved him off. “Glaz isn’t that impatient. He knows we’re getting a new one soon anyways.”

“Then?”

“Twitch said she didn’t want another night of pizza, and then shot down every option Glaz gave her this morning. Before she got sucked into the workshop, she narrowed down a list to three options: a steakhouse that everyone base apparently recommends, take out sushi, or a McDonald’s drive through.”

“She didn’t suggest that,” Mute countered immediately. This was more normal. Little pieces of banter shared between the two of them.

Rook shrugged. “No, she didn’t, but Glaz and I were down.”

“I’m easy.” Mute mirrored the shrug. “Do whatever.”

Rook didn’t respond right away.

“What?” Mute narrowed his eyes at Rook. The GIGN operator was staring back into his eyes, so he wasn’t about to get jumped, and he didn’t have that judging-but-trying-not-to look, so…

“Say that again?”

“What?”

“No, before that,” Rook’s face was blushing slightly, and now Mute was really curious as to what set him off.

He had to think before responding. “I’m easy. Do whatever?”

“I mean, sure, but how did that fit into our conversation?”

Mute stared back, dumbstruck. “What are you talking about?”

The red only deepened, and Rook was rubbing the back of his neck – the sign that he was embarrassed.

“I wouldn’t call you easy. I don’t care if someone said that about you, I think you have self-respect when it comes to your body and-”

It clicked.

“Oh! No!” Mute could also feel his cheeks catching up to how red Rook’s were. “They mean different things! I swear!”

Both of them were stuck in the hallways seeming equally confused and horrified.

“What else does that mean?” Rook demanded, voice definitely a few pitches higher than normal.

“It has nothing to do with sex, Julien,” Mute explained. “It just means that I’m ok with any of the options – that I don’t have a strong opinion. Anyways, why the fuck would I tell you that I’m easy?”

“I thought you were asking me to have sex with you, which is why I was confused as to why you put it in so suddenly.”

“You don’t even like men.” Saying that left a weird aftertaste. Because he just admitted something he had carefully ignored until now. No matter. He had to get this conversation over with as fast as humanly possible. Mute set his mouth in a straight line. “Alright, I’d like to go to that steakhouse. I hear they have a great bar even though it’s not the main thing to do.” Cause only God knows how much he’ll need to drink to get over this occurrence with his extraordinarily well-hidden crush nearly getting outed by a stupid phrase he’s been staying since elementary.

“Sounds great.” Rook’s response was breathy, but at least it was his normal tone. “I’ll let the other two know.”

“Yep,” Mute’s voice was now the tight one. He nodded his head so vigorously, he may as well be a bobblehead.

“Sorry to make this awkward,” Rook was mirroring him now with the excessive nodding.

“Yep,” Mute repeated himself. Finally, he broke the pattern and pointed at the workshop door. “I’ll get back to work. See you later.”

And as usual, his brain immediately replayed the conversation until he got to the one part that didn’t make sense to Mute’s brain

Rook actually agreed.

#r6s #rainbow six siege #fanfiction #mute/rook #misunderstandings #rook #mute

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt9

Word Count: 2789 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite

Fury must have known that meeting with Stark was going to make me emotional because he gave me a few minutes to regain my composure once I was alone before he joined me again. He handed me a tablet, and moved my monitor out of the centre of my desk so we could see one another. He didn’t touch Thor though, leaving the bobblehead right where Stark had placed him.

“Before the attack, I wanted to restructure HR. This has just made it more pressing. I’d like to downsize all the HR offices, and centralize most of the work here at HQ,” he began.

“What about new hires? We can’t centralize with just a skeleton staff,” I countered. He nodded.

“HR is a liability right now. The various offices hold 85% of the level 9 and higher staff. It’s the perfect target for an attack because once the office is disabled, all those locked down files are available. We have a number of options. My first recommendation is to limit the number of staff with high security access.”

“I actually forwarded a proposal to Jenkins recommending that shortly before she went on leave.” I logged into my personal network drive, and pulled the report, flicking it across to Fury’s tablet. He scanned through it quickly.

“I never saw this.”

“She killed it. She said that our security clearance was vital to our work. But, sir, it’s not. When you forwarded me casualty lists, it was by employee ID. There’s no reason why we can’t do all our work on ID numbers without ever knowing who we’re working on. Particularly Payroll, benefits, and insurance claims. No one needs to know who is accessing those items. The only time anyone needs access to actual personnel files is for disciplinary actions. And those are so limited, one employee could manage it,” I explained. “I actually developed a detailed proposal that would allow all HR and Payroll employees to be dropped to a level 4 clearance level.”

“Is that part of this?” He gestured to the file he had open on his tablet. I nodded. He scrolled back to the top and read through it thoroughly. While he was reading, I took our coffee mugs and refilled them. I stopped and greeted the temporary receptionist, and introduced myself to the security guard. As I was at the front of the office, Erin hurried in. She saw me, dropped her purse on the floor and pulled me into a hug.

“Thank god you’re okay,” she breathed. “I was told you were, but I couldn’t get you on your phone.”

“I haven’t been home,” I explained. “Let me show you to your new office.”

I led her back to the etched glass walls that read ‘Deputy Director, Human Resources’ and looked at her. She ran her fingers across her name.

“Is this a joke?” She asked.

“Check out the office beside you,” I tilted my head toward my office door. Her jaw dropped.

“The fuck?”

“We’ve both been promoted. Jenkins is not coming back. Our division took the highest casualties, so Fury and I have just started a restructuring meeting. The rest of the remaining staff will be in shortly. If you could get everyone settled, and finish processing any outstanding injury claims, as soon as we’ve settled any of the changes, I’ll read you in,” I explained. “I think I got most of the files completed, but as we get condition updates on survivors there are changes that will need to be made. The info should be on our shared drive.”

“Wow.” She stared at me. “Yeah, I’ll get started. I’ll let you know if I need anything, Madam Director.” She winked and headed into her office.

I returned to my desk and handed Fury his coffee. He nodded his thanks and finished reading the proposal I’d developed.

“This is a very well developed proposal, and very much along the lines of what I had been considering. It needs some additional work, in light of the attack, but you’ve saved us at least a week of brainstorming with this,” Fury commended me. I smiled.

“Thank you.”

“I would argue that you and the deputy direction should maintain your security clearance.” He pointed to an area in the implementation section of my proposal.

“With all due respect sir, our security clearance comes with a target on our backs. I would prefer to see a field agent brought in and trained for the position I recommended. I’m not sure you are aware, but despite resenting the training you had us all head off to, I didn’t disagree with your assessment that all employees should have basic field competencies. I think we’re living in a world of eventualities and risks, and SHIELD employees should be able and ready to actively protect themselves. But for this particular position, I’d like to see someone trained for operations in the job,” I argued.

“I agree completely. But I think that the director and deputy director should be field operatives,” he stated simply. I was confused, and likely looked like I’d been sucking a lemon, trying to puzzle out what he meant.

“Then why did you promote us?” I asked. “If you’re just going to replace us with field operatives?”

“I have no intention of replacing you,” he spoke slowly and clearly, as though I was missing something. Because I was missing something.

“What?” I shrieked. “I can barely shoot my sidearm, Director Fury. I can’t run without wanting to collapse. I’ve never taken any of the real classes offered at the academy, like How to be a Badass Spy 101 or Strategy or Recognizing a Bad Guy As Soon As You See Him, or anything.”

“You don’t need those classes, Ellis. You analyzed the data about the attack in less than eight hours, and came to a strongly supported conclusion based on the scant information at your disposal. Agent May has said you have a strong instinct regarding covert operations, based on your performance at the academy and how you fled from the Triskelion after the attack. These are things we look for in recruits and we hone those skills in the academy and in the field. All agents go through quarterly assessments for basic competencies, but you’ve already passed those. You passed them last week at the academy,” he explained. “Even on the range, you passed basic competencies. No one is asking you to train to be Agent May, or Agent Romanoff.”

“But –“ I started.

“This department needs someone running it who is competent. You’ve proven yourself as the acting director. I have no doubts about your abilities in other areas.” His tone was final.

“Erin is going to lose her mind over this,” I warned him.

“I am well aware of McKay’s opinion about field training. Let me deal with it.” His stare was unsettling. I wasn’t sure if it was just the intensity of it, or the fact that the eye patch made him really foreboding, but I certainly had no plans to argue with him.

We hashed through the remaining six HR employees’ personnel files, looking at strengths and weaknesses, and what areas they should take over for the restructuring. Lunch arrived just as everyone was trickling into the office, and Fury had it set out in the conference room and invited everyone in to serve themselves and sit. He ran through the situation so far, and then explained that I was the new director, and Erin was the new deputy. No one seemed surprised. But then he dropped the bomb on them.

“Effective immediately, your security clearance is being revoked down to level three. Director Ellis and Deputy Director McKay will continue to carry advanced security clearance, but they will also be in and out of the office a great deal over the coming months as they complete their field competencies,” he explained. The room had been quiet, but the staff even stopped chewing at this revelation.

“I’m sorry, Director Fury, are you suggesting that Annie and Erin are going to take operations training?” Elaine asked. She was older, and had been talking about taking early retirement for a few years. I wondered if the restructuring would drive her to making that decision sooner than she’d planned.

“That is what I am saying. We still have a great deal to plan an execute, but this is the start of some big changes for this department,” Fury confirmed.

“I don’t understand how we are to be expected to effectively work if we no longer have security clearances,” Elaine pressed.

“We are moving to a blind system. All employees have a permanent SHIELD identification number, and you will work entirely with those numbers from now on. For situations requiring knowledge of the actual personnel, the case will be forwarded to Ellis or McKay, and they will manage it.��� Fury highlighted an example of a personnel file on the wall monitor to show how they would appear from now on.

“Surely this will cause a backlog of work for them. Particularly now. There will be a huge influx of new hires to replace those employees who were lost, god bless them,” Elaine argued.

“We will not be increasing the staffing complement of HR or Payroll for the foreseeable future. In fact, we are planning further downsizing in both departments as we establish new protocols.” I could tell Fury was getting frustrated, but I thought the questions were valid.

“This department has eight staff left! Who are you planning on cutting?” Gordon asked. Gordon was our database specialist. He’d been one of seven.

“There will be no further cuts from this location. Other locations will be downsized or streamlined into this location. New hires can be done by any member of this team, dependent on the security clearance of the hire. Only level four and higher will need to be administered by Ellis or McKay.” Fury sat back and started his sandwich, effectively shutting down questioning for the moment. The silence in the room was overwhelming. I shot Erin a worried look and she sighed into her coffee cup.

“Director Fury, I understand that this training program you wanted us all to complete is still on the table. How is that going to be administered now?” She asked.

“Agent Jackson will be meeting with you individually to determine what your training needs are, and will be tailoring individual education plans to meet your needs. You and Ellis, in particular, will be assigned Supervising Officers to work with you to ensure you meet competencies as soon as possible.”

“Are there any other department heads who will be undergoing similar training and Annie and I?” Erin pressed.

“The heads of every department will be expected to make and maintain operations competencies.” Fury was unwilling to elaborate further. We continued eating in silence until Fury rose and excused us back to my office to continue working on the restructuring. The afternoon flew by. At four, Stark walked back into the office, a guy with a dolly of tall, thin boxes in tow. I walked out to the lobby to greet him.

“Tony, what are you doing?” I asked, interrupting him as he pointed at a wall.

“I promised you art this morning, Annie. I hit a wall on the Mark 43, and decided this would be more fun.”

“Well, then. Don’t let me get in your way.” I rolled my eyes and walked back to my office. I kept an eye on him as he took over the space and started bossing people around so that his guy could hang art. He pushed into my office and nodded at Fury.

“Okay, hang that last one behind her desk. Make yourself scarce for a few minutes, princess,” Stark turned to us and waved his hands. My mouth dropped open in protest. “You too, Annie. I want this to be a surprise.”

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing, and grabbed Fury’s coffee cup.

“Coffee, sir?” I asked. Fury scratched his forehead and rose to head out of my office. I refilled his coffee cup and handed it to him. I walked into Erin’s office to see what she’d had hung up in her office. It was a Picasso. I stepped around her desk and got close to it.

“Jesus Christ, Erin, is that real?” I breathed.

“He says yes,” she replied. “It’s my favourite painting. How did he know?”

“Tony Stark has depths none of us realized, I think.” I shook my head. I heard him call my name from my office, and followed it back. He met me outside the door, covered my eyes, steered me into the room, and pointed me at my wall.

“Okay, are you ready?” He asked. There was a suspicious tone to his voice, and I could tell there was a prank at the heart of his generosity. He dropped his hands. I opened my eyes slowly and sighed.

“Seriously, Tony?” I laughed. “Thank god it’s behind me, so I never have to look at it.” It was a huge art-deco style Iron Man poster.

“I told you there was a profound lack of me in your scrapbook,” he teased.

“So Erin got a Picasso. And I got an Iron Man poster?” I snorted. He pointed at the side wall of my office. I had been so confounded by the Iron Man poster that I hadn’t seen the smaller painting that had been mounted there. I didn’t even realize I was moving, I walked over to it so quickly.

“That’s not possibly the real one,” I gasped, trying to stop myself from touching the painting, in case Tony Stark truly was stupid enough to put Starry Night in my office.

“It is not the real one. But I suspected you would be a Van Gogh fan,” he shrugged.

“I am.”

“Then turn around,” he said. I spun to face the other wall. There were sunflowers on it. Van Gogh must have painted a dozen sunflower paintings in his life. I made my way to it slowly and felt myself get lightheaded.

“No. Fucking. Way. This one is real, isn’t it?” I just stared.

“That one is,” he confirmed. I reached back for my chair and pulled it under me, sitting down heavily.

“Why?”

“Because sometimes life sucks. And sometimes you need to be reminded that there’s beauty all around us. And because Pepper keeps buying all this goddamn art and I have no fucking clue what to do with it. So because you amuse me, and very little these days makes me happy, I’m sharing my collection,” he shrugged.

“What’s the catch?” I demanded. He laughed.

“No catch, sunshine. Just don’t let this place get blown up, okay?” He smirked.

“Unfortunately, Tony, I have no control over that. But if I does blow, I’ll try to grab those sunflowers on the way out,” I promised. “I mean, if you aren’t already here to save me.”

“Should I embed a GPS tracker in your arm?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Keep you safe all the time? JARVIS could keep an eye on you for me. Let me know when you need saving.”

“Now you’re getting creepy.” I rose and started walking toward the door. “It’s been lovely, but the business day is almost over, and I have some loose ends to tie up with Director Fury.”

Stark followed me to the front of the office.

“You and Pepper would get along well. You and your boyfriend should come by for dinner sometime,” he shook my hand. I smiled blandly.

“Perhaps.” I obviously couldn’t accept the offer, but I appreciated the clarity of it. He was no longer hitting on me, but treating me with the respect I’d suspected he’d always had for women.

“You don’t think your boyfriend would like me, do you? I can behave. I can tone myself down.” He narrowed his eyes in thought. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried not to laugh.

“Tony Stark, it is not in your nature to tone down. And I’m sure my boyfriend would eventually develop a grudging respect for you. Maybe. But I don’t think now is the time to test that. Everything is still very raw here, and he’s very busy with the aftermath of the attack,” I explained.

“Oh, dating within the ranks. Is that even allowed?” Stark teased.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark.” I held the door open for him, and ushered him out. He was still talking about something as I pulled the door shut again and walked away.

“Did she just dismiss me?” I heard him ask the painting-hanging guy. I shook my head and headed back to my office.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfic with OFC #Phil Coulson x OFC

[bountyofbeads]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/new-book-details-how-republican-leaders-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-trump/2019/07/10/be75eff8-a27d-11e9-b7b4-95e30869bd15_story.html?utm_term=.7f999429a23c#click=https://t.co/fHxF8o3RH3

Hi @PRyan: What an insightful thing to say. Here's my response: fuck you.

Paul Ryan reportedly blasts Trump in new book: "I'm telling you, he didn't know anything about government"

Paul Ryan: "We've gotten so numbed ... Not in government, but where we live our lives, we have a responsibility to try and rebuild. Don't call a woman a 'horse face.' Don't cheat on your wife. Don't cheat on anything. Be a good person. Set a good example."

New book details how Republican leaders learned to stop worrying and love Trump

By Josh Dawsey | Published July 11 at 6:00 AM | Washington Post | Posted July 11, 2019 |

Few people have more power in President Trump’s White House than Madeleine Westerhout, his executive assistant who controls access to the Oval Office, delivers the president’s marker-scribbled messages, sends orders to top military officials, prints emails and articles to show Trump, and seeks to keep a tight grip on his schedule.

 But she was not always a staunch supporter of the president. On election night, Westerhout, then a Republican National Committee aide, broke down crying, “inconsolable” over Trump winning the election.

 “To the amusement of her RNC peers, she was later chosen as the president’s executive assistant and now sits just outside the Oval Office,” writes Tim Alberta in “American Carnage,” a copy of which was obtained by The Washington Post ahead of its scheduled release Tuesday.

The book is filled with vivid details and on-the-record quotes from prominent Republican officials and includes an interview with Trump, who gleefully takes credit for the GOP’s shift while standing over the Oval Office desk and waving a poll that shows his approval numbers as soaring from his State of the Union.

“Can there be a question?” Trump says, smirking, when asked by Alberta if he is transitional or transformational. “Honestly, can there even be a question?”

 “The tea party still exists — except now it’s called Make America Great Again . . . The Republican Party was in big trouble. I brought the party back. The Republican Party is strong. The Republican Party is strong,” he says, before pausing, according to the book. “They’ve got to remain faithful. And loyal.��

The book details how many Republicans who once criticized Trump quickly changed their tune after his election, striking a devil’s bargain with a man Alberta describes in the book as behaving in a way that is dishonest, amoral, narcissistic and uninformed.

Westerhout now tells others she would do almost anything for Trump, and he calls her “my beautiful beauty.”

Sean Spicer, depicted in the book as trying to stack a South Carolina 2016 debate crowd against Trump and for Florida Sen. Marco Rubio (a charge Spicer calls “100 percent false”), is most famous for his pugilistic performances as White House press secretary. Reince Priebus, the RNC chairman who pushed for Trump to drop from the ticket before serving briefly as his chief of staff, now gives lucrative speeches deciphering the president to corporate bigwigs and serves as a Trump whisperer.

“These guys have all convinced themselves that to be successful and keep their jobs, they need to stand by Trump,” Rep. Justin Amash (Mich.), who recently left the GOPover his differences with Trump, said in an interview for the book. “But Trump won’t stand with them as soon as he doesn’t need them. He’s not loyal. They’re very loyal to Trump, but the second he thinks it’s to his advantage to throw someone under the bus, he’ll be happy to do it.”

Alberta dings Vice President Pence and others for seeking to defend Trump as an evangelical and humble man behind the scenes seeking to help his country — while casting aside their core convictions. He reports that the vice president’s wife, Karen Pence, did not want to appear in public with her husband after the “Access Hollywood” tape and that Pence disagreed with Trump on many key issues, from immigration to trade.

Now, Pence’s oldest friends joke about whether Trump has blackmail material on him.

“Pence’s talent for bootlicking — he was nicknamed ‘the Bobblehead’ by Republicans on Capitol Hill for his solemn nodding routine whenever Trump spoke — were at their most obscene during meetings at the White House,” Alberta writes.

Mick Mulvaney is cast as ambitious and clear-eyed about Trump before the election, telling fellow lawmakers that he read “The Art of the Deal” and could play to Trump’s ego while blocking his worst inclinations.

“We’re not going to let Donald Trump dismantle the Bill of Rights,” Mulvaney said to Alberta in 2016 when he was still a congressman from South Carolina. “For five and half years, every time we got to the floor and try to push back against an overreaching president, we get accused of being partisan at best and racist at worst. When we do it against a Republican president, maybe people will see it was a principled objection in the first place.” 

Now, as the president’s acting chief of staff, Mulvaney says to others that he “lets Trump be Trump.”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.), who basked in Trump’s glory during a large rally that helped him win a tight Texas race down the stretch of the 2018 midterms, once felt differently about the president.

“[Cruz] told confidantes there was ‘no way in hell’ he was prepared to subjugate himself to Trump in front of tens of millions of viewers,” Alberta writes. “ ‘History isn't kind to the man who holds Mussolini's jacket,’ Cruz told friends in 2016.” Even later, he bemoaned Trump for seeking to end birthright citizenship, saying he was trying to cost the party seats.

Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) told Alberta in June 2016 that he wishes the Republican-controlled Congress could have done things differently to “avoid creating this environment that was conducive to someone like Donald Trump becoming the nominee.” Jordan is now on Fox News defending Trump more than almost any other of the president’s allies.

Perhaps no one has had a more tortured relationship with the president than former House speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) — who went from wanting to abandon Trump after the release of the “Access Hollywood” tape to working to enact his agenda after the election all while doing his best to avoid commenting on his tweets and controversial statements.

Alberta reports that Trump berated Ryan over a 2018 spending bill because it didn’t include funding for his border wall but then said he would sign it if Ryan were to give him time to build suspense on Twitter. Ryan agreed and then publicly sang the president’s praises after the meeting.

When President Trump one Saturday in early 2017 accused the Obama administration of tapping his phones during the election, he called Chief of Staff Reince Priebus to ask his opinion of the predawn tweet.

A slumbering, confused Priebus opened his phone and then called Ryan, a fellow Wisconsinite and longtime ally. “Paul, what the hell is going on? What the hell is he talking about?”

Ryan woke up, read the tweet and burst into “maniacal, punch-drunk laughter.”

Now out of office and trading in his power suits for a blue vest, Ryan is back to critiquing Trump in unflattering terms in conversations with Alberta, who writes the former speaker could not stand the idea of another two years with the president and saw retirement as the “escape hatch,” in Alberta’s words.

“We’ve gotten so numbed by it all,” Ryan says. “Not in government, but where we live our lives, we have a responsibility to try and rebuild. Don’t call a woman a ‘horse face.’ Don’t cheat on your wife. Don’t cheat on anything. Be a good person. Set a good example.”

Ryan depicts Trump as uneducated about the government.

“I told myself I gotta have a relationship with this guy to help him get his mind right,” Ryan recalls. “Because, I’m telling you, he didn’t know anything about government . . . I wanted to scold him all the time.”

Ryan says he sees the presidency getting worse, with Trump determined to govern and campaign on his terms, rejecting calls from other Republicans to moderate his message in 2020.

“Those of us around him really helped to stop him from making bad decisions. All the time,” Ryan says. “We helped him make much better decisions, which were contrary to kind of what his knee-jerk reaction was. Now I think he’s making some of these knee-jerk reactions.”

In Alberta’s telling, Trump calls Ryan a “f---ing Boy Scout.”

Alberta traces the ascent of Trump to the final stretch of the George W. Bush presidency and describes an elitist, bloated Republican Party that had won elections by minimizing differences with Democrats, but accomplishing little for the working class and embracing more liberal immigration plans, unpopular wars and financial bailouts.

The first chapter explains, in detail, how the rise of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, beloved by the base but detested by the establishment, presaged Trump and how Barack Obama brought out the “worst” in many of the so-called forgotten voters — and how many in the GOP did not see it all coming. “Republicans were blissfully ignorant of the discontent simmering below the surface,” he writes.

He recounts a scene where Bush, while meeting with advisers in his second term, said he was worried about protectionism, isolationism and nativism. “These isms,” Bush told his team, “are going to eat us alive.” He recounts Bush even asking conservative radio hosts in a 2008 meeting to “go easy on the new guy,” referring to his successor, Barack Obama, because he was worried the “isms” would drive the opposition to Obama.

The book also takes a more favorable view than many others on the Trump presidency, saying he has “accomplished more for Republicans than any individual in three decades.” Alberta quotes religious leaders such as Tony Perkins and conservatives who praise Trump and say they have more access and sway than ever. He explains how some of the president’s critics help him with false attacks and comments that are seen as elitist and sneering toward much of the country.

“Nobody gave them hope,” Trump says of his supporters. “I gave them hope.”

At his core, Alberta depicts Trump as a transactional, cynical and cunning person, who understands what his supporters want by consuming large amounts of media and watching how Republicans failed in the past. In Alberta’s telling, Trump offers perks to gain support, threatens foes with the wrath of his supporters and makes cold, narcissistic calculations to keep power.

“Those f---ing evangelicals,” Trump says in a meeting with GOP lawmakers, according to the book, smiling and shaking his head. In Trump’s mind, Alberta writes, he would “give them the policies and the access to authority that they longed for. In return they would stand behind him unwaveringly.”

Standing before the group of religious leaders in 2018, Trump said of Christianity, “ ‘I owe so much to it in so many ways.’ He then proceeded to explain that he wouldn’t be standing before them without it — not because of how the faith shaped his life or informed his worldview, but ‘because the Evangelical vote was mostly gotten by me.’ The attendees walked out of the room in a daze.”

He reports that Trump pressured the head of the Iowa GOP in 2016 to invalidate the results after he lost the caucus.

In November 2016, Henry McMaster, then South Carolina’s lieutenant governor, told Trump he wanted to be governor of the state — after being the first statewide official to endorse Trump for president. “That’s it?” Trump replied. “Well that should be easy. You’re already the lieutenant governor!”

McMaster explained that it was not so easy — and that he could only become governor if Nikki Haley were not around. “Within days, seemingly out of left field, Trump announced Haley as his pick for ambassador to the United Nations.”

In 2016, Trump described why then-New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie could not become attorney general.

“Because that guy would prosecute my own kids and not think twice about it,” Trump told campaign chairman Paul Manafort, according to the book.

Trump is regularly depicted as far more interested in campaigning than governing. During one dinner in 2017, Trump asked others a startling question, Alberta writes.

“Has any president besides Franklin Roosevelt done anything big after their first term?” he said.

Trump also makes clear how much he enjoys the campaign trail.

Worried he may miss a rally in South Carolina, he yells at the Air Force One pilots to land a plane in a monsoon-like rain after they circled for an hour, swearing that he could land the plane.

After a 2018 rally in Missouri where Trump soaked in the adulation of the crowd, he screams into the night: “I f---ing love this job!”

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