#just wanna say a big thanks to the people in maggie's server for helping me out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cuthian · 3 years

Text

Unfinished Business

Hi everyone!

Welcome to this little prequel to Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure.

In this, we'll see how Alex and Reggie ended up messing around for so long, why they kept messing around and how they dealt with the changes in their lives as they happened.

Thanks to everyone on the JatP discord server for being my soundboard when I needed one ;)

I have NO clue how long it'll take me to write the second part of this, and I sincerely apologise if it takes me a few weeks - it very well might, since Uni is kicking my butt.

Love Annaelle

Unfinished Business

“You and I will Always Be Unfinished Business.”

— unknown author

PART ONE

DECEMBER 1991

ALEX

See, Alex… Alex was fine with the breakup.

He was. It’d been his idea too—he and Luke were much better off as friends, as bandmates, than they were as boyfriends—but… well, Alex had been in love with Luke, brief as it might’ve been, and he found it harder than he had thought he would to see Luke flirting with someone else.

“Hey,” Reggie said, popping up beside him with two bottles of soda in his hand, watching Alex twirl his sticks restlessly between his fingers. “You okay?”

He handed one of the bottles he was holding to Alex and it wasn’t until Alex had taken a few sips that he realized Reggie had somehow conned him out of his drumsticks, which had now taken up residence in Reggie’s back pocket. “I’m fine,” he said belatedly, but even he could tell that it was unconvincing at best, and Reggie frowned at him.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Reggie told him, eyes wide and his expression sincere. “Can’t be easy, what with Luke…” he glanced over his shoulder to their best friend, who seemed to be doing his best to get intimately acquainted with the girl’s tonsils.

“Just,” Reggie sighed. “If you need something, I’m here, okay?” He looked to the side, where Bobby was trying—and failing—to impress the bartender, probably to score a beer of some kind. “Bobby too.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed, sagging back against the stage. “Just… I don’t want this to affect us. The band. I agreed with the breakup, I still agree with it, I just…” he shrugged helplessly and Reggie nudged their shoulders together lightly, and brief as the contact was, it did make him feel better.

“People say it takes a while to get over your first girlfriend,” Reggie said sympathetically. “I’m sure that’s true for boyfriends too. But I’m sure there’ll be others.” He grinned bright and happy and Alex was kind of helpless to smile back. “You’re awesome, bro. Everyone else’s gonna see that too.”

Alex’s cheeks flushed, but he smiled too.

“Thanks, Reg.” He leaned sideways a little to press their shoulders together. “You’re a good friend.”

“Always the tone of surprise,” Reggie chuckled, but he smiled too.

---------------

MARCH 1992

Alex sat cross-legged on Reggie’s bed, flipping through one of his comic books as Reggie tried to convince his six-year-old sister to get dressed for her ballet class.

“Mags,” Reggie pleaded, “Come on, you love dancing.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Maggie whined, flopping onto the floor dramatically, kicking her legs out so Reggie couldn’t drag her leotard up her legs anyway, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the scene.

They’d come over to Reggie’s house to do homework, because ever since he’d come out to his parents, they’d been weird about him having friends over, and as soon as they’d walked in the door, Reggie’s mom—her pupils dilated so much that it couldn’t be healthy—had shoved Maggie at them, telling Reggie to keep her occupied until she was picked up for ballet class.

Alex didn’t mind.

He loved hanging out with Reggie’s baby sister—they all did, even Bobby, though he sometimes grumped about it—and even their homework deadline didn’t really bother him enough to be resentful about it. Reggie, however, seemed a lot more put out by it than he usually was and that, combined with his squirrely, snappish behavior the rest of the week made Alex sure that there was something bothering his friend, and he planned on finding out what it was.

Originally, Luke was supposed to be here too, because no one was as good at wheedling stuff out of Reggie as Luke was, but his parents had grounded him after staying out past his curfew with his newest girlfriend—Alex vaguely wondered how long this one would stick around.

“Okay,” he sighed when Maggie full-on wailed as Reggie wrestled her into her leotards. “Okay, let’s try this a different way.”

He got up from the bed and kneeled on the floor in front of Maggie. “Hey kid,” he said, shooting a wink at Reggie, “Why don’t you wanna go to ballet?” He pouted and said, “If you don’t go, who’s gonna teach me all the dances?”

Maggie stopped kicking her legs and looked at Alex with wide, teary green eyes that were just like Reggie’s. “You’re gonna dance too?”

“Well,” Alex said conspiratorially, leaning towards her a little, pretending to keep Reggie out, even though he knew Reggie could still hear them perfectly well, “I would love to learn how to dance, but I’m not allowed to go to the classes anymore, ‘cause I’m too big.”

Maggie gasped theatrically, and Alex made sure to keep his expression solemn as he nodded. “So,” he said. “If you can go to the class and then teach me all the moves, I’ll be able to dance with you.”

Maggie nodded at him with wide eyes. “Okay, Alex!”

She then turned to her brother again and said, “Reggie, you have to do my hair!”

Reggie exhaled shakily but smiled at her anyway. “Yeah, okay, Mags. Go get your brush.”

Maggie ran from the room, chattering at a loud volume about all the things she was going to teach Alex as soon as she came home from class. Alex leaned back on his heels and looked at Reggie, who was still staring out into the hallway. “Are you okay?” Alex asked quietly, resting his hand on Reggie’s shoulder.

Reggie looked back at him, eyes wide, and Alex could see him considering to lie.

“You can tell me anything,” he said immediately. “Now, or later, or in three weeks or a year. Anything.”

Alarmingly, Reggie’s eyes became glassy with unshed tears for a second before he blinked hard and swallowed. “Yeah, okay.” He turned away from Alex, and all Alex wanted to do was hug his friend to make whatever was bothering him go away. “Can we talk about it later?” he then asked hoarsely, still not quite looking at Alex. “When Maggie’s—”

“Yeah, of course,” Alex nodded, just as Maggie skidded back into the room clutching her sparkly blue hairbrush and glittery butterfly scrunchies.

They spent the next half hour trying to get Maggie’s hair into a knot-free, neat bun that had an appropriate number of butterflies—apparently, the correct number of butterflies was all of them—before the doorbell rang and Maggie ran downstairs with her bag slung around her shoulder, screaming goodbye at them and reminding Alex she would be teaching him the moves she learned today before the door slammed shut behind her.

Four minutes later, Reggie’s mom shouted, “I’m going out. There’s money on the counter for pizza. Make sure to give your sister some,” and the door slammed shut again.

Alex looked at Reggie in concern, because as soon as the door slammed shut, he seemed to shrink in on himself, and Jesus—Alex really wanted to know what was going on. “Reg,” he tried, but Reggie just shook his head and got to his feet, starting to get his school books from his backpack without looking at Alex, and he was worried now.

“Reggie,” he sighed, getting to his feet slowly. Reggie stayed at his desk, but he’d stopped moving, and when Alex brushed his hand against his arm, he exhaled in a shuddering gasp.

“What if I like boys too?” Reggie suddenly blurted, turning to look at Alex with wide, terrified eyes. “I’m not gay—I’m not, because I love girls, but I—” he looked around a little wildly and shrugged helplessly, “There’s—I—sometimes I look at Lu—at guys and I wonder what it’d be like to—”

Alex stared at Reggie, mouth hanging open just a little, because he wasn’t—he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I don’t know if I want to kiss another guy,” Reggie said desperately, “But then sometimes it’s all I can think about, but then I still can’t stop staring at the cheerleaders, or I still get blown away when Claire Johnson wears those really short shorts, you know, so it’s not—I don’t think I’m gay.” He looked up at Alex with a pleading expression and said, “How did you know?”

Alex heaved a sigh, running his hand through his hair as he sat down on Reggie’s bed heavily. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess… the same way you knew that you liked girls.”

“But I don’t know that anymore,” Reggie cried, throwing up his hands before he collapsed on the bed beside Alex. “How do you even know you wanna kiss a guy?”

Alex couldn’t quite take his eyes off of him, couldn’t focus really, and—

And later, Alex wouldn’t be able to justify, even to himself, what made him say it, but the words that came out of his mouth were, “I don’t know. Just kiss me, see how that feels.”

Reggie’s eyes snapped open and his jaw dropped, and Alex’s cheeks abruptly flushed.

“I mean, you don’t—” he stuttered.

“No, okay,” Reggie blurted, sitting up so abruptly he nearly smashed his face into Alex’s. They stared at each other, and Alex suddenly felt like the biggest asshole ever, because was this—was he taking advantage of Reggie? Alex had never really questioned his sexuality because he’d always kind of known that he liked boys a lot more than he liked girls.

He’d thought that maybe there was something wrong with him for a little while, but he’d never doubted.

“Reg,” he whispered, “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Reggie cut him off, leaning in so close Alex could feel the heat radiating from the other boy’s skin, his eyes fastened on Alex’s lips.

“Okay,” Alex breathed, and Reggie’s slim, strong fingers curled in the fabric of Alex’s shirt, drawing him closer so they shared a single breath before Reggie’s lips brushed across his.

Alex held his breath for a long, drawn-out moment before he remembered that he should probably kiss Reggie back, that that was actually what Reggie had asked for. It was… it was a really simple, almost sweet kiss—their lips pressed together chastely and Reggie's lips were really soft and tasted like the apple he’d eaten earlier, and Alex kind of wanted to press harder, hold him tighter, but he didn’t dare to because he didn’t know what Reggie needed or even wanted—or even if that were something Alex himself wanted.

They kissed chastely for an indeterminable time, before Reggie leant back, smiling lightly.

“So,” Alex choked, cheeks burning with heat when Reggie chuckled. “Boys too?”

Reggie nodded and smiled a bright smile. “Definitely boys too.”

--------------

MAY 1992

Alex had grown used to, over the years, leaving his bedroom window open just a crack so either or both of his best friends could crawl in after intense fights with their parents. There was a conveniently placed tree just outside his window that both Luke and Reggie had utilized several times to climb up into Alex’s room when they just needed to get away for a little while.

He’d woken up to find one or both of them in his room—even in his bed—dozens of times over the years and he was so used to it that he barely even stirred anymore when he heard someone crawl into the window, tiptoe into the room and drop a backpack.

There was a sudden thump and a muffled curse, and Alex, his eyes still mostly shut, raised his head from his pillow just enough to slur, “Mrgi?”

“Yeah,” Reggie whispered back, “Go back to sleep, it’s just me.”

“Mmkay,” Alex hummed and let Reggie shove him over a little so he could fit into the bed with him, settling against his best friend more comfortably.

He fell asleep again immediately.

When he woke up the next morning, Reggie was still there and they were lying very nearly nose to nose, sharing Alex’s single pillow—and with how often his friends crashed with him, he really should get another pillow. Because they were lying so close together, it took Alex a minute to notice the discoloration around Reggie’s eye and the faint trace of blood in one of his nostrils.

“Reggie,” he whispered, devastated to see him hurt like this again, reaching out to touch the bruised skin lightly, but Reggie caught his hand before he could make contact.

“It was my fault,” Reggie choked. “I got in their way. I should’ve stayed out of it.”

Alex dropped his hand, resting it on Reggie’s bicep instead, rubbing his thumb across the soft skin there. “It’s never your fault, Reg,” he said sternly. “It’s on them, not on you.”

Reggie looked away. “Maybe.”

Alex’s heart twisted painfully and he hated seeing his friend like this. He’d always hated seeing Reggie—sweet, cheerful, bubbly Reggie, who somehow always managed to make Alex and the others’ bad days better just by being there—so put down by the shitty stuff that his parents did.

He hated it more when Reggie showed up with bruises.

It happened rarely—very rarely—but it had happened before.

“You deserve so much better,” Alex told Reggie quietly. “I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe me. And Luke and Bobby too.”

Reggie looked back at him and smiled weakly, and it felt like the most natural thing he’d ever done to bridge that tiny gap between them and press his lips to Reggie’s. He felt, rather than heard, Reggie’s surprised little inhale before the other boy relaxed and kissed back, shuffling just that little bit closer and resting his hand on Alex’s cheek.

“Okay?” Alex whispered when they broke apart to breathe.

Reggie looked at him, green eyes wide and surprised, and then smiled, slowly. “Yeah. Okay.” He was quiet for a second and then said, “I mean, it was way better last time, without the morning breath—” and then laughed hysterically as Alex hit him in the face with the pillow.

--------------

MAY to NOVEMBER 1992

See, the thing… the thing was that it kind of kept happening.

They didn’t talk about it much – if at all – but Alex still kept finding himself secreted away in a corner, kissing the living daylights out of Reggie, or dancing up against the other boy after one of their gigs, or holding hands as they walked home or spooning when Reggie inevitably ran to his house during his parents’ intense arguments.

And the thing was… the thing was that it was nothing like what he’d had with Luke.

With Luke, he’d had butterflies in his stomach every time he looked at him, his insides turning into warm mush when they kissed and his cheeks heating in a blush whenever Luke held his hand and aimed that thousand-megawatt-smile at him.

He’d been proper in love with Luke.

Whatever it was that he and Reggie were doing, it didn’t feel like that.

It wasn’t any less meaningful because of that though.

Alex loved Reggie, as much as he’d ever loved Luke, but he was not in love with him – Reggie was his best friend and one of the most important people in his life, and no matter how much they fooled around, he didn’t think that could ever change.

--------------

JANUARY 1993

“I’m not in love with you,” Reggie told him dryly one afternoon when Luke was out on a date and Bobby went to work a shift at a nearby coffee bar, and he and Alex were alone in the studio. Alex, who had actually been enjoying just hanging out with his best friend without having much to do, looked up at Reggie, who’d been messing with his guitar, with a frown.

“I—” he blinked. “I know? I’m not in love with you either.”

Reggie’s expression cleared, and he grinned widely. “Oh, good. That would’ve been weird.”

Alex snorted a laugh. “Really? We’ve been messing around for months, but me being in love with you would’ve been the weird part?”

Reggie wrinkled his nose and shrugged dramatically. “Well, I mean, it took you and Luke forever to act normal around each other again after you dated and I don’t want that to happen to us, you know.” He plucked at the strings of his bass restlessly, pouting just a tiny bit.

Alex smiled tightly and looked down.

He couldn’t deny he had worried about that too the first time Reggie had kissed him, or the first time he’d kissed Reggie, or the time after that, when it’d become clear that this was something they did now.

“I guess,” Alex sighed, “we’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Reggie nodded vigorously and then carefully settled down his guitar before he moved over to Alex and straddled him. Alex, who hadn’t quite been expecting this, stared at him, his hands settling on Reggie’s waist automatically. “I,” Reggie said with a smug grin, “am gonna kiss you again.”

“Uh,” Alex tried, but before he could say anything, Reggie did exactly that. Alex gasped, because he really hadn’texpected this, but he didn’t resist as Reggie kissed him hungrily, deeply, their lips sliding together wetly before Alex remembered he could be an active participant and took control of the kiss, licking his way into Reggie’s mouth and—oh.

Sometimes he forgot why he and Reggie kept messing around.

Sometimes he forgot that they were great at this.

His hands and arms moved of their own accord, an arm slipping around Reggie’s waist, the other boy’s fingers tangling in his hair to keep him in place.

Kissing Reggie always kind of felt like an electric shock, like trying to contain a livewire, Alex’s skin burning and tingling where Reggie touched him, and a burning throb ignited somewhere deep in his stomach. He kissed Reggie back fiercely, sloppily even, but with everything he had, and anchored his fingers in his best friend’s belt loops as he held on for dear life.

Reggie groaned quietly against his lips, a deep, wanton sound that made something deep inside Alex’s stomach clench. It felt like a slow fire burning its way through his veins; as though Reggie had lit a fire somewhere deep inside of him that no one but him would be able to quench or satisfy.

And right then, Alex didn’t care anymore that Luke or Bobby could walk in on them, that they’d have to explain something they couldn’t even really explain to themselves—

But then Reggie moved again, tilting his head a little, and his tongue slid against Alex’s again—and it was too much, Alex couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think—he jerked his head back, gasping for breath as Reggie stared at him, his lips wet and a little swollen. “I don’t—” Alex choked, “I mean—I couldn’t breathe—”

“Oh,” Reggie said, and then, “Should we stop?”

Alex panted heavily, fingers clenching in Reggie’s shirt. “No,” he heard himself say. “No, I don’t want to stop.” Reggie grinned, delighted, and leaned in to kiss him again—a short, hard kiss—before he pulled back again and said, “Take off your shirt and lie down. I wanna try something.”

Alex flushed crimson. “Reg,” he choked, but Reggie shook his head and got to his feet.

“Nuh-uh,” he smirked. “Don’t protest. If I do this right, you’re gonna love it.”

Alex went to protest again, unsure of what Reggie had in mind, unsure if they should be doing this in the studio at all, but then Reggie kissed him again, and shit—

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a few risks every now and then.

When the kiss broke, Alex inhaled sharply and let Reggie divest him of his shirt and push him down onto his back, Reggie’s hands skimming down his chest, fingers slipping teasingly underneath the waistband of his pants. “See,” Reggie muttered, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, then his neck, and then his chest, “Luke talks a lot when he’s drunk. About girls, about kissing, about sex—”

Alex groaned when Reggie scraped his teeth on the sensitive skin just above his belly button.

“—and sometimes,” Reggie chuckled, “he talks about you. And now… Now I kind of wanna know—” he edged Alex’s underwear down just a little, “—if it really is that much fun.” He glanced up at Alex from beneath his eyelashes and Christ, he was gonna kill him—

And then Reggie ducked down and took Alex in his mouth and Alex’s brain kind of fizzed out for a while.

--------------

MARCH 1993

Playing a book club had been Luke’s idea.

It had not been his best, but it certainly wasn’t his worst idea either. The group of fifteen women and a few men, all their parents’ age, had been enthusiastic about the songs to the point that all four of them had wondered what kind of book club they’d wandered into, and they seemed pretty set on feeding them so much food they could roll out of the door.

Alex had been herded over to one of the armchairs once they’d finished their set, a plate filled with snacks pressed into his hands and Luke sitting on the armrest beside him, both of them staring, bemused, at Reggie.

Reggie, who had walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and walked back out with a girl their own age, flirting like his life depended on it—that in itself wasn’t so very unusual, but the thing was… the thing was that it was working. The girl, a pretty blonde with a bright grin and a Queen t-shirt, was hanging off his every word, and Alex was…

Alex was baffled.

She kept laughing at whatever Reggie said to her, putting her hand on his arm and flipping her hair over her shoulder and—and—

Reggie was not that funny.

He was an idiot and an amazing friend and a great songwriter—even if all he wrote were country songs—and a pretty damn good kisser, but—

But he was hardly ever funny on purpose.

“You’re seeing this, right?” Luke asked, sounding as baffled as Alex felt. “I’m not dreaming?”

Alex raised an eyebrow at his best friend and ex-boyfriend and snorted, “You dream about Reggie trying to pick up girls?”

Luke snorted a laugh and slapped at his shoulder before stuffing another cupcake in his mouth and leaning back to watch Reggie’s attempt at picking up a girl. Alex was… Alex was pretty sure he was supposed to feel jealous or annoyed or hurt or something—things one usually felt when watching the person they were intimately involved with flirt with someone else—but all he could think about was that he hoped it worked out for Reggie.

He looked for a few more minutes before he let Luke drag him into a conversation about their setlist and a song they’d been working on together. Luke was trying to convince Alex to take lead vocals on at least one verse, but Alex wasn’t thatconfident about his voice—not compared to Luke’s anyway.

Still, he let Luke chatter at him about it—maybe it would be cool to do lead vocals.

Reggie looked breathless and giddy by the time he collapsed on the other armrest of Alex’s chair, cheeks flushed and his hair messy. Alex and Luke turned to him as one, and Alex didn’t need to look over his shoulder to know that Luke would be smirking at Reggie with the exact same expression that Alex wore too. “You having fun?” Luke drawled, one hand on Alex’s shoulder as he leaned towards Reggie.

Reggie grinned and shrugged. “Hey, I can’t help being this irresistible.”

Alex snorted in disbelief, and Reggie’s mouth dropped open in exaggerated indignation. Before any of them could say anything though, Bobby appeared from wherever he’d been hiding, coming up behind Reggie and slinging an arm around his shoulder—Reggie nearly toppled over into Alex’s lap—crowing, “Holy shit, man. How’d you manage to land the hottest girl here?”

Reggie blushed and looked down, bashful all of a sudden, but when he looked up, he met Alex’s eye right on to offer him a small, apologetic smile, and…

And that was that.

Alex found he didn’t mind.

Much.

--------------

LATE AUGUST 1993

“I had sex with someone at Bible Camp,” Alex blurted without thinking, cutting across Luke’s story abruptly. They were in the studio, laying back on the shitty little bed they’d put together in the loft, in case Luke or Reggie or even Alex wanted to spend the night there, and Luke had been trying to tell him what he’d missed in the three weeks he’d been at camp, but Alex had been holding this in for what felt like weeks—though it had only been four days—and he needed to say it.

Luke looked at him with a stricken, astonished expression, and Alex swallowed thickly.

“I slept with someone at Bible Camp,” he repeated, slower and calmer, although his voice wavered just a little and tears burned in his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling, resolute in his decision not to look at Luke, because he wasn’t sure if he could keep talking if he’d look at him. “We’d been flirting since the first day, and I liked him, and he was such a good kisser and—”

The words felt like they were being torn from his lips rather than a voluntary admission, and he curled in on himself automatically, pressing his hand against his breastbone hard, wishing the physical discomfort of the gesture would be enough to make him forget.

It was naturally, not, as he had known it wouldn’t be.

“My parents signed me up for ‘specialized’ group activities this summer,” he continued resentfully. “Which was really just a very fancy way of saying they signed me up for conversion therapy, and—and he… I just—” Alex exhaled shakily and pressed his knuckles against his eyes until he saw little bursts of light erupting behind his closed eyelids.

His head felt heavy and his mind was tired and worn and he just wanted to sleep, but also he needed to get this off his chest and—

Suddenly Luke was kneeling upright beside him, one of his hands on Alex’s shoulder and the other on his thigh. “Start from the beginning,” Luke ordered him gently.

So Alex did.

“I guess I wanted to get back at them,” he admitted. “And I liked him and he liked me. So we just… I just…” he thumped his head back against the mattress. “I don’t even know why I’m upset—it was… it was fine, we had fun, and then we home and—”

“Alex,” Luke whispered, before dragging his fingers through Alex’s hair soothingly.

Alex let out a shaky breath at the touch, rolling his head just a little to the left so his temple rested against Luke’s knee. They’d been so very careful around each other for years, since their break up, and Alex hadn’t realized how much he missed the affectionate touches.Physical touch had always been a sure-fire way to ground and steady him when he felt untethered and unstable and he’d just… he’d just missed the casual affection from Luke.

He squeezed his fingers when Luke slipped his between his own and rested their hands against his chest. He stared ahead blankly as he tried to form some semblance of coherent thought. He felt lighter, oddly, after getting it off his chest, but the knot in the pit of his stomach had not lessened at all, sitting uncomfortably, making his gut churn uneasily.

“I don’t know why I’m upset,” he repeated quietly, shamefully, because he’d… he’d wanted everything that they’d done and he’d enjoyed it too, but…

But…

Luke tugged on his hair softly and smiled before replying, “You’re allowed to be upset when your first time doesn’t go the way you always thought it would.”

Alex looked up at Luke and swallowed thickly. “I guess,” he whispered, “I guess I still thought… after everything, I still thought it’d be you. And then it wasn’t.” Luke let out a small, hurt sound, and Alex shook his head immediately. “No, don’t, I—I’m not pining over you, I’m not in love with you… anymore. I guess I just… never adjusted that expectation.”

It was true—he’d realised he was over Luke quite a while ago. It’d taken him a while to get used to that revelation too, and even longer to decide whether he hated being over Luke more than he had hated having a broken heart.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said, even though there wasn’t anything he should be sorry for.

“Don’t be,” Alex told him seriously. “I got over you a long time ago. Maybe I should’ve waited for someone else, you know? Or maybe it’s just my brain trying to overcomplicate matters because I didn’t stop to think once while we—”

Luke smirked, and Alex felt his cheeks flush crimson. “I’m gonna stop talking now,” he groaned as Luke laughed, reaching out to slap at Luke’s knee reproachfully, but all Luke did was chuckle and flop down beside—and half on top of—him again.

They sat in silence for a while longer, piled together in one big tangle of limbs, passing a bottle of soda back and forth as they stared at the ceiling, Luke humming under his breath quietly.

Alex was just about nodding off, head lolling onto Luke’s shoulder, when the door suddenly slammed open, and they both jumped, limbs flailing as they nearly tumbled off of the loft. “What the hell, bro?” Luke bellowed as he untangled himself from Alex, glaring at the figure that had appeared in the door and was now looking up at them with wide eyes and parted lips and—

Oh. Reggie.

Reggie looked terrible.

His hair was soaked with—with—

Alex couldn’t tell what it was, but it looked far from pleasant, and his eyes were rimmed with red and he was far paler than healthy.

“Reg?”

Luke was already scurrying down the ladder, and Alex followed immediately. Reggie had been doing pretty good, these past few months, ever since he’d met Ella—the girl he’d met at the book club gig—and started dating her. Even his parents’ constant fighting hadn’t seemed to bother him as much.

“Hey, Reggie,” Alex said, as soon as they reached Reggie, who was still standing in the doorway, almost like he hadn’t really registered they were talking to him. “what happened?”

Reggie’s eyes flitted from him to Luke and back again, and he was wearing an unreadable expression that was wholly unlike him, and Alex had no idea what to make of it. “I—,” Reggie finally said, voice even and void of emotions, “I told Ella that I—that I like boys too. She broke up with me.”

There was a short, painfully awkward silence, in which Luke looked stunned and Alex tried to think of something to say before Luke cleared his throat loudly and said, “Well, that’s her loss, bro.”

Reggie looked up at him with teary eyes. “She threw her milkshake at me. And she said—she said that I couldn’t like both, so that I—obviously I was gay and I shouldn’t have led her on.” He looked on the verge of tears as he said, “I didn’t mean to—I didn’t think I was, I swear.”

And Alex hadn’t had any particular feeling towards Ella before, but he hated her now, and he could tell Luke felt the same.

“Shit, Reg,” Alex said. “You know you didn’t. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Yeah, bro,” Luke piped in, reaching out to grab Reggie’s shoulder to shake him gently. “I like both too, remember?” He shot Reggie one of those warm, gorgeous smiles that Alex had once fallen in love with, that still made him feel better when they were directed at him—and that surely had the same effect on Reggie, who was smiling weakly now.

“She still broke up with me,” he murmured dejectedly.

Alex didn’t have the heart to say anything sarcastic this time and just slung an arm around Reggie, hauling him in for a tight hug, because he could tell that what Reggie needed was someone to show him he was still wanted. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on,” he whispered as Reggie’s arms slowly came up to hug him back, and Luke pressed close on Reggie’s other side.

“We love you, Reg,” Luke said firmly.

He propped his chin up on Reggie’s shoulder and shot Alex a small smile that Alex returned wryly.

They’d be okay.

--------------

OCTOBER 1993 (WEDNESDAY)

“I don’t think he’s doing okay,” Alex told Luke in an undertone, glancing over at Reggie, who was talking to their English teacher with an apologetic grimace—he’d forgotten his essay at home in his rush to get to school in time. In fact, he’d only been on time at all this week because Alex had managed to get a secondhand car a few weeks ago and had been picking him up every morning.

“Yeah,” Luke sighed, glancing over at their friend too. “Yeah, I don’t think he is either.”

Since his breakup with Ella a month and a half ago, Reggie had been more subdued in everything they did—he’d stopped slipping his country songs into Luke’s notebook, he hadn’t brought Maggie over to their rehearsals in nearly three weeks and he hadn’t climbed into Luke or Alex’s window in over a month. He looked constantly exhausted and Alex was sure that if he, Luke and Bobby hadn’t taken to buying double lunches and prodding Reggie into having their leftovers, he wouldn’t have eaten anything at school either.

Bobby, who’d been listening quietly, added, “Not much we can do though, is there?”

“I might be able to,” Alex said slowly, turning to look at his other two friends slowly. “My parents are going to the Hamptons for a week starting Friday. Since I’m no longer welcome,” he spat the word resentfully, still pissed at his parents and extended family for being such bigoted assholes, “I’ll have the house to myself. Maybe we can all hole up there for a few days. Get Reggie out of his parents’ house for a while. He can even bring Maggie, we’ve got the spare room.”

“That’s a great idea,” Luke crowed happily, grabbing at his shoulder and shaking him. “It can be like a band retreat!”

Bobby sighed, and Alex wanted to frown at him even before the other boy said, “I don’t wanna spoil things, guys, but there’s no way my parents are gonna be cool with me spending an entire school week with my bandmates. Plus I got three shifts this week, and Luke… I thought you were trying to patch things up with your parents. How’re they gonna take you running off for a whole week?”

Luke sighed heavily and Alex frowned.

“Well, what if you guys come over starting Friday night?” Alex suggested, because he still wanted to get Reggie away from his parents—away from the constant fighting. “We can just do the weekend.”

“That works,” Bobby shrugged.

Luke was biting his lower lip and frowning, but he nodded eventually. “Yeah, I can probably swing that.” He glanced over at Reggie and offered, “Do you want me to convince him?”

Alex shook his head. “Nah, we’ve got social studies together later. I’ll talk to him then.”

Luke nodded and reluctantly retreated to his seat when the teacher finally managed to shake Reggie, who drooped back to his seat with hunched shoulders, and Christ, Alex just wanted to hug him.

He turned his attention to their teacher though, resolving to corner Reggie and talk to him later.

--------------

OCTOBER 1993 (FRIDAY)

In the end, Reggie had barely required any convincing at all.

That in itself told Alex that the fighting at Reggie’s parents’ place had to be extremely bad. When he asked about Maggie, Reggie revealed that Maggie had been spending the night with different friends each time because Reggie had called up their parents to tell them their mother was sick and they didn’t want to risk Maggie catching it.

Alex hated that Reggie needed to take on that kind of responsibility but found it admirable too.

Eventually, Alex bade his parents goodbye on Friday evening, ignoring just how coolly they treated them, and waited for Reggie and the others to show up. While they wouldn’t be staying the whole weekend—or the rest of the week—like Reggie, Luke and Bobby had both admitted they could use some quality band time that wasn’t spent rehearsing, and had convinced their parents to let them spend Friday and Saturday together.

Reggie showed up exactly twenty-three minutes after Alex’s parents left, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and the bags under his eyes darker and more pronounced than they’d been the previous day, but grinning so brightly that Alex couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hey,” he said, stepping back to let Reggie in.

“Hi,” Reggie said, still smiling brightly, waiting until Alex had shut the front door before he walked right up to Alex, dropping his bag unceremonious to the floor and curling his hand around the back of Alex’s neck. Alex barely had a chance to blink before Reggie leaned up onto his toes just a little and kissed him soundly on the lips.

They hadn’t done this in months, not since before Reggie and Ella had started dating, but it was still so very easy to kiss Reggie back and sink into it. He curled his fingers in Reggie’s hair and let Reggie tug him closer by his belt loops until they were pressed together entirely.

Slowly, somewhat reluctantly, he leaned back, although Reggie kept his fingers hooked in his belt loops so Alex couldn’t retreat very far. Reggie looked up at him, green eyes wide, and swallowed thickly. “Okay?” he whispered softly, hopefully.

Alex looked at him intently, tried to think rationally about this, because while they’d done this before dozens of times, Reggie clearly wasn’t doing okay, and Alex didn’t want Reggie to end up doing anything he’d regret later on.

There was, however, no regret anywhere in Reggie’s expression and… and they were eighteen years old, Reggie was his own person, and Alex trusted him.

He trusted him to set his boundaries.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, leaning their foreheads together. “Okay.”

--------

OCTOBER 1993 (SUNDAY)

It’d been nearly three a.m. by the time Luke and Bobby had gone home the previous night and almost four a.m. by the time he and Reggie had stopped talking—and kissing, there had been kissing too—long enough to go to bed themselves.

Unfortunately, Alex’s brain was programmed so that he woke up around eight a.m. at the latest, no matter how late it’d been when he went to sleep, and so here he was.

He guzzled down his coffee, leaning heavily on the counter as he tried to boot up his brain enough to decide what to have for breakfast. It was way more difficult than it reasonably should be.

“You look like you’re thinking way too hard for this time of morning.”

Alex looked up from his cup to find Reggie leaning against the low wall separating the kitchen from the living room in his pajamas, his hair spiked up in gravity defying angles, but the bags under his eyes less pronounced than they’d been on Friday already.

“I was trying to figure out breakfast,” Alex croaked, straightening up a little more.

Reggie yawned and padded into the kitchen, settling on one of the high chairs at the island, blinking lazily. “Are there cornflakes?” He asked.

Alex yawned too. “Probably,” he shrugged, turning to open one of the cupboards, staring into it for a beat too long before he located the box of Coco Puffs. When he turned back, triumphant, the box in his hand, Reggie’s expression had gone from sleepy and barely focused to contemplative and serious, and Alex was so unused to seeing such seriousness on Reggie that he immediately went on alert, nearly dropping the box.

“Reg? You okay?”

Reggie nodded slowly, leaning his chin on his hand as he stared at Alex. “I wanna have sex with you,” he said casually, and Alex did drop the box of cereal then.

“Shit,” Alex breathed, looking down at the mess on the floor before looking back up at Reggie with wide eyes, cheeks burning with what he was sure was a very dark blush, desperately trying to decide which minor disaster to deal with first. The Coco Puffs crunched slightly under his heel when he moved though, and he heaved a sigh before turning to retrieve the dustpan from the cupboard under the sink.

By the time he’d turned back, Reggie had picked up the box of Coco Puffs and was trying—and failing—to contain the spread of Coco Puffs throughout the kitchen.

“You know you can say ‘no’, right?” Reggie said timidly when Alex started sweeping up the spilled cornflakes, looking shyly up at Alex through his eyelashes. “I won’t be mad or anything, I know it’s—” he fell silent and the knot in Alex’s stomach eased off a little.

“Reg,” he sighed, setting down the dustpan and reaching out to rest his hand on Reggie’s arm. “I just—I was surprised. And… you’ve always said you only wanted to sleep with someone when they meant something to you. I don’t want you to do anything you regret.” He swallowed thickly and looked away. “Take it from someone who should’ve waited a little longer.”

He didn’t quite dare to look back up at his best friend, instead busying himself with collecting the final stray Coco Puffs and dropping them onto the dustpan.

“Alex,” Reggie whispered, nudging his fingers against Alex’s jaw until he had to look up. Reggie’s expression was devastatingly earnest and somewhat baffled. “Alex, you’re one of the most important people in my life,” Reggie said seriously. “You’re my best friend. I trust you. You’re never not going to mean something to me. How could I ever regret that?”

And Alex… Alex couldn’t say no to that—but he couldn’t just say yes either.

He got to his feet and emptied the dustpan in the trash before he turned back to Reggie. “It’s not,” he started slowly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the kitchen island, facing Reggie, “that I don’t want to. But… Reg, I want you to be sure.”

Reggie bit down on his lip and purposefully walked up to Alex, taking his face in his hands and pressing their lips together firmly. Alex melted a little, because Reggie was good at this and he could feel Reggie smile against his lips as he wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck. “Just turn off your brain for once,” Reggie told him in a low voice as soon as he’d leaned back, eyes dark and heavy lidded. “If I don’t want to, I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed. “Yeah, okay.”

Reggie grinned and then kissed him again, rougher and more passionate and Alex sank into it, because this was… God, being with Reggie was so easy. The next time Reggie pulled away, they were both breathing hard, and Reggie’s fingers were clenched in his hair and Alex was grasping at the back of Reggie’s shirt. “Yeah?” Reggie asked again.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah.”

And Reggie laughed, relieved and happy, before he leaned in and kissed him again.

--------------

“Is it go—”

Alex groaned loudly and dropped his head forward to rest against Reggie’s shoulder.

“Reg,” he sighed, “I swear to God, if your next words were going to be ‘is it gonna fit’, I will stop and I will kick you.”

Reggie cackled, a high-pitched sound that abruptly turned into a moan when Alex scraped his teeth over his collarbone in retaliation.

-------------

After, when they were breathless and sweaty, both of them on their backs in Alex’s bed, one of Reggie’s legs slung across Alex’s, the sheets tangled around their feet and their clothes scattered randomly on the floor between the kitchen and Alex’s bedroom, Reggie turned his head towards Alex with a smug, satisfied grin and said, “I told you that this was a great idea.”

Alex chuckled breathlessly and threw a hand up over his head, shaking his head in exasperation.

He was vaguely surprised, actually, that the sense of dread that he’d felt when he’d slept with Mike at Bible Camp wasn’t making an appearance now, but then… it made sense too. It was like Reggie had said earlier—they were such important people in each other’s lives, there was no way Alex would look back on this and regret sharing it with Reggie.

“Yeah,” he finally admitted. “You have your moments.”

-------------

FEBRUARY 1994

Luke sat on the couch, playing a lighthearted, easy tune on his guitar as Alex let Maggie guide him around by the hand. She’d been showing him the steps to all the dances she’d learned in her dance classes enthusiastically, as she had been doing for years—it’d become a tradition, by now, for Reggie to pick up Maggie on Wednesday after dance classes and bring her over to the studio, where Alex would entertain her by letting her teach him the ballet moves she was taught.

Luke and Reggie usually ended up playing songs for them, and Bobby would either sulk about band time being spent with Reggie’s little sister or join them and make up songs for Maggie.

Today, Bobby had to work until five though, and Reggie was napping up on the loft, because when he’d turned up with Maggie he’d looked so tired Alex and Luke were both worried he was gonna fall asleep where he stood. They’d ganged up on him and bullied him into taking a nap, and had resolved to keep Maggie occupied for as long as Reggie needed to catch up on some sleep.

He hadn’t been spending nights with Luke or Alex as often anymore, had cited the need to be home to take care of Maggie as the reason why, but Alex suspected that something else was going on too.

He’d tried to ask Reggie about it when they were alone too, however rare those moments were, but Reggie had become increasingly good at diverting Alex’s attention—and Alex wanted to believe that Reggie would come to him or Luke or even Bobby if something was really wrong.

“Alex,” Maggie tugged on his shirt and frowned at him reproachfully. “You’re not paying attention.”

“Yeah, Alex,” Luke chuckled from his spot on the couch. “Pay attention.”

Alex flipped him off before turning back to Maggie, who was pouting at him. “I’m sorry, Mags,” he said sincerely. “What was the next move?”

“A pirouette,” Maggie insisted, pushing at his hip. “You’ve already done that one.”

“Of course I have,” Alex grinned, straightening up and spinning in a circle. “Like that, Lady Margaret?” He asked teasingly, winking at her as Luke laughed.

Maggie wrinkled her nose. “My name’s Maggie, Alex. And you were doing it wrong,” she said bossily, shoving at him lightly. Alex grinned, but let Maggie move him around as she liked, twirling and turning at her command as Luke laughed and tugged on his guitar strings to produce one of the many songs he and Reggie had written for Maggie over the years.

When Maggie had tired herself out, she flopped dramatically on the couch beside Luke and demanded he show her how to play the guitar. She’d already had drumming lessons with Alex last week—while she was definitely enthusiastic, all they’d really accomplished was teaching her how to be very loud—and she seemed determined to learn every instrument the boys knew.

Luke only grinned before moving the guitar over onto Maggie’s lap and carefully positioning her hands on the chords as he explained how to pluck the strings and how to move her fingers.

Alex couldn’t help but smile at the sight—they did look adorable, Luke with a wide grin and Maggie with a tiny furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands—before he checked his watch. He glanced up to the loft, where he assumed Reggie was still passed out cold, and then back down at his watch.

He didn’t think Reggie’s parents would even notice if either of their kids didn’t show up, but he didn’t want Reggie to get in trouble for keeping Maggie out too late either.

When he looked up again, Luke caught his eye and Alex could tell the same thought had occurred to Luke. He helped Maggie settle comfortably on the couch with the guitar before he got up and approached Alex. “Do we wake him up?” he said in a low voice, glancing up at the loft.

Alex heaved a sigh. “I really don’t want to.” He glanced towards Maggie, who was still happily plucking on the guitar strings, before returning his gaze to Luke. “You’ve noticed, right? He’s been off, lately. I thought it was getting better, but—”

“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “Yeah, I noticed.” He crossed his arms over his chest and chewed on his lower lip. “He won’t talk to me either, it’s driving me nuts.” He glanced back up at the loft, then at Maggie and then finally back at Alex. “I can walk Maggie home. Can you stay here with him? My mom’s been on my case about school and staying out, I can’t—”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “Yeah, no worries, I’ll stick around.”

Luke smiled tightly and clasped his shoulder before he turned back to Maggie and hustled her into packing up her things into the sparkling purple and blue backpack they’d all gotten her for her last birthday. When Luke had wrangled her into putting her shoes and coat back on, she ran over to Alex and threw her arms around his torso.

“Bye Alex,” she squeaked, and Alex couldn’t help but grin.

God, he loves this kid.

“Bye Mags,” he grinned, running a hand through her hair soothingly. “See you next week, ‘kay?”

“Yes,” Maggie said cheerfully. “I’ll have new steps to teach you.” She squeezed her arms around him one more time before she let go and turned to Luke, grabbing the guitarist’s hand. Luke grinned at her before he looked back at Alex, raising his eyebrows in silent question.

You got this?

Alex nodded lightly. He knew Luke didn’t know just how close he and Reggie were, he knew that they probably should’ve told him about whatever the hell it was that they were doing a long time ago, but… but it’d been going on for so long that it felt weirder to bring it up now than to not say anything.

Luke exhaled and then smiled. “Okay,” he said. “okay, let’s go, squirt.”

Alex grinned at him and Maggie as they walked out, closing the door behind them. He waited for their voices to fade away before he sighed, kicked off his shoes and climbed up to the loft.

Reggie was sprawled out on his stomach in the middle of the bed they’d built themselves with a multitude of pillows and blankets and a shitty little mattress, face buried in his pillow and the blankets wrapped around his legs. He was snoring lightly, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his best friend sleeping soundly for the first time in God knew how long.

He climbed into the bed too, laying back against one of the pillows next to Reggie and closed his eyes.

Reggie wasn’t the only one dealing with a… tense situation at home. Alex knew his parents were waiting for an opportunity to kick him out, waiting for a reason they could do so without embarrassing themselves in front of their church friends, because God forbid it became common knowledge that they had a gay son.

He expected he had a few more months at most—they’d likely expect him out as soon as he had his high school diploma in hand.

He didn’t really mind.

He was tired of pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

It took him a few moments to realize that Reggie had stopped snoring and another second to notice that the other boy was stirring beside him. “Hey,” he said quietly when Reggie’s eyes—barely visible behind his messy hair—blinked open slowly.

“Hi,” Reggie breathed. “Where’s Maggie?”

“Luke walked her home,” Alex explained, rolling onto his side so he was facing Reggie. “We didn’t wanna wake you up. You looked like you needed the rest.”

Reggie blinked again and then whispered, “Thanks.”

They lay in silence for a little longer before Reggie huffed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. The conflicted, confused expression had returned as soon as he woke up properly, and Alex hated seeing the expression on Reggie’s face.

“Reg,” he sighed. “What’s going on? Are your parents—”

“No,” Reggie shook his head. “No, not… not more than usual.”

Alex frowned and reached out to rest his hand on Reggie’s arm gently. “Then what is it? We can all tell something’s bothering you, Reggie. We wanna help.”

Reggie snorted a derisive laugh, a sound entirely unlike him, and shook off Alex’s hand. “Not with this you don’t. You especially, Alex, trust me.” Alex blinked at him in shock for a second before he sat up, eyeing Reggie contemplatively.

“Reg, come on,” he cajoled. “You know there isn’t anything you can do that’d push me away.”

Reggie shook his head again. “You say that now.”

“And I mean it,” Alex insisted. “Reggie—”

“I’m in love with Luke.”

Reggie sat up abruptly, looking wild and upset as he said it, and something in Alex’s chest twisted painfully. He wasn’t sure if it was because Reggie just confessed to being in love with the only person Alex had ever been in love with or because he’d been hoping, somewhere deep down, that Reggie would’ve said “I’m in love with you,” instead.

He wasn’t even sure if that’s what he wanted.

But.

It would’ve been easier, wouldn’t it, if they’d just be in love with each other?

Why couldn’t things just be easy, for once?

When he looked back at Reggie, the other boy was staring at him with wide, watery green eyes, and it didn’t matter how Alex felt about this. “Reg,” he sighed. “I’m not gonna hate you for falling in love with Luke.” He managed a smile and admitted, “Out of everyone, I absolutely understand how easy it is to fall in love with that dumbass.”

Reggie exhaled shakily, relieved, and then threw himself in Alex’s arms.

Alex folded his arms around him and held on tight—he wasn’t sure what to say to make Reggie feel better about this, because while he had experience in getting over Luke, he wasn’t sure if that’s what Reggie wanted at all, or if he’d try to talk to Luke about it.

Either way, Alex was going to make sure he was there for Reggie.

Whatever he needed.

--------------

I also sketched Alex and Reggie kissing (the first time after Reggie and Ella break up). Check it out here.

--------------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT) or HERE (UB) on AO3 :D

#Unfinished Business #Bambat #AlexReggie #Ruke #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #Lisa writes #jatp

9 notes · View notes