#jwk

[carnivorousdevil]

#jwk

[in54n3v1b35]

I hate this feeling. I’m so uncomfortable in My own skin…

and I’ve developed coping mechanisms that make Me feel like the slightest discomfort or negativity in any type of relationship or friendship is automatically My fault. I immediately step back in My mind to recount the recent exchanges to see what I did wrong. It’s so fucking exhausting and leaves Me feeling constantly drained and alone. I am My own burden, and knowing that makes Me anxious going into any interaction with anyone, and this anxious feeling is increased exponentially the more I value the person with whom that next interaction is. Then, as if that isn’t bad enough, My adhd kicks in causing Me to become hyper focused on every thought… analyzing each one to see what I could’ve done to prevent the discomfort or negativity. I become completely overwhelmed in My thoughts that even the most minuscule tasks become extremely difficult to complete. By the end of any given day, there’s a constant backlog of thoughts that each have to be evaluated, but I’m so fucking exhausted already…

But, I have another interaction… the most important interaction of all. I still need to see My babygirl, who has become the most important person in My life. she is My priority and I value this interaction more than anything, so become determined to make it happen. I push Myself to get cleaned and ready because I truly love this girl, so I’m not gonna show up covered with dirt and grease from earlier. I want to be presentable for her, so I push Myself to get ready amidst My mind being under full attack by the aforementioned thoughts and the other 6 people wanting to shower in the evening. I want to just push through it and get there at a reasonable time… I want that more than anything… but the thoughts are winning, and 3 people beat Me to the shower. By the time I get to My most prized interaction, I’m an hour or more later than I had planned, which makes her feel like anything but a priority to Me. At this time, I wasn’t aware of this process, so I feel shame and disappointment in Myself for, yet again, being later than I planned. she tries to be understanding, but as this becomes a trend, she grows tired of feeling like she isn’t valued in this relationship. I’m now more overwhelmed with even more thoughts as to why she isn’t happy with Me in addition to the other thoughts unprocessed in My mind, so I have no way to understand why I do this, much less attempt to explain it to her. The backlog of thoughts disrupted my sleep pattern to the point that I was up for days until I would crash from the exhaustion… causing Me to miss opportunities we had planned, causing her to feel even lower than before.

Over time, I sat in complete and utter agony as I had a front row seat to see the love fading from her eyes. I resorted to old habits like self harm to cope with the self hatred I felt growing inside of Me as I watched her distance herself from Me. I haven’t said much to her in the past few months because I didn’t understand what could cause Me to prioritize someone so highly, yet treat said person so poorly. I was so overwhelmed with shame, and felt I didn’t deserve her, so I said nothing as she further distanced herself. I tried occasionally to show her I care, but she didn’t want to see it anymore… she didn’t want to see Me anymore, and I couldn’t blame her. I understood why she didn’t want Me, and on some level, I agreed with her… why keep someone in your life who has proven to be nothing more than a constant disappointment?

I’m now more aware of what makes Me this way, but I still have no fucking clue how to fix Myself. I am writing this for Me because I need some kind of explanation as to how I could do this to someone so perfect to Me. I do hope she sees it, takes the time to read it, and see it as My best effort to apologize for making her feel so unloved while all the while feeling nothing but infinite love for her in My heart which is currently overflowing from My eyes. If you’re there and still reading this, know that I did and always will love you with all My heart despite what My actions have shown.

#jwk #babygirl #for Mine #you deserve so much better #i hate Myself for being this way

[paweligawel]

#Jwk

[4-g1v3-m3]

When we first started talking, things would go great for a while, then you would message Me “I can’t do this anymore” and go silent for a few days… this taught Me that you are guarded, but the love you have to give is worth the wait to get past your hesitation.

After all that’s happened, I still feel like you’re worth the effort to work through the things that hold us back, and that’s why I’m still here trying to show you that everyday. I have My own issues, and have a hard time getting past those at times, but you’re the most real thing I’ve ever known, and I can’t give up on you.

#jwk

[psych0ticcg]

#jwk

[l3tsg0p5ych0]

Wouldn’t this be so much better than hiding behind the cops and the haters? Stop bullshitting and let’s do this shit. Each day that passes is time wasted, and time is entirely too valuable to be wasted!

#jwk

[rainbyte]

Y'all I really like these mice KWKW

#byte's bites #making this one a separate post since i have another doodle page to add to it JWKS #steamboat willie #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #public domain #watercolor

[bwoahtastic]

Queued all the asks I had left for tomorrow morning but still have about 30 min to answer more. If you want an answer tomorrow morning, send them now xoxo

#my fav time of day is emptying my inbox and rambling before i go to sleep jwks

[gearedaesthetic]

Polish JWK (Commando Special Forces Group)

#poland #polish jwk #this fucks

[clangenthriftclan]

Drew some cats that I really like from blogs as a style test with the style I'm using for my moons, I might do more later ! Also check out these clangen blogs they're really cool

Stork by @fog-and-the-frost

Lavenderflow from @howl-clan

Goldrush from @castaway-clan

Sparrowkit from @a-dawn-of-ashes

Bleakpaw from @dawn-clan

Hope from @ivyclans-hope

(seperates here just in case: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VPczABzUs_GU-jWk-EYBDj5w4Ak6KhLZ?usp=sharing )

#clangen #warrior cats #fanart #ooc post #rfffanart

[carnivorousdevil]

I hope you feel better soon. Maybe a new squish will brighten your spirits.

#jwk

[in54n3v1b35]

Do you remember when you would look at her pictures on fb, and say things like…

“Ugh!”

“She’s so ugly.”

“I just don’t know what you saw in her.”

“At least Liz was pretty. I just don’t know what you were thinking.”

#jwk

[grvbymotylek7]

moje powody aby schudnąć?

bede piękna

mój chłopak będzie mógł brać mnie na ręce

bede szczesliwsza

kazdy bedzie mi mowil "zjedz jesteś taka chudziutka"

bede mogła ubierac sie jak tylko zechce

bede motylkiem,prawdziwym

każdy będzie zazdrościl tego jwk wyglądam

bedw nosić małe rozmiary

będę miala widoczne kości

bede miala dziure między udami i nie będę miała flabby arms

#chce byc lekka jak motylek #anorexi #bede motylkiem #motylki any #nie chce być gruba #blogi motylkowe #chce widziec swoje kosci #gruba swinia #eating disoder trigger warning #lekka jak motyl #az do kosci #gruba szmata #za gruba #grubaska #pragnę chudości #chude jest piękne #chudosc #chudość #chce schudnac #chce byc idealna #nie bede jesc #nie chce jesc #nie jestem glodna #@n0r3xia #@ana #@tw edd #blog #moja przyjaciółka ana #motylek any #motivation

[4-g1v3-m3]

The measure of a man is not in his mistakes, but in how he conducts himself in lieu of his mistakes.

#jwk #addiction #recovery #real not perfect

[67i203]

Hanamai Dango switches made with Durok/JWK molds

#photoset #technology #techcore #mechanical keyboard #plastic #switches #pink and green

[borntodie523]

czego ja się w sumie spodziewałam jak sam mówił ze okropnie przeszedł rozstanie ze swoją ex, ze była toksyczna ale teraz się przyjaźnią, opowiadał o niej choć nawet nie pytałam i mówił ze każda chwile z nią by wymienił na mnie i nawet podczas związku z nią myślał o mnie. Przecież to było łatwe do zauważenia ze yak samo może zrobić ze mną. O innej byłej nic praktyxznie nie mówił i widziałam, że się dla niego nie liczy. No i wyszło ze podczas związku ze mną cały czas myślał o niej i mnie przez nią zostawił. Zapalała mi się wyedu czerwona lampka ale stwierdziłam ze ufam mu i co on z tym zrobi to jego wybór. I w sumie może dobrze ze stało to się teraz, zasługuje na kogoś lepszego niż na kogoś kto mówi ze muszę wyjść od niego wcześniej bo on chce pogadać z przyjaciółka (wyedy wyznali sobie uczucia) i gdy ryczałam jwk odchodził bo coś przeczuwałam to on po prostu poszedł i przez kilka dni nic nie powiedział ttlko po to żeby pojsc ze mną na impreze i pisać tam z nią a później mnie wyruch4c i 5 minut po tym zerwac i błagać mnie żebyśmy zostali przyjaciolmi po 8 miesiącach zwiazkuxd To już nie były błędy tylko masa złych wyborów i nie chce być z człowiekiem który mnie tak potraktował. Po rozmowie z psycholog uświadomiłam sobie ze nigdy nie będę wiedzieć co się dzieje w głowie drugiej osoby i zaufanie jest ważne ale nie mogę zakładać ze dana osoba mnie nie zrani, nie mogę jej bezgranicznie ufać jeśli o to chodzi bo nigdy nie mam pewności. Mogę tylko ufać sobie i myśleć ,,okej mowisz mi tak i ci wierze ale niektórych rzeczy nie da się obiexac bo nigdy nie wiesz co się stanie i mam tego świadomość”. Nie mogę polegać tylko na obietnicach innych i oddawać się im w całości bo wyedy żadna cząstka mnie nie zostanie dla mnie