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from-izzy · 6 months

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you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character » TROPE/AU: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: 5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time.

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…"

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin.

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes.

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly.

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together.

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…"

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar.

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?”

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him.

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did.

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now.

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo.

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again.

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.”

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner.

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

68 notes · View notes

onomatopagu-et-cie · 7 months

Text

The Killing Vote (ep. 8 notes, part 1)

The Killing Vote (ep. 1-5 notes) The Killing Vote (ep. 6 & overall notes) The Killing Vote: more on Joohyun, Kwon Seokju & Kim Muchan The Killing Vote (ep. 7 notes) Discussion on symbolism with @mare-sanguis: hands, the ambidextrous angel and serpents (part. 1, part. 2)

I hope you had a nice week-end!!!!

I was fighting against my laptop (and on top of that, a nasty cold, my room feels like a fridge these days ;;): it had LOTS of problems with its ventilation last week (I have to come up with every little trick like stacking books under for it not to heat up, if someone has tips I’m all ears 8D)! It’s accompanied me for 8+ years so this little guy has sometimes trouble to load internet pages, to say nothing of taking notes and editing screenshots, it took even longer than usual to post, and I wanted to post it at least before the new episode aired haha ;;

I think I’m competing against myself for the word count each time lmao (TKV really is some rabbit hole material, I’m even considering buying a copy of the script if it’s available for sale one day haha), it got even longer, so once again respect for reading through all this 🫡 I have to cut it in parts, so I’ll list what each part is about below!

I think the three parts will be uploaded today!

I wanted to write some notes on criminology and TKV here but I think I’ll leave it for another post/reblog of this one, as it’s not that relevant to the episode compared to the many others in this post and it got already too long _ (´ཀ`」 ∠)_

Tldr: what is everyone cooking in this drama???? I’m losing my marbles, there are too many hints thrown in all directions, they all do some big 4D chess and you don’t expect the audience to overthink every single detail 8D???

Have a nice end of the week ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ 🍂🎃

(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 8!!!!)

Part 1

General impressions on the episode Official character profiles Lee Minsu’s tattoo Three pictures missing in Kwon Seokju’s house Choi Jinsu, Min Jiyoung and Lee Minsu « If I were Gaetal… » and a triangulation orchestrated by Kwon Seokju and Lee Minsu

Part 2

Jihoon and Gaetal Jihoon’s name Joohyun, Kim Muchan, Kwon Seokju and the Killing Vote « The moment you perfectly understand… » The Gaetal Kwon Seokju’s departure

Part 3

Joohyun and Gaetal More on Joohyun’s scar and expressions Joomin and the ‘firecracker smell’ Kim Muchan and Gaetal What’s still not addressed (yet) The ‘witness’, chronology of some key events, where the story is going

♦ General impressions on the episode

WHAT AN EPISODE OOF!!!! It keeps getting nerve-wracking haha

All the cast was amazing to watch, but Kim Kwon’s performance as LMS… w o a h, he was in the audience’s seat with us, entertained by the chaos he created, a true clown (even his mother was nonplussed haha) 8D Im Jiyeon who played opposite him as Joohyun dfhjvbfdhvdjhbdfbfvd (and let her live all the way through, no more death flags please ;;)

I have no words whenever there’s a scene involving the MCs’ quatuor or trio (KSJ, KMC, Joohyun & LMS) 🫠🔥

Jihoon was also really great, it was nice to finally see him in action and looking more open/expressive with his feelings!!!!

I loved the scene where Joohyun visited KMC’s home! It was a funny call-back to when KMC witnessed the mess on her apartment’s floor lmao

We finally got a smiling Muchan but………….. at what cost ⚰️

In any case, this cast is really the embodiment of the Spiderman meme lmao

Everybody is going to jail ayyyyyyyyyyy Ngl but the way the drama unfolds makes me think everybody in the cast will be truly involved in TKV in one way or another, since the beginning, the middle or in the end haha

According to this kr tweet (I have yet to find these interviews!), Park Haejin (KMC’s actor) hinted KMC isn’t ‘at first’ Gaetal.

Because there’s not enough context in the tweet, it could also be about KSJ (because it’d align with what we learned) but I believe it’s about KMC since the user implores the scriptwriter not to kill off KSJ — and I agree with them 1000000000% haha — ➾ it’d then make sense KMC isn’t ‘at first’ Gaetal.

Park Sungwoong (KSJ’s actor) said his character won’t assume the role of the villain in the story………. Interesting maneuver me says haha

Oh and also I found in the most random way the nightclub where KMC busted the drug scene (ep. 7) in this MV (I was looking for the new album of Whee In, a Mamamoo member, and curiosity got the better of me haha)!

It’s too bad I couldn’t get the name of the set but you can see the statue a little clearer, so I took a screenshot:

♦ The Killing Vote’s official character profiles

I didn’t get to read it until now, but SBS uploaded character profiles for the characters in TKV’s section.

Every profile is worded in a way that makes the audience suspicious of the character (a persistent, crazy, and competent lunatic, as Jodan said!), which is an interesting detail!

Here are some excerpts I found interesting to share:

→ Kim Muchan’s profile

On his relationship with KSJ: « KSJ, with whom he was close enough to call ‘hyung’. »

The profile clearly states he manipulated the evidence 8 years ago.

On his guilt and Narae's case: « Even to this day, there are countless sleepless nights where I still ruminate over my decision » ???? That’s what Gaetal said on their first broadcast in ep. 1: « It disturbs me so much that I can’t even fall asleep. »

The page also says he’s now determined to go after the culprit he failed to arrest then because of the wrong choices he made in the past AND the one who truly pulls the strings of TKV (배후 means rear/back/behind but can also mean by ext. mastermind ; this does not necessarily mean the 'true' Gaetal though mmmmh).

→ Joohyun’s profile

KMC and KSJ’s relationship captivates her. This isn’t even subtle, you can’t make that sh*t up lmao:

« 어떤 데이터보다 분석하기 어려운 김무찬과 권석주, 두 사람 사이의 묘한 긴장감이 그녀의 ‘촉’을 자극한다. » ‘The peculiar/intriguing tension in the relationship between KMC & KSJ, who prove to be more challenging to analyze than any other data, stimulates her ‘intuition/nose/sixth sense’.

She was admitted in the Cyber Bureau through special recruitment.

Because of the lack of evidence, the case of her family was closed as a simple drowsy driving and not DUI (and according to the drama, by a repeated drunk driver at that).

Her scar became the stigma reminding her of the injustice she suffered.

There was only one police officer (I wonder who that is… ?) who cared about her story and that’s why she decided to join the police.

Note: I believe the car crash happened in 2013, KMC was 27 at that time!

→ Choi Jinsu’s profile

See the point about CJS & Min Jiyoung below!

→ Jodan’s profile

It says he participated in various hacking defense competitions held by KISA, the NPA and the NIS.

He was a white hacker (even though he stated in the drama he was once arrested so it means it wasn't done within a legitimate context eg. contract mmmmh) and the profile states he sleeps during the day and like KMC, stays awake and works all night.

→ Lee Minsu’s profile

He actually had an artificial defibrillator inserted because suffers from a congenital heart disease (‘선천적 심장질환’).

The quote introducing his character does an interesting wordplay:

« 정의에는 수많은 갈래가 있고, 세상 모두가 인정하는 정의란 不在(부재)하다. » ‘Justice carries within itself various branches, and there’s no such thing as justice universally agreed on in the world.’

부재하다 means ‘be absent/missing’ ; because of denasalization, the ᄆ at the beginning of 무죄 (‘innocence’, part of KSJ’s catchphrase ‘devils deemed innocent’/‘무죄의 악마들’) might sound like a ㅂ, making the two words paronyms (ㅔ and ㅐ might sound similar in practice ; ㅚ and ㅐhave subtly nuanced pronunciations because the first one is a diphthong, but sometimes pronunciations overlap and are not kept distinct).

➾ This could be a fitting detail to convey the devils find innocence in that void/loopholes of the justice!

This also defines his character pretty well: every single moment of his life further encouraged him to gamble with others’ lives (eg. because of his mother’s excessive indulgence and his family’s lack of proper surveillance, punishment and care when it mattered). As in LMS’s notes, nothing altered the course of his life and everything snowballed. Note: I’m not saying it justifies/excuses his deeds of course, it only provides context and this dude definitely enjoys everything happening in his drama!

Interestingly, the Mu in Muchan is associated to the law (see the previous post for ep. 7!), AND it can also be written with the hanja 無 (무효 uses this hanja and means ‘invalidity/nullity’ ie. state of having no effect, often used about legal effects of a contract or provision for example), 无 & 毋 (없다 which can mean non-existent/lacking).

I said it in a previous post, but the Min in Minsu can be written with 泯 (망하다, be ruined/destroyed, used when JJW says No. 1 Fan ‘destroyed’ the person KSJ loved the most). The two characters are set as opposites.

→ Choi Dohee’s profile

Her introducing quote is also interesting:

« 인간을 지은 건 신이지만, 인간의 악을 재단하는 건 인간이야. » ’Humanity was God’s creation, but Evil is Humanity’s choice.’

Note: tricky to translate because 재단하다 means both judge (ie. make a decision by distinguishing between right and wrong) and cut out (ie. cut a material such as fabric/wood, etc. into a certain shape or size which is also visually fitting), which fits her character to a T since she deliberately manipulates facts to ‘reveal the truth more effectively with a provocative twist/seasoning to it.’ (eg. she deems her work with Joohyun as a win-win situation because both of their contribution were recognized in her eyes: she got awards, Joohyun was promoted).

Her character could parallel KMC’s reckless behavior too.

This aligns with the new episode and her overall behavior in the drama: « 그렇게 개탈과의 공생 관계를 만들기 위해 더욱 과감한 행보를 보이기 시작한다. » ‘This way, she begins to take bolder steps to create a symbiotic relationship with Gaetal.’ Note: 공생 means cooperation, but also mutualism and symbiosis.

→ Joomin’s profile

« I lack words whenever I think about my parents’ murderer who deftly escaped the net of the law in the past. It goes without saying that I too would choose ‘revenge’ over forgiveness. »

(I’m not even trying to think about the consequences if someone harmed Joohyun aaaaaaaaa)

→ Jihoon’s profile

He lost his parents at a young age and lives with his grandmother (where? Nobody seems to know given ep. 8).

Even though his smile is really beautiful, a shadow is always cast on his expression. He has no presence at all at school and willfully doesn’t mix with his peers (he’s an 아싸, something like an introvert in slang, it’s the abbreviation of the loanword ‘outsider’).

And according to the profile, he finds himself smiling before he knows it as he gets closer to the sisters my heart ;;;;;;;

→ Jihoon’s grandmother, Yang Hyejin

She struggles to shoulder all alone the painful story behind the death of Jihoon’s parents.

And gdi the picture they chose for KMC’s profile couldn’t be more red RED (like… TKV’s sign 8D), look in contrast with KSJ (they chose a picture of him wearing the blue prison uniform) & Joohyun (the background is white)!

♦ Lee Minsu’s tattoo

What’s on LMS’s tattoo? Besides the ‘My Daddy My Hero’, there seems to be some illustration/pattern on the top of the cross?

Because of the lighting in ep. 4, we couldn’t see it clearly:

(I’m tempted to say it looks like Gaetal’s mask: there’s some white figure/circle with two black dots inside!)

And this doesn’t seem like your average crucified Christ either!

♦ Three missing pictures at Kwon Seokju’s house

I don’t know if this will be relevant later, but when Joohyun checked KSJ’s house in the present, three frames on the wall were empty.

KSJ’s flashback of moments spent with his daughter (in ep. 6) shows they still had pictures in the past.

The drawing that was removed is not one of the two KSJ kept with him in prison, did someone else take it eg. Jihoon?

♦ Choi Jinsu, Min Jiyoung and Lee Minsu

I have a feeling Choi Jinsu was the one that was supposed to keep an eye on KMC.

In ep. 7, Min Jiyoung asked her assistant: « Keep an eye on KMC. Ask some of my family’s men to spy on him without the chairman finding out. »

In ep. 4, there was this exchange between CJS & KMC:

« — [BWT] is registered at the chairman of Samdo Steel’s address. You know his new wife is an assemblywoman, right? — I’m not interested in politics. »

Joohyun ruled him out of the list of suspects for Gaetal because he was a detective on the case even though he attended every trial and didn’t know KSJ personally (and we know all this doesn’t mean anything!)…

And in ep. 6 (the pictures below), a shot emphasized his expression (in KMC’s direction, no less ; he averted his gaze right after while swallowing even though it was too short for the shots to show it) at the mention of Min Jiyoung’s family running Seorae High School’s Foundation.

And he drops THIS banger ('He's always been a smart kid') as if he had personal knowledge about it (and it even made turn his team's heads) and he never finished his next sentence. KMC seems to have noticed that.

Note: by this moment in the drama we were shown Narae’s case and how he was by KMC’s side then, which gives us the perhaps mistaken impression he wanted to talk about Narae!

Choi Jinsu also said this to LMS when he was called as Jihoon’s guardian for an interview in ep. 6: « Given the severity of the case, we’re trying to keep this investigation as discreet as possible. When parents get involved, things often get more complicated. You know what I mean. »

Did his family also get tangled with Min Jiyoung’s somehow?

And we've got CJS exchanging glances with MJY in this episode's scene when they arrested LMS (the second set of pictures above!).

At the beginning of ep. 8, the drama also emphasized his reaction to LMS being caught on the CCTV at the funeral for BGC (more on that later).

And here’s some info we get from his official character profile:

— He has 20 years of experience in Violent Crimes (but he was never promoted while staying in KMC's team).

— He is surprisingly good at handling suspects’ interviews ie. he’s listening to their stories well and he’s a « genius » at building a rapport with them (yes, the drama always emphasized how Joohyun was to establish a rapport with KSJ but never brought up that detail about CJS, though he always sounds amicable with people he interviewed so far, which contrasts with KMC’s harsh behavior!).

— He ALWAYS (emphasis on always) uses with KMC the ‘good cop-bad cop’ strategy to progress in investigations.

— The character profile also highlights how he always follows KMC « wherever he goes » ; it also associates this expression to his character when it says he’s admirative of Muchan: « 무찬바라기 ». Note: it comes from the Korean word for sunflower, 해바라기: « when you add 바라기 at the end of a specific word, you mean that you admire something or try to follow that specific word like a sunflower that admires and tries to follow the sun. »

— Thanks to that (him following KMC all the time), police officer in every fiber of his being, he lately receives indifference/unfrendliness from his wife and child.

— For 8 years (after Narae’s case) he travelled with KMC around the country and went to great lengths to bring KMC back to the « central stage » (ie. probably hard-working to go up from the South to Seoul, which got KMC his bad reputation and also probably why CJS never got promoted according to his record when Jodan checked his background).

And this could explain a whole lot how:

He caught KMC at the forensics by night (because he perhaps followed him) in Narae's case ;

(a reach but) he insisted on KSJ murdering Narae's lead while coincidentally Min Jiyoung was trying to shift the attention off her son by uploading the video smearing KSJ’s reputation ;

This behavior that could naturally be explained because he’s also a father (so the case could’ve moved him viscerally) at first glance doesn’t align at all with how he usually works according to his character sheet nor with his sympathy for KMC (a previous scene expressly tells us CJS knew about KMC’s close relationship with KSJ, which was supposedly something a few knew about). Something might’ve made him change his habits.

He attended every single trial for KSJ’s case (and probably Narae’s) by KMC’s side while he’s not personally acquainted to KSJ (but the accused was related to Min Jiyoung) ;

BWT’s lawyer was probably made aware of the existence of the bunny plush (and KMC’s plan to fabricate evidence) through CJS and could take care of it in advance ;

For 8 years he continued to keep an eye on follow KMC after he was highly likely disciplined for this case (so that he doesn’t cause trouble for Min Jiyoung’s son nor her once more if we cross it with her discussion with her son). But it could also be out of guilt for KMC (if he’s involved in whatever is happening right now).

This scene in ep. 8 where he looked deeply disturbed by the camera footage displaying a person clad in black halting to hold their chest in pain (which LMS did in front of his mother once in ep. 5) and walked away. KMC also noticed and immediately called a colleague to look for a rope in plastic.

In ep. 2, Choi Jinsu randomly admitted to having not slept at all recently and wished to go home: « Let’s call it a night and head home. I haven’t been getting much sleep in the past 10 days. »

You would naturally believe it’s because of the special investigation on the Killing Vote, they must always stay on alert day and night and it must be really nerve-wracking. However he said so while taking a glance in KMC’s direction: has he perhaps tailed KMC for 10 days on Min Jiyoung/LMS’s orders? Mentioning 10 days is also kinda specific, unless he’s a man of details that always keeps track on time or has a specific date in mind. KMC also looked back in his direction.

In ep. 5, LMS bids goodbye to his mother in a hurry, at night: « Right. I have to be somewhere. I totally forgot. (…) I’ll see you later. » We don’t know where he went. ➾ If Choi Jinsu has something to do with this, does he report to him on KMC’s activities (which includes day and night since he works with him and follows him)?

Note: it must be indirectly, through someone else, that LMS (or MJY) gets his information, eg. Min Jiyoung, her assistant or the Commissioner, because CJS only recognized Lee Yunseong when he adopted his new identity (and face apparently) as Lee Minsu in ep. 2 (he went back to SK only a year ago!).

Did LMS then learn the extent of KSJ and KMC’s relationship through CJS … ?

In ep. 8, Choi Jinsu says he’ll stop by KMC’s at night after he learned he had the same dream again.

In any case, it’s not clear if CJS works for Min Jiyoung/LMS without trying to deceive them: he could go along with their plan to get around their vigilance and double-cross them with KMC.

He seems really admirative and caring for KMC, so things might be more complex.

(More on what CJS could possibly witness while keeping an eye on KMC in the upcoming points!)

♦ « If I were Gaetal… » and a triangulation orchestrated by Kwon Seokju and Lee Minsu

Definitely not missing those parallels between KMC and LMS:

This strongly feeds into the superposition of the two characters when it comes to KSJ and the subsequent indirect communication between the three: what is about LMS is also about KMC, and vice versa:

— What would be considered a ‘love letter’ in LMS’s point of view from KSJ, who was convinced KMC was Gaetal/No. 1 Fan all these years until recently, could be considered a ‘love letter’ to KMC in KSJ’s point of view.

It’s highlighted once again later in the episode with Joohyun’s comment:

Note: KMC is still withholding the extent of his relationship with KSJ to Joohyun!

— Wanting to see 'LMS' from KSJ’s point of view could mean he wanted to see KMC for this same reason. The end of the episode even emphasizes this line once again as KMC is thinking about the case at home and this specific sentence is played to KMC's surprise ;

— Also, KSJ’s words: « I wanted to see you because I wanted to say goodbye. There’s not much time left. (…) I wasted a long time in prison, because of one wrong decision. I realized too late that I didn’t have enough time to make up for that mistake. That is why I decided to meet you. »

Note: If KMC's wrong decision was to lead recklessly Narae's case as his character profile stated, KSJ's was BWT's murder (whether he regrets the act itself is another question, but at least he must be regretting murdering the wrong person).

Specifically sound addressed to KMC even though he’s looking at LMS, which leaves the latter perplexed (more on it below!). You also get this shot of KMC fully focused on KSJ when KSJ says these words:

The episode also concludes with KSJ’s evasion and KMC realizing he’s truly involved with Gaetal!

Was this 'lack of time' about KSJ’s imminent escape? Is this about something else (eg. his health, putting an end to KMC’s guilt by taking full responsibility, or something urgent about Narae’s case that’s about to be finished, like the statute of limitations for example?)?

The next part is puzzling (« I realized too late that I didn’t have enough time to make up for that mistake. »), like please explain good sir????

This is also a parallel to LMS’s conversation with his mother in ep. 5:

« — You know that detective, Kim Muchan. He’s a really funny guy. It seems impossible to kill him. He’s like a cockroach. (…) — You better stay away from those vermin. If he messes with you once again, I’ll kill him for real. How dare he try to get in my son’s way? (…) — Right. I have to be somewhere. I totally forgot. — Where are you going? You should quit school too [this line also emphasizes 이제, now]. You should get in shape first. Stop playing around. — This is the only time I can play around. »

Note: Will there be an upcoming surgery for his heart? Is his diagnosis getting worse/fatal these days, which is why his mother asks him to relax as much as possible?

— You could even say everything LMS wanted to be in KSJ’s eyes was what KMC was tacitly described as in ep. 3 ie. KSJ agreeing to the entirety of Joohyun’s description of ‘Gaetal’ corresponding with KMC:

Note: if you rewatch this scene, you can see KSJ react at the mention of a ‘fan’, then looking in KMC’s direction (who pointedly avoids eye contact by the way).

— All of this is happening when all the characters involved from both sides of the room know this meeting is staged for everyone to watch:

I loved that shot btw, KMC and Joohyun look like ghosts (perhaps privy to something we don’t know yet)!

-> KMC and Joohyun organized the meeting between the two so that they’d gain a confession from LMS ; unlike KMC and KSJ (and highly likely LMS too if he wiretapped them), Joohyun ignores the hidden meaning behind the ‘No. 1 Fan’. KMC was also gauging KSJ’s reactions (another sign he still couldn’t shake the bad feeling he had in the episode).

-> As for KSJ, dude was busy haha: He now has to face LMS’s fascination for him as he only did through letters until now (under the false impression it was KMC). He wanted to coax LMS into confessing he was No. 1 Fan in front of KMC & Joohyun (to shift the Gaetal suspicions off himself at the same time). Note: However, I think it’s likely he did that half-heartedly because he caught on that the suspicions came back and it’s not like he wouldn’t expect this meeting wouldn’t be revealing!

And whatever he wanted to communicate to KMC (and Joohyun) in cryptic ways!

This behavior triggered LMS’s reactions (see below!). It’s also interesting that LMS displayed strong emotions out loud while KSJ remained absolutely impassive with a frozen expression on the surface throughout most of their exchange (until he snapped).

-> Yes, even LMS becomes gradually aware of it: at first, he was wholeheartedly ecstatic at his undreamt of meeting with KSJ.

Look at this dude here living the Dream and twirling hair, you can see whole galaxies in his eyes lmao

But the elation sank once he saw the pleasure was not truly reciprocated by KSJ (I can’t believe I’m writing this lmao) and that’s from that point on he started to glance sideways to his left in the direction of the interrogation room’s glass panel ie. where KMC (and Joohyun) stands.

He did it whenever KMC might come to mind in his exchange with KSJ, which suggests he hinted at KMC in his answers:

1) « I enjoyed reading your replies too. » and a 'love letter'

After being accused by KSJ of being No. 1 Fan, LMS glanced in KMC’s direction and retorted ad hominem: « I enjoyed reading your replies too. I was worried you might hate me, but you showed me you completely understood me. I was worried you might hate me, but you showed me you completely understood me. It meant we were finally communicating properly, which reassured me. ».

He realized he was being used and decided to play with something he figured not even KMC would know the truth about: the letters. It could also be to show off to KMC he shared a correspondence with KSJ he was not privy to! He carries on that later with the 'love letter' and when he says « I felt like I was the only one putting effort into our relationship, so it wasn’t fun anymore. »

(More on the reference of the 'love letter' and what it possibly means at the end of Part 3!)

KSJ deflects LMS's accusation by stating he never wrote replies in the first place (the last pictures of the first column).

Which provokes LMS even more as he teasingly glances in KMC’s direction to deem them as ‘love letters’ (I’m so sorry it’s screenshot-heavy lmao, I just loved the acting here!!!!).

Notice how KSJ withdrew his hands from the desk (to put them underneath and fall back in his chair) broke contact/physically retreated as soon as LMS claimed these replies (love letters right lmao) were addressed to him:

Not to mention how LMS does the same later, when KSJ asks him if he’s Gaetal and LMS realizes the purpose of his arrestation (the camera also emphasizes the movement of his hands being dragged down along the table). It’s worth mentioning that LMS decides next to rile KSJ up by threatening KMC (more on it below!).

For what it’s worth, KMC, first leaning on the desk, adopted a similar posture once KSJ asked him if he meant what he said in ep. 7 (and you can see KSJ is clenching his jaw at the lack of a verbal answer).

2— « There’s not much time left? »

When KSJ says he wanted to meet LMS because there’s not much time left, LMS looks a little confounded and directs his gaze to the glass:

3— « Are you Gaetal? » and not No. 1 Fan

When KSJ asks if LMS is Gaetal, this bursts LMS’s bubble and he explodes in laughter as realization dawned on him: KSJ is not there for him.

4— « If I were Gaetal, who would be the target today? Don’t you want to know? »

LMS bitterly laughs to himself and decides now to taunt KSJ at the mere suggestion of harming KMC: he finally introduces KMC to their conversation even without having to name him, the (almost rhetorical) question is deliberately left open.

He even went out of his way to make a little detour and showingly drag his feet right in front of the glass (facing KMC & Joohyun) to get his point across. It’s the only moment KSJ looked not in control and troubled, and tried to gauge LMS.

And he loses it the moment LMS’s eyes train the slightest to the left:

5— « Ring, ring! »

And finally, when KMC stops KSJ, LMS regains his composure as he sees the former arrive and laughs at them when the vote is up (ngl the third to last picture would make great meme material out of context haha, it has the same vibes as that Real Housewives cat meme):

After this episode, you can better appreciate this scene in ep. 6 (first two pictures):

But at the same time, what KSJ says next becomes even more unclear, ep. 8 might add another layer to it (three next pictures):

— Is some part of his speech an act? His anger and regret sounded real, but he could’ve used them to redirect KMC’s (and everyone watching) suspicions off him.

— KSJ specifically says he wished KMC were Gaetal, not No. 1 Fan, if this detail will be relevant later.

— If he was honest, why would he wish for Gaetal when he’s supposedly Gaetal himself……………. ? Is he involved in the Killing Vote in a different way from Gaetal’s?

This scene between Joomin and KMC in ep. 4 can also be further appreciated (last two pictures).

That's all for the first part, part 2 is next!

#국민사형투표 #the killing vote #tkv #kdrama

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