#kimetsu no yaba x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jooeyoo · 1 year

Text

Full parts: Until death do us part

Pairing: Douma x femReader

Tags: mentions of blood, self mutilation, manipulation, kidnapping, obsession, gore, douma himself bffr.

Summary: He kidnaps you after finding you wounded, and keeps you around for his own amusement-until you can’t take it anymore.

“I told you, you weren’t going to leave. Ever”

Her breath hitched as she ran through the ruins of a town she once called home. It was unrecognizable, a distant memory that would still escape her as she grew older, a reminder not all things last. A reminder of life’s misery. The hem of her kimono ripped as she ran as fast as she could, her legs beginning to sore, her heartbeat irregular, the tears in her eyes clouding her vision through the tall ivory flames into the night sky. The heat of the air radiated onto every living creature, the smoke was intoxicating and caused her to suddenly stop as she grew victim to a coughing fit. Her lashes flickered, and shot wide at the sight of the blood all over her hands, and down her chest. That’s right...I had been..impaled

Her knees grew weak as she fell to the hard ground, the pain coming back to her now as she held onto the gaping wound. She spat as a pool of blood leaking out from the depths of her gut- she stared in horror. I’m going to die...I’m going to die in this god forsaken place

Her vision began to falter once more, blurred by the smoke and the antagonising feeling of pain in her stomach. Fatigue slowly began to creep onto her body, as the unavoidable darkness of the void crept into her vision of sight. Her limbs no longer felt her own.

All dreams and aspirations she had, gone

All the memories, pain, and happiness she had endured, had been reducing to nothing- to ash in just mere hours.

Everyone she knew..who had even survived..?

Did it really matter, she was going to die herself. She thought she was at peace with the idea of death, at peace with the idea that the world is never ending, never stopping, constantly evolving yet she couldn’t deny the pit that formed in her stomach. It was so much more uncomfortable than the pain she had now grown accustomed to. Her eyes shot back open, the pupils much more dilated- they shook at the very idea of dying. Where would she go? Would a God punish her for her sins, for her mistakes? Or embrace her, and tell her she did well? Or was there nothing at all, a void devoid of any joy or misery- simply nothingness. A place where no gods, or angels roamed- but only the darkness. Darkness

Her head snapped back behind her. The city had grown quiet, no screaming or yelling could be heard- no clanking of swords. Had the fight ended? Had those people succeeded in killing that monster? Or had it..won?

The question itself made her tremble with terror, she forced herself to her feet. She wouldn’t die like this- she wouldn’t allow it. But regardless of what she wanted, within mere moments of standing- she fell back down to her knees. Another pool of blood escaped her mouth, staining her lips.

I am going to die here

Her vision began to blur, as her head hit the ground.

At-least, I’d die with dignity

Her vision became black, her mind no longer conscious.

“Oh,..oh my” A cheerful tone crept up behind the girls unconscious body. The man’s looming presence shadowed over her, he held a human leg in one of his hands- his mouth stained with blood.

“It seems a lost little lamb escaped from the hoard..” The man tutted, a wide grin on his face that was supposed to mirror a friendly smile. “Though.” His voice suddenly became cold, blank, devoid of any emotion. He let the leg fall to the floor, with a thud. He leaned down to the girl, inspecting her face, and the wound in her stomach. “You’re almost dead.” The smile on his face, had evaporated within seconds- as did his cheerful tone. He tilted his head to the side, pondering.

“How did you..run all the way out here..with a wound like that..and with a small, weak..body like that..” The man slowly pulled a strand of hair away from the girls face, revealing his long nails. “How sad..for a girl like you to slowly die like this...such a beautiful face gone to waste as well! How despicable of my comrades!” He hummed with glee, that friendly face returning to the surface. Oh, how he could just eat her all up!

Though, he was full right now..but he couldn’t let her go to waste! Not such beauty, no! How cruel he’d be to let such a girl die in such a way, he’d only allow her to be devoured by him, savoured him, saved by him!

What to do? He tapped his head before a teethy grin emerged.

What would be so wrong, about a souvenir?

YN awoke with a gaping feeling in her stomach, as she looked down- she was met with bandages that had been carefully placed. Her mind was still foggy, her vision barely stable. Her throat felt dry, and sore. If she had died, this was certainly no better. She quickly stood to her feet, to inspect her new surroundings.

“Hello..?” She noticed she was no longer in the entertainment district but a room devoid of any actual furniture, apart from the futon she had awoken on,

- but decorated with various artworks of locus’s.

“Oh, you poor thing.” She jumped at the sudden voice that had appeared behind her.

A voice ridden with amicability and cheerfulness but there was also a hint of pity. As she turned, she felt her eyes grow wider as a enormous glooming presence struck her in very core. She was met with a man, who towered over her, with eyes like rainbows and platinum blonde hair. His hand slowly reached her shoulder, purple nails slightly digging into her shoulder- his grip was firm, but not painful- but it was freezing cold. It sent shivers down her spine.

“You awoke so quickly! I expected you to be out for longer..”

His smile grew wider as it hit her.

“..You’re..you’re a demon!” Fear struck her core, as she took a step back away from him, trying to balance her footing.

“Oh dear! You caught me!” Before she could even reply, a frightening whiff of wind passed her, as he stood now behind her once again. His body still, pressed against hers, his head peered down into the crane of her neck. “Afraid? That I’ll gobble you up? Or maybe I’ll toy with your body first! Tear it limb..from limb..” The amicability in his voice remained, yet his eyes had grown wider and more erratic. His smile seemed more creepy now, than it did friendly. YN stood still, paralysed like a deer looking into headlights, into death. Her body was frozen to the core until a pair of sharp teeth grazed just the surface of her neck which caused her to suddenly turn around.

“Why haven’t you..?”

The man paused for a moment, pondering in thought. His smile never faded.

“It’s better to savour ones food, don’t you think so? To relinquish one’s desire to simply savour it more..to appreciate the beauty in all things living, first.” He hummed.

An innate sense of danger filled her to her core

He’s a madman

“The beauty..of all thing’s living..? You mean you’re just going to toy with me until you’ve had your fun? You’re sick!” She spat out- until she realised the words she said, her eyes briefly widening in shock.

The demon stood there, for a moment he felt like laughing. “I didn’t think you’d be so resilient.. you..seemed so weak and frale! Oh how cute! I must have hit the jackpot!” His charismatic and cheerful aura beamed throughout the room clashing with YN’s who beamed of disgust.

“You mean to say..you’re not going to kill me..?” Her voice grew meek, quiet, confused, disgusted.

“Oh not yet! Anymore, atleast! You seem fun! I’m so bored these days, you see.” His voice peered to the side, as he looked her up and down causing her to take another step back. In retort, a small laugh escaped his mouth as he covered his smile with his hand.

“You seem to be in so much shock! Aren’t you relieved?”

“I’d rather kill myself now, then to be your last meal!” She screamed back at him, eyeing the door but before she could even take a step towards it- he had appeared before her.

“Why don’t we start over..?” He pretended to be upset, by her words- yet his eyes did not mirror the sentiment.

“My name is Dōma! What’s yours?” He beamed, as if her answer would be the most interesting thing he’d ever hear. Though, a silence grew beyond the two. Their eyes peering into one another. Dōma’s beamed with anticipation yet there was this..odd feeling to them..

Was it the colour of his eyes?

YN’s eyes were fierce, the fear long hidden within her now- as she had always been taught to do.

“It’s almost as if you’re trying to kill me with that look!

“I am.”

“..they say not to bite the hand that feeds you..I was the one to save you from that horrible wound” His voice grew cold, almost devoid of emotion.

“You shouldn’t have.” YN mirrored his tone.

“You shouldn’t say such things! You should appreciate life! Afterall, that’s all humans have..you all..inevitably die..” He closed the distance between the two, peering into her eyes, observing.

“I’d have preferred to live the miserable life I had lived then and dying from that horrible wound, than living within your presence to only be devoured by you.” She spat at him, though she couldn’t help but swallow the pool of saliva growing in her throat. No matter how hard she tried, his sheer aura sent shivers down her spine.

“A miserable life? You found no joy in your life..? How unfortunate” He mirrored a tone of pity

How strange he is

“Humans really are..pathetic things...aren’t they?” His face became completely devoid of any trace of emotion, she was taken aback by the expressionless look in his eye. As if she was peering into darkness itself.

“What…?”

“To understand the beauty of all things living, you must first peer into the darkness.. It’s there to help us understand it. Would life be beautiful if we never knew what sorrow and misery felt like?”

His face quickly changed back to his signature smile, he rested a hand on her head.

“Is this what you tell yourself as you indulge yourself in massacring people?”

She was taken aback by his laugh

“Oh, dear. I simply save them from a life they can no longer see the beauty in! Simply pathetic beings! Cant see what’s further than what’s in front of them”

“And you believe, you’re saving me from a life I ‘No longer see the beauty in’..? What about what I would like?” YN removed herself from his grasp.

His eyes beamed, curious. “What is it?”

“To leave, if you’re not going to kill me- I’m not staying.” She tried to usher him out of the way, by swatting her hand at him but he simply caught her wrist and pulled it back- which caused her to fall into his chest. His other hand quickly grasped her waist, firmly and sharply.

“I didn’t say you could leave”

Her eyes grew wider, peering into the redness of his shirt.

I can’t leave..?

My last moments are going to be toyed with by a demon that wears the face of a man

How ironic

In truth, YN had been one of the many young girls who worked in the entertainment district; having met a variety of men that left all types of memories that disgusted her to her core. This was not dying with dignity, but humiliation. Her mind froze for a moment, trying to find an ounce of something to hit the demon back with but she fell to silence. Perhaps if she bored him to death, he would kill her. Yet he did nothing, and simply stood there. Listening to her heartbeat that accelerated every growing moment- oh, how he wondered how that felt

To be so afraid, you freeze and your heart begins to beat out of your chest

Even if she tried to bore him to death, he’d find something to find interest in- she was eccentric! She was the opposite of what he thought her to be! How couldn’t he not want to know more?

Suddenly, Dōma reached out to YN’s chin, forcing her to look up at him.

“How about a game?”

“A game?”

“Stay here, until you die of old age!”

Where..was here?

“It’s not like you have anything else, anyone else..your town, gone- along with any familiars”

Her eyes widened, she had failed to realise the gravity of her situation the previous night- everything..was in flames

Her hand subconsciously touched her wound

His hand moved to the side of her cheek, caressing the skin.

“Besides, what life is it serving men?” He whispered, the smile never faltering.

“..So..serve a demon instead..” She scoffed

“No, you’d have free will.” He beamed with amusement

“At paradise faith!”

“How is this a game..you’re asking me to..live out my life..here..? Why.” She stared at him, with confusion

“Because you intrigue me; it’s not often I’m met with a human who knows what I am, who isn’t begging for mercy” His voice became a chilling cold tone.

“If I started, would you?" She didn't need to say more, for him to understand the question.

He didn’t, he never did no matter how much she begged. Months passed, and she was met with laughs, snorts, rolling of the eyes- no matter how much she cried and begged for him to just simply get it over with. He never did. During her ‘fits’ as he liked to call them, he’d simply sit down, rest his elbow on a surface with his head on his palm. His eyes always beamed with curiosity, excitement as she screamed, and tears ran down her face. As if this was a play for him to enjoy. Then he’d hold her shaking body and tell her everything would be okay, as if he wasn’t the problem. She tried to steal one of his golden fan’s once, to maybe slice her throat with it. She was met with a hand around her throat- and nothing more. She tried to insult him, hurt his pride, his weird cult- nothing worked. He’d dismiss her like a child having a fit. He’d often converse with her, force her to speak her mind on whatever subject he had chosen- which is why he found her intriguing. He was so sure, when she was lost in thought in his questions that she’d forget what he was, where she was- which was her beauty; her unique perspective of the world, of emotions. He slowly started to think he understood them, although devoid of them. He was so sure, she would be the key to helping him understand such a complex tool- he didn’t want her to leave his side.

Had it become obsession?

The way he would dismiss his followers, if she so beckoned- how he found no joy in his meals any more apart from her crude reactions to the blood. How he thought of her every waking moment of the day. How he pondered on her opinions, thought them over- found the beauty in her speech. She wouldn’t be salvaged forever if he devoured her, because her beauty was in her liveness, in what she’s lived, how she lives and how she speaks. He simply and utterly didn’t want to do it. He only ever wanted to feel her warm breath against his ice cold skin. That made him feel alive. If only she ever allowed him to show her how much he truly did appreciate her; if she’d devote herself to him entirely. But she just wouldn’t, and it captivated him more- she did not see him as a messenger of God. But he saw her as a sign from something above, although he knew, nothing was there. He would devote himself to her, if she allowed it. He sought her touch, yet her hate grew by the time and he was so oblivious to it. Why cant she love me?

She inspired him to be more, he didn’t want to revel in the slaughter anymore, he didn’t feel alive anymore in the cruelty- but his heart beat when she spoke. He had never listened so attentively to someone before, so closely. Was it love?

He’d need to ask her about that next

Dōma walked attentively down to YN’s room, curious as to what she might respond with. He was trying to formulate an idea in his head

How exciting

Until

He was absolutely stricken with horror as he opened the shoji, to be met with a gruesome sight.

Fresh blood stained the floods, as her body laid beside it. The blood quickly nauseated all of his other senses, the smell was so sweet to him.

“Oh, Oh dear”

She was still alive, but barely.

He approached her quickly, setting her head on his lap as he looked at what she had done to herself. A gaping wound in both of her wrists stared back at him- she had lost so, so much blood

Dōma’s heart skipped a beat, it only ever beat

..for her

And for what?

He stared at her, her eyes had shut, covered by her hair, her lips had grown pale and cold and the life within her skin slowly decreased. He could fear her heartbeat becoming slower, and her body becoming colder.

What an odd..sentiment

His hands would have shook, if he was capable of it.

He felt something, something alien to him but he couldn’t describe it no matter how hard he tried.

The second time..

Someone he endeared took their live

He wouldn’t allow this repetitive cycle to continue

A quick slash to his wrist caused a waterfall of blood to emerge- trickling down to her mouth.

He could only hope he would chose her.

Mere hours later, YN awoke in Dōma’s chambers. An insatiable hunger in her stomach almost brought her to puking. She couldn’t remember what had happened.. her name..? What was it ..? Where was she..?

“YN! I’m so glad you’re okay!” She was met with a familiar set of rainbow coloured eyes, who seemed to be genuinely happy.

She groaned, bringing her hand to her head- feeling an annoying headache form- which is when she realised.

The length of which her nails had grown, much sharper, much more predatory.

She stared back at Dōma, who watched attentively.

She suddenly remembered, all of the blood, all of the pain.

She suddenly jumped up from his futon, and pulled up the hems of the sleeves of her kimono- to reveal no cuts. The pit in her stomach grew even wider, but not from hunger- rage and hate.

She ran to the mirror, her kimono loosely falling down at the shoulders- as she stared back at a monster that was not herself. Her hair, had turned to such a white colour- and her eyes- predatory, those of a killer. She opened her mouth, to reveal the set of sharp canines that now housed her mouth. She gasped, before a large hand snaked itself around her waist. Dōma’s head rested in the nook of her neck. YN screamed. “How could you do this to me! I never asked for this! You’re so selfish that even when I decided to take my own life, by my own hands, by my own meanings. You interfere like the parasite that you are!” Her screaming only grew louder but he did not reply, he did not react. He simply held her body, as she tried to fight him off- but even now as a Demon, she was still weaker. “You’re a horrible void sucking monster! Let me go!” Her screaming had turned to cries, the tears had ran down her face, staining her now pale complexion. She thought herself a horrid monster- yet Dōma found her beauty to still be exquisite. Her knees threatened to fall down to the ground, he held her weak and limp body up as she scream cried into the air. He reached out to turn her, to face him- he held her face in his hands.

His signature smile reappeared but his eyes grew more intensely and bright than they ever did before.

“I told you, you weren’t going to leave. Ever”

part 2

Hate

It was such a complex emotion.

It was something a person felt at the very depth of their core, of their soul. But what is hate? If not accompanied by rage? And what is rage? If not accompanied by pain and sorrow? But pain and sorrow, couldn’t be felt without joy and joy couldn’t be felt without love.

All emotions, that the man that sat before her, was completely and utterly vacant of.

Dōma sat cross legged, his chin resting on his palm- as he always did. He sat there as if there was nothing wrong, as if he wasn’t covered in blood- as if she wasn’t either. As if, there weren’t various slashes and cuts in the fabric of his clothes, and likewise her.

What was hate, if there was no cruelty? No violence? No urge to kill them?

Would hate, not then be meaningless?

She would make him pay for what he did to her- even if he didn’t care, even if he didn’t flinch, even if he secretly liked the attention. It made her feel better, and that was enough- for now.

YN stood there, her hair had grown to an immense length and her complexion had only become paler. She resembled the devil that sat before her, now.

Her own divine punisher, how cruel. She certainly didn’t believe in a God now..

Her dress, a white colour to resemble her hair- a gift from the man she despised.

Riches wouldn’t buy her heart, she wasn’t sure she had one any more, but that only made her hate herself more; as each day passed- she became more like Dōma.

More cruel, more ravenous, more despicable.

Each time, she looked in the mirror- all she could see was the similar hair coloured that now nested in her roots, the similar void in her eyes and the similar porcelain complexion. But he adored it. He wouldn’t let her forget how beautiful he thought she was now, how they were the same now, how they’ll be together forever.

It took time, to brush her long hair, now. She’d sit in front of the mirror, tears prickling the corners of her eyes until he would appear out of the shadows. He’d snake his arm around her and take the brush. How she despised him so, yet the man was so arrogant and stubborn- he always did get his way.

“I..despise you” YN finally mustered out.

She was met with a snort.

“Do you?” Dōma’s head tilted to the side, his eyes for a brief moment became completely blank yet his tone remained all the while mockful.

How sad, it was- for such beautiful colours, to be so dull, she thought.

“More than anything, in this life and the next.” Her voice shook, tears threatened to fall, all this time spent screaming, crying, scratching and hitting him over and over again. All it was, was a constant reminder of life’s misery.

And every time, the cycle was the same.

She’d yell, she’d scream

He’d ignore her, laugh at her

She’d hit him and he would hit back

She would cry, he would pretend to care

And he never did forget, to remind her that she was his.

Suddenly Dōma stood, all injuries he had obtained had already vanished into thin air but the blood still stained the floor, as did all that time ago..the memory still engraved into his mind.

YN stared at the floor, as she heard his body slowly reach hers. He cupped her face in his hands, another reminder of how small she was, how weak, how irrelevant she was in the world.

“You really shouldn’t say such false things, hm?” He smiled, a monster hid beneath the mask.

“..The sight of you makes me sick” Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

Dōma stayed silent for a moment, before he spoke

“I saved you, how could you say such mean things..?” His voice grew colder, as did the sensation in his hands, but neither could feel such things any more.

“You wanted to die?” His face slowly approached YN’s ear, as he pulled the hair out of the way. His breath hitting her skin and his teeth making an appearance as he spoke.

“Did you want me to lay your rotting corpse in the courtyard? For all to see? How pitiful you are?”

His voice, was devoid of anything at all. This was the afterlife, accompanied with darkness itself, the void itself- devoid of anything.

“It was so disappointing, that someone as intelligent like you..would believe there’s anything after this cruel life..” His eyes met hers.

“I don’t. But anywhere else is better if you’re not there.” She spat back at him, the hate as bright as ever in her eyes.

“Don’t say such things..YN” He masked a look of sadness

“I do enjoy how you always keep me on my feet, but would it kill you to smile?” He turned his head to the side, wrapping a hand around the crane of her neck and the other on her cheek. He treated her like a child, and to him, she probably was. YN approached him, their bodies against each other. She stared into those dull eyes of his, no matter how hard he tried- she would see past his fonts and his masks. She leaned up to him, leaving mere centimetres between the pairs lips- his eyes never faltered, never blinked and neither did hers. Yet his heart beat, and hers did not.

“I’ll smile when the sun fucking burns you”

Dōma giggled, his grasp tightening. “Oh, how romantic” He cheerfully smiled

“but”

“I’ve grown tired of this game, YN” She yelped as his hand rapidly met her jugular instead- squeezing it violently. He would pop her head out of her socket, if he so desired- but where’s the fun?

“You scream, and you kick- When will you love me?” He whispered, his gaze never leaving her eyes.

“Could you ever? I’ve began to wonder..”

“You once said, you’d love someone who’d devote themselves to you, and who understood you beyond compare..but you don’t love me, you never could- can you?” His grip tightened, the tears now began to fall. He wasn’t going to kill her, she knew. He would torture her before he killed her, he would make her life worse than it is- just as a reminder of what he is and who is. To remind her of her place. But it wasn’t out of bad volition- he’d care for her afterwards, like he always did when he went too far. When he showed her who truly was stronger, that he could stop her fits within seconds if he wanted to- but he didn’t- because he wanted to please her! Make her feel better! Isn’t that what you do in a relationship? They were in a relationship, after all. The fact she wouldn’t let him near her, didn’t bother him at all! After all, sex was a mundane activity, he was devoid of anything- he could only fantasize about the feeling that lust gives you, but he could never truly ever actually feel it. He could only mirror it, copy, mimic- at core, he was nothing at all.

Even the devil weeps, but he didn’t.

“I gave you a chance at life...to be what you want, who you want to be- to not serve men! I only asked of you to remain at my side. Yet the months go by, and..you continue this facade of hate.”

“Have I not been good? Have I not listened to your every wish since? I’ve tried to make it up to you, YN.”

All she could do was stare, in shock? In offence at his words? But the way he spoke, and the words he chose always did have impact- he was taught the art of speech from the youngest age- he met all kinds of people, all kinds of stories who sought the words of a God- and oh, did he provide.

Deep inside her heart, she couldn’t help but rethink her actions. Had she been cruel? Too cruel? He always did try. Was that not enough? And deep down, she did know- all she had was him.

Living a normal life now, with a husband and children was impossible, physically impossible.

Living anywhere else, a demon slayer would certainly catch whiff of her- she didn’t know how to live the life of prey, and predator. But Dōma, he had lived for years- he understood this life.

He understood the brutality of it all.

A second chance at life? Yet all she had done was scream and cry and reject it entirely

Had it truly been her fault, all along?

“You know, all you have is me- and it’s all you need.

I would give you the world, if you sought it- I would shape it to your liking, it would be your world. All you have to do..is one small..little thing.”

She felt weak, mentally and physically. Her mind no longer the vast wonders and thoughts she used to have, but blank like a puppet. His eyes almost seemed hypnotic now, and his smile..that devilish smile

And that confirmation, that reminder

That she did in fact, only have him- was enough to break her.

“One small..little thing?”

She repeated, almost robotic, the tears in her eyes still formed and they still poured down her face.

He hummed In response, as he approached her ear once again. His body leaned down to her level

“To love me..as I love you.”

His voice was almost angelic, yet any peering eyes would know it was a devil’s gamble.

A deal with the devil, rather. A deal with the most despicable of them all, but what other choice?

Behead herself, or walk into the sun? Did she have the willpower for that again? To know she would die for good? Did she really want to cease to exist? Who would remember her?

Dōma?

‘As I love you’

The words meant nothing to her, she knew they were false. He wasn’t capable of love, he admitted to her he felt utterly nothing. How wrong, she would be if she knew the truth of it all.

Of course, this wasn’t love, as anyone would describe it. But it was love, in some shape or form. If your heat beat, in excitement for someone- did it not mean something? When it would never beat at all?

“Devote yourself to me, as I’ve devoted myself to you, how romantic it’d be no?

If we both helped saving those poor innocent souls..”

He meant reviling in slaughter.

“You’d be my wife, at my side. All would envy you, as your beauty knows no bounds. No harm would ever come to you, you’d do as please. The world would be yours, you just have to..love me”

His words were like programming.

Perhaps this was his plan all along, to break her into two, to make her a doll devoid of anything at all. To suck the innocence out of her heart and mind- create a monster equal to him.

She wondered, if her life would be better. If she simply did, just say she loved him. Perhaps the hate would dissipate, perhaps he’d treat her better. Perhaps she wouldn’t be a toy any more, to play with and break apart at his will. A familiar pit in her stomach grew, fear. Fear of the unknown

Perhaps he wouldn’t keep her here, against her will- but was it even against her will any more? She had many opportunities to leave, forever. Yet she never did. Because she always knew, she only had him. What life, if bound by solitude?

But what life, if bound by the devils grasp?

That was the devils gamble

One hell or the other.

His eyes peered into hers, tilting her chin up with his index finger- her eyes slowly lifting to meet his gaze.

He was awaiting her answer, she knew. And she knew deep down, what her choice was. The only choice she ever had.

“Okay..” Was all she could muster out, a weak simple word.

“Okay, what?” There was that, absence of emotion once again.

“I…”

His smile, retuned though it took much more of a sinister look to it.

“will..love you..” A tear rolled down her face, Dōma simply rubbed it into her skin.

“Until death do us part..” He hummed, with excitement.

What was hate, without love?

It would be meaningless.

Dōma placed a kiss on YN’s head, relishing the contact.

She knows she’s made a mistake. But, it doesn’t take that much to break someone apart, and put them back together to your liking. Her words never meant anything to him, her screaming and crying was simply background sound. A deal with the devil to even grasp a fraction of solitude- she could only envy his followers, a sweet release of death.

But she was so afraid of it. Her body felt utterly weak, as if it no longer belonged to her. Dōma instantly took notice.

“You poor thing, let’s have you rest hm?” He gently guided her to lay down, her head on his lap. He hummed and stroked it. In a moment like this, she would have thought him to be a kind man- as he desperately tries to make her believe, but she knew better. She had seen him, covered in blood that was alien to him and corpses surrounding him like trophies, as he feasted. All the smell, had attracted a lower demon, who had tried to start a turf war over her meal- Dōma had quickly ended the altercation, with a new head to gift Gyokko; as he told her.

She suddenly peered her eyes open, to remember the state she was in, covered in blood.

It had even stained her hair, she looked up to Dōma who was already looking at her- to be met with a familiar sight. Even now, he always reminded her of herself as his hair had taken the same gruesome look as well. “Tell me, what are you thinking?” He asked, gently- his smile warm though it was only a facade. “I can’t stand having your blood on me like this” She spoke quietly yet the disgust in her words remained. She slowly got up from his lap, feeling obviously groggy. “Oh dear! Aren’t husbands and wives supposed to share their bodily fluids?” He raised a finger up in question, but he was only teasing- he knew better. And her face only grew more disgusted at both the statement and the sentiment of ‘husband and wife’.

We aren’t even married.

“I’m going to bathe.” She changed the subject yet before she could completely slip out of Dōma’s grasp, he grabbed onto her wrist. “Oh, but I’d like to come.” He smiled, innocently- but it wasn’t an innocent smile at all. In truth, YN wouldn’t have cared. Many before have seen her naked body, Dōma has probably spied on her before, she didn’t care- yet she knew where this was going. He wanted to ‘seal the deal’. Even though, he had no pleasure in the activity, he wanted her to be pleased with his capacities to pleasure, he couldn’t have her looking for another demon now, could he? “I’d like some time to myself, Dōma” She explained, with a gentle voice- she would simply match his facade. The hate would, one day dissipate, wouldn’t it? Had he eternally punished her? Or was he her saving grace? She was at an internal fight.

“Oh, but you’re so tired! That was some fight!” He knew no bounds, so she accepted.

As he stood, his head once again met the crook of her neck, where his teeth lightly grazed the surface. “You know,” He paused. His breath hitting her skin.

“I really think..I do love you.”

It wasn’t love, it never will be.

final part

"“I would feed my heart to you, if you just asked, my love.”"

The thunder crackled throughout the black clouds and ashen sky, a mirky smell of humidity to accompany it. Every animal had already fled back to it’s designated den, and every little critter had hidden behind various rocks stones and trees. They all hid for a reason, they all hid from something.

That was mother nature, that was the way of life.

YN sat on the makeshift stone bench, watching the clouds get darker and angrier. How she understood those clouds all too well. There was always a sensation of peace, and calmness before a storm rolled in- she had sat all afternoon observing it. Yet, even through that serenity, there’s a slight whiff of something sinister. It’s hard to catch it, not all can sense it. But it’s there, lurking and forming. How it mirrored her heart so. She had became herself again, observant and thoughtful, curious and artistic. How it pleased the devil she housed with. He was so content, that she regained her beauty, her liveness- but especially that her love for him did not falter.

Though, even now she wondered if she truly loved him with all her heart, or if it was fear- fear of solitude, of death.

So, she chose to love him. In some shape of form, touching somebody’s body in the name of love, is still love. Doing favours and tasks, conversing and bathing- it was enough for him. After all, the only thing that mattered to him, was the conversing. She didn’t lose her humanity, tears would still prickle her eyes as she ate her meals- Dōma would simply laugh and tease her. But he wanted to understand, and she helped him. She helped him understand emotions he couldn’t fathom to comprehend. But one still escaped her, explaining love. She had tried, yet she didn’t comprehend it herself entirely. For Dōma, his love showed itself violently yet also gracefully. He had already killed in her name, on multiple occasions, but he’d also bathe her body so tenderly- as if his palms weren’t stained with the blood of thousands. She had grown accustomed to that sentiment. Allowing a killer to touch her, to stroke her hair, to whisper soft words in her ear- but was she not the same now? Was she not also a killer? She did it because she had to survive, like all creatures- but she had became his creature. All who knew this, knew she was his weakness.

A weakness he made, that he allowed- for the simple craving of what he could never have.

But that’s how it usually works, isn’t it?

Envious for something you cannot obtain, cannot have.

His eyes, always peered to hers. And that gentle smile, only ever faltered for her.

She had grown to accept Dōma, for being this way. It was strange, if someone said to her now- that he was a brutal killer, and a monster. She wouldn’t disagree, but she would still fight in his name; How strange it was, to spend so much time by someone’s side that you would still pick them over a warm heart, and not a cold one. But, being around coldness makes you used to it- the warmth begins to burn. And this was true vice versa, but Dōma didn’t think the heat burned, no. Instead, he fantasied about the touch. Like a moth attracted to a flame, her heart was his saving grace.

He truly did feel something for her.

Time had become irrelevant, she did not know how long she had been at the temple- she did not know how long she had known Dōma now. Yet, it did not matter, because old age would escape her now as it would him.

Together, for eternity, as he’d say

She took in a deep breath, the humidity entering her lungs. A solitary bird, flew over the court yard- and she couldn’t help to wonder what that felt like. To be free, to go wherever you want, to not be plagued with the mind of a thinker.

Dōma appeared from behind her, he bent over to her height to place a kiss on her cheek.

“I’ve been looking for you all over, my love.” He smiled.

She didn’t reply, instead she kept her gaze up at the sky. Dōma’s followed, the colours in his eyes seeming more dim than usual.

As he sat down, his hand travelled along her thigh, moving his thumb in a circular motion. YN’s eyes didn’t falter from the sky. She never knew what he wanted, he was a man, or more so devil, incapable of understanding.

“If I died, what would you do?” Suddenly, Dōma spoke. The question itself made YN’s eyes jump to his face, and without a surprise, she was met with utter nothingness.

“Why would you ask such a question?” Her voice was quiet and meek. Not because the subject of death itself bothered her but because she, in truth, was utterly afraid of what she would do. Her entire existence revolved around him. As a human, she had no family and no understanding of her place in the world- taught to simply serve men and nothing more. It was a skill of survival not of life. Yet, regardless of what he had done to her- forcing her to come to his sanctuary with him, breaking her apart for his own amusement and satisfaction- he had never touched her without her permission. He had never taken advantage of her, nor had he ever put her in any real danger apart from herself. If he hurt her, he made sure it was a lesson and not a beating. Though, she had hurt him too. It was simply how their love worked, there cannot be hate without love- and there cannot be hate without violence. If he died, she would have no meaning whatsover. She didn’t have friends. She didn’t relate to the cultists who believed in a God who didn’t exist, whom was dead. And if he was real, he certainly laughed at their pity and despair. She didn’t relate to them at all, because she was in fact not human any more. It was an aspect she often forgot, and her creator, before her- had been the one to teach her everything she knew. How could she not have some sort of pact with him? Regardless of the hate she had buried deep within her, regardless of the lies she told herself. That was life, that survival. And he didn’t care, because words, were just words. And actions, were just actions.

She swallowed.

“I don’t know.”

“Would you find someone else?” He asked, his gaze turning to hers. His eyes would always become so dull, and it never made her fail to realise, how utterly vacant he was.

“No.” She answered truthfully. Because, the raw and hard truth was, she couldn’t ever love someone again. Not because of some hidden morals but because he had destroyed the meaning. His love was so violent yet so tender at the same time, any other form would seem meaningless and empty to her. It wouldn’t be love to her anymore. All the screaming and all the blood would accompany all the nights spent with nails in her thighs and sweet little nothings in her ear. How, could she even possibly fathom to find, such a distasteful love ever again?

Yet she wouldn’t have it either way, and neither would he.

Dōma didn’t answer, he turned his gaze back to the sky. The question had spawned worry in YN.

Did he do it on purpose?

Or was he genuinely curious?

“Are you afraid of dying?” She finally mustered out, her hand rested itself on his- to which he stopped his movements.

“No.”

“Yet, I’m afraid of you dying.”

The statement didn’t surprise her, instead it filled with her an odd sense of false security. No matter how violent and toxic he was, he would protect her- but maybe just not from him.

Soon, the droplets of rain began to fall.

Without another word, Dōma had gently guided YN to her feet, and his hand met her lower back before he leaned down to her ear.

“If you did die, I’d kill myself to join you.”

Her heart had skipped a beat for a moment.

The statement itself didn’t shock her but the tone he had used. It had a certain animosity to it, it wasn’t devoid of emotion but it didn’t exactly have any either.

That was when that pit of fear begun to emerge in her stomach again.

Fear of the unknown.

She was right to have observed the storm rolling in, because something had changed.

But, as they entered the temple- she was suddenly remembered of his words long ago.

“Until death do us part.”

Did he mean that, literally?

Did he know something she didn’t?

Was he planning to kill her? Or was he ordered to? Or was he simply in a bad mood?

If he was going to kill her, she’d rather know than not. He could atleast have the decency to give her the mental preparation , though he always was a selfish man- even in bed. Which was quite ironic considering he didn’t even care for it but saw it as more of a hobby.

Lost in thought, she had failed to realise he had guided them to their bedroom. It was odd, considering prayer time was soon and the two would be expected to make an appearance.

Before she could speak, she was met with his cold lips against hers. It wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t exactly passionate either. It was hungry.

For Dōma, the heat that radiated off of her lips was almost intoxicating. They weren’t cold like his, her heart constantly beat, with fire and warmth. How she resembled him so, yet not at the same time. In truth, he had done this on purpose. He had orchestrated the entire thing. He already knew, who she was before he found her almost dead. After all, he was the one who impaled her.

But she didn’t know that, and she didn’t need to know.

The entire reasoning of it all was for a simple reason.

A life long partner.

Although he didn’t understand love and affection, he wasn’t oblivious to social cues. He knew nobody truly actually liked him. And his devoted followers loved him because they were told to.

But he could force someone to love him, couldn’t he? Afterall that was what that woman had told him, when he sought counselling on his troubles. Of course, her good advice now lays in the bowels of his stomach.

So, he had stalked for a partner.

The entertainment district, had truly never failed to amaze him. There were all kinds of people, and beautiful women- he just had to choose wisely- and he did at that. It was a rarity for him to have bad taste after all.

In truth, he knew everything about her before she even knew of his existence.

He knew she had no family, no ties to the outside world- that she was born into this work and never truly knew what love was. It was easy, he just had to make her believe this was love because he was incapable of showing it any other way.

He had found her to be quite exquisite, and he had already noticed that fire inside of her. The warmth that he had been looking for, for a century.

His mother was unable to give it to him, and another woman failed at it- she would be the last option. If she failed, he would kill himself entirely. He had decided.

He would die in a battle, he knew that.

Regardless, before he died- he wanted to know what love felt like. He was always so cold, he had become numb to it and although she was the same breed of monster he was now, she wasn’t so cold.

He knew he’d have to break her into two to make her love him

He knew, he’d have to lie and deceive her- but did he ever claim to not be the devil?

After all, he is cunning but also beautiful- and he once was an angel.

Perhaps this was a pointless fight, to be fighting for something that he will never truly obtain- but he’s had everything he’s ever wanted apart from that.

He didn’t care for walking in the sun or power

He revelled in slaughter because it made him feel something and likewise now, he could only fall under the spell she had put under him.

His hands travelled up her waist and down to her hip bone before he lightly bit at her bottom lip.

What would she say, if she knew?

She was so erratic, maybe she would kill herself. Afterall she tried it once before, who’s to say she wouldn’t again? She would leave him wouldn’t she? Why would she not? Everyone else had.

Everyone he had ever taken a liking to, would simply leave.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have turned her into a demon in the first place

Maybe he wasn’t deserving of love

“Dōma?”

Suddenly, his mind wandered back to reality. It was not often that he zoned out, after all, he was so perceptive- yet when it came to her, he became a man he didn’t even recognise.

He hadn’t even noticed, that he placed her onto the bed, and loomed over her. He had kissed her neck before abruptly stopping and his gaze becoming devoid of any emotion.

“What’s wrong?”

How funny it was, he thought. That she cared

His signature smile returned, as his slightly closed yet were still open enough to see those multicoloured eyes.

“Nothing at all, my love- since you’re here with me” He whispered, and placed another kiss on the crane of her neck before moving to her collarbone before he was met with a rather violent pull of his hair which led him for just a moment- to widen his eyes.

“First, you ask me such a ridiculous question, then this, and then you just suddenly gaze into nothing. Explain yourself.” Her voice had broke, she wasn’t upset but worried and dumbfounded.

He always kept her emotions in disarray.

Should he tell her?

Would it be proof of her love if he did?

That he had in fact orchestrated the entire thing?

One of his hands reached up to her cheek, as he stroked it lightly.

“Do you remember, how we met?” He asked, gently.

“When you..kidnapped me?” She scoffed, looking back at the memory it was foggy and blurry. A reminder of a previous life, a life where she still didn’t have any freedom.

“Hm, yes I suppose..for you..that’s how we met.” His tone became cold.

“..?..”

“That monster, that you had seen- it was me, my dear.”

“I was the one that caused the city to become ruin.”

She was met with horror as distant memories suddenly became anew.

She had shoved them to the back of her head, she hadn’t once thought about what she had seen.

Only the flames, were describable but not the other horrors.

The way the other girls were screaming and crying as pillars of wood fell and the smell of copper filled the halls. Mutated legs and arms scattered around the building like children’s toys.

And the sudden golden tinted fan that had her in her chest before she fell from the window.

It was in an effort to catch her.

Her mouth grew dry.

She had understood now, why their first encounter was so strange. He didn’t decide to keep her on a whim, he had decided long before. He had caused the city to burn, for her. In an effort to break her, to have her. To make her believe that he was her saviour, her god.

“..What..”

What, was the only word she could muster out as Dōma shadowed over her.

His eyes had a glint in them, they weren’t so dim. As if he was glad to have the lie between them finally revealed, as if they growing anew- as if this would be true love.

“I had seen you, quite a few months back- walking home after working.”

He smiled

“Oh, it was quite funny, you didn’t even see the poor girl I was feasting on..”

His canines shined under the small luminosity that housed the room

“But, you just caught my eye. You were so beautiful! And just so lost in your own mind, it was exactly what I was looking for! I had to know more.”

He bent down now, cheerfully and joyous as he placed a toothy kiss to her neck.

Goosebumps filled her body.

“You..stalked me.. and then burnt the entire fucking city to the ground?”

Her voice broke again, she was dumbfounded? Afraid?

Horrified was more the word for it.

“And I would burn the world, just for you.

You didn’t need that city, what good did it do? It only harmed you, my love.”

He pleaded his case.

“You were exactly what I was looking for, intelligent and creative yet you had this striking beauty to you, though the sadness and despair wasn’t something I had ignored either- I wanted to save you, you poor thing.” He whispered into her ear, yet the words meant nothing- it only fuelled the sickening feeling in her stomach.

“You..manipulated me..?” Her voice had grown quiet, tears now threatening the corners of her eyes.

“Oh, YN. You were always so exquisite when you cried.” Dōma approached his mouth to her left eye, before gently licking the corner.

It filled her with disgust.

“You..took everything away from me..and then denied me death just..for-..for-” YN couldn’t finish the sentence before a muffled sob escaped her mouth.

“Took everything away..? You never had anything in the first place..

I gave you everything you’d ever need” He stroked his thumb on her cheek.

She wanted to tell him to get out, to scream at him and to cry and sob.

After all this time, she had been so stupid

She had ignored the simple truth, because she had already known.

Yet, she couldn’t accept it, because she had nobody else.

The hate had dissipated, for the simple reason of lying to herself.

Dōma now telling her and affirming her suspensions all along, all in some sick and twisted way of proving his love to her made her realise, that what she had grown to love was a monster, and would only ever be a monster.

He didn’t just kidnap her, he destroyed everything in his path to make sure she had nothing else to return to. That he would be the only thing she would have, turning him into the same creature that he was, into the same monstrosity- was assurance.

He didn’t manipulate her in his mind, he simply bent the truth.

Stalking was such a big word, he had only just learnt every single detail about her before making his move. Was that normal? He wanted results, not failure.

Her muffled sobs brought a grin to his face, an erratic one. He always did like to see her cry, it reminded him that she still had her humanity- that she was still so different from him.

He approached her ear with a sweet shushing sound as if to soothe her.

“I even kept their bodies, in case you ever missed them”

“...you’re fucking sick” YN finally managed to muster out, with a cry to accompany it.

“If being in love with you makes me sick, then so be it!” He cheerfully smiled

“This isn’t love!” She tried to push him off, but he was stronger. He always was. He pinned both of her wrists down with one arm- his veins making an appearance.

“You don’t think I love you, YN?” Dōma masqueraded a look of sadness before a golden fan met his free his hand, with a swift movement, it opened.

“Do you want me to prove to you, that I do?”

His voice became devoid of any emotion.

Before YN could answer, or even comprehend his sudden act- she was met with a gush of blood hitting her face.

A small empty laugh filled her ears and as she looked, she realised he had slit his throat open- the fan was still impaled into his neck and was making it’s way through the bone deeper.

“I love you so much I’d be prepared to die for you, are you?”

Before she could react, the fan had already met her neck.

She whimpered as it slightly cut her skin- though he hadn’t cut her nearly as deep as he had cut himself.

His skin had already begin to heal.

“There shouldn’t be any lies between us, my love. If you died, I’d go utterly insane.”

“Please..get off of me.” She whimpered as her white hair and porcelain skin was now stained with his blood. Though, he himself didn’t care. Instead, he shoved another kiss on her lips. This time it was rough, a mixture of the taste of blood and saliva pooled the two’s mouths as he harshly bit at her lip. In an effort to make him stop even for just a moment, she bit him back yet this caused absolutely no reaction at all and seemed to just fuel his blood lust further.

He pretended to be a kind man when in truth, he was nothing but hell itself among mortals.

“What does it matter?” He finally breathed into her mouth.

“It was so long ago now, hm?” He stroked her hair, his own fingers stained with crimson red.

“It matters because you killed everyone that I knew! You burnt my home to ash!” She cried out

“Had you not said, you had lived a life of a misery?” He tilted his head, to which YN was met with silence in her own mind.

She had said that, hadn’t she.

“Did I not give you a somewhat better life? Regardless of my past actions? As they say, let’s not cry over spoiled milk, my dear.”

“..Why..”

Dōma reflected for a moment

“Does it matter?” He asked, emotionless.

It didn’t, she had concluded.

It didn’t matter, because regardless she was stuck here. She wouldn’t leave, she knew she wouldn’t. She was stuck within the devils grasp- and he wasn’t letting go.

Deep down, maybe she knew the answer. But it didn’t matter.

It never did, because in truth, she would most likely die from her hand- and him his own.

It was a story that was never bound to have a happy ending.

After all, their entire existence was against the codes of nature and so was this so called love.

“I would feed my heart to you, if you just asked, my love.”

She wished, she had killed herself that day.

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