#l STILL THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY SAID

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[strawbubbysugar]

I say this as someone who always uses anon for questions but uh. I completely understand if you revoke anon privileges after that. I think you should honestly. Good luck, stay true to the story you want to tell, and block anyone who starts shit in your inbox.

Nah. I love getting anons and I don’t want to punish people who did nothing wrong for one person’s actions. If I consistently get more asks like that the. Maybe, but for now, I’m not letting one bad ask ruin everybody else’s fun.

#ask #very sweet of you though thank you Angel #I’ve been told I shouldn’t have responded to that ask but like #I felt like I needed to. both to let them understand that what they said was not in any way shape or form how you should talk to someone #let alone a stranger #but also because I needed to show everyone that it has gotten to a point that I’m genuinely thinking about pausing posting for awhile #because it makes it feel like you don’t gaf about the story or the writing or the plot some people just care about the ending #which. doesn’t feel great #I urge anybody who feels the same as that anon or is upset with my choices to please. just read a different fic #I thought eclipse in so(u)l would be the best of both worlds and also would be the fix for the virus like in the game #and I’m still very happy with that ending #but it sucks to see people so upset

[deus-ex-mona]

ok but. looking at yujiro’s nonexistent a(.)b(.)s(ecret), i think i could take him on 1v1 ezpz

#never have i ever felt such a strong urge to throw a fictional guy across the room #i haven’t trained in over a year but i think i still got it!!!!!! meet me outside yujiro i can show you ✨the world✨ #i’ll whip you over my shoulder so quick you won’t be able to even get to the ‘c’ of your abcs #but hm. this kinda makes me feel better about my own growing muscles. i think my biceps are getting kinda fire ngl #guess carrying 18 litre tins of solvents at work makes for a good workout after all~~~~~~ yeayyyyyyyyt #ok but. while i’m blabbing on about absolute nonsense… my (a.b.)secret is… that i’ve never been a fan of techno im sorryyyyyy #y’seeeee it all started with my father’s cd filled with nothing but track remixes of this song called 老鼠爱大米… #and track 5 of said remix collection was a techno version of that song. it made my head pound so bad i got nauseous i think #so that’s what techno reminds me of ngl… sadge. sorry a.b.s. i gotta add you to the lxl dni tracklist along with nonfan :( #anyways live love laugh maNIFEST MEOTO MV PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPP L S #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—

[elegyofthemoon]

reading springfest now after everything in nagazora is making me crave more fu hua and mei interactions. i feel like thus far in my go through, i've never actually seen them interact, but it's kinda fun that the person who made the recommended reading order put springfest after nagazora (though of course this is probably in preparation for whatevers going on with senti/fu hua rn in ch 19)

but the way that the empyrea isolates herself so she doesn't have any attachment to those who she will outlive and how she winds up becoming lonely as a result threw me back to mei isolating herself in world serpent so that she can protect kiana and just... idk..... i think the two talk about that isolation would be interesting

also. i love fu hua. she's still at the top of my list for best character so i'm just a happy little guy getting more fu hua content now in the story :> yippee fu hua

#idk who to ramble to about honkai so hi #avil plays hi3 #ill probably liveblog my thoughts as i read through springfest and UH #blade of the empyrean! #but im excited :> then after that i gotta go through the 7 blades visual novel ^7^ that one has sushang!! i havent met her in the game yet #but i do have her !!! #its kinda interesting though because sushangs ultimate in hi3 is yanqing's ultimate in hsr. or i guess yanqing as a boss??? #idk. so im like HMMMMMMMM WHATS UP THERE WHATS GOING ON #i wonder if theres a character sorter for hi3 actually #if i had to say who my top 5 are atm for honkai #its probably like fu hua mei kiana kevin and sakura ??? #kiana is so easy. like if i loved oz vessalius how could i NOT love kiana we sure love vessel characters LJSHDFLASKDHFLAKSH #maybe its also recency effect though for mei but also. characters who isolate thinking that its the best htey could do to protect #like NO YOU IDIOT GET LOVED!!!!! GET L O V E D #they kinda get me #AND WELT I FORGOT WELT HOW COULD I DO THAT...... #i feel like welt over kevin tbh #but thats super hard to say on my end alkdjfha #YOU KNOW i wouldve also said rita because i think rita is so fun #but i still dotn know enough about her #but personality wise i think shes so funny in a very stereotypical anime villain esque way LOL #also she is so catty too like what was she doing picking a fight with natasha LKAJHDLAFKJSDFH #OH I ALSO LOVE RITA AND NATASHA... #tbh i havent run into a character that i absolutely Hate in honkai yet.... #at least not that i remember #if i hated them i probably forgot about them LMAOOOOO #like even durandal? i love durandal in the manga. she doesnt really stand out to me MUCH yet in the game but i loved her a lot in the manga #but for me durandal is low on the list for now. but that doesnt mean i dislike her i think shes cool but just hasnt done anything in #particular that caught my attention yet alskjdfahl #rambling WHOOPS ASLKJDFA

[eclipsecrowned]

me trying to be a welcoming person in a fandom space vs feeling like a little gatekeeping would solve damn near every problem in a specific fandom actually.

#like you can like something off the barest brush w it idc i think the fact t*kt*k girlies claimed colla dooty for themselves is fantastic fr #but also i feel like if your only brush with a narrative is a scene clip #and you not only have not but refuse to either play or watch the media or even skim a wiki #bc you don't want to 'back propaganda' while still generating content and attention for said propaganda #then maybe don't speak as an authority about what's wrong with a story? or claim it's harmful in ways that don't exist? #crying homophobia about characters that are literally never framed as romantic except in fandom doesn't make you an ally. #deriding an entire product w actual gay rep and queer creators attached isn't it. #by all means be critical of the product/narrative/etc but stop. talking like a authority when you saw three frames w an eth*l cain song #played over the top of it. #get in your lil clown car and go back to the big top lakelynn #out of stories #vent // #negative //

[franeridan]

nah man I get hancock I really do if I had to pick a single man in the whole history of the world to fall for I'd pick luffy too, who are we kidding

#i love kuja island its a cool spin on the amazon myth and all the designs for the girls are extremely fun #i wish luffy had spent more active on screen time there the girls are fun #also i never spent too long thinking about it but it makes sense kuma would send him there #since he was trying to hide him and that's like #the only island that's completely off limits for anyone who's not a resident #smart thinking ! #also during the fight with the sisters they talk about conqueror haki and i thought about how zoro has it and #UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he loves luffy so much!!! HE LOVES LUFFY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! #it's LITERALLY in his very nature to stand at the top and follow noone and he still loves luffy so much he'd follow him to hell #he said so!!! on page!!!!! he would!!!!!!!!! #they repeat it a whole lot during the manga too #how a man like zoro could be a captain himself #how it's weird there's someone above him #he loves luffy so much he goes against everything anyone would expect of him to stay by him....... p l e a s e 😭😭😭 #on a slightly unrelated not just before being sent away nami looks at luffy and Cries and Asks for Help and luffy can't save her and I just #AUUUGHHHHH the callback!!! to her arc!!!!! and how while he tries to get back on the sea luffy thinks about her specifically!!!!!! #FUCK!!!!!!! #I'm fine I'm normal I'm not crying about something i first read 14 years ago what are you talking about hahahahaha

[backseatloversz]

got told by a whole doctor the health issue i likely have thats causing my constant abnormal levels of fatigue and i still catch myself going "im probably just being dramatic"

#MF!!!! YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH B L O O D !!!!!!! #caved and dropped a class because 1. i am not interested in the material at all 2. i would much rather focus on finding a primary healthcar #provider & finally addressing the health issues ive just been muscling through for aaages while im still young instead of forcing myself to #idk struggle to focus on classwork due to said unaddressed health issues to work towards a degree idfk what im gonna do with #im not gonna drop out of college ENTIRELY but i am. going to focus.....right now.....I think. on 1. getting my physical + mental health to #better place and also 2. finding a full/part time job w way more hours than my current job. so i can make some MONEY while i figure out wtf #i wanna do with the rest of my life #this is reasonable THIS IS REASONABLE!!!! this is reasonable................i will not let capitalism & the expectation of what young #adulthood SHOULD look like consume me #addressing health issues & getting a job feel very. very reasonable I'll worry about the whole career thing when i am not so. fucking. #spaced all the time!!!!!!! #cowboy posts

[justinefrischmanngf]

i need to get over myself and learn the languages i want to learn if i want to learn them like i just need to do it if i want to learn them then i should go out and learn them and like . fuck whatever else any of it means . yes it IS embarrassing to learn a language like the ones i want to learn as an adult but who CARES and yes i KNOW my grandparents will never want to speak to me in those languages but who CARES if it's important to me it can be important to me anyway

#had a moment last night bc i was apparently having an identity crisis which was random #but i had a moment where i was like well even if i learn all these languages no one in my family is going to want to speak to me #in those languages because of [insert reasons i don't need to go into here] and so ultimately none of this is like . cultural Really #it's just me wanting to feel as though i am connected to something when i will never be #and maybe that's true or maybe it isn't but if i want to learn them i should learn them anyway like . at the end of the day #i DO want to learn those languages and i think it would be interesting and i would love to be able to speak to people #in those languages even if the people i speak to aren't related to me and i would love to be able to speak languages that aren't english #and that all stays true even if i am not able to have the cultural connection through language with my own family #like i can go on and on about how disconnected i feel from my culture bc of everything that has ever happened in my life #but how i still feel alienated bc i'm Not White to white people and all of that is true but not learning a language doesn't make it #any better and maybe learning a language won't make it better either but i think it's a better use of my time #ALSO !!!!! NO ONE EVER GOES OH WHY WLD U LEARN FRENCH OR SPANISH [OR INSERT EUROPEAN LANG HERE] u have no real cultural connection to it!!! #so like why is it different bc i want to learn asian languages??? it's not! except in my head! or maybe irl too but i'm just saying #that i think i make all of this a much bigger deal than it has to be #that being said i did just try to look up classes and they r all for children and about keeping children culturally connected 2 their famil #l m f a o but that can't be ALL the classes ............. i'll work it out is what i'm saying and i need 2 get OVER myself #bc none of it is that deep and i can feel conflicted all i like but i should fucking DO smth about it at least #anyway i am posting this in the hopes that i can beat it into my own head bc i am sick and tired of being weird about learning #languages and i need 2 get over my weird cultural identity issues if i want to like . live a life where i don't want to explode and die

[icewindandboringhorror]

Current temperature inside of my room right now in the middle of the night whilst about to go to sleep... villain origin story...

#You just get SOOOOO tired of being hot all the time for multiple days straight.. with very little relief ever... hhHHHH #I forget that I literally lose my mind and become evil every summer like clockwork #I don't evenknow what I mean by that because I'm just as calm/monotone as ever lol.. but I just feel more evil.. low level pent up rage #or something. nothing changes on the outside but on the inside it's like hmm.. I'm like 5% more hostile than I usually am #not outwardly expressed still of course. but just.. my bones are made of a little more violence recently.. #percentages moving around. My character stats get a temporary modifier all summer where I feel chronically just a LIIIITLE more noticably #unhinged. like I will never do it of course. but I will think about. maybe I'll just throw all the plates at the wall and break every wind #ow with a baseball bat. No. I shant. I would never.. but .. I could. 5% more than I usually could. But I shan't. but let it be known.. I #c o u l d ...i COULD.. if I had to. but I don't.. but still.. keep the notion in the back of the mind.. hmm.. lol #And this is not even during a heat wave at the moment it's just like.. normal summer.. >:') #I think it's also largely the shitty apartment which was not built for coolness. Like older houses will have tall cielings and those window #above the doors and ceiling fans and be built high up from the ground and all these other ways to manage warm weather #naturally. but cheaply constructed dinky city apartments with no ventilation and windows only on one side and blah blah #It retains heat insanely like being trapped in a green house or something #even with all the windows open & fans in the house and stuff it just doesn't really move air well because the space is not made to do that. #Also really testing my anticapitalism/leftism/etc... sitting and thinking 'damn maybe I should play the stock market.. I should sell #some sculptures and overprice them.. howmuch could I charge for these clothes..' < *is desperate to afford a living situation with central #heating and air conditioning* #Haha! Guillotines?? who said anything about those? I LOVE rich people.. haha.. now what's a guy gotta do to instantly get about $50.000 ar #ound here? haha! kidnap someone and sell their organs? okay haha! I love the free market! going to home depot right #now to buy an axe! Don't you just hate taxes? so glad I live in the best country in the world under the best economic system on the planet #USA! USA!! USA!!! *visibly shaking. nose starts bleeding. you notice i am also levitating off the ground slightly* #ANYWAY gfgfgh.... winter......... my sweet child....i miss you so so much.... SUMMER you are my ENEMY #ah well now it's gone down to 80.4 Farenheight. cancel post. thats such an improvemtn surely I'll be able to sleep soundly now /s #what was I ever worried about? it's all good! haha!! *still levitating a little * #In better news - I have finished the Victorian Pharmacy documentary series and am now watching them build a medieval castle! and one of my #goofy joke song snippets suddenly got 6.000 views on youtube which was cool?? though very random? I made kale chips again. and had asparag #us. And saw a duck. carved a lot of things out of avocado pits. Little tidbits to keep me sane.. #See a funny little duck outside and go 'hmm... life is okay actually :) I no longer want to break windows :3' #then it gets like 85F inside again and you're liek NEVERMINDaaaaaaahhh!!!!! then you see a duck next morning and calm down :)

[manofmanymons]

You ever think about how like

No matter how mad she is at him, how mean she is to him, or how much she wants him to go away, Kaito still wants nothing more than to protect Miu at all costs

And then part 6 happens, and Kaito's being a downright brat, but Dracmon—

They really are two halves of the same soul.

And I'm very happy that at least in the truthful route, Dracmon knows that Kaito cares for him just as much.

#digimon survive #digimon survive spoilers #kaito shinonome #dracmon #although like #specifically in the context of the harmony route #words cannot express the emotional damage it causes me knowing that dracmon was 100% serious about seeing Kaito as a brother #like that's not just his partner #that's his little bro #and he feels the same way about kaito that kaito feels about miu #he never ever wants to see him suffer and would do anything if he thought there was a chance it could make him happy #literally the fate of two worlds is not half as important to him as his precious partner #the fact that in spite of everything they still loved each other so much until the very end makes me insane #even if Kaito was a stupid idiot and didn't realize it until too late #dont think i dont constantly think about how even when he pissed at the whole world #kaito was NOT mad at dracmon and explicitly said he didn't blame him for what happened #or how when he died it wasnt like oh i wanna save the world or even oh i gotta protect my friends he just #couldnt stand the idea of dracmon being forced to do something he would never want #and as soon as he was in his right mind would l i t e r a l l y rather die than let that happen #their bond from start to finish in every single route is so fucking special #i know there are typos in these tags and i dont have the energy to fix them #you know what im trying to say #dracmon is THE best character in digimon survive

[j3st3rfun3r4l]

Man i wish christian anon tried to annoy me, it would be so fucking funny

#jester rants #i really want to laugh at someone calling me a sinner #and tell it to my mother and both laugh about it #LIKE MY MOM (apart from being supper cool and awesome and i love her so much omg) ITS REALLY CHRISTIAN #AND STILL SHE NEVER HAD CALLED ME A SINNER AND SAID THAT GOD WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME FOR WHAT I AM???? #i think that it would be hilarious for some random in the internet to call me a sinner #whoops ranted on the tags L

[femmesandhoney]

The dark media focusing on women that you mentioned still falls into the bury your gays trope, especially with killing eve. We as lesbians deserve better than constant negativity. The L word original, even is filled with cheating. What shows and movies have you seen that don’t have any of this, to the point where you feel like it’s over flooding with positivity and no dark media? Almost all of the media aimed at us is already so dark, open your fucking eyes?

#anon r u being dumb on purpose be fr #like i never said lesbian media was overflowing with positivity its barely a thing at all #my og post wasnt even about only lesbians it was about women in dark media too again learn to read #if u cant distinguish that wanting more lesbian characters and women centric dark media isnt me saying i think all lesbian media is #sunshine and rainbows and i dont want that then?? i cant help u youre just an idiot #never seen the L word i dont care #only killing eve in those examples ended badly yes ik it was random and stupid from all the writer changes #doesn't mean the rest of the show isnt still pretty good and fits into a rec for darker media #also none of the other recs i gave ended badly either for lesbians since most werent lesbian recs?? r u good #like if u dislike killing eve ok fair i wasnt happy w the ending either #get ur head out of ur ass tho about thinking all dark media = death and dying lesbians like that is so stupid and doesnt exist nor is what #i want from dark media either #pretty sure u have little clue what dark media as a genre im referring to cause u seem hella confused #like the l word isnt dark media and cheating doesnt make something dark media?? #again ur coming into my inbox and projecting onto me problems w me that arent supported by anything ive said #so knock it off #idk what gave u this burst of confidence to be a dumb shit in my inbox but if u continue ur blocked

[puthyflapps]

Why do you hate Tess so much she hadn’t done anything wrong

She’s annoying and I don’t like the way she speaks to Shane 🤷🏻‍♀️

Next question

#she was at peak annoying last season and I absolutely hated the way she spoke to Shane because it was so rude #I hated how she’d make it known that she couldn’t stand to be around Shane but she also wouldn’t just quit working #at Dana’s because she liked to act like it’s impossible to find another bar tending job in the city of Los Angeles #I hated the way she was and still is very patronizing towards Shane #I think they have 0 chemistry and I need y’all to riddle me this: what do they really know about one another? #the show forced them together and then broke them up and then forced them back together to break them up again like can we be done now? #Shane said she’s not happy with Tess let’s move on pleaseeee #anti shess #ask #the l Word #the l word gen q

[hourgloss]

society if succession watchers were banned from using the term media literacy

#made the mistake of scrolling down a twitter thread and saw at least 10 people accuse each other of being media illiterate 😭 #sorry but you cannot say that about every dissenting opinion. like yeah sometimes people don’t get it but sometimes you don’t either #i get especially pissed when people express empathy for any of the siblings and the replies are full of losers just being like #if you thought any of them were good people you weren’t watching the show haha L ratio media literacy is dead #no one has ever said they are good people. you just made that up. but if you can’t feel anything for any of the characters #why are you even here? like this whole episode I wanted to kill kendall but then I was still crying over him at the end #do I think he deserved to quote unquote win? no of course not but I feel for him because that’s the point #do I think what Roman said about kendall’s kids was right no of course not but I still don’t like to see him get hit #do I think shiv was a girlboss feminist Joan of waystar no but it still breaks my heart to see her end up where she did #it’s possible to hold more than one thought in your head at a time #anyways! i loved the finale! #succession #succession spoilers

[nateriverswife]

"I am sorry, L" - from Matsuda to L

as requested by: @where-tf-is-my-mind It was written when I was 14, so keep that in mind lol It's not an in-depth heartbreaking powerful piece of writing. It's a silly little letter.

L... I'm Touta Matsuda.

I wonder if you remember me from up there...

I was part of the task force in charge of the Kira case, and I was one of the people who caused your death by not believing you.

I didn't think Yagami Light was Kira at all. I didn't expect that, honestly. He appeared like a decent person, I didn't think he was capable of murder.

It's true, appearances can be deceptive, and I'm sorry, nay, we're sorry, me and those few people left from the team.

Mr Yagami is dead... I think you already know. If there's a place where good people go, I'm sure he's there with you.

He was a great person. My heart aches every time I think about it. He gave his life for this case and was killed by his son. Not directly, but still… Light caused it, and he didn’t even seem to care.

But I don't want to talk about him here. Maybe I'll write to him, but I'm not sure if I'll have time.

I am still in the police, and I don't like your successor that much. I have a strong doubt that it was he the one who killed Mikami, using the Death Note.

I don't know what you think of him, and I wouldn't want to influence your opinion.

Aizawa has become my and Ide's boss. He's really good at his job, as am I.

I know I wasn't one of the best, when I worked with you and for you. I was a bit too childish. I realise that now, but I've changed… Slightly, I swear!

Even Aizawa said it, after a 'not' in front of it....

Rereading the last part I wrote… I realise it's stupid. I was going to erase it, but then I decided not to.

At least you remember the old days, when you were still alive, and maybe, really hoping you actually do, you'll smile.

You know what?

You didn't seem to smile very often, and you should have… And you should! We only have one life and there's no need to live it by being a sourpuss!

Aizawa is calling me. A new case will be assigned to the meticulous Matsuda!

I'll solve it, in honour of the greatest mentor I could’ve ever wished to have, Mr Yagami.

And you, of course, the world’s greatest detective.

I want to show you that I'm good at solving cases!

If only I had done it when you both were still here...

Regardless, watch me from up there!

Matsuda,

Faithful policeman.

#death note #l lawliet #matsuda #my notes from when i first wrote it said that i had ideas but then i forgot them so that's why it is so short and ridiculous #i didn't change anything #even tho i have some ideas that could help make it longer and more realistic #like him explaining more stuff about his current life #and how he sees the time spent during the kira case #i didn't want to add the part where he shot Light because i don't think he is the kind of person to actually brag #he just jokingly uplifts himself #so the tone of what he is writing is not serious #if i were to re write it #i would actually make him talk more about soichiro #but still he wouldn't write a letter directly to him because he knows he will cry thru the all writing process #so that's why he decides to postpone it so much that he never writes it #he blames the lack of free time #but truthfully he just doesn't want to accept that he is actually gone forever #and writing him a letter of this kind will make it real #i actually think my inital plan was that: write a letter to soichiro thru L #but then i forgot about it and it ended up being whatever this is #dn.matsuda

[greatbigstorm]

i am an adult. i am going to buy some sims 4 packs and the bts memories of 2021 when my tax return hits tomorrow.

#text post #that is if i can stop feeling guilty for spending money on non-necessities #we're not doing well financially at all #and my dad is taking most of my tax return for actual necessities #and both my parents said i can use the remainder for whatever i want #but i can't help but think about better things that i could be using this money for :/ #AND IT'S NOT A LOT OF MONEY BY ANY MEANS #BUT I STILL FEEL BAD ABOUT IT #anyways. we'll see what happens. #lord please let me have this new job P L E A S E