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trulyhblue · 3 months

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please can we get a caitlin foord fic 🙏

Bug and Bingo

Caitlin Foord x Daughter! Child! Reader, Lauren Hemp x Child! Reader, AWFC + CITY x Child! Reader.

Warnings: pure fluff, coarse language, bit long for what I hoped.

A/N — was feeling cute. So sorry if you don't understand what Bluey is. Also, not really based on the most recent match as there are several changes.

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You were waiting for your mama to finish the bunny loops on her shoelaces, humming the Bluey theme song with your Bingo toy in one hand and Gunnersauris in the other.

You swung your legs from your mama’s cubby, where your coat was pooled around your waist. Auntie Stephy was talking to Beth, and Auntie Lani wasn't in the Changing Rooms, even though she was here, playing today.

Your mama told you that Auntie Lani was playing for the other team, and it wasn't the same as when you were back with all of your other Aunties. It was the same as when mama versed Macca and Mini, and Sammy — but Sammy was watching Macca and Mini’s game instead of playing, which you aren't quite sure you understand.

Sammy’s wife-but-not-girlfriend — you couldn't remember the name — Kristie also played for West Ham, but she only picks you up when you're running away from Sammy trying to tickle your tummy.

You also remember seeing Harper last week, showing her your Bingo toy, and playing hot potato with her in the stands. You love Harper, she is your only friend who knows about Bluey, and she's Australian like you. In Kindergarten, you and Harper are the only ones who speak the way you do. Your mama always asked you whether your classmates would tease you, but Harper would poke her tongue out at them, and you’d ignore them and play with Harper instead.

Your Gunnersauris was lying next to your coat, and your Bingo toy was snuggled under your arm. You were wearing your mama’s Tillie’s jersey because you liked it more than the one she was wearing now. Your Auntie Ky would call the other jersey the Cotton Candy Jersey, and you liked Cotton Candy, so you wore that Jersey when everyone else was. You liked wearing your mama’s jersey because it had your last name on the back too, and number nine was your favourite number so that made it the best. Mama said you were born on the ninth of September, which is the ninth month, so you are very special.

But the most special thing about today was that you were in charge of the Lolly Jar.

“Mama, when we going?” You asked, patting Bingo’s head, hoping she was comfortable where she was. You were slouching against the wall, watching Mama pull up her socks over her shin pads.

She looked up at you and smiled, using her thumb to graze your cheek. “Few minutes, Bug, you excited?”

You nodded your head. “Wanna see Auntie Lani and Mary. Will they sit with me with the Lolly Jar?”

“No, Bug, they sit with the other City girls.” Mama picked you up, propping you onto her hip, jutting you slightly. “But you're sitting with Stephy for the first half, then Vivid and Laura when Stephy comes on. But if I let you take care of the Lolly Jar, you've got to share, okay?”

You weren't too keen on sharing your lollies, especially your strawberry and cream ones, but Laura liked the Sour candy that was too hard for your teeth, and Vivi said that she thinks Snoep is bad for your teeth, so you think you’ll survive.

“Mama want a Lolly?” You asked, motioning towards the jar filled with lollies of all sorts.

“No, thank you, Bub.” Mama laughs, kissing your cheeks and tucking away your fly-away hairs.

“Can I have a lolly, Bug?” Your little body turned to face the voice.

Ky Ky was walking towards you with a warm grin, her hand coming up to fiddle with your collar. You giggled when her finger came in contact with your neck, sending giggles to echo through the room.

“Ky ky no manners.” You spoke, nuzzling your head further into Mama’s neck. Your mama laughed at Kyra’s dejected countenance.

“Yes, you're right,” The younger Aussie player admitted, shaking her head and pretending to act frustrated at herself for forgetting such a thing.

You, however, didn't catch onto her sarcasm, feeling a wave of empathy surging over you. You pulled your arms away from Mama, reaching out and whining for Ky Ky to hold you instead. Your mama handled her over, and you gripped the back of Kyra’s shirt as she danced with you in her arms.

“Ky Ky ‘gonna score today?” You asked, feeling the nip of the cool air shiver down your spine as the girls started exiting into the tunnel.

“I’ll try my best for you, Bub. You've just got to cheer extra loud for me, deal?” Ky held you impossibly close to her chest, her arm protecting you from feeling flimsy, and her body cradling the front half of your body from the cold.

“Will give you extra lollies and cuddles if you do.” You could see Leah at the front of the line with her big red ribbon around her arm, though Mama had told you it was an armband. You told your mama that they should do ribbons instead, hoping she could change it soon because ribbons were very pretty.

You had two yellow ribbons in each of your pigtails, which Lessi had done for you on the bus ride. Lessi was the best cuddle buddy, after Mama and Ky. She would rub and scratch your back with her nails gently, and let you trace her tattoos on her hands. Lessi was your favourite cuddle buddy, even if she wasn't the best. She was always the one you fell asleep on, and she’d always share her blanket with you when you sat next to her on the bench.

“If you don't score, I’ll just give you cuddles.” You muttered, readjusting your position in Kyra’s arms. She helped you by lifting you just above her hip, your legs locked around her waist. “Cuddles are never not allowed.”

“That's very sweet, Bub, thank you.”

“That's okay. Love you, Ky Ky.” You added, not noticing your Mama coming up behind you.

“Hey, Bub, time to put on your coat.” She said, slowly threading your small arms through the holes of the thick fabric. While your body moved without fuss, you made sure to whine a little loudly and huff to show how much you didn't like wearing your coat.

The people who loved your mama — not as much as you — and watched her play with her teammates weren't always allowed to see you. The people in the stands would inevitably catch sight of your chubby cheeks and small figure huddled in a mound of warm clothes and cuddles, whether that be during the lineup or when you were sitting on the bench.

Mama didn't like people seeing your face on their phones. She told you that cameras could cause you to feel big girl emotions, and while you were a big girl, Mama always tried her best to keep you discreet.

You didn't care all that much. Lessi would let you take funny videos with filters on your face when you talk with her on long bus rides. Stephy and Bethy would do dancing videos with you, which you love. So overall, you weren't too concerned with missing out on all that much.

But sometimes you felt like you wanted to be normal. You were cold, obviously, and the coat would warm you up, but you knew your mama wanted you to put it on for a different reason.

“Wanna stay with Ky for standing, Mama. Don't want the coat.”

Kyra acted like she had zoned out of the conversation, not sure how to manage a discussion that sounded so innocent, but had a deeper meaning behind it.

“As long as Kyra’s okay with it then you can.” Caitlin took your hand, squeezing it and zipping up your coat. “But you need to keep this on or else you’ll get a stuffy nose and a sore throat.”

“Still want my Lolly Jar.” You mumbled, not entirely content with the defeat in your situation.

Your Mama nodded, swiping your cheek. “Auntie Steph has got it in her lap for when you sit with her, alright?”

While you weren't awfully content with her decision, you sulked as you let the sleeves cover your body, hearing the zip dousing your body in a new-found warmth. You would never admit that the sensation was relieving, but you chose to snuggle back into Kyra’s chest when both teams started walking out into the crisp air.

There were a few smiles exchanged between the teams, but you understood that they both wanted to win and have the ball more than the other. Your yellow jersey stuck out under your coat, your pigtails and their bright yellow ribbons drawing more attention to yourself as usual. Your face was clasped into Ky’s neck, her body bobbing you up and down in swift motions. The crowd was beaming in excitement as everyone shook hands. You were too busy playing with the hem of Kyra’s jersey to notice the people rubbing your back and smiling.

“Cuddles now?” You asked your Ky Ky, prodding to the comfy chairs where Steph, and Kim were chatting in hushed whispers. Wally and Cloé were laughing with Stina and Laia, but you couldn't find your Auntie Vivi anywhere.

“I'm playing with your mama, Bug,” Ky spoke, rubbing your back as the two of you trudged over to the bench. “You're gonna show everyone your Lollies, aren't you? Mama said Stephy has the jar.”

You knew that Mama only gave you your lolly jar when you were feeling restless before a game. Sometimes, you just want to be attached to someone, whether that be Mama, Ky, or especially Vivi. You weren't used to not having your Auntie by your side during matches. When your Aunties had sore knees, you would sit with them in the crowd, showing them Bingo and bouncing ecstatically in your seat when they’d play games with you.

Bethy always let you swing your legs, and Lau would squish your cheeks and play Bingo games with you. Lau would make you giggle when Lee was talking about the game, and you’d clamour into the blonde’s lap and babble on about how she was a nervous Nelly, cause that's what your Mama calls you when you go to school sometimes.

Bethy wouldn't always let you have your Lolly jar, even though your Mama gave it to you. She said that it made you wiggle more and wiggles were hard to get rid of. But Vivi would always slip you some strawberry and cream lollies when Bethy wasn't looking. She’d make sure you always had a handful of your favourites when Beth was Roo immersed in the game.

You loved your Vivi.

It wasn't too bad when Bethy left, because you still had Vivi, Lee, and Lau, but then Vivi left, and now Lee, and so Lau sits in the stands with other people, and Mama doesn't want to leave Laura to take of you by herself, especially when her knee was only just mending fully.

But Vivi must've hurt her knee again because you saw her and Lau sitting in the stands without you.

It made you even more restless knowing that neither Ky nor Viv was there to play with you. You loved all of your Aunties, but some of them didn't have cuddles like Ky.

“Hello, Bug!” You heard your Auntie Stephy say. Kyra was careful in sparing the last of your affection, kneeling in front of Steph and peeling you off her slowly.

You didn't answer your Aunt, feeling what your mama called big girl feelings when Kyra kissed your forehead and ran towards the team. You latched onto Steph, who was going to put you down beside her before you curled into her lap. She wrapped her arms over your small body, pulling her blanket over the top of both of you so that you were in a cocoon of warmth.

You grabbed Steph’s pointer finger and squeezed. Bingo was facing the grassy field while you had your head towards Lia.

“Are you playing with Mama today?” You asked, settling one of your arms over Lia’s lap.

Lia and your Mama were in love like Vivi and Beth, but Mama says that their friends now. You don't remember a lot without Wally living with you, but Wally wasn't your Mama like Mama was your Mama. You were Mama’s more than anyone else. Auntie Lani always called you Cait, and Auntie Macca would say that you were your Mama’s twin.

Lia was a very nice cuddle buddy. She read bedtime stories to you and let you sleep in her and Mama’s bed if Mama was already asleep.

But now Wally didn't live with you anymore, and the bed was a lot bigger without two cuddle buddies.

“I might be after the second half, but right now I'm here with you,” Lia answered, squeezing your flushed cheeks before drawing patterns on your hand.

You looked up at Steph, reaching for her face, and settling your hand on her cheek. “Where’s Lani and Flower?”

Wally and Kim laughed from either side of you. Mary’s real name wasn't Flower, but she was pretty like a flower, and you thought that Mary smelt like a flower too, so that's what stuck. You made the mistake of looking at your Mama’s team, unable to spot your Australian friends amidst the team.

“They're both on the bench, Bug.”

You peered across the seats around you, only finding Arsenal girls.

“Not this bench, darling.” Stephy shook her head. “Different one.”

“Why not all together?” You asked, folding your arms across your chest. The ball went out of play, and you forgot your question when you saw Mama retrieving the ball.

You squealed when your Mama waved, putting your hands in your mouth and blushing when one of the Lani-Flower teammates gushed at you in adoration.

The Lani-Flower teammate was blonde, and wore a ponytail very high on her head. While she wasn't someone you were particularly familiar with, you made the effort to wave meekly at her, feeling a blush film across your face when the woman waved back.

“Classic Hempo.” You heard someone say, and you wondered whether Hempo was your friend or not. She wasn't an Australian like you, because you had never seen her back home. Maybe she was one of Bethy’s friends, because when she yelled, she sounded a lot like her friends.

“Wanna give her one of my Lollies.” You announced, looking down at the jar that Steph had put on the floor, reaching down and using all of your strength to get it on your lap.

“Maybe after the game, Bug,” Steph spoke, opening the jar, and letting you pop one of the sweets into your mouth. “Lauren is playing at the moment. If you want, you can give her one at the very end, okay?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Who’s Lauren?”

Steph sighed, shaking her head with a soft smile. “The girl that just waved at you.”

“Hempo?”

“Yes, darling, Hempo.”

The game continued on for what felt like forever. No one was scoring goals, not even your Mama. Most of the girls on the bench had grown anxious leading into halftime, and now it was Steph who was playing with your hands as you watched both teams tread towards the Changing Rooms.

Kim was very scary at times, even when her scariness was directed at you. She was very, very stern, and sometimes you had to cover Bingo’s ears because what she was saying was not always appropriate for younger ears.

Lee was also letting out her frustration. Leah was definitely opposed to the lack of goals since she was encouraging all of the girls to get back out there and try harder. You wondered why the Lani-Flower Team was so hard to beat when Mary and Lani weren't even playing. You’d understand if they were on the field, but they must've had superpowers that made the team really good because they were on the bench that you couldn't see.

Leah had the big band around her arm — the one you thought should be a ribbon but wasn't. You wore your ribbons all the time, at home, school, games, everywhere. Mama would send photos to your Auntie Hayley all the time, showing how her legacy was proven charismatic on her daughter.

Hayley was someone you missed a lot, especially when she and Mama never versed each other. When you were in Australia, Hayley would do your hair, and she’d use her own special ribbons. She would spend a lot of time with you. She and Ellie Belly would go out with you on what they called ‘Big Girl Days’, where you’d play at the park, get ice cream, and go to the movies, all in one day. You loved Ellie Belly, she was as silly as you. She loved blowing raspberries on your tummy. She was always throwing you up in the air, giving your Mama a surprised face.

You wanted a Big Girl Day now, you thought to yourself. The weather in London wasn't nice. You liked swimming with Harper and Harley. You liked spending time with your Australian Aunties in the sun.

You were sitting in Lessi’s lap, keeping yourself still as she redid her hair. Your coat was left on your seat on the bench, but the Changing Rooms were nice and cosy so no one paid much attention. Your Mama was fixing her hair as well, something everyone seemed to do, so you paddled over to her and tugged on her shorts.

“Hold on a second, Bug,” Mama spoke, smiling down at you, patting the wispy bits of your hair behind your ears.

You didn't want to wait, so you sighed and waddled to the next available person.

You tugged on Katie’s shorts, latching onto her leg and beaming at the woman’s immediate reaction.

“Well, hello, Miss Yellow!” She uttered, jostling your bright-coloured jersey and fixing your ribbons.

“I'm not Miss Yellow!” You laughed loudly, swatting away her hand. “I'm Bug!”

“You're a bug and yellow?!” Katie’s eyebrows raised as she pretended to be shocked. Everyone looked on in adoration, but to you her shock was real. Your laughter emulsified. “That means you're a Bee!”

“No, I'm not a BumbleBee!” You grinned, clasping your arms around her neck, soaking in the way she held you close. “I'm just Bug!”

“Oh, you're bug!” Katie huffed, shaking her head and sighing. “You scared me, Bug. I thought you were a Bee.”

“A Bumblebee, Katie.”

“That's right, a Bumblebee.”

You huffed, deciding that you were just smarter. “You're so silly, Katie.”

Katie let you run over to Mama, who swung you playfully all the way to the bench again.

Everyone was coming back onto the pitch, and the refs blew their loud whistles so that they could start kicking the ball. Both teams were a little bit more aggressive in everything they did. Katie was pushing and getting shoved, and Hempo was doing the same. Another blonde Lani-Flower girl was getting angry at Katie, but the Refs didn't put up their naughty cards so the game went on.

It had been a little while since you were sitting alone on the bench with just Bingo and your Lolly Jar. You scanned the pitch again, wondering whether Hempo was, but couldn't find her. Everyone was warming up on the sidelines. Steph had told you to count how many lollies you could eat so that you were left with something to do.

But you were growing very bored when no goals were happening, and no one to talk to.

So, as your Mama always said, do what makes you happy.

So you did.

You clambered out of your seat, using your big muscles to lug the Lolly Jar with you. Everyone was still playing around you, but you knew that Lani and Mary were here somewhere.

Without thinking, you forget your coat in your chair.

You were careful with every step you took, making sure you were holding the Jar tight. You stopped and waited for people to pass by so you weren't in the way, and it didn't take long for Red Jerseys to turn into Blue ones.

You felt a little out of place with your bright yellow jersey, you thought that no one else knew what you were wearing. After a little while longer of trampling down the sideline, you found a similar bench to the Arsenal one, except there was not a blotch of red in sight.

It took you a few more steps until you shivered at the coolness. You felt silly for not remembering your coat like Mama told you, but you didn't want to leave your Lollies instead. Mama told you to always share your Lollies, so you were doing what she told you to do, just not everything.

You found a coat similar to yours alone on one of the seats. It looked very warm, and you wanted to be warm, so you put the jar down with caution and grabbed the jacket with ease, slipping it on like Mama had taught you.

It wasn't until you saw Mary being subbed on and a cautious hand grabbing your shoulder that you realised that you had one of your ribbons falling from your hair.

“Um, excuse me.” You heard a woman say, making your little head reel up. “I think you're wearing my jacket.”

The sight of Hempo — or Lauren, as Stephy said — sent you into shyness. Mama said you weren't allowed to talk to strangers, even if they seemed friendly and smiled. You didn't necessarily think of Hempo as a stranger, since Mama talked to her and Stephy knew her name, but you only knew her from today, so an introduction was needed in order for you to feel even remotely safe.

“Was cold.” You muttered, holding your Lolly Jar as tight as you could, making you realise that you had not only left your coat on the Arsenal Bench, but Bingo, too. “Sorry.”

This sent your big girl feelings over the edge. The combined factors of strangers, the loud noises of the crowd, your coldness, and no Bingo made your lips quiver and your eyes rimmed with tears. You struggled to put the Lolly jar down but did so in a hurry, avoiding Hempo’s eyes as you tried to shake off her jacket.

The blonde woman stood above you in shock, feeling a wave of guilt wash over her when tears flooded your cheeks. She hadn't meant to make you cry. She was just confused about why you were there, and not with Arsenal, and why you were wearing her coat instead of your own.

“Oh, no, I'm so sorry.” She spoke, shaking her head as she knelt on the floor, making sure you were okay with her being at your level. “You can keep my jacket, I swear. You're smart for staying warm—”

“—Mama says swearing is bad.” You retorted, tears drying the minute the blonde spoke. Sniffles fell from your nose. “Are you on the Lani-Flower’s team?”

Lauren looked at you incredulously. “The what?”

“My Auntie Lani and Flow— Fowler, is on that team,” You pointed onto the pitch, specifically Mary, who was carrying the ball down the wing. Lauren glanced across the field, noticing Mary had no clue about what was going on. She looked back at you and smiled meekly.

“Is your Mum or Dad in the crowd somewhere? I could always help you find them.”

The mention of a father made your eyebrows furrow. You had thought that Hempo had known your Mama, but apparently not.

“You were talking to my Mama just then!” You sighed, picking up your Jar and peeling off the lid. “I was sitting on Stephy’s lap when you waved at me.”

“What?” It took a beat for Hempo’s face to change, a flow of realisation painting her features. You popped a treat into your mouth. “Oh! You're Foord’s daughter! Sorry, wait-”

You watched as the woman kneeled down again, carefully using her hands to open the split of her jacket that covered your jersey. It revealed the bold Australian colours and emblem. You pivoted so that your shoulders showed off your last name.

“Want a Lolly?” You asked, holding out the heavy container.

“Sure… I guess.” Lauren hesitated but nodded after soaking in your adamant state. “I'm sorry for asking but… why are you over here?”

“I'm looking for Auntie Lani.” You stated, not bothering to ask the woman before making your way over to a spare seat. “Mama told me that I should share my Lollies, but my Auntie Stephy was warming up, and Kim is a little scary sometimes, and Wally was stretching, and Ky Ky was playing, so Flower and Lani were left.”

Lauren managed to understand your whines to help you up onto the chair, joining next to you. “Did Caitlin say you could come over here.”

“Um,” You pondered, slightly sheepish. “She didn't say no.”

“Oh,” Lauren replied, unable to conform to a solid response. “Um, do you want me to get Alanna for you, then?”

You thought to yourself for a moment, thinking about whether Hempo was nice enough to stay with you until you felt like moving again. You settled on a yes.

“No that's okay.” You spoke, leaving the Lolly Jar on your chair and moving into Lauren’s lap. “You can have more Lollies. Mama said I should share.”

Without thinking, Lauren shoved her hand down the jar, grabbed a handful of lollies and slowly popped them into her mouth one by one. She didn't know if keeping you with her was a good idea, especially after Laia shot a brilliant goal, sending City into the lead. Alanna was warming up, getting ready to go on, so no Australians could help her out.

You weren't affected by the score, too busy babbling on about how much you wanted some sort of Bingo that Lauren had no idea about. You were content on the woman’s knee, happy in the way she bobbed up and down rhythmically, similar to how Ellie Belly would when your Mama was in interviews.

You both fell into comfortable conversation, leading each other into new topics as the game went on. Lauren let you play with her hands, and you didn't mind how many strawberries and creams she was taking from your jar. No one from either team had noticed the two of you in your own little bubble.

Everyone except a man with a big camera and a microphone.

The English woman didn't know you well. She knew that Caitlin kept you away from the media and that you were a very private part of her life that she kept at bay. You were a bubbly child with a bright personality, she thought, but she also wondered whether you got yourself into trouble as often as it seemed.

Lauren knew the man from City’s media team. He was friendly, and nice to talk to, but she had never had the experience of a toddler in her arms to handle this kind of attention.

“Who might this be?” He spoke, holding the camera up to the both of you.

Before Lauren could answer, you swerved your front to face her chest, potent in the way you shoved your body away from the camera. Your Mama had taught you to do this from a very young age, and now it felt like second nature.

Lauren caught onto your worry almost instantly, shaking her head towards the kind man, waving his endeavours off.

The man must've caught on quickly, as the camera dropped as fast as it arrived. You kept your head buried into Hempo’s neck, curling your legs around her waist, thankful for the way she pulled your hood up.

“Don't worry, I don't like cameras all that much, either.” She cooed, rubbing your back in comforting circles, relieved at your tense figure softening as she did so. “Sometimes it's just good to talk without them, eh?”

“Yeah,” You muttered in agreement, pulling your head away slowly, taking your time to turn back around.

The game was coming to an end, heading into extra time, and you were feeling the effects of your long adventure hurling over your little body.

Arsenal were not playing to their strengths, and the frustration of their gameplay radiated in beams to everyone who watched.

You had just caught sight of Auntie Lani being subbed on before your eyes had drifted close and your breathing had evened. Lauren only noticed your deep slumber when the full-time whistle blew, and you made no more advancements towards your Lolly Jar.

Hempo tried extra hard to keep you sound as she curled her arms around you, lifting you into a cuddle, and walked towards her celebrating teammates and defeated rivals silently. With your hood still up and the blonde rubbing small patterns on your back, you held onto the woman peacefully, relishing the fatigue that had caught up to you.

Hempo had separated from her confused teammates — who were all questioning when Lauren ever had any affiliation with a child — and strolled over to the Arsenal bench, where a flurry of anxiety hit her straight.

Kyra was indefinitely pale. Wally and Leah were searching the parameters of the field. Katie was ridiculing fans, and Caitlin was an absolute wreck.

Beth was beside herself, Viv by her side, comforting her spouse with a strained expression herself.

A flooding red flushed Lauren’s face, the reality of the stress the girls in front of her were under hitting her like a truck. She was conflicted in keeping you sleeping and running over to announce that you were okay. She resulted in jogging cautiously, nearly dropping the Lolly Jar on the way.

Leah was the first to notice the young Lioness. “Lauren, what are you—”

The Arsenal Captain nearly collapsed at the sight of your tiny figure curled up in her arms, meeting the woman in the middle and calling out to the rest of the girls.

“Oh my fucking God, where was she?” Caitlin sighed, immediately taking you from Lauren’s chest and hugging the breath from your lungs.

You stirred out of your daze, surprised by the sound of your Mama’s voice and not Lauren’s.

“Mama swear.” You whispered, not comprehending the gravity of the situation as you found a new comfortable position in your Mama’s arms.

“She was just wandering around with her Lolly Jar, looking for Alanna and Mary,” Lauren spoke, her voice cracking at the amount of eyes on her. “I was with her the whole time. She just wanted to share her Lollies, and erm— she forgot her coat so— yeah… oh and something about Bingo—”

“Thank you so much,” Caitlin said, looking down at you and hugging you closer. “How long did you think she was by herself?”

“Oh, not long.” Lauren started. “I found her with my coat on, so she knew what to do with herself. But I made sure no one recorded her. I'm not sure about when she was alone though, sorry.”

“Don't be.” Caitlin sighed. “I'm just glad she was with someone.”

“Shared my Lollies, Mama.” You whispered out from her neck. “But I think we need more Strawberries and Cream.”

Katie came up behind you and Mama with your toy Bingo in her hands. She took off your hood and poked your cheeks. “I think that's enough lollies for you, Bumblebee.”

You took Bingo and hugged her, smiling like not a minute in the world had passed, content with the new friend you had made and the lollies you had eaten.

You hoped every match was like this.

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#woso community #woso x reader #caitlin ford x reader #caitlin foord #arsenal wfc #matildas x reader #auswnt #arsenal #kyra cooney cross #harper gorry #katrina gorry

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wittlesissyb4by · 3 days

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Why do we keep letting these pigs get off scott-free? They think they can come in, play with our hearts and our heads, then cut and run and do the same to some other poor girl! Hell, sometimes they’re doing it to multiple women at the same time!

Well, I say “no more”! No longer will we let these immature men run around and take advantage of women! It’s time we take a stand! Starting with little Benjamin here.

Benny tried to slip a little something in my drink at the club last week and thought I wouldn’t notice. Little did he know, I’d already been watching him, planning a little bit of payback after what he did to my friend Lauren. She cried for weeks over this guy.

So when Benny wasn’t looking, I did the ‘ole switcheroo, he was out like a light 2 hours later.

Ohh you should have seen Benny’s face when he woke up for the first time! His hands and feet were chained to his new crib, and he kicked his little legs when he saw (or felt) what he had on. Every flail of his body only made his fresh new diaper crinkle louder and louder. He whined and cried and screamed as much as his gag would allow. But Benny had no idea that was just the beginning.

He thought, he really thought he wasn’t going to have to use his diaper, that it was just there for funsies. The way he moaned and groaned as he clenched and tucked his legs, trying anything he could to quell the painful throbbing coming from his very full bladder. I told him to save himself the torment, that all he was doing was delaying the inevitable, but still he resisted. To his credit, he made it a whole ‘nother thirty minutes before he sighed in relief and flooded his diaper for the very first time. His whimpers and whines after were pathetically adorable.

He drank the bottle out of desperation. He was obviously starving, and I made it clear he would not get out of his (now *very* wet) diaper until he finished the whole thing. I wonder if he could taste the laxatives and hormones mixed within? No matter, he certainly seemed to notice the effects about an hour later when he started fussing and complaining about the cramps.

“Just get over it,” I spat back at him, something I’ve heard way too many men say when they learn a woman is on her period, “just don’t be such a bitch!”

When I tell you: the man cried. Like, full-on bawled like a baybee when he couldn’t hold it anymore and started shitting all over himself in that diaper. He continued to cry for the next 3 hours when I refused to change him. I made him sit and wallow in his own filth while he thought about his life choices.

Reluctantly, his diaper was eventually changed, but so was his outfit. His eyes were wide as saucers when i held up the pink onesie and frilly skirt, but they closed soon after once the drugs kicked in. He woke up halfway through me doing his make-up, and seemed less than thrilled when the wig was put on.

Now, one week later, he’s mostly silent in his crib. I’m not sure if it’s the cocktail of hormones in his system messing with his brain, or he has finally accepted that this isn’t all a dream, that this isn’t going to stop, and this is his new life now. Any attempts to run will just lead to the thousands of pictures I have of him ending up all across the internet. The livestreams of him pooping his pampers notwithstanding. He’s quite docile now. He knows to keep that pacifier in his mouth otherwise it will delay his diaper change by several hours. It only took him a few rashes to learn to comply.

Lauren is now on her way over to get a look at the so-called “Man” that broke her heart. I highly doubt she’ll feel any sort of anguish now. Knowing her, she’ll have even more fun with him than I have.

So this is a call to all women, it is high time we put these deadbeat little fuck bois in their place. Take back what is ours. Let’s fight the patriarchy and turn it into a true Matriarchy, one pathetic little pervert at a time!

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kamotecue · 8 months

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how could a heart like yours? (ever love a heart like mine) ও e. morgan

pairing: esme morgan x reader

summary: you and esme were the definition of polar opposites. she was warm, lovely and a sweetheart. while you were cold, atrocious, most of all—you were a player.

you felt someone shuffle beside you, as you catch a glimpse of the eyes that you fell for. it wasn’t a secret that you were lost in your thoughts, but the whole team needed you to step it up.

you heard esme chuckle that made your heart flutter, a soft yet gentle smile made its way to her face. she hummed before giving you a soft rub on the back.

“what’s on your mind, love?” esme asked, as you gave her a small yet timid smile. you felt a bit brittle, maybe it was the comments that people would leave, or how the so-called fans would say things out of the pocket.

“i’ll tell you after the game?” you said, as esme analyzed your actions. she looked into your deep blue eyes, the ones that she desperately loved, looking for something.

she broke the eye contact as she leaned forward placing a small yet gently kiss on the crown of your head. it was something she did to ease your mind, the thoughts going through your head.

you looked at your captain, steph who gave you a soft look. how could she not, you were only a young teen when she adopted you.

yes, steph houghton—the previous lioness skipper is your mother, adoptive that is. how the two of you met? you were in the middle of a pitch really, practicing shooting with your left foot as it was the weak one.

you ran through several drills, looking ways to improve that you didn’t notice her looking at you. she revealed herself at the end of your individual training session when you laid on the pitch due to exhaustion.

“alright, little one?” steph asked, as you gave her a soft nod, but your eyes said everything.

“i’m alright, mum.” she hummed before standing up, after all you did have a game to play.

“well then, it’s time to line-up.” she said, before putting on the captain’s armband. you tugged on the manchester city trainer jacket, as you joined the others in the tunnel.

you wore the number 13, with the last name houghton on the back with pride. you were fortunate to make your debut for the senior lionesses, when she was still captain. yet she was always still strict on you, claims as it was ways for you to improve.

you looked ahead to see west ham’s new captain, mackenzie arnold—it was always a pleasure playing against her. the players started to walk out the tunnel, you held onto the mascot’s hand as you gently swung it back and forward.

the kick off had started, you were in the mid field line—both teams weren’t able to score until the 31st minute where steph had sent a cross to lauren who managed to get a light tap on the ball, sending it to the bottom right corner where mackenzie arnold wasn’t able to save.

you watched as the man city fans cheered, you were in the lead—and no doubt was west ham set on scoring an equalizer before the first half had come to an end.

yet the whistle had blew signaling the end of the first half. you gave a soft smile to esme as she held out a bottle for you, you hummed before gently grabbing it.

as you were walking to the tunnel, you couldn’t help but notice a comment that a fan said.

“y/n’s no good for morgan.” you looked at esme who was busy chatting with lauren, she didn’t manage to hear it.

you felt someone swing their arm over your shoulder, it was julie. the norweigan was literally one of your closest teammates besides the english girls.

she had taught you norwegian, and you were literally quick to catch up on the language. so, whenever the two of you were together, you’d speak in her language.

“alt bra? [all good?]” you shook your head, the comment had left you wondering if they were right, it felt like everyone had told you that.

the moment you guys had become public, a few fans had always seem to make a comment about your past. you would notice the hate comments and tried to ignore them—it worked, most of the time. and the time that didn’t you had kept quiet.

“ting kan bli bedre. [things could be better.]” she hummed at your tone, it was a bit soft yet she could hear the hurt in your voice. you had entered the locker room in silence, listening to the coaches tactics.

you had avoided steph’s eyes, as she knew you weren’t alright. and her concern was proven well, when you went down a few minutes after the second half had started.

a mistimed tackle by riko had sent you to the ground, her studs ended up chipping your ankle as you felt to the ground.

“alright, n/n?” alanna asked, as you groaned—as you felt a wave of pain.

“does it look like i’m alright?” you joked, as alanna laughed at your behavior. despite being injured, you always found ways to joke around.

“can you continue?” steph asked, as she knelt beside you. she had took note of how you held onto your knee.

“i think i’ve done my knee-“ you said, as the team’s physio looked at your knee, analyzing it.

“it’s definitely a knee injury, but not an acl.” the physio said, as esme let out a deep breath. the amount of acl injuries that had already happened was quite concerning.

“you’ll be subbed off.” steph said, as she gestured to the head coach. you nodded, not disagreeing with her as the team physio helped you up.

the fans had clapped for you, as you disappeared into the tunnel heading to the med room. it wasn’t long before the game had ended.

the result had ended in a 2-1, with manchester city ending the long equalizer as they scored a late goal. you heard the door open revealing esme who had a concerned look in her eyes, her kit was all dirty as she made her way towards you.

how could a heart like yours, ever love a heart like mine?

“would you like to tell me, what’s going on love?” you knew she knew—you weren’t one to get distracted easily.

“what if they’re right?” you said, softly. esme hummed, not picking it up as she grabbed your hand.

“if who’s right?” esme asked, as you avoided her stare looking at the door. she sighed before wrapping her arms around your body, pulling you closer to her.

“tell me properly, don’t avoid eye contact with me.” she furrowed her eyebrows, as you sighed before giving in.

“the fans—what if they’re right that i’m no good for you? or that you deserve someone better than me?” she chuckled as her thumb came to wipe a tear that fell from your eyes.

“since when do you care about what they say? besides, i wouldn’t have let you into my heart if you weren’t good for me.” esme said, as she placed a kiss on your forehead.

your lover was literally the kindest person, you’ve ever known (besides steph ofc). you’d always say that her heart was made out of gold, and she’d give you a soft yet shy smile at your compliment.

how could i live before? how could i have been so blind?

“you aren’t like before, love. you have proven yourself to me, that you won’t break my heart. and that’s all that matters. i don’t care—if you’ve been with other girls, all i care is that you’re mine now.” esme said

you gave her a soft look before she gave you a toothy grin. you watched as she gave you a mischievous look, before planting a few kisses on your face.

you groaned as you weren’t a fan of public affection, despite being the only two in the medical room. the team’s doctor had already checked your knee out, you were told to rest as it was a minor sprain.

you opened up my eyes

she was literally the only person that made you realized your self worth. you weren’t like your birth parents—they were the ones that made you hate love, they were the ones that made you a player.

you’d watched as they cheated on each other, blaming each other for the down fall of the relationship—when it was their fault after all.

but when you met esme, the ball of sunshine, your image of love had changed. and you were forever grateful to her, she is and always—your happily ever after.

#esme morgan #esme morgan imagine #esme morgan x reader #man city wfc #man city wfc imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso one shot #lionesses x reader #engwnt x reader

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awfcspencer · 4 months

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omg please write a part 2 to that Jill fic its absolutely broken my heart

It Takes A Second To Say Hello, But Forever To Say Goodbye || jill roord x reader

jill roord x mancity!reader

Part 1

prompt: requested!

warnings: angst

a/n: i got multiple requests for a part 2 so here you go!

The silence that followed your confession was deafening, the slamming of the door of the washroom stall was the only noise heard. Not only did Jill hear you loud and clear, but so did your other teammates. Small tears had began to brim in your eyes and your mind was jumbled, your body felt numb. This was not how you wanted to tell her, not that you ever wanted to tell her frankly. You were planning on keeping this secret a secret for as long as you could. Jill has a girlfriend, and she seemed happy. You would rather her be happy with someone else than possibly unhappy with you, all you wanted for her is to be happy. Your teammates tried to comfort you, tried to pull you in for hugs, but the only thing you could do is run to the pitch and began getting ready for the match.

Stepping on the pitch was like a safe place for you. Your brain could turn off and all you focused on was football. But today, emotions were high, thoughts were cloudy, and honestly, you were utterly embarrassed. You tried your best to warm up, going through a quick few drills, but all you thought about was Jill. Her eyes wide and mouth parted when you confessed your secret admiration for the girl. You knew indefinitely that you were in love with her, but she wasn’t in love with you.

Back in the changing room Jill is left speechless. Her mind is running at 100 km/h, unsure of so, so many things. You had just confessed that you were in love with her and then ran out so quickly that she didn’t even get a second to really process the sentence that left your mouth. The sentence that shattered your heart, but confused Jill’s brain. What hurt the most was that you never told Jill about your crush. From the moment Jill had met you when she played for Arsenal, she fancied you. She was overzealous when she got back from the match and you had followed her on social media, obviously returning the favor very quickly. When she transferred to Man City, she hoped the two of you could form a relationship, whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship. She really just wanted to know you, understand you. Questions of, what would have been and what would have happened if she told you how she felt stormed her brain. She wanted you at a certain point and you wanted her too.

Jill had spent weeks pinning over you. Hoping that the subtle coffee dates, movie watching, and cuddling on the coach would portray her feelings towards you, but they were left unanswered. She figured that you just wanted to be friends with Jill, and she would take being friends, even if it physically pained her, over nothing with you. She needed you in her life and any way she could get that was good for her. So when she had met someone through a mutual friend, she assumed that you would be fine with it, because she thought you did not love her like she loved you.

The confession could not have happened at a worse time as you both now had to transition and play a 90 minute football game. Your passes were weak and Jill’s shot on goal was subpar. The weight of what had occurred previously was definitely affecting the both of your performances on the pitch. Man City was blessed to come out on the other side and win the match 2-0 thanks to Lauren, as you were subbed off early, your head clearly not in the game.

“Y/N” is all Jill said to you when you walked to the bench, sitting several seats over from her. You did not answer her, here was definitely not the place nor the time to get into the situation.

The changing room was tense, a lingering feeling of miscommunication and confusion was in the air. Your teammates knew you and Jill were close but not really understanding the deep connection you both had formed, especially when you both liked each other at one point. Your teammates could tell in trainings or in the lounge the conversations between you two, the eye contact, the way your hands would brush casually, but never really though much about it. Assuming that one of you would man up and confess your feelings.

Jill invaded every waking thought you had for the next few days. When you woke up, you thought of Jill. When you were about to go to bed, you thought of Jill, she even invaded your dreams or possibly nightmares depending on the dream. The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is waking up to remember that that person is gone. Everything reminded you of her as well, that combined with the fact that she was also your teammate was hard. You both kept it professional, making sure to not ever be alone with her and trying your best not to make eye contact with her, knowing you would immediately burst into tears. Jill had unintentionally shattered your heart.

Jill had wanted to send you a single text, ‘I am was in love with you too’ is all she wanted to write or likewise texts that conveyed her feelings but each time she would erase the words, unable to communicate. So she left her feelings completely to herself.

Jill’s heart was also in pieces. She had lost you entirely it felt like, although she didn’t know she had done it to you. She racked her brain on how she could not feel the mutual crush you both shared. She was in a happy relationship, it was unfair to her partner to simply just break up with her because the one she wanted you had just confessed your love for her.

When you left in the January transfer window to Real Madrid, it was shell shocking, not only for Jill, but also your teammates and Man City fans. Jill tried to text you but you left her on delivered, unable to come up with the right words to say, unsure if you ever knew what the right words would be. Your transfer was talked about on all platforms, many people speculating why you did not renew, some even coming up with nasty and crazy rumors on what occurred. You knew other teams were eyeing you as your contract was expiring. At first you were hesitant, but after everything with Jill, you needed something new, a new environment, one where Jill wasn’t.

Unfortunately, Jill never left your mind, always lingering in the back of your brain. Anytime she would post on social media, you immediately saw it, not being able to force yourself to turn off her notifications. You had gotten close when she posted her new relationship, but Jill looked happy, and at the end of the day, that is all that you cared about and mattered to you. You also kept up with how Manchester City was doing in the WSL, that was your team for as long as you could remember so you would always support them. You also secretly always checked how Jill performed. You knew you would be trying forever to say goodbye to Jill. She had such an immediate impact on your life, your first real true love, she was unforgettable. You had noticed that as of recently, Jill was not posting with her partner, but that was simply none of your business.

Several weeks later, national duty came up and you had completely forgotten that there was a scheduled friendly match against the Netherlands. Initially you and Jill were so excited, talking about how she would show you around her favorite places in her home country when you got there. You were even going to meet her family as well. Obviously those plans were before the ‘incident’, as you now referred to it as, so you now only felt dread thinking about the match.

For prematch and in the tunnel, you completely avoided Jill, only seeing her when you high-fived the opposing team before the start of the match. You also tried your best to stay clear of her on the pitch as well. Since this was just a friendly, you both did not play much, subbed off pretty early on to avoid injury. After the match you knew you wanted to speak to Viv, she was a dear friend of yours when Arsenal would take on Man City.

The final match whistle blew and you made a bee line for Viv, hoping to catch her quickly and then go back to the changing room. Until you heard a voice desperately calling your name, you knew the voice instantly, her voice. Everything in you knew not to turn around, not to give in, but it was as if you did not have control over your body as you turned to face the eyes you had been desperately missing. The eyes that initially made you fall in love with her.

“Y/N” is all she breathed out, almost in a whisper, surprised you actually turned around to her.

“Jill” you reply back to her. An awkward silence fell over the two of you, both not necessarily sure what to say next. Jill rubbed her neck, bouncing on her heels. Talking to you use to be like second nature for Jill, but now she was unable to form a coherent sentence.

“I um, I am single now.” she admits, her eyes fall to the ground, scared of your reaction to the sentence.

A wave of deja vu hits you, as once again you have found yourself in a situation similar to your confession all those months ago with Jill. Jill now confessing that she was single, insinuating that her being single was to mean something to you. All the pushed back emotions of trying to force Jill out of your mind were now out. You had spent weeks trying to figure out how to say a complete goodbye to Jill and move on. A lifetime of trying to say a proper goodbye to Jill. But now here she is trying to rekindle everything you fought so hard to forget.

“Jill” is all you could mutter out again. While a small part inside you was ecstatic, a large portion of you was concerned, hoping Jill did not break up with her previous partner because of your confession. Does she maybe possibly like you back? But that wasn’t fair to you, but even after everything, Jill was still your muse, your why, your love.

The very very very last thing you should do is hug her, under no circumstances should you hug her. But unfortunately, stood in the middle of the pitch, your bodies embraced. Your not sure if you started the hug first or if she did but nothing mattered. You were hugging Jill, you missed her warm body, her strong arms, her vanilla scent, everything about her.

The words unspoken meant much more, knowing at some point when the hug ends, you will need to talk to her. But for right now, you were hugging Jill, the love of your life. While you thought you were going to spend forever trying to say goodbye, it was so much easier to say hello. Welcoming the new rollercoaster that both you and Jill stepped on.

#woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso soccer #woso blurbs #woso #woso couples #jill roord x reader #jill roord #man city imagine #manchester city #man city women #man city wfc #womens soccer #netherlands wnt

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neon-lights-and-glitter · 5 months

Text

10 Years Later

Summary- You and Jack felt like your family was complete after four kids, but you start thinking about having a fifth baby.

You and Jack had agreed that after your fourth kid, your family was complete. Between Jack’s career and four growing kids, neither of you felt the need to add anything more to your already busy life.

Of course, as you and Jack got older and your kids got older, Jack’s career started to settle down, with less time spent in studios and on the road and more time spent at home with family. You both still felt that your family was complete.

Over the past few years, several of your friends have gotten married and started to have kids. Since you and Jack had gotten married and had Paisley at 19, you both were enjoying having your friends be in the same stage of life that you were in. It was fun to watch your friends experience the same things that you and Jack had previously experienced.

Out of all of your friends, it was different when Urban got married and had his first baby with his wife. You were happy for everyone, but you knew how much Urban loved your kids practically as if they were his own, so you knew he was ecstatic to have a child of his own.

In high school, you, Jack, and Urban talked about raising your kids together and having similar-aged children. It didn’t work out that way, your oldest being almost 16 and your youngest being almost 8, and if there were one thing you regretted it would be that.

As you watched Urban and his wife experience pregnancy for the first time, you couldn’t help but have a few thoughts about having one more baby.

Ever since Urban’s wife Lauren had given birth to their baby girl Rylee, you and Jack would often stop by during the day while your kids were at school and today was no different.

You, Jack, Urban, and Lauren, were all sitting in their living room. Rylee was lying on Jack’s chest asleep.

“I don’t know how he does that, she was so fussy before Jack started holding her,” Lauren said.

“After having four kids with him, I don’t understand it either. Olive was probably our toughest baby, but I swear, Jack would just pick her up and she’d instantly stop crying.”

“I’m going to need Jack to move in for the next year then,” Lauren joked.

“I’ll send him over next time he’s annoying me,” You joked as you leaned over towards Jack, resting your head on his shoulder as you laid your hand on Rylee’s back.

“I can’t believe how big our kids have gotten. It’s hard to believe that they were all this small,” Jack said.

“I was just thinking about that at Georgia’s school play. I met her when she was six months old, it’s so crazy to think that was seven and a half years ago,” Lauren said.

“Like, the little girl you brought home to our old apartment at 19 is learning to drive. It felt like that would never happen.”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” You said, laughing softly. Jack carefully handed Rylee to you so he could get up to get a drink. Rylee fussed for a minute before relaxing again. “Literally anytime you need a babysitter, I swear I’ll drop whatever I’m doing to come watch Rylee.”

“I don’t know how you and Jack raised your kids while on tour and traveling all the time, it was hard enough just being pregnant, I can’t imagine doing it pregnant and having other kids,” Lauren said.

“We were 19 and a little delusional, plus we had a lot of help. There’s no way we could have done it without everyone helping the way they did.”

“Do you miss having a baby?” Urban asked and you thought for a second.

“Yeah, I do,” You said, looking down at Rylee and rubbing her back softly. “Especially with everything slowing down. Raising kids on the road was fun, but I think it would have also been nice to experience having a baby without all of that.”

“You could always have one more baby,” Urban teased as Jack walked back into the room.

“I’ve thought about it,” You admitted, “But not seriously.”

“I’m down to get you pregnant again,” Jack said.

“Here we were having a sweet conversation and you just came in and ruined it with your dirty comments,” Urban teased.

It was a week later until you and Jack came back to your conversation with Urban and Lauren. All the kids were in bed except for Paisley who was having a sleepover with her friend downstairs so you let them stay up later than normal. You and Jack had already gotten ready for bed.

“Did you mean it when you said you’ve thought about having another baby?” Jack asked as he sat down next to you on the small couch you had in your bedroom.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m happy with four kids, and I don’t regret not having another, I still think our family feels complete. But sometimes I do think about what if we had a fifth baby,” You said. “Do you ever think about it?” You asked.

“I’ve thought about it, with the kids getting older, and all of our friends having kids,” Jack admitted.

“Would it be crazy to start over though? To have a baby while we also have a 16-year-old.”

“If we can raise four kids while traveling constantly, I think we can handle one baby and a couple of teenagers or almost teenagers at the same time while traveling a whole lot less.”

“You have a point,” You laughed softly.

“Do you want a fifth baby?” Jack asked and you nodded.

“The more I think about having another baby, the more I do want one more, and I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot since talking with Urban and Lauren,” You said, taking Jack’s hand and tracing random patterns on it with your finger.

“I’ve been thinking about it and I do too,” Jack said. “What if, we just see what happens? We don’t have to try, but if we’re meant to have a fifth baby, then it will happen.”

“I like that plan,” You agreed, “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

“I really hope it’s meant to be,” Jack said.

“Me too,” You said, smiling softly at Jack.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader

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youngsamberg · 2 years

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dude this show is so good you guys were right

#lauren watches severance

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wonderatmywoman · 7 months

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Things I love about Nerdy Prudes Must Die now that I've finally finished my proshot watch

Angela, literally everything she does in this show. She's fucking hilarious, her line delivery and facial expressions are incredible and she looks so insane and evil at the end. She's just amazing

The songs. They're so catchy and we know Jeff can write some absolute bangers, but to get so many in one show? They're all great

Speaking of songs, Joey and Mariah sound so good together when they're singing If I Loved You (idk if that's the name but you know which one I mean)

Will Branner is so good as Max. He reminded me of Jim Carrey several times. I love the way he delivers all of his lines and his voice is gorgeous

Bryce Charles in her solo as the reporter??? Holy shit what an incredible voice!

Lauren Lopez, love of my life, never fails to turn on an amazing performance. I love Ruth very much and to keep that voice going the whole time is impressive

Jon's 'I'm not a loser' in Nerdy Prudes Must Die is so pure and gorgeous

Jon overall was great, I loved his portrayal of Richie and he's genuinely quite scary as Wiggly

Dirty Girl Soup - just the phrase is ridiculous and I love it

Great performance from Mariah, I love her voice, especially when she hits those lower notes it's so beautiful

Wonderful from Joey, he was definitely giving me Scrags vibes as Peter

Curt, Kim and Corey were excellent as well even though they all had smaller roles. I adore evil Corey so much, he should be a villain more often

Costuming was On Point, everyone looks amazing

'Beans cool? Excellent' did I just step into Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure??

I got kinda carried away and as you can probably tell, I loved everything about this show. I bought a digital ticket (worth it just for Angela falling off the chair and everyone breaking tbh) but it didn't really hit then for a number of reasons but this proshot is so fucking good

#posts from moi #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #lauren lopez #joey richter #angela giarratana #mariah rose faith #npmd spoilers

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cupidsdolll · 9 months

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Steve Harrington × fem!reader

[16K] 18+

grumpy college student steve, tutoring sessions filled with tension, drunk confessions, smut and an accidental kiss.

We gather here

You’ve always loved mornings, you loved being able to wake and watch the sun rise. You loved being able to listen to nature’s song, the birds chirping, the different buzzing and humming of the insects and the various sounds of all the animals that stay around your house. You always wake with a bright smile on your face and enthusiasm to start your day, you’ll turn on your favorite playlist and sing along as you begin to start your day.

Today was different though, you had stayed up much later than normal which caused you to wake with a slight frown and you can’t help but to huff as you shut off the blaring beep coming from your alarm clock.

“I get it, I’m up. Now shut up.” You mumble as you tiredly rub your eyes and stand up. You grab the various sheets of paper strewn across the bottom half of your bed and stack them neatly on the wooden nightstand next to your bed. It's become a habit as of lately, falling asleep while you’re attempting to study, your eyelids fighting to stay open as the time slowly seeps into the early morning hours. You sigh as you stretch your arms over your head and lean back some, feeling slightly better as you feel your body loosening up.

You make your bed, tucking the thick blanket underneath your pillow before grabbing your phone and clicking on the ‘Music’ app and clicking your morning playlist. You smile as one of your favorite songs begins to play through the speakers and fill the room as you walk over to your closet to pick out your outfit for the day. After several minutes of aimlessly searching through your clothes you finally settle on a Ralph Lauren knitted sweater, a brown tartan skirt, some white open toe sandals and a small white mini purse.

You head into your en suite bathroom and set your outfit on the gray granite countertops before turning on the faucet and letting the water warm up. You hum along to the current song playing as you splash the warm water on your face and dry your face slightly. You grab your face wash and begin to do your daily morning routine, the small feeling of normalcy making you feel better already.

Once you’re dressed, done with your makeup and in a somewhat better mood, you head into the kitchen while singing along to whatever the next song is and begin to grab a banana and some leftover oatmeal from the fridge. Making your way to the small dining room table, you sigh happily and set the bowl of oatmeal down and begin to peel the banana and break it into small uneven pieces to eat in your oatmeal.

After eating everything, you wash the bowl and sit it in the dish rack placed next to the sink and grab your purse from the back of the chair you were sitting at and your phone, putting all your essentials in the small bag and walking to the front door. Smiling as you shut off the living room light and close the door behind you, you begin to make your way to the front of your apartment complex and towards the small bike rack, filled with various bikes of all sizes and colors.

————

It takes roughly less than twenty minutes when you finally reach Hawkins University and you sigh softly as you hop off your bike and tie it to the bike rack in front of your school. The air is warm and humid against your skin, the breeze only cooking your skin just a smidge. As you make your way into the school, you stop when you notice a few new flowers on the side of the steps. As you make your way over, you can feel your smile growing, the flowers are absolutely beautiful. They’re a beautiful shade of pink carnations, the bright color popping against the stark bricks of the stairs and you quickly take out your phone as you get ready to snap a picture of them.

“The flowers’ not going anywhere.” You hear your name being called, a cocky tone seeping into his words.

“No need for photography.” You turn around and a frown appears on your face when you realize who the voice belongs to.

His chestnut brown hair styled to perfection, a cotton white t-shirt paired with a pair of light wash denim jeans and a black leather jacket. His signature smirk is plastered on his face as a couple of his friends laugh and pat him on the back. For as long as you can remember you and Steve have been at each other's throats or more like he’s been dead set on giving you absolute hell since the start of their college years while you ignore him.

“I’m serious, nothing special about those flowers. Shouldn’t you be getting to class anyways?” He asks and snickers, your frown deepens as you stare at him briefly before turning around and making your way to the entrance door. Just before you open the door, you turn around and stare at him, a small smile taking over the frown.

“I suggest you do the same Harrington, last I heard failing English class isn’t gonna get you to graduate.” You yell back before quickly walking in the door and heading to your first class of the day.

While you love your classes, love interacting with the teacher and adding your input in group discussions, the lack of your normal amount of sleep makes your brain unfocused and easily distracted. your eyes flit across the room with every sound that occurs, you can’t seem to sit still. You're fidgety, your hands play with the pen in your hands as if you're not supposed to be taking notes right now, you can’t sit still, you can’t stay focused on anything before your attention being grabbed by something new.

Time seems to fly as you look down at your bare page in the notebook; nothing written on it beside the title of your notes and you sigh. Quietly you lean over and ask the girl behind you if you can take a picture of her notes after class, you quietly thank her when the girl nods before going back to writing, quickly jotting down what’s on the board.

A knock on the door grabs your attention and you watch the teacher make her way to the door. The clicking of her heels echo in the small classroom and finally her hand reaches for the door knob, she begins to twist it and pull the door open. You can hear him before you see him, his voice carrying through as he speaks.

“Mornin’ Liz. How’s my favorite girl?” You watch as the teacher frowns and swats his arm as he goes to give her a hug.

“You’re late Mr. Harrington. Have a seat.” She says as she makes her way back to her desk and Steve chuckles as he opens the door fully, his eyes scanning the room.

The only available seat is next to you and he scowls, a look that passes through his face quickly, briskly walking over to someone at the table furthest from you and asking to switch seats quietly, they shake their head and he sighs. He walks over to another table and asks to switch and in response he gets another no. Frowning, he walks over to your table and grabs the chair and moves it as far away as he can, mumbling a few words under his breath as he sits down.

Not bothering to pay attention, he lays his head down on the desk and closes his eyes. Allowing the outside noise to become faint murmurs, he bounces his leg quickly as he begins to drift to sleep.

“Can you stop please? You're shaking the table?” He huffs and rolls his eyes as he lifts his head.

“It’s not bothering you.” He says and you shake your head gently.

“I’m trying to take notes.” He scoffs as you point to your notebook.

“Hm, doesn’t look like it. The page looks quite empty if you ask me.” He says sarcastically and lays his head back down. He can hear you sigh and the crinkling of the paper as you move over some towards the opposite end of the table. He snickers softly to himself before closing his eyes once more.

————

He wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking his shoulder, it’s soft and small and gentle as it shakes him. He groans as he sits up and stretches his arms over his head. When he turns he sees you standing next to him, your side of the desk cleaned up and the room silent.

“Whaddya want?” He mumbles and frowns, he’s never been on to be happy whenever he’s woken up.

“Class is over, just figured you’d want to head wherever you need to go.” You say, your voice soft and sweet and he frowns once more.

“Uh huh.” He stands up and moves the chair back to its original position. He barely catches the sight of a small frown etched on your face before he’s heading out the door and onto his next class. He doesn’t care that you're upset, you live in your own world and don’t seem to grasp the fact that not everyone is as nice as you are or was raised with such manners, it’s not his problem.

On the way to his next class, he hears his name being yelled from behind him. He turns around and sees the principal yelling and jogging his way.

“Steve! A moment please?!” He yells and Steve frowns. He knows what he wants to talk about, it can only mean one of two things, it’s either his failed midterm or be found out that it’s him graffitiing the various parts of the school walls and parking lots.

He shakes his head as he begins to walk opposite of the voice calling his name.

“Steve Harrington!” The voice booms and he huffs before turning around and grumpily begins the short trek to the principal.

“Yeah?” He says and crosses his arms, the principal nods shortly before asking Steve to follow him. As Steve follows the older man into his office, he grumbles the whole time about how unfair and stupid all of this is. Passing by all the lockers and the small gaggle of students littering the halls as he walks, head held high and confidence is his walk because he can’t be seen being embarrassed.

It’d be the end of the world if that were to happen.

When the principal opens the tall wooden door leading to his office, he steps aside to let Steve in and smiles as he mumbles a rough thank you in response. Sitting behind his dark oak desk and opening up his laptop, the sound of clicking filling the room as he types.

“So, Steve, you know why I brought you here?” The older man asks and Steve nods.

“Think so, it’s about the midterm right? And if so I have some words. Knapick’s crazy if she thinks that test was anywhere near suitable to give to us. I suggest you look into that.” Steve says and the principal shakes his head.

He leans back and adjusts his glasses as he stares at Steve.

“No, Steve. It’s just you I believe. Almost everyone else passed the exam with at least a C average.” Steve frowns at that and shakes his head.

“No way, the test is rigged I tell you. I knew Knapick never liked me. She’s trying to get me, Oscar.”

“No, you barely made an effort. And if you wanna be able to graduate on time, I suggest you get a tutor.” The principal says and Steve’s frown deepens.

“No way.”

“Yes, Steve. I’m serious. I’m trying to help, I can give you a list of our best tutors in the school.”

Steve shakes his head furiously and the principal just watches him.

“It’s either you get the help you need or you’re gonna be repeating, and you know you don’t have the best reputation with the staff.” Steve huffs and rolls his eyes once more.

“Fine, who’s on the list.” The principal sighs as he begins to list off the students' names and ending it with your name.

“She’s real patient and won’t fall for your game Harrington.”

“There’s no game. I just know what the ladies want, Oscar.” Steve says and smirks.

“But I don’t want her, give me someone else.”

“I’ll see what I can do but I think she would be best. You’ll get the quickest response and I’m sure she works fast.”

Steve huffs obnoxiously loud as he uncrosses his arms.

“She makes me want to tug my hair out.”

“I’ll let her know. Have a good day Steve.” Steve grumpily walks out of the office and heads to the main door. His thoughts become a chant of how much you annoy him and why you have to be so smart and how life’s not fair. If he had to be paired with you, he’d make it the worst tutoring session ever. He’s really gonna make your life hell. And with that, he gets in his car and starts driving to his house to begin his plan.

You’ll be made of ashes too

Steve wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing and he grumbles as he sits up and stretches. He looks around and stops his tired gaze at the small window next to his bed. It’s dark with just a hint of sunlight beginning to cut through the glass windows, this is definitely not the scenery he’s used to seeing when he awakes from his slumber. Groggily he grabs his phone with one hand and rubs his left eye with the other, turns on the phone and hisses as he squints.

He quickly turns the brightness of the screen down to a manageable setting and mumbles under his breath when he sees it’s a little past six in the morning.

“Who the fuck is awake right now and why are they trying to talk to me. Someone better be fucking dying.” The call is from an unknown number, the numbers staring at him tauntingly.

“Hey!” Your voice rings through the phone and Steve can only laugh dryly before he hangs up. Your number pops up on his screen almost immediately and he declines it, just for you to call once more. He grumbles under his breath before clicking the answer button and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Don’t know what happened there, just wanted to say it's me! I got your number from principal Oscar! He said you were interested in tutoring? Let me know whatever time works best for you and I’ll do my best to arrange my schedule otherwise!” He sighs before shaking his head at you and slowly gets back into bed, only barely listening to you ramble on in his ear.

He rolls his eyes as he mumbles, wrapping himself up in his blanket before responding.

“Yes, it’s me. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s six in the morning. I was asleep.”

“Yes I know! Why are you still sleeping? I like to get my day started early!”

“Because literally no one in their right mind is up this early.”

“Well sorry for waking you! I just wanted to see what times and days work best for you. No need to be so grumpy.” She huffs playfully causing Steve to roll his eyes, he can’t imagine anything in his tone of voice to make you think you could talk to him as if you both were friends.

“M’not grumpy. Not everyone can be so happy early in the mornings. Except you.” He huffed and he could hear you laugh softly.

The line falls quiet for just a moment before you begin to speak again.

“What times work best for you?” He rolls his eyes before huffing.

“Uh, any time after four.”

You hum softly before beginning to speak.

“Okay! Um, how about tomorrow around 6 at the library?” He all but sighs as he agrees quickly and bids you goodbye, hanging up before you can say anything else. He wraps himself up in the blanket and lays back down, resting his head on the soft pillow as he closes his eyes.

Opening his eyes once more, he gets up and stretches once again. The muscles in his back popping smoothly and he groans softly. He gets out of his bed and quickly makes his bed, wrinkles sit in the middle of the blanket as he sets his pillow on top. He feels much better after getting another couple hours of sleep.

He heads into the bathroom and relieves his bladder, sighing in relief as it empties. Shutting the lid down, he flushes the toilet and heads to the sink so he can wash his hands. After he’s finished, he runs his fingers through his hair, applying product as he styles it just how he likes it.

Walking over to the small dresser where he keeps his clothes, he opens his needed drawers and pulls out an outfit. Settling on a white Rolling Stones t-shirt and some black skinny jeans, he gets dressed and makes sure he puts on his signature rings. Once he’s done with that, he sprays his favorite cologne and grabs his phone, responding to the very few notifications he does have and stares at your number in his call list. He heads out the small bedroom in his dorm and heads to the front door. He passes the various pictures of his roommate and his girlfriend and a couple of pictures showcasing his orange kitten, Delilah, in various moments. She was wrapped up in a soft towel from the day Steve brought her home, and other moments where he thought she looked pretty and decided to capture the moment.

All the pictures are neatly hung in a long cardboard frame, colorful tacks adding a pop of color to the otherwise boring wall of pictures. The small hallway leads to a basic living room, a simple gray futon sits alongside the cream colored wall with a modern artistic sketch hanging above it, a dark brown bookshelf holding all their movies and the very few books and textbooks they happen to own is placed next to the futon, and a small dresser underneath a decently sized tv.

In the corner of the living room area sits a small gray cat bed and Delilah lays there peacefully sleeping in a little ball, her tail twitching occasionally. The ends of Steve’s lips begin to curl upwards at the sight as he slowly walks over to the small dresser designated just for her. He silently opens the top drawer and opens the small can containing her food. The smell quickly floods his nose and he grimaces as he walks over to her food bowl and pouring it in there, silently gagging as it squelches into the bowl.

He throws away the now empty can in the small trash can and grabs her water bowl walking over to the dresser once again and fills it with a small water bottle sitting in the top drawer. He sets it down beside the food one carefully because he doesn’t feel like cleaning up water right now and walks back to the dresser. He opens the second one and grabs a few of her favorite toys and sets them under the coffee table in the living room, allowing her something to do while he’s gone and turns on the tv. Quickly pulling up her favorite tv show ‘Animal Planet’ he walks over to her and very gently rubs the top of her head. He coos at her softly to coax the sleepy kitten awake.

Delilah stretches and yawns as she opens her eyes, focusing on Steve crouching above her, she lets out a tired but happy meow as she nuzzles her face into Steve’s hand.

“Good morning, sweet girl. I gotta get to school but you got everything set up for you, just how you like. If Antonio is ever a bitch to you, just know you have full permission to smack him. I love you and I’ll be back soon.” He says with a small laugh as he gives the small kitten a couple extra pets and gets back up, stretching slightly as he heads to the door, making sure to grab his signature leather jacket from the futon as he opens the door and heads out.

————

It doesn’t take him long to head to the campus thanks to his dorm being a short drive from the campus. He parks his car in an empty space nearest the school and he sits in the car after he turns it off. He watches you as you walk to the bike rack, your hair flowing gently behind you as you walk due to the wind blowing. You’re dressed in an olive green sweater and dark blue Levi pants that flare at the end, you’d pair it with some white Nike Air Forces, a medium sized gray tote bag and a matching olive green thin belt, he can see the small shimmer of your jewelry shine when the sun hits it as you tie your bike to the small rack.

He turns the key to shut off his car and opens the door, slowly stepping outside the car as he puts on his jacket. He closes the door with a soft slam and locks it, the beep alerting the girl as you turn around, your hair briefly swishing in front of your face as you turn. He watches as you frown in anticipation of a snarky remark but returns to normal when it doesn’t happen. He slowly makes his way to the entrance, purposely avoiding eye contact with you as he grows closer.

“Hey!” He hears your voice ring out from behind him but his pace doesn’t falter. He makes it to the top of the steps before he feels a soft hand grip his shoulder and a tug, signaling him to turn around. He slowly turns around, face deadpanned and he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah?”

“Any place specific you want to meet in the library?” You ask softly and he shakes his head as he starts his journey into the school once again. He can feel your presence behind him and his frown begins to form.

He chooses to ignore you as he walks, the chatter of the other students in the hall filling their ears as they continue. One of Steve’s friends, Tommy, walks up to Steve with a big smile as he pays his shoulder and glares at you.

“How you doin’ Steve?” He asks and Steve’s frown only deepens at the unwanted conversation.

“Not now, Tommy.” He shakes his head as he heads to his locker. He can hear Tommy scoff as he walks away but he can still feel your presence behind him.

He huffs lightly as he gets to his locker, one hand reaching up to twist the little knob to the correct numbers and opens the door. He quickly grabs a textbook and slams it shut and he walks away, leaving you standing at the locker, your face etched with hurt and confusion.

Even on my worst day

You can’t help but frown at Steve’s more than usual grumpy behavior as you head to your own locker , true enough you were the main reason why he’s so grumpy but you just love helping people! You should know better than to assume they’d be friends simply because you’re tutoring him, but you assumed they’d at least be better than this. You wish they could at least be cordial and have him not act as if he hates your guts, and you can only wish that during the sessions they can meet in the middle.

You huff in frustration when you can’t get the lock to open, your combination not seeming to work as you twist and twist. You swear it’s the right one, so you try once more and you’re met with once again the lock not opening.

“Come on!” You huff as you stare at the lock intently. Beginning to think that maybe you changed the lock combination, you try a different sequence of the same numbers and after a couple of tries you finally hear the satisfying click as the lock opens.

You quickly grab the textbooks for your first two classes and shut it gently as you walk to your first class, your tote bag gently bouncing off your hip as you walk.

You just barely make it to your first class before the teacher closes the door, your hand pushing on the tall wooden door as you cry out ‘wait please!’ The door opens and you see the teacher smile softly as he lets you in.

“Just in time, have a seat quickly please.” He says and you nod silently, with your head down quietly making your way over to an empty seat towards the back of the class. Grabbing your notebook and a pen out of your bag, she begins to write down the title of the notes she’s gonna be taking and pulls your assignment due from the front of the notebook as well.

————

Time seems to fly in front of your eyes, the day taking not nearly as long as it usually feels like as you get released from your last class of the day. With a smile on your face, you plug your earbuds in your phone as you walk through the halls, stopping briefly to answer any questions from your classmates and to wave goodbye to your teachers.

You spot Steve talking to a pretty brunette, her lips smiling as she twirls her hair around her finger as she speaks. Hesitantly, you make your way over and tap him on the shoulder, meekly saying ‘excuse me’ and you’re greeted with a very nasty glare from the girl.

“Um, we're talking.” The girl says with a frown on her face. you can’t help the flush of embarrassment that begins to creep it’s way up to your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to remind Steve of the library. It’s at six, if you can’t make it or gonna be late, just let me know.” your voice comes out quietly as you speak, your hands subconsciously moving to your front as you begin to play with your fingers.

Steve lets out a very unenthusiastic ‘uh huh’ as his eyes never leave the brunette’s and he begins to talk to her once more, completely ignoring the other girl behind him as the brunette smirks and plays with the collar of his t-shirt. When you realize that he isn’t paying attention, you frown slightly before making your way out of the school building as music plays in your ears.

You mumble curses to Steve under your breath as you untie your bike and set the cord in your bag. Hopping on your bike, you begin your ride back to your apartment. You smile as you pass the cars and families out and about, their joy and love radiating off of them making you smile and aw. As you continue biking, you make a quick stop at your favorite flower shop, propping your bike against the side of the store and you quickly walk in. The smell of all the flowers welcome you warmly as well as the bright smile of the lady standing behind the counter.

“You! So good to see you! How’ve you been?” She asks and you smile as she walks up to the counter.

“Hi Tameka! I’m good, how are you?” you ask and Tameka responds with great enthusiasm as she starts telling the younger girl about her kids and how the store’s been getting along.

You love coming to this flower shop because no matter how long you stay away, she’s always greeted with a warm welcome, one that reminds you of your mother at a young age. The shop gives you a sense of family no matter what happens, and you’ve never been more grateful. After Tameka finishes rambling on about her life, she turns her attention to the younger girl as she props her head onto folded manicured hands and flashes you a warm smile.

“Here to get the usuals? Anything new to update me on chica?” You shake your head with a small laugh as you lean on the counter.

“Of course, I never stray. And no new updates unless you count having to tutor the boy who seems to hate my existence an update.” You say and sigh, the thought of having to do so is heavy.

You can’t help but to wonder how it’ll go, will he be the same as he is in school? Is he gonna spend the whole time mocking you and poking fun, or will he be kind and listen to you, asking questions whenever he’s confused. Will the session end in a screaming match as he tests your limits or will it be calm as he complies and agrees to your help.

As you pay for your flowers, you can’t help but to ask yourself those questions. You know wondering won’t help determine the outcome of the coming day, and you know there’s only one way to find out.

Did I deserve, babe

“Oh fuck, just like that baby. Doing s’good f’me.” Steve moans as his grip tightens in the brunette’s hair. Her mouth feels heavenly as she chokes, her throat tightening around his tip when she takes too much. He rolls his eyes back and curses out loud when she slows her pace, her tongue circling his tip when she reaches it before slowly gliding back down.

She pulls away long enough to spit onto her hand and quickly takes his leaking dick back into her more than welcoming mouth. She begins to bob her head slowly as she uses the hand she spit on to quickly jerk off the rest she can’t fit in her mouth. Steve hums in appreciation as she slows her pace again, taking her time to suck him off.

Steve can feel the spit dripping from her lips and onto the fern tattoos on his v-line as she continues, alternating between fast and slow, and she experiments with different things. As she comes back to his leaking tip, she runs her tongue over the slit and Steve shakes in pleasure.

“Oh fuck, just like that baby. You’re g’nna make me cum, your mouth feels so good.” He says between moans when she picks up her pace and uses the hand that was wrapped around him to cup his balls as she moans softly around him.

He can feel his stomach beginning to tighten as he slowly begins to fuck her mouth. He’s close, he’s so close he can taste it as she goes lower and lower. More spit falls from her lips and she begins to get messy, more careless, just wanting to taste his seed going down her throat. The sound of her soft gags and the wet sounds of him slipping in and out of her mouth only egging him on.

She speeds up just slightly and goes back up, choosing to suck softly on just the tip. He can feel his balls drawing up and his length beginning to twitch as his hips begin to falter.

“Oh fuck, I’m cumming, s’good baby. So good for me, that’s it, swallow it all.” He moans as he slowly continues thrusting in her eager mouth, milking himself for all he’s worth as his eyes flutter shut and he releases the grip on the brunette’s hair.

He sighs as she gets up and sits next to him, her hand gently rubbing small strokes on his thigh as he comes down. He can feel her begin to kiss his jawline softly, slowly trailing down his neck and he hums softly.

“Wait, where’s my phone?” He asks as his eyes open and he looks around. He quickly gets up from his bed and scrambles around his room in search for the small item.

Quickly grabbing a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers from his dresser, he yanks them on before searching the pile of clothes on the floor. In the process of him pulling his pants up to search the pockets, the desired phone falls and lands onto the brunette’s shirt. He grabs it and turns it on and curses under his breath when he sees the time.

He instinctively turns his attention to the halfway dressed girl sitting on his bed, and frowns.

“You gotta go.” He says as he throws on a hoodie and some shorts, messily throwing his hair in a bun as he gets dressed.

“What do you mean you gotta go? Don’t tell me your girlfriend is on the way?” She asks, her voice raspy as she frowns at him.

“No, but you gotta get out like now. I gotta go somewhere.” He watches her shake her head as she searches for her discarded bra and curses at him, yelling at how horrible he is and what’s she supposed to do now as he yanks a pair of socks on.

She angrily huffs as she walks out of his part of his dorm and slams the front door. He rolls his eyes as he slips on a pair of vans before grabbing his lone textbook sitting on the edge of the bed, heading to the front door. He gives a small pet to Delilah as he opens the door, telling the small kitten he’ll be back soon and closes the door. He quickly locks it and jogs through the dorm building, down the stairs and outside towards the parking lot.

He’s never been more grateful for parking nearest to the building as he quickly spots his car. He picks up the pace slightly as he gets closer to his car, the wind pricking at his eyes causing him to squint. The short jog feels like forever as he get closer, close enough to unlock the door and reach a tattooed arm to the door and pull it open. He rushes into the car, pulling the door closed behind him as he puts the keys in the ignition and turns them, the car stuttering to life as he quickly backs out and begins his journey to the library.

He passes different trees, stores and restaurants on his way. The world seeming to move in slow motion and he huffs angrily.

Fuck you for being so smart and fuck you and your schedules. He hates you, if it weren’t for him needing a tutor, he’d be balls deep inside of the brunette from earlier.

All the hell you gave me

He huffs in annoyance as he pulls into the parking lot of the library, choosing to park in the spot closest to the building he spots your bike sitting in the rack all tied up and he’s kinda grateful you chose to stay. He turns off the car and quickly heads to the entrance as he clicks the button on his keys to lock the door. He opens the door and looks around, tall bookshelves lining the walls and standing in straight rows block his view of finding you.

He huffs as he wanders through the library, eyes scanning for any sign of you in between the walls of books and at the tables scattered throughout the empty spaces. As he wanders through the building and makes his way to the back of the library, he can’t help but to feel a slight flutter in his chest; it’s definitely not one of excitement but he doesn’t think he’s nervous so he’s not sure what exactly he’s feeling.

His eyes scan over his surroundings and he finally spots you standing at one of the empty tables in the corner. He begins to slowly make his way over to you and he watches as you begin to put all of your belongings into the tote bag. Even though he can tell you’re upset, you still manage to gently place everything away. He clears his throat and you quickly turns around, your eyes narrowed and a frown sits on your face as you glare at him.

You gently place your bag on the back of a nearby empty chair and begin to cross your arms.

“You’re late..” Your voice wavers but he knows better than to comment on it. He chooses to avoid the conversation, simply nodding in response as he moves to sit down next to your bag.

“No explanation? I think I deserve something since you’re over an hour late Steve. You were supposed to text me and let me know…” You pull your textbooks out from your tote bag and set them gently on the table.

You sigh softly as you pull a couple worksheets from one of your binders and set them alongside the textbook.

“You know.. don’t even know why I allowed myself to get upset, you were never one to be on time.” You say with a small laugh and he furrows his eyebrows ever slightly, the frown only increasing with every sentence that comes from her lips.

He’s never been so close to you like this and it throws him off. He can make out the mascara coated lashes that fan your cheeks with every blink and your perfume fills his nose which only increases his already grumpy mood. In a feeble attempt to distract himself, he scoots his chair away from you subtly and rests his head on the back of his hand.

The library’s quiet, the only sound in the room is the humming of the air conditioner and the faint shuffling from the students as the walk around. The smell of old books fills the air and a few rays of light filter through the glass windows sitting high on the white painted walls. Students walk in, idly whispering among each other as they quickly silence their phones as they walk over the tall wooden shelves and search for the book they need.

His eyes quickly flit back to yours, his brown orbs meeting soft irises filled with annoyance as you tilt your head to the left ever so slightly.

“You’re not even listening to me. I’m trying to explain all these so your attention would be very much appreciated.” You say and he hums quickly, eyes staring straight ahead as he crosses his arms and leans back into the uncomfortable wooden chair.

As you begin to explain the basics of poetry, pointing to all the different elements as you list them off, Steve can feel his mind wandering once again. Small glimpses of happier times, easier ones flash through his mind, quickly jumping from one scene to the other. He breathes through his nose in annoyance, the action not going unnoticed by you but you choose not to speak on it. You figure you’ll allow him to wallow in his grumpiness as long as he pays attention.

You can’t help but to sneak peeks of Steve as you speak, turning your head ever so often as you explain what each element is and why it’s important. A couple stray strands of hair have fallen and frame his face, a furrow formed in the middle of his brows as he stares at the middle of his side of the table, and you can’t help but the smile softly at the fond memories.

“Reminds you of something?” You ask and all you get in return is a very soft grunt, one that could be considered either agreement or disagreement.

You gently turn the pages towards the grumpy boy sitting next to you, your polished finger points to the beginning part of the poem.

“Can you tell me what this is?” You ask, your voice slightly above a whisper so he can hear you. He hums once, turning his gaze to you as a small smirk begins to form on his lips. He shrugs once as he pushes the paper away with one hand, his intense gaze never leaving yours. He watches your features begin to harden and turn into frustration.

Your brows begin to furrow and your mouth turns downwards, your eyes darting between his and the paper on the table as he pushes it away. You stare at him in disbelief before shaking your head and shutting your eyes, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose as you sigh.

“I can’t do the work for you Steve, you have to do it so you can remember it. You don’t wanna fail again do you?” He hums twice as he keeps his gaze on your face, mapping out the three little lines resting in the middle of your eyebrows.

You bring one hand over to the discarded paper and pull it back towards him, your eyes narrowing just slightly as you pull your hand away. The silence is deafening as they stare into each other's eyes, frustration meeting stubbornness, warmth colliding with cold, two complete opposites fighting internally as the stare-off continues.

The sound of someone laughing breaks the silence, but it’s only briefly; the air conditioning fans cold air through the building and goosebumps begin to form on the back of your neck. You sigh softly as you break your gaze away from his intense stare, moving your hands to fidget with the ends of your long sleeves as you stare at the paper laying on the desk.

You know he’s always been stubborn so this shouldn’t be a surprise. He’s like this with everybody but you can’t help but to wonder why he seems to treat you worse. You don't expect the two of you to be best friends but he definitely shouldn’t hate you. As your thoughts run through your head, you bring one hand back to the table and move the discarded paper in between them.

“I cannot do the work for you and I will not do it. You should want to pass this exam Steve. I get that it’s the first lesson and I wasn’t expecting this to be smooth sailing - but I was at least expecting some cooperation here. It’s okay if you don’t like me, but for your sake can you work with me here? This will all be done a lot faster if you *try*.” You say as you point to the paper between them, a finger pointing towards the beginning of the poem where they left off.

Steve stares at the paper briefly before reluctantly opening up the textbook laying in front of you and flipping the pages to the section you're attempting to teach from. His eyes skim over the page, aiming to get the session done as soon as possible and for him to not have to hear your voice more than he has to.

He quickly finds the answer and he silently points to it. He can hear you sigh sadly and it’s full of disappointment. The ends of your hair graze his hand as you lean over just slightly to check his textbook page. Your floral scented perfume fills his nose once more and he frowns at just how well it suits you, soft and sweet, inviting and comforting. A soft smile begins to form on your lips as you lean back to your own seat.

“It wasn’t that bad right? You got it right, good job Steve.” You murmur as you turn to look at him.

You take note of the way his mouth is turned downward and you wonder how his muscles aren’t in pain constantly from having to sit like that all the time. you pull the paper to you and quickly mark on it with your pen, highlighting important parts and little things you think might help him remember. You gently slide the paper back over to him and smile softly.

“I’ve left some notes about everything so as long as you study this after we’re done, next time won’t take as long.”

————

The time passes rather slowly but you can’t help but to think it’s simply because you're the only one talking. you tried to initiate conversation with him, asking him about his classes, the latest tv show, and even attempting to talk about the weather! He refuses to talk to you, either replying with a blank stare, a simple huff or gruff hum accompanied by a shrug.

You don't mind the silence usually, but not when there’s supposed to be a conversation. You thought you’d have to answer all of Steve’s questions - work related and unrelated - and at least they’d make small talk about school. This silence is anything but comfortable, it’s awkward and full of tension; it’s the kind of silence that makes you blurt out all these random questions to try to fill it so you won’t end up packing up all your things and running out as fast as your legs can carry you.

You should be used to this type of tension between them, the way he’s always picking on you, throwing harsh words and nasty glares that you do your best to ignore. But to you, this tension feels different, it feels thicker; it could have something to do with the fact they’re in close proximity, sharing the same table and the way your hair keeps grazing his hand which causes him to freeze up and scowl at you until you move back to your seat.

You don't have to wonder if you're the only one to feel the difference because Steve’s body language tells you everything you need to know. You can see how tense his shoulders are, how he’s been bouncing his leg from underneath the table for the past hour and the way he’s moved his chair as far as the table will allow him but kept the worksheets and textbook in the middle so you can see.

Your phone buzzes from your back pocket as you explain the different types of poems, you quickly excuse yourself as you grab her phone and unlock it. You see a message from your best friend asking you to come over so they can binge watch their favorite tv show together, you can’t help but to smile softly as you reply quickly - telling her that you’ll be over as soon as your study session with Steve is over. You quickly put your phone back into your pocket and go to apologize to Steve when you’re met with him already looking at you.

The frown is no longer plastered in his face but his eyebrows are still furrowed. He doesn’t look as angry anymore, he simply looks confused. He looks lost in his own thoughts as his dark eyes stay locked on your face. The silence that fills the building seems to become even more deafening because the look on his face is one you haven't seen before and it confuses the hell out of you.

You don't know whether to comment on it or to simply ignore it and move on with the session. There’s two ways this interaction can go; if you comment on his behavior there’s a chance he’ll get upset and leave early, and if you ignore it you're afraid whatever tension is happening between the two of you will get awkward.

You exhale loudly as you break eye contact, your eyes choosing to focus on the textbook in front of you instead of the brown orbs beside you. Your hands play with the corners of the pages, your thumb running upwards causing the pages to slide against it as they fall. You bite your bottom lip nervously as your eyes graze over the words written on the page explaining all the different kinds of poems and the best way to use each one.

You can’t tell how much time has passed, but you can’t help but to wonder how long until their session is up. All of the silence and tension between them is draining you, all you wish to do now is curl up on your bed and take a much needed nap. Your eyes feel heavy as you continue scanning the pages, your hand now resting on the bottom corner of the page.

You slowly turn your head to face Steve, you can’t help but to see how tense he looks. His hands enclosed in a tight fist as they rest on top of the table, the frown prominent in his face accompanied by the deep furrow in his eyebrows, his leg bouncing rapidly underneath the table and his brown eyes focused on the wall ahead of him. The question you were gonna ask is now stuck inside your throat, the fear of upsetting him any more takes over the want to make sure he understands the information they’ve gone over today.

You hum softly as you gently begin to pull the worksheet from beside him and closer to you. You grab your favorite pen and begins to write a few small notes on the empty space on the bottom, leaving a few smiley faces in the corner as you makes sure to write clearly so he can understand everything.

Your notes are simple, but you feel like it’s just enough to pass him over until they decide when to meet up next for their next session. You smile softly as you look over everything and then slides it back over to him. His eyes quickly glance over in your direction as your hand gets closer in his space and then quickly moves back to their original spot focused on the wall.

You can’t believe how he’s acting as if being close to you is such a problem, you've only seen him this quiet and stiff once but that was years ago. After he got over whatever it was, he started hanging out with different people, becoming louder and completely changed who he was.

That’s when everything changed and now your mere presence bothers him deeply, one strong enough that he looks like he’s about to burst if he has to stay at this table any longer. There’s a faint beeping from the elderly librarian checking out books combining with the soft tapping of the keyboard as other students type up papers for classes and doing research that fills the silence that sits between them.

You open your mouth but quickly shuts it, you're afraid that you're just going to upset him even more and then he’ll call off for the rest of their session. You hate this, you hate how he always makes you afraid to speak and you hate how he knows that he has this effect on you.

You clear your throat and shut your eyes, if you can’t see him then you should be able to talk to him properly.

“I’ve written some more notes on it, and if it’s hard to understand I can type it all out on a separate document and give it to you. I’ll probably do that anyways if I’m being honest. Hopefully it all makes sense to you! If you have any questions or if you don’t get something, you can always text me and I’ll respond when I can!” You open your eyes just in time to watch his figure make its way through the space and towards the entrance.

Your mouth opens and closes a couple of times before you find your voice and at this moment, the frustration takes over the logic that you're still in the library. You huff in annoyance as you slam the textbook shut.

“You could’ve at least grabbed the textbook!” you yell as his frame exits through the door, causing all the students and the librarian to look at you with accusatory looks on their faces.

You’re too annoyed to even think about apologizing, gathering all the extra paper and the textbook as you stacks everything together. You grab your tote bag and stuff everything in there, mumbling under your breath as you clear off the table. You’re upset, you’s mad, and honestly you’re confused as fuck.

You can feel the tears begin to well in your eyes as you stare at the door, your hand clutching the strap of your tote bag as you hold it close to your body. you sniffle as you make your way to the entrance, softly apologizing to the librarian as you pass. The short walk feels as if you're walking in slow motion, the door feels heavy against your hand as you push it open.

As soon as you step outside and the sun is setting in the sky, painting the sky with beautiful pink and orange meshing together, the soft breeze blowing your hair behind you slightly makes you feel even more upset. The tears begin to fall freely from your eyes, staining your cheeks as they cascade down your cheeks.

You’re upset at him for leaving so coldly after being late and barely even acknowledging your existence. You’re mainly upset at yourself though, you gave yourself this stupidly false hope that this one session would somehow make it easier for them to tolerate one another. you're upset for arriving early and staying up later than you would’ve liked to plan out everything and print out the worksheets for him. you're just sad!

You knew that this wasn’t just gonna magically change anything, and you knew that the first session more than likely wasn’t going to be easy, but you wished that it went better than how it did. you felt a little embarrassed by how little attention he gave to the lesson, let alone you during the hour and a half they spent in the library once you check your phone and see the time.

You sigh as you head to the bike rack and bend down to undo the lock holding your bike to the metal rack. You wipe your tears before setting the chain and lock in your tote and pull her bike away, swinging one leg over the middle as you get yourself situated. You begin to pedal, your bike moving on the far end of the sidewalk as you begin to make her journey over to your friend’s house.

Look at how my tears ricochet

You huff, slightly out of breath from the long ride from the library to your friend's house as you set her bike against the front of the house. You gingerly walk up to the white framed door and raise your hand to knock on it as the door swings open. You’re met with your friend sporting a big smile as she warmly wraps her arms around you.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so happy to see you! Come in, come in!” she exclaims and you nod happily. You follow her friend inside and sit beside her on the beige colored couch.

“So how was the session?” With the reminder of how it ended, a frown forms on her face.

“Oh it was so bad! First he arrived late, and then didn’t even explain why! To make matters worse, he didn’t even speak to me for the whole hour and a half we were in the library, and then he just walked out without even letting me know he was leaving!” You exclaim, your voice watery and shaky and you can feel your eyes begin to burn as tears start to form in your eyes.

Your friend doesn’t waste a second before she’s embracing the young girl in her arms, wrapping around her shoulders tightly as you begin to sob in her shoulder. You can’t recall a time you were so upset, and it’s almost embarrassing how this little incident is making her so upset. You just wish everything that has to do with Steve wasn’t so.. hurtful.

————

You knew logically there was no reason for you to be upset, especially not about something so small and more than likely had nothing to do with you in the first place. He was just being his normal self - well as normal as he is whenever he’s around you, he was in a mood and just didn’t want to be there. Deep down you wanted everything to go differently, you wanted to see if there was a chance he could maybe not like her a little less, he might crack a smile or at least talk!

The whole time he was silent aside from the hums and grunts he would answer with that you had a hard time deciphering. You had to fight back a smile every time they made eye contact but the small moment was ruined when he’d look away and huff.

The following days after their study session seemed to drag on for you. The days’ they go to school haven’t changed, you try to approach him to discuss when to meet next or to ask him if he has any questions, and he ignores you. He’ll carry on with his conversation as if you're not standing right there and you're left to walk away with your head held down and a sad smile on your lips.

So you stopped trying, you stopped texting him about the worksheets he has, you stopped trying to talk to him in between classes, you hate the way he treated you and you’re tired. You figure that he’ll come to you whenever he’s ready. So you went on with your normal routine and didn’t focus on him as much, and if he never comes back then it’s not your fault. You continued with all your studies and preparing for your own exams, spending time with her friends and making short trips to your favorite meadow.

You’ve always found the breeze blowing against your skin comforting, the silence of the field aside from the couple of birds chirping and the insects that have made the grass their home almost feels like a hug. You loved being outside even as a young girl, it seemed to be the only place you could go to escape the chaos and loud feelings of your life. You never hesitated to step outside whenever your parents began to raise their voices, or after a long day filled with stress. As you sit against the tall oak tree, the leaves shading you from the heat of the Florida sun, you can feel the stress of the past few days leave your body. You smile happily as the grass tickles your skin, and at this moment you feel at home.

The next couple of days, you still haven't heard from Steve about their next session and midterms are coming soon and you’d hate to be the reason Steve fails. The only thing coming into mind is to make your way to the principal’s office and demand that he comes to sessions but you know that won’t work. It’ll just cause Steve to hate you even more if that’s even remotely possible. You sigh as you walk out the school doors and down the steps, a slight pep in your step and a soft smile placed delicately on your lips.

You skip over happily to the bike rack and untie your own, slowly pulling it backwards until you're a good distance from the rack. You stop briefly as something catches your eye. With one hand shielding your eyes from the harsh sun as you scan the crowd, you smile brightly as your gaze lands on a familiar figure, the perfectly styled hair and the leather jacket are all too familiar to you, so without thinking you begin to move towards him. Your legs carry you through the crowd of students until you're standing directly behind him. Your hand comes up to tap gently on his shoulder, stepping backwards so he can turn around.

He turns around, scowl already forming on his lips as his eyes meet yours. His fists clench at his side and he shakes his head. He quickly turns back around and opens his car, not caring about the conversation he was in the middle of. You frown slightly before walking behind him as he aggressively opens the door and gets in, making sure to glare at you when your hand reaches out to rest on his door.

“What the fuck do y’want?” He asks and you frown slightly.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” He scoffs lightly at your response as he sticks his keys in and starts the car.

“Get the hint then, lala.” He gently begins to tug on the door, just because he’s an asshole doesn’t mean he’s just gonna let you get hurt physically.

You frown as you keep your hand on the door.

“Just because it was one bad study session - keep in mind it was only bad because of *you* - doesn’t mean you can be even more of an asshole to me. I know you don’t wanna fail, you wanna get the hell out of here as fast as possible.” He stares at you blankly as you speak.

“I don’t care if you like me or not because frankly I don’t like you right now. I’ve tried to schedule sessions and all I get is radio silence. If you want this to be over as soon as possible, then you need to try. You need to work with me, not against me. If you wanna pass, I’ll be at the library in the same spot all week. If you don’t, then you better tell principal you canceled our study session and whatever bullshit you need to say. I want you to know that if you fail, you can’t blame me because you did this yourself.” You say as your grip on the door loosens. He furrows his eyebrows as he stares at her intensely, his frown prominent as his eyes size her up.

He lets out a defeated sigh as he shuts his eyes and turns his head slightly.

“Fine, two days from now I guess we can meet up and study some more. Is that all?” His voice lacks any eagerness but that doesn’t deter you from cracking a big smile at him before you skip off towards the bike rack. His eyes never leave your retreating figure even after you peddle out of the parking lot and down the street.

He’s so stuck in his brain that he doesn’t hear his friend Tommy walk up beside him, the feeling of a hand slapping him on the shoulder startles him from the trance he was in. He snaps his head around and nods his head once in acknowledgement, Tommy smiles at him briefly.

“Wassup man, why’re you being weird?” Steve shakes his head as a frown quickly begins to form on his face.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Steve asks and he chuckles, a hand flying out to grasp Steve’s shoulder in response.

“You’ve been staring into space since what’s her face left. She try to start something?” Steve shakes his head in response as he chuckles.

“Nothin’ like that. S’all taken care of.” Tommy nods once before releasing his hold on Steve’s leather clad shoulder.

“Me and a couple buds are going to the bar tonight, you wanna come?” Steve nods once in agreement before they say their goodbyes.

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

You sit on the couch beside your closest and best friend, Leya, aimlessly scrolling through the channels on the television. Their phones are discarded on the coffee table in front of them as they make small talk as they search for something to watch. The day’s been boring for both of them, you went to school and then headed over to Leya’s house where your friend’s been cooped up all day.

“We should go out tonight.” Leya says after settling on some cooking show.

She sets the remote on the table before turning to face you beside her, her eyes meeting confused ones.

“It’s a school night… Why on earth would we go out?” You ask and Leya chuckles.

“We won’t be out late, promise. Just tired of being cooped up inside and we haven’t hung out outside of these four walls in forever it seems. You’ve been busy.” You smile softly as you tuck one leg underneath you as you bite your bottom lip.

You know your best friend’s idea of ‘not late’ is much different than your own, they’re more than likely to be heading back to their places around one in the morning, meanwhile you usually only stay out until eleven p.m. since you have early morning classes. You sigh before turning your gaze to your best friend, eagerness and excitement is written all over her face and you can’t help but to return the excitement. A bright smile forms on her lips before you nod her head.

“Where did you want to go and we’re only staying out until midnight at the latest, I have to get up early.” You can’t help but smile at her friend's excitement after you finish speaking.

They both turn their gaze to the television, smiles etched on their faces as they focus on whatever the man on the screen in cooking. You know this isn’t a good idea because you know they’ll be out much later than intended simply because time won’t matter once they’re having fun. No one will be checking their phones and you don't even know where you’re going!

You know you haven't had much time to properly hang out with your best friend because you’ve been doing a lot more. You’ve been juggling school with tutoring two different students and trying to snag some hours in at the local library for a little side cash. You can’t help but to feel bad, but there’s nothing you can do about it now and you’re sure your friend understands why.

Leya goes on and on about a bar nearby that’s under new management and is supposed to be so much better and how she wants to try it.

“They have a better selection of drinks, live music! This sounds like so much fun I promise you won’t regret it. Please say you’ll go, you have to! I’m afraid I’ll die if you say no.” Leya says, placing a hand on her forehead to feed into the dramatics as she rests her upper half over the couch rest.

You can’t help but to laugh at your friend as you roll your eyes playfully.

“You’re silly. You know I was gonna say yes regardless, you deserve a proper fun night out.” Leya’s face might be broken with how hard she’s smiling, teeth showcased fully and her eyes barely showing as she quickly shortens the small distance between to embrace her best friend into a tight hug.

“I could quite literally kiss you right now, you’re the best friend ever! I’m so excited, thank you thank you!” She squeals before pulling away to plant a sloppy kiss on your cheek causing the girl to laugh as you wipe it away with the back of you hand.

A comfortable silence falls over them as they turn their attention back to the television, the man’s voice playing in the background as he talks about whatever dish he’s making for the day. Your head lays on Leya’s shoulder as they continue to watch tv, a happy smile on your face as you enjoy the company and peaceful bliss.

————

Several hours later, you find yourself standing in front of the standing floor mirror holding two different dresses. You take turns in holding the dresses up to your body as you try to decide which one you want to wear. You don't want to put too much effort in your appearance since you know it’ll all just be sweated off by the end of the night.

You end up choosing a simple black dress, one that hugs your frame nicely with lace detailing around the edges and stops mid thigh. It’s plain enough so you won’t stand out too much, but dressy enough to show you actually put some effort into your appearance. After you slip it on, you apply some light makeup and quickly fix your hair.

You walk out of Leya’s room and into the living room where you’re met with your best friends’ figure leaning over the kitchen island as she applies a pink tinted lipstick over her lips, the burgundy dress compliments her skin, hugging her curves but flaring out towards the bottom with a open back and stops mid thigh. Her hair has been pinned back as it rests in the matching burgundy hair clip. You can’t help but to smile as you watch your friend add the finishing touches to her makeup before choosing to speak up.

“You look super pretty, Leya. Is that dress new?” Leya turns around and smiles just as big as she nods.

“Yes! Oh my gosh, you look to die for! Spin for me baby!” Leya exclaims and you can’t help but to giggle as you do a spin, her heels clicking against the tile floor with every step.

They both laugh as they embrace each other in a tight hug before walking out the door and towards Leya’s car. The soft breeze blowing against your skin and you smile dopily as you step inside the car. Leya hops into the driver seat and starts the car making sure to roll your window down as she drives down the street. The trees and houses turn into a blur, the breeze fanning your face as you lay your head on the open space on the car door.

————

The smell of weed quickly fills your nose as you step out of the car and lets your eyes sweep over the building. There’s a couple of guys huddled in the far side of the building, you can only assume they’re smoking the weed by how clouds of smoke keep blowing in the air every couple of seconds. You can see the side profile of one of the guys and you can’t help the small gasp that escapes from your lips when she realizes that one of the guys is Steve.

He’s dressed like normal, a white dress shirt halfway unbuttoned to show off his toned chest, a pair of black skinny jeans and his signature white sneakers. You can hear Leya clear her throat from behind you and you turn around to meet her gaze with a sly smile.

They don’t say anything to each other before Leya’s grabbing your hand and heading towards the entrance and you laugh as Leya yells.

“Party time baby!” The sound of your friend's voice causes Steve and his friends to look over and you catch a glimpse of his signature frown beginning to form.

You refuse to let him ruin a perfectly good night so you send him a smile before you’re being dragged through the door and directly to the bar, you stagger behind your friend as her heels clack against the wooden floor. You quickly apologize to everyone you bump into as you try to make yourself as small as possible, earning a few nasty glares in the process. It doesn’t take long for the two girls to reach the bar and they quickly hop onto the bar stools, the leather squeaks underneath with every move.

The music is loud and you can feel the vibrations through the stool, even though you just walked in the heat from all the dancing bodies enveloping you, wrapping you in a warm hug. The bartender comes over and sends both of them a flirty smile as he leans on the counter top.

“And what can I get for you lovely ladies?” He asks and they both let out a giggle. Leya’s the first to answer as she smiles back.

“I’d like a sex on the beach please!” The waiter nods in response as he gathers everything he needs and begins to make her drink.

You don’t know what you want to drink, you’ve never really been a heavy drinker, you don’t like the bitterness of beer or the burn of tequila as it flows down your throat. You usually stick with water or tea, something non-alcoholic or occasionally opting for something sweet and fruity when you’re out so you turn your head and plead with Leya. Wide eyes begging for help to make yourself feel better about your decision which causes your friend to laugh softly before nodding her head.

The waiter comes back with a smile as he hands Leya’s drink to her and turns to you, flashing you a flirty smile as well.

“And what can I get started for you, pretty?” You smile politely back at him before Leya interrupts them.

“Do you by any chance have anything fruity?” The bartender nods and quickly mixes your drink and hands it to you, it’s orange and looks just like orange juice and you can make out a few ice cubes floating around.

You hesitantly bring the cup to your lips and take a small sip, expecting to feel the burn in your throat or taste the bitter aftertaste that’ll linger on your taste buds. Surprisingly you don't taste any of it, it’s sweet and tastes just like orange juice. You lick your lips before taking a longer sip and nod.

“I like this! What’s it called?” You ask and the bartender chuckles softly before he replies.

“It’s called a screwdriver. It’s orange juice and vodka. I’d be careful with that, because it’s so easy to drink it’ll get you pretty tipsy fast. Don’t just drown it, small sips.” You nod gingerly in response as you turn to Leya.

“Want some?” Leya shakes her head softly as she sends a smile to you, one full of love and happiness that you can’t help but to send a reciprocated smile back.

The bartender leaves them to chat idly as the music plays, loud enough to cause them to lean into each other to make sure they’re heard correctly. Leya talks about how she can’t believe that you're out and drinking, making jokes about where has her friend gone because the girl she knows wouldn’t be caught dead in a bar, let alone outside her apartment at this time. You laugh softly before playfully pushing your friend’s shoulder and taking another sip of your drink.

As their eyes glaze over the crowd full of dancing people, Leya nudges you softly causing you to turn your head briefly where you’re met with a smirk.

“You know Steve’s here?” You smile before nodding.

“Saw him outside before we came in. Didn’t look too happy to see me.” You shrug before taking another sip of your drink. You watch as your friend shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Still nothing huh? I don’t even understand why he dislikes you so strongly. You said you confronted him in the parking lot? Did nothing happen?” You can feel your frown beginning to form at the thought of your outburst at him.

“No, he just stared like a statue the whole time before he very reluctantly agreed to another study session. I hate to feel like I’m forcing him but I refuse to let him fail under my watch you know? I know he can do better.” You take another sip of your drink as you begin to drum your fingers on your thigh to the rhythm of the song playing.

Leya smiles as she sips her own, she loves that most about her best friend. The fact that no matter what you’re always seeing the best in people and never treating

them the way they treat you.

“Let’s play a game.” The smirk is back on Leya’s lips as she sets her drink on the counter behind her.

“What could we possibly play at the bar Leya?” Your curiosity is getting the best of you, you always have fun with her and this wouldn’t be any different.

“Let’s see how many people end up fucking tonight. You take a sip if you end up losing your guess, and the other person takes a sip if you guess correctly.” You can’t help the shiver of excitement that runs through your body at the game description and so you nod your head excitedly as both sets of eyes trail over the crowd.

But you would still miss me in your bones

Several wrong guesses and a couple correct ones, you can feel the warmth of your cheeks and you’re a giggling mess. You’ve never felt more at peace as you lean your head on your friend's shoulder. They’ve left their multiple glasses behind as they sway lightly and slowly to the very upbeat song, not caring about the nasty glares they’re receiving or the way the bass of the song vibrates in your chest. They’ve forgotten the game a while ago, after Leya’s guesses got more incorrect and your guesses became slurred words and giggles.

You’ve never been a heavy drinker so most would consider herself a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and at this moment it shows. You’re more gone than Leya is - she’s borderline tipsy, still able to form sentences and can kinda walk in a straight enough line if she concentrates hard enough. So you lean your weight on your friend as you wrap your arms around her waist and snuggle your face into her neck, neither girl caring about your makeup that’s definitely leaving a stain as they sway.

“Leys..” a giggle escapes your lips at the new nickname coming from you before you turn your head upwards to gaze at your best friend.

“Yes?” Leya asks, your own nickname falling through her lips as she brings one hand up to your head and softly runs her hand over your hair, she can feel you begin to relax in her hold and she chuckles softly.

“Love you.” You mumble and you can feel a soft kiss on the top of your hair and the tightening of Leya’s arms around your shoulders.

“Love you too sweets. You feeling okay?” You nod your head softly against Leya’s chest.

A couple seconds past, a comfortable silence looming over them before you gasp and pull away.

“What? What’s wrong?” Leya’s face is laced with concern, eyebrows raised and eyes wide as she stares at the drunk girl.

“You’re my best friend!” You exclaim and let out a small giggle. Relief floods over Leya’s face and turns into a loving smile.

“And you’re mine, forever and always.” You can’t help but break into a big smile at the returned sentiment, one that makes your cheeks hurt and shows off all of your teeth, one that seems to brighten up the decently lit building.

The music has seemed to fade away into the background, it doesn’t seem as loud anymore but you can still feel the bass of the guitar vibrating through your body as you very clumsily dance alongside your best friend. Hands, arms, and sides bump into one another throughout your time shared on the dance floor, but you can’t bring yourself to care about any of that. The only thing that matters at the moment is that you’re happy and they’re having fun, you can’t remember a time you’ve felt so loose.

You stop dancing around to stumble over to the bar once more, both of their glasses cleaned up and the bartender already ready with a medium sized glass cup.

“You thirsty?” He says as he pushes the cup towards you, the condensation leaves a wet trail against the wooden countertop and you shake your head.

“New cup please, no drugs.” You giggle slightly at yourself and set your hand on the table. You focus your attention on the bartender as he pours out the water and rinses the cup. He quickly pours you some fresh water and you giggle as you thank him, their fingers brushing over another as you grabs the cup

from him and take a sip.

You’ve managed to lose Leya in such a short timeframe, your eyes flitting over the crowd but you can’t seem to focus on finding your friend when your eyes land on Steve’s signature hair and leather jacket. You laugh quietly to yourself before taking a big sip of the water and set your cup on the counter as you hop down from the stool and begin to clumsily make your way over to Steve. You bump into a couple people on the way over, quickly saying excuse me before bursting into small fits of laughter with every bump.

You almost trip over someone sitting near Steve, your hand coming out to grab onto the closest thing to you and you quickly grab onto someone’s chair.

“Watch it!” The guy yells and you quickly push yourself up and apologize, a soft laugh falling out from your lips as your eyes lock onto Steve’s. His face is bare, no frown placed on it but his hazy eyes show just the hint of annoyance. His eyes wander over your body as you just stand there before he leans forward and his eyes flick up to yours as his hands slowly come up to your frame. He ever so gently and very carefully takes the end of your dress and tugs it down from its resting position from at the top of your thighs to the middle of your thigh.

After he’s satisfied he quickly pulls back and grabs the joint from Tommy’s hand and takes a hit, he enjoys the burn in his throat as he inhales and watches the smoke as he exhales. He finds that your presence isn’t as infuriating like this, his eyes travel down your frame - taking in your hair, and the dress and just how well it compliments your curves, the way you play with your fingers and the slight sway you have as you stand in place.

You then quickly break out into a big smile and stumble closer to Steve.

“Hi!” He frowns slightly before nodding to you in acknowledgment.

“Have you seen Leys?” You hiccup softly before letting out a small laugh. He shakes his head before turning to his friend.

“Seen her friend?” His friend shakes his head as well and he turns his gaze back to you.

“Go look around. Couldn’t have gone too far. She shouldn’t have left you like this anyways.” You can’t help but to frown at that before shaking your head.

“I left her, got thirsty. The nice bartender gave me water with no drugs.” You giggle before turning around and pointing to the man standing behind the counter, his eyes already fixed on you.

Steve leans slightly to stare at the man before looking back to you and sighs in annoyance as he stands up. He tells his friends he’ll be right back as he walks the couple steps to stand in front of the intoxicated girl.

“C’mon then, let’s see if we can find her.” His voice gruff as you turn around and begin to stumble your way through the crowd, bumping into a guy and causing him to spill his drink.

“Fucking bitch. You owe me a drink!” Steve watches as you flinch away slightly at the already drunk man’s tone.

Steve can’t help but to frown as he steps forward and stares at the man with anger clouding his eyes.

“I’d watch your mouth, talk to her with fucking respect.” He says as he steps back and reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet, opening it up and grabs a couple dollars and roughly hands it to him.

“Now shut the fuck up and get your drink.” He says and walks over to you and just barely lays his hand on your shoulder as he pushes you to the bar gently. The girl giggles and thanks Steve for saving you from the ‘scary man’ as they make it to the counter.

“Are you ready for another one, pretty girl?” The waiter asks and you shake her head softly. Steve can’t help but to clear his throat in an attempt to get his attention away from the girl beside him.

“We’re actually looking for her friend, have you seen her?” The bartender's eyes flick back and forth between you and Steve before nodding his head.

“Yeah, she went into the bathroom with some guy a little bit ago.” Steve scoffs as he grabs your hand and leads you to the door.

You squeal before you smack Steve’s hand.

“Hey! Steve! Slow down! Wait! She’s in there!! Can’t leave her!” You yell, but Steve shows no sign of stopping. His grip firm on your hand as he drags you to the door, the sound of your heels clicking against the wooden floor just barely audible over to the sound of the drums on the stage. He doesn’t stop until they’ve made it outside the door and he stops abruptly and runs his hand through his hair.

“Can’t leave Leys, Steve. Love her. She’s my best friend! We gotta go back!” You huff and he shakes his head.

“No can do, lala. Your best friend is hooking up with some random fucking guy instead of making sure you’re okay. M’taking you home. What’s your address?” He takes out his phone and opens the Maps app, you do nothing but glare at him.

“Don’t want you, want Leys.” You say with finality as you turn around and head to the door.

He rolls his eyes as he moves to stand in front of you and softly places his hands on your shoulders.

“C’mon now. M’not gonna hurt you. Just let me take you home.” He says and you shake your head and cross your arms, you don’t miss the way his gaze drops to your chest ever so briefly.

“You’re not Leys.” He rolls his eyes at this.

“M’doing you a favor by continuing these sessions, it’s the least you can do. You’re drunk off your fucking ass and your best friend obviously isn’t too worried about you. C’mon and let me take you home. Can you not be so stubborn for once, you’re in no condition to be anywhere but in your own bed.” Your bottom lip juts out and begins to wobble and he sighs.

“Leya cares ‘bout me, she’s worried right now. Let me inside, you don’t care. Just gonna hold this over my head tomorrow.” She mumble softly as you reach into your purse for your phone.

You quickly grab it and unlock it, your finger clicking on the phone icon and clicking on Leya’s name and clicking the speaker icon. The phone rings several times and you bite your bottom lip nervously, the time taking forever with each second that the phone doesn’t click and your friend's voice comes through. After a while the phone goes to voicemail and you can’t help the few tears that fall from your eyes and onto your cheeks. You dejectedly nod her head in agreement and follow Steve to his car and you only manage to bump into a few cars along the way.

Steve sighs before coming next to you and ever so gently wraps his arm around your waist, not touching you but enough to keep you from stumbling too much and setting off someone’s car. It’s almost too easy for you to melt into his hold as your head comes to rest on his shoulder and you wrap your own arm around him, you’re too far gone to take note of the way his body tenses up underneath your touch. It takes the both of them longer to get to his car than it would if it was just him because of the way you keep stumbling over cracks in the road or just your own two feet. He opens the door for you, allowing you to get in and sets his jacket over your lap just in case. He’s careful when strapping you in - trying his best not to touch you too much and announcing his every move for you to nod and giggle.

And if I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake

After a couple wrong directions from the drunk girl talking over the voice coming from the speaker, Steve manages to pull into your driveway and parks the car. He gets out after telling you to stay put, walking around the car to your side, opening the door and unbuckling your seatbelt, being unusually gentle with you as he helps you out of the car and towards your house. When they reach the front door, he taps you on the shoulder and nods to the door.

“You got your keys?” His voice comes out softer than usual, taking on a more gentle tone with the girl and it only confuses him more. You nod tiredly before reaching into your purse and surprisingly fast you pull out your keychain, the various keys jingling against each other as you use the other hand to pick at each key.

Right when your fingers begin to wrap around your house key, they slip through your grasp and make a loud jingle as they hit the floor.

“Whoopsie.” You giggle as you bend down, Steve follows suit as his own hand reaches out to grab it and he manages to beat you to it as his right hand wraps around the keychain. They both stand up at the same time causing them both to hit their head against the other, you frown as one hand comes up to rub your head. Steve can’t help but to crack a smile at the sight before he shakes his head and unlocks your door, opening it fully as his arm wraps around your waist.

His fingers are just barely touching your dress as he guides you into the house, quietly shutting the door before asking you to lead you into your own room. You smile softly as you nod, your own hand coming to rest on top of his as they walk into your room. Steve’s not disgusted by your room, in fact it reminds him of earlier years, the various posters of plants and paintings, post it notes with words of encouragement and a decent sized calendar line the plain white walls, your beige comforter set contrasts the soft pink carpet that rests underneath the bed and he can spot a flower vase full of various flowers sitting on top of your dresser accompanied by other small decorations.

Your room is exactly how he figured it’d be, it’s something that you’d expect to see from you and he can’t complain. For as long as he can remember you’ve always been so predictable when it comes to anything really, and so as he leads you to the bed your foot catches on the leg of your dresser causing you to begin to fall forward. You squeal as you prepare yourself for the hard impact against the floor but it never comes, Steve’s arms are wrapped around you securely, his fingers digging into your waist as he pulls you up.

“For fucks sake, slow down will you. Need you alive so I can pass this stupid test. Don’t want you to damage that useful brain of yours huh?” He can’t help to add a teasing tone to his voice and you shake your head.

“Can you get dressed by yourself?” He asks and you quickly nod your head in agreement.

He quickly heads to your dresser and waits for instructions that never seem to come, so slowly he opens one of the drawers - wary not to open one he definitely does not want to open, and he’s met with a collection of hoodies and large shirts. So he quickly grabs one and tosses it to you, not bothering to look back as he speaks.

“D’ya need shorts or anything?” He’s met with silence and he turns around to see your gaze set on him, your features soft and a hint of smile plays at your lips.

“Did ya hear me?” He says, your voice being called after the question and still no response, so he steps closer and bends down so they’re eye level causing you to break from whatever trance you were stuck in.

“Huh, what?” You slur as you blink fast, your breath fanning over his face so he quickly leans back.

“I asked if you need shorts to sleep in?” You shake your head as your cheeks begin to warm slightly in embarrassment.

“What were you staring at?” He knows he doesn’t care but his curiosity gets the best of him.

“You’re jus’ really pretty, s’all.”

He shakes his head at you before heading to your door.

“I’m pretty now? Be careful or someone might think you like me or something. But thank you, you didn’t look half bad tonight.” He says as he walks out the door and closes it behind it. Your head is swimming as you stand up and begin to tug your dress off of your body. It takes you a couple of attempts but you finally manage to drag the garment off your frame and you quickly toss it onto the edge of your bed before slipping on the shirt Steve tossed at you.

You quickly sit on your bed and grab the closest thing to you to help cover your bare legs, resulting in his jacket covering the lower half as you tell him to come in. The door squeaks as it opens and he sticks his head in before walking inside. His eyes flick to his jacket covering your bare thighs and one hand clenches into a fist.

“Steve?” His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of your voice and he opens his eyes to stare at you.

“Why don’t you like me?” You tilt your head forward as you gather your hair into a bun.

“Never said I didn’t lala girl, don’t go into that big head of yours.” He leans backwards against your doorframe and watches as you take a big breath.

“You always get irritable in my presence and you’re more mean to me than anyone else.” You begin to fiddle with your fingers as you duck your head down.

Steve sighs before coming to sit next to you on the bed, choosing to sit on the farthest side to protect anything from happening.

“All I’m gonna say is I don’t not like you. Now come lay down so I can leave.” He says and stands up, pulling your blankets down and helps you get into bed, making sure you’re covered fully. His head is tilted down as he finishes the last touches and you turn your head to the side to tell him thank you and apologize but you’re met with the softness of his lips. It’s quick and most definitely was an accident by the way he jerks back as if he got burned.

You let out a nervous giggle before you sit up, your shirt beginning to slip down your shoulder and Steve frowns.

“I’m sorry, so sorry! I actually wanted to apologize when I turned. So uh sorry about everything, fuck I’m sorry.” Your mouth is moving a mile a minute, the words slurring together as they spill from your lips and a faint red begins to tint his cheeks.

#steve stranger things #steve harrington fic #steve harrington masterlist #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x fem!reader #grumpy!steve x sunshine!reader #my writing

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infinitywrites · 9 months

Text

I Didn't Expect You Part 4 ~ Conrad Fisher

(Part 3) (Masterlist) (Part 5)

gif credit @laurens-german

synopsis: Y/N never expected it to be the summer that everything changed. Conrad, Belly and Steven were all dealing with the consequences of recent break ups while Jeremiah's wasn't acting like himself. Susannah was undergoing treatment that provided unpredictable health results and kept her loved ones on the edge of tragedy. Had they drained the well of the magic of Cousin's beach? Or could something new fulfil it again?

warnings: multichapter slow burn, warnings will update with every chapter, timeline is both POST S2 and a retelling of S2 with changes, everyone swears A LOT, 4th of July party, ANGST between Jeremiah/Conrad, ANGST between Conrad/Y/N, Nicole (sorry to this Queen), Conrad's friend Danny (made him into my own thing), hints of Belly/Jeremiah, I don't know shit about sports

word count: 4,141

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I feel like no one wants me

And I hate the way I'm perceived

I only have two real friends

'Cause I love people I don't like

All I did was try my best

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

Got a broken ego, broken heart

I decided I needed sustenance before heading into the lion's den and popped a bacon wrapped scallop in my mouth. Nicole sidled up next to me in no time, refilling her plate.

"Someone's got game." Her voice was low, unassuming and her eyes were focused on the desserts when I looked at her.

I almost spit out my margarita, "You're kidding, right?"

She giggled, "Nuh uh. I got to watch you in action twice now. Danny was eating out of the palm of your hand and even Cam looked weak."

"OhmiGod, Cam is Belly's ex!"

Nicole shrugged, "Okay, fair but I don't blame you for Danny cause he's definitely been working out." Our eyeline shifted to where he was laughing with Jeremiah and Steven.

"He's at school for a baseball scholarship, of course he works out." Her look of unabashed thirst would never not amuse me.

"Fuck, that's so hot." She looked like she was about to swallow her tongue.

Without another word Nicole walked off in his direction and I smiled as I watched her get her flirt game on and trail her fingers up his bicep. My mind drifted back to the house as I downed the last of my margarita before I headed inside to poke the bear.

He was in the kitchen, drinking from a dark liquor bottle when I walked in. His sullen eyes met mine for a long moment, "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Would you shut the fuck up for like a second?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them as I leaned against the island on my palms. Conrad rolled his eyes and turned his body away from me. That set me off again, "Since when the fuck do you talk so much anyway? My god the stupid fucking shit that flies–"

He put his bottle down, "Since when the fuck so you swear so much?" It was disconcerting how much calmer he was than me. It spurred me on.

"Since you, asshole!" I didn't even realize how angry I was until the words came flying out and the adrenaline spiked higher. "Since you make me so fucking mad I wanna tear my own hair out! And I thought we made progress the other night. How fucking stupid am I?" I took a long breath and felt the heat prickle my cheeks. I should have brought in another frozen margarita.

The look on Conrad's face changed and his voice went soft, "You've never been stupid a day in your life."

"Fuck you, I'm not done!" I wasn't done being pissed at him for trying to ruin a perfectly good day. "Do you even know who asked me to come in after you? Your friend, Danny. Sweet Danny who was genuinely worried that he hurt your feelings, you fucking–"

His eyes narrowed cruelly, "Oh, poor sweet Danny who wrangled an invitation to 4th party just to drool all over you apparently."

"Are you seriously fucking jealous right now?"

Conrad's mouth snapped shut as his eyes widened in panic for a second and I couldn't have cared less, "I didn't want to steal his attention away from you, Conrad. I was just saying hi…you know, like a nice person."

"Mhm. I'm sure he's got lots of ideas of how you can be nice to him." He took another swig from his bottle.

I couldn't even look at him anymore so I squeezed my eyes shut until I could. "Jesus, I'm not gonna date your friend, okay?!? Not if really you don't want me to."

When I opened my eyes Conrad looked shocked, "What? Seriously?"

It was the last thing I was expecting and I could feel myself start to calm down finally, "I mean, yeah. If it bugs you that much."

I could tell he was thinking about it. "Y/N…"

"Unless it really was the stupid fucking baseball shit." It was the shift in his tone of voice. I couldn't handle it.

Conrad paused, "I mean, he is a fucking liar. It's…" I spluttered a laugh and couldn't even hear his very important correction. "What? It's true." Conrad shrugged miserably and placed his bottle back on the counter.

I thought about Danny's request when I said, "I'm sure it is. I just have no idea what you're talking about."

Conrad rolled his eyes and I sighed.

"How is it I've known you my whole life and I never knew the absolute stats nerd hidden under that 90s heartthrob hair?" The second I walked into that kitchen I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth. I was cutting myself off from another margarita even though I wanted it.

"You think I'm a 90s heartthrob?" He was leaning on the other side of the island and peering at me quizzically. I thought I could even see the hint of smirk under his misery.

"Ohmigod, that's what you got from that?" My face was screwed up in disbelief. His ego had no bounds.

"Uh, that was definitely the most important part."

"Oh so you're a delusional nerd too?" This was better than sulking Conrad or angry Conrad but only by an inch.

He paused and shrugged like he was shaking off the rest of his sour mood. And then I felt him focus his stare directly at me in a way I'd never experienced. I didn't have to look up at him to know what I'd find. Was this the shameless confidence that Belly always talked about? The silence was bad enough. He always did that; said the thing I least expected or never said anything at all after I did. He'd just wait and look at me, expectantly until I felt like I couldn't breathe.

The silence was never comfortable so I mustered the last bits of my courage and looked him square in the face, "Not everyone is flirting with you, Conrad."

His smile grew for the first time since he thought he was on a winning streak in the pool. The unsettling thing about it was it seemed like he knew something I didn't. Conrad was nodding and considering the statement as he stepped around the island to stand in front of me on the other side.

I gasped softly when his eyes flashed back to mine and muttered, "You sure?" He lingered in the moment and I felt a calloused fingertip graze the back on my hand gripping the island countertop. Just when the static in my brain started the clear and I could breathe again, Conrad leaned into my ear to whisper,

"Or do you save that for Danny now?"

He stayed close but he had to be drunker than I thought and fucking with me again so I took a breath and tried not to take the bait. Maybe it was my turn to say the thing he least expected for once. I didn't want to have to look him in the eye again after that, "I…you know, sometimes I can't tell and it's unintentional. Danny probably did the same thing. He's just a nice guy."

He scoffed and took a step back. "Sure. Not like you'd notice either way."

I looked at him then and shook my head in confusion, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Conrad opened his mouth as he stepped closer again but was shocked into place when he heard his brother calling for him from the other room. "Connie!"

He had the decency to look at me apologetically before directing him to the kitchen. When I saw Jeremiah's expression was serious and fixed on Conrad, I used that opportunity to make my exit. I took a few minutes in the bathroom to splash some water on my face and assess the pink hue in my skin as flush or sunburn. It didn't take long before I started to hear raised voices. I debated whether to investigate or leave them to it, if it was even the Fisher brothers at all, but when I thought about how Susannah wouldn't be able to deal with it like she always did, I knew I had to make sure it wouldn't get out of hand.

I caught pieces of the story as I walked back towards the kitchen. Susannah and Adam had been separated for a year now but he'd helped throughout as he should. He helped more than he did when they were together if Conrad was telling the truth. I heard Jeremiah accuse Conrad of scaring Adam away from the party altogether. It was true, Adam Fisher was nowhere to be found for the first time since I could remember. It was strange to think about now when he'd showed up for a few short hours the year before.

Jeremiah's tone was firm. "What gave you the right?"

"Get over it, Jere. They're not even together anymore." In contrast, Conrad sounded like this was the last conversation he wanted to have.

"You think I don't know that?"

"This is Mom's house and her party. You really think she wants him here?"

"I think she wanted him at Thanksgiving and Christmas and when the treatment got really bad in the Spring too. Oh, but that's right you had finals and weren't around much then, moping around after you screwed things up with Belly." My eyes squeezed shut at the dig. This could escalate badly.

"Fuck you, you know I came home every second I could!"

"I was there every day!"

"Okay?! Okay! What do you want, a medal?" I hoped the breath I huffed wasn't audible enough for them to hear.

Jeremiah shook his head out of the corner of my eye, "Did you even ask her? Cause you're right, this is her party and she should have decided. Not you." The footsteps were heavy across the tile as he left and I heard the door slam behind him.

Conrad sighed. "You heard every word of that, didn't you?"

I winced and came out of hiding around the corner to see him leaning heavy on the island like it was the only thing holding him up at this point. His liquor bottle of choice was abandoned by the sink. "I'm sorry...but not every word and I didn't mean to, I swear. I was just in the bathroom."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. Actually it's my fault. As per usual." He didn't move from his spot as his eyes carved holes into the countertop.

"Don't say that." My heart ached for him without my permission. Maybe Conrad fucked up by not inviting Adam or telling him not to show up at all but some of what Jeremiah said was unfair. And it wasn't hard to see that his brother was taking every word to heart no matter what.

"Why not? It's true. It's the only fucking thing I'm good at anymore." He looked up finally, lost.

"Connie, come on."

The words seemed to shock him out of his emotional spiral. His brows raised and while the smile on his face was immediate, it fell just as quick, "I can't remember the last time you called me Connie."

"I think I do, actually." Apparently it was infectious because now I was smiling at a memory I thought I'd lost.

When I looked his way again, he was watching me expectantly with the hint of that same sweet smile on his face. It was the least I could do since he seemed interested in the distraction from his own thoughts.

"There was this girl in my freshman year named Connie and I remember thinking it was hilarious that it was a girl's name. Kinda gross of me, honestly."

"I would say," he interrupted but was still listening.

"Do you wanna hear the story or not?" His hands raised in defeat as he chuckled. "I told Belly I was gonna torture you with it that summer; calling you every famous Connie I could come up with. TV characters and political figures but she got really upset and said you'd be mad so 'please don't'. So I tried to forget about it entirely so I wasn't tempted."

When I looked up again, Conrad was looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite figure out so I kept on. "And it must have worked too because I forgot about it until this second."

He nodded slowly, "Does that mean I get to call you Y/N/N again?"

I rolled my eyes at the old nickname and conceded, "I guess it's only fair."

We ended up heading back towards the party and paused to look outside sliding door windows at the view of the patio. He nudged me, "So you've grown to like my name."

I didn't need to look at him to know he was trying to shift his mood before we went back to everyone who was oblivious about what had gone down inside. "Damn, the confidence with which you said that completely inaccurate statement."

"Mm, say it again." He muttered and I shot him a glare so fast I couldn't believe he kept talking. "But softer."

My patience was battling against the need for physical violence but I let it out verbally. "Maybe try therapy if that gives you a nerdgasm." I was gonna get a lot of traction out of this nerd thing.

"Exposure therapy maybe." The mood shift was successful if I could base it on his teasing tone and goofy smile.

"I said I wasn't flirting with you, dummy." I didn't mean to bring it up again since it wasn't that serious but it wasn't the only thing I'd said that I was gonna regret after the fact.

Conrad scrunched his face in disbelief, "That's definitely not what you said. Actually, we decided you wouldn't know if someone was flirting with you. Case in point."

I could barely listen to him anymore and I gestured for him to quit it. "Fine, whatever, I'm saying it now. Not flirting. Can we move on?" I knew he was looking at me then but I refused to do the same.

"No." His response was immediate and I saw him register the shock, like it even surprised him a little that he'd said it.

I didn't have a choice then and could only gape in his direction, eyes struck wide by his stubborn streak.

Conrad turned to me and stepped closer like he'd made a decision. "Even if you weren't, I was. And I want you to know so I'm telling you now, straight up, to your face, so later you can't explain it away or pretend I didn't…flirt with you."

And that's when I realized he did know something I didn't. I was such an idiot. He broke his steady gaze for a second and chuckled, "I didn't mean to at first and then…I don't think I can stop now."

If all that wasn't enough, he wasn't done. "I don't want to." Conrad leant close then and his voice dropped an octave, "I mean, why does he get to when I can't?"

I heard the sliding door shift open and closed but didn't see it from my frozen state, staring at a corner piece of the door frame. I sucked in an unsteady breath and looked up just in time to see him look back at me from the edge of the pool, quickly before he jumped in.

My nerves were shot and despite the cool air inside the house compared to the heavy July sun, my hairline was damp. My mind was blank and racing at the same time; no thought coherent in the slightest so I shut it down completely. No more thinking, not that I could think myself out of this one anyway. I waited until I could breathe normally and wasn't overheating from the inside before I stepped back out to the patio and steered directly to the drinks table for my third frozen margarita.

The rest of the party was fairly uneventful in comparison but still great. No more drunken drama or broken family heirlooms to Belly's great relief. In fact, I found a lot of peace watching her for the rest of the night; giggling with her friends, swimming until her limbs cramped up and flirting with Jeremiah if I could read the signals right. He seemed elated by the development and I let myself be happy for them instead of diving into the complications of that potential. No more thinking.

At one point, I watched Conrad grab Danny's shoulder, both of them nursing their last beers of the night, and mutter something to him that looked serious enough to be an apology. Danny shook his head with a smile and gripped him in a fierce hug. I didn't even realize I was smiling at the sight until Danny's eyes caught mine and he mouthed a grateful 'thank you'. It was so sweet I had to put down my margarita and rethink my life choices. I caught Aunt Laur and Susannah sitting together and seeing it too: Laurel pouted her bottom lip at her friend and Susannah's eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

When the party got to the point of only relying on the patio and pool lights, I distracted myself with the first steps of organized clean up. Steven joined me not long after, saying that he needed an excuse for a quiet task to keep his hands busy. Usually I would have pressed for more information but I was surviving off fumes by that point. Maybe everyone was. Nicole and Danny stopped by to say goodbye and thanked us for a great party. I hugged them both and looked around to realize that it was only the family left after that. Jeremiah and Belly said something about how they'd make up for their clean up crew shift in the morning and were nowhere to be found after that.

Eventually, when Susannah's porcelain serving platter almost slipped from my hands and into pieces on the kitchen floor, Laurel told me I'd done enough and shooed me upstairs. I debated washing the day off before I crashed into bed but worried I'd actually fall asleep under the warm spray. I'd just managed to get into a baggy Cousin's Rowing t-shirt and sleep shorts before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

It was the creak of the old wooden drawers of Belly's dresser that pulled me out of deep slumber. The room was bright with sunlight shining through the curtains and I had slept right on anyway. I yawned as Belly made a face in my direction and grabbed her crop top.

"I'm sorry! I was just gonna change before I got to the beach. I don't wanna miss the chance on our last day."

"What time is it?" I looked around the room when my phone wasn't on my nightstand like usual. It landed on the end of my bed with a thump.

"After 10. Here. I found it on the kitchen table when I came in last night. Figured I should plug it in for you."

I smiled and saw that it was, indeed, fully charged. "You're sweet."

"The least I could do. You barely left anything for me and Jere to finish up this morning."

"Yeah, I was on a mission." I looked at her smiley face as she pulled her top over her bikini. "So. About you and Jere…"

Belly was never good at hiding things from me and her face screamed guilt even as she tried to shrug it off. "What do you mean?"

"Belly. Come on." She looked at me then, waiting. "You guys hung out all day yesterday and then you left together last night. What's going on there?"

The poor thing looked scared, "You're not mad?"

I rolled my eyes, "Is there something to be mad about? I mean, if you guys like each other…it's not gonna be easy but there are worse things."

"Wow, you should sleep in more often. Oh, don't forget to check the kitchen when you get up. Conrad went out early and got the good muffins."

"Oh, nice. But you're not off the hook about this Jere thing."

She pulled her lip balm out of her pocket and smeared it across her bottom lip. "It's not anything yet. When there's something to tell, I'll let you know."

"You better."

I took a moment to check my phone and saw an unread message from an unknown number. Hey, it's Danny. Jeremiah swore it was cool if he gave me your number so I hope that's okay. It was nice seeing you yesterday. The look on my face must have given me away because Belly was laughing at my expense in almost no time.

"Let me guess. Danny decided to text you after all." She wiggled her brows and giggled.

"Did you know about this?"

"I was there when Jere was trying to convince him. Poor guy actually thought you rejected him because of Conrad." Belly didn't seem to notice if my face reacted to that tidbit. "I told him there wasn't any reason you couldn't come back to Cousin's this summer if you had some good incentive."

She wasn't wrong. It wasn't like I had plans like Steven and Belly. I didn't need to be anywhere until the middle of August. I didn't need to shut everything down before it even started; before giving it a chance to be something to forget about at all. It was a nice thought that was almost immediately ruined by Conrad's look of relief when I told him I'd do the exact opposite. Maybe in a different world where I wasn't leaving for California in five weeks, or if I had any concrete plans of spending more time in Cousin's this summer, I'd feel different. Not to mention that I still didn't have the slightest idea where Conrad's head was at after yesterday and I wasn't sure I even wanted to. The world in which I could be excited about this didn't exist and it was time to make peace with that.

"You know he invited me to his ball game? I can't believe I have to leave before seeing him in those white pants."

"Y/N!" Belly threw her stuffed polar bear, Junior Mint, at my chest and I caught it with a laugh. "I knew you liked him. He got so much hotter this year, I'm a little jealous I didn't get there first."

I gasped dramatically, "I'm telling Jeremiah!"

"I'm kidding…kind of. I mean, I'm definitely leaving but Danny Wilder could inspire a hot girl summer."

"Mm. Period." I looked back at the text and wondered if I should just leave it altogether. My stomach grumbled and it distracted me enough to leave it be for now and wave Belly off to the beach to have her fun.

I shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen after my shower, remembering the muffins Belly said would be waiting for me. The box was on the island like always and I smiled at the small victory. I really should have missed my chance at one, let alone my favourite, coming down after 11am. I opened the box and considered my choices when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked towards the sound and found Conrad standing in the doorway.

"Uh…I uh, saved you a carrot. It's under the cake plate." He gestured to the other side of the counter where it waited for me.

"Oh. Thanks." I walked that way and saw him shift his stance uncomfortably, and look down at his feet. I forced myself to give him the credit he deserved at that moment with a look of sincerity. "You didn't have to do that."

He looked pleasantly surprised, "It's no problem. You uh…call it a thanks for cleaning up last night. My mom really appreciated it."

"Of course. Anything for Susannah."

It was the most polite we'd ever been to each other in our entire lives. I wasn't even sure it was real since there were no witnesses to prove I wasn't making the whole thing up somehow. Belly and Steven would laugh in my face if I told them. But that didn't stop the awkwardness from getting worse by the second and finally I couldn't take it anymore. Conrad looked like he wanted to say something else but I couldn't hear it, whatever it was and I was scared that I already knew. Instead of giving him the chance, I mumbled a quick 'thanks again' and 'see you later' before bolting back upstairs with my carrot muffin in hand and shut the door behind me. I leaned back against it and wondered how I'd avoid whatever that was for the next 24 hours before my time in Cousin's would come to an end.

___________________________________________

author's note: I hope you enjoyed part 2 of 4th of July! How are we feeling at this point? Don't worry because there's still lots more story to come even if Y/N thinks her journey is ending. Next chapter is a day at the boardwalk! Thank you again for the continued support 💚💛🧡❤️. Reply with comments and let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist. If you'd like to ask me about any upcoming chapter warnings you wanna be warned of ahead of time (angst? 18+ smut?) then come visit my blog with any questions and I'll be happy to answer!

taglist: @c4rpediem-s @jackierose902109 @lcvecstiel @h0t-as-h3ll @stylesxroyalty @fandom-addict404 @hellofutur @junnniiieee07 @shelby-x @historygeekqueen

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x you #team conrad #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp conrad #the summer i turned pretty au #the summer i turned pretty imagine #the summer i turned pretty fanfic #conrad fisher fanfic #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher au #conrad fisher x fem!reader #Spotify

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ao719 · 2 months

Text

Vancross

Vancross - Rescue You (Chapter 23)

Most of the characters belong to Pixelberry.

Summary: A group of friends embark on their final year at Vancross Institute with the hopes of making it their best year yet. When a new face with a complicated family plagued by secrets and rumors arrives on campus, new friendships are formed, a new relationship blossoms, and threatening challenges arise.

Title inspiration: Rescue - Lauren Daigle

Main Pairing: Liam x F!OC

A/N: Multiple crossover series. There will be random sprinkles of canon throughout this story, but for the most part, it’s pretty much out the window. Not beta’d. Please excuse any errors.

Rating: M • Warnings: This series will contain nsfw material, language, some alcohol and drug use, and is not suitable for minors. If you read, you acknowledge you are 18+

Catch up here

“Are we there yet?” Trystan cut his eyes up to the rearview mirror and stared at Blaine. “I’m just kidding. Everyone is just so fucking quiet and it’s starting to make me a little uneasy.”

“Nerves are good. Gets the adrenaline going,” Leo quipped.

They’d been driving nearly an hour with Amalas checking in every 15 minutes since they crossed over the Drakovian border to ensure their earpieces were still working. Thankfully, they hadn’t had any issues so far.

“We’ve got to be close,” Simon said.

Trystan had been quiet the entire ride, trying to get himself into the zone; he’d have to become a slightly different person once he entered the lion’s den and he needed to get himself into that mindset. But as the marker Everett placed to signal his upcoming turn came into view, he figured it was time. “We’re close …”

Trystan slowed the SUV, turned onto a dirt road, and shut off the lights, leaving the path ahead visible only by the silver moonlight from above as they moved at what felt like a snail’s pace. The path was lined by a thick forest of trees on both sides, giving nothing away as to what lay beyond them.

“I’m just gonna say it … this feels very fucking ominous,” Blaine whispered.

After several long moments, lights flickered from a vehicle parked up ahead, and the SUV rolled to a stop just as Amalas’ voice crackled in their ears.

“I see that you’ve arrived. Everything clear?”

“Good here,” Trystan confirmed, and the other three repeated his words.

Trystan and Leo exited the vehicle first, and Blaine and Simon gave one another a look before they followed suit. As they approached the other vehicle, they watched as a familiar face came into view.

Jonas, Croía’s former guard, bowed to Trystan. “It’s good to see you, sir. If only it was under better circumstances.”

“Agreed,” Trystan said. “Thank you for your willingness to help.”

“Of course.”

“Is everything set on your end?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Trystan turned to look at the other three. “Don’t forget to stay alert and don’t draw attention to yourselves. Wait it out until the time comes, and once each of you has your spin as we’ve planned, you slip out through the side exit of the ballroom. Everett will be waiting to lead you to the tunnel … and I’ll meet you back here. Try not to get caught or, worse, die.” Blaine’s and Simon’s brows rose and Leo snorted. “Kidding … mostly.” He looked at each of them, not needing to say what he was thinking; the gratitude in his eyes at what they were risking for his sister said more than enough. “See you soon.”

They all shook his hand before the three of them slid into the other vehicle with Jonas, who was getting them through the gates with the help of Everett.

As they drove off back down the path, Trystan turned and walked in the opposite direction before veering off onto a smaller path in the woods. He hadn’t been down there since he was a teenager when he would hide from his lessons or escape the constant watchful eyes of his parents. It was clear no one else had been down that way in quite some time, evident by the brush covering the path.

After walking roughly a mile, Trystan came to the end of the trail where the entrance to the tunnel was located. It had been closed off over a decade ago, but he knew there was a way to open it, and instructed Everett on how to do so. He spotted the thick piece of wood that was keeping the heavy door wedged open just enough, and he smiled triumphantly when he slipped through.

“You made it.”

“Did you doubt me?” Trystan asked as he shook Everett’s hand.

“Not at all,” Everett smiled as they started walking down the dark passageway with his flashlight guiding them. “Guests started to arrive roughly 15 minutes ago.”

“And you’re going to the gate?”

“Yes. Jonas just sent me a message, so I’m headed there now.”

“Perfect.” Trystan glanced over at him. “How’s Croía?”

“I don’t know,” Everett shook his head. “I haven’t seen her today. She’s been with your mother since this morning.”

Trystan’s jaw tensed, but he nodded. When they rounded the first corner, Trystan stopped Everett. “Once you get back inside, there’s something I need you to do …”

****

Jonas waited in the car line going through the front gates of the palace where a guard was doing clarification checks of the guest list.

“A guard is circling the vehicles while the other does the clarification checks,” Jonas said quietly. “If they tap on your window, roll it down and act bored and annoyed by their presence.”

Blaine, Leo, and Simon nodded their agreement from the backseat as they fixed their masks into place; each mask was designed to conceal most of their face, giving off phantom of the opera vibes.

When the first of the three vehicles ahead of them finally pulled through the gate, Jonas drummed his fingers anxiously against the steering wheel; Everett had yet to come and replace the one guard checking the guest list. After a few moments, the next car pulled through the gate, leaving one more ahead of them.

“Come on,” Jonas mumbled under his breath. He watched as the other guard slowly circled the vehicle in front of them and felt the sweat beading his brow as they got closer to finishing. The guard circling the vehicle tapped the back of it, signaling them to go ahead. “Shit.”

Just as the car ahead started to roll through the gate, Everett appeared, and Jonas released a breath of relief as he slowly began pulling forward. He watched Everett say something to the guard, who then handed him the tablet with the lists before hurrying toward the palace as he rolled to a stop in front of him.

“IDs,” Everett said curtly, falling into character.

As Jonas spoke with Everett, Leo, Blaine, and Simon watched as the other guard slowly circled their vehicle; their eyes tracked his every movement until he stopped in front of Leo’s door and tapped a knuckle against the window.

Leo’s jaw tensed as he rolled it down. “What?” he snapped.

The guard peered inside. “Just checking the vehicle, sir.”

“Make it quick,” Leo spat in feigned annoyance. “I don’t intend on spending my evening sitting in the back of my damn car.” The man met his gaze, but unlike the guards he was used to dealing with back home, this one arched a brow almost in a challenge. It didn’t deter him, however. “Well, are your eyes fucking working? Or do I need to tell Queen Viktoria that we were late due to being held up at the gate by her incompetent guard?”

The man stared at him for another heartbeat before offering a curt nod. “Enjoy your evening, sirs.”

Leo rolled his eyes before rolling up his window. When Jonas pulled through the gate, Simon let out a snort. “Dude …”

“I just know that guy has a list of nobles he wants to kill and Lord Sterling DuPont was just added to it,” Blaine chuckled.

Leo grinned. “Gotta give ol’ Sterling a reputation.”

“Everyone still connected?” Amalas’ voice crackled in their ears.

“Good here,” Blaine answered. “We just got through the gate.”

“Good on my end,” Trystan’s voice came through. “But I’m probably going to lose you here in a second. I’ll let you know when I’m back on.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine questioned. “What if you need—”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Just get inside.”

“That’s fucking great,” Leo grumbled. “We’re not even inside and he’s already going rogue.”

“I can still hear you, asshole,” Trystan said.

“I’ve got eyes on him for now,” Amalas interjected, reminding them she was watching the security feed. “If he needs assistance, I’ll let you know. You three just worry about what you need to do.”

Leo sighed just as the SUV came to a stop outside the front entrance. “I’ll see you back where we met up,” Jonas said quietly. “Good luck.” Blaine patted his shoulder right before a staff member opened the door.

Leo slid out followed by Blaine and Simon, and each offered a curt nod as they buttoned their suit jackets before making their way up the stairs. As they stepped through the front entrance, while some guests were led straight into the ballroom, they were instructed to take their place in a line.

They glanced around the foyer, dimly lit by the two gothic-style chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. In front and behind them in the line stood other masked guests … the men who would be vying for Croia’s hand that evening.

And suddenly, the full impact of what that evening was about hit Blaine like a ton of bricks. Croía was, in a nutshell, supposed to be auctioned off to one of these men … like some prized fucking animal.

It made his throat burn with bile.

“Remember, it’s not the Princess you need to impress this evening,” one man in front of him said quietly to another beside him, but not quietly enough for Blaine not to overhear. “It’s Queen Viktoria who will be choosing. And considering the Crown Matrimonial is in play—”

“I’m aware, Father,” the other man interrupted. “I’ll have no problem showing the Princess exactly where her place is and will be if I’m the one chosen.”

Blaine’s hands balled into fists at his sides as his jaw tensed. Confirmation of these men being aware of the power being offered to them had just been given. They had no intention of showing Croía any sort of respect that evening. Why? Because they weren’t trying to gain her favor but Viktoria’s.

Tonight, they needed and were expected to show Viktoria that they’d be both willing and able to keep Croía in line.

Anger flared in Blaine’s chest at the thought of any of these assholes crossing any sort of line with his friend. And more bile rose in his throat at the idea of Liam having to hear about it.

“Blaine?” Simon whispered.

Blaine snapped from his daze and looked at Simon and Leo; both their eyes flickered down to his balled-up fists. He cleared his throat and flexed his hands open. “I’m fine.”

After several long moments, they finally stepped over the threshold into the ballroom, and they all immediately searched for Croía as the line slowly moved. They finally saw her standing at the front of the dais, dressed in a black and gold gown and a matching gold mask.

Behind her were six figures seated on the dais.

The two in the center were the unmasked King and Queen, dressed in black regalia; two chairs sat on either side of them, each one occupied by a figure dressed in a hooded black garb, and their identities were concealed entirely by full-face masks, each of a different design.

“That’s not unsettling at all,” Simon quipped.

As Simon, Blaine, and Leo grew closer to the dais, they adjusted their masks, ensuring they stayed in place. Leo’s eyes were locked in a side-long stare on the King and Queen while Blaine’s remained on Croía. Some suitors simply bowed without a word and walked away. Others, however, like the asshole in front of them that Blaine overheard in the foyer, seemed to deem it necessary to assert their dominance.

“Your Highness,” the man bowed when he made it in front of her.

Blaine watched intently. Croía didn’t move, even as the man took her hand in his without her permission. He brushed his lips against her knuckles before lifting his head, and Blaine saw the corner of his mouth quirk up in a smirk as his grip on her hand tightened. “After tonight, you’ll be the one bowing, and hopefully to me.”

A low growl left Blaine’s throat, and Leo inconspicuously nudged him at hearing it. “Chill.”

“He just—”

“I know.” Leo’s jaw tensed. He’d heard it, too. And he’d give anything at that moment to beat the living audacity out of the guy, but they had to stay focused.

It was finally their turn.

Simon stepped up to Croía first, silently bowing at the waist before stepping away; he had been worried his voice might give him away should he say anything.

Leo followed behind him. “Your Highness,” he bowed and quickly stepped away.

When Blaine stepped up in front of Croía, his eyes found hers, but she didn’t meet his gaze; she was looking through him, staring straight ahead instead as if in a trance. He quickly scanned over her for any sign of injury or distress, but nothing stood out other than her thin, statuesque posture. When his eyes fell on her face again, his jaw ticked when he saw a lone tear trickle down her cheek from beneath her gilded mask. We’re here, Croía. “Your Highness,” he said quietly to mask his voice as he bowed before stepping away.

****

Lydea closed an open stateroom door as she made her way down the hall; she was doing one last cursory check of the upper levels. When she rounded the corner, she stopped short and furrowed her brow. “What are you doing?” she called out.

Everett turned and met her gaze, offering a bow as she approached him. “Just doing a cursory check of the corridors, ma’am.”

“I’m doing the cursory checks. Your post is downstairs in the ballroom.”

“I just thought — with all the guests this evening, I mean—”

“I’ve got it handled. Now get your ass downstairs.”

“Of course, ma’am.” Everett gave another stiff bow before hurrying for the stairs. He waited a moment before glancing over his shoulder, seeing her still watching him; he quickly looked away. Once at the stairs, he inconspicuously slid his eyes in her direction once more, watching her disappear down the corridor he’d come from when she spotted him … and he smirked.

She’d done exactly what Trystan said she would.

Lydea let her gaze flicker around as she walked the length of the corridor; the guards were all stationed downstairs, either in the ballroom or on the grounds around the palace. Not in the third-floor corridor. And certainly not the one that led to the private suites of the Thorne progeny.

Once at the end of the hall, Lydea turned and started checking the doors to the rooms.

Vasili’s and Sebastyan’s doors were locked as they usually were. Marguerite’s door was locked, the same as it had been since her last visit more than a year ago.

In the next hall, Emika’s and Kaspar’s doors were locked. Astrid’s door was locked. Her own door was locked. She bypassed what was once Trystan’s room without a second thought and peered around the corner at the lone door at the end of the small hallway.

Croía’s room.

By itself.

Away from the others.

Lydea approached it and jiggled the knob. It, too, was locked. She sighed as she turned back and started to make her way back to the ballroom, but she halted a step after passing what was once her eldest brother’s room. Her brow furrowed as she turned back around, confirming what she thought she saw.

The door was cracked open.

With one hand on the hilt of her dagger, Lydea pushed open the door with her free hand and stepped inside; she glanced around, taking it in for the first time in eight years. She froze again and tilted her head to the side when her eyes fell on the oil painting on the far back wall; the portion of the wall it was hanging on was ajar and she could feel the draft coming from the stone passageway … the passageway that only she and her siblings had access to through each of their suites.

Lydea slowly moved toward the opening; Kaspar and Emika were the only ones she knew who still used the passageway from time to time, and it was entirely possible they entered Trystan’s old room for whatever reason their twisted minds felt necessary. Hell, they could be having weekly slumber parties in there and she wouldn’t know or even care for that matter. Being that Kaspar was told not to be near the palace that night and Emika was charged with keeping him away, however, she was curious if her two younger siblings had managed to sneak in.

Stepping through the opening in the wall, Lydea made her way into the passageway; she stopped once inside the darkened stone hallway, listening for the echo of voices or footsteps, but heard nothing. She stopped again at the end of the stone hall, staring at the wooden door that led to the massive chamber beyond it.

It was open.

“What the hell are those two up to now?” Lydea whispered to herself as she started for the door. She stepped inside, expecting to find her two younger siblings lounging in the secret sanctuary they used as children, but her brows rose at who was there instead.

Leaning against a column at the edge of the room, Trystan nonchalantly — and expertly — twirled a dagger in his hands. “Hello, Lyddles,” he smirked. “Long time no see.”

“Well, this is certainly a surprise.” Lydea feigned indifference while her mind raced with how the hell he’d managed to make it inside completely undetected. “I can say that you’re the last person I expected to find here.”

“You know how much I love surprises,” Trystan grinned. “You’re looking rather official in your uniform.” He tilted his head in thought. “It suits you.”

“Cut the small talk,” Lydea said as she stopped a few feet away from him. “How did you get in here? And considering you’re not supposed to step foot inside the palace, let alone the country unless summoned by the King or Queen — which you weren’t — what are you doing here?”

“To answer your first question, I have my ways. As for your second question … I think you already know the answer to that.”

Lydea stared at him. “Croía …”

“Still sharp as a whip, aren’t you?” Trystan grinned.

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not going to get very far in your task, I’m afraid.”

“You almost sound convincing.” Trystan offered a menacing smile as he skillfully flipped the dagger in his hand. “Almost.”

“The guards will be up here in a moment,” Lydea said, “and unfortunately, I’ll have to take you into custody.”

A low, sardonic chuckle escaped Trystan. “Lyddles, give your big brother a little more credit than that. You haven’t alerted your guards. And even if you tried with that silent trigger on your fancy little radio — yes, I know about it — this chamber, if I recall correctly, doesn’t emit signals for shit because we’re too deep inside the palace and these concrete walls are too damn thick. That’s why Astrid stopped coming in here because she couldn’t get a signal on her phone.” He saw the flicker of irritation in her eyes from him remembering those details, and he grinned triumphantly. “Now … we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours.”

“No, dear brother, the choice is yours. I’m either taking you with me freely or against your will.”

Lydea kept her voice steady and expression indifferent despite knowing this was a battle she would more than likely lose. This was Trystan. She’d never admit it out loud, but her big brother could outsmart her both intellectually and physically.

“Your confidence is inspiring. Truly,” Trystan teased with a smirk. “But I’m going to call your bluff.”

“Trystan, you don’t want to do that.”

All facetiousness left Trystan’s face and his glare on his sister turned sinister as he took a threatening step forward. “Let me put it to you this way … I’m not leaving here without Croía. I’ll burn this palace to the fucking ground if that’s what it takes. And you know I’m crazy enough and feeling pissed off enough to do just that. So we have a couple of options here. I’m either going to take you out and continue on my way … or I’ll give you a chance to do the right thing and you can help me.”

“The right thing is for Croía to—”

“Don’t,” Trystan spat. “You know nothing about her and what the right thing for her is. This … she is not built for this. And I don’t mean the crown, I mean this place. You and I both know that.” The brief flicker of guilt in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. “She’s not me or you. She is good, Lydea. Let her stay that way.”

“Trystan, my duty is—”

“I don’t give a fuck about your duty,” Trystan took another step forward. “You know this isn’t right. She’ll never be the person they’re trying to mold her into no matter how hard they try. This is going to do nothing but break her. But you’d rather stand there and watch her crumble than give her a fucking chance at a life away from here because of your high and mighty duty?” He paused, tilting his head. “Or is it because you’re afraid?”

“I am not afraid,” Lydea ground out through gritted teeth.

“Huh,” Trystan hummed. “Could have fooled me. Because the way I see it, you’re acting like a fucking coward because you’re afraid of what mommy dearest will say. You never could stand to be a disappointment, even if it was in the devil’s eyes.” A breath escaped Lydea as she held her brother’s gaze. “I’ve never asked you for anything. Even when my entire reputation was on the line, even when the lies started to spread like wildfire and I knew you were probably the one person who could prove my innocence if I begged you to really look into it … I never asked you for a damn thing. I’m asking you now. Not for me but for her.” His voice dropped to a dangerously threatening tone. “And I’m only going to ask once.”

Lydea’s jaw tensed, and Trystan braced himself for a fight that would be grueling but that he knew he would win. She held his gaze for a few more heartbeats before closing her eyes and releasing a sharp breath. “What do you need?”

Trystan straightened. “You better not be toying with me, Lydea. I’m in no fucking mood for games.”

“I’m not toying with you,” Lydea chided. “Croía asked me to help her … to get her out … and I wanted to, but …”

“Well, here’s your chance to make it up to her,” Trystan interrupted.

“Again … what do you need?”

“I’m not telling you what I’m doing,” Trystan said pointedly. “Because one, I don’t know if I can truly trust you. No offense.”

Lydea crossed her arms but shrugged. “None taken.” She couldn’t blame him there.

“And two, the less you know, the better. I’m not asking you to directly insert yourself,” Trystan explained. “I only need you to help create a diversion …”

****

Long after the guests had made their way through the receiving line, Croía remained standing at the front of the dais. She wasn’t allowed to sit. She was the spectacle of the evening, the trophy for those not vying for her hand but for the crown her mother had dangled in front of them.

The “suitors” would come and stand in front of her; they’d ogle her and talk about her and make comments as though she wasn’t right there and could hear their every word. She felt like a prize up for grabs.

She felt used.

She felt disgusting.

In the last few days leading up to that night, Croía had given up; that sliver of hope she’d held onto to somehow find a way out had completely vanished after Lydea declined to help her. She hadn’t necessarily accepted the fate being forced on her that evening, but she had come to accept that there was nothing short of death itself that was going to get her out of it. And up until that night, she’d been in a daze of sorts. The days had been a blur. She’d been numb.

Now, she was scared.

Croía felt her throat burn and her eyes sting when two of the “suitors” finally turned away from her and headed back into the crowd after sharing would-be plans they had for her with one another. She felt sick. She fought the instinct to glance over her shoulder to where her mother was on the dais. Why she’d want to look to her for comfort, she didn’t know. She wouldn’t get it.

She had no one.

She was alone.

Croía’s breath hitched in her throat as she fought back the emotions threatening to spill out; she closed her eyes and thought of the one thing that could calm her … yet simultaneously wreck her.

Liam.

An ache rippled through Croía’s chest as she envisioned his smile, his kind blue eyes, and the sound of his laugh. Her mother’s words about him forgetting and giving up on her had infiltrated the deepest parts of her the past few days; as she slowly lost what little hope she had left, those words burrowed themselves into her soul.

He’s forgotten you.

He’s given up on you.

What she wouldn’t give to tell him how sorry she was. She didn’t mean to let him down. She should have listened when he warned her not to come back here. She had no one to blame but herself for where she was at that very moment, and she couldn’t and wouldn’t blame him or anyone else for feeling the same. She’d made the stupid decision to come, all to seek some form of approval and affection from her parents that she knew deep down she’d never get.

I was a fool. A naive fool.

A voice pulled her from her daze and her eyes snapped open as her body went rigid under the scrutinizing gaze of another “suitor” now standing in front of her.

****

Blaine, Leo, and Simon stood in the back corner of the ballroom, casually sipping drinks as they scanned the crowd.

They’d kept to themselves save for a few curt nods of acknowledgment that they returned to other guests. They all found themselves on edge, however. Each time one of the guests approached Croía — who had yet to move from her place at the front of the dais — they watched them intently. When the King, Queen, and their creepy hooded cronies stepped off the dais and made their way around the room, they managed to dodge them entirely, making sure to stay huddled in an area they already bypassed. When the King and Queen returned to their seats on the dais, the others remained mingling with the rest of the crowd before they slipped out; Amalas confirmed they had left, having seen them on the security feed.

“It’s almost time.”

Leo released a breath of relief at the sound of Trystan’s voice crackling in his ear. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“Handling something.”

“Handling what?” Simon asked.

“Lydea. I’m moving into my spot now. They should be starting any moment. Everett is in position waiting for you.”

As if on cue, a bell chimed, signaling that it was time for the Drakovian waltz. They had worked this part out so that no matter where they were positioned, they knew where they needed to end up. They watched as Croía finally moved from her place at the front of the dais to the center of the dance floor while the other guests took up positions around her.

As they made their way to the dance floor, out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw Lydea stride into the ballroom with another guard following closely behind her, making her way toward the dais. “Are you sure you handled your sister?” he whispered. “Because she just walked in and is headed right for your parents.”

“Just do what we planned. Don’t worry about her.”

As the music started and slowly began to swell, Lydea stepped onto the dais with the other guard and they stood in front of her parents, blocking most of their view. She leaned forward, appearing to start some deep discussion as the dance started.

Other guests besides those vying for the Drakovian crown were now on the dance floor, but the idea was to give each “suitor” a dance with the Princess.

The asshole that had been in front of them in the line earlier had somehow managed to end up as Croía’s first partner.

As they went through the steps, Simon, Blaine, and Leo kept their eyes on Croía, and during each switch, they moved closer, throwing some off as they cut them off and took their respective partners, but it was easy for them to rectify and not enough to draw attention.

Croía was being spun around from one guest to the next. When she switched partners again, the man she had been supposed to go to was cut off as another swept her away into a twirl. She glanced over at her mother on the dais, knowing the slip-up would infuriate her, but she hadn’t seen it; she was busy speaking to Lydea.

When she looked back at her dance partner, he smiled. “Nice moves, darl.”

Croía’s eyes slightly widened, recognizing both the voice and the silly term of endearment. “Si—”

Before she could finish, Croía was twirled away into another pair of arms. She glanced around for who she could have sworn she’d just been with, but she couldn’t spot him in the crowd of tuxes and masks. Her chest burned where the brief spark of hope had started to ignite but was abruptly put out. She knew it wasn’t possible and her mind had just been playing tricks on her.

Blaine had Croía now, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to her, not knowing how she or himself would react. He just wanted to get her the hell out of there and away from this place and these people as soon as possible.

A few moments later, Croía was spun away again, landing in another set of strong arms. She knew something wasn’t right; she should still be at the center of the dance floor, but she had somehow shifted and was now near the back edge instead. She glanced at the dais again to gauge her mother’s reaction to her having somehow messed this up, but she was still distracted in conversation with Lydea.

“Looking fancy, Cocoa Bean.”

Croía’s gaze snapped to the man in front of her at the instant recognition of the nickname; when she met his piercing blue gaze through his mask, her eyes welled with tears as her heart pounded. “L-Leo?”

“Shhh.” Leo looked around, feeling her start to shake in his grasp as he continued to shuffle through the waltz steps. “Breathe, Croía,” he whispered. “Focus and don’t draw attention to yourself right now. I’m going to pass you off here in a minute and you need to go. Do you hear me?” She gave a quick nod, holding his gaze through the mask as if she were afraid this moment wasn’t real. “Good. I’ll see you soon,” he winked.

With that, Leo spun her away from him with a bit of force, sending her stumbling backward toward an alcove at the back wall. Before she could register what was happening, an arm wrapped around her waist and yanked her through a secret door. She went to scream, but a large hand clamped over her mouth to silence her. Her eyes snapped up when she was spun around and they widened when she saw his face.

“Trystan,” Croía choked out as he pulled her to him.

“I’m here, kid,” Trystan replied. “I’m right here.” He closed his eyes when she clung to him, fisting his suit jacket in her hands; he could feel her trembling and hear her breath hitch but forced himself to refocus, stepping back from her and gripping her shoulders as he looked into her tear-filled eyes. “Listen to me. We don’t have a lot of time. I’ll explain everything, but we need to go. Now.”

Croía’s mind and heart were racing but she had enough sense to nod in reply.

Trystan gripped her hand like a vice as he pulled her down a dark and musty passageway, moving through it as if it were second nature. The sound of her heels clicking against the concrete floor echoed against the old stone walls; he was moving so fast that she had to practically jog to keep up with his long strides. She had no idea where they were or where they were going.

After turning a few more corners, they rushed toward a door at the end of the passageway, and when Trystan pulled Croía through its opening, she was outside. She watched him turn and pull out the thick piece of wood that had been there. The heavy door slammed shut with a resounding thud.

“Let’s go,” Trystan said as he turned back, grabbing Croía’s hand again and pulling her into a pathway in the woods.

Between the still lingering panic and moving so quickly, Croía was gasping for breath as they rushed through the dark woods. Her gown had snagged on branches and brambles, tearing the fabric in places and sweat beaded the hairline of her no longer elegant updo.

Soon, they burst through the end of the pathway onto an abandoned dirt road, and Croía skidded to a halt when she saw two SUVs and the silhouette of a man standing in front of one … a man she didn’t recognize.

“Trystan,” Croía’s voice cracked as she stumbled back.

“It’s ok,” Trystan said. “Everett has been helping me … feeding me information to help get you out. He’s good. He’s coming with us.” He looked at the guard as he gave a quick bow. “Everyone ready?”

“Yes, sir,” Everett nodded.

“Good. Let’s go.”

“Where are Leo and Simon?” Croía asked.

Trystan ushered Croía to the first SUV, opened the back door, and helped her in while Everett slipped into the driver’s seat. “They’re in the other SUV with Jonas and Blaine.”

Jonas and Blaine, Croía thought as she was hit with another wave of emotion.

As he yanked the seatbelt across her chest and buckled it, Trystan could sense her gaze on him, and he looked up; he lifted his hands and pulled the mask off her face. “Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I …” Croía trailed off as a lump swelled in her throat. She was overwhelmed and confused. Too much was happening all at once and she couldn’t think straight.

Trystan. Leo. Blaine. Simon.

How they managed to get in or what exactly they had done, Croía didn’t know. But for a brief moment, she couldn’t help but think … if they were there, did that mean someone else was there?

Those words that had made a home in her soul filled her head once again.

He’s forgotten you.

He’s given up on you.

“I’m ok,” Croía finally choked out just above a whisper.

Trystan nodded. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” He stepped back and shut her door. “Amalas … we’re on our way,” he said as he walked around to the other side. He chucked Croía’s mask on the ground of the dirt road before he slid inside.

****

Amalas and Olivia looked at one another with grins. “Do you want to tell them or should I?” Olivia asked as she gestured in Liam’s and Alia’s direction; they were both pacing on the deck outside.

“You can do the honors,” Amalas replied as she looked back at the screen and began typing. “I need to get this footage onto a USB before I wipe their security feed.”

Olivia nodded as she pushed back her chair and stood, making her way toward the sliding door. When she opened it and stepped outside, both Liam’s and Alia’s gazes snapped in her direction. “They’re on their way back.”

“They … they got her?” Liam’s voice cracked.

Olivia felt an unmistakable sting in her eyes at the look on her friend’s face. She nodded, “They got her.”

Alia squealed through tears and ran inside, throwing her arms around her sister.

A sharp breath, one he felt like he’d been holding all night, escaped Liam. And suddenly, he was trembling. “They got her …” He needed to hear her say it again.

“They did.”

In the next moment, Liam sank to his knees and covered his face with his hands. Weeks worth of suppressed worry mixed with more gratitude than he’d ever felt in his life and it all poured out at once.

Olivia placed her hand on his back as she crouched down next to him. “She’s on her way, Li.”

****

Thirty minutes into their drive back to Rivala, Trystan glanced over at Croía beside him, watching her as she stared out the window. His hand was clutched in hers; she hadn’t let it go since he got into the SUV.

But she’d been silent.

And that worry Trystan had about how far inside her shell she would be gnawed at him because he hadn’t been able to gauge her.

Trystan hadn’t expected her to ask him questions about any of what took place that evening, not right now, not with Everett in the vehicle, someone she didn’t know. But it was her emotions — or lack thereof — that had him worried.

While Croía had shed some tears, it wasn’t anything like what he’d braced himself for. She’d always been an emotional person, and considering what she’d been through, to be honest, he expected her to break down now that she was out. But she hadn’t. He knew she probably had a lot on her mind and that she had to be feeling beyond overwhelmed after everything that happened just that night alone, but he wasn’t sure if he could chalk her lack of emotions up to that or not.

As she stared out the window, Croía’s mind and heart felt heavy. She wasn’t sure where they were headed, but as long as it was far away from the place she once called home, she didn’t care. Her eyes stung with unshed tears, but she continued blinking them away and pushing those emotions threatening to unleash back into their bottle; she feared if she allowed them just a little bit of freedom, she wouldn’t be able to get them back under control. So she coated herself in a blanket of numbness … but it didn’t stop those words from breaking through.

He’s forgotten you.

He’s given up on you.

Croía wished she could drown them out, but they played in an echo on repeat in her mind. And each time she heard them, that thread holding her together would fray.

Those words wouldn’t allow her to make sense of Leo, Blaine, and Simon being there. They offered excuses as to why else they chose to be a part of it, reasons that didn’t involve Liam …

Because he’d forgotten … he’d given up.

****

Sitting inside the living area of the cabin, Alia and Liam stared out the window, waiting for the slightest glimpse of headlights to shine into the darkness outside and signal that the others had returned. Amalas and Olivia had made them stop watching long enough to force both of them to eat something, but as soon as they finished, they both returned to the sofa facing the window.

Liam’s eyes flickered between his watch and the window; he’d been counting down the minutes since Olivia stepped onto the deck to tell them the news. It’d been just over an hour … they should be there.

Just as his eyes slid down to check his watch again, Alia sprung up, and his gaze snapped back to the window; the trees outside were illuminated by a light that grew brighter with each second.

Then two SUVs rolled to a stop.

Liam slowly rose to his feet as his eyes shifted between the two vehicles.

Alia was already rushing for the door. She flung it open, ran out onto the porch, and paused, watching as the back door of each SUV opened. Trystan emerged from one, and Leo from the other. When Trystan reached into the vehicle, she saw a hand take his, and a moment later, he helped Croía out.

Alia flew down the stairs, making a beeline toward her. “Croía!” She threw her arms around her.

Croía returned her embrace as her vision blurred. “Hi,” she choked out. Her eyes snapped to the front porch when two figures appeared from inside.

Olivia and Amalas.

Something inside Croía’s chest twisted, both with gratitude and heartache.

Alia drew back to look at her. “You’re ok?”

“Yeah,” Croía nodded before she was pulled into another hug. She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.

Alia stepped back again, tearfully smiling as she tucked a loose strand of Croía’s hair behind her ear. Hearing the soft crunch of gravel behind her, she glanced over her shoulder, and when she looked back at Croía, her smile was broad.

When Alia stepped aside … there stood Liam.

Croía felt that dam inside her start to crumble at the mere sight of him.

He didn’t forget.

He didn’t give up.

He’s here.

Suddenly, that thread that was barely holding her together snapped and the last several weeks crashed over her all at once. Her heart felt as though it was folding in on itself, making it hard to breathe. Croía pressed her palm to her chest and bowed her head as a sob ripped from her throat and her knees buckled beneath her, and she began to sink to the ground.

Before she could hit the gravel, Liam was there, wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her up to him as she fell apart, trembling through broken sobs in his embrace. He bit his lip, rapidly blinking his eyes to rid them of the sting in an attempt to hold himself together for her because, at that moment, she needed him to.

Trystan chewed the inside of his cheek, watching her finally drop that veil and break down.

With an arm wrapped securely around her and holding her against him, Liam cradled the back of her head with his hand and tilted his head, pressing his lips to her ear. “I’m here, love,” he whispered as she continued to cry into his chest. “I’ve got you.”

When he glanced up, Liam saw the misty eyes of the others as they stared at her … at the two of them. And in the next moment, he scooped her into his arms.

Croía tucked her head into the crook of his neck, clinging to him as he turned and carried her into the cabin.

***************************************

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smytherines · 1 month

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I love One Step Ahead for all the obvious reasons (gay angst), but also because it is so packed with little storytelling moments. Also it just seems exhausting. So much happens in that song:

1. Motorcycle chase (with office chairs)

2. Boat chase

3. Staff fight

4. Sword fight

5. Vigorous musket loading

6. Run up the staircase

7. Hang glider chase

8. Fistfight

9. Run halfway down the stairs again

And the entire time they are doing all of this, they're belting out a vocally demanding song. I mean, no wonder Curt Mega had to take a breath during that final note. That's a feat of endurance. I simply would've passed out and died.

One Step Ahead is one of my favorite setpieces of all time. In anything. Ever. It is so impressive, and it is even more impressive when you realize this was done by a tiny little independent company with the theatre budget equivalent of $1.50. Unreal. It should not be possible.

And the thing is, One Step Ahead is the perfect narrative counterweight to A1P1 (Spies Are Forever). The amount of thought they put into this is just stunning. Because here's the thing: A1P1 is also incredibly physical. For most of the song Curt and Owen are on the move, they're going up the ladder, they're fighting goons, they're going down the staircase, they're running.

But more importantly, Curt and Owen are touching a lot in A1P1. And yeah, that's fun in a swoony curtwen vibes way, but its also incredibly important to the narrative. They are touching a lot, and when they aren't touching they are standing just a little bit too close together. Its subtle enough that you initially dismiss it as a stylistic choice, but once you have the full context it is remarkably intimate.

Those are important details- like the way Owen has his arm around Curt and is literally holding his hand when they're talking to Cynthia. Its meant to tell us that they are together. In the romantic way, yes, but also they're just aligned, working together, on the same page. They are partners here. They literally have each other's backs.

And that's down to Curt Mega and Joey Richter selling the absolute shit out of these roles, and genius choreography by Lauren Lopez, and Corey Lubowich being the director of all time.

The digital download BTS has a part with Joey and Curt rehearsing the bit where they do the hug, and right after that they're trying to figure out what cool action poses to move into and Corey says that he wants to see something with them "connected," which is just... yeah, that's the perfect word to describe what is going on in A1P1. These two are connected.

So then we get to One Step Ahead. At the very beginning, Curt does the arm clasp with Tatiana. The first time they did this, Curt had a flashback of Owen. Owen was still his partner in his heart. But this time that bond is severed. Curt thinks of Tatiana as his partner now.

We get into the action of the song, and Curt and Owen do not touch. Even when they are very physically close together, there are weapons between them. In A1P1 they had lots of moments with their backs turned to each other, trusting each other, working perfectly in sync. In One Step Ahead they are facing each other head on. They are literally and figuratively fighting. They are breaking up.

The only moment during this sequence where they are actually touching each other is when Owen slaps Curt, Curt punches Owen twice, and they do that lock up move. They're only touching to hurt each other now.

And its so subtle and well executed that you don't really think about the parallels between these two scenes the first time you watch them. But you feel it on an emotional level. They had about ten minutes to establish the relationship between these two, and they used that ten minutes so effectively that the staircase scene ends up hitting like a ton of bricks.

Just. I love this show. I love how much TCB and Curt Mega and the rest of the cast care about this show. I'm so grateful they keep coming back to it. I cannot wait to see what they do with these scenes for Spy Another Day.

#spy another day #spies are forever #owen carvour #agent curt mega #tin can bros #curtwen #saf #tcb #tinlightenment world tour #saf rants

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 8 months

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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 21

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Some Smut & Language- Minors DNI New as of 9/21/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "Dieter. Don’t do this…please."

A/N: Chapter 21 is finally here! It's a beast coming in at 9k words. I have to give a massive thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for taking on the challenge of cleaning this mess up. Make sure you thank her for it! She worked some serious magic on it for me. Just a fair warning, this takes a super angsty turn. Get your cozy blanket and chocolate ready, because you might need it.

I was not prepared for how hard Dieter's absence would hit me once he had left to film in Canada. Spending time alone had never bothered me at any point in my life; but now without him, it felt like a piece of me was missing. I did my best to keep busy. When I wasn't working remotely, I continued the home improvement project at Dieter’s house or worked on various projects in my craft room.

Aside from two incidents, I had managed to avoid the lurking paparazzi. There were a few photos that had been snapped from a distance while I was out running errands that popped up on some fan pages; it was annoying, but the best way to handle it was to take it in stride and just remind myself that people were always watching. Luckily, no one had approached me directly; the public knowledge that Dieter was currently on set in Canada probably took a lot of the heat off me.

Fortunately, I had people in my life to help me cope with Dieter's absence. I spent several evenings with Lauren, catching up on gossip as we watched movies. The shop had been keeping her busy due to an employee shortage, and she was also exploring options to expand into the vacant unit next door. While I could see how that took up a lot of her time, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was holding things back from me. But whenever I asked her about it, she would wave it off and say everything was fine, as her phone continued to beep with a steady stream of text messages.

Gabby must have noticed that I had been feeling lonely, as she made a point to extend a longstanding dinner invitation at her house. While I enjoyed spending time with her and went to see her often, it didn’t do anything to dampen my feeling of loneliness. No one could fill that void except for her brother.

Communicating with Dieter brought on a new set of frustrations that I hadn’t expected. The remote location turned out to have a lot of signal issues, so it was hard for us to connect by texts or calls as often as either of us would have liked. I could tell that he tried to stay positive, but during the times that we were able to Facetime it struck me how tired he looked and sounded. Things were slowly wearing him down.

Two weeks into filming, during one of our few facetime calls, Dieter admitted that he had been feeling a little down and wasn’t getting enough sleep. The side effects of the medication had lessened, but so far it didn’t seem to offer him any relief from the issues that he struggled with. A local provider that he was referred to suggested that he start taking antidepressants. When he told me, I noticed how distant his eyes seemed as he spoke. “It’s fine. I’ll take them”, he said after a beat, his fingers absentmindedly tugging at the label on the bright orange container with pills. “I’m just dreading more side effects.” He had been unusually quiet during our call that evening. I could see weariness sunk into the lines on his face and couldn’t help the gnawing feeling that things were not all that fine.

The last few days before I was scheduled to fly out to Alberta passed by painfully slow. It made me restless, and I couldn't focus my energy on anything but the trip. I lost count of how many times I went through my packing list. Dieter seemed to be feeling the same way, sounding giddy during the times we were able to catch up over the phone. He had made sure to arrange a car that would pick me up at the airport. So, when I finally I landed at Edmonton International after a three-hour flight, I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with the anxiety of transportation to get to the set.

As we drove several hours to get to the filming location, I saw the landscape changing from city views to remote swatches of land. Lush forests and more than a few wild animals caught my attention. With so few people, stores, and even power lines around, it wasn’t surprising that there had been such problems with getting a cell signal.

By the time I made it to their filming location, my back was absolutely killing me. I was happy to be climbing out of the vehicle. I was in the midst of stretching when Rylee came jogging over. Her hair was now black mixed with a deep purple color, which threw me for a minute. She gave me a wave and wide smile as she approached.

“He’s gonna be so fucking happy you’re finally here,” she announced as she pulled me in for a quick hug. “Actually, I’m fucking happy you’re here because I’m tired of his whining.”

I gave her a chuckle in response.

“What do I need to do with my bags?”

“We can put them in his trailer for now. Come on, I’ll help.”

As small as the trailers looked from the outside, I wasn’t expecting much. But I had to admit, I was pleasantly surprised. It was like a mini home on wheels.

“So, is he the only one who uses this trailer?” I asked as I looked around on the inside. The bed toward the back had caught my eye, because of course that’s where my mind immediately went to. Rylee gave me a knowing smile.

“I mean, do I need to put my bags out of the way or anything? I don’t wanna take up someone else’s space.”

I tried to recover. I’m not sure she bought it. I could feel my cheeks burning.

“He’s one of the stars of the show. So, yes, he’s the only one who should be in here aside from you or I, unless invited.”

I nodded, still trying to play it cool.

“Don’t worry, I’ll knock before I come in,” she added with a wink.

“No, no, that’s…that’s not why I was asking.” I shook my head as I spoke, feeling even more embarrassed.

“Don’t play coy, I’m not dumb.” A wide teasing grin spread across her face.

“Ok, ANYWAY, what now?” I interjected, trying to change the subject. That caused her to laugh harder. Once her laughs subsided to a manageable level, she responded.

“Now we go find your man and surprise him. I haven’t told him you’re here yet. He’s filming right now. They should be wrapping for a break soon.”

I followed Rylee down a long trail into a wooded area. We ended up near a large opening next to the river. I could see a lot of commotion up ahead where they were filming on the edge of the riverbank. We got close enough to watch, but far enough out of the way that I couldn’t be spotted. I didn’t want my sudden appearance to throw Dieter off.

They were filming a scene that included a heated exchange between several of the characters. It was amazing to watch him work. To see him turn the character on and off between takes was interesting. He could go from joking around and laughing to angry within seconds. I didn’t understand how he could do it so convincingly. On their third try, I noticed Dieter’s face shifted slightly mid-way through as one of the other male actors was speaking. It was an actual look of annoyance. He turned looking towards the director while everyone else looked confused. Someone called cut from the group behind the camera. Dieter looked back over at the other male actor, clearly frustrated.

“Can’t you just stick to the damn script? They told you to cut that shit out,” he said loudly to the other male actor.

It sounded like the guy responded with a comment about the lines feeling out of character. I couldn’t fully hear him since his back was facing our direction.

“If you have a problem with it, discuss it with the boss and the writers before we film. You're holding everyone up here.”

It looked like the guy may have flipped Dieter the bird, and I don’t think he meant it in the joking with your friends kind of way. Rylee looked at me and rolled her eyes, “That’s Tom. That guy has been a total douche. He thinks he’s more important than he actually is. He’s driving Dieter crazy with this stuff.”

“Yeah, he looks like a douche. Is Dieter always that direct with people?” I hadn’t noticed this before, but then again, I hadn’t been around him when he was working.

Rylee shook her head. “Can’t say I’ve witnessed it before, though I don’t blame him in this instance.” She hesitated for a moment. “He hasn’t been in the best mood though.”

We watched as they shot three more takes before a dinner break was announced. Everyone started to clear out of the area, except for one of the female actresses who approached Dieter. She was a petite brunette, and clearly attractive. She reached out to touch his upper arm as she spoke, obviously flirting with him. I couldn’t hear what she said, but Dieter looked at her with annoyance as he pulled his arm away and walked off. She didn’t look happy about his response, giving him a slight glare as she walked away with a huff.

I knitted my brows together over their exchange. Rylee noticed my expression.

“That’s been a whole thing. Chloe just won’t take a hint. Don’t worry, he’s been nothing but a dick to her.”

I laughed, “Well, maybe she’ll take the hint now that I’m here.”

I watched as Dieter wandered over to the edge of the riverbank, looking frustrated with his phone in hand. He seemed to be talking to himself, occasionally walking a few steps one way or the other with the device up in the air, like he was looking for a better signal. Rylee bumped her shoulder against mine.

“What are you waiting for? Go get your man before he loses his damn mind again over his phone not working.”

I chuckled before walking off in his direction, approaching him from behind. I could hear him muttering about his phone being a “piece of shit” as he tapped on the screen harder than necessary.

“What did that phone ever do to you?”

“It doesn’t fucking work half the time,” he replied curtly, his head bowed down as he continued to fiddle with the object of his frustration. A beat later, his fiddling paused as he raised his head, quickly turning toward me.

The instant his eyes locked with mine, he was moving, taking quick long strides over to me as the relief swept over his face. Before I knew it, he had wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and lifted me, spinning in a circle as he pressed his lips into mine with urgency. “Hi.” His voice croaked, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. I hugged him back around his neck as I returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. He lowered me to the ground, our embrace continuing with kisses between whispers of how much we had missed each other.

He pulled back, looking over my face as he reached to run his fingers through my hair. A small smile tugging at his lips.

My thumb traced the faint darkness under his eyes. I could see it even under all the makeup and dirt. My chest tightened at the thought of him not being able to sleep. I really hoped he wasn’t still having bad dreams, but I didn’t think he would tell me if he was.

We were brought back to reality when a few of the remaining crew members and Rylee started whopping and whistling at us, someone even yelling at us to get a room. We both burst out laughing but were also slightly embarrassed. I could already tell that being on the film set with Dieter was going to be an interesting experience.

He leaned into my ear, “How about we go somewhere a little more private?”

I nodded with a mischievous smile in return. We made a beeline for his trailer. Several people attempted to get his attention as he passed by, but he was having none of it. He waved them off and kept going, gently pulling me along as he held my hand.

We had barely made it into his trailer before he was kissing me and reaching for my belt buckle. I had to make him stop to shut the door properly behind him. It bounced back open twice before he finally gave it a couple of good tugs to fully latch it. He cursed at it under his breath while I laughed at him.

We undressed each other in record time before falling onto the bed in a mess of tangled limbs. Dieter settled in between my thighs as he reached down to rub between my folds. I grabbed his hand, stopping him as I shook my head.

“No, I need you now.”

He gave me a cocky grin as he moved to line himself up at my entrance. “As you wish.” He rested his forehead against mine as he entered slowly, giving me the opportunity to adjust to his size. Once he was in all the way, his movement briefly stilled, and a small whimper escaped his lips.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, missed this, missed us.”

He kissed me deeply, his tongue tangling with mine as he started his movements again. His pace quickened, turning the sweet moment into one of raw need. Our sweaty bodies slid against each other as our movements became more frantic. We held on to each other tightly as his thrusts grew harder. We heard voices outside of the trailer, which briefly pulled our attention away from our activities. Dieter shook his head as if to dismiss it, then buried his face into my neck, muffling the noises he was making as he briefly covered my mouth with his hand to quieten the sounds still escaping my lips. I pulled his hand away and wrapped my legs around him as he resumed his quick, plunging movements. I could feel the tension building before coming undone around him. It took everything in me to stay quiet as I felt the rush of tingling electricity throughout my body. His thrusts grew more erratic as he felt me tighten around him. He soon spilled into me as he was rocked with his own orgasm.

He collapsed beside me, trying to catch his breath. I rolled over and cuddled into his side as he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my hair. We sat in silence. Within minutes, his breathing started to deepen as he fell asleep. I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want to wake him.

Thirty minutes or so passed when I heard crackling over a radio from somewhere in the trailer giving a twenty-minute warning for filming to resume. The sound didn’t disturb Dieter in the slightest. He was out cold. I hated to wake him, but knew I needed to. It took several shakes, but he finally woke up grumbling as he hugged me tighter. He finally rolled out of bed, and I followed. We quickly got dressed and attempted to make ourselves presentable.

“You look like a hot fucking mess,” I said as I eyed the smeared makeup on his face. It looked more like he had smeared and streaked the dirt on his face with his fingers rather than just being naturally dirty. He looked in the mirror and sighed.

“Oh well. Shit happens,” he shrugged before pulling me in for another kiss. A ten-minute warning crackled on the radio, followed by a knock on the door. Dieter moved to open it, allowing Rylee inside. She entered, then stopped, looking us both over with a smirk on her face.

She started laughing and shaking her head as she looked at Dieter more closely. She turned to me, “I think you may be hair and makeup’s worst nightmare.”

We all shook with laughter at her remark. There was no hiding it at this point, might as well laugh about it. Once we contained ourselves, Rylee held out a small bag.

“I figured you wouldn’t make it over to eat, so I grabbed some food for you. Dieter, walk and eat please. We gotta go.”

We thanked her as we headed out the door with sandwiches and drinks in hand.

Rylee was right, Dieter was swarmed by hair and makeup as soon as he got back to the filming location, and they were giving him a hard time about it. I made a mental note to avoid his face and hair in the future, or at least try to.

Filming went well into the early morning hours. I spent most of my time either watching them film or with Rylee showing me around. Once they wrapped for the night, we briefly stopped in at Dieter’s trailer to grab my bags, then a car took us to the secluded resort about thirty minutes away where the cast and crew were staying. We showered to rid ourselves of the outdoors which led to our second and third rounds of sex before crashing. Dieter didn’t seem to have any trouble falling asleep that night as our naked bodies lay tangled under the fluffy down duvet.

The 7AM alarm came early when you only managed to get about four hours sleep. We spent a few minutes in bed, just enjoying each other’s company and showering each other in affection. That was soon interrupted by Reylee’s call to make sure Dieter was awake and not “dicking around” because our car would be there soon. She held nothing back. Her filter worked about as good as mine.

We had to scramble to get ready to leave but managed to make it on time. Rylee met us in the lobby with coffee and muffins, which I was thankful for. Dieter’s muffin set untouched during the ride as he looked over his script. Rylee reminded him at least three times to eat. I eventually grabbed the muffin and shoved it into his mouth, which took him off guard.

“Well, that’s one way to do it!” Rylee said as we both snorted through laughter. Dieter didn’t seem to find it as funny. He looked slightly annoyed but took it from me and ate while he continued to look over his script.

Once we arrived, he immediately went off to hair and makeup. I wandered around to find a decent cell signal so I could use my mobile hotspot to get a little bit of work done. I found a nice spot at the top of a hill where I had a view of everyone at work filming. The cell signal would come and go, and I could now understand Dieter’s earlier frustrations. It seemed the remote area we were in was in the middle of a dead zone.

During the lunch break, I sat with Rylee as Dieter spoke with the director and producer about some scenes they would be filming soon. He was in pure chaos mode, a bundle of hyped-up energy, talking a mile-a-minute about an idea he had.

“He seems to be in better spirits now that you’re here,” Rylee said to me as I watched him gesture wildly with his arms.

“He actually got some sleep last night; I think that’s helped.”

“Yeah, and got rid of some of that pent up tension too, I’m sure.”

Rylee smirked as she took a sip of her water. I raised an eyebrow as it took me a minute to realize what she was referencing. Once I caught on, I rolled my eyes at her.

“You’re incorrigible. You know that? I think your filter might be more broken than mine.”

She beamed, clearly proud of herself. She glanced down at her watch, checking the time. The break was almost over, and he was still talking while everyone else around him finished up lunch.

“I swear, if he doesn’t start eating, I’m gonna choke him. I’ll be right back.”

I watched as Rylee went over to grab a plate of food and deposited it in his hands, giving him a chastising look as he took it from her. It didn’t faze him, he held it as he continued to talk.

She came to sit back down beside me.

“Has that been an issue with him, not eating?”

“Oh yeah, he gets wrapped up in the ‘creative process’ and forgets to eat.”

“Has that always been a thing?”

“Yes and no. He seems a little worse than normal this time around. I just figured he was trying to keep himself busy, so he doesn’t think about being away from you.”

I gave her a small smile but didn’t say anything. It bothered me that he was skipping meals because I knew how much that man loved food.

“He’s been fine otherwise though…right?”

I’m sure she could see the concern etched on my face.

“Yeah, I mean, I know he hasn’t been sleeping well, which isn’t really new. He’s been a little moody, but otherwise ok.”

I felt bad for even asking, but I had a feeling he wasn’t going to be completely honest with me if he was having a hard time.

Dieter finally ended his conversation and came over to straddle the bench seat facing me on my right side as he set his food down on the table. His left hand immediately came up to rest in my hair at the base of my neck to pull me in for a quick kiss. Rylee again reminded him to eat because he only had fifteen minutes left. He rolled his eyes and stuffed half a sandwich in his mouth with his right hand, giving her a sarcastic look. I leaned my head over onto his left shoulder while he continued to run his fingers through my hair. He carried on eating with his other hand, occasionally speaking to Rylee between bites. For the first time that morning, his chaotic energy finally seemed to ease down slightly.

I was able to spend more time with Dieter that afternoon. He had a few breaks while they filmed scenes he wasn’t part of. We spent those breaks alone in his trailer. While a lot of that time included more intimate activities, we were perfectly content to just be in each other’s company while he went over the script or napped. Both of which he did while cuddled into my side as I ran my fingers through his curls and lightly scratched his scalp with my nails. He complained when I let him fall asleep because that meant he was losing time with me, but we both knew he needed it.

My third day went much like the previous. It was a routine we had settled into. Dieter’s overall mood seemed to have improved, and he looked more rested than he had when I first arrived. Rylee seemed happy about that since he was less grumpy and more compliant than he had been.

That evening, filming wrapped early. The cast and crew were planning to hit up a local bar to blow off some steam. Dieter wasn’t planning to go, but Rylee encouraged it. Mostly because she didn’t want to go alone. We humored her and said we would make an appearance, even though we both would have much rather been alone in our suite for the evening.

When we arrived, we found an open space at the bar. Dieter and Rylee took the two open bar stools while I opted to stand for a bit. Dieter sat facing me, with one arm leaned on the bar. I stood in between his open legs, leaning against his shoulder as his hand rested on my hip. Rylee ordered some sort of fruity mixed drink while we both asked for water. If he wasn’t going to drink, then I wasn’t either. Rylee surprisingly didn’t question it, which I appreciated.

There was a steady flow of cast and crew that came over to chat with us. They all seemed nice enough and were very welcoming toward me. Then there was Chloe…We had been there for about an hour when she made her way over to chat with Dieter. She was clearly a few drinks in as her speech was starting to slur slightly. She came up behind him, slowly snaking her arm around his shoulders while saying “hello handsome” in the best sultry voice she could muster. She did all this, even though he was sitting there with one of his arms around me. I felt him lean forward into me as he reached to remove her arm from his shoulder. I turned to meet her gaze, confused by her brazen actions. She stepped away, giving an obvious pout as she finally realized I was standing there. She tilted her head like she was trying to sort out a puzzle, then reached out her hand to shake mine.

“I’m Chole, I don’t think we’ve met. Are you like his sister or something?”

The look of shock and confusion that Rylee, Dieter, and I gave her had to be almost comical. Was she really that dumb or just being a bitch? Based on the clueless stare she was giving me; I was going with dumb.

Rylee muttered, “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” just loud enough that I could hear her over the loud background music. Dieter leaned forward, trying his hardest not to laugh.

“No, definitely not my sister. That would make all the sex we’ve had the last three days a little weird. She’s actually the love of my life and the only woman I’m currently interested in.”

He gave her a wide smile. It took everything I had in me to control the laughter that was threatening to burst out. Rylee nearly choked on her drink and made no attempts to hide her giggles.

Chloe’s eyes grew large as she took in his response. Her cheeks tinged with red. She gave a tight smile, nodding in understanding before she awkwardly turned to walk away. All three of us burst out laughing.

“I cannot believe you said that to her,” I said to Dieter through my chuckles.

“Just trying to get the point across. The girl is not good at picking up hints.” He sighed, still looking amused, but it was clear that her behavior had been bothering him for a while now. “She probably won’t remember it tomorrow anyway.”

Dieter got up to go to the bathroom, so I took his seat. Rylee and I continued to chat as she turned her back to the bar to look over the crowd, expressing her dismay over the lack of suitable options for a one-night stand. I sat facing her, leaning on the bar with my head propped on my hand, laughing at the disgusted look on her face. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tom and a group of guys at the end of the bar. They were very obviously looking our way, their lingering eyes occasionally being a bit too blatant. Internally, I was rolling my eyes and hoping they didn’t cause any trouble. I was startled by Dieter speaking up loudly from behind me, his voice tense and words clipped.

“The fuck you looking at?”

I turned to face him; he was clearly looking in the direction of Tom’s group. I didn’t see their reaction, but Dieter seemed satisfied after a moment as I reached to grab at his shirt and pull him over to me. I was attempting to distract him to avoid any further drama.

“Don’t pay any attention to them, they’re clearly drunk.”

He couldn’t stop a huff falling from his lips as his arms slid around my waist, eyes focused on mine. “Yeah well, they don’t need to be staring at you two like that,” he muttered.

“Don’t worry about it D., I think we can handle them,” Rylee added with a serious tone.

After a short while, the group got up and left the bar area. Dieter followed them with his eyes as they retreated to the upstairs area of the establishment. Once they were gone, he visibly relaxed within a few minutes, seeming to have forgotten about the exchange. He continued to chat with some crew members sitting close to us as Rylee pulled me out to dance. I felt a little out of my element. I was typically a few drinks in before I ever took to the dance floor, but I tried to let loose a little and have fun with her. I could see Dieter still seated at the bar, keeping a close eye on us, and occasionally smiling at our antics when our eyes met.

We were a few songs in when I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my waist. I immediately stiffened because I knew it wasn’t Dieter. When I turned to push them away, I saw it was one of the guys who had been in Tom’s group earlier. This was not going to go well. I tried my hardest to get rid of him before Dieter noticed, but he absolutely would not go away and only continued to get more handsy as I continued to resist. Rylee stepped in to intervene and he pushed her away, before grabbing onto my ass. I pushed away again, more roughly this time as I moved to walk away. When I turned, Dieter was right there in front of me, his eyes blazing with anger. Rylee and I had to step in to block him as he was about to throw a punch at the guy's face.

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop. Stop it!” I yelled as I hooked my arm around his when he was mid swing. There was no doubt in my mind that he could take the guy, but a fight was the last thing he needed. Especially with how short his fuse already seemed to be lately. Rylee was pushing backwards on Dieter’s chest while he yelled obscenities at the guy, who just stood there with a smug look on his face. It clearly only enraged Dieter more, causing him to keep pushing back against us to get to the guy.

“Dieter, stop it! It’s ok, I’m ok.”

“It’s not fucking ok. He has no right to touch you like that.”

“No, he doesn’t but we can deal with it another way. Just not like this, please.”

“You can kiss your fucking job goodbye. Don’t even show up tomorrow,” Dieter yelled toward the guy who shouted a quick, “Fuck you,” back at him.

Rylee and I pushed him toward the exit. Once outside, she called for our driver to pick us up. Dieter took off without a word and headed down the street, taking long strides as he seemed oblivious to his surroundings. The set of his shoulders was tense and tight, and I noticed his hands clench into fists repeatedly as he got further away from us. I moved to follow him, but Rylee stopped me.

“Just give him a minute.”

I bit my lip as I watched him disappear from sight. I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. “Does he always fly off the handle like that?” I knew the answer before I had finished asking the question. During the time we had spent together in the past several months, I had never seen him respond in that way. He had never attempted to hit anyone or verbally attack them with anger. As pissed as he was when we ran into Justin, he stayed perfectly calm through that entire exchange.

“Like that? No. But I assume it’s just because it had to do with you,” Rylee responded.

A few minutes later our car pulled up and Dieter still hadn’t returned. We instructed the driver to head in the same direction he had walked earlier, hoping that we would find him. I spotted him sitting on a bench with his head in his hands and told our driver to pull over. Once the car was parked, I got out and walked over to the bench, taking a seat next to him. When he didn’t look up, I started rubbing slow circles on his back with my hand.

“You ok?”

He shook his head from side to side before sitting up straight, inhaling deeply as he looked around at nothing. His face was tense. I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or distress. He wouldn’t look at me.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head from side to side again while trying to control his breathing. His leg started to bounce as he continued to stare, unblinking, the dissociation palpable in the air. I felt like he was fighting off a panic attack. After hesitating for a moment, I stood up and climbed onto his lap, my legs straddling his thighs. I forced him to look at me, grabbing one of his hands and holding it to my chest as his eyes locked with mine. With my free hand, I reached for the hair at the base of his neck and rubbed him gently, just like I had done after the Anna incident. Immediately his body language changed, and I felt him lean into my touch, a barely audible sigh escaping from his lips.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

He shook his head slowly, searching for words. “I just… couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I dunno. I think I blacked out for a minute.” He looked away as another sigh broke free from him. “I don’t even know what just happened.”

I pulled him in and hugged tightly around his shoulders. He buried his face into the crook of my neck as his breathing slowed. He held onto me tightly. I could feel the occasional twitching in his right hand.

“I’m sorry, I know I could’ve handled that differently,” he said eventually, his breath warm against the curve of my shoulder. “I just kinda snapped when I saw him grab you like that.”

I pulled back to look at him, running my fingers through the side of his hair.

“You’re fine. I understand why you were upset.” I leaned in, giving him a lingering kiss on his lips, then rubbed my nose against his.

“How about we head back to the resort and forget about this mess.”

He let out a small sigh before nodding in agreement. He stood as he kept his hand pressed against the small of my back, lifting me with him before gently depositing my feet on the ground. I took his hand, leading him in the direction of where the car had parked.

True to his word, Dieter made a few calls the next morning before we got to set. The guy, whose name turned out to be Craig, was fired. They didn’t want someone like that around, for obvious reasons.

We fell back into our routine after the incident at the bar. My remaining days with Dieter were passing by quickly, which only seemed to bring his mood down. He was spending less time preparing for filming and more time with me during his breaks. We never spoke of how much time we had left, but I could tell it was always at the forefront of his mind. It was clear in the way he would cling to me when we were alone, how he would also avoid any conversation about when I would eventually be flying home. I had given up on getting any of my remote work done during the last two days; the work mattered, but faded in importance compared to being present there with him. On top of that, the cell signal issues persisted, so I opted to take some time off for those days instead. It meant I got more time to watch Dieter in action. I was able to be near him, just off camera the entire time. He took full advantage of my presence between takes, coming over for an affectionate touch or kiss when he was able.

On the morning of my flight to LA, he woke me before either of our alarms went off. I had barely opened my eyes before I felt his hands roam over my body, his lips soft and warm as he trailed kisses down my neck from behind. Once I turned over towards him, his motions turned near frantic almost immediately as he met my lips for a deep kiss, his fingers sliding between my thighs where he found I was ready for him. Our kisses were urgent, our touches insistent. It was almost like we couldn’t get close enough. With the quick pace that he set from the beginning, neither of us lasted long. As soon as he felt me coming undone, he followed. He stayed propped above me, with his elbows on either side of my head, kissing me in between brief moments of letting his eyes dance across my face. I could feel him lightly threading my hair through his fingers.

“I’m not sure how many more times I can tell you goodbye like this. I fucking hate it.” His brows knitted together as he spoke. The emotion was clear on his face. He looked like he was about to break. I reached up to tangle my hands in his messy curls.

“I know baby, I do too. It’s just for four weeks though, then you get to come home for a few days.”

I tried my hardest to sound positive, but every fiber of my being was screaming in protest. Something felt off. Something was telling me to stay with him. I felt a tear slide down the side of my face while I fought with those emotions. I knew I was just being irrational because I didn’t want to be away from him. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and leaned down to kiss me, gently.

We were interrupted by the alarm on his phone going off. He reached over to grab it from the nightstand with a protesting groan as he pulled out of me. He turned the alarm off and set the phone next to my head as he settled above me again, continuing to kiss me deeply. But once again we were interrupted by his phone; it was Rylee with her usual morning call to make sure he was awake. He finally sat up to answer it. I could hear her reminding him of my flight details before he cut her off to say we had it all under control and he would see her later. He wasn’t usually so terse with her, so it surprised me a little. After he hung up, he let out a loud sigh and got up to go toward the shower.

I sat in bed a little longer before joining him, taking a moment because I could feel the panic rising in my chest. The little voice in my head kept screaming at me to stay with him. I needed to pull it together, for him. Me being upset was only going to make him more anxious. I finally drug myself up out of the bed to go shower. We both rushed to get ready. He had to leave before I did, but I still needed to pack up.

When I came out of the bathroom after drying my hair and getting dressed, Dieter was sitting at the edge of the bed with his elbows propped on his knees and palms rubbing at his eyes. When he looked up at me, his eyes were red and glossy.

“My car is here.”

I inhaled a deep breath and gave him a nod as I walked toward him. I pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re gonna be so busy, the time will fly by. You probably won’t even notice I’m gone,” I said into his neck. He scoffed.

“I think we both know that’s not true.”

I gave him a tight smile as I pulled away to look him in the eye, “You call me when you’re having a hard time, yeah?”

He looked down and away from me as he gave me a small nod. His phone pinged, no doubt it was Rylee telling him to hurry it up. He leaned in for one last kiss before leaving.

I stood for some time, staring at the door I had just watched close behind him. I kept having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this might be the last time I would see him, and it was freaking me out. It took everything in me to push those thoughts away so that I could focus on packing and making my flight.

In the days that followed, he called every time he was able, but most of our communication was done via text message. Which I knew he absolutely hated. About a week after I got home, there was a full day that I didn’t hear from him. I started to get a little worried, until I got a text message from Rylee later that evening saying that Dieter’s phone was broken, and he would call me from her phone later.

It was near midnight when my phone finally rang. I had been lying in bed for an hour, wide awake, hopeful that he was going to call. I know the relief had to be obvious in my voice when I answered.

“Please tell me you didn’t throw your phone into the river because it wouldn’t work.”

Dieter laughed, “No, actually I threw it at a stone wall because it wouldn’t work. It’s in pieces.”

I was a little taken aback by his response. I had only been joking.

“Dieter, that’s a little excessive.”

“Yeah, but it made me feel better for a few minutes.” He cleared his throat, voice slightly hoarse as fatigue laced through his words. “Until I realized I couldn’t text or call you at all after that.”

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. It seemed a little out of character for him.

“Rylee ordered another phone for me. It should be here tomorrow.”

“Well, at least you’ll get a replacement quickly.”

“Yeah, I’ll try to not break this one,” he said with a small laugh.

His voice sounded off. I wasn’t sure why, but it did.

“Are you doing ok?”

He took a moment to respond and I heard him gulp down something to drink. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“No. I’m fine.” More drinking sounds, then a sigh. “I mean, I miss you and I’m tired. That’s nothing new though.”

The phone disconnected with a beep. I got a text a minute later.

DIETER: Sorry, lost fucking signal again. Talk to you tomorrow. Love you.

“This fucking sucks,” I huffed out loud to myself. I sent him a quick goodnight text and tried to go to sleep.

In the weeks that followed, I could tell something was going on with Dieter when he would call. He always insisted that he was fine, and it was just all the usual things bothering him. However, he seemed to be growing more distant. The calls and texts were becoming fewer and farther between. It was making me beyond anxious. I was having a hard time focusing on anything, including work. I spent a lot of my time alone, staring at the tv without having any idea what was happening on the screen. I avoided talking to Lauren and Gabby because I knew they would sense something was up, and I wasn’t sure where to even begin explaining my concerns without violating his privacy.

After going a day and a half without hearing from him, I called Rylee to see if he was ok. She said he was normal during filming. Maybe even a little more excitable and obnoxious than usual. She added that he did seem somewhat withdrawn when it was just the two of them though. I asked her to call me if things didn’t improve with him. He was due to come home for a break in one week, so I was hopeful he would snap out of whatever funk he was in.

Around 10 PM that same evening, my phone lit up with an incoming call from Rylee. I suddenly felt sick. I knew something was wrong.

“Rylee?”

It took a moment before I heard her voice, as static and background noises seemed to drown her out at first. “Ummm, so Dieter is absolutely losing his shit on Tom right now. Do you think you can try to calm him down?” I had never heard Rylee truly agitated, but this time her voice was tense, laced with panic and concern.

My heart felt like it was beating in my throat as I gripped the phone tighter. “I can try- yes, of course. What happened?”

The screaming of two men in the background became louder, as if the phone was turned towards their direction, and I wondered if that was Rylee’s way of offering some further insight.

“Why can’t you just do what you’re fucking told? You’re gonna get someone fucking killed doing that shit,” Dieter yelled, his voice loud and distressed, the sound of it immediately conjuring up a visual of him with clenched fists and dark eyes like he had been that night at the bar.

“Fuck you man, go have a drink and calm the fuck down,” Tom spat back at him.

“Fuck you dude, she just almost got hurt because of you. You’re an asshole,” Dieter said with indignation.

“Guys! Stop yelling. Take a break,” a third male voice interrupted.

“I don’t know, something about a stunt that didn't go well. I didn’t see it, so I’m not sure. Hold on.”

I could hear Rylee trying to get Dieter’s attention away from Tom, telling him I was on the phone.

“Did you fucking call her?” He sounded pissed and combative, which was not a tone he normally took with her.

She didn’t answer his question. “Talk to her please.”

I could hear the phone jostling around before he answered, his voice still sounding gruff, “Yeah, what is it?”

“What is it?” For a moment I was stunned and didn’t know how to respond at how he snapped at me. “That’s how you're answering? What’s going on?”

He ignored my question and instead fired off one of his own, tension in his words. “Did she call you?”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to get Rylee in trouble.

“No, I called because I haven’t heard from you in almost two days. I wanted to check in.”

He scoffed. “Check in? I’m a grown ass man, I don’t need you two babysitting me.”

“Whhaa? No. That’s…that’s not what I…”

“Look, I’m busy,” he interrupted me before I could say more. “The stunt coordinator needs me. I’ll call you later.”

I was shocked into silence. I didn’t know how to respond. He had never spoken to me like that before.

Rylee got back on the phone, sounding clearly uncomfortable as she must have overheard Dieter. “Heeeey, umm. I don’t even know what to say. That was weird.”

“I don’t know what to say either. I think… I’m gonna come back up there. Maybe it’s because he’s not sleeping.”

Rylee seemed to sigh in relief, but quickly recovered. “I’ll get a flight set up for you.”

“No, I can do that. Just, keep him out of trouble. I’ll see if I can get one for tomorrow.”

We hung up after that. I had to take a minute to pull myself together. I couldn’t let myself fall apart right now. Once I had a minute to gather my thoughts, I walked to my home office and fired up my desktop so I could start looking at flights. It was near 1:30 AM when my phone started ringing on my desk, it was Dieter. I was honestly surprised that he called.

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to him after our earlier exchange. I was hurt and upset with him. For a moment there was silence between us, but then Dieter cleared his throat as he finally spoke.

“I think we need to talk.”

I had that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. Those words were never good.

“I just booked a flight”, I said, trying to not grip the phone even harder than I was already doing, just to have something to hold on to. “I’m gonna come back up there tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you to do that.” His voice was tight as he strained to get the words out. It almost hurt me to listen. He didn’t sound right, not like this. Not like the Dieter I had known over the past months.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think this is working. It’s…”, he seemed to search for words. I could hear him moving things around; something scraping over a hard surface, the sound of ice cubes in a glass. “It’s a burden and it's inconvenient. Just don’t waste your time.” His speech sounded slightly slurred.

I took a deep breath to calm myself as I leaned my forehead against my hand that was propped on my desk. “Dieter. Don’t do this…please. Have you been drinking?”

“That doesn’t matter. I told you; I don't need you to babysit me.”

“I’m not, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you.”

He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “Look, where we’re filming, you’re not gonna be able to work,” he said, words rushing this time. “Aubrey isn’t gonna keep putting up with you taking time off. It’s not gonna work. It’s just not working.”

“What does that even have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, it just compounds the problem.” I could hear ice clinking against glass followed by him swallowing gulps of a beverage.

I shook my head, frustration and fear both thumping hard within my chest. “And what is the problem exactly?”

“We’re incompatible. We shouldn’t have to rearrange our lives to be together. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“What happened to doing whatever it takes to make this work?”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure I said I’d do whatever it takes to make you happy and I am,” he nearly snapped at me, following it up with some words in Spanish that sounded like a curse. “You’ll thank me for it later.”

“No, you said you were all in for this. You’re just gonna give up because it’s hard? Because it's a fucking burden to you?”, I said in disbelief. I leaned back in my chair, shaking my head. I could feel anger bubbling to the surface at his comment. “You think it’s been easy for me? I thought we were in this together. Why do you think you get to choose for me? Let me come up there so we can talk through this.”

“You’re not listening, I don’t have time for you right now.”

“Are you using drugs or something?”

“Why does everyone keep fucking asking me that?!?!”, he yelled in frustration. I could hear him throwing things around in the background. “No, I haven’t used drugs in a long fucking time. I’m completely aware of what I’m doing and saying.”

“Maybe it has to do with the way you're acting. Did you ever consider that? And I’m sorry for fucking caring.”

“Look, I don’t know what else to say. It’s not working, ok? We tried and it didn’t work. There are better options that are less work. No more burdens or inconveniences.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I need you out of my mind. There’s too much going on with it. It’s a burden.”

He just kept talking in circles. Half of it sounded like nonsense.

“What are you even saying? You’re not making sense.”

“I’m saying we’re done,” he interrupted me, his words sharp and feeling like they were stabbing right into my heart. “I can’t do it anymore. Does that make sense?”

I inhaled sharply, realizing he was set on his decision. My head was pounding, too many moments flashing through my mind as I tried to hold it together. I tried to sort out my thoughts to understand how we suddenly had gotten to this, and how to get through to him without being pushed away.

“Why did you have to find me? I would’ve been fine if you’d just let me fucking go after New York,” I finally whispered.

My voice shook as I spoke. The tears started to fall from my eyes in a way that I had never before experienced. My vision was completely blurred by it. Dieter had gone silent on the other end of the phone, so quiet that I could barely hear him breathe. The line hadn’t disconnected, so I knew he was still listening. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me fall apart, so I hung up.

I stood, making my way to the bedroom. I crawled into bed and bawled my eyes out. I did so until the early morning glow started to show around the edges of the curtains. When I realized the new day was making itself known, I felt livid that I stayed up all night crying over him. Determined to find sleep, I got up and went to the kitchen in search of alcohol. I knew I had a few bottles hidden away. I found what I was looking for shoved to the back of one of the upper cabinets. I went straight for the hard liquor. Taking a few swings as I headed back to bed. I didn’t plan on getting wasted, I just wanted enough to knock me out so I didn’t have to think about him anymore. I settled back into bed and shot Aubrey a quick text to let her know I was going to take a few days off. I gave no explanation, and she didn’t question me. Once the alcohol had time to kick in, slowing my racing thoughts and helping me relax, I finally fell asleep.

A/N: All right ya'll... so that happened. Our sweet Dieter is officially in full spiral mode and it's about to get a little crazy for both of them.

Questions to consider:

What do you think is going on with Dieter?

How are we feeling about his behavior?

How long do you think this spiral has been building?

How do you think Talia is going to handle this turn of events?

How are you feeling about the new characters? (Rylee, Tom, Chole)

Predictions?

Once you have had a minute to digest and share your thoughts for this chapter, jump on over to this post for part one of Deconstructing Dieter Bravo. This is a companion series I plan to do for the remaining chapters so that we can get a little more insight into what's going on in that mind of his. 😉

The chapter playlist and mood board are included below.

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