#life is too fucking good rn

[euphternal]

hi i love u hope u feel better 🥰

HEY BABYYY... first, i love u way and insanely more. and two, i am feeling insanely healed, happy, grateful, amazed, safe, assured and know my fucking worth.

i hope ur thriving (which i already damn well know u are) and feeling cunty (its because im constantly on loop, listening to renaissance)

#ᯓ euphternal ᡣ𐭩 #i cant even explain how happy i am rn #life is too fucking good rn

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

Ok but can we talk about the absolute horror of being watched and monitored 24/7 that the ancients must have had. The citizenship drones being like an Alexa that's constantly following and listening to you (except it's five pebbles and not Alexa lmao). The fucking OVERSEERS. THEY'RE CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THEIR CITIZENS AS WELL AS THE ENVIRONMENT ALL THE TIME. (I would talk about the fact that they all show arti fucking ads as well but honestly idk what else to say about that. Capitalism got yet another society 😔). That's some fucking nightmare fuel dystopian society settings we are being hinted at. You know the Big Brother Is Watching You thing. The book. Yeah that's what it reminds me of.

The Iterator Is Watching You.

#imagine not being able to escape being watched any second of your life #imagine being one of the first ancients who saw an iterator come into being #imagine being one of the first ancients who had to go live on top of them #imagine being one of the first amcients to be constantly scrutinized by the overseers #i bet they knew this wasn't really a good thing #no matter how religious they were. by the time of pebbles though they were far too religiously indoctrinated to realize this was bad #(as a society i mean. theres always some who disagree and figure out what's going on) #disclaimer i have never read the book i am talking about and only know it through references and pop culture. still tho yk what i mean #rain world #rainworld #rain world iterator #rw iterator #iterator #rw five pebbles #five pebbles #im tagging him too even tho hes only mentioned i wanna reach more ppl with this #pls i may not have said everything i wanted to say cause i cant get my thoughts straight rn but i want to hear what yall think about this #agh the whole situation is so fucked imagine being the Big Brother in this and not even having a choice in it. #imagine that everyone with critical thinking knows this and cant do anything about it. #not even mentioning the cataclysmic level rain the iterators brought. like dude who thought this was a good idea. #imagine all this + the end of the world and its ecosystem as you know it happening right before your eyes #and you cant even blame the person at fault that much bc they were literally fucking born into this #rw overseer #forgot this one #rw ancients

[cryptile]

There is literally NOTHING in the world that could have prepared me for the ammount of emotional turmoil HNOC live would cause me. IT ENDED. RIGHT BEFORE HANGED MAN RUSTS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. TEARS IN MY EYES. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS. I. JESUS, MAN. JESUS. COME OB. OH MY GOD. GOD. CHRIST.

#julian posting #im not kidding ive been crying about this for 5 minutes. help me im autistic #i feel so extremely edged #its not even funny #ok maybe a little #AAAAUUUUUGHHRHRHRH WAAAAHHH WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAH BRIAAN #BRIIIIIIAAAAAANNN WERRREHRHRHHDHDJJSKDJANMDKAKEKSKDJSKDJDJ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO #JELP #WAAAAHHHH #WAAAAAAAAGHHH #snf #its ok. its. #i got to see him. for like. a little bit. its ok #BANGING MY FISTS ON THE TABLE #WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH #Im never making fun of kpop girls ever in my life. i get it. i really do. i get it now #good lord #drumbot brian #hnoc #the mechanisms #high noon over camelot #raphaella in that video tho....... got damn.......... not elaborating further #jonny too #and marius. god #dont fucking talk to me rn jm processing. im #no do talk to me actually #but. WAASGRHSJRJAJJFJAJFJEJJDJDJDJSJFJRJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ineed-to-sleep]

ENDING SPOILERS FOR BG3 AHEAD

Hate that I found this scene kinda hot

#listen. evil nawen is absolutely a possibility #even tho it isn't my canon ok she's my dear little antihero and saved everyone <3 #but the way I made her she's like. in a pretty unpredictable mental state #she's come from a background of doing terrible shit as a shadow thief often against her will #and now bc of the tadpole she has time to breathe and decide what to do w her life for #reasons I won't go into rn bc it's a long story jfjfjkfkf #but basically she's in this dilemma of let yourself become The Worst(and go back to your organization post game) #or learn to be a better person again(and turn your back on the thieves even tho you will likely be hunted to death) #so she could really go either way depending on how the game goes and controlling the brain could rlly be a possibility for her #honestly even if she decided to turn her back on the thieves it could be a possibility #the power she'd have?? she'd never have to worry abt being hunted by them #but good path nawen would never 😔 she wouldn't sacrifice everything she's built #it's kinda sad to see her on her good path choosing this tho bc like. astarion's reaction?? #man looks so betrayed #in her evil path she would likely have ascended him and their relationship would already be too fucked up for her to care #but in this one?? that's just painful #sleep.txt #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #oc.nawen #but. even w all that. I am not above finding evil women hot 🫠 #goth mommy go evil brain go brrr ooga booga

[dogboner]

personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"

#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol #anyways personal time: #but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n #like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills #n my support network now #idk id be in a much worse place. #so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night #n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions #because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually! #growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore #it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore #sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide #and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed #but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself #n give myself time #n everything will be okay(: #bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too #growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time #it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol. #mine #despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself

[rapidhighway]

K I've been thinking about this for like a week now. Ignoring any immortal headcanons if you have them. Knuckles knows he's not going to be able to guard the Master Emerald forever and that probably troubles him, but, if he was dying do you think he'd ask Sonic to guard it? He's the person with a unique connection to Chaos and the Chaos Emeralds and he's basically chosen one the most specialest guy, and one of the few people Knuckles could trust with that duty.

Of course I think Sonic would say no. I think he'd never be able to do that and he wouldn't want to.

#lmao i think even if Knuckles was on his fucking deathbed Sonic would say no #like sure he's got a sense of duty but guarding the me would be absolute hell for him #and he's never really acknowledged if he even gets just how important Knuckles' job is #sure he gets some of it but he doesn't really care that much beyond knuckles cares deeply for SOME reason #and im not saying that as something negative i actually think good for him you know #bad for knux cause he'd be fucking tormented by that #it also makes me think about the conflict people like to write between them in forces fanfics #where knuckles didn't take care of tails enough and sonic gets pissed at him i think this is a great parallel #like i know a kid and a big magic rock aren't objectively the same thing but if you think about how it much it matters to knuckles #especially that it matters to him more than that too because it's literally his entire life #not giving the ME and knuckles' duty the acknowledgement it deserves is like saying he's wasted his life for nothing #ouough okay #sorry im in such knuckles angst mood rn pl if you have thoughts respond idk if im imagining all of this correctly gnjhgcsddgu #gimme some fuckin drama

[ye-xiu]

will i ever feel genuine joy about life again more often than once every six months or is this just it. like is this just going to be that for now.

#and i get the ‘it’s about small joy’ i live by that too but sometimes you just want to feel good about your life in general u know #sincerely feel like i fucked up one thing and now it’s just. ramifications of that forever and ever. well we will see i guess #one of the things is that what happened made it really really hard for me to talk to people and be a good friend again #and like wanting to talk about myself bc well the last time i did that it came down so horrendously i don’t know how to work through it rn #i am working through it but i feel like it will take months and years longer to come back to a state of myself where i feel genuinely good #i will unpack 2022 / 23 for years to come anyway just had to put this somewhere #gonna delete it later peace and love on planet earth #al.txt #tbd.

[soplapinga]

My hyperfixations rn are TADC and FNAF bouncing unstoppably between my rooms walls destroying everything tangible while I cry on my bed

#purgatory toys going for my troath #designing my tadc oc while rewatching ALL of markipliers fnaf gameplays rn. since the very 1st. #living the life YASS #vashwood and satosugu sometimes quietly creep in too and beat me to death then leave again for a max of an hour then come again and ...yeah #also klance #they just appear at 3am to scream fucking KILL yourself at my face and disappear #im sane #the amazing digital circus #five nights at freddy's #tadc #fnaf #fnaf fanart #THE FUCKING MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD BTW OH MY GOD #I WENT YESTARDAT AND “!&?-”(&RRRRRRRAH #ME AND MY BOYFRIEND WERE FULL TWITCHING IN OUR SEATS LIKE !!!!!!!! CINEMA HAS. FUCKING BEEN REBORN #I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BC MY 11YO SELF WAS CRYING SCREAMING FULL ON THEATER #BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY FUCKING LIFE #!!!!!!!!

[sso-montana]

Disco Night ҉( ‘ ω ’ )/҉

they're going to Fort Pinta Disco with Linda and Justin ( ˙꒳​˙ ) (it's a double date (Montana and Justin don't realize they're on a date together))

Lucy belongs to @mistfallenjoyer transparent version under the cut ^^

#sso #ssoblr #sso oc #my art #montana opalheart #others ocs #HI YES I'M SO FUCKING NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING THIS #i've never drawn a plus sized person before so this is my first time and actually really good practice but i'm terrified of messing it up l #I hope I did Lucy justice bc her style is IMMACULATE and I could not for the life of me decide on one outfit #Lucy and Linda are trying to set Mo and Justin up but those two are TOO STUPID to realize what's going on #also I forgot how to draw pandoric scars halfway through this so they're more messy than they should be quq #I had so many ideas on drawing those two together and originally wanted to do normal outfits but my brain was like WHAT IF #this was supposed to be a quick sketch #SKETCH #it got a life of it's own istg #i think lucy is like one of the few oc's that are actually smaller than mo LMAO #we love our short queens #star stable online #Linda and Justin are standing in a corner blushing like crazy rn

[alwaysneedyforsir]

back to bad habits (staying absurdly late at practice)

#like ok yes it was productive! #but it’s also almost ten pm and i’m only leaving now #ya girl’s still got to get home and finish her homework and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour #who knows tho i may stay up n bake cookies #honestly who needs sleep bffr #i am *killing* it rn on no sleep #promise!! #tired n hungry n fuckin beat up #the bruises i have on my body rn are ridiculous #plus somehow fuckin scratches?? #anyway my body’s fallin tf apart rn hehe oops #who wants to kiss my bruises better?? #taking applications rn #apply within w your qualifications n an essay of why you should be considered as an applicant #perks of the job include hugs n kisses whenever you want n probably when you don’t want #you also get a free use fuck toy who needs your attention on her all the fuckin time or she withers away n dies #n lots of flowers n books n chocolate too!! #honestly what’s a girl gotta do to get some flowers #good god idk how to shut tf up #whatever it’s not like i know how to shut up in real life anyway so #honestly if anyone’s read this far lmk bc that deserves a fuckin prize #(we can negotiate details of said prize if you don’t like my initial offer hehe) #me #my thoughts

[welcometoteyvat]

society moved on too quickly from furina's demo

#i think about the fontaine brawl that she imagined in her head sometimes like i feel like society needs more characters like that #ramblings! #also when she changes into pneuma form............ i've never seen something so fucking crisp in my life #the lights???? the music syncing?? it's like biting into a juicy apple cannot be topped #also the symbolism................... i was like 'hm. i actually dont really agree with that bilibili analysis video' after thinking it thr #through. <- also known as dumb behavior they almost predicted the entire 4.2 quest #tbh i feel like people also moved on too quickly from neuvis demo because that yellow field of grass is peak #i love when rando characters are dropped in the middle of nowhere contemplating existence #we also moved on too fast from ly.ney's story quest why do i keep seeing him in love with traveler #like his subtle threats to that woman... guys he's killed people dont make him just a flirt #dont mind me im just. replaying fontaine but in my head and via youtube trailers #actually something else is that while i still think most of the sumeru chars look a bit too much like they used skin bleach #the sequence right before nah.ida's burst where she's traveling through her own dreamscape is like. soo good im soooo.... #references her character story... full of whimsy and elegance.. visiting children while asleep etc.. knowledge spreading something somethin #i also always liked how the 2 children floating in front of that window looked like they were guarding the gates of wisdom or smth #like sentries in front of a library. but theyre kids so its less somber and more like. idk joyful. house of learning open to all etc. #in a character trailer appreciation mood rn ig

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right????? #this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh. #when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!! #idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy. #epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

[localrobosexual]

i think i'm gonna try one of those weekly meal prep delivery services because genuinely at this point trying to plan meals every week and setting aside the time to grocery shop and prep and cook and all that shit is really getting to me and it's not lookin good here folks lol

#words of meg #i would have done this sooner honestly but there's like this. weird shame that kept making me not #because my entire family cooks and can cook well and likes to do it #and i've grown up with like. not cooking and meal prepping for yourself is lazy and bad #but i just really don't enjoy cooking at all #and i'm struggling to get proper good nutrition because i don't know what to make #and trying to find new things to cook is far too taxing and time consuming for me rn #and plus if i fuck up a recipe or i cant find the right ingredients or if i don't like it #then i don't have anything to eat that week #and i'd go hungry #i can't afford that shit the stakes are way too high lmfao #sighs #i'm still trying to work thru the weird shit my family left me with tbh #it's not weak or bad or lazy to need or want these things. life shouldnt be hard. accommodations are not the devil

[berryblu-soda]

local silly goofer was seething with rage and dumped it all in the tags, read at your own risk :3 <- personal stuff, wrote this after the tags, pretty okay now, just got it out of my system, love yall <3<3<3

#BITE BITE BITE RAGE RAGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #<- same old same old ITS BEEN A FREAKING WHILE #my dad is so infuriating yall :D #i dont have it in me to hate him but boi? HES TRYING!!!!! #like; do you HEAR YOURSELF??? IS A SINGLE WORD THATS COMING FROM YOUR MOUTH BEING PROCESSED BY YOUR BRAIN???? #YOU PRIDE YOURSELF IN ALWAYS BEING THE SMARTEST ONE IN THE ROOM #sure; intelligence wise; probably; but emotionally? a speck of dust outnumbers you- #WINNING AN ARGUMENT FOR THE SAKE OF BEING RIGHT WITHOUT REGARD FOR ANYONE ELSE- #THINKING EVERYONE SHOULD BE AS COLD AS YOU; AND IF THEYRE NOT; IF GOD FORBID THEY SHOW TOO MUCH EMOTION #THEN PHYSICAL ABUSE IS JUSTIFIED?? #THAT´S NOT A GOOD FUCKING ARGUMENT!!!! #NOT EVERY ARGUMENT HAS TO BE WON; YOU DONT ALWAYS NEED THE UPPER HAND!!!! #the shitty way you were treated and raised should not be my fucking problem and i hope you get therapy about it #and then i´ll regret not being closer to him whenever he dies; but hes making it unmeasurably hard to consider being vulnerable #AGHHH- #this man has never apologized for a single thing is his damn life btw :3! #vent #*inhale* #sorry yall i´m good; just full of rage rn :D! #i spilled a cup of juice at church today and things got waay out of hand lmaoo

[grmpgm]

ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t. #so i won’t be i guess. #and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully? #i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place. #i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!) #it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

[orcelito]

As for my post this morning. If anyone was worried. Me personally I'm okay (I guess) but my dad's in the hospital and things r still very up in the air. So.

#speculation nation #bracing myself for the possibility of Major Grief.....2!!!! #well actualy more like 3 or 4 or 5 (lol lol lol) #but likely the worst one bc it's. my dad. that's my dad. #i left work early to visit him at the hospital. hes stable rn at least (he wasnt this morning) #he wasnt conscious though. and i really really hope he ends up okay #but. i still saw my dad unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to like a million tubes and #thats my dad. Thats my Dad. #im really trying to not do my processing until after i know for sure how things are gonna go #dont wanna start grieving until after he's officially gone #so im trying not to think about it. but it's still... yeah. unpleasant. #and theres a part of me thats so so resentful. if i have to have a dead parent why would it be the Good one? #take my fucking mom instead. hell my life would even be BETTER without her. horrible as that is to say. #but it's my dad. he's not perfect. he has his flaws. but he's still tried in a way she never ever did. #seeing him like that makes me feel so... small. makes me remember being picked up by him. #makes me remember riding on the back of his harley as a tiny little 10 year old with a helmet that was giant on me #we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad. #sorry. this is probably too real for my tumblr dot com. it's just been... a lot today. #negative/ #death/ #hospitals ment/ #idfk. sorry