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dansphlevels · 6 years

Text

Aced It

Day 10 of 12 Days Of Prompts

Summary: Dan and Phil are in the process of pursuing a relationship. There’s only one issue: Dan’s asexual and doesn’t want to get physical with Phil but has no idea how to tell him.

Length: 2.5k words

The time had come. It was time for the first kiss.

And Dan really shouldn’t be dreading it so much.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Phil- no, the problem was that he did. But he just didn’t like expressing it in the ways that most people did.

That meant kisses, that meant those weird neck things- what were they called? Hickies? Dan hated having people touch his neck. Have someone bite it? No thanks.

And the other things that people in relationships did, the touchy kissy naked stuff that involved lots of weird noises and sweat. Or so he’d heard. So far, Dan had managed to avoid.... that.... and he wanted to keep it that way.

And, to clarify, Dan knew what sexual intercourse was. He wasn’t innocent. He’d done his fair amount of research when he was twelve and thought that sleeping with a girl was part of the job description of being a man. Then, later in life, he’d done more research- this time, on what his job would be if he were to sleep with a man.

He wasn’t sure whether he’d be a top or a bottom. Frankly, neither sounded fun to him. All the porn he’d watched made everything look so uncomfortable and unnatural, and above all exhausting. The only times Dan wanted to sweat was when it was hot outside and when he played Wii Sports. And even then he didn’t really want to sweat.

All of these thoughts flashed through Dan’s mind as he waited for Phil to come over. He was over five minutes late, which seriously was an issue because Dan really shouldn’t be left with his thoughts.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door and Dan practically leaped off of the couch and threw himself at the door, opening it in such a hurry Phil's eyes widened in surprise. "Hey!" He squeaked.

"Hey!" Dan replied, a little too enthusiastically. "You can, um, come in I guess!"

Most people would have found Dan awkward. But Phil just laughed, as if it was endearing. That’s why Dan liked him. And yes, Dan did like Phil, that’s why he’s agreed to this fourth date. If anything, he liked him a little too much.

Oh look, we’re back to the Problem(TM). Dan was ace. And he was dating someone. And that someone would probably get tired of just talking and holding hands soon.

Dan had heard that the fourth date was supposed to be special because that’s when most people hooked up for the first time. Or was it the third date? Maybe it was third in the United States, fourth in the U.K.? Either way, it seemed way too soon to Dan. But then again, hooking up with someone in 100 years seemed too soon to Dan.

He and Phil were on their fourth date, the one where they were supposed to hook up, and they hadn’t even kissed before.

Dan hurried over to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. "Yeah! Can I get you anything to drink, or-"

"Just a Ribena, if that’s okay."

Dan slumped against one of the shelves. Phil even liked Ribena? How was Dan supposed to break up with him now?

"No problem," he said through gritted teeth. Then, back in his normal tone, "What do you want to do? We could play video games, or watch a movie-"

"I actually brought a board game," Phil said, a little awkwardly. "I know some people don’t like playing board games, so if you don’t want to-"

"I like board games." Dan fetched a glass from the kitchen cupboard, pouring the dark red drink into it.

"Oh good." Phil's voice was a little higher than usual. "Cause if you didn’t, this probably wouldn’t work. I really like board games."

Suddenly, Dan wondered if he could take it back. No, I actually hate board games! Get out of my flat!

And what was the Problem(TM) with that? Oh yes. Dan /liked/ Phil. He was sweet. He was fun to be around. And he was really, really cute, in the way that a puppy is cute or a particular piece of nature is aesthetically pleasing. Less of I want to bone you and more of I want to take lots and lots of pictures of you.

So Dan didn’t lie and say that he hated board games, because 1) a board game actually sounded pretty fun right now, and 2) as much as he lied to himself, he really didn’t want to kick Phil out of his apartment. Maybe kissing wouldn’t be so bad?

Luckily, kissing seemed to be the last thing on Phil’s mind. He got out the game and set it up, and they played for what felt like half an hour but was actually significantly longer. Halfway through, Dan made some popcorn; half of which ended up in their stomachs, and the other half ended up on the floor. Popcorn was a good projectile for when you had a bad turn and had to go back a few spaces, and it was even better at practicing trick shots. They tried to throw the popcorn up and catch it in their mouths, and when that didn’t work, tried throwing it into the other person’s mouth. The best was when the other person wasn’t aware they were still playing. Phil almost choked when he was halfway through a turn and had a piece of corn chucked down his throat. Then, he was too busy laughing to hear Dan’s apology.

When they finished up the board game, it was already dark outside. Phil gave Dan a look he couldn’t read, like letting him make a choice.

"Have you ever played Final Fantasy? I have the new one if you want to try."

Both questions were soon answered. Yes, Phil had played it before, yes, he’d like to play, and no, it was not okay when Phil beat him. Dan pouted, declaring that Phil was cheating. Phil laughed and declared Dan a sore loser.

Dan could feel the game begin to get boring. Phil seemed less interested and didn’t mind losing so much.

"You have work tomorrow?" Phil asked.

"No." The word slipped out of Dan’s mouth before he gave it permission to. He knew what that question meant, and he’d just given the wrong answer. "You?"

"Nah, I don’t work on Fridays. Do you like horror movies?"

Yes, Dan liked horror movies, and that’s exactly what he said.

"Do you want to watch one? There’s a few that I’ve been meaning to see forever."

So they watched a horror movie. After going through and considering for a while, they finally decided on a classic that neither of them had seen: the original Friday the 13th.

As they curled up on the couch, Dan’s mind raced, trying to figure out the signals he was putting down. Was he being too open? He and Phil sat on the couch, with Dan leaning against Phil’s side and resting his head on his shoulder.

They watched the movie for a while. It could hardly be called a horror movie- there was the blood and the murder, but the fear just wasn’t there. Dan and Phil spent most of it laughing and making fun of the characters.

"Yes, you should definitely have sex right there," Phil agreed as they watched two characters lay down a blanket and begin to tug each other’s clothes off. "That’s a great idea."

Dan cringed, leaning harder against Phil and pulling the blanket up to his face.

Phil noticed this, saying "Don't tell me you find this part scary!"

"I don’t," Dan admitted honestly. "I just find it gross."

"Gross?"

Dan realized what he’d said. "I mean, it’s just weird. Like, I don’t want to see two people in a movie getting it on like that. It feels... invasive." It wasn’t technically a lie. It did feel invasive. "Why? Does it like... turn you on?"

Phil snorted, watching with amusement as the characters in the movie were stabbed to death, screaming dramatically and altogether failing to run away. "Does blood and guts turn me on? No, not quite."

"No, the um... the..."

"The sex scene?"

"Yeah."

Phil laughed again. "No, badly written characters making out in ugly clothes does not turn me on. Why? Are you into it?"

Dan stared at the screen, bringing the blanket up to hide part of his face. "No."

"Yeah, it'd probably be weird if it did."

They watched the movie until the jumpscare at the end, which made both of them flinch in surprise. Then it was over, and they turned it off, leaving them cuddling on a couch in the dark.

Dan got up, annoyed at the loss of warmth. "I’ll turn the lights on."

"Is that a scented candle?" Phil asked, his voice getting a little more excited.

"Yeah. It’s Beachwood."

"Oh, can you light it! I love scented candles, I’m kind of addicted!"

Dan laughed, flicking the lighter that was sat near it and lighting it. He carried it over to the coffee table in front of the couch and hurried back to cuddle with Phil where it was warm.

He quickly tucked the blanket around him, trying to snuggle up to Phil’s side without being too obvious. "Cozy?" Phil asked in amusement.

"Yes. Let me seep out your warmth, blanket daddy."

Dan really needed to get a filter.

Luckily, like most awkward things Dan did, Phil found it funny. They talked for a little while as the candle burned, still the only light source in the room beside the windows that displayed the nightlife of London.

But soon, the conversation ran out. It was almost as if they both had something on their minds.

Dan looked up at Phil. He was attractive, even if it was in that 'aesthetically pleasing' way. Maybe, if Dan just kissed him and got it over with, then they didn’t have to end whatever it was they’d started just yet? Dan liked being around him. He wanted to be around him more. What’s one little kiss?

Phil turned towards him too. The two of them were still wrapped in the warm blanket, the mixture of that and their shared body heat making it the perfect heat. How had Dan found himself in this position? Sitting on a couch with Phil, at night, with a burning candle on the table? God, how had he set himself up like this?

Phil was looked at him. He was smiling softly, and Dan watched as he parted his lips, wetting them slightly.

Dan, unfortunately, had fallen for Phil. He didn’t know how that worked, but he had, and we wanted to continue to be around this boy. And that meant he had to play the part.

Before Phil could make the first move, Dan pushed himself forwards, practically slamming into Phil’s face with his own. Their lips touched, and Dan tried to kiss like he’d seen in the movies. He moved his head a bit, so their noses weren’t pressed up against each other, and opened his mouth a little and closed it. He decided this was right when he heard that little kissy noise like you always heard when people kissed.

Phil kissed back, sort of. Dan still wasn’t sure what the big deal about all of this was. Why was everyone so obsessed with kissing? It was fine, Dan supposed, but he much preferred cuddling and throwing popcorn at each other.

Dan tried to keep going for as long as he could, but finally, he pulled back, not able to take it for any longer. He immediately wiped the back of his mouth with his hand, before he could think that that might be considered rude.

Dan looked at the floor. A few seconds passed in silence, with neither of them speaking. Dan knew what must be running through Phil’s head now- probably floor plans of Dan's flat, trying to figure out the fastest way they could get to his room and on his bed. Dan imagined more of the haphazard making out, followed by awkward undressing and... ew.

Finally, he looked up. Phil was staring at the floor, just as he had been, looking more uncomfortable than aroused. "I’m sorry Dan," he finally said. "But I haven’t been completely honest with you. I don’t really, um..."

Dan’s senses were suddenly on high alert. You don’t really what? Like popcorn? Like me? "You don’t really what?"

Phil cleared his throat, forcing himself to look at Dan. His lips were slightly redder than usual from the kissing. "I’m... uh... I’m ace. That’s, erm, asexual. I’m sorry, I should have told you, but I really liked hanging out with you and this is really nice with the candles and stuff but I just-"

Alarm bells were ringing in Dan’s head. A voice spoke through a megaphone, calling out Alert! Alert! You misheard him! You misunderstood! Alert!

Dan blinked. "What?"

Phil covered his face with his hands. "I really am sorry! I just don’t like kissing and sex, I know I should have been honest-"

"Yeah, you should have!" Dan's voice possessed a type of anger he hadn’t really planned for. "If you’d told me earlier, I wouldn’t have been so worried these past few days! And then we wouldn’t have had to have that God-awful kiss!"

Phil’s eyes went wide in horror. "Wait, you mean-"

"I’m ace too, you burnt piece of toast! Why the fuck did we just kiss then?"

Phil's horror melted into laughter, louder and longer than it had been any time earlier in the night. "I don’t know! You’re the one who kissed me!"

"Only cause I thought you were going to kiss me!" Now Dan was laughing too, painful laughter that was half laughing and half sobbing.

"Why would you think that?!" Phil was holding his chest in pain, wheezing with laughter.

"I don’t know, cause we’ve been dating?"

Phil managed to calm down a little, his tone slightly serious, though he was still grinning. "No offense to you, but um... I really don’t want to kiss. Like ever."

"Fine with me." Dan leant back against the couch, sighing wistfully. "What now?"

Phil considered this. "Well, we could keep dating, or whatever it’s called. But no kissing."

"Please. And, just clearing the air, no... up... sleeping together?"

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah. That."

"I agree." Phil carefully picked up Dan’s hand, intertwining it with his own. "Is cuddling okay with you? Hand holding?"

"Yes and yes."

Phil smiled. "This might actually work."

Dan smiled too, rubbing the back of Phil's hand with his thumb. "Yeah. This could work."

And somehow, it did.

Let me know how I did. I am not ace, so I hope that I represented it well; I wanted to show a slightly different perspective, and know it was a little risky because generally, ace people are seldom shown in media as still having relationships. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you are ace, let me know how accurate I got it :)

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