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#like if it's of me whatever ill do a funny lil pose but when it's with ppl it's like i hate it here
jrueships · 2 years
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THE ADDAMS FAMILY FIT !!!
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jalen... your shorts ...
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Sarazanmai 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 2 - 7 | OPM 2 2 - 7 | BSD 3 3 - 6 | Demon Slayer 4 - 7 | Shield Hero 17 - 20
I’ll be rolling out the tags around about the time of this post.
Sarazanmai 3
Kisu = kissu (kiss). Update: Or kisu (on the right side of my equation). You do you, subbers.
Goma-ae.
Gomennassara! (Oh, I get it…!)
It never occurred to me that a “micanga” was a bead or small pierced round object of some sort. I thought it was a race track sort of thing, but for soccer. Update: It’s a bracelet/anklet thing.
Wait, so what brought on this change of heart from Kazuki??? Is it like the 1st episode, where it was a daydream that was cleverly presented as real? Update: Yep.
Oh…have you noticed all the victims of Reo and Mabu’s scheme are men of the NEET/freeter age, or approaching that?
Notably, the signature pose of the Sarazanmai seems to be similar to the one Kazuki and Enta did in the soccer team.
I find it interesting that Enta is now the initiator of the Sarazanmai and thus the one to steal the shirikodama. I mean, he used to be the one with the least stakes in the Dish of Hope scenario…and now look at him!
Ooh, Toi is sharpening his ruler! (Or whatever you do in Touken Ranbu with that lil’ beater of his.)
Oh wait, I forgot Ikuhara always has a last-minute twist! Go back, go back!
It seems like Haruka has some kind of illness…hmm. Update: Oh, it’s not an illness per se…spoke too soon.
Haruka’s talking about the Little Prince…hmm. Last time I really bothered to engage with that story in any form was Star Driver.
Fruits Basket 2
I don’t think I ever really chose a side on the Kyo vs Yuki debate, but I guess I always subtly sided with Yuki (even though the end pairing is Tohru and *bleep*). <- sorry, had to censor myself
“It’s important for me to get to school every day!”
Kabedon! Eeeeee! (LOL, I really am a squealy person at heart, aren’t I?)
The writing says “she misheard [what Yuki said] as ‘being sick’”, so it was quite lucky that the word “sickened” worked in context.
Yuki has some mad ninja skills…LOL.
Shigure in a suit looks goooooooooood, man (<- gender neutral use of “man”).
“…the days ahead will be fun.” – Oh, Tohru, you don’t know how wrong you are…(says someone who completed the manga)
Fruits Basket 3
I’m hearing the OP for the first time…and it sounds like an ED. (Probably because I read some impressions that said the same thing earlier today.)
“…included in the zodiac?”
Ooh! Momiji! Wait, er…I didn’t expect him to be so high-pitched…
Lookit the tiny cat icon on the side! It’s cute!!!
*yells* It’s Kagura!!!!!!!! She ain’t my favourite, but man, is it great to see another familiar face!
I’ve been wondering what the title meant when it said “what year is she?” It means “year of the zodiac”.
Fruits Basket 4
“Shii-chan”…?
Kyo-kun ran away before Kagura even started making dinner…
Was Kyo’s katsudon a joke…? (Cats-udon, geddit?...No?)
“…marriage is a girl’s greatest dream.” – That used to be so, Tohru…nowadays, it ain’t.
Lookit how Kyo’s eyes lit up when he talks about his teacher!
OPM 2 2
That title’s…even more counterintuitive than “OPM 2 1”…hmm.
It’s…kind of dark right now.
I think there was bourbon on the counter. Someone likes to drink around here…
I guess with the mass animation exodus, OPM seems kinda…monologue-y. And cheap…
…nope, I take back my words. They were merely saving up for this action scene.
BSD 28 (S3 Ep 3)
Seriously, what are those metal things Dazai was wearing? Anyways, I like how it’s absolutely the norm that Chuuya swears now and I was part of forming that. Because I don’t swear a lot, I think Chuuya makes a nice outlet for my own frustrations...that’s what could be said, anyway.
D’aww. Someone acknowledges Chuuya’s identity. Ain’t that grand? (Now you see why I like Chuuya more than Dazai these days, huh?)
Come to think of it…a person hasn’t died in this show for a while, have they? It just goes to show you that despite one of its major stars being a guy obsessed with shinjuu (double suicide), the creators seem to be emphasising the sanctity of life itself.
Oh, I never thought they had an explanation for Dazai’s coat…
What is the age difference between Chuuya and Dazai anyway??? They’re both 15 during the LN that’s called that, but the exact difference…what is it? Update: Dazai’s birthday is June 19th and Chuuya’s is April 29th, so the difference is 1 month and 21 days (using the idea that 7 days = a week and May is 30 days, that’s 51 days in all).
Ooh, we’re getting Fyodor, Ace and the unnamed kid soon, aren’t we? That also means we’re in unknown territory for myself, too…hmm.  
OPM 2 3
When did Saitama last meet Charanko anyway? Charanko is voiced by Toshiki Masuda, so I would’ve kept an eye out for him, but the art shift and the years between seasons mean I don’t remember anymore.
Oof, “justice crashed Mumen Rider’s head” is more like it.
CGI banana…Just saying “CGI banana” is funny.
Kimetsu no Yaiba 4
Headpats, headpats all around!
Hooo…boy. I already knew Sabito and Makomo were dead because Crow and Irina’s collab post was called “The Names of Dead Children”, but how it was delivered…was such a powerful move.
I saw the blonde boy who’s in the OP…hmm. Update: His name is Zenitsu, according to the next-ep preview.
OPM 2 4
When comparing this dissection of monsters against Mob Psycho…the biggest monster Mob has is himself…hmm.
I didn’t expect Saitama to actually enter under Charanko’s name with that wig he got…
“…name as a martial artist.”
Mojo for the dojo, it seems this man wants.
I think the centipede senpai is CGI. Hmm…
It’s been years…I’ve forgotten what Ponytail Head’s name is! (And I call OPM one of my favourite series in anime…!)
Sarazanmai 4
“Writers exist between life and death.” – …is Ikuhara expressing his own thoughts on how anime writers are treated…?
I anticipate a soba pun (soba = noodles and soba = beside [someone]).
“…gives a s***…” – Says you, Toi, with the “Golden Poop” in the background. Then again, that’s just an English pun. Don’t mind me.
Comic Sans…you can’t escape it, even in this day and age…
Yude = to boil, soba…is the noodles. (The “o” on the end of the Monster of the Week’s first name means “man”.) Ikuhara uses Monster of the Week names in service of symbolism, while Takamatsu uses inconsistency for the sake of humour.
Intetestingly, there’s a spiralling blue thing in the background of the dance number and it says “soba” (katakana) and “desire” (yokubou, in kanji).
The headline translates to “Tragedy! It was next to me, but then…” (Kigeki! Sakki made soba ni ita noni…) The subbers had to accommodate the soba pun though, so they went with “so bar away”.
Hmm…now Toi takes centre stage…
2007, huh? How old are Kazuki and co. again?
This is probably the least surprising secret of all, y’know. Also, I think Keppi and Kazuki have cucumbers in their mouths.
They have subs for Stand By Me now!!! Oh mai globbb!
W-Wuh?! I can see why he’d hate Haruka (feelings of “why don’t my parents look at me the way they look at him anymore?”), but…this really turns this entire story on its head!
Kimetsu no Yaiba 5
Interestingly, the “My” in the episode title is Onore (an “I” indicating professionalism).Come to think of it…what is Tanjiro’s pronoun of choice?
Aww…the fact Tanjiro kinda looks like the demon’s (previous body’s…?) bro made the scene kinda cute. Possibly, it could be even enough to drive someone to tears…not that I was driven to tears, of course.
Well, here’s Zenitsu.
This angry kid reminds me of Mike Teevee (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He seems like a rival, but he’ll disappear soon enough. Also, LOL, a sparrow instead of a crow.
“…my whole body hurts.” – Welp, that’s what happens when you lose sleep fighting demons for 7 days straight…
Why the obvious names? (re: Haganezuka – that is, hagane means “steel”…also, Nichirin contains the character for “sun” (at least, I think so…?) and Yoko can be understood to be/homophonous to the word for “sunlight”)
Tanjiro, son of Tanjuro…LOL. That was probably deliberate – it means the first son follows in the father’s footsteps.
For some reason, I wanted Haganezuka to pop out of the comic for the next-ep preview…aww.
Shield Hero 17
How many times did Fitoria say “I’m going to kill the heroes” and Naofumi say variants of “no”? Because of that, I had half a mind to jump ship and head to RobiHachi instead…but keep going.
That cowlick stuff was probably the most fun I’ve had with this show in a while…heh.
Oh great…Naofumi expanded his pseudo-harem to two bird waifus…then again, I had a stupid grin on my face seeing Fitoria’s old master, so maybe it’s not all bad, y’know?
Post-credits scene…keep watching!
Wah-wait…what the heck was that explosion???!!!
BSD 29 (S3 Ep 4)
That’s…Topaz (unofficial name)…ohhhhhhhh dear…
Oooh, Katai! Katai! Yay!!! (As you can tell, I had a very small thing for Katai. He reminds me of En-chan, y’see.)
The CGI in this OP…you can tell there’s quite a bit of it, huh?
It’s Deadmau5 (as the fandom used to joke)!
Fyodor’s eyes of disgust as Topaz dries his hair…hmm.
Older Topaz looks surprisingly like Oda…I don’t remember that exact shot, but it might’ve been in the manga. His background also reminds me of Chuuya’s.
OPM 2 Ep 4 (OPM 18)
“Irksome insect”…says the giant insect.
I think I saw a 7-11 pastiche in the background.
Why does the bird have a human hand in his belly? What??? (LOL)
This tournament arc don’t feel so hype, now that MHA’s is over…
Someone likes Donkey Kong… (referring to Marshal Gorilla and the other Kong guy (Heavy Kong))
Sarazanmai 5
…oh wow. Y’mean Kazuki is adopted???
“Why don’t you say anything, even though you know about me now?” (from Toi) – Probably because Kazuki is as f***ed up as you are, if not worse.
What are those sparkles coming off Sara’s face…? Not sure if they’re a shoujo thing or just…gratuitous sparkles.
LOL, Nioino Fukuro. Basically “pouch of scent” when you insert a space between the second I and the second N and change the first name kanji, plus change the “no” to hiragana.
I know the title of the song is Kawausoiya (translates to “awful otters” or something like that), but “soiya” doesn’t make much sense on its lonesome.
Wait…does that mean Sara is the creature? Or there are two Saras that can look the same, but one looks like the human and one is more kappa-like???
For some reason, I’m getting changeling vibes here…that Kazuki wants to look different to the rest of his family because he knows he’s different.
Hey…there’s this thing called the tourist gaze. It argues that because people create notions of reality differently, people have different ideas of what makes a trip “good” and “authentic”. In the same sense, Haruka’s “false” connection with Kazuki!Sara has become his reality, so it’s not wrong to say this Sara is real for him.
Oh…I just realised some kanji that appar early in the OP are the kanji for “extraction”.
So, uh…in a sense…can I interpret Kazuki’s love for his real mother a Fruedian thing? It seems all men’s love can be interpreted to be Freudian in some way or another…also, Sara kind of looks like his mother in a very “surface” kind of way. That is, they have a very passing resemblance to each other. Update: I’ve been reading some Stephen King lately and if I took anything away from that experience, it would be that everything is Freudian when it comes to men’s experiences. That’s why I say that.
Kimetsu no Yaiba 6
…*remembers something from the collab that was along the lines of “Astral doesn’t like Tanjiro’s green jacket”* Astral’s not gonna like this, then. (For those who don’t know the context, “Astral” is AstralGemini of the Zodiac Room.)
*Tanjiro is told he might not go very far with his demon slaying* *Tanjiro reacts with happiness that he’s on his way to get Nezuko human again* - Uh…I know I’ve watched my share of shonen, but I kind of didn’t expect that and yet also did.
Ugh…it’s the return of CGI Tanjiro…the vegie patch looks good in CGI though, for some reason.
Lemme guess…with a title like that (Swordsman Accompanying a Demon), could it be that Kazumi is a demon???
“I don’t get it at all.” – LOL…that was unintentionally funny (for the second time in this show, the first being Hand Demon).
BSD 30 (S3 Ep 5)
Moby Dick crashing into Yokohama? It was literally years ago for us!
I’m pretty sure these Park guys didn’t exist in the manga. Update: Nope, they did. I’ve read the corresponding chapter, it’s just that that was also 2 years ago…just like the last we saw of the anime.
I love how the “gyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” ended in blood splatter, literally.
The Park guys apparently come from ch. 44 but Katai comes from ch. forty…what? One? Two? It’s not 40 (Hitori Ayumu), that’s all I know.
Katai is a good boy. You’ll see why in…oh, a few seconds.
Oh, I love the ending of this story. I already know the ending, but seeing it again will be a whole new bag of laughs!
Uh…I forgot how much of an interruption the anime’s humour is. My dream of a “whole new bag of laughs” is at least half dashed…*shoulders slump*
Apparently Atsushi cut his hair himself…not sure if that’ll be a spoiler for later, but it’s still something cool to know.
“So it’s your letter?”
Katai is basically me when it comes to my husbandos. See why I love him???
Come to think of it…I haven’t properly listened to the ED yet! Better do that while I still have the chance.
Fruits Basket 5
Shigure is such a troll…just like I remember him.
Fruits Basket 6
Hatori! Ooh! He’s hottttttt! Sizzling!...Okay, I think you get my point already…
I think someone else (Amelia from A Girl and Her Anime…?) pointed this out…but I don’t understand a speck of German outside 1 – 10 (I remembered the German word for “six” way too well when I was younger). So it would help if they bothered to make the German English as well.
For some reason, the stick figure was both obviously a cost-cutting measure and also elevated the hilarity of that scene…!
I don’t quite know what the Japanese equivalent of the “macaroni and cheese” thing was, but it conveys the same idea in the two languages and makes people laugh along the way, so…*shrugs shoulders* Makes sense, I guess.
Tohru is kandou about meeting an author. Kandou means to be deeply moved (noun form).
LOL, Hanajima reading the book.
…Oh my goodness. I just realised Fruits Basket has a lot of characters with fringes. 90s fringes for everyone!
“…a cartoon about a cat and a rat that are always fighting…” - Come to think of it, Tom and Jerry is popular in Japan.
Shield Hero 18
I think this episode title ends in inbou, which means “intrigue”.
This show is clearly trying to play the same cards over and over again…
Shield Hero 19
Hypocrites! Hypocrites everywhere! *does Buzz Lightyear hand gesture from the meme*
OPM 19 (S2 Ep 6)
The reason the fat guy is called Dave is not just because of B/V confusion, but because debu (without the line in the middle) is a slang word for…wait for it…”fatty”.
Interestingly, Murata previously worked on a oneshot called Gokiburi Buster. I wonder if this Cockroach Boi is from there…?
Did you notice the guys behind the umpire, who had a stretcher at the ready…?
“Mr Saynuthin” seems to be “Nanmoien-san” in Japanese.
“Waganma” seems to be a play on wagamama, or selfish. However, I can’t pin down the pun in the father’s name...
Well, well, well…at least someone acknowledges Speed of Sound Sanic (the ninja, not the CGI abomination or the monkey) is hecka-speedy.
Charanko (the real one)…he has ashi no ura (the back of the foot) written on his bandages…LOL.
Sarazanmai 6
Apparently Kazuki’s (foster) family all wear the same kind of stripes…which is what Kazuki means when he doesn’t want to wear the same kind of clothes as his family.
Okay…so the first set of kanji that appear in the OP are the one for “desire” and the ones after that are “extraction”…geddit? (LOL)
Oh my glob…how in the name of Iyami does Osomatsu-san get so popular that after I watched the first season of that show, it starts appearing in other places as well????
I saw a translation of the Reo and Mabu tweets and apparently at least one of them can make ningyoyaki (a type of cake you can make in all sorts of shapes – scroll down a bit on that page and you’ll find the description of ningyoyaki there).
Uhh…ghh…Keppi pole dancing was disturbing…*soul floats out of body temporarily*
Reo (I think that’s Reo, at least) has ningyoyaki…Update: Yup, that’s Reo.
“Headdress”, huh?
Why does this episode 6 feel like ending material…?
Wait…you’re saying Reo and Mabu are princes of the otter kingdom??? Wuh???
BSD 31 (S3 Ep 6)
(Lucy blushes) Wow…now there’s an option for a het ship right there…not that anyone will take it.
I saw a GIF of Atsushi floating naked and face down in the water (because Irina), but…I forgot exactly how the scenario before it went, so I LOLled.
Oh yeah…this chapter had a tie-in with Mizuki Tsujimura, because Mizuki knew Kyoka’s mother. Also, it shows you can inherit Abilities…
It’s Truck-kun and the curse of the isekai!...Okay, I’m kidding.
Oh yeah…this is the chapter about the Headmaster…
I haven’t been in a good place mentally for the past few years or so, due to my world basically fragmenting around me, so the words “don’t hate yourself” are strong ones coming from a place both nostalgic and new.
Dazai inherits a particularly interesting space in Atsushi’s life. He’s like a brother and father wrapped up into one (Kunikida is the nagging mother in that analogy, LOL), but also obsessed with suicide to the point he can also be a liability.
“…didn’t tell anyone…”
It’s also interesting to compare Tohru (of Fruits Basket) and Atsushi. They’re both selfless, but Tohru’s selflessness is shown to be a double-edged sword while Atsushi’s gives him a lot of resentment but is overall a positive thing.
Aww…seeing Atsushi slowly tear up almost made me tear up too…
Fitzgerald Rising…that’s the name of the chapter where…oh, sorry. It’s been years, so I’ll let it all play out for you and me again without mentioning any spoilers until they happen in (close to) real time in the show, okay?
Fruits Basket 7
This is the first time there’s been English lyrics on the OP for this show…I think.
Who’s this “he” Tohru’s referring to when examining the woman’s picture? Akito, probably, but I’m not 100% sure…Update: It was Hatori, actually.
“Shii-san”, “Haa-san” etc. is…cute. *cue “O kawaii koto…” from Kaguya-sama*
I get the feeling that Shigure is almost like a prototype Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs). Or they just have a lot in common.
“Are these my just desserts?”
Demon Slayer 7
Nezuko’s playing whack a mol-er, demon, isn’t she??? (LOL)
Whoa…it must be mighty freaky to be floating in a swamp of dead people’s possessions…
Welp, Tanjiro…that’s one way to say “hands off my sister”. *nods* By cutting the demon’s hands off…
I like the contrast between Tanjiro’s callused hands and Kazumi’s smooth ones.
Hey…why does food always get wasted in movies and other media…? I know I’m applying real-life consumption habits to media, but it always looks quite wasteful, y’know…?
OPM 20 (S2 Ep 7)
I never noticed that shot of Watchdog Man in the OP before…huh.
Pig God’s shirt says DEV. It’s a pun on debu (fatty)…again.
Ooh! I saw him in the OP! Flashy Flash! I’ve never seen him in action outside the OP before, but I know his name and appearance from reading around.
“You all are the strongest swordsmen we have.”
Seriously, Saitama, just get something to stick the wig on and you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Maybe superglue…(okay, I’m kidding about the superglue).
OPM got really childish this time… 
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youxidol · 6 years
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DATING GTOP
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★they’ll drive you to the brink of insanity
★or will act as if you’re the most precious gem in the world
★you’re treated like royalty     
★you never go to the same place twice for a date  
★each day they have their ten minutes of silliness
★where they either run around your home
★or jump on you and tickle you
★or where one of them pins you down while the other blows raspberries on your stomach
★no matter which ones
★it’s always filled with laughter 
★your own cheerleaders  
★if you ever feel bad about yourself
★or say something negative about yourself  
★honey you better put that lil peach of yours in a seat  
★and prepare for them to give you a god damn presentation on the following:   
★how kind you are
★how funny you are
★how loving you are
★how much they love you
★how much happiness you bring into their lives
★how you’re the most stunning thing their eyes have ever seen 
★it’s constantly been updated
★they let you wear their clothes
★scrap that
★they entourage you to wear their clothes
★’why would i wear a three grand shirt to lay in bed and watch tv all day?’
★’because you’ll be so cute and cozy’
★when you do wear their clothes
★3428394234 pictures are taken
★’leave me alone!’
★’one more!’
★’you said that thirty pictures ago!’
★’YOU LOOK SO CUTE SHUT UP AND POSE FOR US’
★having the two goofs trying to fit in your lap to cuddle
★they end up pouting
★and curling into your sides
★don’t get jealous when other people talk to you
★only when you do something with the other
★for example
★you and seunghyun were cuddling while jiyong was off doing whatever
★bitch jiyong fucking r a n
★he’d be back at the apartment
★eyeing the two of you
★’what’re you doing?’
★’i’m cuddling my boyfriend’
★’you have two boyfriends’
★’well if he other one didn’t run off at seven am i’d be cuddling my two boyfriends’ 
★he’d strip down and join you
★they go all out on dates
★suits
★fancy place
★’can’t we just go to a movie instead?’
★’YOU NEED THE BEST’
★the only time they won’t go all out on dates
★is when one of you is ill
★then it’s all in pyjamas
★with take out
★and lots of blankets
★you’re inspo for 70% of their songs
★they get really shy about it
★they go squish if you show interest in things that they like
★’tell me about this painting?’
★they’ll just asdhafldskl;
★and completely forget everything they know about art 
nsfw from here
★these two  
★oh boy 
★they’ll pound you until you’re unable to walk 
★or will spend hours making the slowest, most romantic love ever
★there’s no inbetween
★toys 
★lots of toys
★seeing you writhe on the bed
★limbs tied to the posts
★with a toy in you 
★turns them on so much
★they l o v e seeing you in lace
★often bring things home for you to wear
★don’t get attached though
★it’ll probably get ripped
★dirty talk holy shit
★’you sound so pretty when you fuck yourself against a toy’
★’i bet you wish it was us’
★double penetration
★both of them being inside of you at the same time is their fave
★’you’re taking up so well’
★’do you like it when we stretch you like this?’
★’i bet you feel so full’ 
★AFTERCARE KINGSSSSSSS
★’baby, you good?’
★’yeah’
★’jiyongs gone to get food’ 
★one of them helps you clean up and get dressed
★while the other prepares you food
★if you even try moving after
★you’re met with a lecture
★on how you should relax
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mxn-yoongi · 7 years
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BTS as Kingsman (Jungkook)
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-Umm so we already know this guy is good at everything
-So passing the tests to be a kingsman is like a piece of cake
-He could do it in his sleep
-Escape a room full of water? Done.
-Jump out of a plane with possibly no parachute? Done.
-Punch a guy in the throat? his fave activity.
-Like this kid is superhuman?????
-Codename: Lancelot
-The newest recruit and very eager to please the other kingsman
-Okay so since he became a kingsman he has never failed a mission and he prides himself on that
-Like whenever the guys are teasing each other he just kinda brings it up
-Actually he ALWAYS brings it up
-‘Hey lancelot remember that time you almost landed in the water when you were riding the motorcycle off the dock and onto the boat but you thought the boat was moving slower than it really was and wow that was funny’
-‘Hey gawain remember the time you successfully completed every mission assigned to you? Oh wait- that never happened.’
-‘Besides, i still got on the boat didnt i?’
-‘Yeah but you also lost a $50,000 motorcycle in the ocean’
-‘Maybe if SOMEONE *cough* tristan *cough* hadnt accidentally tipped off  a security guard we wouldn’t have been in that situation’
-‘THAT WASNT EVEN MY FAULT’
-‘SHUT UP YOU HAVE 5 FAILED MISSIONS’
-The floor wrestling ensues
-Lets get into it!!!!
-Jungkook never declines a mission so when arthur came up to him and was like’ i need you to take out this beloved celebrity because shes really a criminal mastermind’ hes kinda like ‘ yeah sure.’
-So his kingsman friends hook him up with an invitation to one of the most prestigious events of the year which is a ‘charity’ gala hosted by evil drug cartel leader criminal mastermind Lee Somin.
-He rolls up to the event  in style and steps out of the vehicle with his secretly badass umbrella in hand (weapon of choice: umbrella gun) and people are like taking pictures of him and they dont know why because nobody has ever seen this man but he looks handsome so he must be important.
-Hes like posing and stopping for pictures and as soon as hes clear of the crowd he just kinda reaches to his ear and pushes down on the little in-ear piece hes got in and ‘Galahad. Make sure those pictures are erased before the end of the night’
-‘Got it, lancelot’
-The glasses on his handsome face are working overtime as they scan everyones face and jungkook reads through their basic information just to see if he can rid the world of any scum. Two birds with one stone you know
-‘Alright lancelot. You should be able to see a picture of somin on the glasses. She’s going to have a lot of security around her so you might want to try to get her alone’
-Jungkook is a lil stunned because shes beautiful and she looks so flawless
-How can an innocent baby like her possibly be behind such evil
-How is jungkook going to get through this
-‘How am i even supposed to kill her?’
-‘The small case i handed you earlier contains a syringe with a fatal dose of phenytoin. It should do its job’
-‘Alright. Ill report back to you when its done.’
-The night goes on and jungkook has 0 luck even getting near somin like its frustrating for him to not be able to get in and out for a mission.
-Actually he hasnt even seen somin
-He! Needs! To! Succeed!
-So jungkook decides to take a lil break and he goes to the bathroom and splashes some cold water on his face and admires himself in the mirror because hes handsome and whatnot.
-Hes walking out but out of the corner of his eye he sees a woman running down the hal and she sounds distressed? ? ? She also looks a little bit like Somin??? Should he go or
-…
-Okay so he follows her down the hall and she turns a few corners and theres a set of stairs that she  climbs and then a long empty hallway except for one room at the end of the call and that is her destination
-She seemed to know her way around so maybe she is his target
-Jungkook walks into this room quietly and shuts the door behind him making sure to lock it and he finds this girl sitting on the bed in an extremely extravagant dress and beautiful locks of hair cascading down her back but shes hyperventilating and maybe even crying
-Jungkook retreives the syringe from its case and sneaks over to the bed. He just puts her in a loose headlock
-SHE NOT EXPECTING THAT !!!!!
-Hes got the syringe to her neck and this girl just starts struggling because WHAT IS GOING ON HERE
-She’s holding onto the arm he has around her neck in order to get him to loosen his grip and when it doesnt work she thrashes a little because let her go dude
-‘Pl-please dont kill me…’ jungkooks heart breaks because she sounds so broken but he snaps out of it because of course she would play innocent she doesnt want to die
-‘Nice try. I know who you are. Lee Somin. I must say I’m a little surprised that such evil could be so active in someone that looks so angelic’
-‘I’m not. Please. I’m not Lee Somin. I swear! I’m her doppleganger. A body double whatever you want to call me but please dont kill me.’
-The desparation in this girls voice has jungkook easing up on the force hes using but hes not exactly convinced.
-‘Theres no way you can prove that so i just have to assume youre lying to me so that you can live’
-When jungkook begins pressing the needle into this girls neck hes hesitant but he has no choice
-‘NO NO NO. I’m L/N F/N. PLEASE BELIEVE ME. I can! I can prove it!’ Youre scratching at his arm in hopes he’ll let you go. This guy is literally holding your life in his hands right now
-‘Somin. She needed me to do this because of all the people trying to kill her. I’m expendable to her. She probably has the next look alike lined up already. I can prove im not Somin.’
-Jungkook was ready to inject the phenytoin but a nagging feeling in the back of his head stops him and he decides to give you a chance!!!
-‘Okay. Prove it.’
-‘Somin. She has a tattoo. It’s on her hip. On the left side. They’re flowers I don’t have one. I’m not Somin.’ jungkook is startled when you stop trying to pry his arm off your neck and instead begin bunching up your dress on the left side.
-The right side of the dress was fairly open with a slit going dangerously high up your leg. Somin made sure you were dressed in a way where nobody could see that you weren’t her and the lack of tattoo would be a dead giveaway.
-Its only now that jungkook is noticing how revealing this dress it. The black dress is mostly lace with small patches of black fabric under the lace in areas that should be covered
-Theres an extremely deep v neckline in the front and the dangerously high slit up the right side and the dress was also backless???
-How is this even staying on your body
-Stop staring jungkook stop staring
-Jungkook vaguely remembers seeing the tattoo in a picture in one of the drug cartel files.
-You could still be lying. Theyve got some decent makeup capable of covering tattoos nowadays
-Thats how he finds himself trailing his hand from the side of your body down to the side of your thigh.
-YOURE BOTH RED IN THE FACE
--Jungkook embarassed because he just put his hands on this beautiful woman without thinking about it half becuase he wanted to make sure she wasnt lying to him and half because her body was so beautiful and tempting
-Youre blushing because his large hand feels so warm on your body and the sudden contact you werent expecting in such an intimate(?) area might have elicited the smallest of moans from you and oh god you hope he didnt hear.
-‘Could you please get the needle out of my neck…’
-Jungkook jumps a bit but quickly does as asked and begins apologizing profusely as he lets you go
-‘Im so sorry. I didnt know I swear. Do you know where Somin is?’
-You nod your head but the tears that begin forming in your eyes let him know how scared you are right now
-‘Please dont make me do this. I just want to get out of here. I’ll tell you anything you want just please get me away from all of this’
-Was this it. Was jungkook going to fail his first mission ever to spare you from any more of the horrors youve faced here or was he going to be selfish and make you give Somin up right now essentially making you a target and putting your life in more danger
-Jungkook is kind of conflicted right now but as not only a kingsman but also a gentleman he knows he cant do that to you so he decides itd be best to get you out of here now and worry about Somin later.
-‘Okay. I’ll get you out of he-’ jungkook is interrupted by loud banging on the door.
-‘Y/N! Are you in here? You’re supposed to be out there doing your damn job. You know the rules and if you dont follow them I have permission to kill you remember?’
-The look of fear on your face makes jungkook a lil mad
-Okay a lot mad
-You constantly feared for your life and the reason for that was standing right outside that door?
-Jungkook is interrupted by gunshots being fired through the door and you like literally scream in terror oh my gosh he must save you.
-He literally envelops your body with his own to make sure you dont get hurt.
-HIS CHEST IS FLUSH AGAINST YOUR BACK FUCK hes!!!! So!!!! Muscular!!!!!
-The guy outside the door is not having any of this so down goes the door and jungkook springs into action.
-Like this guy has no time to even process what just happened because before he can even aim his gun jungkook already has his umbrealla gun out and pointed at this guys chest.
-Youve got your ears covered but obviously since youre in close proximity you can still hear the gunshot and feel the blood splatter and oh my gosh who is this guy
-‘Come on weve got to get out of here before more people show up.’
-‘Wait. I dont even know youre name’
-He thinks for a second about whether he wants to give you his real name or not
-‘I’m jungkook and we have to go so we’ll save the proper introductions for later’
-Jungkook holds his hand out for you and even if youre a little scared of him you grab onto it and follwo his lead because hes your best chance at survival right now
-‘Galahad. I need an exit route. NOW’
-‘I’ve had one ready for you since you exited the car. If you walk back down the hall and take a right and then a left you can get to a room with a balcony. The balcony is right above the swimming pool. It’s deep so don’t worry about hitting the bottom. From there you can exit out the back gate. I can disable the security system and have someone there for you in 1 minute.’
-‘You’re a life saver’
-You have no idea whats going on because this guy is talking to himself and now he suddenly seems to know where hes going and youre having a hard time keeping up because youre not used to so much physical activity but you want to live lol
-When you reach an unfamiliar room and he begins leading you to the balcony you stop dead in your tracks when you realize what he wants to do
-‘No wait I can’t swim. I can’t do this. Its too high I..’
-‘Y/N. We have to go we dont have much time!’
-‘No I can’t. You go. I won’t tell Somin about you and you can just escape by yourself.’
-‘That’s not happening’
-Jungkook pulls you to the balcony and no matter how hard you try to pull away from him its no use. He picks you up off the ground effortlessly which catches you off guard but it is what it is
-‘Wrap your legs around my waist and your arms around my neck and don’t let go. Take a deep breath.’
-‘Oh god oh god  I can’t’ Two men barge through the same door the two of you came in from and the rest is a big blur to you.
-You hear jungkook count down from 3 and then youre falling and suddenly theres water all around you. Its cold and you panic a little and and begin screaming underwater only to be left with a lack of oxygen.
-Now youre really panicking because you dont know how to swim and your hands are flailing but what youre really doing is tiring yourself out which could lead to dro-.. Oh wait now youre above water
-Jungkook has managed to get both of you to the edge of the pool and he gently lifts you out as you cough up some water.
-He lifts himself out and barely gives you any time to recover before hes dragging you out a gate and towards the same vehicle that brought him here.
-Just as the two of you get into the car many gunshots are fired but none of them hit the car as it drives off
-You look over at a soaking wet jungkook and he looks even more handsome than he did earlier if thats even possible. He wasnt super handsome when he had a needle in your neck and he was trying to kill you but   those are just minor things you know.
-Jungkook looks over at you too and suddenly youre embracing him tightly with your face in the crook of his neck
-‘Thank you so much. I owe you my life.’
-He clears his throat and wraps an arm around your body as well
-‘Maybe not your life. I’ll settle for...dinner?’
-LIKE 3 weeks later Jungkook is sitting in hq with the other guys and here they go again teasing each other
-‘Hey Lancelot remember when you failed that mission and ruined your perfect record?’
-‘Hey Gawain remember when you saved a smoking hot girl from a terrible life and made her your girlfriend? OH WAIT. THAT WAS ME’
-And again the floor wrestling begins.
A/N: This is one of my favorites. Yoongi is still #1 though because that’s my man. 
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sleeplesssecrets · 6 years
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time goes slower for me when im sad i guess. if im in a good mood and rushing through having a good time, talking and laughing, i dont even think about the time. if i sit still for too long i become so aware of the time i begin to wonder how anyone could ever want to sit for more than a few minutes even to reflect. but if im just a little lost in my head, i can lay down in bed and stare at literally nothing and think about everything and feel several things at once and only a few minutes will go by. i wonder how long i could realistically sit there for. a lot of people say time goes faster as you get older but also say time flies when youre having fun. this is another reason i hate cliches. no one knows what the fuck they’re talking about. im a lil burnt out on some stuff atm. i hate that i hate having a routine. because its not the routine that i hate, its the stuff i fall into in my routine i hate. i wake up late and eat junk food and sit at my desk for hours and dont even make art. all the stuff i do with brynn doesnt count. shes amazing and creative and over flowing with beautiful little human things i enjoy sharing with her. anyways, then tanner comes home and we eat dinner and i feel guilt from eating then i lay in bed thinking about everything, hating my body, craving attention and wanting to make things i dont have the motivation to make. i daydream hard when i dont want to think about things and ive been thinking about girls a lot. i hopelessly look at girls on instagram that i used to hate in middle school, imagining how i would fit against her if i ever had the chance. i had a dream (a dream not a day dream lol) that a pretty but boyish girl swept me off my feet and moved me into her apartment. i didnt have a fiance or child in this dream which felt weird when i woke up and thought about it. ive been constructing a girl in my head that i would like to meet one day, her name is princess winsome and she has a bright smile and takes care of me. she asks me if im ok and tells me exactly how things are. idk if ive said this before but some months are girl months and other months are guy months for me. im having a girl month, where i just want to appreciate and be around the joy of women. and guy months are a different emotion where i just want to share myself with the comfort of guys. not in sexual ways, girl months or guy months, just in a fulfilling sense. ive been dying to do photos, boudoir in nature, for my friend cos i miss just being next to her. hanging out with her in any manner is eventually tiring but i have a different type of patience when im taking photos. i imagine she’ll kind of stumble around posing and understanding lighting while i take pictures, and ill have to guide her and comfort her. ok im fucking losing it. i need to do her photos. its been so long since ive picked up my camera with a sense of purpose. its been too long since ive thought about lights and props and body parts and shapes and lines and colors. i also want to do my sister in laws photos. also boudoir in nature haha. its my favorite kind of shoot these days and it all started when a friend from high school had me do her photos once. i had so much fun having that privilege and her trust. that first shoot taught me so much. and not just technical stuff. i have an intimate set of knowledge about someone that is sexy in nature but friendly in practice. its such a unique little bond i have with her that ill take with me for the rest of my life. i sincerely hope that anyone who has nudes of them taken by other people share that with their photographers or person who took their photos. i hope people dont get into boudoir just for the nudity. it’s so much more. its about pose and posture and innocence and lack there of and the kind of things you think that statue the thinker is thinking about. it’s about desire and pleasure and warmth and trust. its not a show or a script or defined by the viewer. it’s a tale whispered by the subject, and im lucky enough to be within hearing range. when i get really sad, i want to take photos. i think about the kinds of photos i want or the people i want to shoot and i get sadder that im not motivated enough to do it. blah blah blah i feel like talking about something else. i mentioned my sister in law earlier and i want to talk about her lol. last year on this very blog i complained about her most terrible boyfriend at the time. and this year she has a new boyfriend that shes been dating for a few months and now they live together and its all super cute and happy. but i still am just a little skeptical and i hate being skeptical but i am about this. idk if ive said this here but ill say it again just in case, it would take a very special person to be a good enough person for skyler. she personally gets under my skin and i couldnt ever picture a perfect person for her. i dont feel like that person exists. so my complaint isnt necessarily the dude, its the fact i dont know if theres anyone out there that would actually be good for her. anyways, the guy is super nice and above average good looking. hes big and hes funny. he gets along with everyone and meets people where they’re at and doesn’t argue about dumb shit and sits quietly minding his business most of the time. i think the only thing i dont like about his personality is that when hes talking, he fills the room with his voice and has everyones attention and his presence just penetrates any personal moment you might be having otherwise. but im just so lost as to why he likes skyler. she is so impressed by him and loves the things he does and the way he is and whatever other gooey shit. but idk what hes getting in return. im just... putting their relationship on a different set of expectations and patiently waiting for the day they dont work out. everyone will be so confused and wonder what it was but ill know that it wasnt gonna happen. idk why tho. when i feel like i have a feeling about something i usually dont talk about it becuase i would hate to be wrong, but i needed to say something about that because im excited to be right and would love to have proof that i called it haha. anyways i have to pee and i have so many things i wanna talk about but dont feel like it atm.
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