#lock em in a room together for weeks at a time! forced domesticity! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wormlino · 2 years

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right on target

chanlix | >1k words | fluff, uni au, roomates, just chanlix, snow storm, twister, first kiss, domestic, chan producer, felix housewife/j

It was a week into the new year and their break was on it’s way out, until “The hardest blizzard in eighty years” as the news channels called it hit with barely two days for residents to prepare in advance. And as the first morning rolled in, it was indeed a spectacular blizzard.

University students Chan and Felix were stuck with each other, trapped in their small apartment as the world grew quiet under the snow around them. A day had now passed since it first began to fall, and there was no sign of stopping. The two had spent the day mostly keeping to themselves, Chan burying himself in composition commissions and Felix puttering around doing chores, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. The clock had long since struck ten thirty when Chan finally emerged from his room, startling Felix who was stacking cards. His (although not very impressive) paper structure came tumbling down as his knee hit the coffee table, a string of curses leaving his mouth as Chan closed the door behind him with a chuckle.

“Sorry,” He said sheepishly, peering over his roommate’s shoulder as the smaller boy began shuffling the deck together again.

“Fuck, Chris. You scared the shit out of me.”

“So-orry,” He sing-sang, patting Felix’s head. “Where’d you get those? I didn’t know we had cards.” Felix tried to ignore the jump in his chest when Chan said “we”.

“Found ‘em in that box over there, it was under the bookshelf. I haven’t seen it before.” He said, pointing to the said box at the other end of the coffee table. Chan followed his gaze, and went over to investigate.

“Woah! We have Twister?” He exclaimed, holding the folded up tarp and looking over his shoulder at Felix. “We have to play! I don’t think I have since like the 8th grade, or something.” Felix just smiled, setting the deck of cards down and nodding.

He helped Chan push the coffee table flush against the couch before they spread the tarp out over the floor, the edges pushing up against the legs of the table and the opposite wall. The square footage of their two-bed apartment wasn’t anything to shake a stick at.

“Okay, you first. Since you’re so excited.” Felix teased, handing Chan the spinner who just nodded happily and flicked it, not minding the joking tone in Felix’s voice.

“Left hand, blue!” And so their game started, continuing for a long time. Both men were highly competitive, and held their stances well, until eventually the cramped space paired with a few two many unlucky spins of the wheel landed them locked around each other.

Chan had two feet at diagonal ends of the tarp, a hand shooting under Felix’s head and pressing up against his neck, the other at his left shoulder.

Felix had somehow ended up on his back underneath Chan, his legs crossed over each other and one arm above his head holding himself up like a crab. The other, moments before had shot up to clutch around Chan’s waist in a desperate attempt to catch balance.

The force lurched Chan down, his nose crashing with Felix’s erupting groans from both men, wincing in sync. Chan opened his eyes in a few seconds, whole body freezing up as he processed their situation. He could feel his breath fan out and reflect back at him off Felix’s face, who was so close he went cross-eyed as he opened his eyes to meet Chan’s gaze above him. They were still and silent, two deer caught in each other’s headlights.

Chan felt his body flush with embarrassment. At the same time, he felt his foot slip from the plastic tarp behind him, sending him to fall again on Felix. This time, hitting just under the other boy’s eye. He jerked up, apologies spilling from his lips before Felix grinned up at him.

“I think you missed.”

“-Orry -wait what?” He paused mid-sentence as Felix’s smile only grew, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

“I’ll show you how to make a shot right on target.” Chan felt dizzy all of a sudden, Felix reaching a hand up to rest on the back of his neck before raising his own to place his lips right in front of Chan’s, their breaths damp against each other. “I’m going to kiss you now, Chris.” He whispered, eyes half closed and focused intently on the other man’s lips.

“O-Okay.” He stuttered.

With that, Felix pulled Chan down the rest of the way, kissing him firmly on the mouth. A second passes for Chan to register before he returns the kiss, bringing one of his own hands up to cup at Felix’s jaw; smiling slightly as the other boy deepens the kiss with a close hold around his waist.

Around them the world glows peach, white snow reflecting streetlights and the moon alike, no wind present to stir up the peace; just steady, gentle snow piling up around warm buildings and the people inside them.

#skz #skz fanfic #chanlix #bang chan #lee felix #fanfic #stray kids

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supernaturalgirl20 · 3 years

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Hidden Desire

Pairings: Din Djarin x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, domestic violence, angst, family feuds, mutual pining, jealousy.

Summary: Forced into a marriage you did not want, your sentenced to a life of loneliness. What happens when you meet your husband’s handsome brother?

A/N: so this is another AU and is loosely based of the true story of Belvedere house(Ireland). I went for a walk along it’s grounds and got inspired. Also no helmets in this.

You’d been married to Paz for a year now and to say it was the worst year of your life was an understatement. You hadn’t wanted this marriage, but Paz was an Earl and your father had made an arrangement with his family. He was from an important mandalorian house and they we’re wealthy. Upon your marriage he’d brought you to his stately home. You were blown away by its beauty. It sat on acres of land, had I a huge forest and had its own lake. This was where the beauty stopped. Paz was cordially first and you had thought that perhaps if given time you both could learn to love one another, but that was not the case. Weeks into your marriage he became adamant that you produce an heir. Family he had told you,was sacred to the mandalorian culture. Weeks then months past and you were not with child. He became furious and began blaming you, and with each month passing when another period came he began to hit you and it only got worse. Your whole body was covered in bruises, you had prayed to whatever god was out there that you became pregnant to end his violence. But it never happened. A year on and Paz has now given up on you and has taken to visiting his other estates more frequently leaving you alone with just the maids. It was during on of these trips away that you had met HIM!

***

He has come to visit Paz, having been away bounty hunting. You were shocked he decided to stay when he was informed Paz was not there. Each night he would have dinner with you and after you would both walk along the forest path, discussing literature, politics, art, anything that came to mind. He told you his name was Din Djarin and that Paz’s parents had adopted him when he was very young. A debt he could never repay. It was on these night you had developed feelings for him. It began with stealing glance at one another to the soft brush of hands when you we’re near. Things had shifted dramatically one evening when you both stood at the edge of the lake, the moon shining bright. You stood staring up at the sky and you were illuminated but the light of the moon looking ethereal. He couldn’t take it anymore he had to have you. Walking up to you he put his hands around your waist turning you to face him. “What are doing Din?”. His eyes lingered on your lips and before you could say anything else he crashed his to yours. He kissed you like a man dying of thirst, and you his only source of water. He pulled back a little and rested his head against yours. “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend I don’t love you when your all I can think about.” Your stunned by his admission but the joy it brings to your heart out ways all else. “I love you too Din. I wish it was you I had been married off to.” Upon hearing that Din walked you backwards towards the big oak tree. When your back hits it,he lifts up the skirt of your dress and runs his thin along your folds. “So wet for me already Mesh’la.” “Yes always wet for you Din”. He kisses you again unbuttoning his trousers in the process and lifts one of your legs around his waist. He lines himself at your wet core “are you sure you want this, want me Mesh’la?” “Yes yes…please Din I want you to fuck me.” With that he thrusts up into you and you let out a loud moan. He is huge, and the stretch of him hurts just a little, but you feel every ridge of his cock pumping into you and you love it. “I knew…thrust…that this…thrust…pussy…thrust..would be…tight. You take me so well. This…thrust…pussy..thrust…was made for me.” With that you feel the pleasure coursing through you and you can’t hold back anymore you scream his name into the night. “Oh god yes…Din…yes.” Your cunt clenches around him and it sends him over the edge. “Where, where do you want me?” “Inside, come inside.” With that his seed coats your womb. He rests his head on your shoulder. When he looks up he cups your face in his hands. “I do love you”. “And I you.”

***

From that night you spent most of your time in bed where he had you on every surface of the room. You both did not try to hide your growing relationship from the maids, who would they tell, Paz was never home. You began imagining a life with Din, away from this place, where you spend the rest of your days together. You had explained to him that you could probably not have children given Paz’s fruitless efforts, but this did not stop him from wanting to fill you up every time hoping it would take root. On this particular day you had been in the gardens playing with some of your nieces when he spotted you dancing with the youngest. He imagined you doing that with your child, his child, and he felt his cock grow hard at the thought. That night after dinner he was extra touchy and you had no sooner entered the bedroom when he pinned you to the bed. He wastes no time tonight, quickly stripping you both of your clothes. “On you knees Mesh’la.” You did what he asked and before you could think he was deep inside you. His thrusts were relentless as he pounded into you from behind. He grabbed your hair as to pull you towards him. He grabbed your breast roughly, kneading it. “You look so pretty like this, all cock dumb for me. Tell me who you belong too?” “You…only you.” “That’s right your mine. And I’m going to fuck my seed into you until it takes.” “Oh god yes…fuck Din, please give me a baby.” With one last thrust his seed spurts into your cunt. He pulls out slowly and you groan at the loss. You both collapse onto the bed and he pulls you into him. He runs his hand up and down your spine. You feel..happy. Your suddenly brought out of your daze when the door to the room bursts open. “What the fuck are you doing with my wife?”. Din gets out of bed, puts on his clothes and tries to calm his brother. “Paz please, brother, you do not love her, you fuck any whore you can, but I love her. You can both divorce and that’s the end of it.” “How dare you come into my home, fuck my wife and think I will let you get away with this, and you.” He turns toward you now, furious “you are nothing but a cheap whore, fucking the first man that comes into my home, you couldn’t even do your wifely duty and give me a child.” He is beyond angry now and he makes to pull you from the bed not caring that you are naked. He grabs you by the hair and pulls you along the halls. Din is trying to get you free but his brother is strong normally, but even more so when he is angry. “Paz stop, your hurting her, let her go.” “ oh no she’s going no where ever again.” Din is nervous now what did he mean by that. He tries to grab you again but to no avail. Paz brings you up to the attic. He throws you in and locks the door. “Now she can spend the rest of her days locked away. If I can’t have her no one can.” “ you can’t do this, I won’t let you.” “Oh and what are you going to do huh, last I checked I was the head of this household, what I say goes.” Din could feel the anger in his veins but he left, leaving you, the love of his life locked away like some criminal. He would not let this happen to you he needed help.

***

Weeks passed and you lost hope of ever seeing Din again. You had been given clothes and scrapes of food. Your were being held captive in your own home. You began to feel sick and after the sixth day you mentioned it to one of the maids. Paz allowed a doctor to visit you. It turns out you are 8 weeks pregnant. Your shocked, having believed your were barren. A maid comes in and tells you she can get word to Din and so agree. If Paz finds out about this he will kill you. Din is planning an attack on his brothers home to free you when the maid comes to find him. “Mr. Djarin, em excuse me sir, but I have news of Ms. Y/N.” “Y/N, is she ok has he hurt her?” “No he is not currently home sir, she has been ill of late and Paz allowed us to call for a doctor.” He walks up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders almost shaking her “what is it girl, spit it out.” “She is pregnant sir, 8 weeks I believe.” “Pregnant!” He is speechless sinking into a nearby chair. Cara stands and comes over to him.We have to move now Din, if Paz finds out his wife, who could not bare him a child,is now pregnant from his brother, she is dead.” With that Din stands “ok we go tonight.” You are asleep when you hear keys rattling at your door, suddenly Paz bursts in and storms towards you. “Your fucking pregnant?” He is fuming and grabs you by the hair. He grabs a knife and places it along your throat “ I should have done this in the beginning”. “Don’t you ducking touch a hair on her head.” Paz turns around quickly to see Din standing in the door way blaster pointed at him. “Come to rescue your little whore have you, sis you know she is carrying your child, of course you would get her pregnant, you were always better at everything.” “Put the knife down Paz, you don’t have to do this.” “Oh but I do, you see my reputation is at stake.” “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that, now.” Paz turns to see who Din is talking to buts it’s too late Cara shoots him in the head with her blaster. You fall to the floor trembling and Din moves towards you. “Your ok now Mesh’la, I’ve got you, I’ve got you both.”

Tagging:

@asta-lily, @lunaserenade, @librariantothejedi , @maievdenoir , @seasonschange-butpeopledont , @elinedjarin , @day-off-inkyoto, @danniburgh @absurdthirst

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #din djarin x female reader #din djarin smut #din djarin x reader #mandalorion x reader

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meanwhileinoz · 7 years

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911 Operators Share Ridiculously Stupid Calls Ever Received That Are Too Funny To Read

911 is a guarantee of safety

You have an emergency, you call 911 and a police officer will be there soon. It means that the moment you hit those three digits on your phone and call, you will be safe. To avoid people thinking that they can handle it themselves, we often tell ourselves that 911 can handle any emergency.

It would seem that we did it too well. A lot of people call the emergency help line for very peculiar and almost dumb reasons. Some are even heartwarming. But either way, just kick back, relax, and read these amazing conversations.

Not an operator, but my boyfriend who called in. He usually worked a late shift, walking home about 2 am. This shift he got off work a few hours late… BF: I’d like to call and report a fire. [We live in a fire prone area and it was the season.] 911: Where is it located sir? BF: On the hillside just East of [City]. 911: Can you be more specific? [Typing away in the background.] BF: Yes, [gives a more detailed location]. Oh god, it’s getting bigger! The whole top of the hill is on fire now! 911: Stay calm sir, we’re sending somebody out. BF: It’s getting bigger! Doesn’t anybody else see this?! It’s lighting up the sky around it…it’s huge! Oh god! Oh…oh, wait… 911: Sir? BF: I am SO sorry…I’m not usually out this time of night, I just got off work late…that’s, that’s the sun… 911: … BF: I am so, so sorry for wasting your time, there is no fire, that’s just the sun rising. Never mind. I’m really embarrassed… 911: That’s fine, Sir. I will cancel the call, thank you for calling.

LunarBerries

Had another woman call saying her cat was stuck in a tree. I just knew she wanted the fire department to come save the cat, so I got my “that’s only in movies/TV” speech ready. Then she said “…so my husband climbed up to get the cat and now he’s stuck too.”

arjayim

A quite pregnant (don’t remember exactly how far along, but definitely past 30 weeks) woman calls to say that her doctor told her to refrain from having sex for the rest of the pregnancy and she didn’t understand why. I looked at her file, and saw she was having pre-term contractions, so I explained that sexual activity can cause contractions, so it was safer to abstain so the baby could stay inside as long as possible. She tearfully exclaims, “But how will I feed the baby?!?” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, could you repeat that?” Patient: “How will I feed the baby if I can’t have sex?!?” The patient was convinced that her baby was living off of her boyfriend’s semen, and that it would starve if they stopped having sex. I explained about the umbilical cord, etc. but she refused to believe me until I asked her about single moms, lesbian moms, etc. and asked how she though their babies fed and grew. After a moment of silence, she thanked me, and started to hang up the phone, but not before I heard her screaming her boyfriends name. That man had a good thing going for a while there. I honestly wasn’t sure if I felt more sorry for him, or a baby growing up in that household.

nursejacqueline

Just after I got cut loose from training, I received a priority one (meaning immediate response) animal ordinance call. Usually, this call is reserved for animals in traffic or vicious animals, where there is the potential for immediate threat to life. The reporting party was a parent attending a school function. Caller advised there was a raccoon loose in the school. I dispatched two officers to the call and they made it on scene. The officer then broadcasts the “suspect” description via radio. “Suspect is small, fast, and wearing a bandit mask. May have robbed a couple of trash cans. We lost him in a foot pursuit.”

infinibelle

One woman called because she thought her house was being shot at. Turns out she forgot about her eggs boiling on the stove and they exploded. I wanted to give her a hug though, she was just a little old lady.

mayaseye

A woman dialled 999 to say there were men in her house trying to take her away. The men in question were police officers who had come to arrest her

MrBarwell

One guy called FRANTICALLY saying that he saw the dead body of a young woman, early 20s, wearing nothing but shorts. He gave a detailed description, hair color, skin color, body position, the whole bit and said she was by the side of the interstate (in the middle of an affluent suburban area at rush hour) so we figured this had to be a really fresh crime scene. We started scrambling together officers to get there ASAP, a big hassle considering it’s rush hour and they’re all dealing with accidents and stuff like that. On top of that, we can’t say what the issue is on the radio is because we have too many busibodies who monitor police radio, then call us to try to get juicy details, or othewise meddle. So we have to get these officers to their cars to read the computer, leaving other issues, etc. And these are suburban cops in the Midwest, a murder is a damn big deal. The guy calls back a few minutes later. “Uh, I checked again, it’s a dead deer.” Peeved, I announce on the radio that the trip is cancelled, “it was a deer”. An officer sarcastically calls back: “With shorts on?”

fludru

The best story I have is a guy who called about a bobcat in front of the library. He called up out of breath and said there was a wild cat intimidating people so they could not enter or exit the building. I was fairly close so I started to run over. I asked if anyone was injured and he said no. I was expecting a group of people held up at the entrance by a huge cat hissing at everyone. I told him to keep away from it and stay on the line. When I got there I found a tabby cat perched on a bench. I verified the caller and the cat he called about. I went over to the cat with him and started pet him, he rolled over and let me scratch his belly. The guy was shocked and said “oh, someone has domesticated it.”

miraclerandy

“911, what is the address of the emergency?” “I need an ambulance” “What’s going on?” “I just, I need an ambulance” “Can you tell me why?” “My dick is stuck in the wall OKAY?!” “Please stay on the line for Fire/Rescue”

AweBeyCon

Me: 911, where do you need assistance? Drunk guy: At the convenient store. This guy won’t sell me beer. Me: Ok, why not? Drunk guy: I can’t show him my ID because I am not 21. Me: Without an ID the clerk can not sell to you, especially if you are under age. Drunk Guy: But other clerks let me bribe them before. I told him that and he still won’t take my bribe and sell to me. Make him take the bribe! Me: We won’t force the clerk to accept your bribe. And definitely won’t let him sell to a minor. Do you want to wait there and I can have an officer come talk to you in person? Drunk Guy: Yea, I will sit outside and wait for you.

Venethos

Not a 911 operator, but I do work for a kids helpline. I recently got a call from a panicked 11-year-old boy who thought he had locked himself in a wardrobe while home alone. I was on the phone with him for a while before I suggested sliding the door instead of pushing it out like you would when entering or exiting a room. I heard a few sniffles on the other end of the line and then a quiet “Oh yeah, I forgot the door went like that.”

labyrinthiner

Paramedic here, Once we had a young woman call 911 around 2am saying that her legs were turning blue. Turns out she had worn a new pair of jeans to the club that night.

Buzkill

One of my personal favorites was someone who called and it went like this: “I know this is not an emergency, but there is a person in a giant monkey suit running down the road humping all the fire hydrants” I had to hold back my laughing as best I could – turns out he was right, when I sent the police there there was a kid in a monkey costume humping every hydrant he came across.

Beer_

I’m not a dispatcher, but back in my EMS days I was dispatched on a call of a child being poisoned. Upon our arrival we find a 14 year old male and his mother. The mother was insisting we take them to the hospital so he could have his stomach pumped because he had swallowed chewing gum. The child was looking at us as if to say, “I’m sorry my mother is crazy.” One year later, same address, same family, called for poisoning. Upon arrival we find the same kid and mother. The mother wanted to be taken to the hospital because the kid had admitted to his mother that he had taken a hit of marijuana when he was visiting friends the week before. The kid had the same look on his face.

EdwardStarsmith

Guy who called to swear out a complaint against his roommate because the guy stole his heroin. Yes, they both got a ride.

legotech

Long story short. Helped a little girl do her math homework.

Foreversingleandsad

My uncle was a dispatcher in a suburb of Minneapolis/St.Paul, and would tell me stories whenever I saw him. My favorite goes like this: Uncle: 911, what’s your emergency? Caller: Yes, I’d like to report two suspicious vehicles passing something back and forth in Potawatomi park. Uncle: Ok, we’ll send an officer out to assess. Uncle: Dispatch to car 45, two suspicious vehicles in Potawatomi park, passing items back and forth. Car 45: Uhhh…car 45 to dispatch, that’s me and Officer Somethingerother, passing Cheetos… Uncle: 10-4

Igoe_yougo

One woman called saying that every time she went outside the frogs said mmm pussy.

mayaseye

One time, some guy called 911 because he had multiple women in his bed that he didn’t know and who refused to leave.

HeyDep

“911, what’s your emergency?” “THERE IS A GODDAMN ROCK ON MY LAWN. A ROCK.” “Um… A rock?” “DID YOU NOT F*CKING HEAR ME? THERE IS A ROCK ON MY LAWN. SOMEONE DID THIS ON PURPOSE. A GODDAMN ROCK IN MY LAWN. I HAD TO DRIVE AROUND IT ON MY LAWNMOWER. A GODDAMN ROCK.” “What’s your address?” “You’re f*cking 911 and you don’t know my goddamn address? What the f*ck are my taxes paying you for? F*cking useless. Goddamn rock.” “Sir, what is your address?” “LOOK AT ME ON GOOGLE EARTH YOU CAN SEE ME BECAUSE THERES A GODDAMN ROCK IN MY LAWN!” At this point, the map finally correlated with his location and he was in the next county. I let them deal with it. I don’t know how it turned out.

reineluxe

I’ve had someone call 911 to wish me a merry xmas when I was working at 3am on on Christmas Morning.

Stepside79

A friend who used to be a police operator once told me she had a hysterical call from a Chinese lady, who was unintelligible but clearly distressed. They sent an officer round, apparently she’d found a hedgehog in her garden and had no f*cking clue what it was – assumed it was an alien or something and freaked out.

blinky84

Me: “911. What is the address of your emergency?” Caller: “Turtles…in Georgia” M: “Yes, ma’am. Turtles are an indigenous species to the state of Georgia.” C: “Really?” M: “Yes, ma’am.” C: “Huh. Well what do you do when there is one in your yard?” M: “Leave it alone.” C: “It’s driving my dogs crazy!” M: “Is the turtle endangering your dogs?” C: “No.” M: “Are the dogs endangering the turtle?” C: “No. They’re on the other side of the fence.” M: “Well then just leave the turtle alone and he’ll go along on his merry turtle way.” C: “Ok. I guess so.”

IcebergSlimD

Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house. Me: Okay? Caller: Well I am worried it might be cold. Me:…….Well there is nothing we can do about a deer being cold. Didn’t it run off after swinning the river? Caller: Yes. Me: Well ma’am it’s a wild animal and I’d guess it’s going to be fine. Caller: ok

NodePoker

“I want to report an attempt murder. I asked them not to put mushrooms on my pizza, as I’m allergic and they forgot, so it’s attempted murder”

EccentricCock

Someone called 911 about a “machine gun mounted on a car”. It was the Google maps car…

CoonCreek

6:30 Christmas morning. 9-1-1 goes off. “9-1-1. what’s your emergency?” Breathless, panicky voice “How do I get the cranberry sauce out of the can without it coming out in chunks?” “Open the other end and slide it out on a plate.” “OH! THANK YOU! You are brilliant!” I wasn’t considered so brilliant once I had to dispatch an officer over there to educate her on proper 9-1-1 usage. Merry Christmas, here’s your citation. source: 4 years as 9-1-1 dispatcher/supervisor in rural Alaska

malloryparker

Got a call from a man that someone vandalized his snowman.

jwagg82

My mom is a 911 operator, she gets some insanely stupid calls. I remember a few years ago, there was a huge pileup involving several cars and fatalities. Clearly it caused miles of traffic. A woman called 911, insisting that she get escorted out of the traffic by a trooper, because she “had to get home”, and it was “ridiculous that she should be stuck like that”. Like, people are dead, lady, sorry you’re not gonna make it home for Jeopardy.

ddeevv

Also had one a couple of years ago where a dad called to ask for an ambulance because his 17 yr old daughter had a candle stuck up her anus. He tried to explain that she said she had gotten out of the shower and slipped and fell “butthole first” onto the candle… Medics said they found KY jelly with the candle so I think we all know what was going on there.

flipit2mute

Entitled rich brat demanding an officer drive her back home because she spent her travel money partying; she felt since her father was a well-known surgeon, and a “higher taxpayer” she should get a break and get a ride. I told her no and hung up on her.

milkcustard

Guy calling to argue that his crystal meth is legal because he made it with store-brought products with his own hard-earned money.

milkcustard

Caller: My boyfriend took my dog! Me: And why’d he do that? Caller: Because he’s an asshole! Me: No, I mean what possessed him to take the animal? Caller: Cause he’s a f*cker! Me: …… Why does he have the dog… Caller: Cause he’s a piece of shit! Me: ……… Alright, I’ll send an officer out to talk to you.

Rodge_Von_Dicksonbut

Had a guy call asking if it was legal to shoot his neighbor because his hedges were hanging over his property and he considered it tresspassing.

I had someone a few months ago call 911 to ask if a tablespoon was the big spoon or the little one.

Dues1987

Got a call from a guy wanting the police to come to his address because the guy he sold a bag of weed to wouldn’t pay him Gave me his name, address and date of birth and the name, address and phone number of the other guy as well. Both got a visit from unit soon afterwards.

Cameron McManus

I have been in the 911 biz for over 22 years. If a caller starts the call with “I swear I’m not crazy” then you need to buckle up for some insanity. A guy started a call with those words after escaping from his apartment and running to the closest 7-11. He swore that his roommates were turning into giant crabs. The was going to show the officers that they were currently in giant cocoons transforming. As you might expect he was tripping balls.

erczilla

Had a drunk person call to report he was being harassed. Truth was….. He was being arrested by our officers for throwing pizza at people. All I heard in the background was one of my officers saying to him “that better not be our dispatcher on the phone” followed by some muffled talking and my officer taking the phone and saying “he will be taking a ride with us now” and hung up.

tkokilroy

Me: 911, Whats your emergency? Lady: My smoke detector is going off, and I think there is a HAZMAT GOING ON! Me: Is there fire or smoke in your home? Lady: No Me: Is it chirping? Maybe it’s a low battery sound? Lady: No! Me: Did you damage the detector at all? Lady: NO!!! I took it off the ceiling, unplugged the hard wires and took out the battery….It’s still alarming! Me: Ma’am how is that possible? You are telling me that it it’s alarming with no power source…? And what were you mentioning about a Hazmat? Lady: UGH!!!! THE NUCLEAR POWER SOURCE, DO TO MERCURY INJECTION FROM THE POWER PLANT IN THIS DETECTOR, IS MAKING THIS THING GO OFF! IT WONT STOP! HEAR! HAVE A LISTEN! Me: ….(hears no sound but her heavy breathing)…. Lady: I WANT TO TALK TO THE KING NUCLEAR EMPORER HOMER SIMPSON OF SPRINGFIELD. Me: …(Holds mic away from face laughs uncontrollably)… Lady: HELLO!? SIR!? ARE YOU LISTENING?!?! Me: Yes ma’am, total emergency, the Fire Department is on the way to help assist you… Night shift at 911 always got the best calls.

WDer

Caller: I’ve been poisoned. Me: Ok, we’re sending an ambulance. Tell me what happened. Caller: I’ve overdosed Me: What did you take? Caller: Pot Me: Marijuana? Caller: Yes. I’m dying. Please hurry. Turns out. She was just super high.

throwitallawayyy2016

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#ENTERTAINMENT

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