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12pt-times-new-roman · 1 year

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c3e49

5+ hour episode! (I am fear)

Ghostly, technicolor, dreamlike lightning crosses the sky, at the very edge of the horizon, barely visible. They see it in every direction, but not above them. Xandis also sees it, so it's not a remnant of the fey realm in their perception; Chetney also picks up "the faintest bit of a buzz to the air, like the faintest touch of the tongue to a nine-volt battery... an ever-present vibration, the taste of energy."

When Chetney was in the northern part of Wildemount, there was a time period when he saw a similar phenomenon that built up over a number of days, peaked in a brilliant display, then dissipated over a few weeks. So, like, the northern lights, but caused by magic instead of electricity.

Chetney talking about weird tea in the northern section of Wildemount, when we know he's been in the Savalirwood? Is Chetney going to be the closest link these people have to the Mighty Nein because he's met the Clays?

Also, burrowing underneath the thing with a sand worm is a great fucking plan (no sarcasm whatsoever).

When Imogen opens her mind, there is a very faint, light, ever-present static or rumble that exists on the periphery of her consciousness.

....oh. Crashing the airship into the sinkhole to hit the key is also a pretty good plan, since they can set it on a course and then jump off (Imogen can fly, Laudna can feather fall, Fearne can wildshape, Ashton can teleport), and they can rig it with explosives. The caveat being that it would cause a significant number of casualties, likely including Liliana and Ryn if they can't get out first.

FCG brings Fearne and Orym along into Imogen's dream as she focuses on her mother.

"Make a d20 roll and add your spellcraft modifier." Could've been a slip of the tongue, but that's certainly interesting in the context of CR potentially moving away from D&D 5e.

On a 24, Imogen gets pulled extremely quickly into the storm, and she stands in the midst of the familiar clouds. No ground, no field, no farm, just her and her companions.

A shadowed form emerges from the cloud, mostly made of dark immaterial, a spiritual being. The eyes, red and glowing, open. The hair becomes light purple, the shaded semblance of material half-there.

"Imogen?" "Mama." "Where are we?" "We're coming. We're coming, and I need your help." As she realizes who Imogen is and where they are, she becomes more material and tangible. An expression of surprise, concern, and a coldness.

"Imogen, you shouldn't be here." "You keep saying that. Tell me there's still part of you that cares. Tell me there's part of you that knows what you're doing is wrong." "Why is it wrong?" "You wanna destroy half the world." "I think you misunderstand what's going on here. The world will be saved at the end of this, and we'll be free." "The world will be eaten, and we'll be gone." "I wish you could see the things that I can see." "Show me."

Images cross her mind. "A massive glowing lattice in the sky, pulling apart as red fills the air above. Thousands and thousands of voices in unison, and a sense of freedom. The cries of history, snuffed in a moment. And the beginning of something new and beautiful. Like endless... possibility. Without guidance, without fate. Without this gift. And in a brief instant, you remember what it was like to not be like this. To just be... you. You return to this dream, and see in her face, this empathetic concern. I'm doing this for the both of us, and he's doing it for everyone. I know change is hard, but we've been toys since the beginning. I wish you could understand. I wish you all could understand." And the dream ends in a flash of white light as she raises her hand.

"What if we're standing in the way of change?" "Well, Imogen, I wish my family didn't have to die for her greater tomorrow."

The way Matt said "endless possibility" is living rent free in my head. It felt so obviously meant to parallel the way he said it to Caleb the first time, the way he looked at the players he knew would pick up on that echo... it felt so intentional.

"If they had such a great idea of what the world should be and what that thing was, they would fucking tell people, and instead they're making everybody miserable." Ashton absolutely has the right idea. Everybody's selfish, everybody's acting in their own self-interest, and the gods are no different but neither are mortals.

At night, they can see that the flashes of energy are outlining a net of rivers of energy. "The leylines of Exandria are beginning to glow in anticipation of the coming solstice." And Chetney swears that they're ever-so-slowly moving -- like the leylines themselves are shifting like clouds at a nearly-imperceptible speed. Both moons look normal, though.

"Ashton... who the fuck are you and where the fuck did you come from?" fucking finally, thank you Laudna

"I am... a blank slate." "I don't believe that." "Well, you wouldn't. All of you have a place that you came from, people who made you who you are -- all except for one -- and... I hate you all a little, you know that, right? I am jealous of you because I know things you don't, I know loneliness you don't, I know the truth of people that none of you do. You know things too, don't think I don't know that..."

"What... what was it like? Waking up and having them there? What was it like to come back and everyone was still there?" "It was one of the greatest feelings, because it wasn't like that the first time." These fuckers are just trading off devastating one-liners and I am living for it

"You can't trust somebody who just wants to die all the time. I've spent time trying to prevent that little robot from murdering themselves and everyone. They're dangerous, but not for the reasons they think they are." someone is finally calling FCG on their martyr complex, thank the gods

Ashton is so thoroughly convinced that they are enlightened by their pain and suffering, that they have it so much worse than everyone else and know better because of it... I can't wait for that worldview to break once and for all.

Back from break and the Hells are talking about finding an agent of the gods to talk to about this whole thing. Excellent, thank fuck

"We should contact a holy person." "Why? Do you need convincing?" laudna.

Sending to Pike from FCG: "Robot holy person here. Big god stuff going down. God eater about to be released from Ruidus on the solstice. We need your deific help. Research. Reach out to us. Ludinus involved." "Oh. Wow. Um. Okay! Robo buddy, let me see what I can find. Okay."

Ashton and Fearne learn to fly the airship!

They also learn more about brumestone: when it is excavated, it just kind of... lifts. It's easily pushed and seems to float on its own. Through arcane charge, its buoyancy is adjusted, allowing an airship to raise and lower.

Sending to "D" from FCG: "Smiley day there. Yellow automaton you sold in Bassuras, to Dancer. Do you know where you picked me up? And are there more of me?" "A wonderful surprise. That is my gift to you: a return to your own path. I pulled you from the wreckage, and your future is yours to make. There are more of you. And more to come." D has a deep, masculine voice with a nonregional accent (I think). The voice is very similar to the voice Matt used for Devexian.

Dust storm! They lose a day of travel.

The next day, the "auroras" and leylines are becoming much brighter and more prominent. There are curtains of magical energy that twist and shift, and the leylines themselves are moving so slowly, like the most miniscule shift of a rainstorm. At night, the leylines themselves are breathtakingly beautiful, and deeply ominous.

We arrive at the Calloway Hideaway, where Birdie, Ollie, Hondir, and Ira are hiding out. Here, they've made a series of what are essentially arcane battery power banks, and Ira is continuing his work on the machine.

Ira wants to destroy the Malleus Key because he's holding a grudge against Ludinus, who kicked Ira off the initial project after he got too curious. Ira wants to destroy the key to prove that he's the superior designer.

As best he knows, Ludinus wanted something that could gather a directly-focused amount of energy. The initial design was just to be an anchor, an accelerant, a bolstering device -- that was the first design, the one in the fey realm. The next was to be different, but Ira was kicked off before Ludinus told him the plan for it, so he helped the Calloways take the crown.

Ira has been using his own machine more like a telescope than anything, keeping tabs on the dig site. Through the eyepiece, it appears to "bank" imagery -- though it's pointing up, FCG gets a top-down view of the sinkhole. After a minute, the vision is interrupted, and Ira notes that the machine seems to emit a dispelling pulse every minute or so.

Apparently, the Ruby Vanguard has made a lot of talk about "breaking, reaching, locking, destroying" Ruidus. "I didn't ask too many questions... until I asked too many questions." They've also moved all of the power sources away from the eye of Ira's machine.

"Who are you praying to?" "Those who came before me." This episode is just full of amazing one-liners, isn't it?

ooooooo whispers on an insight check to see if Ira knows anything about Predathos! Looks like he doesn't though.

Half the group goes to Bassuras to find Hexum's contact. He offers them a handful of healing potions, an amulet of health (sets CON to 19), a circlet of the hidden eye (circlet of mind shielding that deals psychic damage to creatures that try to scry on you), and a belt of momentum (gives the wearer a charge attack with a 25-foot run-up).

Meanwhile, the rest of the group are having a... family therapy session with the Calloways?

Hondir notes that what work the Verity can't finish, they have passed on to "allies more capable in these final stages."

I am so afraid of whatever narrative beat Matt is trying to hit by not ending this episode at 4 hours

Every time Matt describes Ira's limbs, I can't imagine anything except a tailless whip scorpion

As for the magical items, Imogen gets the circlet, Ashton gets the belt, and Laudna gets the amulet. In the shuffle, Chetney puts on the Butcher's Bib, Imogen gives Laudna the feywild shard, and Laudna gives FCG the pearl of power.

Liam rolls an arcane wind storm! Triggered by the rising ley energies of the solstice, colorful lightning streaks across the sky and the air hums with arcana. a failed skill challenge brings the ship down and loses them a day of travel.

....the feywild shard relies on sorcery points to function, but suude gives the user sorcery points, so in theory....

"The beauty slowly becomes terrifying as the face of magic on Exandria, like it does every two centuries or so, is changing."

Another dust storm, but with this one, they're being chased by a massive phoenix-like bird that's purple and black with wings made of flame.

Ashton rage build update: when their possibility rage build is active, there is a "probability matrix" that surrounds them in an aura.

oh my god I fucking love control parties. Fearne turns the bird into a goldfish, which is promptly carried away in the gale-force wind

also, another instance of Matt saying "spellcraft modifier" instead of "spellcasting ability modifier."

....Orym has a seed in his pouch that's glowing and pulsing? he got it from a druid in Nirdal-Poc. FCG identifies it as a message bloom; upon being planted and watered, it conveys a message from Keyleth. "Orym. The Cult of the Dark Heart beneath Terrah was a challenging maze of dangers for the Ashari, but the Darkheart Behemoth was subdued and the rift returned to our control. I message you because I attempted to apprehend Vureo, the leader of this cult, but he vanished, shouting, 'the Vanguard will prevail, and the world will finally be free.' But given all that you have told me, it would seem our paths are converging. Please, let us know where this Vanguard makes its work; perhaps I can gather the Ashari to stand against Ludinus and his Vanguard."

A message back from Imogen: "Message received. They're converging at the nexus northeast of Bassuras, the Tishtan excavation point. We should be arriving in two days' time, if all goes well. Thank you." "I appreciate the heads up. We'll gather who's available and able-bodied, see that our wounded are taken care of, and attempt to meet you there as soon as possible. Be safe."

I gotta admit, I was getting pretty worried there, but I think this significantly ups the chance of the Mighty Nein or the Crown Keepers showing up, and rather than detracting from any victories the Hells achieve it really drives home the gravity of the situation.

Talking to Orym and then to Laudna.... Imogen is seriously giving off the vibes of someone who's already made a huge decision and is trying to find justification or support for it after the fact but is only getting more evidence that what she chose was wrong.

god, the character convos in this episode have been on point.

"Ashton will spend the night with a bottle of something at the back of the ship, arguing with people who aren't there." ????

(for the record, yes, you can counterspell antimagic field.)

#critical role #critical role spoilers #critical role liveblog #critical role campaign 3 #critical role c3 #note watches c3 #critical role c3 spoilers #long post #super long lost

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mollymauk-teafleak · 5 years

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the one who blooms in the bitter snow (final part)

Oh my god have I dragged this out. Sincerest apologies on how long this happy ending took to get here

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Caduceus often talked to things that couldn’t talk back. He talked to his plants, encouraging them through the winter and complimenting them on their leaves and shoots. He talked to the army of mismatched mugs he used in his cafe, admonishing any who spilled things or who strayed from their intended arrangement on the shelves that made sense only to Caduceus. He talked to the clouds in the sky, thanking them for much needed rain. He talked to the insects that visited his cemetery, any worms found on the path that he would gently pick up and promise to see safely back to the soil, any bees that roamed the flowering plants, even any lizards he found sunning themselves in the rockery.

He didn’t say anything wrong with talking to things that could give no reply. It wasn’t as if such a minor detail meant such things couldn’t listen. Often, in fact, he thought it made them much better listeners than anything with a voice box.

However, one thing he hadn’t ever really found himself doing was talking to the dead.

It would have made sense, as much as talking to rotting corpses beneath the ground could ever make sense. Caduceus was surrounded by them every day, after all, a patchwork family of people all united only by the fact that the Blooming Grove had become their final resting place. He tended them, wreathed them in wilderness, watched over their loved ones in his cafe whenever they would come to visit them. Keeping them safe was the calling he’d chosen. But he never spoke to them.

Perhaps he’d just come to the quiet conclusion that the dead were past caring about his words. They’d left the cares of the living world behind them and nattering on to them about it would spoil the reverence they deserved, interrupt the sleep they’d earned.

They were the Wildmother’s now, after all.

But now Caduceus found himself with a pressing need to cross that line he’d set for himself. He needed to talk to one of his residents, whether they replied or not.

And he got the feeling they would want to hear from him just as desperately.

Caduceus had to smile weakly at the surname, however nervous he was.

Tealeaf. How appropriate.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and sat cross legged at the foot of the grave. It had been there long enough for the grass to grow back over the turned earth, as lush and tall as everything that surrounded it but it was still clearly one of the newer ones. The stone wasn’t yet weathered by time, perfectly readable, still cool grey marble that shone faintly in the morning light.

Mollymauk Tealeaf. Beloved husband and father.

No date. That was passing strange. Though maybe seeing the scant handful of decades Molly had been allowed when he should have had so much more time to be a father, time to be a husband, would just be too painful.

The insignia of the Moonweaver was artfully carved below the short epitaph, a sign that was rarely seen in the graveyard. Of course, godly symbols were on nearly every headstone but it was always the more common, more acceptable gods. The All Hammer, the Raven Queen, the Dawnfather; dependable, parental gods that people wanted to guard them through their lives and walk with their loved ones into the next realm.

The Moonweaver was light, love, laughter, frivolity. Did she feel lost in a place like this?

Caduceus cleared his throat, unsure how to start. He had the depressing realisation that even in a conversation with a dead man, he was still on the back foot in terms of social skills.

“I...I’m not sure how you feel about me, Mr Tealeaf,” he eventually sighed, “I don’t think I could blame you for hating me. Resenting me, at least. You know the kind of thoughts I’ve had about Caleb.”

Habit made him pause, though he knew he’d get no reply. So he just sat silently with his guilt for a heartbeat.

“But...I think you’d agree he wasn’t coping well before I met him. I know that must break your heart. Same as it breaks mine.”

The wind picked up a little, a mournful sound through the trees up above.

“I can’t lie and say I don’t have feelings for him. But the last thing I want to do is hurt him more or… or push him into something he isn’t ready for. And… if I thought my loving him would do that, I would have stopped immediately. But something tells me he...he could...I mean we could…” Caduceus spluttered to a stop, giving up with a heavy sigh, “But after last night… I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m just sitting here talking to the wind, telling myself what I want to hear.”

He felt tears sting his eyes and blinked quickly to try and clear them, “I don’t want to feel wrong for loving someone. He’s yours, Molly, he will always be yours but couldn’t I just… look after him? Until he goes to join you? Just a turn…”

His voice choked off and he had to swallow hard to get the next words out.

“Am I wrong to want that?”

The wind died down and Caduceus was left with next to silence. He felt a tiredness crash over him, so deep and heavy, that for a long moment he felt certain he was just going to curl up on the ground and cry for a little while.

What distracted him was a bird call. It was shrill and sudden, like nothing normally heard in the gardens and Caduceus knew the names of every bird who visited the Blooming Grove throughout the year. He tried to place it but it only rang out the once. There was something almost exotic about it, something unusual. Caduceus thought for a moment, considering all the birds he knew. It was almost like a cockatiel or a parrot or maybe even a peacock.

He frowned. What on earth would a peacock be doing in his graveyard?

He stood up, brushing himself off. He knew he should do a round, just in case someone’s exotic pet bird had escaped and needed to be brought back home.

Anyway, it was clear Mollymauk Tealeaf had nothing to say to him.

Caduceus rarely wore any kind of coat, his fur kept him plenty warm, but the weather had grown so cold recently that he’d dug out the fleece lined, faded, patched coat he kept in reserve for the days when the city froze solid and there was ice on the pavements.

Despite the closed sign on the door, it was warm inside the cafe. Caduceus felt ever so slightly better once the cold leached out of the tips of his ears and the very end of his nose, replaced by the gentle music, the warmth, the scents of caffeine and sugar that he knew so well. It wouldn’t fix things, he knew that, but it gave him the sense that he’d entered somewhere safe.

Sighing softly, Caduceus shrugged out of his coat and made to hang it on the hooks by the door, all of them charmingly mismatched as everything was in here. The hooks that should be empty, seeing as he’d had no customers since the day before yesterday.

But it wasn’t.

Caleb’s scarf was hanging on the furthermost hook, looking sad and bedraggled after being soaked through in yesterday afternoon’s rain and drying out in the air.

It must have been hung up there as Caleb had stripped down, set aside from the rest of his clothes, forgotten in his hurried flight from the cafe.

Caduceus let out a long, tired exhale, trying to accept this new information without bitterness or resentment, without exasperation or anger at something he couldn’t change.

But gods above, it was hard.

He was nowhere near ready to face him again. Since everything that had happened, less than twenty four hours ago, he wasn’t even sure Caleb would want to see him ever again, he certainly didn’t look the type to face up to an awkward situation, more the bolting and hiding like a frightened animal type. And he had no clue what he himself wanted.

All he knew right now was that the thought of Caleb without his scarf, without the thing he clung onto tightly when he couldn’t cling onto the person he’d lost, broke his heart. And he had to fix it.

Above all else, Caduceus was a fixer. Even when it meant risking his own feelings.

“Are we gonna go to the cafe today?”

Caleb looked up from stroking his neck sadly, feeling the horrible, gnawing absence of his scarf, and tried to focus on his son, sat on the carpet with a picture book.

“No, liebling, I don’t think so. It’s...it’s so cold out,” he said awkwardly, tripping over the lie.

Trinket frowned, plucking at the pages of his book, “But we go on Fridays. We go after school.”

His little boy was fiercely attached to patterns and routine, just like Caleb himself.

“I know, Trinket,” Caleb struggled to muster the energy to mollify him, curled up tightly on the sofa, feeling lost and disconnected, “Papa’s just not really feeling it today, okay?”

Trinket paused at that, looking at him with familiar, wide red eyes that would never fail to shake his papa to the core when he saw them. Leaving his picture book behind, he pattered up and hugged Caleb’s leg tightly, the one that was dangling listlessly over the edge of the sofa.

“It’s okay, papa,” he said, voice muffled by Caleb’s pant leg, “Its okay to have a sad day.”

Caleb often thought his son was magic. Not in the way his papa was- not yet- but magic in his own way where he could make the world seem like it wasn’t ending.

Trying not to cry because then the floodgates would open and he’d truly be in trouble, Caleb ruffled those purple curls and smiled shakily, “I love you, Trinket. You know that, right?”

He smiled brightly, “Sure! I know! I’m gonna go play with my legos, papa, okay?”

Caleb nodded fondly, his son had been obsessed with building things and quickly destroying them for a good few weeks now, “Sure. Call me when you’re done and I’ll help you clear them away.”

Happy with that, Trinket scampered off, probably already imagining himself crashing through newly constructed towers like a lavender godzilla. Caleb watched him go, a tender smile on his face until he disappeared from view, when it slid off his face.

He felt like all he did these days was wait for 3pm. Like as soon as he waved goodbye to Trinket at the school gate everything froze and went into stasis, everything straining towards that hour where he could go back and have Trinket by his side again. He knew he adored school, he knew he was safe there.

He knew he was crazy to feel this way.

But it didn’t stop the feelings.

Caleb told himself every morning at a quarter to nine that he shouldn’t be doing this. It was far too much to put onto his young son, it was unhealthy, it was unfair. He deserved a life of his own, Trinket needed him to have it too.

But every time Caleb thought it, he thought it in Caduceus’ voice. And, since he’d messed up so badly yesterday, that was a problem.

He had messed up. He’d messed up more spectacularly than he’d ever messed up before which was really saying something for Caleb. He’d hurt the first person in years who’d made him even begin to think that he could be loved again in that kind of way.

He’d always suspected that Molly was a chance in a million, some high level miracle. Actually finding someone so wonderful, someone who could see some good in him. But then it had actually happened again, when he needed it most.

And both times he’d completely ruined it.

He’d lost Molly. He’d lost Caduceus. He’d lost his scarf which, he knew was silly, but it felt like the first loss all over again. Though maybe it was a fitting sacrifice for what he’d done.

How many precious things could he lose before he was just deemed too careless to live? How long until whatever curse he had infected Trinket?

Caleb could almost feel all the progress he’d made in the last few weeks unravelling like a trailing thread he’d worried far too much falling into nothing. He sat there and rocked gently, trying to take in deep breaths and stay in the room but it was getting increasingly difficult.

Especially when a knock came at the door.

Trinket didn’t hear it, he was behind his bedroom door, singing loudly to himself, a happy little nonsense song he’d clearly just made up to amuse himself. So Caleb forced himself to stand and go to the door, mentally slapping himself, telling himself to get a grip.

All that went out of the window when he opened the door and saw Caduceus.

“You’re...you’re here,” Caleb said dumbly, throat feeling numb like he’d just swallowed a mouthful of ice water.

“I’m here,” Caduceus returned awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot.

There were snowflakes melting in his hair. When had it started to snow?

“I didn’t think…I mean, I didn’t expect you to ever…” the starts of sentences crowded in Caleb’s mouth, none of them accompanied by ends. He didn’t want to sound whiney, he didn’t want to sound like Caduceus was wrong to be mad at him.

“You didn’t think I’d want to see you again?” Caduceus finished it for him, tilting his head to one side.

“Yeah,” Caleb bit his lip, feeling his cheeks burn despite the cold air sweeping into the apartment alongside Cad.

“Of course you did,” the firbolg said quietly, “You’re you.”

Caleb didn’t know what to say to that, he just kind of took hold of it like a present he hadn’t been expecting.

“I brought your scarf back,” he produced it from one pocket, carefully folded and clearly having just come through the dryer, back to full fluffiness, “You must have left it yesterday.”

Caleb felt a rush of relief, a compulsion to gather it into his arms and clutch it to his chest, inhale the scent of vanilla and anise that wasn’t there anymore but he could imagine it was.

And then he felt guilty.

Was he going to spend the rest of his life chasing after things he could only half remember rather than seeing what was in front of him?

“Thank you, Caduceus,” he murmured, “I really, really appreciate it.”

That brought a smile from the firbolg, even if it was a little strained at the edges, “Yeah… I guess I also came over because I was hoping we could talk?”

Caleb nodded, thinking anxiously of Trinket but he could explain to him that Caduceus was here for a visit. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been here before, dropping off homemade baked goods or little gifts like the scent bags that had soothed his anxiety so well and helped Trinket with his bad dreams. Trinket had always been happy to see him before, showing him whatever he’d built that day, showing him the art project he’d made at school from the leaves they’d gathered together at the Blooming Grove.

Caduceus was always so soft and gentle with Trinket. He always seemed to know just what to say, to answer his million a minute questions, to soothe him when he stumbled into some uncertainty, to make him giggle so hard he had to sit down. Caduceus was exactly the kind of caregiver Caleb wanted to be. He was exactly who Trinket deserved.

“Can I get you a drink?” Caleb asked as Caduceus sat on the sofa, holding himself a little stiffly like he wasn’t sure where to put his gangly limbs.

“Um…sure?”

Caleb let himself sink into a kind of automation as he got cups, boiled water, found teabags from the collection that had been growing ever since Caduceus had come into his life. But then there were soft billows of scented steam to breathe in and he woke up again, reminding himself to be present. Caduceus deserved better than that. And maybe he did too.

“Here,” he passed one mug to Caduceus, slightly regretting that it was patterned with badly faded cartoon characters but their selection wasn’t great, “I, um, I used the cinnamon tea you gave me yesterday. You were just out in the snow and I don’t want you to get sick.”

The smile was more genuine this time, warmer, like the starting embers of a fire, “Thank you, Caleb. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, sitting down beside him, hands curled around his own cup to stop them shaking. There was a long moment of silence, as they both sat and remembered another evening much like this one. Eventually Caleb opened his mouth but Caduceus got there first, spilling his words out like he couldn’t bear to hold them inside himself any more.

“Caleb, I…if I made you feel pressured yesterday or…or I pushed you into kissing me in any way, I’m so sorry…”

Caleb blinked for a second and then found himself laughing, “And you were so sure I’d be torturing myself…”

Caduceus’ ears flattened and he chuckled uncertainly which Caleb took to be the fur covered individual’s way of blushing, “Well, we can both be as bad as each other.”

“I kissed you, Caduceus,” Caleb shook his head, “It was my choice. And… I know how it ended and I wouldn’t blame you for not trusting me but it really was you I wanted to kiss. I promise.”

“Really?” Caduceus fixed him with dark, wet eyes. The doubt stung a little but of course, he knew he deserved it.

“Really,” he nodded firmly, “You’ve been so good to me, to Trinket. You’ve made one of the hardest times in my life feel… bearable.”

Caduceus only nodded, a crease of concern appearing between his eyes. He simply waited for Caleb to say more.

Caleb looked down into his drink, “I thought time was supposed to heal me, I thought it was supposed to make it easier. But the further away I get from losing him, the more part of me holds on. It’s like I don’t want the pain to go because then… then I really will have nothing left of him.”

“When you’ve felt a certain way for so long, it’s hard to let go of it,” Caduceus said slowly, thoughtfully, “Because then you don’t know what would be left if you took that part of yourself away.”

Caleb nodded, “Exactly. And… and it was the same when I started having feelings for you. That would mean letting go of at least some of my grief and stepping into uncertainty. And the idea terrifies me.”

Caduceus gave a soft sigh, “I would never ask you to abandon your grief, Caleb. It’s important that you always mourn Mollymauk. All I want is for you to have something happy alongside that.”

Caleb felt his lower lip wobbling dangerously, “I want that. I really want that, Cad.”

The words made an old, angry guilt twist inside him but it was a relief as well. And as the seconds went by, as he realised the truth of what he’d just said, the guilt lost its fury. It lost its anger. It shrank a little, the slightest, smallest amount into something that couldn’t be ignored but could at least be carried.

“We can go as slow as you need to, Caleb,” Caduceus’ voice was tender and he leant forward, looking like he was itching to hold him and press him close.

But he didn’t close the gap between them. And he never would, not until he knew Caleb was completely okay. Years could and would pass between them and Caduceus would never lose that respect for him.

So Caleb took the front of his moss green shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. And he would, time and time again.

Though, a hair’s breadth after their lips met there came the sound of a muffled but still loud crash from Trinket’s bedroom, followed by a loud excited whooping from the young boy.

“Oh dear…” Caleb murmured anxiously, eyes on the door. Though whether he meant the crash and the inevitable mess it had led to or the realisation that he would have to explain to Trinket why Caduceus was here and why he was kissing him, he wasn’t sure.

Caduceus seemed to read his mind, those dark eyes always seeing more than what was in front of them, “Caleb, if you’re happy, I’m sure he won’t mind. He’s a smart kid. After all, he’s yours.”

Caleb had to laugh softly at that, blushing a little. It was true, he could compliment his son to the stars and often miss the fact that most of the things he was praising were inherited from him. But the depths of kindness he almost couldn’t fathom, the understanding and gentleness that was going to make him delighted that his papa had found someone new to love, that was all Mollymauk.

And as long as Caleb had Trinket, Molly would never be gone.

#clayleb #modern au #widower caleb #oc baby #fluff #hurt/comfort #please leave a comment!

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plasmavamp · 5 years

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just. all of them. all of the ones you haven't answered yet. whatever the numbers are bc i cannot for the life of me keep track of which ones I've asked for already glfhsgslfksd

1, 6, 11, 16, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30*cracks knuckles*

1. Who makes the first move and how? Morgyn. And it’s only because both of them are so charged with...many emotions. After so, sooooo many years of not seeing each other, they’re practically strangers again. But they have questions to ask and answers to explain, and after spending a whole night just talking, Morgyn just pulls Caleb in a long, soft, heartbreaking kiss before leaving the conversation.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome? Bold of you to assume Caleb would share. jk @morgynnember eralens invited im fucking joking but now its a crack ship ericka i swear to fucking GOD YOU MEME LOVING FUCK ILY LMAO

11. What do they hide from one another? Well. It wasn’t so much as hiding from the other but more so as the other didn’t know. Morgyn ran away from their life at age 15, stumbled upon Aine and she took them under her wing, trained them proper magic and such, and over the span of 5 some years, Morgyn grew up a bit and went through transitioning and growing into the person they were meant to be, and not long after their 20/21 birthday, they learned (and then binded to) the immortality spell, a dark magic spell that rarely anyone knows. Caleb, however, was turned into a vampire roughly a year after Morgyn disappeared. So for 200 odd years, they didn’t even know the other was alive until [redacted] happens present day when they see each other for the first time in so long.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together? They either bunker in the Realm because separate realm of worlds, they go hide out in Strangerville where actual bunkers are, or they take care of things themselves because like...they can lol. idk how to answer this??? lol

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go? I highkey feel like...they’d impulse go back to the era “before things changed”; Morgyn specifically. I can see them wanting...to just see Rowan, in the flesh, and happy. Maybe convince her to not do anything crazy that would put the turmoil on everyone. Caleb would be there to convince present!Morgyn not to do anything to change the past because, it is what it is, and would they be where they are now? Truly 100% happy and safe from the dangers and alive and well, with friends and family, etc? If things were different, it would probably be worse. And now I’m sad.

18. When they fight, how do they make up? OOF okie hm. If/When they have little bout of arguments of something, Morgyn is the stubborn loud angry but is quiet when sulking and fuming. They’d go hole up somewhere and try to calm down with some spells and magic and some reading, possibly. About an hour later they’d just...feel bad. And Caleb would know because telepathy, and after leaving them alone a moment, he’d find Morgyn and just sit with them and hug them close and tight and press smol kisses to their temple/forehead/hair and hug it out; Morgyn eventually softens up and climbs into his lap and just hugs him. Fighting is useless, tbh.

20. Where do they go on holiday? Probably somewhere warm and sunny and has nice weather!! Caleb’s immune to sunlight so he’s cool with wherever Morgyn wants to go ^-^

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another? Hmmmmm I’m not sure 👀 (not sure how to answer lol)

22. Where does their first kiss happen? On the rooftop space outside Morgyn’s window; refer to my answer to number 1. It’s emotional, a long lingering kiss, and it happens at the brink of sunrise while the dark starry sky brightens with the orange autumn sun rising at the horizon. Morgyn leaves to go back inside just before the sun breaks over the horizon.

23. Where is their favourite place to be together? Literally anywhere the other is at, but mostly at home, being comfy.

24. Where do they first have sex? In Morgyn’s room heh

25. Why do they fight? They don’t usually fight; sometimes they’ll have little spitspats over dumb shit then makeup afterward but I mean, relationships amirite. The only “fight” I can see them having is before they have the first serious catch-up talk (pre-first kiss) and it’s literally just anxiety and high strung emotions of what’s happened and suddenly seeing each other for the first time in over two hundred years. Caleb urges for answers and Morgyn snaps at him before telling him that they’ll talk later.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat? To catch up with things, answer questions, etc.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them? I think their friends don’t get annoyed with them, they actually encourage the two to be cute and together because they’ve been so heavily depressed and sad and lonely for so long that them being together is like seeing a puzzle being completed.

28. Why do they get jealous? Morgyn is, obviously, a gorgeous cutie. Caleb doesn’t get jealous when others look at the golden-haired cutie at his side but he does get a tiny bit possessive and does a lot of public displays of affection with Morgyn such as random from-behind hugs or cheek smooches, actual kisses by surprise, the cute hair smooch while walking and talking, you get the idea. Morgyn doesn’t get the whole jealousy feeling for Caleb when people notice how hot cute he is, though. But they do notice Caleb being lowkey clingy and they tbh don’t mind it.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them? They are soulmates. They are the twin flames, the red string of fate, the sun to the moon, etc. Polar opposites that fit so well together. While alone, they are lonely, broken, and incomplete. When together, they make the other glow and colorful and bright like nothing else could. They help each other when one is down, and they are, to be blunt, perfect for each other. It was by literal chance that Morgyn took the immortality spell to live forever to be with their niece eventually, and Caleb being turned into a vampire—and one day, their lives crossing again. They are the yin-yang, the light to the dark; I literally could go ON.

#answered #morgyn x caleb #cargyn

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