Hyperfixation and passion got married and are taking care of all of the interests! Elias’ brain is just absolutely flooded with dopamine right now, it’s the BEST.
“A strong sense of pleasure slightly tempered by conscience sounds pretty fun.” Trapp is always 100% correct. My god this man is so quick and talented. More Trapp on D20 2kforever.
Conscience understanding the place self-loathing can come from and shrinking it back into more helpful “you fucked up but you’re going to fix it” guilt, accountability. Goddamn seriously self-loathing evolving from guilt Brennan you’re a goddamn genius.
Impulse and hyper vigilance have gotten divorced and remarried 17 times at least already, you can’t convince me otherwise.
Dustloop is my fucking favorite because it's such a good resource for Gear specifically and it's always pretty clean but I also love the little bits of personality that get thrown in. This is exactly how I write too when I'm trying to get to the important part I want to talk about
"[whatever] > rensen(8)" whoever did this part I desire you carnally
The Spring semester has officially started, which means I am now fully preparing for my comps, a two-hour oral exam that I have to take in order to officially become a PhD candidate. I have to read ninety books by May, latest August : )
I’ve gotten started with the most exciting of my three reading lists: the Gothic!! Basically, my reading is going to be a journey of getting a comprehensive overview of all things 19th-century British/Victorian literature, 19th-century Latin American literature, and the Gothic. I’ve already gotten started with my first five books, but I thought the other day: I feel like video reviews of each book would be a fantastic way to remember the important information about each of the readings. Nothing crazy or long, just a 2-5 minute review of the book and why it’s important if you want to become a student of the literature.
Anyways, I like this idea a lot and I feel like sharing it on my old bookstagram or on TikTok would be a nice way to get a dopamine hit for the reviews — if anyone were to watch or react to my reviews, I know it would make reviewing the books all the more fun!
But . . . And this is a big but . . . Then that would mean that I’d be opening myself to being perceived. And that’s really embarrassing to me. Like, what if I make a video and nobody gives a fuck? That’s so embarrassing. What if I make a video and a student or someone in my program sees it? Mortifying. It really does seem fun and a small part of me really want to do it but man, oh man, would I be scared!!
Technically, one of magz popular posts was a warning post ("callout") of a popular white-identified cis man youtuber (Isaiah Merkin).
For being antisemitic and racist, plus influencing an actual neo-nazi militia group while still having niche christo-fascist beliefs after "renouncing" the group.
Magz telling viewers be aware of the politics n beliefs they "consume".
He did not get adversely affected by this.
As is telling that vulnerable populations can potentially lose community and become homeless from interpersonal conflicts or being palatably unpleasant/gross.
whereas those in privileged positions or of power can monetize and make a living while barely affected by genuine criticisms and warnings of harmful behaviors.
Being shown to have a lot of influence.
In other cases, even serially abuse people (like some other popular internet personalities).
Online is an extension of real life biases. It is not an equal playing field.
(And yes, this extends to racist dog piling that black people experience for being disliked.)
My new asthma specialist said my lungs sound pretty clear rn actually, and my habit of getting dizzy and tunnel vision whenever breathing deeply is more likely my lungs just needing to be retrained after years of shallow breathing. Doing things like whatever yoga breathing is or playing a recorder or something.
So uh. I found a thirteen dollar brass tin whistle in D. so uh. Sorry neighbors
Kratos goes from a hermit in the woods and super anti social to asking Freya to rebuild society with him. Freya goes from wanting to kill kratos to being his traveling companion and wanting to build society with him.
you choose your words carefully and your words will be heard. you’re smart as hell. you know it and so does everyone else and you carry yourself with a sort of confidence. you’re a bit of an artist yourself, even if unintentional. you can find beauty in mundanity but you also know when to be a realist. people fall in love with you because you are a confident mystery and they're dying to find out more. you fear that this attraction that people have to you is based purely in curiosity and nothing else.