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b-sidemusic · 6 years

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THE B-SIDE BUMPER BACKTRACK 2017 - PART TWO

Whoever you talk to, and whatever they're into, the consensus seems to be that 2017 has been an incredible year for the East Anglian DIY music scene. For Part Two of our Festive Retrospective Extravaganza, we spoke to yet more promoters, writers, DJs and artists from around the region about their favourite albums, tracks, gigs and moments from the last 12 months, including Fightmilk, The Interesting Times Gang, Kyanos, Graceland, Desperate Journalist, Sophie Mahon, Kulk, Clown Smash Everything, F.O.X and more...

LILY RAE

The Tyler Durden of Fightmilk club. www.fightmilkisaband.bandcamp.com

Album of the Year: ‘Juniverbrecher’ by The Indelicates. It’s spooky, furious, and you can dance to it. In other words, an ideal album. Track of the Year: ‘Prom’ by SZA. You can just put it on repeat for about an hour and not get bored of it. Lovely. Gig of the Year: I’ve got two: Julien Baker at (London’s) Union Chapel, for my favourite super sad telecaster porn or Tundra at The Hunter Club (In Bury St Edmunds), which was the most fucking amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life. You could make beer-glitter angels on the venue floor after the set. Moment of the Year: Princess Nokia throwing soup at a racist. More throwing soup at racists in 2018, please. Turns out it’s a very versatile food. Tip for 2018: This is the year you go to the dentist, pal.

HANNAH CUTLER

Leader of The Interesting Times Gang. www.facebook.com/interestingtimesgang

Albums of the Year: ‘Superman’ by Wednesday Campanella. Also, ‘A Deeper Understanding’ by The War On Drugs and 'Every Valley' by Public Service Broadcasting. Tracks of the Year: ‘How Do You Sleep?’ by LCD Soundsystem. Moments of the Year: Not sure if I have any. To be brutally honest, my absolute favourite album I’ve listened to this year is ‘Power Windows’ by Rush. But it was released in 1985.

KYANOS

AKA Seth, Sam, Zach and Fintan: a four-headed psych beast who answer as one. www.kyanosbaby.bandcamp.com

Albums of the Year: ‘Flower Boy’ by Tyler the Creator; ‘The Ooz’ by King Krule; ‘Sketches of Brunswick East’ by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard with Mild High Club; ‘Drunk’ by Thundercat.

Tracks of the Year: ‘Rolling Stone’ by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard with Mild High Club; ‘For the First Time’ by Mac Demarco; ‘Call Me Up’ by Homeshake; ’Moment I Feared’ by Snoop Dogg.

Gigs of the Year: Homeshake; Chic; Yung Lean; Jamiroquai; King Krule.

Moments of the Year: Being mentioned in NME. First headline gig in London. The release of (debut EP) ‘Elevator to Japan’.

Tips for 2018: Treat 'em clean, keep it mean and have a sweet dream.

MATT CATLING

Ipswich Smokehouse’s Freakverbrator. www.freakverbration.blogspot.co.uk

Albums of the Year: Alvvays - ‘Antisocialites’; Slowdive - ‘Slowdive’; Cigarettes After Sex - ‘Cigarettes After Sex’; Frankie Rose - ‘Cage Tropical’; Fever Dream - ‘Squid’; Thurston Moore - ‘Rock n Roll Concussion’; The Gluts - ‘Estasi’; Kamikaze Girls - ‘Seaform’; Anne Hart - ‘Impossible Accomplice’; Idles - ‘Brutalism’.

Tracks of the Year: No Vacation - ‘Mind Fields’; Hazel English - ‘Fix’; Softer Still - ‘Company’; Major Leagues - ‘Good Love’; Lowtide - ‘Alibi’; Desperate Journalist - ‘Hollow’; METZ - ‘Cellophane’; Diet Cig - ‘Tummy Acre’; Is Bliss - ‘Into A Dream’.

Gigs of the Year: Part Chimp at Cambridge Portland Arms, 13th April; London DIY Pop Fest 2017, 28th-30th April; Desperate Journalist at Bury St Edmunds Hunter Club, 17th June; Kamikaze Girls at Ipswich Smokehouse, 23rd June; Indietracks 2017, 28th-30th July; Liverpool International Festival of Psychedelia, 22nd September; Pinkshinyultrablast at London Hackney Oslo, 20th October; Cambridge Indie Pop all-dayer at The Blue Moon, 18th November; Amusement Parks On Fire at London Borderline, 25th November.

Moments of the Year: Covering festivals like DIY Popfest, Indietracks and Liverpool Psych Fest. Interviewing bands I love such as pinkshinyultrablast, and getting myself an AAA pass. Putting on gigs at The Smokehouse. Getting back into blogging.

Tips for 2018: Keep on plugging away with what you’re doing. Get into covering gigs and festivals. Create your own blog or do your own radio show about your own interests.

MAXIE GEDGE

Graceland sticksmith and PRS Foundation guru. www.soundcloud.com/graceland_band

Albums of the Year: 1. Nubya Garcia - ‘Nubya’s 5ive’ 2. Hannah Peel - ‘Mary Casio: Journey to Cassiopeia’ 3. Lana Del Rey - ‘Lust for Life’ 4. Princess Nokia - ‘1992 Deluxe’ 5. The Big Moon - ‘Love In The 4th Dimension’

Tracks of the Year: 1. Flohio - ‘SE16’ 2. Superorganism - ‘Something For Your Mind’ 3. Charli XCX - ‘Boys’ 4. Sink Ya Teeth - ‘If You See Me’ 5. Goat Girl - ‘Crow Cries’

Gigs of the Year: Mykki Blanco - Meltdown at Southbank Centre; Hannah Peel and Mary Epworth at Norwich Arts Centre.

Moments of the Year:Ray Blk speech at Women in Music Awards and (documentary) ‘The Ballad of Shirley Collins’.

Tips for 2018: Flohio; Soeur; Bonzai; IDER; Maya Law.

NEIL JONES

Bringer of rock thunder to Cambridge 105fm and KLFM; Operations Manager at Cambridge Live. www.cambridge105.co.uk/shows/neil-jones

Album of the Year: Wayward Sons – ‘Ghost Of Yet To Come’.

Tracks of the Year: ‘Play’ by Marmozets.

Gigs of the Year: Subterranean Festival at Cambridge Corn Exchange; Marillion at the Royal Albert Hall; Iron Maiden at Nottingham Arena.

Moments of the Year: On a personal level, launching the new Subterranean one-day festival at Cambridge Corn Exchange, which is back for 2018; a (partially) reformed Guns ’n’ Roses playing the UK; and Prophets of Rage slaying Download.

Tips for 2018: Milk Teeth’s 2017 EPs showed a promise that should be delivered upon in 2018, and Cambridge bands Hollowstar and False Hearts are great bands with a bright future.

PAUL JENKINS

Our man in Norwich. www.outlineonline.co.uk

Albums of the Year: In order: Peter Perret - ‘How The West Was Won’; Madonnatron - ‘Madonnatron’; Jay Ducker - ‘Country Sober’; Mogwai - ‘Every Country’s Sun’; Amadou & Mariam - LA CONFUSION’; Wooden Arms - ‘Trick Of The Light’; British Sea Power - ‘Let The Dancers Inherit The Party’; Wire - ‘Silver / Lead’; The Jesus & Mary Chain - ‘Damage And Joy’; Ho99o9 - ‘United States of Horror’. (I’ve not included compilations. If I had, ‘This Was The Sound of Sugar Town’, ‘This Is The Sound Of Sugar Town Volume 2’ and ‘The Best of Chris T-T’ would have been in there.)

Tracks of the Year: In order: Zero UK - ‘Things You Love’; Gaffa Tape Sandy - ‘Beehive’; Ho99o9 - ‘United States of Horror’; Janet Street Slaughter - ‘The Sensitive Side of Bill Sykes’; Mega Emotion - ‘Sick Burn’; Charlotte Gainsbourg - ‘Deadly Valentine’; Jim Jones & The Righteous Mind - ‘Something’s Gonna Get Its Hands On You’; Madonnatron - ‘Mother’s Funeral’; Marc Almond - ‘Something Bad On My Mind’; Peter Perret - ‘Troika’.

Gigs of the Year: Almost every gig I have been to this year has had at least one excellent act on the bill so picking highlights is tougher than ever but here goes (in date order): Ho99o9, Norwich Waterfront, January; Nightingales and Graceland, Norwich Arts Centre, February; Horse Party and Claws, Bury St Edmunds Hunter Club, April; Melt Banana, Mega Emotion and Algae Bloom, Norwich Arts Centre, June; Magoo, Norwich Arts Centre, July; Dowling Poole and Last Great Dreamers, London Borderline, September; Gaffa Tape Sandy, Norwich Arts Centre, October; Bad Apples, Norwich Owl Sanctuary November; Wonk Unit, Owl Sanctuary, November; Icicle Works, Norwich Arts Centre, November. Honourable mentions also to British Sea Power, Subhumans, Wire, The Lovely Eggs, Rainbow Girls, Hot Raisin, Tubes and the four Quireboys/Last Great Dreamers dates I managed to get to.

Moments of the Year: Driving, crewing and doing merch for Last Great Dreamers when they supported Quireboys in Aberdeen, Glasgow, Newcastle and London; chatting to Alex from Wonk Unit before their Owl Sanctuary gig about addiction and being sober - anyone else would have been dull as chuff but Alex was his usual entertaining, engaging self (haven't paid any attention to him, though); meeting the various members of The Tubes - albeit briefly – after their show at the Waterfront.

Tips for 2018: Charlotte Carpenter, Bryde and Tibetan Night Terrors should break through to some mainstream success. The next She Makes War LP and Last Great Dreamers’ LP number four will be absolute belters. I have not seen New Scientists yet but everyone I know who has seen them says they are destined for big things. Ooh, and I’ve had sneak previews of the next Lovely Eggs and Hookworms albums, and they are crackers.

RICHARD HAUGH

BBC Introducing in Suffolk’s other lovely chap. www.bbc.co.uk/radiosuffolk

Albums of the Year: Dingus Khan - ‘Dunce Kap’. The wait had been too long, but I’ll let them off for that. Sadly, it’s so far only been available at two gigs, but a full release early in the new year [our spies tell us it’ll be out in April - Espionage Ed.] should be celebrated.

Tracks of the Year: Bessie Turner, ‘Words You Say’ – just wow. It never gets boring. And Gaffa Tape Sandy’s ‘Water Bottle’ and ‘Beehive’. It’s really hard to be a stand out indie band but Gaffa Tape Sandy have managed to do just that.

Moments of the Year: My memory is terrible, so I may well be overlooking things, but earlier this week I went to Maida Vale with Bessie Turner and spent the day being stunned by her talent and how much she’s achieved this year. She only released her debut single in April but went on to play at Latitude and has become a firm favourite of Jo Whiley’s. It’s refreshing to see that good things can happen to artists who are doing everything on their own terms, without the reliance of industry connections or a large pile of cash.

Tips for 2018: Hopefully the momentum behind Bessie Turner and Gaffa Tape Sandy will result in further nice things for them both. I’ll also be eagerly awaiting new music from Leaone, Amy Milner and Radio Orwell, who are now a very good live band.

RICHARD ROSE

R*E*P*E*A*T Records’ lone honcho. Does his lists a little differently. www.repeatfanzine.bandcamp.com

Loves: Idles – ‘Brutalism’ Bury St Edmunds #RockCity (and Sugar Town records) International Blue Tories eating themselves Superglu at Washing Machine You Flexi Things SIAH and Saltfen, Beverley Kills and The Baby Seals Relevant Records The Graffiti on Gilbert Rd – JC for PM / I “heart” Catalonia‘ Flawed Is Beautiful’ – These Animal Men / S*M*A*S*H DVD Desperate Journalist – ‘Grow Up’ Introducing ten year old punks on stage (Sound Wave) Vinyl Joanna Gruesome Hardcore Hobbies Strongbow Gaffa Tape Sandy green vinyl The A14 The Batts’ debut EP Finally seeing The Skids live, 40 years on at Cambridge Junction Jeremy Corbyn – kids singing for him at gigs, millions voting for him at the polls, Tories running from him, despite the shit spreaders Badges Badgers My new and lovely red 'entry level' turntable Damage and Joy Janet Street Slaughter Vanilla Coffee Leon Britton (the footballer not the politician) S*M*A*S*H at The Portland Arms Spiders God's Favourite Band Swansea Bay The Virtues at Washing Machine Goldblume

Hates: Lists Football Lads Alliance Retweets of Fascists by fingers on buttons The job you hate but are too scared to pack in Hedge Funds wrecking our clubs The A14 Punctures POP STARS and anyone else without an opinion Fancy cider Punk rock nostalgia Originality Handwriting

SEYMOUR QUIGLEY

B-Side news editor; Washing Machine operator. www.washingmachinebse.co.uk

Albums of the Year: The Baby Seals - ‘The Baby Seals’; Gaffa Tape Sandy - ‘Spring Killing’; Slowdive - ‘Slowdive’; Underworld - ‘Beaucoup Fish’ (re-mastered); Janet Street Slaughter - ‘Janet Street Slaughter’.

Tracks of the Year: Fightmilk - ‘Pity Party’; Gaffa Tape Sandy - ‘Beehive’; Songhoy Blues - ‘Bamako’; Charlotte Gainsbourg - ‘Deadly Valentine’; Bicep - ‘Glue’; Blue Mean Eyes - ‘Escapade’; Desperate Journalist - ‘Hollow’; Goat Girl - ‘Cracker Drool’.

Gigs of the Year: Desperate Journalist at the John Peel Centre, Stowmarket, February; SuperGlu at Bury Fringe Festival, May; Ryan Jordan at The Rehearsal Rooms, Bury St Edmunds, November; Gaffa Tape Sandy at The Hunter Club, Bury St Edmunds, December.

Moments of the Year: Playing 'What I'd Do' at [former band] Horse Party's final gig, at The Hunter Club in April - still not sure how I managed not to weep the tears of horrible sadness.

Tips for 2018: I’m really excited about Sun Scream, The Glitter Shop and Lemondaze. If Slowcoaches release a new album, I will be so so happy. Also: Grimes.

SIMON BAKER

Green Mind’s perennial thrill-monger. www.greenmind.co.uk

Album of the Year: Waxahatchee – ‘Out In The Storm’. Lyrically superb demolition of an abusive relationship coupled with some of the best indie rock I’ve ever heard. So many hooks.

Tracks of the Year: The whole of ‘Out In The Storm’.

Gigs of the Year: Too many to mention, but here’s a short list: Melt Banana at London Highbury Garage – always earshredding and just incredibly fun.

The Jesus & Mary Chain at Cambridge Junction – one of mine and a show I’m incredibly proud of. Bucket list band, coupled with an “all killer, no filler” set list. Nearly exploded when the really chiming bit in ‘Some Candy Talking’ kicked in.

Waxahatchee at End Of The Road – horrible rain all day, but they managed to cut through the rain and were essential.

Car Seat Headrest at End Of The Road – “KILLER WHAAAAALE, KILLER WHAAAALLE!”

Idles – superb live band, but I put them on twice while I was dealing with a recurrent brain condition, so never saw a whole set due to being tired all the time. I need to rectify this in 2018.

Fickle Friends at Junction 2 – straight up pop band with no pretensions. Seeing 350 kids having a brilliant and unpretentious time made this jaded old bastard smile.

Tips for 2018: Idles are clearly going to be the band of 2018. There are so many tedious trench coat wearing post-punk revivalists and Idles just destroy all of them, by being wittier, cleverer and funnier and having their own ideas.

SIMON DROWNER

Desperate Journalist mover, shaker and bass-wielding groove-maker. www.desperatejournalist.co.uk

Albums of the Year: Peter Perrett - ‘How The West Was Won’; LCD Soundsystem - ‘American Dream’; Dexy - ‘Tear It Down’; IDLES - ‘Brutalism’; Moon Duo - ‘Occult Architechture Vol. 1’.

Tracks of the Year: Makthaverskan - ‘In My Dreams’; FEWS - ‘LaGuardia’; Sheer Mag - ‘Just Can't Get Enough’; Ride - ‘Charm Assault’; British Sea Power - ‘Bad Bohemian’.

Gigs of the Year: LCD Soundsystem at Alexandra Palace; Paul Draper at Scala; Ezra Furman at The Barbican; Peter Perrett at The Electric Ballroom; Moonlandingz at The 100 Club.

Moments of the Year: Desperate Journalist playing Scala. Releasing, and eventually selling out of, our album ‘Grow Up’ on vinyl. When the General Election exit poll results came in and half the country (and media) had egg on their faces.

Tips for 2018: Calva Louise, Gaffa Tape Sandy, Bad Nerves, White Trash.

SOPHIE MAHON

Your new BF. www.soundcloud.com/sophie-mahon

Albums of the Year: One which deserves a mention is an instrumental album by one of my bucket list session musicians. Admittedly I don’t normally go for instrumental albums but ‘Trigger’ by Jacob ‘Quist’ Quistgaard is fun and good for when you don’t know what lyrics you need to hear. An album I only discovered this year after reading Nile Rodger’s autobiography is his solo album ‘Adventures In The Land Of The Good Groove’. Yes, it was made in 1983, but it’s Nile experimenting at his peak. David Bowie liked it so I think it deserves a mention.

Tracks of the Year: These questions are much harder to answer than I thought! I’m quite fond of Tears For Fears recent single ‘I Love You But I’m Lost’, very catchy chorus; you’ll wake up at two in the morning with it on your brain. Bryan Ferry’s jazz reworking of his songs for the German TV series ‘Babylon Berlin’ are beautiful (a continuation from his album The Jazz Age’ if you’re interested), particularly ‘Bittersweet’, which he recorded new vocals for too. The song becomes ten times darker, melancholy and weary; I had to listen to it on repeat for at least an hour. Lastly an old track, which I discovered recently, is Etta James’s cover of ‘It’s Alright’ by Curtis Mayfield. The snare is like machine gun fire; give it a listen, that’s all I’ll say.

Gigs of the Year: Chic at The BBC, ABC with Kid Creole and The Coconuts as support and Bryan Ferry at Hampton Court. So much I could say about these, but all it boils down to is that they’re legends for a reason, which is why I will always try to see them whenever possible.For my own gigs, playing The Hunter Club for the first time was awesome - such a great crowd and the first time I have seen strangers dancing to my music, which has always been my aim so it felt great. The second would be playing the Inbetweeners Stage at Latitude - while neither the stage nor the audience were massive, just to be part of something so big was incredible.Actually another band to mention was Divine Comedy, they were at Latitude and I went to watch because they were the only band on that day that I vaguely knew. Best decision I ever made, Neil Hannon is eccentrically English [Actually he’s Irish, but you wouldn’t know it from his singing voice - Lineage Ed.], his lyrics are witty and clever and the performance was so light hearted it made a nice change. I didn’t stop listening to his music for about two months afterwards.

Moments of the Year: Releasing my first single ‘2BF’ and it getting played on BBC Introducing in Suffolk, bit daunting but the feedback on the whole has been pretty positive, thanks to everyone who liked it.Tony Hadley leaving Spandau Ballet; I am still upset.

Tips for 2018: Start as you mean to go on; I live by this and it seems to be working so far. Also just do what makes you happy, the music, image, brand and performance will naturally be more genuine and original, plus you feel happy too. Finally, invest in a bigger car - there is, I find, only so much you can fit in a Ford KA. Or go acoustic; it’ll fit in nicely.

THOM LONGDIN & JADE ASHLEIGH SQUIRES

Together, they are Kulk. www.kulk.bandcamp.com

Albums of the Year: One of our albums of the year is Ty Segall’s self titled album. We discovered Ty through the band Fuzz (who encouraged the purchase of the Fuzz War guitar pedal, which has been a huge impact on our sound). We bought the album as it was engineered by Steve Albini and has a classic rock and roll/garage fuzz feel. Well worth a listen, especially ‘Break A Guitar’. Our other album of the year would be Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile’s ‘Lotta Sea Lice’, this is their first collaboration of hopefully many. This is on the lighter side of our listening, but is poetic and beautifully bluesy. Highlights of this album include ‘Over Everything’ and ‘Untogether’ .

Tracks of the Year: Our first track of the year is ‘Tasteless’ by Shame. We first discovered Shame supporting Slaves; their sound is best described as indie but in a punk way, the music is heavy and the lyrics are angry but not distorted. If you like ‘Tasteless’ you will love ‘Gold Hole’ and ‘Concrete’. We are also huge fans of Sunflower Bean, so naturally their new single ‘I Was A Fool’ would be on this list. This song is a homage to classic rock with still a hint of psychedelia from their previous album sound. We look forward to this new album next year and seeing them live again.

Gigs of the Year: Our best gig of 2017, which could possibly be the best gig of our lives so far, would have to be in Brixton on Hallowe’en this year: Melvins and Red Kross. Melvins are an inspiration to our music and it was amazing to see them live, with an even heavier sound than on record. For us, the highlight was ‘The Bit’. They’re a must-see for any heavy music fan. The Wytches at Norwich Waterfront studio was another best gig of 2017: the psychedelic riffs and heavy drums with the grit of Christian Bell’s vocals makes for an amazing live show. Their cover of Misfits ‘Cough/Cool’ (from their home recordings) live was particularly exciting. Their support acts - We’ll Be Detectives and The Weirds - created a great sense of what was to come.

Moments of the Year: One of our best moments was our first gig, at The Smokehouse Ipswich, which we organised with our friends Con Party and Jessie Ingate. The night was terrifying but it was amazing to play amongst friends for the first time. We were also amazed after being asked by John Peel’s wife, Sheila, to play on BBC Radio Suffolk for the unveiling of John’s BBC Music Day Blue Plaque award - it was a huge opportunity and we really enjoyed every moment. One of our biggest achievements this year would be the amount of awareness and money raised for the mental health charity Mind, through a gig we organised at The Smokehouse and an online campaign supported by the East Anglian Daily Times, in tribute to our friend Cameron Ray. It was co-organised with Cameron’s friend and celebrated his life through the connection we had with him through music. This moment sadly came from tragedy but it was everyone coming together that made it special. Finally, re-recording our first single with Jamie Robertson has been a massive highlight of the year, the whole process has been great and Jamie has really helped us create something that sounds like it should. When we met Jamie for drinks to discuss the recording it was high on the list that it sounded like “you are in the room with us and can’t get out”, and he has done us proud. It’s very likely that we’ll be able to release it early 2018.

Tips for 2018: We’ve decided to direct our tips at people who want to start bands and want to start gigging: 1. If you want a start a band but there’s only you and a mate who plays bass, go for it and jam together. Basically, start a band with what you’ve got not what you want. Even if you’re not Grade 8, if it sounds good to you it will to others. 2. One of the best tips we can give if you want to start gigging is to support local artists and go to gigs. Enjoy local music and it won’t be so scary to become part of it. Support the scene and it will support you. Speak to people and don’t be afraid to send promoters your stuff. 3. The most important tip of all is keep playing, even if you only have three songs. You want to be able to play them backwards with your eyes closed. Make the most of the one song support at your local pub, no gig is beneath you.

ZAK WHITTAKER

Drum punisher, Clown Smash Everything/Janet Street Slaughter. www.clownsmasheverything.com

Albums of the Year: My album of the year is Slowdive's self-titled comeback, followed closely by ‘Stubborn Persistent Illusions’ by Do Make Say Think and Von Spar's 'Garzweiler' EP.

Tracks of the Year: My tracks of the year are 'Anthem For No State (Pts 1-3)' by Godspeed You! Black Emperor, 'No Longer Making Time' by Slowdive, and a special mention to the 3 unreleased gems that cropped up on Radiohead's 'OK Computer' reissue.

Gig of the Year: Best gig has to be Shellac at London’s Electric Ballroom back in October. Also, I almost forgot about Part Chimp's triumphant and deafening live return at Cambridge's Portland Arms in April.

Moment of the Year: My moment of the year: Probably Theo (Morris, former Janet Street Slaughter guitarist) spectacularly stacking it off the stage at the final JSS gig in November!

ZOE KENT

F.O.X’s singing stadium superstar. www.foxtheband.com

Album of the Year: Lana Del Rey - ‘Lust For Life’. I love everything she does, her voice is so haunting and powerful and I love the visions she creates in her lyrics of broken surburbia. Always takes me somewhere else.

Tracks of the Year: ‘Cover Me’ by Depeche Mode. The first time I heard this song it was like a lightning bolt, I always knew it was incredibly powerful and then when we supported them on tour it became almost their new anthem. A song of two halves. It's beautiful.

Gigs of the Year: It has to be Depeche Mode in Bucharest: it was the most beautiful stadium and the most perfect day. I've never seen them so on fire as I did there, the energy could be felt the entire way round the stadium and I just watched in in awe of it all. I'll never forget the thousands of lighters and phones lighting up the stadium - magical!

Moments of the Year: When we were invited to fly with Depeche Mode on their private jet to Leipzig. It was a true rockstar moment and I totally forgot my fear of flying!

Tips for 2018: My tip would be Amethysts, from Suffolk. I think they've got great songs and star potential - plus they're very nice people.

Click here to read Part One, featuring SuperGlu, Gaffa Tape Sandy, The State, The Glitter Shop, Blue Mean Eyes, Sun Scream, Young States, Lemondaze, Druids, Italian Books and more!

Words & Collage: Seymour Quigley

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the-roanoke-society · 6 years

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So uh....I know this might not be the easiest but how about that trip to hell via the gate??

i’m guessing you’re talking about nova and seraphim’s first mission!

step right up–this one’s a bit of a doozy. and decidedly lacking in the aesthetics i had in mind when i first started it and morphed into something wildly different… hopefully the disappointment is more of a dull ache and less of a shooting pain. 

there are also depictions of body trauma and other violence below the cut. proceed with caution.

“lillith gave me a briefing on the way down here but uhm–run it by me one more time.”

seraphim grinned, slipping on her forearm guard. she began, reaching up to adjust the goggles over nova’s eyes, “this particular part of the underworld is, to us, gate point seveny-nine point three. it’s not a part of our hell, per se, but it’s–look, it’s close, hit me up on a day off and i’ll explain the finer theological points. our job today!” seraphim pivoted on a heel, grabbing her bottle of body armor and swallowing the last of it with a backwards tilt of her head, “is to go free the prince. name’s kreuger. not a bad–uhh. well he’s not as bad as who’s overthrown him.”

nova swallowed, shifting. the armor was heavier than she anticipated, but lighter, all at once. not something she’d worn before on any previous run. it was a blood-rust red, matte finished, and was more streamlined than bulky. she figured it was because they’d have to be stealthy. move quickly. move unseen. the only thing heavier were the pistols that hung on their hips,fueled by a cell pack that gave off a faint green glow. 

she also remembered drake and wyvern positively beaming the day before over the tech that currently cloaked their frames. “the place you’re headed’s not exactly human-friendly. think the mojave with a little more punch and a lot more poison. this–” wyvern tapped on the outer shell. “–will protect your skin, help regulate your temperatures so you don’t get overheated.”

“and this,” drake took the liberty of lifting a mask to his face, “will help you breathe. we’ve got goggles to match for eye safety ‘cause gettin’ ocular degeneration over a period of ten minutes once you get back is a mega bummer.”

“don’t you mean macular?”

“nah, this shit’s a lot worse, we gave it a new name.”

“oh.”

but seraphim’s gentle touch on her elbow brought her back. “it’s okay to still be nervous. from what i’ve heard, every time feels like the first time for the few couple of months that you’re jumping. but you’re with me, and lillith wouldn’t send me in with a rookie if she didn’t think you could handle it, which means i already think you’re a badass. we just have to work together, okay?”

nova smiled at the other agent’s earnest expression. she couldn’t help it.  

this was an adventure that she’d been wishing for, for a long time.

“let’s go take ass and kick names. … wait.”

“close enough!” seraphim laughed as they walked towards the gate, glowing a faint blue around the outer rings. someone had put down stage tape at their mark. it clashed with the long, red rug that rolled out beneath the gate to the doorway.  

“final safety check, equipment secure?” nova noticed wyvern’s voice had dropped a pitch. maybe this was his proper officer tone. she pushed down on her mask, her goggles, taking deep, deep breaths.  

“equipment secure,” she answered him, turning back to meet his eyes at the console at the other end of the room.

“copy. initiating travel sequence. please remain still.”

(”dude we’re not talking over radio, do you still have to say ‘copy’?” “drake shut up!”)

and it sparked. that was the best way nova could think to describe it, even now. like seeing a heart pulsed back from the dead. then the tendrils of white light that branched out from the inner ring, like tentacles looking for each other, right up until they snapped forward, wrapping around the two of them. their feet remained rooted to the floor as they were surrounded by light, and then eventually, lifted.

everything was perfectly silently. that was the barrier building. all of the tethers tying them to their home timeline being carefully snipped, so they could be pulled in. nova glanced at seraphim, who just gave her a swift thumbs up, before there was a violent snap; to drake and wyvern: they were just gone.

but nova and seraphim landed roughly on their feet on rock that looked a bit too much like freeze-dried… well. nova picked her eyes up as soon as she could. didn’t want to look at it. her stomach caught. deep breaths, deep breaths, you’re fine, you’re fine…

but seraphim was hunched over, her breathing sort of staggered, just like hers was. “jeremy, do you have our signal?” her voice was a little weak, hoarse. a little muffled because of the mask. “… good. we’ll signal when we’re ready to be brought back. copy. … and remember to record the thunder game while i’m gone, i think we play los angeles or something. copy for real this time… hey, see, you made it!”

nova just stretched out an arm, which seraphim took, helping her take a few adjustment steps forward. and as nova walked, she was able to take in the landscape that surrounded them–and that seraphim’s gait was a bit stilted.

wasteland. that was the first thing she thought of. a sky the color of a rotted bone. mountains in the distance that weren’t wounded-colored but rather more like aged, rotted wood, jutting up from the cracked, jagged ground. something was coming down from the sky like a faint, soft snow. it was grey. and definitely wasn’t snow.

beyond everything was a faint red glow. like they were standing in a volcano’s mouth, and the rim was wide, wide around them. 

“have you been here before?” nova asked, her tone hushed. the space here was oppressive, closing in, heavy. sort of like a sauna set too high, even with the armor. there was a beat before seraphim answered her.

“… a few times. i wouldn’t say i’ve been through the gate often, but i’ve been often enough to know that i really dislike being brought to places like this, and enough to know i really want us to go to gate point nintey-three point one after this. it’s a wonderful kingdom, el. haven’t been in a while. hope the princess is all right, she said something about a man named ganon before i left last...” her voice seemed to trail off for a second, before she coughed, shaking her head. “not sure why lillith keeps bringing me here. i’m not a prime candidate for jumping. … not like you.”

“not like me?”

the goggles were so reflective that all nova could see when she looked at seraphim’s face was either mask or a reflection of an alien horizon. an unholy horizon. “i may or may not have looked over your file before this. you have… i can’t remember the specific words they used. but you have something in you that makes you an absolute fit for this role. i’d called it god-crafted. a gift from the spirit. other people would call it other shit. but i said what i said.” seraphim nodded, like she was adding emphasis, before turning her face to look at the landscape. “okay. they sealed kreuger underneath the end of the palace–”

“the palace? hell has palaces?”

“my sweet little chicken nugget, all underworlds have more than we’ve been told. and to answer that question, yes. like… c’mere, look, look…” seraphim beckoned her over to a ragged cliff, which overlooked a valley that seemed to stretch on for eternity.

it was like a cradle full of darkness. the only light that existed seemed to be that of fires, torches. candles.

and in the center rose up something that towered over everything, something that–reminded her a lot of maleficent’s castle from sleeping beauty. weird.  

“that’s where we need to go. if i remember from the last time i was here, i know a shortcut we can take, we just have to stay low and stick together. you good? … awesome. follow me. keep your eyes peeled. we don’t want to fire unless we absolutely have to, it’ll draw attention to us that, trust me, nobody will want. “

* * *

it still took them hours to reach the palace. hiking through the worst kind of desert, dodging rogue demonic entities, hiding. seraphim discovered that their armor had built-in cloaking (”were you going to fucking brief us on this or did you just forget?” “… uhm.”) which made it infinitely easier.

it took nova–well, to be fair, she still hadn’t quite gotten over how they all looked. and none of them were the same. each demon was fairly humanoid in shape… except for when they weren’t. and each one had viscera showing where a body part was missing… except when they didn’t, and then proceeded to have way too many eyes or mouths or teeth than any being anywhere had the business of having. and the sounds they made when they walked. if she wasn’t going to ask cherub for something for her bath before… 

“think dinosaur rules,” seraphim had whispered over her shoulder, crouched behind the corner of what nova thought looked a little like an adobe house (not even the ability to become invisible could quite break her out of sneaking behind everything). in fact a lot of the aesthetics of the city–could she call it a city?–reminded her a lot of taos, jemez springs. new mexico. “if they don’t see movement, they don’t see anything.”

“wait, didn’t someone disprove that?”

“lucky for us nobody told these assholes.”

as they snuck further and further into the heart of the metropolis, the aesthetics seem to… shift. from rustic adobe to more alhambra. if she could easily pick out things from her own world to compare all this too, then surely, it was tied to earth somehow, right? “uh, morgan…” nova began. she kept close to her side. the alleyway they were walking down was vacant. seraphim took the opportunity to stretch her neck, roll her shoulders.

“this place looks a lot like this catle in granada…”

“that’s because it–sort of is.”

and there was a bit of silence before: “… i’m guessing i should wait until we get back before i lay into you with questions about how the fuck that’s possible and what the hell that even means.”

“first bath, then a nap, and then i know this great brunch place not too far from the estate, i promise i’ll tell you everyt-!” her voice cut out abruptly and one of her arms shot out in front of nova, pressing her against a wall as something huge, hulking and smoking lurched in front of the opening of the alleyway. seraphim let out a long, shaky exhale.  

“the only place worse than this is centralia…”

“where?”

“put it on our list of sleepover topics. it’s gonna be long. this place tends to do that. although it’s honestly not that hard to sneak through as long as you’re careful and you’ve got the right tech. you just gotta be smart.”

they both carefully started towards the end of the alley, sticking close to the wall. nova thought she could smell something… it wasn’t brimstone, not quite. but close. just as unpleasant. “speaking from experience?” it came out before she could stop it.  

seraphim didn’t answer until they reached the end, motioning for nova to look upwards. the spire of the tallest tower looked a lot closer than it had an hour ago. they were getting close. “… yes. once. once is all it takes for you to learn. i had amy tattoo my left calf for a reason.” 

* * *

it was only when they reached the actual outer wall separating the palace from the rest of the city did the vibe turn a bit more–gothic was an apt descriptor. the spanish vibes gave way to something more once upon a time, something more disney, and somehow it was worse than what they’d walked through. a glossy surface trying too hard to be romantic hiding something insidious underneath, like organs wrapped in plastic wrap.

there were vines of roses along the upper edge of the wall with thorns the length of nova’s palm.

seraphim stared up at the blossoms, “okay. climbing over the wall is a no-go. each of those packs enough poison to kill something three times our size. the front main gate in and out has about sixteen different layers of wards on it and as much as i love our basement boys, i don’t exactly trust their cloaking shields to withstand that this close to the throne room…” seraphim started taking one step, then another, eyes on the flowers, lost in thought.

and nova was, too, up until she remembered: “oh! wait, i have an idea.” she unclipped a small box the color of gunmetal from her belt over one of her back pockets. “i’ve been helping jeremy and joseph with this. we’ve had a few successful test runs, and i think now would be a good time to give it an actual field test.”

“well, shit, okay, you thought of an idea first so we’ll go with that. uh–what is it?”

and nova actually swayed a bit, like an excited child. “i’ll show you. but first, you have to tell me… if you could make a hole anywhere in the wall, where would be the best place?”

that was about the time that they heard shouting, too close to be comfortable. it was in a tongue deep, guttural, with a lot of clicking interspersed. “definitely not here. c’mon, i think i know just the spot.”

after about fifteen minutes of fast-paced creeping, seraphim stopped. nova could see the roof of something like a shack over the roses, which she no longer doubted were circling the entire place. “just on the other side of this wall is a part of the chambers for the staff. i’m positive that he’s under that, and that there’s gotta be a way down there. i don’t think they’d let him starve to death, he’s too useful alive.”

“awesome. okay, stand back, calibrating this is a bit tricky…” seraphim took a few wide strides backwards as nova tucked the nondescript box into the crook of her elbow, but quickly jumped when she realized the agent was doing so to remove her glove.  

“ellie, wait, no no no–”

“i have to have skin-contact in order to activate it, i promise i’ll hurry. call it a sacrifice for the mission.”

as soon as the glove left her hand she very immediately realized that she wouldn’t have a choice. she’d been expecting a burning sensation, and that’s exactly what she got, but it still sort of took her breath away, for the first few seconds. it felt like something that you could almost get used to, if given enough time. almost. seraphim’s own covered hands went to the sides of her face. “oh jesus, okay, go do your thing sugar–”

with her thumb on the top of the box, and with her jaw clenched trying to fight through the persistent stinging, she traced a well-practiced pattern. for a moment, nothing happened. then from the end of the box shot out a circle of light, that landed on the wall in a perfect oval, like an outline. 

“oh it’s so pre–”

seraphim didn’t get to finish. there was a sound like a large rubbing band being strung, almost like a bass guitar strum–and there was a perfectly cut hole in the wall.

 nova was struggling to put her glove back on so she didn’t quite notice how seraphim had thrown her arms out and was just wildly gesturing to nova, to the wall, back to nova, back to the wall, “what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck. oh my god. that was awesome. holy shit. what the fuck did you just do. i just. oh my god. oh my god let’s go i have so many questions when we get back–oh. ellie, you all right?”

she was taking in breaths through her teeth, cradling her hand against her chest. “yeah. yeah. just feels like a really really re-he-eally bad sunburn.”

“well hang in there starkid, as soon as we find kreuger, he can take care of the rest himself. and ah, we won’t want to be here when that happens anyway. pray that nobody’s in here.” she brought up her pistol, “i know i said no firing, but–wait, was that your trigger hand?”

“uh–yeah.”

seraphim took the liberty of taking nova’s pistol of its holster and putting it in her uninjured hand. “as long as you don’t shoot me, this’ll probably work. probably. okay…” her voice lowered. “team break.”

* * *

lillith must have timed their jump on purpose, seraphim reasoned, or had some kind of premonition about how long it would’ve taken them to get to the castle, because right as she pushed open the shack door, there was a single, long gong from far above them. “what was that?” nova couldn’t get above a whisper.  

“given that no one’s in here, i think it’s a feasting hour. all the help’s off serving that absolute fucking batshit son of a--” a huff. “we need to hurry and take advantage of this while we still can. the servants here are the only creatures i pity. … well. they’re at least on the top five.”

nova could see why. the room was rotting away in places, black, black, blacker, an absolute absence of color amidst what looked like concrete and wood. two sets of bunk beds, and the word ‘bed’ was generous. more like just four stone slabs large enough for an adult human attached at different heights to the wall. and that was all, except for a scrap of off-white fabric on the floor.

“but where do they go to the b–”

“trust me, you don’t want to know.” seraphim interrupted, peeling back the rug to reveal a trap door. she sighed, “i know this is the right way, but this seems too easy… you got us through the wall, i’ll be body insurance going downstairs, deal? cool.” she lifted the heavy door, grunting under the weight, revealing a very narrow stairwell that looked like it was carved out of brick. there was a dim light coming from somewhere they couldn’t see, just enough to make the stair landing visible. seraphim shook her hands, taking a deep breath. “here goes nothin’, wish me luck.”

she didn’t get very far.

seraphim put one leg out in space, aiming to awkwardly go down the steps, when her leg jerked hard to one side. she swore under her breath and grabbed nova’s arm, quickly pulling herself up to sit on the floor.

she had a needle roughly the same thickness as a knitting needle shoved through the top of her boot. blood was beginning to ooze from the wounds. “ohhhhkay. i don’t know what else i was expecting.”

“morgan–”

“this is fine.”

“morgan.”

“this is okay.”

“do we leave it in?”

seraphim swore again, this time with a little more enunciation. “no. i don’t know what this is made of and now it’s currently inside of me, so we’re just going to uhm–ellie you have to do it.”

“what?”

“ellie i can’t pull this out you have to do it, you gotta not hesitate and just go for it, i don’t have the g–FUCK.” nova wrapped a hand around one end of the needle and jerked it clean in the middle of seraphim’s rambling, replacing it as quickly as she could with her hands, adding pressure. there were a few moments where the only sound was seraphim’s ragged breathing, which eventually calmed, as she braced her foot against the opening to the basement. safe in nova’s hands. “… thank you.”

“don’t mention it… but what do we do now? is the entire area down there going to be like that?”

seraphim sighed. “probably. and we could stop and look for the way that the help disarms the hallway, or we could do it my way, which will take a lot less time…” she awkwardly shifted up into a squatting position on the floor, staring down into the dark. “and because we did the right thing and properly hydrated before the jump, i should be able to do this even with my gloves on… just gotta focus for a sec…”

seraphim took one huge breath in, and out. ignore the pain. ignore it. we’ll deal with it later.

she held her palm out flat, and then lifted it. as she did, spots all along what they could see of the lower level glowed a faint lavender shade.  

nova’s eyes widened. were… were those all the traps that had been set?

seraphim raised her other hand, and tried to snap her fingers. no dice. she hissed, making an abrupt fist.

what followed was a soft cacophony of things breaking, falling, or shattering.

“morgan that was–oh!”

seraphim had yanked her mask down in time to vomit violently off to the side, rib cage moving erratically underneath her armor. it honestly didn’t make the room smell that much worse. 

“are you–?”

“yeah, just uh–don’t ask me to do anything like that again for a few hours.”

“that was… amazing.”

seraphim threw her head back, laughing roughly. “yeah, we’re both pretty rad, now let’s–let’s go get this fucker so we can go home, i need to go to medical like yesterday.”  

* * *

with the traps disabled, the going down was easy, and straightforward. they crunched over needles, arrows, and metallic shapes as they went. everything around them was like sod, with torches embedded in the walls.  

nova tried not to think about that they looked like arms, eternally smoldering just bright enough to light the way.

“what, no labyrinth of endless twisting hallways? i’m a little disappointed.”

seraphim was trying to not limp but pain spread up her leg with every step she took. shit, shit, shit. she kept glancing to nova’s hand, hoping that she couldn’t see behind her goggles. “for one, they think that the traps will kill or maim anyone not authorized to be down here. for two, if they are authorized to be down here, why waste their time?” their voices were quiet. they hadn’t seen anyone else down here, but…

the torches stopped. and there was a long stretch of darkness before they came to another pair. nova grabbed a hold of seraphim’s arm, and she let her keep it there, up until they entered the rim of a dim glow by a wall of bars.

a cell.

“kreuger.” seraphim began, gently. “… kreuger.”

“hush–exorcist.” nova’s grip on seraphim tightened as he spoke. she had to twist back when she realized she’d almost buried her face in seraphim’s shoulder out of some kind of reflex. he sounded like… the buzzing of bees, the low growl of a monster, with a canyon beneath all of it. she hated it. “i hear you… who is this? this is not john.”

“no. it’s not. enoch has… left our little club, since we last saw each other.”  

as seraphim spoke, voice laced with pain, kreuger stepped up to the light, although nova could see the backlight, inhuman reflection of his eyes before he got close to them. she wished he’d stayed away.

he did look human. almost. limbs a little too long, face a little too angular. his eyes were a solid pink, no pupils to speak of (where did the reflection come from, where did it come from?). he had horns, like a ram, that rose up and wrapped around his pointed ears in a tight spiral.  

he… was hunched over. nova felt a little bad for him, then. somewhere in her chest. like you’d pity a vulture in a cage too small.

“good. i hated him.”

“you hate everyone, kreuger.”

“oh, now, dear lady morgana, be kind. i tolerate you, do i not?”

“you’re going to do more than tolerate me here in a second, we’re here to bust you out.”

“… bust me…?” but seraphim was too busy digging into a pocket by her kneecap, pulling out a small bottle. it was crystalline, marked with a cross. holy water. kreuger’s eyes widened in what might have been surprise. “… you are releasing me.”

“psellus is not the rightful ruler of this place. you are. and i don’t know the intimate details of the politics of this fucking shitshow but you can be damned sure that where we’re from we greatly prefer lawful evil to complete, uncontrollable chaos. now if you give me one second–” seraphim uncorked the bottle and kreuger quickly recoiled back away from his bars; the senior agent hobbled along the length of his cell wall. the metal seemed to dissolve as soon as the water hit it, and then there was nothing.

nova became very acutely aware that she was standing in the same room with what was essentially a demon king.

  this was going to make a good story someday.  

but as he started to walk forward, there was clanking. “… shit. water can’t cut through that.”

kreuger stood to his full height as soon as he passed where his threshold had been. he was easily seven feet tall, and dressed all in black, in–a suit. this guy had a taste for aesthetics, nova would give him that.  

“everything in me is suppressed because of these chains. i do not know where psellus found them…” he had thick, chain link cuffs on both his wrists and around his ankles. it reminded nova of the same stone she’d seen on the ground where they had landed. they were massive. probably needed to be. her heart was in her throat.

“ellie, you still have your box from earlier?”

oh no.

“y-yes.”

kreuger smiled and revealed a mouth full of knives. well, fangs, but they looked like knives, for all intents and purposes. “oh how adorable! and she smells so good…”  

“can you focus that circle into a point? that circle you made?” seraphim tried to make her voice as solid, as reassuring, as possible. because now nova was staring up at kreuger’s face and maybe trembling, and-well.  

now she’d really see what she was made of.

“we–i can. yes.”

“okay. kreuger, you stay still, spread out like this. ellie, focus that thing to a point and cut through his chains.”

“you–you can’t magic them apart? like the traps?”

“oh that was you? excellent work, exorcist.”

“–thank you, your highness. and no, el, i can’t. that level of tinkering–if i tried that again this quickly there’s a good chance i’d rupture an organ. i’ve had lots of practice but there are still things i’m not able to do, not yet. ellie, look at me. … kreuger is not going to hurt you.” her face went to the king himself. “he needs us, and knows exactly what’ll happen if we don’t come home.”

“mmm, yes. how is our dear lillith.”

“she’s fine. ellie, if you would.” she stepped closer to her, muttering by her face. “i know that you’ve already burned your hand once today, do you think you can push through and do it again? if you don’t, then you’ll have to tell me how to do it.”

“no–no. i can do it.”

kreuger assumed a strange position, wrists and ankles spread apart. his gaze made nova feel naked in the worst way.  

and seraphim watched with not a small amount of pure, unadulterated admiration as ellie readied the box, and removed her glove. she was even brave enough to glance at his face once.  

“ready?”

“ready, little solider.”

solider. strange.

and it may have been to comfort her, or it may have been a warning, looking back, but as nova traced a different pattern over the top of the box–her skin feeling like it was being cut a centimeter at a time--kreuger began to talk to seraphim.

“oh lady, tell me–how has your spine been lately?”

“fine, besides the usual. why?”

“oh, no reason. i just know you wish for a certain thing.”

a heavy sigh. “not this again–”

“and you’ll get it. after… a few trials.”

another strum, like before.

kreuger was unbound.

and as soon as he was, the hallway positively lit up. the torches’ light was amplified as kreuger drew in a breath too big for human lungs, and a pair of wings, that hadn’t been there before, stretched and touched the walls with their span. “… thank you. darling little solder. darling little exorcist. i fear i am in your debt. tell me, how can i repay your kindness pending the slaughter of half of my kingdom?”

nova’s hands shook as she clipped the box back onto her belt, and she tried to focus on being able to tell wyvern and mothman how it preformed afield.

seraphim began, “we’ll call you. for now, we just need to get back to our land point so our crew can get us back.”

“oh, allow me.” without warning, kreuger put his hands on their backs, reaching around them. his limbs seem to elongate, to stretch, and nova thought to herself, hm, that’s strange, i’ve never had a hand on my back that was the entire length of my spine before.

seraphim tried to stop him, in her defense. “wait, no, kreuger, if you push us through then we’ll–”

too late.  

drake, wyvern and longma let out high-pitched shrieks as seraphim and nova were launched, unannounced, from the gate’s mouth. they landed roughly on the carpet, hacking, grasping at their masks and goggles to breathe air natural and familiar to the lining of their lungs.

“holy shit! are you guys okay? what happened?”

nova blinked at the sight of the three faces looking down at her. she smiled to the tune of seraphim’s voice.

“we fucking saved the world. … also please call karen and aly we need them like, right now.” 

#seraphim speaks #agent nova #agent seraphim #milky way saints #concerning the hellgate #featuring:#a lot of our basement crew like #technical officer drake #technical officer wyvern #technical officer longma #(and a few handles mentioned in passing.)#canon notes #society notes

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