#maya came in with her huge galaxy brain and said | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashlie · 2 years

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New Aegi hug on the anniversary of Ep151 hug and it starts snowing because Symbolism baby!!! 🤗🤗🤗🥰

Didn't Quimchee say she wanted to show how everyone's memories are not 100% reliable due to their own implicit biases and trauma? Thus creating inconsistencies in the flashbacks. I wonder what other purpose Maya's flashback serves. She's the third party in this situation having observed the two of them and will probably play a role in resolving their drama. The thought of Alyssa and Nol both hurting Shinae to protect her kills me!!!! You are galaxy brain girl! 🤯 Yes, I think this recollection will be a huge revelation for Shinae. She's not at fault for putting her trust in others. She can have faith in humanity even if it feels like the world is against her. I think this will help her become the supportive friend she aspires to be. Whatever comes from their exchange, I really want Nol to gain insight from Shinae to never give up hope in the goodness in people Kousuke like Shinae did.

As for Kousuke, my theory is that after the flashback, he will go to the party to talk to Shinae. She called him and we don't know what he said to her regarding Nol. Maybe he wants to make up an explanation. (There's also Rand's speech on TV that may be important storywise for him to watch. Perhaps Rand will reword it to send a message to both him and Nol.) On his way there, I think he will witness them reconciling. It was talked about on twitter that there could be a parallel to the end of Ep18 where Kousuke was watching them exchange phone numbers from a balcony. It would be a really nice touch for the story circle back to the moment when all three of them intertwined their lives together but with Nolan this time instead of Yeonggi.

I definitely wanted to answer this earlier this week before this episode went up but WELP I clearly did not do that lol but bear with me! I loooooooove this ask; you brought up something I LOVE to talk about! (Spoiler alert: I love to talk about everything lmao)

God I forgot Shinae had said she wants to give Nol a hug haha imagine actually getting that wauw! I'm not really holding my breath for it given how things currently are but I would love that. BOOKENDS!!!!! A parting hug and a reunited hug!!!! From rain to snow!!!!!! GOD that's beautiful!

Didn't Quimchee say she wanted to show how everyone's memories are not 100% reliable due to their own implicit biases and trauma?

BINGO BINGO BINGO Even though 197 made me pause and contemplate what I'd written before it came out, I still think this is worth examining, and this goes for all flashbacks. We've seen it most heavily with Nol and Kousuke, of course, where Kousuke's censored Nol's mom in his own memories, and the way Yui appears in Nol's recollection, but yes, I think we are supposed to acknowledge that in all memories or recollections, we are not seeing the whole story, or even necessarily the way things happened. In fact, even after episode 197, I think a lot of this still stands, because something important to glean from Shinae's memories is that what happened with her and Alyssa was not simply between her and Alyssa. There's a number of extenuating circumstances and forces that influence their choices and behavior. If it was solely between Alyssa and Shinae, maybe it would have turned out differently, but given that we know Alyssa is a character with different wants and needs than Shinae, who is affected differently than Shinae by the bullying the image others have created for her, it's no surprise that she makes the choices she does, right? I think you know well enough that when I say this I'm not excusing her behavior, but sometimes I like to reiterate this lol. At the end of the day, Shinae can only remember the way she was influenced and affected; especially if Alyssa isn't forthcoming about things, she's not privy Alyssa's side of the story, to why she did the things she did or made the choices she did. In Shinae's view, it's always going to be something confusing that she didn't quite understand, and may still not understand after all.

Yes, I think this recollection will be a huge revelation for Shinae. She's not at fault for putting her trust in others. She can have faith in humanity even if it feels like the world is against her.

This is what I hope for, as well! One of the most important lessons for Shinae to learn is that no matter how it feels, she is still the one in control of her own life, that she's not fighting against some kind of karmic destiny; the cards are just stacked against her. Because of how Alyssa hurt her, she built these walls and convinced herself that people could only let her down, but even though Nol did let her down, she's also learned that's not true. There are people like Minhyuk and Dieter who have never let her down. There are people like Rika and Maya who let her down but made it up to her and resolved to start over and do better. I think seeing herself in Nol will help her view her past through a new kind of clarity and understanding that she is always responsible for her choices. Does she want to stay locked inside of her self-built prison, to never again give anyone chance and lie to herself all the time again? Or does she want to embrace what she really wants and face her fears? No one can change over night, and Shinae will still take time to grow, but I think - or maybe I just hope - that seeing each other in one and other will help Nol and Shinae climb out of those very deep holes they're currently stuck in.

Tangential, but this is absolutely something I love about Shinae, because once upon a time I also had very similar ideas, though not nearly as deeply rooted. It's so easy to tell yourself that people suck and will always let you down. There's a sort of comfort in it, because once you start to think otherwise, you have to reckon with questions like "If people don't inherently suck, then why did this person hurt me?" which is sometimes even more uncomfortable, right? Shinae has been hurt by a lot of people and acknowledging that they hurt her by choice, not because that's just human nature, can make those instances feel even more painful. But again, that's something I hope she will come away from this flashback with - that even though she's been hurt, there are still those who DON'T want to hurt her, those who will see her for all that she really is. Minhyuk, for instance, is pointedly juxtaposed against Alyssa in that one is willing to throw her under the bus in order to save face and get what she wants and the other is willing to stand up for her despite what others will think of him.

And like you, I want Nol to come to this same conclusion, too - that there are people worth investing in, people worth fighting against the universe for, people worth letting down your guard and sharing a part of your heart. Despite knowing that Soushi is "working for Kousuke", I think it's safe to still say that, like Shinae, Dieter and Soushi have proven to be people who do care about Nol and his friendship, who appreciate what he's done for him, and are willing to fight for him, too. And, yes, I think there's also some kind of hope that one day he and Kousuke can.... reconcile? Make peace is probably the better word lol. Like Nol, Kousuke has been dealt his own circumstances, and I hope that Kousuke will come to see beyond them and maybe, you know, deal with all his trauma lol. I'm really, really looking forward to seeing what comes of their futures, actually.

The thought of Alyssa and Nol both hurting Shinae to protect her kills me!!!!

I find myself already questioning this one, as much as I really want it to be true lol just based on 197 because SIGH Alyssa is Alyssa lol. I think.... there's still two different forces affecting Alyssa and she's trying to control them in her own way but this is something I'll have to come back to again sometime. I think it would be fun if I was on to something, because I do love the idea that in the same way Shinae is a foil to Alyssa regarding their individual relationships with Nol, I'd LOVE to see Nol as a parallel to Alyssa regarding Shinae. We already see hints of it, in which they both have been people to "cause" (used loosely here lol) a fall that resulted in a head injury to Shinae, both having betrayed her trust and affection. I guess if it turns out I'm wrong, then we get to see Nol and Alyssa foiled, in that one made choices for their own benefit and the other made choices for Shinae's benefit? I guess that's something we'll have to revisit one day!

I know it's very naive of me, but I'm constantly hoping there's more to Alyssa and Shinae's past, because why else would we see it played out in such a long-drawn-out format, when we could have used what we already knew? I guess, again, part of it is illuminating that no situation is as simple as it appears - that Alyssa is pitted with what she wants against what she has, and that she makes choices based on those external factors, like validation and how others perceive her, compared to someone like Shinae who has learned that she'd rather have a real friend that someone who fakes it. But... idk. I guess I'm constantly holding out hope there's something more, and I feel like the implications of the bullying in 196 DO give us a little more insight to things. Maybe that's the straw that broke the camel's back, something she wants to guard so strongly that she snaps and falls apart?

(I think this is a good time to remind us of Alyssa's parallels with Kousuke, how they both reach a point where they can no longer control the narrative and snap, passionately reacting in anger. Alyssa has been cornered and despite doing everything she can to shake this association she was "saddled" with, she's failing to do just that. This is something I think I'll get into in another post, but essentially, I think we're seeing that Alyssa was driven into a corner and behaved much like Kousuke does when he's also driven into a corner; she found a way to take control her own way, and it bore consequences against others.)

It would be a really nice touch for the story circle back to the moment when all three of them intertwined their lives together but with Nolan this time instead of Yeonggi.

Oh ILOVE this, I love this a lot and I did not even consider it at all lol. Frankly I am not sure what Kousuke is going to get up to, but since Yujing drove them all, it's not like he's going to drive himself back, short of hailing a taxi, which is a possibility! But aaahhh the idea of going ALL THE WAY FULL CIRCLE is !!!!!!!!!! Extremely up my alley lol. Also just RIGHT paralleling the beginning of it all? DELICIOUS!!!!! I've already talked at great length about how this is clearly a new beginning for Nol and Shinae, in that he made his decision to return, that the act of climbing up to meet her is a conscious choice and not for the sake of closure, I'm pretty sure. So the idea of Kousuke seeing them making up (ESPECIALLY now that Shinae knows Kousuke had interfered in their relationship!!!), with Nol truly himself, not a fake version of himself, is absolutely delightful.

I know once upon a time, quim said there was a panel in the first so many episodes of ILY that revealed the relationship between Nol, Kousuke, and Shinae, and it's essentially believed to be one wherein Nol is walking away from everyone and Shinae is being taken away by Kousuke. I wonder if it's likely that what we now get to see is a conscious choice against that - where yes, once upon a time, Yeonggi was someone who walked away from his friends, but now Nol is going to be making his own choices? Again, I have to reiterate that this entire reunion arc doesn't feel like it's simply for closure, otherwise why dedicate so much build up and climax to it, you know? There doesn't feel like an air of finality to it as much as an air of a beginning. One, again, with fewer secrets, no masks, and equal footing. One where maybe this time Kousuke does not hold all the cards, where Shinae is more forthright and assertive, and where Nol, hopefully, is more considerate of his choices?

There's a whole tangent here we could get into about what this means for Kousuke, too - to have less control over the people he's been trying to keep a handle on, in addition to the fact that Nol is facing him more squarely. We already saw at Alyssa's agency's party how very thrown off balance he was by... well, everything lol. I think that's going to be something that affects more than just this moment, but that's something we stand yet to see, I think!

Again, something I continue to reiterate is that I believe this reunion is absolutely setting us up for the dynamics these characters will have when we reach our Big Time Skip, so the idea of this being a bookend to how Nol and Shinae first "became friends" (under the guise of Nol's mask as Yeonggi, never intending to be true friends, watched over by Kousuke) to a true friendship and alliance forming where Kousuke holds less control... POWERFUL. Thank you for bringing that concept to my attention, I'm going to fixate on it all night long now!

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Alyssa Cho #Kousuke Hirahara #i skirted around spoilers again so I don't think this needs a spoiler tag lol #I'm trying to save all my more spoilery thoughts for a better more cohesive post but i'm also like should i just wait for this arc to end?#i think we have one more post to this flashback unless there's any way to stretch out what remains so?#i just have a LOT of thoughts about alyssa and co and i wanna yell about them #but look i just have a lot of thoughts period at any given time so who is really surprised #anyway as always i am a suCKEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR for parallels so THANK YOU for bringing these up to me #PARALELLS. BOOKENDS.#god bookends are especially good because i have never in my life been a crafty enough storyteller to utilize them #just always here screaming into the night about nol and shinae starting over their friendship for real as friends. so good to me

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myfalsedevotion · 2 years

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supposed to be editing huh vicky 🤨🤨🤨 im kidding let's do this 😌 how about 2, 7, 15, 17 & 22! ok that's a lot but i have restrained myself from sending all of them so be proud of me 💙

I'm always proud of you, Maya 💙💙 And yup, I've started the editing process 🤭🤭 (I still am fighting with a couple paragraphs from the end scene, so I decided to start editing and let my brain work it out in the background hahahah)

Let's do this (under the cut so I don't take over people's dashes):

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Okay, this is fun. There's been a couple times. Can't talk about the most recent one before tomorrow, but. In Hourglass. Cashton were never supposed to be a thing. It was a one-sided crush side plot. And then Ashton looked me dead in the eyes and was like "did you really think you could put Calum next to me for an extended period of time being his cute and talented self and I wouldn't develop fEeLiNgS???" so... 😅

Oh, and let's never forget Ashton growing a sudden tragic past when I was writing what I thought would be a fun lil christmass-y one-shot fic that would later be known as All The Hues Of Blue 🤭 He was just "well, you see, I'm a bit broken. So this is not going to be just a fun one-shot. It's going to end up being a huge ass series. You're welcome 💙"

7. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

LUCIFURR. Gosh he's so fun. Although I've never written him, him. Always about other character's perceptions of him hahahah. And, of course, Otto, my beloved 💙 Otto's always a joy to write. Can't wait to write more of him. Eventually. Some day. He's such a sweet character, I can't 🥺

15. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Mayaa, you know the answer to this one 🤭🤭 YES! I'd love to, but. I'd also love to be involved. I have a degree in film, if in this hypothetical world they offered me the chance to work on the script, or helping the casting, or being a part of the creative team? Sign me the fuck up. Athob for example is huge on colour symbolism, I'd absolutely love to explore that in an actual film 😍😍 One can dream hahahahah

17. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

It is the hardest thing sometimes. I spent two months with Hourglass as "Batman fic" on my drafts, trying to look for a title then deciding on using the name I had given the animation studio on it for the title.

For my one-shots, unless I've had a clear direction from the beginning (Kokology), it's been hard. Then they end up being named Crayon Record Store because there was a record store on the fic and since it was Cake I wrote for my best friend's birthday, who I have saved as "Crayon" on my phone –she misspelled crying and wrote crayon once and I will never let her live it down–, well, I just put two and two together.

Then there's All The Hues Of Blue, which working title was "Christmas is all around" up until the moment I was about to post the first chapter, then the title just came to me. Funny thing, because it ended up being the thread that bound together that entire story, part of what gave it meaning. And it just... came to me. And Rare as Gold came to me when I was reading about neutron star collisions and how they're believed to be the origin of all the gold found in our galaxy (at this point I already knew what the last words of ATHOB were, and chose the title for the sequel knowing that). And... it will play a big part on the final scene 🤭

22. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you. or talk about several. seriously, writing is cool. you’re making up whole stories out of your brain, revel in that shit.

Pleasantly surprised me? 🤔🤔 There's been a lot. Of course all the friends I've met through writing, that's the first thing that comes to mind.💙 Even though I don't think that question refers to that, but. It's the most important thing.

Another thing is how writing is such a powerful tool for self-reflection. I literally, subconsciously wrote things into fics over three years ago that I'm only just now picking up on and understanding that say a lot about what I was going through at the time, or about who I am. It's so cool to be rereading something I wrote and then go "...huh." 🤭

#thank you for the asks Maya! this was a nice break from editing 💙#ask games #writing #athob

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