#maybe I’ll just turn it into a still

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[marimbles]

I’m not like other 22 year olds…I’m 29

#technically I’m still 28 but I turn 29 tomorrow 😎 #and you know what? I don’t even think I’ll cry about it this year #I think I’m finally no longer terrified of turning 30 #maybe just a little scared but that’s a big improvement from the time I broke down crying during Taylor swift’s ‘22’ #bc I was so much older than 22. lol #anyway this was very funny to me thank you for that #if I were 22 I’d be born in 2002….I wouldnt even have been alive when shrek came out….wack

[secondstar-acorn]

I’m on s1 ep10 of Gilmore Girls and I’m losing my fucking mind over how in love with Lorelai Luke is

#is this a show from 2006? yes #am I still losing it? yes #he made her a Santa burger even tho he hates being festive. #he closed up his entire shop for the night just to drive her #‘i can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment’ #WAIT #Luke kept his store just the way his dad left it. holy shit #is this why he refuses to decorate #‘im just gonna-‘ ‘I’ll be here’ #he got her coffee from the nurse’s lounge #he drives Rory home #he stays in the hospital with lorelai even tho it clearly upsets him #maybe bc of his dad??? unsure atm #he turns off the lights for her to watch the procession #im going insane #Gilmore girls #star watches Gilmore girls #lorelai gilmore #luke x lorelai

[strayklds]

#so cute… so boyfriend …. i am suffering #but. unrelated. i turned my tablet to drawn tonight but instead of actually doing anything i stared at it for 10 minutes #before turning it off ?????? why did i do that?????? #the night is still young ig so maybe i’ll somehow get inspired but i was so excited to draw all day and then i just. didn’t #anyways. back to hanji #hanposting

[skyloftian-nutcase]

I want to take a 100 year nap, Wild, move over.

#ok maybe 100 years is a little excessice #I’ll do a 7 year nap instead #*shoves Time aside* IT’S MY TURN TO SLEEP IN THE SACRED REALM #UUGGGHHH #my body can’t figure out when it wants to sleep #Tired at 4am? Sweet let’s go to bed around 5 that’s cool #oh but we’re gonna wake up at 8 #and now you can’t go back to sleep #But you can still be tired as a treat :) #thanks body love that for me #my days off my days off and I get to spend them exhausted #I’m just grumbling I’m sure I’ll take a nap in the afternoon or something #I should go walking in the woods while it’s pretty and shut up #now I’m craving sleepy snuggle fics #WOW I need to shut up LOL #random rambles

[bootyful-seventeen]

I am heavily contemplating on buying myself a dvd player soon and buying all the DVDs for a ton of movies and tv shows I grew up watching cuz I miss the magic of dvds

#hear me out on this one okay. but the Barbie movies were magic on dvd back in the day #and I do wanna see if stores are still selling the old strawberry shortcake dvds before I go online for those #I wanna snort that nostalgia so bad #and of course I’ll need to get the dcau on dvd #like all of it cuz I’m so bored with the dccu since we don’t get as much new stuff #it’s always Batman or superman and love them but I’m kinda bored from always seeing a new bman or sups movie #Wonder Woman I wouldn’t mind a new actor for her but I know she’s not gonna be a muscle mommy which I’ll be sad about #give me a Wonder Woman that is built like rhea ripely god damnit #the flash is eh cuz I found out this whole time I’ve been watching the Wally west flash #but yeah Wally is who I want and then there’s the green lantern like dude is so cool iams all we have is the 1 from 2011 I think #sure I could watch some of the tv series they have but I have too many shows on my watch list it’s overwhelming at times so I skip over lots #tho I will have to pray like crazy cuz some of the things I know I want are probably gonna be expensive as fuck even as second hand #saw a class of the titans season 1 dvd going for $81 cad 💀💀💀 #the world is not kind to those who don’t love the digital age #I prefers my dvds cuz I own it and no one can take it away from me unless they physically steal it #omg I’m turning into my grandma cuz she still had the vhs player with some tapes too #just wish she never donated the tapes for swan princess 1-3 and Anastasia and ferngully and basically all my faves that she owned #like Ngl a part of me wants to hit up value village just to see if maybe they’re still there or if I’ll find other copies of the same things #cuz a perk about cities with older people is that you get so much older tech and other items it’s insane

[toastybugguy]

one of those days when shit just happens to you and you realize you probably will never get closure and will have to learn how to cope with it on your own. good god. where is the fucking rewind button!!

#toasty talks #rant incoming #I just want to turn my brain off #god. #I often forget how much people can suck when you exit your bubble #this morning has been awful. shoutout to church groups. I hope everyone there explodes #I don’t think I’ll be going again. we tried folks we tried but I am so emotionally drained and unwell after that. #sue me for assuming as a trans Christian my pov would be helpful in a class LITERALLY talking about gender identity #but instead the moment my experience challenges or doesn’t apply to them they get teary because oh WE’VE felt hurt in our lives too!! #how dare you assume we don’t understand!! (<- still cisgender!! so no!!! you don’t understand!!!!) #fuck them honestly they can figure it out by themselves #I am so tired of this #I would take a staunch conservative any day over these 30 something liberal terfdipshits who can’t stand a conversation not being about them #when the class is. again. LITERALLY about gender identity. christ. #my brother will be home next week and will probably go to the class so MAYBE. MAYBE I will go to that meeting but I really don’t know. #if it’s too much then I am not going back. fuck them fuck them fuck them

[harrys-strutting-dad]

also look at these two. both sides of the gay outfit spectrum.

#i think we’ll never see the landlady again which is sad bc she was so nice #maybe in like the next few episodes #also im still sad bc lucy was sad and i love her with all my heart her big curly hair omg i— #and also i’m still trying to figure out what kind of feeling audrey evokes in me and i think i’ll just never truly know #she like if you took an aquarius and a scorpio and mixed them and then turned them into something completely unsettling but endearing #also ben horne just build a tower out of everything in his room including a stuffed cat. this man. #and also also bobby looks kind of good in his suit which is crazy because i normally HATE suits #i think it’s because of the baggyness tho so it’s fine #also no shelly this episode which is sad but okay #also no leland so no crazy shenanigans which is kind of sad #but a lot of denise which has left me foaming at the mouth #and coop i love coop #mkay enoug #twin peaks #dale cooper #also mina if you’re reading this du bist diese frau. weil klein langer rock bunte jacke und braune haare mit pony. crazy. #.

[shiqingxuanz]

ranwan wip

#help idk what to do with the background #the colors on ranwan themselves don’t look saturated enough (i like saturation) but that’s an easy fix #and i have to clean up the lines and properly render the clothes and hair still #also i feel like chu wanning’s face looks off to me #like it’s not bad but it’s not what i had in mind #i think it’s got something to do with the face shape i think the jaw is too wide maybe #idk i’ll mess around and see #the canvas looks weirdly yellow every time i go back to look at it but that’s just because i added this light yellow layer above everything #because i was going to do the lighting. and then i didn’t. so it’s only half done #also can’t believe i drew the pose myself and it actually turned out nice because usually it doesn’t and then i give up and never come back #wait i think i should fix chu wanning’s shoulder a bit #erha #snow.art

[mangoisms]

this time of the year is so rough because it’s supposed to get as low as 50 tonight and i’m already cold and want to turn on the heater but then the high is also going to be like 74 so i will inevitably have to switch it back to the ac at some point in the late morning and. yeah

#although my room does get a bit warm #my old apartment i had it at 73 and i would still get very cold somwtimes because that ac WORKED! #this one does the job but it’s at 72 and still not nearly as cold as my old one would get #so i have a fan in my bedroom for when i sleep #so originally i was like ok maybe i don’t need to turn on the heater tonight i’ll just keep the fan off #but now. i do not know #the next two days are going to be even colder at night and i know i’ll have to turn it on then (like in the 40s or something) #but now. idk. it’s currently 56 and i’m cold LOL

[the-breloominati]

doc after is3 ending 3 spending most of whatever free time they have given the circumstances by the ocean. maybe they wade just a little ways in and the water feels a little different than before, somehow more viscous yet easier to move through, like it’s pulling them in and pushing them away at the same time. maybe they watch the setting sun bathe the surface in red and their tears make the sea just a little more salty. maybe if they focus hard enough they can still see his face in the water, maybe they would go out at night to see the soft blue glow in the gentle waves lapping at the shore, so beautiful a sight yet such a bitter evocation of their last memories of Him as he was

#maybe one day in a haze of stress and grief they decide to just go down to the shore and swim out as far as they can #but however long it takes them to finally reach the point where they’re too fatigued to swim any further #they turn back and find themselves just a few meters from the shore #find that their feet will still touch the sand at the bottom #would they walk onshore and flop onto the sand until someone from rhodes gets worried enough to pick them up #or would they just decide to float on their back in the water until then #maybe they’d hope that nobody would come to retrieve them; maybe they’d still hold onto the hope that the current might drag them out to sea #and closer to him #anyway. mizuki <3 #y’know what yeah I’ll put this in the tag ig #arknights

[fissions-chips]

Think I’m gonna set myself a word limit for writing this month, instead of a set number of works. I’d like to improve on writing short-form stuff (especially angst and whump cause it’s fun) but between assignments, applications and the urge to draw I don’t want to burn out…

#I’ll set it high so it’s still a challenge… maybe like… 30k? 35k? i feel bad that I’m not sticking to the challenge but I struggle with jus #- barreling into scenes without setting up context and all of these keep turning into two-parters. I’m still having a blast though!! #it’s nice to finally just dump old ideas down onto paper (Google Docs app) it’s just hard to maintain a constant around assignments with #- midterms coming up lol. writing does take a lotta mental energy alas. and I need to scribble to replenish that energy. #but eh- I was never doing the ‘official’ challenge anyways just challenging myself. so! that’s the update! #I’ll still try to write like… 2-3 things every week though I don’t wanna lose momentum.

[lady-merian]

🇺🇸

#So I’m still thinking of that post that talked about idolatry in singing America the beautiful in Catholic mass and it hit me today #Why that specifically doesn’t sound like idolatry #And I wanna reiterate that the spirit in which it’s done *does* matter and mine may just be best at it BUT #Catholicism was not the national religion of England at the time of America’s founding (honestly don’t know how much of a minority it was i #England but I know it wasn’t the majority) And Catholicism was a seriously small minority in America at the time #If somehow the Protestant factions had managed to make a national religion then Catholicism would not only not have been it #It would’ve opened up more persecution for them #Now I see religious freedom as a huge benefit to us all but especially to religious minorities and at the time that included Catholicism #And I’m not saying America is the only country with religious liberty now but I am saying we set a standard and I see it as right and prope #To give glory to God for it #And to not act like He’s totally separate from earthly governments #(He’s *above* them yes but shouldn’t be kept *out* of them) #I’m still not putting this as well as I want but I’ll go ahead and post anyway #It’s just… we’re allowed to be grateful to God for the freedoms we have and a good look at the American Revolution is #Spectacular for showing the workings of Providence #And always always moves me to immense gratitude #I want to be clear on one more thing and that is that I don’t hold with replacement theology. We’re not the second Israel. #America could fall (I’m talking totally and not of the slow corruption we have) and the world would go on turning #And maybe the opposite attitude is really what that post was about? Idk I’ve heard of people like that but not as part of my church.

[swordmaid]

most beautiful woman in the world BTW…

#shut up about bg3. #me doing all the romance scenes so I can take more screencaps of shri��iia 😔🫶 #i managed to get lae’zel/astarion/karlach/shadowheart this time around so WHO SAID she doesn’t get bitches!!!!!! #but I think out of the four lae’zel and astarion’s scenes fits with her character the most bc she’s not the type to sit down and have #heart to hearts… which pains me to say because karlach was so cute about it 😭😭😭😭😩🙏 #i think I’ll keep astarion bc I’m still delusional and believe that shadowheart and lae’zel can have a thing 😭 #like what was that homoerotic straddling with the knife on the neck for….. ??? idk …. I love enemies to lovers 🙄🙄🙄 #but I managed to be an oath breaker in this playthrough ! and defended the grove from minthara #which was SUCH a hard fight like omg …. #I just got lucky that I managed to kill her in one turn with shri’iia otherwise i would’ve been wasted .. #but it’s now the start of shri’iia’s oath breaker arc aka she’s not bound to her oaths / devotion to lolth #so maybe now she’ll be decent LOL #speaking of oath breaker arc I actually have a sketch for shri’iia but I’m like u know who this pose will fit too ….. jaime…..

[shatterthefragments]

I still have a headache but at least I’ve had a nice mocha :)

The barista didn’t charge me for oat milk either 🥹

I got to see my coworker’s lovely paintings!

We’re having frozen dinners tonight (which is good bc if he wants to bitch I didn’t make dinner fuck him and also there will be food) which is low effort for me yay

I am. In no way able to drive in to school so I’ll just work off of my laptop instead and squinty (which probably won’t help my eye hurting but ah well) maybe tomorrow. (My plan for wed work is literally to either convince mum to drive me in or to take a taxi bc I am. Not going to be able to drive on Wednesday morning)

I’ll just. Shower. Begin anew. And fucking get to it.

#idk maybe I just look extra sad today bc a few people have said so and I feel like I’m normally good at hiding it #also may have misremembered who got to the intersection first and gone ahead of my time by accident #but god knows I’ve had to wait for enough people that went before their turn so bc nothing came of it I’ll just. let it go. let it go. #shatters’ fragments #having other thoughts #having other thoughts too and it’s just. is it intrusive or just me getting bad again ? no time #to dwell on it atm whatever. I’ll be fine. I always am #but god it feels like I SHOULD look like I’m bleeding out etc etc etc #also new tattoo idea #to stew on if that Specific circumstance that would allow me to get it there would happen #which uh. I don’t want to happen #but that and the other bottom of foot tattoo idea I’ve wanted for over a decade now… #they’re BAD but I still Would Not Regret it. #besides. who besides me would know?

[bibleofficial]

my stomach hurts so bad i’m literally dying

#stream #maybe it’s bc i’ve had 2 tunnocks biscuits & 4 clementines then washing it down w 4 cups of coffee ALSLAKSALKSLSKSLASKLAKSA #like 😭😭😭😭 #i’m Suffering #i need to do this paper that’s due thursday 😭😭😭 #still haven’t started & im a bit fucked i think bc tomorrow is Therapy Day & that’s 😭😭😭😭😭 #very much Needed but then i’m going to a meeting w mr ohio to talk to a professor then i need to come back & actually do the paper / finish #the paper bc tonight i’m going to JUST do preliminary reading & maybe get quotes #i think that’ll be good enough for tonight then tomorrow we can get the quotes on a doc & then build up some arguments & then make a rough #framework & then i can expand wednesday before turning in after polishin on thursday #that’s my plan ok swag #but also i need to cook do laundry & do dishes & clean my bathroom today #but it’s only 7.30 now so i’ve got TIME i can DO IT #but i need to be in bed by 1/.5a bc i need to be out of the house by 8.10 #i’m grossly overestimating my ability to get shit done #like i’ll do dishes & laundry & cook & that’s probably it #i didn’t do dishes laundry nor cook & i also didn’t start the paper lol #ain’t clean the bathroom neither