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doubleddenden · 1 year

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I genuinely am so excited for Sonic p-06. I have a lot of thoughts about taking a massacre and making it fun and my unironic love for the original 06.

Basically Sonic 06 was going to be this huge revolutionary game in the franchise, Basically the fabled "Sonic Adventure 3," and it had potential. Amazing music as usual, a pretty amazing concept for story, one of the darkest and most diabolical villains of the franchise ever- Lots of heart and soul was crammed into it.

Then... the assholes up top interfered. There's a few conflicting theories- Microsoft wanting it to be a 360 launch title, SEGA wanting it out BY CHRISTMAS- bottom line, corporate greed got in the way of artistic vision, and it was rushed before it could be completed to the detriment of EVERYONE.

What resulted is- as fans of Pokémon Scarlet and Violet will know- a buggy mess of a game thats pretty much mostly known for it. Unlike SV though- even though you could tell they were really trying with the story- it still needed some revising to iron out plot holes. Unlike SV as well, it didn't reuse the same mechanics and models from previous games verbatim, and was coming during the time when everyone hated the franchise and thought it was cool to shit on it for every little thing, so the gameplay was definitely lacking and the reception was definitely not up for debate: it was an utter failure that still chars gaming history. Because it failed, we pretty entered a timeline where we weren't allowed serious games anymore, and that's actually the last time in a 3d game that someone other than Sonic or basically a Sonic Clone would be playable.

But the thing is, as shit as the original 06 is, it was one of my favorite games because I sort of identified with it on a meta level, even if I didn't realize why at the time. I could see the potential of this humongous plot that to this day still has the highest stakes out of Sonic's history. I mean, Generations is a close second for similar reasons, but 06 basically had time erasure, world ending, the whole Iblis Trigger bit, AND you had to fight a literal bonafide god.

Also confession, I liked how they looked in this game vs everyone being squished down in following games. I know stylistically speaking the newer models are probably more on brand and I'm not a fan of the 06 mouths, but I like that they're a little taller and... realistic? I guess?

The stories, while maybe not being completely in character, and a little confusing considering other games (Blaze still confuses me), still had some really charming and amazing moments. Shadow's interactions with Omega and Rouge are some peak Team Dark bonding, Mephiles is downright diabolical and is really fun (and Dan Green basically being an evil Yami Yugi but unhinged and turned to 11? Good lord, brilliant shit), and his brief team up with Silver was actually pretty cool. Silver is such a fun design and concept, and I really felt for him considering the predicaments he was forced to live through- I especially hated that such a cool character came from a bad game, pretty much ruining any chance to play as him again in something other than the psp exclusive Rivals games or as a side character in spinoffs. Not to mention, the moment Blaze sacrificed herself for Silver and allowed him to see the bright blue sky in his own future? Heart jerking. And Sonic and Elise?... okay, the kiss was a little much, but their interactions really brought the best out of each other, and while Sonic doesn't really change, you can see him influence her for the better- and their last goodbye? Heart breaking.

All of this to say that 06 was Potential incarnate and I always knew it. P-06 just proves it from a mechanical angle, from speed being tweaked to all characters to Shadow being an even bigger combat driven badass, to Silver's MASSIVE improvement to his speed and psychokinetic powers and just straight up amazing visual improvements, and even just reworking characters like Amy, Knuckles, Tails, and Rouge to actually be fun to play as.

And the thing is, they didn't stop there. They added small little cut scenes too, added lip flaps and small animations in certain spots- this really intrigues me and just really makes me want to see the team try their hand at attempting to fix the story as well. By fix, I mean just fill in some plot holes, maybe write in some character interactions, and- the biggest thing for me personally- making Blaze's inclusion and non interaction/willing hunting of Sonic WAY LESS confusing. Another big plot hole: right at the beginning, where Elise sees Silver in a flaming battle field as she sees Sonic, only for this to never really happen or for her to be conscious to meet him as a child.

They don't have to do that. Lord knows DBZ has way more plot holes and is still enjoyed to this day. But maybe, just maybe, if they could? Oh the potential to take the worst game and turn it into the best game is ridiculously high. Hell, they could even make a plot about the original 06 being an alternative timeline and give a completely new ending here.

Even if they don't though, what the team has accomplished is still amazing. I reckon they're still going to be ironing out bugs and making tweaks- maybe even sprucing up the Last Episode and all the boss fights. If they make new content, maybe some levels for Knuckles and Omega would be fun.

I hope to be able to play some day.

#sonic 06 #sonic p 06 #sonic p-06 #sonic p06

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orangedodge · 3 years

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@dannybagpipesarecalling replied to your text post:

I didn't realize those were Destiny's diaries either. If you would be so kind, can you explain how Emma knows? Unfortunately I haven't read enough comics to know this backstory.

I am glad you asked about this, because it gives me an excuse to post about it while hopefully not sounding like a conspiracy blog. I've been slightly obsessed with this idea since Emma first turned up in House of X, so I'm rather excited that “maybe Destiny's Diaries still exist” isn't just my weird crack canon any longer.

Emma was, in short, the last person who can be established to have control over the whereabouts of the diaries. And as one of the top five telepaths in the world, who has expressly defended that secret from the likes of Exodus and Mr. Sinister, she is capable of preventing Professor X from just taking the information from her. So barring new retcons, if Moira has the diaries now, they had to have been obtained directly from Emma.

That's not enough to say that she turned them over to Moira specifically. She could have given them to Charles or Er—okay, no, she wouldn't give them to Charles. There could be a circumstance where she'd trust them to Erik though. But in that contingency, I think there's enough context to support Emma knowing why they'd want them and for who. To be clear though, I would be less confident about making that assertion if Emma hadn't just opened the “Dr. Moira MacTaggert Memorial Public Hospital” expressly to freak out Charles and Erik, and if HoxPox hadn't already linked them by showing Moira to be worried about what Emma was up to.

(This got kind of long so I thought it'd be helpful to say the important part up front before spiraling down the continuity rabbit hole)

The origins and resulting chain of custody for Destiny's Diaries are as follows: One January, decades ago, Destiny began recording visions of the future in a series of diaries. Filling one book per month, she continued writing for thirteen months. This process was described as auto-writing, and Destiny herself did not have a complete memory of what she had written, nor did she understand the meaning of much of what she wrote.

Nonetheless, the July diary contained a recording of the events leading up to the defeat of Apocalypse, and another diary contained information on the life of Hope Summers, so they've been very relevant to the events of the modern era. It's not explicit yet that Krakoa's founding is also in the diaries, but because we know Destiny had at least one separate vision of Krakoa, and because Moira is interested in reading them, it seems fairly likely that whatever Moira, Charles, and Erik have been doing behind the scenes is also in there.

In the decades since Destiny authored them, most of these diaries were lost, except for five that Mystique kept hold of, and a sixth that Irene hid away herself. After Mystique killed 'Moira,' she sent her five diaries to Professor X, hoping that the temptation of using them would consume his life and lead him toward a ruinous fate. Destiny meanwhile had entrusted the sixth diary to Shadowcat (who Destiny met in 1936, while she was time traveling and having an affair with Moira's grandfather don't worry about it), who eventually became so freaked out by something she read in it that she vanished on a mission, let her friends believe her dead for weeks, and had herself deleted from Cerebro, while leaving the diary to Rogue for safekeeping while she was away.

(That last chain of events isn't incredibly important, I just think it becomes kind of lol in light of current canon)

Rogue went on to take that diary and the research that had been done on it to Storm. Storm and Rogue then formed a splinter team of X-Men, to journey the world searching for the lost diaries, believing Professor X could not be trusted. Along the way a seventh book turned up with a treasure hunter named Vargas (don't worry about him), and an eighth was found by Gateway and given to Rogue in a dream. Eventually Storm tried to get Phoenix to collect Professor X's diaries for her, but they discovered that they had already been stolen (Shadowcat did it).

The rest of the diary hunt isn't really important, just that Kitty eventually ended up retrieving the full set, before she rejoined the X-Men, which only happened after Xavier had left Scott and Emma to run the school. This timeline is important for establishing that Xavier has never possessed the full set of diaries himself, and was not involved in collecting the lost books at any point, nor was he present at the time the diaries were brought to the school and fell under Emma's protection. This rules out the possibility that the set of diaries we've previously seen were somehow forged by Xavier.

Xavier would not return to the school until after losing his mutant powers, whereupon he departed for space on an adventure to another galaxy. He was unavailable, therefore, to have undertaken any telepathic shenanigans, so what happens next actually happened, and is not a psychic illusion. While Xavier was gone, Mr. Sinister recruited Exodus and Mystique, and began a campaign of hunting down precognitive psychics, time travelers, and any other sources of information on the future. Scott, Emma, and Kitty meanwhile predicted that they were going to be next, and came up with a bananas plan to keep the books safe.

X-Men volume 2 no. 203 by Mike Carey (Writer), Humberto Ramos (Penciler), Carlos Cuevas (Inker), Studio F’s Edgar Delgado (Colorist), Virtual Calligraphy’s Cory Petit (Letterer), Will Panzo (Assistant Editor), Nick Lowe (Editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

First they hid the diaries somewhere in parts unknown. Emma then altered the minds of “all of us” (everyone who lived at the mansion at that time) to perceive a bunch of decoy books as the real thing. She then erased Kitty's memory, and her own, so that no telepath would be able to extract the information by force, before they gave each other a series of post-hypnotic triggers so they could restore one another's memories if they ever needed the books again. When eventually Exodus attacked the school looking for the books, they restored their memories, and decided to send another team to the hidden location where they'd buried a mystery box. Emma gave this location to Sam and Bobby, who dug up the box, which was never opened, and which was destroyed by Gambit during a firefight with Sinister's forces before anyone could confirm its contents.

This was intended by author Mike Carey to be the end of Destiny's Diaries, a dropped plot from a previous creative run, that was vaguely useful at building up to the Messiah Complex crossover, but was a lot more trouble than it was worth to an author who was writing about the X-Men trying to avert a bad future. But there's a lot of room in the story he wrote for the diaries to have survived after all.

I think it's actually really suspicious that the box was accessible to Bobby and Sam at all. Why not drop it under a mountain? Why not bury it under the ocean? Why not keep it phased in a tree? And it's a big red box with a big red 'X' on it. I know the X-Men love their branding and all, but that's going pretty far.

No one actually opens the box before Gambit blows it up either. It could have contained more decoys, or nothing at all.

And when talking among themselves, Emma and Kitty never actually say that they're sending the X-Men to retrieve the diaries. They say that they know where the diaries are, and then send the X-Men to a place where they've buried something. The intent of the author is clear, but there's room in the dialogue for a later writer to decide that this just was another plan to keep the books hidden.

So for the entire period of time between assembling the complete collection of thirteen diaries, and their seeming destruction, they are never unaccounted for. Only Emma and Kitty knew the full extent of what they did to hide them, and where they were hidden. If fakes were destroyed instead of the real thing, no one would have known.

We could just be in retcon territory, but I don't think so, because it's fine on its own without any direct changes to canon. And really, faking the destruction of the books to cover up their real location makes a lot more sense than believing Emma Frost actually sent Sam to retrieve the incredibly suspicious looking red box that contained the most important object in the world, while half the super villains on the planet were chasing him.

Believing the diaries weren't really destroyed just requires the reader to accept that Emma would lie to the other X-Men, and keep lying to them for years, and that she'd be willing to put Sam and Bobby's lives at risk to protect that lie. Which she was already doing in that story anyway. She was already lying to everyone when she changed everyone's memories. And she—and Scott and Kitty—was already fine with risking everyone's lives when setting up a decoy trap in a school. So that's why I think this works better as a continuation of the existing, known, story of the diaries, and not a direct retcon to what happened.

In conclusion I think Emma knows about Moira because Moira got the diaries from somewhere, and Emma is the person she could have gotten them from. Nothing proves a direct hand-off in, like, a formal standard of proof or anything, but Emma having access to the diaries for so long, and having been wrapped up in this whole weird plot thread—which involves Moira and most of the Quiet Council—is enough to imply the connection in a story sense.

(ETA - For completion’s sake, there is also a weird story I didn’t go into called Chaos War that was published in 2011 where Moira is resurrected and finds a book in the ruins of the Xavier School that may or may not be one of the diaries, and touching it causes her soul to merge with Destiny’s, who then possesses her and guides her through a quest to destroy an evil god. This was an odd story to place in continuity at the time, and has only gotten stranger, given 1. that couldn’t be the real Moira, 2. Destiny is not merged with her soul. If this is in continuity (it’s been suggested that Moira’s golem was the character in this event), and all of the characters are who they say they are, and if the book in question was actually one of the thirteen diaries (and not some other book that Irene also wrote), then it requires Emma to have deliberately left one of the thirteen books behind for “Moira” to find, which if anything only adds to the likelihood that she knows what’s up)

#x-men #comics #marvel #wednesday spoilers #long post

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safflowerseason · 4 years

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The OC rewatch - 2x09, The Ex-Factor

To the lovely and insightful anon who sent in the ask regarding my take on Ryan and Marissa’s fight in 2x09 -

I answered the post and put half of my response under a “Keep Reading” cut because it basically turned into a mini-essay and I wanted to preserve everyone’s timelines. But because this website has the clunky design of a junkyard car, the formatting got all messed up when I added tags to the ask post (@Tumblr - why can you not tag an ask post directly?!) and moved the cut to just below the original ask, hiding the whole response, at which point I got so frustrated I deleted the whole thing.

Anyway, Anon, you noted that this fight in 2x09 really encapsulates Ryan and Marissa’s baggage as a couple, and is also one of the few moments in the show they are genuinely open about their issues. As any Veep fans who read this blog know…I adore breaking down a good explosive fight (and I love writing them, too). One of my proudest accomplishments on this website is my close-reading of Dan and Amy’s fight in Ep. 5.03. So I analyzed the hell out of this fight for you, because you’re right—it is a very important fight for Ryan and Marissa. I also included the make-up conversation they have after the argument as well, because it seems to me that the two moments are linked.

First, a few opening comments.

Thematically, this episode calls back to Ep. 1.13, The Best Chrismukkah Ever, which is the last time we have really seen Ryan and Marissa confronting this idea that the way she deals with the challenges of her life—drinking and other reckless behavior—bring up very real shit for him, emotionally (even if he is also subconsciously attracted to her because of it). This dimension of their relationship kind of gets swept under the rug for the rest of S1, with the Oliver and Theresa drama. But it’s back on full display here, since Marissa is (theoretically) supposed to have spent most of the first third of S2 on a low-grade bender. Note that Ryan refers to the “Dawn Atwood special” earlier when he’s speaking to a drunk Lindsay. This is a familiar trauma, watching over a drunk woman, and it brings out the worst in him.

I also find this argument noteworthy because it shows Ryan in his worst light, but not necessarily Marissa. Yeah, she knowingly let Lindsay drink too much, which is a pretty passive-aggressive move, but she’s distinctly not Lindsay’s babysitter. And when a drunken Lindsay (somehow) makes her way back to the club, Marissa and Alex start looking after her. It’s Ryan who goes off on Marissa with very little provocation, and it’s clearly more about his own issues than hers. I just think it’s significant that this fight occurs on a night Marissa is pretty well behaved, all things considered. Not to wave away Marissa’s substance abuse issues, which are serious, but this fight at least demonstrates that Ryan’s explosions of violent overprotectiveness would not necessarily be solved if Marissa suddenly stopped drinking tomorrow. Their issues with one another are more complicated than that.

Anyway, so here we are, in the backroom of the The Bait Shop that is mysteriously run by an emancipated minor (Alex Kelly). Lindsay is passed out on the couch; Marissa and Alex are tending to her.

Marissa: I can do that. Ryan: I think you've done enough. Marissa: Oh, ok, so this is the part where you blame it all on me? Ryan: You’re right, it was Lindsay's idea to pound straight vodka and pass out…feel good to see someone else mess up for a change?

Out of all the teenagers on the show, I don’t think we ever see Ryan drink? He clearly views binge drinking as a moral failing. This is understandable given his upbringing, but alcoholism is much more than a question of good vs. bad. (Although just to be clear…I do not think binge drinking is a good thing, especially for teenagers.)

Marissa: It was her idea! And, ok, so it got a little outta control b- Ryan: It always does with you! You spent all last year trying to drag me down with you, and now her? You wanna make a mess outta your own life, fine! You’re doing a pretty good job of it if you ask me.

Ryan uses the word “mess” twice in this sequence of dialogue, which is very telling. Even more than S1, in S2 we’ve seen Ryan truly trying to capitalize on the opportunity his relationship with the Cohens has brought him. The line “drag me down with you” is extra significant. In S1, Ryan was pretty willing to throw himself into Marissa’s life and try to solve all her problems, which he views as Marissa “dragging him down.” (Lol, remember when he blew off his entrance exam for Harvard to help Marissa escape from the hospital?) But this year, Ryan has done the opposite. He’s thrown himself into things not involving Marissa, namely his schoolwork, and he clearly sees his relationship with Lindsay, studious and innocent, as part of that new direction. As a result, Marissa’s “mess” has become even more of a risk to his future.

But at the same time, Ryan is so afraid that Marissa is going to destroy her life in some way, and therefore his life. As you said, Anon, he’s conflicted about her place in his life because of the potential danger of her actions, even as he’s drawn to her beauty and vulnerability otherwise. So, he goes after her in a way that is pretty unjustified in this particular moment.

Alex: No one asked you! Ryan: (aggressively) What did you say?! Seth: Hey, Ryan, let’s…let’s go. Ryan: No, I'm not leaving her here. Alex: I’ll take care of her—you go.

As an episode that begins to set up Marissa’s relationship with Alex, this episode doesn’t do a bad job. Alex, as the one person in Marissa’s life who actually defends her, must come as an incredible relief.

And now we’re in Alex’s apartment, where Ryan has come to apologize.

Ryan: Look, I don't know…I…I guess I was hoping this could be easy...for you and me to stay friends…for you and Lindsay to be friends. Marissa: (skeptical) And have us all live happily ever after? Ryan: (sheepish) Yeah, something like that. Marissa: I know it seems like a million years ago we dated, but it wasn’t. Ryan: I know that. Marissa: And ok, maybe you're over it, maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore…maybe it never did...but it meant a lot to me. You meant a lot to me...still do.

I think Barton is actually decent in this scene. She doesn’t overplay Marissa’s confession. She’s very quiet and matter-of-fact, and it makes her words all the more devastating. Meanwhile, the camera cuts to Ryan’s face throughout this line, and Ben Mckenzie makes a series of expressions that make it pretty clear that Ryan has been pretty actively not thinking about his and Marissa’s relationship, because it’s just too much.

Ryan: ...it's not like that I...I don't know what it’s like… And…thinking you and Lindsay should be friends was a bad idea. Marissa: Why? I like her. And if you do the math, she's my step sister, so… Ryan: …I guess. (Mckenzie is unintentionally hilarious with this delivery.) (pause) Marissa: Look, clearly, it's gonna be strange for us for a while. Ryan: Yeah I know, you’re right. (pause, turns for the door) I’m sorry. That's what I came here to say. Marissa: I’m sorry too.

The way BM delivers that last line, genuinely heartfelt, the emphasis on the word “sorry”…it's really Ryan apologizing for his departure at the end of S1 and the manner of his return. He left abruptly, he came back abruptly, they never talked about any of it, and he and Marissa basically stopped speaking after the (contrived) DJ reveal. They never had a chance to clear the air, and it’s not like they broke up because they stopped having feelings for one other...all their joint pain over what happened has just been festering.

So, Anon, that’s my take on this great fight. Thanks so much for sending in the ask!

#the oc season two #ryan x marissa #ryan atwood #marissa cooper #alex kelly

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filisaceaf · 5 years

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oof ok i have a lot so you can choose (phan aus for the headcanons ask): detective au (one or both of them), au where dan is still a fan/never met phil in 2009, supernatural au (one of them is not human), x-men-type mutants au, hogwarts au (i had to :p)

You wanted only one AU you said? I’m sorry, Phan is my hyperfocus of the month so it looks like you win the headcannons of 3/5 the AUs and you know what? I’m not even sorry my homie.

This is long so I threw it under a cut.

Detective AU

1. Okay so, one would think Dan is the detective with his charming good looks who could get him into locations easily and charm people but Phil is actually a great detective because even though he’s tall, he just lives his life wanting to help people find something lost or someone missing or make sure people are not being unfairly treated. Dan is more his handler, part secretary (look someone needs to make sense of Phil’s notes, file them in a way that makes sense and is easily accessible to other people, and make sure Phil doesn’t overwork himself into a migraine like he has the past three weeks) and part paralegal at Phil’s little detective agency. He is very protective of his boss.

2. Phil loves being a detective. He doesn’t like to “spill tea” on clients like some people like to think he does, but he likes helping 80 year old women who were robbed get their wedding rings back or help someone find their missing child (he wishes those cases turned out a lot better than they usually do, but at the very least he helps people begin to grieve). He likes helping find justice and is actually pretty particular about what cases he’ll take. He hates doing cases about people thinking their spouses are cheating and really he does those if he’s desperate to make sure that he can pay Dan and his bills.

3. You can pry this one from my cold dead hands but Phil definitely has a corgi named Watson that he likes to dress up in plaid. Watson comes to the office with Phil because of long hours and has a little bed under Phil’s obnoxiously large desk that he bought specifically so he could have a bed for Watson there. Phil likes to pretend he’s hurt by Watson also curling up under Dan’s desk (but really he just goes soft for Dan’s voice going high pitched and “hello Watson”).

4. Dan is not a lawyer in the AU, but he did complete a paralegal program! As a paralegal, Dan can do legal research for anyone, but usually he does it for any jobs Phil did that end up needing to go to court. He can also draft legal documents and is also a notary; he just can’t legally represent anyone in court. Dan likes to joke that he is a slacker to the fact that “I’m a lawyer, but the bare minimum of one”. They met at college when Phil was in his last year of majoring in criminal justice and media studies and Dan was still on the track to wanting to be a lawyer. He took a gap (period) of years, had an existential crisis, became better friends with Phil during that time. Phil originally started his detective agency with another partner and when they left, Dan took over the secretarial side of things. It took him a few years, but he eventually went back to school to finish his paralegal certificate and Phil cheered the loudest at his graduation ceremony.

5. I don’t know how these two get together in the AU, but just know it is a slow burn. Like literal years and months and eons of mutual pining with them taking Watson on walks and late nights at the office and shared coffee runs and Dan always being scared Phil is going to do something super dangerous for his health like climb in a vent or park to close to a gangster’s house and get shot. After they get together, they do agree that Dan should get a another job because working together and living together with Phil’s unpredictable schedule was causing some fights for a long period of time (because they didn’t live together before this point). Dan does still stop by pretty often and double check the secretaries work and curl up in the corner of the sofa of Phil’s office (“Dan’s sofa crease” Phil affectionately calls it) and work on stuff for his other job at a nonprofit for mental health awareness.

Dan is a Fanboy and Literally the Biggest Philly AU (The barely alternate timeline tbh)

1. So, this is literally always my favorite kind of AU and I have a lot of soft feelings about these boys always managing to find each other somehow. But yes, Dan got discouraged after the like 100th time of subtweeting Phil and commenting on his videos and not getting a response, he never reached out to Phil for editing tips. Instead!!! He reaches out to a few other YouTubers years later when he’s going through his existential crisis and he’s like “you know, the last time i was happy was when I on YouTube all the time”. So he takes a gap year in university to try and see if it’s something he likes doing. He was not expecting for his channel to be well received. It takes him ages to figure out the jumpcut thing.

2. Because he never got to know Phil as young as he did, when they first meet at Summer In the City, Dan is actively trying not to lose his shit. Because holy fuck. This is Amazing Phil. This is the guy who he would play in the background while he studied and would donate so much on live streams and upvote and fuck he’s wearing some OG Phil merch with Lion on it. He walks around all day with his jacket zipped up because Phil can’t know he’s a fan; Phil is so smart and creative and funny and god. He’s completely turned upside down when Phil sees him and approaches him because “you’re danny’s snot on fire, right?”

Dan never regretted a username more in HIS LIFE and this exact moment lead to his rebranding months later

3. But they exchanged contact information and eventually did a collab video: Phil is Not on Fire. And they whole time, Dan is trying not to breathe too deep or do anything annoying because he’s in Phil’s bedroom??? His filming area??? His pants are on the floor like two feet away??? And when the tackle happens, Dan hopes he didn’t get a concussion and hallucinated the whole thing because Phil is warm and grinning at him with his tongue sticking out and holy shit, this is better than any video, gif, screen redraw, anything. Seeing it up close???

4. Phil doesn’t even notice Dan’s a fan until him and Jimmy do a ‘What’s in my tumblr tag?’ and Dan’s blog comes up with some Phil gif reblogs from back in the day and Phil just messages Dan screenshots. Dan is mortified. He’s going to delete his tumblr. He’s not Tyler (not that Tyler is bad, they’ve messaged a few times, but Dan’s not a /fanboy/ ((lmao he is))). Phil just giggles on the video and says that Dan is such a nice guy. Kind of. Definitely cheats at Mario Kart. Dan is literally going to die, this is the second best day of his life

5.They get together when they are both traveling for Playlist Live and they hook up at a party one of the nights there. Dan would be mortified if he didn’t wake up and Phil was still there. He didn’t take off in the middle of the night; he’s wrapped around Phil and Phil is mumbling under his breath about how Dan needs to stop moving and just sleep. Their coming out video is on Dan’s Channel and is Titled “I’m still #1 phil trash” which is a throw back to a privated video called “#1 phil trash” where it’s Dan talking about how talented and funny and inspirational Phil Lester is for six minutes because someone had asked him on Formspring who one of his idols was .

Hogwarts AU

1. Phil is from a magical household and his brother is a squib with a banging music career. Maybe it’s latent magic? Either way, Martyn is a sick af dj and Phil loves it when it’s time for summer vacation because he can visit Martyn in London and see some shows (he can’t go every night) or just wander around during the day with Martyn’s girlfriend Cornelia, who graduated from Durmstrang Institute, while Martyn sleeps off a late night show. Martyn being a Squib leads him to take Muggle Studies though because he wants to be able to connect with the world Martyn lives in and someday, at the rate technology is expanding, he is going to have to leave the isolating wizarding world.

2. Dan is from a muggle family and it shows in the tenacious way he fights to be accepted by his fellow Slytherins. Every O on an assignment he gets is validation, because see I belong here, I’m one of you, I may not have families who can trace their magic past Bloody Mary or past the plague, but I am still one of Merlin’ people. He isn’t a braggart though; it’s more of an internal validation until someone asks him for help in a subject.

3. Phil first really approaches Dan in his second year. He brought a hamster to Hogwarts (look, they’ve gotten relatively relaxed since Harry defeated the Dark Lord and the Peter Pettigrew Incident) and didn’t realize she was pregnant. The hamster had five babies and Phil remembered the lonely looking Slytherin who sat at the back of three of their house’s shared classes and thought “the boy needs a friend” so he gives Dan one of the babies. Dan names her Suki and spends so much time trying to make her happy.

4. Dan and Phil first kiss in Hogsmeade towards the end of their sixth year. Because look, these boys are magical but you can’t expect magic to help them get a clue. But they are sitting one one of the benches in town during early March and sipping Butterbeer and Phil just looks over and knows he has to kiss Dan. It’s a biological need. And it’s a good first kiss, warm and syrupy from the butterbeer.

5. Look I love Phil but I’m 99% sure Phil is someone who splinches when he Apparates. He leaves behind clothes more often than not, but there was one instance he left behind his left hand. Dan is fond, but it definitely explains the 20000 socks just lying around the flat they get after graduating.

#phan au #hogwarts au #detective au #dan is a philly confirmedau #phan headcannons

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renaroo · 7 years

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Wednesday Roundup 28.6.2017

First off, I’m going to pump myself up some because I just read an incredible number of comics within one day or so in order to get this review out on time and for once I actually managed it so hoora for me. Second off, holy crap a lot of my comics came out this week and I was kinda slammed and didn’t really realize it until it was happening and suddenly it was a whole lot of “uh oh” but that’s just me, my ridiculousness, and talking about sheer volume.

The real question here is, how did everything shape up this week? And if everything was good what was the best? And at this point do you all even trust my judgment to say what best is anymore lol

Guess there’s one way to find out!

DC’s Batman Beyond, Image’s Black Magick, DC’s Detective Comics, IDW’s Ghostbusters 101, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s New Super-Man, Kodansha’s Princess Jellyfish, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light, DC’s Wonder Woman

DC’s Batman Beyond (2016-present) #9 Dan Jurgens, Bernard Chang, Marcelo Maiolo

*long sobbing sighs are heard from the south of Alabama*

Okay, look. I have always prided myself on the fact that I’m not one of those comic fans that will buy just anything because my favorite characters showed up for three seconds one time in a splash page. I never consider myself someone who reads comics the way people read newspapers — just casually interested in the newest updates on this fictional world I follow at a distance. I come for the story and the characterizations and if they’re not there I won’t waste time and money. I mean there’s a lot of Dick Grayson comics I’ve flat-out ignored over the years and he’s one of my favorite fictional characters. Period!

But there’s… exceptions I can’t stop myself from.

Cassandra Cain, obviously. I make a point of owning everything with Cass in it. But the other is… I can’t avoid Batman Beyond. There is no part of me that can give up on Terry McGinnis, there’s a child in me who will always think of him first as Batman, who will always owe that cartoon for getting me even remotely interested in comics outside of Spider-Man and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I am a sucker for Terry McGinnis and I can’t help it.

which makes it suck that much more that he’s had basically no good comics featuring him since… 2008? 2009ish? And what’s decent ends up irritating me or making me have to turn against it because of the shit treatment other characters I like get.

Before it was Dick and Barbara I was up in arms for.

Now it’s Damian.

The more they try to retroactively shove the main DCU continuity into the DCAU Batman Beyond universe, the less sense it all makes and the more they have to warp characters we love. This Damian might as well have walked right off the pages of Batman and Son because he apparently has lacked all growth and humanity that Damian has achieved — has earned — in the last several years of comics, preboot and DEFINITELY post-New52 and Rebirth.

So that bears the question of what’s the point.

My “what ifs” from last issue of wondering if Damian is somehow controlled by his spinal implants again, that maybe Ra’s al Ghul took over his body the way DCAU Ra’s had Talia — those that I was fearful of now seem more respectful of his character than what seems to be the answer we have instead.

I have a feeling this conclusion is going to get me raging.

But because I am a sucker, because I am a ridiculous fangirl, I’m going to keep buying the things that hurt me. gdi Batman Beyond, can you be good again

Image’s Black Magick (2015-present) #6 Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott

Okay but like…

Goddamn there’s no comic like a Greg Rucka comic oh my god.

Alright so I’ve always been a fan of Rucka’s creator owned works and I think they’re easily some of his best works which, as a fan, is really saying something on my part, but I have been utterly amazed by how good Black Magick has been and how Rucka just has this incredibly unique way of making every issue feel complete even while it’s part of a longer storyline. Every issue counts and I feel that in this issue almost as pure as I’ve ever felt it before.

Greg Rucka: he just gets comics.

In all seriousness, this interesting take on how magick works and how Rowan’s life specifically has been affected by her introduction to her long lineage’s powers — especially in light of what we know about present day Rowan Black and how she has not lived up to her potential as a witch just yet — comes together so well here. And I say that as someone who doesn’t really like flashbacks all that much in storytelling.

That being said, I’m so glad that this storyline is all in flashback and doesn’t have us whipping back and forth across timelines because I’ve gotten a lot of flashback fatigue from comics and movies lately. This is a nice, solid ground to stand on if we’re going into backstory territory.

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #959 James Tynion IV, Alvaro Martinez, Raul Fernandez, Brad Anderson

Alright, so I’m beginning to question about how the continuity of the various Bat titles are lining up anymore because, as we just went over a week? Two weeks ago? Bruce had just proposed to Selina. But now we’re getting some heavy flirtations with Zatanna here. Now, I’m all for threesomes and I actually multiship Bruce quite a bit and that includes shipping him with both Selina and with Zatanna, but this is kinda… stepping on the toes of whatever King’s doing. Which fine whatever. I’ll be honest, I’ve had a soft spot for longtime friendship and childhood crosshairs between Bruce and Zatanna thanks to how much I still just adore Paul Dini’s run on Detective Comics (1938-2011). So this pleases me almost despite myself.

That being said, there’s still a lot of unevenness in this story at the moment. Even with the cast diminishing through deaths and quitting and whatever, we have a lot of characters factoring in and out of the storylines from one to the next. It feels like we very barely have time to establish what everyone’s relationships are before we start hinting at even more shakeups. Are Jean Paul and Luke’s friendship going to be busted up after only a few issues of contact between them? Is Clayface considering taking up the doctor’s idea of a cure so soon after I still haven’t figured out why he’s even here? Is Tim’s not-death ever going to be brought up again before Bruce does something truly stupid?

And then there’s just that… looming threat of the summer event I just know is going to come up at some point.

There’s a lot of good in this issue, and I don’t want to knock it, it’s actually one of the more decent mid-story issues that Tynion’s produced so far. And I’ve been harping on him for that from the beginning so that’s saying something from me. And I thought the art this issue was actually very consistent and well done overall, even if I have to wonder how many times has everyone in the Batfamily stood in a perfect pose with a Batfan on them for the computer to scan and give a perfectly COOL holographic image of themselves. But that’s me being silly and questioning superhero world logic. A truly terrible road to go down.

A very interesting issue and I’m curious to see how the storyline with Bruce ties into the storyline about Jean Paul’s struggles with his religion and how his past has warped it. Not that… as a Catholic those… struggles ring true… or anything.

Anyway, seal of approval and waiting for the story to continue on!

DC’s Ghostbusters 101 (2017-present) #4 Erik Burnham, Dan Schoening, Luis Antonio Delgado

Alright, so IDW is just kicking ass with their properties this week and I honestly think that there’s nothing better to combat the absolute bile and grossness that was the internet fanboys of the Ghostbusters circles more than seeing just how amazing and interesting Burnham and Schoening have made this team up with all generations of Ghostbusters at once.

Erin and Holtzy definitely take the cake this issue and there’s a lot of fun, especially with how the Ghostbusters of different universes compare equipment, ghosts, and methodologies as they address one thing about the 2016 movie that actually did bother me quite a bit which was that the ladies just kept… dispersing ghosts and not capturing them where all incarnations before had made a point of the “conservation of ghost matter” or whatever before — establishing that ghosts would just reappear en masse if not absorbed and captured. The explanation was actually rather witty and made perfect sense with the narrative of the 2016 movie, actually.

One of my favorite aspects, though, has to be how many in-jokes they manage. Erin’s neuroses and figuring out how the various cameos in their universe fits into the original’s universe, the joke about Caddy Shack, and just so much more.

It was a really fun issue and I hope people are picking this up and giving it a chance, especially if you enjoyed the 2016 movie, and especially especially if you didn’t but are willing to see the potential that team had all along.

Marvel’s Moon Girls and Devil Dinosaurs (2015-present) #20 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillian

It’s amazing that Marvel is ruining properties by turning them into evil Nazi stand-ins and warping everything good to come out of Marvel’s initial inception while, in the meantime, they have such good and pure creators making a story like Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur who give us fantastic all-age stories with beautiful art, a lovable and flawed main heroine, and an honestly rather mature and disquieting storyline.

A kids comic where she learns she can’t save everyone. And it’s still poignant and beautiful. It’s still powerful and speaks on a child’s level.

But it sets up for the first time that Lunella, wonderful and smart and brave as she might be, is imperfect. She can’t save the world (or, in this case, the moon) by herself and she can’t always appreciate people’s feelings and their deserving of her empathy until she works on it. She’s been trying so hard to prove herself and show how good she is at everything, she’s allowed herself to stop thinking of everyone as her equal.

So much so that her replacement with an unfeeling robot only gets mild suspicions from her friends at school.

who hilariously know about Lunella’s super identity and her powers because fourth graders can’t keep secrets and i love that.

It’s just such a good story and it’s remarkable that we live in a time where Lunella Lafayette gets to be kids’ introduction to comic books.

DC’s New Super-Man (2016-present) Vol. 1: Made in China Gene Luen Yang, Viktor Bogdanovic, Richard Friend

Kong Kenan is the New Super-Man of China and he could not be more of a change from the status quo of the American superhero archetype of Superman if he tried! Now, that’s not completely fair, obviously there’s quite a bit of convention bending to the genre in this story right from the start, but honestly it felt from the start like a very honest look at just what superheroes would mean for the world outside of America once the Justice League appeared and changed everything. And why wouldn’t other countries be scrambling to make sure that they could compete with not just the rising threat of super villains, but with the potential firepower that would be superheroes representing and being beholden to other countries.

DC and Marvel both have made varying attempts to answer those questions themselves over the years, and Kenan doesn’t serve as the first Chinese superhero in the DCU, but this is definitely the first time I as a reader felt like I was reading an experience and perspective outside of my own. Usually there’s a lens or veneer to these attempts to expand superheroes outside of the US that’s pretty transparent — they’re either very rarely seen or explored and so lend themselves to vague understandings of other cultures (such as The Great Ten in the preboot) or they’re Americanized in some way, usually by having them join a team of characters that are from the American perspective (Bushido from Super Friends) or having them come to move to America and have the whole experience of being an immigrant or student work visa (Ryan Choi’s The Atom).

For me, it felt like New Super-Man is taking the very notable effort of examining a purely Chinese character and setting from that perspective and building off of the uniqueness inherently built in that, but also showing how Chinese people’s views of the West and of American superheroes would reflect in their own attempts to make a superhero for themselves. And why Kenan, while initially seeming to be unfit to be a Super-Man given a history of being rather haphazard and a bully, could actually bridge that gap and provide a really interesting story of learning what being a superhero means for a culture so different from America’s own.

At least, that’s my take on it. While I’m happy to boast about the fact that I’m from a family of immigrants in America myself, I’m still a product of the West and Europe, and I’m reading the New Super-Man with that perspective, and assumedly a lot of other readers are, too. So it’s hard for me to tell how accurate my takeaway is here.

I’m only fleetingly familiar with previous works by Gene Luen Yang, but I have to give him major props here. I’m more familiar with his work with the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics than I am with his more acclaimed work (American Born Chinese and Boxers & Saints) which I desperately need to fix, but I have no doubt in his abilities to portray characters which are good but fundamentally flawed. That was a trademark of his works that I have read, and he really brings that to life in New Super-Man with Kenan. He is a very flawed, very human character that relates to readers based on personality before the differences between America and China can even be brought up in the narrative. And that’s what really made this a fantastic read by the end.

I’m very interested to see where this story continues with Vol. 2 and hope that the reader base for this story grows along with Kenan’s character.

After all, right now the world could use a Flawed But Good Super-Man almost as much as it could use a Chinese Super-Man.

Kodansha’s Princess Jellyfish (2008-present) Chapter 82 Akiko Higashimura

I believe that it’s pretty obvious, the further we go along with my comics reading and these reviews, that I had a pretty large variety of comic tastes. And really that just has to be indicative of my feelings about narratives in general. There’s a lot of things I appreciate about media’s ability to tell stories, and good stories and good characters, for me, almost always trump genres at the end of the day.

And I have loved Princess Jellyfish since the 12 episode anime adaptation of the first arc aired back when I was in college and @red-dye-number-five and I squealingly watched it as it came out.

The series is very soothing for me to read and this chapter was no different in that way. I have no interest in fashion, but the story of this found-family of adult women blundering their way through the world of fashion to save their community and home speaks to me. I really hate love triangles, but the complexities of the relationships between Tuskimi, Shu, and Kuronosuke has made for some of the most interesting and fascinating dynamics I’ve seen in a romance drama. And while I don’t usually go for coming-out stories anymore, the difficulties and self doubt and guilt we see with Kuronosuke over and over again as he tries to find his personal comfort with his gender and sexuality is honestly heart wrenching and I’m fully invested with.

I enjoy this series so much and as usual we have another chapter that fully delivers on its continued promises. This isn’t a perfect series, but for me it is a bit of chicken soup in the middle of the difficulties of life.

Image’s Saga (2011-present) #44 Brian K. Vaughan, Fiona Staples

I think in twenty, thirty years, we’re going to look back and find that the generation of comics that have come about in the 2010s have changed the medium to a diverse haven of storytelling that comics hasn’t honestly enjoyed since the Comics Code and so on. And thank god for it because we get to read Saga as it’s being published and experience it as the true game changer that it is.

We are experiencing a storyline, from the perspective of a woman, who has to undergo a medical abortion, is being sent on a trial of Jobe for it because of the regressive tendencies and behaviors of her own people, and getting to see how much that burden is adding onto her own torment. We rarely get stories about abortion let alone ones where it’s from the woman’s prospective, is pro-abortion but also honest about its difficulties, and clearly shows avid anti-abortion rhetoric and laws as being crippling and more hurtful to those going through the ordeal than helpful.

It is… unfortunately very relevant to our times.

As is all of Saga’s storytelling. People see the nudity and violence and sex and gore every issue and what I love about Saga is that those things are so average, so unremarkable, that the actual mature content like addiction, prejudice, racism, homophobia, transphobia, infidelity, parenthood, and everything else in between is given the gravitas and exceptionalism it deserves outside of the seedy details that too often help the important points get lost in other lotted “mature” content.

In other words, there’s so much peeing on beds that we don’t lose track of the intrigue of money laundering and collusion as the real stories.

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #71 Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Dave Wachter, Ronda Pattison

There’s not a whole lot to say about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles usually because, as with the best comics with the most consistent quality, they just are great and just should be read and there’s hardly much else I can say about why if you haven’t been sold on it already. It’s like me trying to explain to people why they should read Usagi Yojimbo. If you’re not reading it already I don’t know what I can say to make it understandable how much you need to read it.

That being said, this is a slow issue compared to TMNT’s usual action packed fare. And I think that’s for good reason. We need buffer time between stories, this is part one of a two-parter which provides just that, and it spends its entire time building on the lore and mythology of the world of TMNT as it has been realized by IDW. And it’s fascinating and complex and meaningful.

And of course as a mythology junkie I adored every second of it — learning about the Pantheon and the gods of this universe was fascinating and knowing how various previous canons of TMNT are being incorporated to provide it is amazing (I especially love Jagwar’s new self I’m in love). It was fascinating, as has been the amount of love Eastman and Waltz have shown TMNT overall.

It’s a good comic, a slow comic, but good. And I really enjoyed the read. Definitely something different added to today’s pretty sizable pot.

IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light (2016-present) #7 James Roberts, John Wycough, Jack Lawrence, Joana Lafuente

You know that vin diagram that’s things that are okay and then this over waaaaayyyyyy on the outside? Okay. Good. Because that’s what this issue is for me. Holy shit. My emotions have been played like a fiddle and I am sick and engrossed and devastated and uplifted and there are things that I cannot say or do or what. WHAT.

Okay so I wasn’t entirely sold on this recent storyline opening up the Lost Light, if I’m completely honest. I share a lot of the concerns I’ve seen other fans show with regards to just how much retconning of a pretty unforgivable past Megatron has been shown to have in canon prior to 2011 and how he’s being handled now. And this storyline in a lot of ways was both a redirection to what Transformers should always be about — the fighting of fascism — but also felt like we were going a step too far into the department of “see! Megatron wasn’t the REAL evil fascist, here’s what cartoonishly evil fascists REALLY look like” so as much as I enjoyed this story and as much as I really admire James Roberts’ writing in general, I was on the fence about what to feel about everything that had gone down.

Which made the fact that he took the time to dedicate an entire issue to the aftermath, gauging all the different reactions to the plots that had emerged, giving me a new lesbian couple and bypassing the gross route of having one remember and the other not, and then hammering in the Cygate romance to a conclusion I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT OR NEED BUT AM TOTALLY INVESTED IN…. it’s not just cathartic. For the first time I genuinely feel like the sharpness, wit, depth of character, and real solid execution is back to the standards of what I still consider to be my favorite work of JRo’s which was MTMTE Season 1.

This was just… so much to take in, and so fast, and I swear not an inch of panel was wasted. I’m hoping that this means the pace is picked back up, the course is put back on track, and we return to what was making the characters so fantastic and loving and… oh yeah

TOTAL FRIDGE HORROR FOR THOSE OF US WITH CLAUSTROPHOBIA

I really liked this issue. It’s definitely my favorite of Lost Light so far and has me looking super forward to what happens next. Which is something I desperately needed since I learned Till All Are One, which has honestly been my favorite TF comic for the past year, is ending soon.

DC’s Wonder Woman (2016-present) #25 Greg Rucka, Bilquis Evely, Liam Sharp, Romulo Fajardo Jr.

I have been curious since the announcement of Rucka’s departure from the title just how he was going to pull together his past and present storylines, how things were going to end up. And I have been met with the answers which are large, satisfying, and a bit saddening in knowing that we’re quickly approaching the end.

The idea that, without the lasso, something is simply missing from Diana and her life feels like a great commentary on Wonder Woman herself, and what not only embracing her history and iconography means for the character but what it means for her personality itself. Without the lasso, without her faith, without the support of the Amazons at her back, Diana is shorter with her temper, more quick to anger, more brutal. And it’s not her, it the her that people have tried for decades to turn her into to suit their interpretation of what a Wonder Woman should be. And it’s concerning to the people who love her — here exemplified in Steve, Etta, Bruce, and Clark — and unhelpful to the enemies who require her sense of compassion and understanding, which is what nearly all of Diana’s enemies have been constructed to show — here Cheetah and Veronica Cale.

She’s simply not Wonder Woman without those things, and it’s such a relief to have a modern writer with the caliber of Greg Rucka portraying that in a deft and almost poetic way as it has been in this title and especially in this wrap up issue. It makes me happy to have the character of Wonder Woman brought back to herself on the terms of someone who has as much love and respect for her as Rucka does.

It was a good issue, and while I will be the first to say that this run hasn’t been perfect and that Rucka’s shown some genuine problems in his writing through it, I am sad to see it all coming toward its end.

So if I had to sum up this week’s comics as a whole I would just say that I was smacked with a whole lot of emotions all across the spectrum. But as I consider it tonight and really think about what has stuck with me the most in the aftermath of getting through them all, I really can’t understate how much Transformers: Lost Light threw me through about twenty different loops -- I mean the subplot of Cyclonus and Tailgate’s romance alone would earn that spot of just WOW but literally every character, every development, every scene blew me away this week and it really uplifted me to enjoy the read as much as I did again.

But that’s just my opinion. What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Think I missed something this week I should’ve picked up? I’d love to hear from you on it.

Until then, here’s to another Wednesday full of comics!

#Rena Roundups #SPOILERS #Wednesday Spoilers #Princess Jellyfish #New Superman (2016 )#Wonder Woman (2016 )#Detective Comics (2016 )#Batman Beyond (2016 )#Transformers: Lost Light #Ghostbusters 101 #Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015 )#Black Magick #Saga

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9r7g5h · 7 years

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Too Many Cooks

Fandom: Too Many Cooks

Rating: T

Genre: Horror

Summary: Smarf just didn’t understand.

Words: 3,253

AN: So I wrote this while semi-drunk two years ago, because I am meme loving trash. I had forgotten about it, until a few days ago, when, while watching a live stream, I remembered it existed and was prompted to publish it. Here you go. Enjoy the random whatever this is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Too Many Cooks.

Smarf just didn’t understand.

When the Cybernetic Operational Optimize Knights of Science (or C.O.O.K.S., as the universe knew them in the future) had debriefed him for this mission, it had sounded so, so simple. Go back in time. Infiltrate the original Cook family in Cook town as a normal, average cat. Protect them at all cost, or watch the future crumble.

Especially since he only needed to protect them until a good picture of them all could be taken?

It was so simple. There had been thousands- hundreds of thousands- of missions like this sent out before. Robotic cats and dogs had been sent back all throughout history, making sure the timeline was secure. That people died when they were supposed to and lived when they were supposed to and fucked when they were supposed to, ensuring that the known world they knew would stay. Protecting a cute little family of a mom, a dad, a handful of kids (he had tried to count, but there was too much movement in the blurred photo to make out a good estimate), and at least one grandmother would be easy. In fact, protecting their entire town would be so, so easy. A piece of cake. As simple as cooking a stew.

Oh, how wrong he had been. There were just too many Cooks.

Everywhere he looked, there was someone else. What had started out as just Ken, his wife Tara, their children Katelyn, Justin, Morgan, Layla, and Tayor, and Ken’s elderly mother Linda had turned into more people than Smarf could keep track of. Even with his robotic mind, the most brilliant brain a thousand scientists could build, he just couldn’t.

Kayte, the babysitter. Jayla, the random cousin who dropped by every now and then unannounced when her parents were busy (Smarf had to wonder if her parents even existed. They were the only two Cooks he had yet to see). Cameron, Tara’s much younger brother and the kid’s science uncle. Zack, Ken’s adopted brother, come to live with them when Linda had just turned too old to take care of him herself. Gwydion, who had some connection, Smarf was sure, but he had yet to figure it out yet. Ginny, a random child who just showed up, who no one ever questioned the existence of. The twins, Dylan and Logan; Barbara, Linda’s newest lover; Mary, Tara’s sister (maybe?) and by this point Smarf had just said “fuck it” and moved on.

So, the family was a bit larger than he had been led to believe. He could deal. He could still protect the Cooks. He could still keep the family safe, and fulfill his prime objective. He could protect the future.

Oh, how young he had once been. Oh, how much like a child he had once thought, back when this had all started.

When the C.O.O.K.S. had given him the Reboot Button, he hadn’t thought he would use it. Had never believed that things would go so wrong he would have to return to the moment he first arrived in the past, taking the place of the aging tom the family had originally been slated to adopt. He hadn’t even thought it would work- oh, he had heard, of course, about the mouse who had to use their reboot button during the assassination of Lincoln, to make sure he died at the theatre instead of that strange pie eating contest the day before, but still. Even with all of their technology, how could the C.O.O.K.S. have developed a button that would not only put you back in a set point in the past, but also change something about the universe so you could make your mission work?

But then he met William.

Oh, even thinking the name made him shudder.

That man was strange. There was something horribly, horribly wrong with him, but at first Smarf hadn't understood it. How could he have? Even though no one had been able to tell him exactly how William had fit into the family (he certainly hadn't been in that original blurry photo Smarf had been shown, and while everyone else just seemed to accept him, Smarf had even caught Tara and Ken puzzling over the man's reason for being part of their family), he had just always been there. In the background, at family and city functions, acting as if he belonged almost more than anyone else did. It didn't make sense, but Smarf had just accepted his existence and moved on with his mission.

Until that first splatter of blood hit his face, until he first watched the family he had been sworn to protect, the family he had even come to love, fall before him, William's smile never leaving.

He had pressed the button after Ken and Tara had fallen, had rebooted the universe as he watched Linda and Barbara stand before the children and try and hold him off. Rebooted the universe, and found himself once again in that little cage, a small little hand pointing at him, and tiny little voice asking Ken if they could take him home.

This time was different. Of course it was going to be- Smarf had been learned about the Reboot Button in his training: if the button was pressed, the C.O.O.K.S. stepped in to fix things. Sometimes they sent the operative extra information, if it was accessible, allowing them to understand their mission and circumstances that much better. Sometimes the C.O.O.K.S. sent another operative back, to help get someone or something in the right place for the main operative to use for their mission. It was a general reboot of the universe, a cry for help, and the C.O.O.K.S. responded.

This time, with the Cooks' handful of personal chefs- Ricky, VC, Nilsa, and Gregory. This time, with a new neighbor, Will, a creep if there ever was one. With another cousin, college aged Victoria, who took up the family's extra bedroom so she could save on dorm expenses in exchange for switching off watching the kids with the babysitter (and who was also a semi-nudest, refusing to wear a shirt for more than a few hours each day, much to that perv Will's delight. Smarf had scratched out the lenses of his binoculars more times than he could count, but still the man got new ones). With Marc, Ken's hapless younger brother, and his boss, Charles, both of whom were in under the thumb of the director's assistant, Karen. In this universe, Ken and Tara had opened their marriage up to others, bringing in Marc and Mary into the relationship as well, making the family that much closer of one. Victoria and Kayte helped the gaggle of kids with their homework every night after their own schooling, and it seemed like it would be ok. The family was larger, and the larger the better, right?

But then William, once again, showed up. The first time he hadn't shown up until years after Smarf had been with the family, protecting and guiding them. This time he arrived just a few short months after Smarf had been settled in, just a few short months after he had pressed the Reboot button and begun to navigate this new version of reality that was his now.

And much to Smarf's horror, as the children dragged William over to meet him, William had patted him on the head, smiled that large, wide, fucking creepy smile of his, and winked.

Somehow he knew. Somehow, William knew what had happened, and that terrified Smarf. Because that mean William wasn't like the other Cooks, wasn't like the other people living in the little town of Cook.

He was something else. Something more. And it made Smarf sick. Because it hadn't mattered. The newest additions to the family hadn't made any kind of difference, and once again Smarf had fled when William had brought out his knife, had bared his hungry teeth and begun the hunt, and once again Smarf had hit the button.

This time brought in Michael, Chris, Tina, Cynthia, and Sheila, a new family from across the street who fit in just fine in the ever growing work of Cook. Lovely people, fast friends of the family, the kids and parents alike falling in with each other, strengthening the clan of people who loved and cared about the Cooks. This time brought in Clayton, a second cousin twice removed who had moved to Cook to become a shirtless fireman/model, and his twin, Ali, a cop. And finally Smarf thought the family safe, because Ali brought into the fold Ed, her older police partner (and Josh, the petty thief who kept finding ways to escape the police car when Ali and Ed stopped by for dinner, only to end up back in there every other week). Ken got on first name bases with James, Ali's boss, and even had him over for Christmas dinner. Eugene became a permanent couch bum at their place on Sundays, finding a friend (and perhaps a bit more) in Clayton.

Even the coat had grown some kind of sentience (it liked to be called Matthew), and Smarf was sure that, somehow, the pie the youngest of the kids had called 'Lars' was watching him.

All of this, and Smarf had been sure that the Cooks would be safe. Their house was crawling with police officers, with firemen from Clayton's unit, with people so well established to handle William if he showed up. There was even a cartoon focusing on the Cooks as crime fighters, as American heroes, and with all of this, Smarf had relaxed. He had thought his people safe.

But it hadn't. Once again, once again, Smarf pushed that button as the guns rang out, as people fell as metal hit flesh, and he once again found himself back in that cage.

This time, the Cooks had people in power. Political allies, protected by the entire for of the US government. Candace, Ben, Dan (a politician who wrote laws on the badminton court)- all of them useless, in the end. None of them survived that first week of Smarf's return.

So he tried to break up the family. He organized and plotted and planned, and within a few months, the older of the kids were all at Cooks University, having pillow fights and playing games. It was glorious, because if the family wasn't there for William to kill, then he couldn't kill them. Simple, easy, a solution to his problem. It made so much sense, Smarf almost hated himself for not thinking of it earlier. Just keep everyone apart, alive, until it was time for the photo, and everything would be perfect.

Until the reports of the murders showed up on the news. Elena, Victoria's girlfriend, had been the first to go. Amy, her science teacher. And then there'd been cousin Katie (no relation to Kayte, the babysitter). From what Smarf had seen of the reports, she had almost won. She had actually run, had actually been able to avoid William's demented attempts at murder, had almost survived. John had tried to step in, only to find himself frozen with fear (or, perhaps, something else). And she'd come home. To the Cook's home, somehow believing that she would be safe there. That she would be protected and loved and taken care of by the family she knew as in there.

People who saw her flee, who tried to rage against the frozen muscles they couldn't break away from, but were unable to overcome that monster's power. Unable to save her as William found and ended her.

The next reboot had superheroes. Smarf wasn’t sure how, and he honestly didn’t care, because just like all of the others, they failed. Kayte, babysitter by day, superhero by night, found herself missing half her head, and Will was found in two. Like, legit, there were two of him, one normal and one wearing a stupid little cape.

More cops next time, but poor Derick hadn’t stood a chance. Neither had Sue, or Aimee, or any of the many others who had come in to make the family that much bigger. None of them had stood a chance, not against William.

Smarf waited to press the button the next time, just sat there and watched in dumb horror as William, one by one, picked off the Cooks, and all the people of Cook. Watched as he turned the people he had loved, the people he had considered friends, into food, body parts scattered across the floor, roasting in the oven, chilling in the fridge- all while William smiled that large, wide, creepy demented smile of his and winked.

And he snapped. Smarf couldn’t take it any longer, and he snapped, shooting his lasers at William. He knew it wouldn’t matter- he would be pressing the Reboot Button soon enough, so killing William himself wouldn’t make any kind of difference. He, just like all the others, would be back alive soon.

But for that moment it made him feel a little bit better. It made him feel better to watch that demon turn into ash, though it made him miss home that much more. Because back at home, things had been so easy. He lived on board the C.O.O.K.S. space craft under the command of Captain Steve, defending humanity against the Beast Rebels of the Hellscape (or B.R.o.t.H, for short). He helped John chart their course through space, helped Matthew (that wasn’t his true name, but no one could speak his real tongue, on Matthew it was) improve their variety of weapons, and followed Jennifer into the field of battle, killing all in his way with his eyes and his claws and his teeth. Back home, back in the future, back with the people he cared for- life had been so, so simple and easy, and Smarf missed it.

He missed fighting against the evil Matt, missed watching on their giant screens the medical drama revolving around Dr. John and his assistant. He missed it all. But Smarf had a job to do, and so he pressed the button.

He wasn’t sure how many time he had pressed it- enough for the world to get a bit…strange. Things had never been the same after a push, no, that was the point. But after who knew how many pushes? Smarf gave up trying to keep track of it all. He gave up trying to figure out how the world had changed, who the new people were, gave up it all.

So long as someone kept his food bowl full, and warm hands scratched at the itch behind his ear while he curled up in their lap, he didn’t care anymore. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t care about the screaming, about the world degenerating around him. He just couldn’t care.

Part of him had wanted to just let it end. William was too strong, too powerful, and the world was too broken anyway. There was no way to fix this, no way to make things right, so why try?

But as he watched William wreak devastation upon the world, laughing the mighty laugh of an evil god, Smarf had to try. Just one last time, he had to try.

He was thankful that his claws were sharper than diamonds, that they dug deep into the smooth tile flooring and allowed him to drag himself over to where the Reboot button waited for him. Waited, tantalized, promised another restart and that maybe, just maybe, this time he would get it right. That he’d be able to get the Cooks to take that damn picture, and he could finally end this. A chance at getting things right, just one more chance.

He pressed it as he died, and awoke once more in that cage.

And this time, it seemed like it would work. For years, as Smarf watched the Cook family and town grow, it finally seemed like it was actually going to work. William never appeared, the group of people who loved the strange town and the strange little family it had been named after continued to grow, and things seemed ok. Filled with drama, yeah, but when the mayor was a giant lizard man, that was to be expected. But no one died, no one was murdered, and for once, for once, Smarf was hopeful.

Hopeful that he would be able to put away the Reboot button, instead of keeping it in an easy to access place. Hopeful that they could finally be able to take one good picture of the family, thus fulfilling his mission. Hopeful that he might finally be able to end this mission and go home, back to a home he had left what technically added up to a couple of hundred years ago, a couple hundred years replayed over and over again too many times for even his mind, the best mind dozens of scientists had been able to build, to keep track of.

For the first time he could remember, Smarf felt hopeful.

He felt hopeful as the family members crowded into the living room, taking their places around the couch as Ken set up the camera. Watched with hope as people shuffled around, getting properly settled as Ken began the count down. Watched with hope as Ken jumped over the kids and settled between Tara and Mary, the two loves of his life, and wrapped an arm around each other them.

Smarf watched with hope and smiled as Ken, fully facing the camera, smiled as the click sounded to tell them that the picture had, in fact, been taken.

Smarf almost cried. He almost cried, because he was free. He could finally be free of this house, of this mission, of these people, because they had finally taken the picture. Now all he had to do was get a copy and he could go home.

As Smarf waited in life for the copies Tara had printed out, he couldn’t help but begin to plan. It wouldn’t take long to find the return pod that had been set up for him- he knew where it was, just had never used it. He hadn’t been able to even think about using it before. But now it would only take a few hours to get the coordinates set up, to get the pod calibrated for the future, to get the photo placed into the containment field to keep it fresh and-

Smarf froze. He froze, and stared at the photo Tara had just handed him. Froze and stared in horror at the smiling faces staring up at him. Because instead of Ken’s face taking up the center of the photo, smiling his large, wide, creepy smile, was William.

The Cooks had always known their cat Smarf was a strange one. He didn’t look like a normal cat, didn’t act like a cat- if they hadn’t been so sure that he was, in fact, a cat, they might have questioned it. But they were hardly the most normal people in the world, and so had just shrugged and accepted their pet for who he was. But he’d always been a strange one.

Like, he could play the piano perfectly, seemed more comfortable walking on two legs than four, and the day after they took their family photo, he never stopped screaming.

But that was Smarf for you, and the Cooks loved him anyway. Especially William, who was coming for a visit soon, if their memories were correct.

#Too Many Cooks

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renaroo · 7 years

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Wednesday Roundup

We have a new addition to the party this week! Ghostbusters 101 -- and I’m very excited to see where all our continuing stories lead us. So let’s look into ‘em without further ado...

DC’s Batman Beyond, DC’s Detective Comics, IDW’s Ghostbusters 101, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s Wonder Woman

DC’s Batman Beyond (2016-present) #6 Dan Jurgens, Bernard Chang, Marcelo Maiolo

Well, I will give this comic one thing: it truly understands what attracts fans like me to Batman Beyond as a franchise to begin with: everyone giving Bruce crap for his stupid, stupid ideas and the consequences he doesn’t think out all of the way in canon. And Matt and Max are easily the best parts of each issue for that reason. That and Max’s undercut. The best things.

Alright, so I was completely accurate in my assumption last issue that the fact that every batboy in the franchise got a shoutout because it’s going to turn out that Damian has now been brought into the fold of the Beyond universe. And it’s probably going to have something to do either with the AI of the new Batsuit or with the plot from the DCAU where Ra’s takes over a younger descendent’s body in order to regain his own youth -- formerly it was Talia, now it is logically Damian.

mkay.

It still makes me angry that we don’t get shoutouts to Kate, Cass, Steph, Harper -- literally any woman in the franchise while the boys get every solitary universe but whatever.

Not really whatever, but I am willing to grant that the comic is still young and there’s an opportunity that as ‘Tec works to make the extended Batfamily’s stars rise, that they will receive some due credit in the Beyond timeline as well. Batgirls: Futures End anyone? Just food for thought.

Anyway. This was an enjoyable issue, but a rather quick read compared to everything else this week. Most, if not all, of the meat was put into that last page reveal because of course it was. But here’s hoping the pace picks up next issue now that everything’s out of the way.

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #957 James Tynion IV, Christopher Sebela, Carmen Carnero, Karl Story

A one-shot issue? A complete story that focuses on character development and world building with previous setup being paid off and future setup being presented? Are we sure this is the Detective Comics run I’ve criticized for its pacing and drawn out stories for the past year? Are we sure this isn’t a bizarro world issue I got a hand on somehow?

Okay, all joking aside, I have been harsh on this run in the past but I think this issue proves pretty much everything I have critiqued before because Tynion, with help from Sebela, focuses on his strengths -- character, voice, simple storytelling devices, and presenting a critical opinion of the genre while also very much showing a love for it.

This is honestly why I have been baffled by people who have said they hated Tynion’s characterization of Steph in this run. I didn’t like how he wrote her in Batman and Robin Eternal, but almost everything in this issue embodies the parts of Steph I have loved about her character over the years. Striding the line between insider and outsider, loving and protecting Gotham while questioning and being critical of the harm Batman’s crusade has don, not wanting glory but still wanting to be be better and to help. She’s confident, she’s resourceful and clever, and yet there is a loneliness and sacrifice to how she’s chosen her path. And even if she doesn’t mention it directly, because we’ve followed Steph as she got to this point we know there’s still a question about how she’s affording her equipment, where she’s living, who she’s in contact with, whether or not she’s going to school.

This issue gave me so many feelings and it really does reward me for having confidence in the creative team seeming to have a plan and direction for Steph as a character. Something, I should note, I don’t always feel the most confidence with when it comes to this run thus far.

More comics like this, Tynion. I’m begging you.

IDW’s Ghostbusters 101 (2017-present) #3 Erik Burnham, Dan Shoening, Luis Antonio Delgado

On the basis of my three-issue policy, I am happy to say that I am as excited as I can be on the direction of IDW’s Ghostbusters 101. The quality of the Ghostbusters franchise as it’s been handled by IDW for over a decade now has always been among the top tier of comics and probably one of the more under appreciated productions of the medium. I mean, I read them but how many of you read them?

Erik Burnham has become the defining crafter of what I consider “my” Ghostbusters as it comes to the original cast, and I have been very excited to see how he and Dan Shoening translated the recent 2016 cast into the multiverse and into their distinct styles of writing. And I’m more than happy to say that it translates beautifully.

The team ups we’ve all been waiting for since the very first announcements of the rebooted movie has finally come...

And by that I mean that, finally, in the third issue, after two issues of buildup, we finally have some interactions between the Original Crew, the Real Crew, the EXTREME Crew, and now the Answer the Call Crew.

... See, one of the barriers for entry into these comics is you kind of have to accept that almost all the comics are written with the Big Picture in mind. Erik Burnham has always been a slow burn of a writer, and that was very much evidenced not only with my favorite of his Ghostbusters runs -- the Ghostbusters (2013-2014) run -- but especially in the IDW crossover of Ghostbusters/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He takes his time, and the buildup will have payoff, but it might be a bit slow to wait issue-by-issue for for some fans who want the immediate excitement of the characters interacting.

I mean, I’m a fan and I waited until I could read all three of the first issues together, if that tells you anything.

It is a joy, and worth picking up for fans. Just be aware of your tastes before judging too hard.

Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015-present) #19 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillain

If you care about the future of the medium and about comics attracting younger fans, or just having goo wholesome comics for all ages, I have no idea why you aren’t already reading Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur because it is just one of the prettiest, most inventive, and most genuine all-ages books that I’ve read in a long time.

Lunella and Devil have become such an iconic pair, and the beauty of this comic is how the effort and storytelling are treated with the authenticity and effort of “adult” aimed readers, including having Lunella’s point of view be prominent but obviously still marked by immaturity and lack of experience, while still very much at its heart being the story of a child in a world of superheroes, growing and learning and becoming herself even when she doesn’t necessarily know what that means.

The at is gorgeous, specifically the coloring of this issue is just jaw dropping, and getting Lunella into space and having her so attached to Devil to bring him along in a ridiculous but wonderful dinosaur-sized space suit is just amazing.

I love everything here in this comic and really hope those of you with kids in your lives or just the love of good superhero comics with unique tones and stories are picking this up already.

DC’s Wonder Woman (2016-present) #23 Greg Rucka, Liam Sharp, HI-FI

We’re coming to the end of Rucka’s amazing run and I’m just very grateful at the moment. I’m grateful to this run and I’m grateful that the Present Day stuff finally actually caught up in quality with the Past storylines because man it was super shaky for a while there. And it really took the whole picture unifying for it to really work for me and that’s probably going to mean that on re-read, at least for me, the parts I have been critical about when it comes to this run will read better.

...

Okay the racism won’t read better. Seriously, what was the point?

But Diana won with love. Veronica will still have a reason to be antagonistic with Wondy even though she saved her daughter. Diana and Hippolyta met each other again for at least momentarily. There were so many good things -- especially good conversations. Liam Sharp’s art was pretty top notch.

Just overall this was a good Beginning of the End, so to speak, and I’m really looking forward to where we go from here.

So the books this week were very different in tone and story overall, but it has to be said, with the maybe exception of Batman Beyond which still had a pretty prominent female characters feature, this week is really the week of Superheroines. And I love that. I love that we’re at a time and place in comics where women and girls are allowed to be so many varieties of characters and still heroic, still masters of their own stories, and still geared toward so many different tastes and audiences.

It really shows, at least for me, what’s going right with the industry at the moment, and I hope it progresses that way.

But it’s time for the pick of the week, and as much as I really enjoyed all the comics this week, I’m going to give this week’s pick to Detective Comics. It was a great stand alone, it was very focused and character driven, and it’s just so wonderful seeing Stephanie’s independence and more individualized view of justice getting to be front and center of a ‘Tec comic. The times where she was treated with this amount of respect as Spoiler were few and far between in the previous continuity and it’s good as a fan to see that the current creative team can love and appreciate the 2000s comics and draw from them while still adjusting and moving past their flaws.

But that’s just my opinion on today’s pull! Do you guys agree or disagree with me on any of them? Think I missed picking up something great? I’d love to hear from you! See you next week <3

#Rena Roundups #SPOILERS #Wednesday Spoilers #Batman Beyond (2016 )#Detective Comics (2016 )#Ghostbusters 101 #Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015 )#Wonder Woman (2016 )

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