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#mitch my one true lesbian

fox-buried-in-maple-leaves · 1 year

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the adventure ones for emil?

True Name. What is their name's meaning, origin, etc?

He is my self insert and my middle name is Emiliene. So Emil. It means 'Rival' though which is fun. Baudelaire however means 'short sword' and is a direct reference to the fact they're a family of royal guards.

Portal. What is a crossover you've done/thought about for this character?

Flamechasers au,,,, Emil takes the place of Griseo(albeit he's still an adult), as "Preserver". The AU is obviously very sad.

Softly. Describe one of their dreams, good or bad (with proper warnings).

Emil has mostly nightmares. His most common one is being in a replica of his family home, but its pitch black and he's stumbling through the dark hearing his sisters' screams but no matter how hard he tries to find them, he can't.

Metamorphosis. Has this character evolved/changed since you first conceptualized them?

Well he started solely as a self insert and now he has his own traits and personality outside of me! So there's that :D

Treasure. What is something they like/love?

Alcohol.. Writing... Poppies.

Home. Describe their relationship with someone in their family, friend group, with a QPP, a romantic interest, etc.

His relationship with Laure is so wholesome. His lesbian best friend who went "hmm i don't think you're straight or cis" only for him to go "whaaaat? fake..." before taking an arrow for her lmao. Absolute best friends!

Role Model. Did you take inspiration from another character when creating them?

yeah bitch ME

Laughter. What is their sense of humor, or lack thereof? (Bonus: What does their laugh sound like?)

Gallows humour fr.. His jokes can be a bit dark cause he pulls from his trauma or life.. His giggle is very cute, breathy.

Flashback. Describe one of their memories, good or bad (with proper warnings).

Laying in the poppy field near his house, Mitch braiding poppies into his hair while Alexis runs around the field collecting the "best" flowers for them.

Core. How is their true nature different from (or similar to) how they are portrayed to others?

Emil often loses track of himself. He's not sure who he is at times. It makes a "true nature" and a "portrayed nature" very difficult to distinguish. He's different with every person he talks to, sometimes.

Origin Story. Are they a completely original character, a fan character, or something else?

I mean he's a genshin oc but he's fully his own dude in some medias so..

Plot. How do/would they fit into the overall plot of their source?

He's honestly more of a side character for the Fontaine storyline.. His family would be somewhat important/mentioned in the storyline and you'd meet Emil elsewhere and connect him and his story to the side quest in Fontaine.

Quest. What is a personal goal, duty, etc of theirs?

His duty is to protect the people of Teyvat. Whether that be against themselves or against Gods. He's a defender.

Wanderer. Describe an aspect of their world/setting they interact with.

Some treasure hoarders in Liyue will mention a "dark haired stern faced man" in a certain side quest ^^

#☾*✲⋆. Essence of Myrrh #From The Fate ; Ash #⋆｡°✩ Emil

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horrorslashergirl · 3 years

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Hello! I would love for your ocs to react to my new slasher oc! 😊

Her name is Tiffany Anderson and she's from New Hampshire. Shes from a pretty rich family and has an older sister that is perfect in every way and her parents constantly dote on her and ignore Tiffany.

Tiffany is a 5'7" lesbian beautician with a thin body, short brown hair and blue eyes. Shes pretty tomboyish and enjoys outdoorsy hobbies like sports.

She wears lots of pink, a blonde wig and a Rejuvenique mask when she kills to hide her identity. She doesn't care who she kills, it just has to be someone in the wrong place at the wrong time (usually after her monthly dinner with her family) 💕

Richard Firewood

He may like her because of her rich relations, and may even indulge into being his help with leading people into being his next victims. Talk about being an appretience but that's about it.

Richard: Killing without a certain destination is all in vain but I suppose she is young and clueless.

Jackson Jasper

Jackson thinks she is a cute one and is impressed that such an innocent looking female can be so deadly. Plus her family issues might make Jackson symphatetize with Tiffany.

Jackson: I can understand her frustration with her family. My father wasn't the most enjoyable man to have around.

The Hacker

He thinks she is quite a dollface and he might be tempted to put her into his next redroom torture livestream.

The Hacker: Cute baby doll... I am sure she will look stunning covered in blood. *sadistic smirk*

Dave Anthony

She looks fun to play with and this poltergeist doesn't are about Gender, Age, Race. If you are his victim.... You fate has been decided.

Dave: Cute little bitch *smirks* I wonder how she will look crying and begging all over the place. *evil laugh*

Azol

Much like Dave, this evil entity will enjoy in harassing Tiffany, since she seems so vulnerable.

Azol: Awwww... Why you crying? Your parents don't like you? *chuckles evilly* Don't worry, pretty pink cunt... Daddy will take care of you... In hell! *maniacal laugh*

Samuel Grayson

He will probably feel uncertain about her, seeing her aura on such a sorrowful point despite her bright colors. He will probably feel sad for her and how her family treats her... Lord may have mercy if they meet Samuel.

Samuel: Such a sad little creature... What humans can do out of other humans. *snorts in disgust*

Bambi Miller

She thinks Tiffany is cute and if she is a beautician, they might have a sleepover girls night, do each other's hair, makeup and nails. Just have a great time and maybe later go for some... hunting.

Bambi: She seems so sweet! If she is up to it I might teach her how to throw knives.

The Shadow

He views her as a child without a certain path to follow. He might find it amusing that she kills randomly, not even choosing a bit on her victims. It's like a rushed work done poorly. One thing is that he might have a drop of empathy when it comes to her family's bitter relation because he knows the horrible taste.

Shadow: She has a lot to learn and I don't have the patience and time for that... She will eventually learn.. from her own mistakes...like we all do.

Mitch Carson

He probably wouldn't really care about her, maybe be a little intrigued and cautious, but other than that, not much.

Mitch: *grunts and growls, watching from the dark corners of the jail*

Damiano Liberato

He will find her very much intrigued, especially by her dressing aesthetics, and be very tempted to make her model for him, and if she proves to be so much worthy, well... She signed her fate with this man.

Damiano: Interesting patterns and choice into clothing. Improvement is required, but nothing that I cannot do. *smirks*

Gerome Montana and Axel Friedrich

In their eyes, she is simply a child with parents' issues and nothing much. Maybe find it amusing that a female like her, is killing randomly.

Gerome: Cutie, but she lacks the skills of a true hunter.

Axel: Clueless child.

Azment

She looks so innocent that Azment just wants to hold and cuddle her, show affection and tell her that she is just perfect and she doesn't have to be like her sister for someone to love her.

Azment: She is so fragile, so easy to break... She should come by and visit me.... sometimes. *smirks*

Bahini Talibah

They might be on neutral relations, but that's about it.

Bahini: She seems alright, I suppose... but she has to be careful with whom she chooses to kill.

Xaviera Lah-Mo

She might feel sad for Tiffanys' relation with her family and maybe assure her that she doesn't have to prove to anyone that she has certain qualities.

Xaviera: I feel a little sad for she doesn't get along with her sister. *sad sigh*

Akshay Lah-Mo

He doesn't really have an opinion on her, maybe finds her random killing a bit stupid and that one day she might not be that lucky. Also, they might go hiking, but the chances are low.

Akshay: Child... *snorts*

Decebal Avram Chirila

Decebal finds her to be a total cutie, might flirt with her, find it funny that she kills out of the blue, and a little sad about how her family treats her.

Decebal: She looks like a cute little cupcake. *smirks*

Alexander Chirila

He too might find her relation with her family a little sad, and he knows how it feels to be viewed as... imperfect, to be always demanded to do everything in a pristine manner. He isn't good with socializing, so he might not know how to comfort her, despite wanting to do that.

Alexander: I know how she feels... If I am gonna be mistaken for my big brother again and be fucking invisible I am gonna go bonkers. *scowls*

Nadia Nikolina Chirila

She is very emphatic with women, especially small ones, and Tiffany is a bit small compared to Nadia. Nadia will try to assure and comfort her, feeling sad for how she feels. Also, if Tiffany likes outdoor activity, they might go for a run to clear their heads of negative thoughts.

Nadia: Such a sad little one... It breaks my heart to see women like this. *sigh*

#Richard Firewood #Jackson Jasper #The Hacker #Bambi Miller #Dave Anthony #Azol #Samuel Grayson #Azment #Mitch Carson #Bahini Talibah #Gerome Montana #Axel Friedrich #Xaviera Lah-Mo #Akshay Lah-Mo #Decebal Avram Chirilă #Nadia Nikolina Chirilă #Alexander Chirilă #The Shadow

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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Top 5 Dumbest Things in The Final Season

I’ve played TWDG a lot, and I can confidently say that The Final Season is my favorite installment, and I’d argue that it’s the best of the series in terms of visuals, controls, characters, and storyline... but that doesn’t mean it’s a perfect game by any means. In fact, there are a lot of issues and inconsistencies you could pick out within the story and the arcs of our characters.

But today I don’t wanna tackle the big problems. The issues on today’s list aren’t a big deal and won’t ruin the experience of the game-- they’re minor and just really, really dumb. They’re things that you probably wouldn’t even notice during your first or second playthrough of the game. Honestly, most of these probably could be easily explained with “shhhh, don’t think about it.”

But I’m thinkin’ about them because they’re dumb. So, here's my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS. Do note that these Top 5′s are all in good fun, and they’re my opinion. Obviously.

[also, most of the screenshots used here are from @pi-creates-- if you haven’t checked out Pi’s blog, I highly recommend you do! :D]

5. Doors make no sense.

The doors in this game are dumb and make little sense. And you might be scoffing like, “Really? Doors?” and to that I say, “YES DOORS OKAY!”

If you’re like me, you like to look at everything in hopes of finding interesting details and maybe an easter egg. If you look at the all the doors after breaking out of the dorm in ep1, they all have different locks which... why?

Wait, shouldn’t Clem be able to open this one...? The lock is right there on the outside.

Why are they different? Also, why are the dorms lockable from the outside? Like, okay, I get it-- ya gotta lock up the troubled youth so that they don’t escape. Fine. Cool, I can accept that... except does this mean that someone had to go around and unlock all the dorms every morning before the apocalypse? What if you forgot a door and a handful got stuck in there for the day? What happens if you lock all these children in their rooms and a fire starts??

And don’t you look at me and try to be like “Pfft, there’s not gonna be a fire--” excuse me?? With Aasim hanging around, and Mitch for that matter, you’re gonna tell me that the odds of fire happening are 0%?

Well, y’know, fine. If there’s a fire, then the kids can just escape through the windows... oh wait--

Weeeeeell fuck the troubled youth, I guess.

But the dorm doors aren’t even the dumbest doors here-- no, no. That would be the god damn basement door that apparently locks from both sides because game’s gotta game and I guess Marlon has the key?? This dumb door makes no sense.

Again! I feel like this is a safety hazard?? Sure hope no one gets locked down there, otherwise, you’re fucked I guess?? because there’s no way to unlock or open it from the inside?? After Brody dies and Clem’s looking for a way out, you’d think that she should be able to just open the door at the top of the stairs now that she’s inside but nooooo-- game’s gotta game.

Ugh, dumb doors!

4. Abel’s magic shotgun

Did you guys know that Abel actually has a special shotgun? A magical shotgun, if you will?

It’s true, he does. He uses a shotgun that, when he fires it, the buckshot curves around to hit the target when the plot demands it.

It’s true! And it’s dumb!

I know this, because if you yell for Violet to shoot Lilly in ep2, Abel will throw AJ to the grab, pull the shotgun out of nowhere, and fire at both her and Louis.... but somehow--

--only Louis manages to get hit.

Soooo.... I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??

Not only that, but it only got Louis in the arm?? H-how??

But that’s not all!

After Louis and Violet flee the scene, Clementine and AJ are on the run with Lilly and Abel shooting BEHIND them... sooo...

If Abel was behind them.... how is it that AJ’s shot in the FRONT of his stomach??

Like, I guess Abel could’ve been at an angle when he shot but they only ever show him behind them soo?? Do I just not know how shotguns work? Do they curve to hit people in their front rather than shooting straight forward?? Because what??

On top of that, how is AJ not dead?? I know, I know, protagonist powers and whatnot but?? the boy took a shotgun to the belly?? other characters have survived lesser things??

But y’know, the dumbest part about this is the fact that I can’t take Abel’s magic shotgun for myself after the Ericson crew capture him. I could’ve just finished off every delta member if the shots curve and travel to hit their targets.

Or maybe Abel’s the only one who can harness its power.

Either way, Abel’s dumb shotgun is dumb.

3.You can’t hug Louis and Violet during their romance routes.

Sigh.... Why?

Y’all know that I’m a clouis shipper, and now lemme tell you a fun story that isn’t actually that fun-- Do you remember when the trailer dropped for ep3? And we got some teaser screenshots, with one of them being a shot of Clementine and Louis hugging? Well, I was excited for a plethora of reasons, and that hug?

I could not wait for this hug.

Then I got through my first run of ep3 and... no hug? Wait, no hug? Why not? I thought--

Oh. Oh, it turns out... it turns out you can only hug Louis if you don’t romance him.

Ummmm. Huh. Wha- why?? Do you know how dumb that is?? What dingus who worked on this episode forgot to implement the hug option for the romance route?? Rather, what dingus thought it was a good idea to only give the Louis romance two options outside of doing nothing-- Slap Louis, or kiss him?? Where’s my hug?? Why is Clementine not allowed to comfort her boyfriend with a hug when he’s clearly anxious about everything that’s about to go down?

Look, the smooch is great and all BUT it’s not what Louis needs in this moment, ya dingus.

I’m sure if I asked Kent for answers about this, he’d do one of two things-- go into a long winded essay about how the lack of hug and slapping him totally makes sense within the context of Louis’ character arc and route because of this and that and this subtle detail here... or he’d give a shrug and say “I dunno, reasons??”

Ugh, okay, well maybe they let you have the choice in Violet’s romance route--

...Why??

Again, if I choose to romance Violet, why am I not allowed to comfort my girlfriend with a hug before we do this rescue mission?? Sure, I can reassure her that I’m not going anywhere, which is definitely a better option for a love interest than, oh I don’t know, slapping. But the HUG!

They could’ve implemented the hug option into the romance routes but they didn’t and that’s incredibly dumb.

2. Magic tree is magic.

Know what I don’t like? The dream theory. Y’know, the theory that the overly happy ending we got at the end of TFS was all just a dream in AJ’s head to cope with the devastation of the real ending-- the one where Clementine died.

Now, I can already hear you scoffing at me once more like, “Dream theories are dumb, CJ.” and this time, I do agree with you.

However, there’s actually some compelling evidence that could subtly point at this theory, such as the backward graffiti in the dorms that was present in Clementine’s nightmare, or the fact that Clementine is, y’know, alive despite being seconds away from death in the barn...

Oh, and then there’s this fucking magic tree.

Oh, you know... the tree that magically grows in in ep4! The one with the tire swing!

Episode 3 vs Episode 4

This tree is dumb and makes no sense. What, did they just... plant a tree there? Did they push the tree up that was on the ground and use some magical wood glue to fix it?? Clementine said that Willy helped her with the tire swing so like... is Willy some sort of tree whisperer??

Or is this just further evidence of the dream theory where AJ’s lamenting the fact that Clementine never got to push him on the tire swing back at the train station and now she never will because she’s fucking dead??

I don’t wanna think about it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what the devs would tell me-- “Shhhh... don’t think about it.”

This tree is dumb!

1. What even is the greenhouse??

So.... the green house. It’s dumb. And inconsistent, both in the story and actual location of it.

First of all, as you can see in the concept image above, it should be within the walls of Ericson, yeah? And if you’re like, “Well, it’s CONCEPT art so it might not be totally accurate CJ.” and I say, “Fair enough, let’s look that the actual in-game map the characters use then.”

Look at that-- still within the walls of Ericson, though in a different location than the concept art. Make sense? Sooo....

Where the hell is it?

Because it’s not within Ericson’s walls. No, no--

It is WAAAAY the hell out here! You can see the bell tower in the distance so like... huh? Where are we?? This is a long as walk to the greenhouse!

Oh, and if the weird inconsistent locations weren’t dumb enough, there are different conflicting stories surrounding it, as well!

First, Marlon says that they had it functional with lots of vegetables, but then it became over grown so they don’t go out there anymore. Then, if you go fishing with Violet and Brody, Vi will tell you she worked in the greenhouse the day the twins were killed last year, which... doesn’t add up? Especially when we actually go there in ep2 and see that Ms. Martin died and became a walker inside, but she died a while ago??

Also, how did Ms. Martin get tied up like that? Did she get bit, barricade the doors-- wait, that doesn’t work because how did she barricade the science lab from the inside when there’s a shelf in front of the door?? In fact, shouldn’t the walkers that are inside be students that died??

“Sshhhh... don’t think about it.”

Ugh, nothing adds up about this greenhouse and that makes it the dumbest thing in TFS.

---

Honorable Mentions

AJ magically teleporting behind Marlon with the gun. Because plot.

The dumb padlock on the gate Louis/Violet/Tenn climb over in ep4 that they could’ve easily broken

Louis’ jacket that somehow holds Chairles

The padding on Violet’s boot that’s rendered useless because they put it on the leg she doesn’t use to kick walkers away

---

Those are my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS, do you agree or disagree? Do you have anything from this game that’s dumber than what I have listed? Let me know!

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate

#twdg t5f #twdg #twdg clementine #twdg aj #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg lilly #twdg abel #twdg marlon #twdg aasim #twdg mitch #twdg tfs

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c0ffeebee · 3 years

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seeing you put Anastasia, my ABSOLUTE favorite movie out of all of the movies ever made ever, on my dash and knowing you like RotG, I gotta ask: top 10 favorite animated movies, ranked, with a short (or if you wanna indulge, longer) reason why you love them??

oh shit that's a tough one! cause i love animated movies and i don't think i can rank those... for some reason i always have troubles ranking stuff anyways, but when it's my favourite things from one of my favourite genres? too hard to do

so, i'll try to talk about the first ten that will come to mind and hope it's gonna be good enough

first of all my favourite animation studio is and probably always will be laika, so five positions on this list would be occupied instantly:

Coraline

i fell in love with this studio's work because of this movie, i love everything about it, the story, the characters, the creepy vibe, the black cat being important lol, the old lesbian couple of drama queens? action, friendships, family feels, and important, important lesson on being careful with your wishes and supporting your family even in darker times? amazing

i've read the book and i think it's also one of the best on-screen adaptations i've ever seen

ParaNorman

see i love all of laika's movies basically for the same things: INCREDIBLE, MIND-BLOWING amount of work they put into everything, the soul in each movie, the dark vibe of most of their films, the kindness, the lessons, the difficult themes they aren't afraid to speak about, the twists with villains and heroes and how complex the world really is? how complicated people and relationship are? words cannot express how i love all that, and paranorman is all of it and more, also first openly gay character in children's movies shown on big screen? and no one even talks about mitch, what a shame

Boxtrolls

movie that got hate for including gay couples in the trailer and because one of the soundtracks touched on gay relationship? perfect, also i have to say i LOVE "some kids" song, it's wholesome and cute

this movie is so sweet and yet again deals with so many important things, and it's so underappreciated, and it's got one of my favourite female characters in it, winnie is an icon 💙

Kubo and the Two Strings

it's got everything the movies above have PLUS one of my favourite enemies to lovers ships, and this movie uses both the biggest and the smallest stop-motion puppets ever which is incredible, i love this story with my whole heart, even just taking about it makes me want to rewatch it right now and fall asleep with the warmth of it

Missing Link

i took my parents to see this one in cinema and they were so so impressed by laika instantly, my dad couldn't stop talking about it for a week lol

this movie means so much to me, it's about found family, identity issues, learning from your mistakes, finding your place in the world and so much more

and we are kinda sorta not done with laika yet because guess who worked on one of my favourite animated movies of all time the corpse bride? yes, you guessed it, so

Corpse Bride

again it's stop-motion that deals with difficult themes of trauma and etc, it's got dark vibes, and i love everything about it, the songs, the desings, the details, the characters, and that moment victor and emily play the piano as a duet? i'm gonna cry, peak romance right there

and while we at it

The Nightmare Before Christmas

as you can see i really fucking love stop-motion lol, but it's true, i love this movie and again for a of the reasons i love the others like it, i watch it every single christmas and halloween, i adore it and sally's song? one of my favourite songs ever

Rise of the Guardians

this movie gives me so much joy, i again watch it every christmas season and again it's got everything i love, the animation is beautiful, the characters are written so well, the attention to details there, the found fucking family i will die for them, and oh don't even get me started on their villain and hero parallels, the shared pain? similar backstory? no one understands them better than each other? it's basically sebjace animated that's what i'm trying to say

The Road to El Dorado

fun gay adventures of my sons tulio and miguel? soundtrack full of homoerotic subtext written by none other than elton john himself? beautiful incredible colorful animation? the dialogue? the jokes? the polyamory of it all? chel being an icon? "you fight like my sister!" "i've fought your sister, that's a complement!" i love this movie with all of my heart and soul

Anastasia

do i even need to say anything? anya (who should be nastya in russian but i don't care) and dima are what shaped my ship preferences, they are so... hetero in an unmistakably bi way that it hurts

lovehate? idiots to lovers? childhood crush? pinning? slow built? *smacks the ship* this bitch can fit literally every single favourite ship trope in it!

i love the story even tho it's got no historical accuracy but that's basically fanfiction and we don't need that history nonsense in our slow burn idiots to lovers fic, right?

goddammit now i want to rewatch everything in this list *cries in animated movies*

see that's a ten AND i didn't even get to disney and pixar yet, and they do have some of my favourite movies, you know, like mulan and hercules and coco and lion king and moana and soul and monsters inc and EVERYTHING, god i love animated movies, ok? ok

thank you it was a great way to put my energy into something 💙💙💙

#bee answers #long post #takaraphoenix

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thegayagenda-forkids · 4 years

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Why Cami is important, and why we need more of her types of characters.

While everyone is watching the Cartero/Tennis Boyfriends storyline, as well as Elena’s story and Gabi’s story, I want to talk about the only openly gay character at the moment (Episode 7/8), Camilla, but to really get to talk about her, I have to dive a little bit into the history of gay characters in comedies.*

**I’m only including gay characters in comedies because otherwise my list would be too long to be able to dive into, and this post is going to be mostly about Cami.

So, the first openly gay character to appear on American TV is Steve, played by Phillip Carey in 1971 on “All in the Family.” He appeared for only one episode, but he opened the door back when being gay was taboo, and wrong, and he wasn’t killed onscreen or beaten up. In fact, he was played straight, in a way. Throughout the episode, the main character is speculating about several other men being gay, while Steve was described by that character to be “a real man’s man.” It’s at the end of the episode where Steve comes out to him, dismisses the rumors about the other men the main character suspected, and then he was never seen on TV again. And his appearance is so important because it challenged stereotypes of what gay men on TV were, and where it was appropriate to see these topics. He opened the door for more gay characters to show up.

However, it was a bit of a double-edged sword because for the next several years, the gay characters we saw were “very special episode” characters, approached the same way these characters would approach cancer, or drugs, or addiction. They were a sensitive topic people need to know about, the episode will be less funny to show the full gravity of the situation. But, gay people were seen on TV.

Slowly, people start accepting that gay people exist, and while they might not wish direct harm on them, the general attitude was still very anti-LGBT rights. So gay characters shifted on tv and they were no longer sensitive topics to approach, but a minor/recurring character who was overwhelmingly male, flamboyant, stereotyped to hell, and typically, the “Gay Best Friend.”

The true turning point, in my opinion, was Ellen DeGeneres on “Ellen.” She was the main character of her show, personally in the process of finding herself and coming out, and then deciding to have the character she played come out in a serious, but relatively humorous way. There was backlash, her show didn’t last much longer after that, and overall, she took a huge risk. But she started the first step of the process: character first, sexuality second. She wasn’t defined for being gay like every other person, with potentially the exception of Steve, was up to this point.

But Steve and Ellen served different purposes. Steve de-stigmatized the idea of gay people appearing on TV by only revealing he was gay at the end. He only appeared for one episode, let everyone see how throughout the episode, he was the opposite of gay men they built up in their mind, and then only let the hammer drop right before vanishing forever. Ellen went through four years of people getting to know her, she was the principal main character, and then she came out after. Steve allowed gay people to be shown more on TV, Ellen allowed us to get to know them.

Then around that time, let me just say this: “Friends” was pretty problematic with several issues like the character of Ross and how Chandler’s birth parent transitioning, but there was one thing that was pretty well handled and relatively holds up, and that’s Carol and Susan. Now, by no means was their portrayal and representation perfect, and Ross frequently made jokes revolving around the fact that his ex-wife was a lesbian, but they were never jokes about Carol being wrong or weird, but rather self-deprecating ones, and then the show went on to show them raising and co-parenting a young boy with Ross and they even had the first lesbian wedding on TV, and, at least in my memory, they were never sexualized, meaning that they weren’t created to be objects of mens’ desires, they were simply in love and trying to lead fulfilling lives with each other.

And now we go from the sidelines all the way front and center with the original airing (not the reboot) of “Will and Grace.” The main character was an openly gay man living with a straight woman, who had a gay and an ambiguous, but potentially, bisexual best friends (Jack and Karen). And boy, was this show the first of it’s kind. Will wasn’t portrayed as flamboyant and taking on a stereotypical job, but rather the respected position as a lawyer, owning a nice apartment, and him being gay was only used as a fact while he dated men throughout the show. People at the time earnestly believed Will and Grace would get together in the end by how un-stereotypical and “not gay” Will acted.

But acting as his foil was Jack, perhaps the most flamboyant character to ever grace TV screens. He was loud, overly dramatic, cared too much about his appearance, and his goal was to be an actor. And he wasn’t automatically Will’s boyfriend because he was also gay. He was Will’s closest friend, a confidant, and though he could be an asshole, Jack was true to himself, even if his true self was every gay stereotype shoved into one body while Will got to break those stereotypes by being a well developed and well rounded character.

From there, Gay characters are a mixed bag. Normally in tv shows marketed for people 16 and up, not for children, and typically as side characters. We get our Kurt Hummels, our Mitch and Cams, our Oscar Martinezes, and all these others. They’re occasionally the main character in a cast, most of the time the side characters, and they’re varied. They’re also more visible, and they’re popping up more and more. Now, I’m not even going to get into Brooklyn Nine-Nine in terms of Queer representation because I could go on for days about how they’ve got it, and go into the similar media and target audience.

I’m, of course, talking about “Good Luck Charlie.”

Now I know, I KNOW! It was one episode where there were two moms that showed up for a play date. But it was one of the first kids’ shows to show a gay couple, and by kids, I mean that it’s marketed for people under 16 as well. And it was also pretty well addressed. The parents are wondering how to separate the couple in order to hang out while their toddlers played at the same time as arguing over who was the child’s mother since they each only met one. And when they open the door to Cheryl and Susan, they greet them normally and the only acknowledgment that comes is the father hitting his head like he had forgotten a word and saying “Taylor has two moms,” simply settling the argument about who was Taylor’s mom. And the rest of the episode was just about the parents trying to make friends but being annoying people until Susan and Cheryl fake headaches to leave. The episode treated them not as a “Gay Couple,” but rather a couple who happened to be gay. Not even Modern Family 10 years after the pilot can act like that.

And I KNOW you guys are waiting for it: Cyrus Goodman and Thelonious Jagger Kippen. I bet if I were to take a poll right now of who’s Disney’s first openly gay character, at least 90% of people would say it’s Cyrus Goodman. He was developed as his own person first; this adorable, quirky boy who loved his two best friends more than anything and would get over-enthusiastic for anything they did or he decided to pursue, and he went through panic, then he came out to Buffy. It’s also impressive that for Disney’s first gay main character, they didn’t have him already self-assured that he’s gay, but rather figuring it out and terrified when he came out to Buffy. He was afraid of what she’d think of him, what she’d say, and how their friendship would continue, which I touch more on *here.* At the same time, T.J. is also developed from a bully and antagonist to one of Cyrus’s newest, closest friends. He faces homophobic microaggresions while developing feelings towards Cyrus until he finally finds the courage to confess and start something new at the last episode. The fact that T.J. didn’t come out as gay until the last episode does not diminish his worth as a gay character. He was groundbreaking too because he is the first gay love interest in a Disney Show (and I mean mutual, because otherwise, that title would go to Jonah Beck and I’m not sure he can be counted as canon anything).

And now everyone is focusing on Bobby and Liam on “Diary of a Future President,” which is what the writers are shooting for, but we cannot forget about Cami! She is a form of casual representation that we need more of in writing. There was no marketing for her by Disney as a gay character, and she portrays a realistic representation. She mentions her girlfriend, makes small comments like “you two are hetero goals,” and lets us glimpse into her life. And she doesn’t take over a room like Jack does, she’s there for Cami, and has a good relationship with her kids, as proven by Gabi trusting her to pick up Bobby and Liam from Jupiter. And then the significance of Cami freeing Bobby and Liam from a storage closet is something I touched on earlier *here*.

So why is Cami important? Because she is the casual representation we want and deserve! She’s not a big deal on the show, but she also not diminished. She doesn’t need to make headlines to be important. She’s real, and believable, and I’m hoping there’s more of her as well as characters like her. Casual representation is important too, and it’s important because she’s not the only queer character on the show, and the other queer person isn’t her love interest.

Hopefully I got my message across that Cami is the next step of queer characters in shows.

#diary of a future president #doafp #cartero #tennis boyfriends #andi mack #andi #ambi #jandi #cyrus #t.j. kippen #jamber #jonah #tyrus #marty #jonah beck

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years

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Put On Your Raincoats #10 | Kamikaze Hearts (Bashore, 1986)

Kamikaze Hearts is a movie about Sharon Mitchell and Tigr. Sharon Mitchell plays Mitch, a popular porn star. Tigr plays Tigr, a less popular porn star turned porn director. Mitch and Tigr are working together on a porno movie. Mitch and Tigr are lovers, having met previously on another porno movie. Mitch and Tigr are also addicts, and we see them shoot up together. Their relationship is strained, to say the least. Tigr is upset with Mitch for failing to show up for filming after having been booked by the cops. Mitch is upset with Tigr for broadcasting their relationship troubles and Mitch’s substance abuse issues to everyone within earshot. Kamikaze Hearts is a movie about a co-dependent relationship that’s falling apart. It’s also about the act of making movies, specifically porno movies. It’s directed by a woman, about a lesbian relationship and about the adult film industry with a semi-inside perspective, all characteristics that make the film noteworthy for reasons other than its actual quality. It’s also very good.

The movie is a mockumentary, not a documentary, and that becomes part of the movie’s text. We spend time on a porn set, and like in overtly fictional films like Boogie Nights and Skin Flicks, we see a bunch of professionals at work navigating the demands between art and commerce. (I have never been on a porn set, modern or golden age, but the consistency between the portrayals leads me to believe they’re fairly accurate.) The movie they’re making is about an opera singer played by Mitch. The producers coughed up the dough to rent a real theatre to use as a set and even hired a classically trained singer to do the singing. The singer, who shows up with her children (thankfully they’re not filming any sex scenes at this time), confesses her struggles with singing the music in the original language, gently arguing with Tigr who insists (correctly) that the audiences for these movies don’t really care. We hear from the makeup artist, an affable man who takes a lot of pride in his work, and who is complimented by Mitch for the great job he did hiding the pimples on her ass.

There are also less cheerful moments, as when an actress refuses to do a sex scene in front of a producer. “He's the worst sleazebag in the business”, she says. “Get one of your junkie girls, they'll do it for 50 cents.” To which he responds, “Get her off the set!” It’s such a raw, uncomfortable moment that it’s startling to realize that the producer was played by an actor and that this was all a performance. Yet it feels undeniably real, as do the moments when crew members complain that Mitch’s drug problems create a bad working situation. The producer at one point also threatens to get his higher ups involved. “You know, New York people,” he says euphemistically. In another scene he plies a model into working on a movie, slowly building rapport in a subtly predatory manner. We learn about code words used to warn the cast and crew about police raids (at this time, it was illegal to shoot porn in L.A.). There’s also a guy with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and a saxophone in one shot. What his deal is, we never find out.

We spend time with Mitch and Tigr and learn how their relationship (”a romance designed for the business”) came to be. Tigr talks about first falling for Mitch when they worked on a movie together, and we pore obsessively over the grainy video images of their scene. Mitch is seen in a leather jacket and sunglasses, her boyish hair fluttering in the wind as she’s driven around to capture footage for the movie. It’s an image that perfectly captures her allure and sex appeal while sidestepping the male gaze of her movies. But we start getting the sense that both ourselves and Tigr have been sold an image. (When asked about her heroes, Mitch lists both Gloria Swanson and Ronald Reagan, masters of self image.) In a party for the cast and crew, Mitch keeps on a costume and starts doing fake interviews, seemingly unable to turn it off. We see an intimate moment when Tigr and Mitch are locked in embrace, interrupted by Mitch jokingly shouting a dramatic line. It starts to seem pathological, as when Mitch is showing off her ability to balance an egg on her pussy before they film, an act that seems amusing in isolation but compulsive when viewed as part of a pattern. (In this scene, Mitch also makes fun of Kandi Barbour, who for better or worse etched herself into my brain when she rose from a pool in a wet t-shirt in Neon Nights. Folks, I’m not made of stone.) We get the sense that this might be a result of the business, and that Tigr might be a bit complicit too, as when Mitch starts to head for the bathroom to take a leak after doing a scene and Tigr asks, without missing a beat, “Can you film it?”

When asked later about what was true about the movie, Mitchell offered an evasive answer “Everything and nothing.” Was it an accurate portrayal of their relationship? “Probably not.” Yet there are moments of rawness and emotional vulnerability that are hard not to be moved by, as when Tigr seemingly sheds real tears after a fight. Juliet Bashore said the movie was storyboarded but not exactly scripted, leaving plenty of room for improvisation, and that a lot of what’s in the movie was her turning the camera on different cast members and letting them have their rap. The effect is seeing a number of people with varying levels of experience in the industry exorcise their (often ambivalent) feelings about their work. (This ambivalence also gives it more credibility as a behind the scenes portrayal.) The movie they were making wasn’t real, but only some of the people (and at least everyone who had a sex scene) knew that. (This movie also serves as a testament to the acting talent of some of these performers, to go from porn queen / stud affectations of their starring roles to the immediacy and grit of their work here.)

I watched Kamikaze Hearts the same weekend as The Decline of Western Civilization, and it shares with that other film some of that lightning in a bottle quality and the irreplaceable sense of being present in a moment. even if the exact moment was manufactured to different degrees in both films. (Both Mitchell and Tigr also give off strong punk vibes with their sense of style, the former having been loosely involved in the New York punk scene in the late ‘70s.) It also brings to mind Abbas Kiarostami’s Close-Up (which this preceded by a few years), as both films play with the documentary and narrative forms to mine deeper truths. The “climax” of the film, so to speak, has Mitch and Tigr both shoot up moments after Tigr chastised Mitch for wanting a hit with cameras present. I can’t vouch for the scene’s authenticity, thankfully having been nowhere near heroin my entire life, but it felt uncomfortably intrusive. Heroin is a sort of truth serum, they say, and Tigr unloads to the camera her insecurities and fears, letting us bask in her self-loathing in the devastating final moments. This relationship isn’t going to last, and neither are they, if things don’t change. Tigr retired from porno movies soon after the film was made. Mitchell left the business in the ‘90s. To my knowledge, both are still alive.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #kamikaze hearts #juliet bashore

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thequimmqueen · 4 years

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hm. you said you were thinking of kenmitch a lot lately. hm. ik u ship a different ship (mitch n maggie. its cute though in my hcs maggie is a lesbian) but what are ur thoughts?

First off, Just becouse i pair it and have Made Nextgens for them doesn't mean I can't Ship Other Stuff.

When i Entered The Fandom i Wanted to Know What people thought Would be The Most accurate Pairings and well.. Maggitch was in The List.

It's not The same as My Feelings for Carlover,as in,I Made Them Nextgens becouse i thought They were The Only ones to Ship each Other With/Make Children of, but actually Couse i Often picture Them being a pair of dorks With Great passion for mexican Culture.

Since they're Also opposites it's fun to Think about Them Being in love and stuff- But I'm Open to Shipping kenmitch too! (In my HCs Mitch Is Pansexual so.. That ain't a problem)

But Well! I've been thinking About them Hanging out! chatting About food They like, Bonding over Cooking recipes they've Tried to Make (Kenji can't Cook RIP), and embarassing anecdotes They Lived Troughout their Teenagehood, becoming closer like Friends- but there's actually Romantic tension in The Air and they're too awkward to Chop That dense feeling.

I've been Also thinking Into adapting The Ship in my Headcannons, Mitch Having a Crush for Kenji and Kenji Liking him too. But they're just so freaking awkward and Shy (Mitch Couse Kenji Is His idol and he doesn't wanna Look like a fool in front of him and Kenji Couse he doesn't wanna come off as a Creep to His #1 fan) That They never actually Get together.

They Both automatically Placed themselves In The friendzone due to Being too afraid to Make Their relationship Weird After The pre-Visualized rejection

But They do like- Develop a Bromance of some Sort! Yeah,It was a Romantic Kind where you Joke a Lot About Being in love With Your Best Friend (When it's Secretly true) but Then it was The Sort of Bromance That Is entirely platonic.

Then eventually Mitch falls for Maggie (in my Headcannons she can't Say no to Whatever Favor he asks Her couse he can Make a cute Begging Face and she's too Weak) and Asks Kenji for Advice. And Since he Hangs out a Lot in Taco mia and Is Good Friends With Both he goes for it and Helps Him out Couse "hey,if i can't Make him happy maybe Maggie Will"

You get it When i Say i can Ship Both right? Like,i don't Wanna seem like some sorta hater of New and Strange ships,i really don't Wanna seem it. I like kenmitch and Maggitch Both becouse it's fun to imagine different sorts of relationships for Each character and how a New and Interesting RareShip can work out! It's One of The fun Things i like of The Fandom!

Like,i Could Write you a Whole list of all The Hcs i Have for Kenji and Mitch and I'd be happy to. Just Wanna Make That Clear!

#amii anon

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gayasinstupidpodcast · 6 years

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Gay As In Stupid’s second episode is out! (pun intended)

Hey y’all! It’s Isaac and Aaron and we’re back with another episode of our Fantastically gay podcast, Gay As In Stupid! This month’s episode is about gay trans experiences, where me and Isaac share some of our experiences as gay trans men, talk about the history of societal and medical prejudice, and share an interview with a spectacular trans lesbian on her point of view!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud! Sorry for any audio goofs this episode! Recoding in my college dorm has proven to be a thotty whom we will have to get used to working with.

Ordinarily, me and Isaac would put our main sources under Further Reading at the top, but I (Aaron) found the main sources I had to go through for this month’s topic to contain disgusting levels of transphobia that I would feel irresponsible telling our listeners to read. If you want to know what I looked through and used, however, feel free to DM me @albert-dj-cashier

Aaron’s 2018 September Recs!

What The Trans?! (podcast)

A roughly hour-per-ep podcast by Michelle and Ashleigh, two trans women living in the U.K! The hosts are witty, informative, and compelling, and they talk about topics like the current events in UK trans politics, representation in media, institutionalized prejudice, and personal experiences! Their episodes are really fun as well as interesting, and they have a great dynamic!

Big Eden

This is an absolutely Classic gay feel-good film, and one of me & my friend Lauren’s personal favorites! It centers around a gay New York artist who returns to his childhood home in Montana to care for his grandfather, and finds himself having to deal with the loose threads he left behind (and Also finds an unexpected love interest). It’s cute, romantic, super funny, and doesn’t leave you with long spans of meaninglessly meaningful shots and call it Film.

Isaac’s 2018 September Recs!

Yank! A WWII Love Story: A New Musical

Follows Stu, a young man who gets drafted into World War II where he ends up becoming a photographer for ‘Yank Magazine, a journal for and by the servicemen’. In present day, Stu’s old journal is discovered, and his story of the war, and his romance with Mitch; a handsome Private he met during training. It’s fun, colorful and absolutely heartbreaking. The songs are memorable, and so are the characters. If you like heart-string pulling gay romances and strong lesbians, this production will make you horny!

MIKA

If you aren’t already listening to MIKA, then I don’t think you’ve been living yet. His songs are sweet and fun to dance to, and truly never get old. He’s gay and a talented singer-songwriter. The music he makes can be best described as Pop/Glam Rock (also GAY!!!) Love yourself and go give “Talk About You” and “Grace Kelly” a listen.

MARCY’S FULL AND WONDERFUL INTERVIEW UNDER THE READ MORE

Q: How do you identify? A: I am a trans woman and a lesbian.

Q: How do you feel trans straight people react to your identity? A: honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t personally know any straight trans people. I’d imagine that we have common grounds on dysphoria and trying to understand gender, but with regards to sexuality, I’m sure it’s kinda up in the air. I doubt there’d be like, hostility regarding my identity. Probably just general acceptance, maybe some minor prodding.

Side note: not to generalize, but from what I understand, straight trans women tend to have different experiences with self-discovery than bi or lesbian trans women. The former tend to figure things out earlier, are sometimes seen as more traditionally feminine, etc. Some of this is from rather TERFy science, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

Q: How do you feel your identity is perceived in the LGBT Community? A: from an intracommunity standpoint, I think that trans WLW in general are steadily becoming more accepted as we speak up about or lives and experiences. Many cis WLW, whether actively or passively, exhibit an alarming amount of transphobic beliefs, but I like to think they’re in the minority.

Q: How do you present your gender and what do it mean to you? A: I’m butch, so my experience with womanhood and femininity is… interesting, to say the least. I certainly don’t take a traditional approach to femininity, and I find that very empowering, especially as a trans woman. I don’t wanna force myself into a role that I’m not comfortable filling, just to appeal to what society expects of me. I wear suits and vests and I keep my hair short and I’ve honestly never even touched makeup, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Q: What role do you feel like the intersection of your gender and your sexualilty play in your life? A: my gender and my sexuality are both very important to me, the intersection thereof even moreso. Understanding that intersection has helped me piece together a lot of the questions I had growing up. To put it simply, figuring out that I’m not just trans, but also a lesbian, has helped me figure out like, the past eight-to-ten years’ worth of failed romantic endeavors. The way I experience relationships, the way I interact with people, the way I love are all impacted by both my gender and my sexuality; neither’s importance can be understated.

Q: Do you feel like your gender presentation makes people more prone to invalidate your identity? A: pardon my language but, of fucking course. Like, cis people and transphobes alike will find any reason they can to invalidate a trans person. But the second they find a trans woman who’s a lesbian, who isn’t presenting like a perfectly feminine stereotype, all bets are off my dude. Until I have like, B-cup tits and a soft face, I’m essentially a straight guy in most people’s faces. Which, eh, who cares at this point? Straight people have never understood butch womanhood. I don’t expect them to recognize a trans butch when they see one.

Q: Do you feel like your identity as a gay trans person makes it harder for you to receive proper medical care (hormones, sexual health, etc)? A: quite honestly, I don’t know yet. I’m still pre-HRT; I have yet to jump through the hoops and red tape necessary to get hormones and whatnot. I imagine it’ll be tough, though.

Q: How has your coming out process been different than if you were just trans or gay? A: the biggest difference, for me at least, is that it’s been a multi-step process. For a while I thought I was a bi cis man, then pansexual and agender, then a bi trans woman, and it wasn’t until ~June 2017 that I figured out I was a trans lesbian. Coming out to friends has always been easy; they pick up on new identities and pronouns fairly easy. Honestly, I don’t think my parents quite understand what being trans is right now, but we’re working on it.

Q: Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty over your attraction to women because of your gender identity? A: honestly? At least once a week, I have that dysphoric voice in my head telling me I’m just some creepy straight guy preying on lesbians. I know it isn’t true, it’s just self-doubt and internalized transphobia and TERF rhetoric echoing, but it’s hard to not think that, frankly. Especially when it’s repeated so often.

Q: Do you feel like your voice is heard/your identity is seen between media and the community? A: in media? Outside of a few niche places (and surprisingly, IDW’s Transformers comics), trans lesbians are largely pretty nonexistent. Of course, in the actual community we’re much more populous, but frankly we’re a little bit insular as we tend to mostly befriend and date one another. All in all, don’t think we’re entirely invisible, but I do think we could do with some more fictional representation, and to get more involved with the larger LGBT community.

Q: Is there anything else about your experience as a gay trans person you would like to add? A: admittedly, it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve felt truly comfortable around cis lesbians. Most of my relationships in the past few years have been with other trans girls. There’s a variety of reasons for this, and every woman’s experiences are her own, but for a long time I was afraid that cis lesbians just wouldn’t recognize me as a woman. Q: Would you like your instagram/tumblr to be linked in the episode description? A: sure! I’m @opossumghoul on tumblr and @opossumbutch on other social media

#gay as in stupid podcast #Gay Podcast #lgbt podcast #LGBT Creators #lgbt #gay trans

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 6 years

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Chapter 50 - Xanadu, Donna Summer and Dave Gahan in leather pants (Part Three)

In the previous chapter: Eddie is fascinated by Angie at the club, he dances with her and almost kisses her, but he's interrupted by Mike Starr, who wants to dance with the girl. Jerry gets mad at the bassist for taking liberties with Angie, their bandmates try to calm him down and Starr tells him he's not into her and only does it to tease him a little. Jerry then has a clarifying talk with Eddie, who admits his interest towards Angie, and the two of them agree to go for a sort of truce and avoid talking about her at all. The guys who lost the bet perform as the Village People and the crowd loves it. The morning after, Angie and Eddie are together on the beach, talking and joking, Eddie finds out Angie's friend will arrive in the afternoon and he's a little sad about it because he'd want some more time alone with her. They meet Mitch, alias Michelle, Eddie's old friend and Beth's neighbor, and Angie's almost intimidated by her beauty. Mitch asks him if he wants to surf some more with her but Vedder prefers to stay with Angie.

“Ok, I'm going then”

“Yes, Eddie... for the third time, you can go, don't worry. I promise you we won't burn your house down” Angie's sitting beside me on the sofa and rolls her eyes before turning to look at the guy who's standing on the doorway.

“Haha no, it's not for that. It's just... well, I'm sorry I have to leave you two alone...” it's nice of him to include me too, although at least two thirds of this room know exactly who he's more sorry for.

“No problem, Angie and I haven't seen each other since Christmas, we've got a lot of things to tell each other. It's gonna take me a minute but as you know our friend here needs a little encouragement, so we'll probably go pretty late until the evening” I already know I'll have to torture this bitch to have her tell me something. After I saw her at Christmas, and considering our phone calls since then, I was expecting to see the usual grieving and inconsolable Angie I'd have to cheer up. Yet I see she cheered herself up with no one's help this time. Well, no one...

“Right, you probably want to have some alone time too. Well, gotta go now” yes Eddie, thank you really, you're sweet, but I need to be alone with my best friend to talk and gossip about everyone and everything. And about you as well.

“Just go do your soundcheck, Eddie, we'll be alright” Angie repeats as she's covering the chocolate cake she baked with a napkin, well, what's left of it after our attack. Is she already putting it away?

“I already called Craig anyway”

“You trust us so much!”

“He'll come by at eight to pick you up. Or to lead you to Winter's, it depends if you wanna take Dina's car or not”

“Yes, please, let's take my car, so I can go back to L.A. right after”

“But only if you feel like driving, if you don't I told you, you can crash here at my place, it's ok”

“Thank you, Eddie, I'll see how the night goes. If I'm tired I'll gladly accept your invitation” I hope I won't have to accept it, I love Eddie's hospitality, but I've got the feeling I'd be a bit in the way”

“My friends are throwing some kind of party on the beach after the show, I think you'll take my offer”

“You didn't tell me” Angie remarks clearly surprised.

“Oh. Well, surprise!” Eddie briefly sets foot back in the living room, holding out his arms and showing a wide smile.

“It's not as surprise anymore” she scowls.

“When Craig and the guys are involved, everything's a surprise. Alright, gotta go now”

“Eddie, go away” Angie jokes throwing a pillow at him.

“See you later at the club”

“See ya. And thank you for the tour. And for cotton candy!” fuck it was good.

“You're welcome. It's a must after rollercoaster rides. See you tonight girls”

As soon as Eddie leaves and closes the door behind himself, Angie stands up and unfortunately takes away the dish with the cake.

“I'm exhausted, I guess I'll take a nap until tonight” my friend stretches her arms as she walks back to the couch and then just plops down yawning. I don't think so.

“You didn't tell me you've got a new puppy”

“A puppy?” she looks at me suspiciously.

“Yeah”

“What do you mean, I don't have dogs in Seattle” she really doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about, it's almost like I can see the wheels spinning in her head trying to figure out where I'm getting at.

“I don't mean dogs, it's another animal species...”

“Huh?”

“This one wags its tail too, and fawns on you of course, but it's a different kind of beast...”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, the one waking on two legs... who obey his princess' commands, all doe-eyed, and holds your hand on the scary rides at the carnival”

“You're not normal” she shakes her head not looking at me.

“I'm talking about the pup who's just left through that door”

“Yeah, at this point I got it, thank you”

“How come you didn't tell me?”

“Sure I told you! I also invited you over here to see his show”

“You told me it was a friend, not a... friend”

“I don't get it”

“You didn't tell me it was your friend” this time I add some eyebrows wiggle.

“I still don't get it”

“A friend” I repeat blatantly winking.

“Sure he's a friend, so what? I don't understand”

“Fuck you Angie, you understand me so well: FRIEND!” I insist air quoting myself.

“He's a friend, without those... things!” she mimics my air quoting.

“Why? Don't you like him? He's not a bad specimen at all”

“Would you stop talking about Eddie as if he was a piece of cattle?” she scolds me, surely I cut her to the quick.

“Sorry. A nice young colt?”

“Dina!”

“Ok, whatever. Why don't you him?”

“I didn't say that”

“You do like him then!”

“I didn't say that either”

“Yeah, sure, like I needed you to say anything at all. I already know”

“Great, you know everything already, so let's talk about something else” Angie crosses her legs on the couch and frowns, a clear signal for me to let go.

“Right. Let's talk about Sean: did the Merman send pictures to you too?”

“You mean the ones with the seaweed jacket or those where he imitates the faces of mantas before throwing them back into the water?” the frown turns into her usual grin.

“Don't tell me he didn't send you the ones with him wearing a bikini?!”

“Sure he did, I only decided to remove them permanently from my memory. Thank you for reminding me”

“That jerk is having the time of his life. In spite of us”

“He has to balance and compensate for the other jerk, who's now become a serious person” Angie laughs as she mentions the astounding transformation of Richard the misfit.

“He didn't even get drunk at Christmas, almost scary”

“He didn't even go around throwing stones at people's decorations”

“He didn't even go to the shopping center to tell children queuing up to meet Santa that he was an imposter”

“Eeeeeh love changed him” she puts her hand on her heart and blinks dreamily, thinking she's funny. As if she hadn't batted those Maybelline lashes at Eddie the exact same way until five minutes ago.

“Why are you still the same then?”

“You're still the same pain in the ass too, still single?”

“Yeah but it's a choice. I mean, I've just started college, I want to look around first. Especially now that I have more options” I had one girlfriend in eighteen years, well, one and a half, I've got to make up for wasted time, ok?

“The analogy with cattle market goes on”

“Hey, it's true! You can't compare Boise's with Los Angeles' population, it's the law of large numbers. And then, you know, girls, but also guys... I mean, students are all far away from home, in a larger more open minded context, they're more open to cultural stimulus and less inhibited by provincialism and its prejudices” in Boise it's easier to find a hit man rather than a lesbian, not because there are no lesbians, but because they're well hidden.

“Do you mean gay people come out more easily?”

“And bisexual. And also just curious people. And who am I to deny help in satisfying someone's curiosity?”

“No special girl though”

“I'm not in a hurry, my dear. But you seem to be on the right track”

“Ok, let's see what's on tv”

“We're up in fifteen minutes, where the fuck were you?” a guy with long brown hair partially tied up in a small pony tail on top of his head walks up to us with a threatening attitude as soon as we get backstage.

“Thank you for your warm welcome, Stone. This is my friend Dina. Dee, this is Stone Gossard, he plays guitar and, yes, that's his real name” Angie literally jumps between me and the guy with the guitar.

“Nice to meet you. Anyway it's not our fault, those guys didn't want to let us in” I point at the security guys.

“Weren't you with them? I'm gonna tell them off. I warned them!” the knight in a shiny armor called Eddie addresses his friend who led us here, then storms away to tell something to the security people.

“Oh well, we're here now, who cares!” I try to defuse tension, which seems to be palpable given the faces of the other musicians and I don't know if it's actually because we're late, because of the emotions for the imminent show or because the apparent leader of the band is angry.

“I stopped at the to talk to Diego for a minute and told the girls to go, I didn't think they'd be rebuffed” Craig justifies himself with no one really, not with Eddie who disappeared somewhere.

“Come on, nothing bad happened. And sorry for the rough welcome, I'm Jeff” a big guy with gentle eyes and a weird hat holds out his hand for me to shake it and remembering the conversations with Angie I recognize him as Eddie's roommate in Seattle. One by one the other band members and roadies and the singer of Alice in Chains introduce themselves, I immediately recognize Layne 'cause I saw him in a couple of videos.

“Anyway Angie and her beautiful friend are to blame too, they held me hostage at Eddie's place giving me cake. I couldn't say no to these sweet ladies” Craig goes on and puts a suspicious arm around my shoulders.

“And where's this cake? You didn't even bring us one slice?” Mike, the guitarist, whines “I bet it was a chocolate cake”

“Actually, it was” I admit basically breaking his heart.

“I guess everybody ate my cake, huh?” Eddie appears behind our back, exactly behind Angie's ear, with a beer in his hand.

“There's still half of it, don't worry” she reassures him patting his back and he offers her a second bottle of beer from out of nowhere.

“Are you sure they won't throw us out of the club if they catch us drinking?” I don't wanna be the party pooper, I just wanna be sure about the situation to stay away from trouble.

“Nah, they don't really card you here, anyway it's safer not to drink in the club, here in the backstage it's ok.” Craig reassures me and he still hasn't loosen his grip, actually he's holding tighter “And you're with me, you're safe”

“I'm gay” I learned it's better to nip things like this squarely in the bud. Also, when I say it our little group gets casually silent, even music stops in those two seconds. Well, that's better, I won't have to repeat.

“Ok. Can you be gay and drink with me at the same time?” Craig plays dumb but it's evident he's a little disappointed, even though he's being zen about it.

“Haha sure, no gay laws against that”

“Great, let's go, darling!” Craig pushes me into a hallway and everybody tags along. I spot a small group of three, four people chatting in front of a door. One of them is a very tall girl with glasses and long blonde dreadlocks. For a moment I feel like Angie feels 90% of the time. She's with three guys, a blonde and two dark haired ones.

“Hey Jerry, Stone'd kill for that vest, where did you get it?” Angie makes a joke about blondie's outfit. Apart from the multicolor vest, he's wearing red long johns and white shorts with skull print. And I thought I was daring too much matching a plaid skirt and a Little Mermaid's t-shirt. Anyway, clothes are not the things that catch my attention the most. It's the guy's name that sets off an alarm in my head: Jerry?

“I'm right here anyway” Stone complains giving Angie an apparently angry, but actually amused look. He is that Jerry.

“Sean knitted it for me! What? Don't you believe me? Now you look at him and see this bad, ugly, extremely gross drummer, but he's a champ at crochet” the asshole answers as he points at one of his friends.

“Hey! That's not true! I'm not bad!” the guy wipes invisible tears off his eyes.

“Great, you made him cry, are you happy now?” Angie jokingly scolds Jerry and I'm more and more dumbfounded. His friend is crying as a joke, but Jerry hurt you for real, how can you be so nonchalant?

After a small show of Angie and the blond amazon giving paper napkins to Sean, another round of meeting and introducing starts and I can't help clenching my teeth when it's Jerry's turn. He hands me a beer then opens the bottle with an opener attached to his key ring. I coldly thank him. He must have imagined I know everything.

“Why do you even talk to him?” I ask Angie when we're alone, trying to get the best front row places. She's not very happy, she'd rather be not so close to the stage, but I convinced her with the pretext of taking better pictures.

“Who?”

“Jerry! How can you talk to him? How can everybody? After he was a jerk to you” we're right in front of the stage, that's basically as tall as Angie.

“Well, it's very easy for everybody else: they don't know” she shrugs. That's so Angie, both shoulders shrugging and secrets.

“What do you mean they don't know?”

“We kept it low profile”

“Nodoby knows you broke up? Or nobody knows you were together at all?”

“Both. Except for Eddie and Mike” she reveals turning her back to the stage as soon as the music in the background gets louder, so that we can face each other and communicate more easily.

“And why didn't Eddie punch him in the face? Or did he?” he can't be on tour with him without a nice fistfight.

“No, he didn't”

“Surely because you told him not to, that'd be the only reason”

“I didn't... oh well, now that I think about it, technically yes” Angie stops in the middle of her thoughts and I was right as usual.

“I knew that”

“Anyway it's easy for me too, it's in the past now. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm not mad at him anymore, but...”

“But you've got the new stallion now, so who gives a fuck, right?” if this is the reason I can only agree, good for you, sis! Even though I can't stand Jerry getting away with this.

“You're such a dork” she states without looking at me, observing the people slowly piling up under the stage around us.

“You are the dork and I don't need to explain why, do I?” I'm serious now and not because I got mad or something. I've known this dork since we were children and I can't just let go without trying everything to have her open her eyes, every fucking time.

“I don't... I don't want to delude myself” she admits not so easily as she seems extremely concentrated on the club's floor.

“Since I've arrived I've seen no trace of illusions, only very tangible signals. Whale-sized signals, Angie”

“Sometimes illusions are so strong they seem real”

“But it's worth running the risk sometimes, I can assure you”

“He's got an ex girlfriend” she says after a while, right when I think I had the last word.

“So what? Is she stalking him? Did she threaten to kill you?”

“No no. It's just... I think he's getting closer to me because he misses her. I don't know her, she could as well be here now” she looks around as if she was actually looking for this mysterious ex, the perfect bugbear for Angie not to admit and deal with her true insecurities.

“Sure, he misses her so much he didn't even mention her today”

“It doesn't mean anything, he's very private, he doesn't talk about his shit all the time”

“Listen, I don't know anything about this girl or how did they break up and why. And I don't even know shit about him, apart from the couple of things you've told me these last months. But there's one thing I know and it's that the guy who's on stage right now, trying to untangle that guitar cable can't take his eyes off you” Angie suddenly turns around to look at the stage and little Eddie, who's been lovingly staring at her the whole time, feels caught red-handed and looks down first, then back up at her with a guilty smile.

“Eddie's too-” she shakes her head almost imperceptibly as she waves at him.

“Angie, shut up”

“But-”

“If you don't want to get me angry, don't finish the sentence”

“How do you know how it ends?” she asks with a sad smile.

“I know, I know you”

“If you know me, you'll understand me”

“I understand you but since I know you, I know that if you came here to California it's not just to meet me or see your friends play as you can easily do in Seattle too. I know and you know”

“You're right” she folds her arms against her chest and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“And if you came this fare, if you took this step you'd never take, it means you secretely believe it's worth it”

“I missed him” she whispers. Actually she must have spoken at a normal volume but it was barely audible with the loud music in the club.

“What? I can't hear you?” of course I play dumb.

“I missed Eddie, I wanted to see him, to be with him... for a while”

“You're in too deep, darling!” I snicker victoriously.

“Do you think I don't know? I'm so stupid” Angie steals another glance of Eddie, busy with some roadies around an amp, then just walks away.

“Hey, where are you going now?” I huff and follow her. Why does she always have to make things difficult?

“We can't stay here, there'll be hell here, I can't take pictures if people kicks my camera crowd surfing”

The concert is great. I mean, the concerts, Alice in Chains are so good and it's hard to admit it, but Jerry's a fucking guitar god. Pearl Jam, that's their name now, are a surprise. I'm not saying I was expecting them to suck, after all if they've been called to open for a band who got signed by a major they had to be good, but I didn't think they were that good. Angie told me they'd been playing together for a short time and Eddie had recently replaced the old singer and was still shy. Shy my ass. Maybe it's because he was playing in a familiar place in front of a crowd that was half his friends, but I saw a cool aggressive singer, who also joked with the audience and confidently owned the micro-stage. After the end of the show we spend half an hour more at the club, then we go out and we all start splitting and going on different cars and exchanging info about where the party's taking place. I thought about something round here but if I didn't get it wrong I heard them mentioning Dana Point, that's basically half way between here and Los Angeles. That's great because Eddie volunteers for driving my car taking me and Angie and this means one hour driving less for me. And it also means one hour more for the love birds to be together in a small space and for Angie I'm willing to sacrifice myself and be their third wheel. Anyway, since my friend is a dumbass she's got the smart idea to ask Michelle to come with us. I'm sorry for Eddie but the face he makes when Angie gets into the backseat with me is priceless. I try and save the situation telling I feel I can drive but Eddie's too kind and too polite to let me. Angie vs. Logic: 1-0. My friend basically ghosts out on us during the ride, despite Eddie's attempts at including her in the conversation. She just makes some remarks here and there and remains silent for the rest of the drive, while Mitch and the guy talk about surfing, about an alleged crisis of vert as opposed to street skateboarding and the width of a certain model of bass guitar.

Eddie parks the car, like anybody else, next to the railway and as soon as we get out of the car he's already arm in arm with Angie, just not to waste any more time.

“So? Do you like it?” he asks pointing at the landscape as we walk along the bridge over the railway that leads to the beach.

“Yes, it looks so peaceful” my friend replies and it means she maybe got her voice back.

“It's quiet during the day too, Doheny is never too busy,” Michelle adds “but it's one of the best beaches to me”

“This is where I surfed for the first time” Eddie reveals and Angie finally looks at him in the eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was eleven, I used to came here to spend the weekend with my friend Christopher, who's Jamie's cousin actually” he explains, referring to one of the many friends of his I met tonight.

“Who set up the party” the girl points out.

“I rode my first waves with a twelve dollar board. It was a fucking coffin, full of craters. It was like surfing on a fuckin' log!”

“I assume surf technology took giant steps forward since then” Angie jokes as we get to the end of the bridge and enter some kind of small park with palm trees and picnic tables on one side, under the light of a long line of torches. Here are the others, who already started the party and were waiting for us.

“Hehe yeah, and I can afford something more decent to surf on. Anyway, I don't care, I'll never forget riding those first four waves on the log” Eddie's in a nostalgic mood and I, and I bet Angie too, can see waves rolling in his eyes.

“One of those waves in particular left a mark on you!” Michelle exclaimes, walking up to Eddie and jokingly lifting up his sweatshirt, pointing at something on his chest or belly, I can't really see anything in the dark. Angie lets go of the singer with the pretext of questioning the girl.

“Why? What did he do?” she asks with a little too much emphasis.

“Do you remember not so long ago, when I told you about surfboard leashes?” Eddie chimes in as he wants to explain himself, as we get to Stone's table.

“Yes”

“Well, those in 1975 were so stretchy that the board would fly back at you at supersonic speed”

“Breaking your face” Mitch adds showing a small red dot under her chin.

“Or planting against your sternum, like in my case” Eddie takes off his hoodie, shirt and t-shirt in a single move and stands right under one of the torches, pointing at a small scar we finally can see. Luckily Angie's already sitting because given the expression briefly appearing on her face, I think she'd have fallen face first into the sand without support.

“What are you talking about?” Jerry asks and honestly he could as well mind his own business.

“Battle scars” the blond surfer girl explains, as she helps herself with chips and beer.

“If we start listing all the bones Eddie and I broke, we'll end by dawn maybe” Craig makes room for me to sit beside him. He's clearly trying to be gentler than before not to give the impression he was kind only when he thought he could hit on me. There's nothing wrong with that, at least it's nice to find some sensitivity and empathy in people for once, it's just I've been observing this kind of behaviour all my life and I can't help but smile to myself when I notice.

“What about you Angie? Were you a daredevil child too?” Michell wakes her up from her daydreaming.

“Me? Uhm actually no, not at all”

“No?”

“The first and last time I set my foot on a skateboard I broke my coccyx, so my career in that sense was really short”

“Ouch! That must hurt!” Jeff grits his teeth and insinctively puts a hand agains his butt.

“This is new, you never told us. Why?” Stone is the most surprised of them all.

“Anyway show us the scar or it didn't happen, right?” Craig turns to look at Eddie, who turns to his friend like he wanted to jump at his throat any minute now.

“I was there and I can say it's true” I save both Angie from embarrassment and Craig from death.

“You were there because you were the one who put me on that fucking skateboard”

“We could be Toni Hawk and Rodney Mullen in a dress!” I complain as I help myself a big serving of popcorn and throw a couple at my friend.

“I've never worn a dress in my whole life”

“I don't think so” it's Angie's categorical answer when someone has the crazy idea to suggest jumping in the ocean in the middle of the night. I'd have been surprised if she accepted.

“Ok. Who stays on the beach cleans everything up!” Jamie yells as he takes off his pants and throws himself towards the water, followed by the whole gang, me included. Someone else is missing though, not just my friend. After I froze my butt in the icy water, I swim back to the shore and walk up to the beach, where Michell hands me a towel. I wrap myself up with it like a burrito, she slowly dabs herself with another towel.

“Have you seen Eddie?” I ask her because I left him my clothes and bag and I can't see them where I left them.

“He went on the rocks with his girlfriend, down there.” she says with a wink, then points at a series of rocks not far from here “I'd wait a minute before disturbing them”

With his girlfriend? Is she here? Who the hell is she? Was she among us all this time? Or has she just arrived? And how did Angie take it? And where is she now? The answer to my questions comes after I take a few jumps towards the spot indicated by Mitch. There he is, Eddie, sitting on a rock and watching the stars with his girlfriend: Angie. Who else? If Michelle considers her as Eddie's girlfriend, it counts for their friends too. After all it's quite obvious, it took me ten minutes to figure it out.

They're very cute together but I'm fuckin' freezing and I want my stuff back, I need to put some clothes on asap if I don't want to die. I walk up to them cautiously, from behind, and I end up eavesdropping what they say. But I swear I didn't want to! Anyway, their conversation speaks for itself.

“You could go too anyway”

“Nah, I don't really feel like...”

“Bullshit, you just don't want to leave me alone”

“No, I just don't want to get sick in the middle of a tour”

“Your tour mates aren't giving a fuck”

“One more reason to stay safe, there must be at least one healthy person”

“You don't have to babysit me tonight too, Eddie, you've already been doing it for two days”

“But I love it... can I babysit you a little longer?”

“Hahaha sure”

“Listen, I'm gonna keep seeing these assholes for a while, but you're leaving tomorrow. Do you mind if I'd rather spend this time with you?”

“No, I don't. But I never figured you for a masochist”

“I guess you'll just have to get used to that”

******************************************************************************************************************************************

“Angie? It's time to wake up!” this is my fourth attempt and if I keep on knocking on the bedroom's door it's only because I know she has to go back to Seattle. If it was up to me, I'd let her sleep to keep her here with me a little longer.

“Yeah, just a minute...” I hear her mumble through the door, exactly like the other three times.

Maybe we should have stayed awake without sleeping at all, considering she leaves so early in the morning, but she didn't resist, she was dead tired. So I stayed awake alone, sitting on my rooftop smoking, looking at the stars and pondering about my stupidity. Two days, I've had her here with me for two whole days and when I saw her for the first time on the beach and heard the news two days seemed such a long time to me. Now what? They're gone and what did I do? Nothing. I mean, it was great, we spent a lot of time together and had fun and I believe I won't forget a single second I spent with Angie. But she'll be gone in a little more than one hour and I didn't tell her anything or kiss her. Why is it so difficult? I keep trying to push the conversation in a certain direction all the time but there's always some kind of diversion taking us somewhere else, somewhere not necessarily unpleasant but generally very far from being in he arms. I was pretty close a couple of times, the first one I got interrupted by Mike Starr who was in the mood for dancing, the second one it was Dina. Actually she isn't to blame, she just wanted to get dressed and avoid hypothermia. And I could have got a move on anyway, I mean, if I can't even kiss a girl in a secluded corner of a small romantic beach under the starlight with the sweet low surge of the ocean waves as a soundtrack... well, I don't know then, I'm just hopeless I guess. Anyway, that was it and I can't go back, I can only look and think ahead and try to make the right choices in the future. I walk back into the kitchen and I reach in my pocket to check if the tape I made for Angie's still there. And where else would that be anyway? Normal guys simply hit on girls, I give out love-themed mix tapes that'll be heard by the receiver when she's like miles away. I didn't get anywhere acting as an adult, right? Now I'm gonna try boyish techniques...

I check out the time once again when the coffee is ready and go scouting in the bathroom area. I put an ear to the door to hear any possible sound but I can't hear anything. I cautiosly enter and like I thought, I find it empty. Thank god you were an early bird, Angie! I knock once again at Angie's door, that is at my bedroom's door, and no one answers. I slowly open it and she's still in bed, as it turns out.

“Angie” I call her from the doorway a couple of times but she doesn't move an inch. I walk up to the bed almost intimidated, maybe by her beauty or by her low snoring or by the word LOSER written on the t-shirt she borrowed. I get right beside her and keeping my eyes on her all the time I sit down on the bed next to her, trying not to make a sound. And I don't know why since I'm supposed to wake her up and should be loud instead.

“Angie, wake up... Angie!” I shake he shoulders softly but I get nothing more than a groan of complaint as a response.

“Mmmhh”

“Come on, Angie, it's late” I go on and she licks her lips and tilts her head to the left towards me, as if she looked right at me but keeping her eyes shut all the time. For a moment I think she's about to wake up but then she parts her lips slightly and starts breathing deeply, while her head falls back into the pillow in slow motion.

I feel more and more like the writing on the t-shirt Angie's wearing because I'd sit here just looking at her sleeping for hours, examining the smallest gestures and movements, and it's like I'm walking on the thin line between being in love and being a creep.

“Angie, I know you wanna sleep but I also know that once you wake up, you'll kill me if I make you miss the bus to Seattle. Get up, come on” I shake her again and this time she babbles something more comprehensible that I've already heard.

“Yeah, just a m...” she can't even say the whole sentence and she's already back to sleep.

“Angie” I lean down on her until I can feel her breath against my cheeks and find out it's a very nice feeling. And weird ideas intrude my mind.

“Don't even think about it” I tell myself as I try to look away from Angie's lips but it's easier said than done.

“She's not the Sleeping Beauty and you're not Prince Charming, you dumbass” I repeat to myself as my mouth follows a track of its own.

I'm an inch away from a kiss and I feel lightheaded, I don't know if it's for the umcomfortable position, for sleep-deprivation or excitement or because I'm basically breathing in only the carbon dioxide the girl I love is breathing out. I barely brush the tip of my lips against hers then immediately back up, once I realize what I'm actually doing. Is this the first kiss I wanna give to her? While she's asleep? While she can't react and tell me to fuck off? I lay down beside her, resting my head on the same pillow, and I look at her face trying to fix every single detail in my mind, to commit this moment to memory and never forget it. Then I get up from the bed.

“Sorry, Angie, there's no other way” Daydream Nation's cd is in my stereo, I select track number 5 and crank up the volume before pressing PLAY.

“FUCK!” Angie exclaims as she abruptly sits up on the bed.

“GOOD MORNING!” I yell over the music without turning it off.

“WHAT... WHAT TIME IS IT?”

“IT'S TIME... hehe it's time to get up” I giggle and turn down the volume to more human levels.

“Ok, I'm gonna get up now” Angie holds her head between her hands then look around still confused.

“Forgive me, princess, but you wouldn't wake up, I tried everything”

“Everything?” she asks and accurately avoids looking at me. She must be angry.

“Well, yeah, calling and shaking you didn't work...”

“I'm sorry, I'm... I'm gonna get dressed and ready now” Angie lifts the covers and gets out of bed immediately, going straight for her backpack and looking for something inside, still without looking at me. For a moment there I think I see her blushing.

“Sure, I'll leave you alone now. And... well, I made coffee if you want it” I add as I leave.

“Great, thanks”

“Anyway you could have taken a slice of cake” I scold her as we get out of the car.

“No, it's yours. And I had plenty of it yesterday” says Angie and now she's vaguely more alive and talkative than earlier, although I can see she's tired.

“One more bite wouldn't have killed you”

“No! And I got cookies anyway. And also the sandwiches you made me. By the way, you shouldn't have, I could buy something once in L.A.”

“Look, I know you're saying this because you think they're not edible and don't wanna offend me. I can assure you they're good”

“Hahaha I trust you, don't worry, it's not that. I meant you already did a lot for me”

“Uhm maybe I like doing things for you, is it bad?”

“No, it's not. Thank you anyway”

“You're welcome”

We keep walking until we get to the fucking bus station where we'll have to say bye in a while. And I know I'll meet her again in a few days but I also know it's gonna be different in Seattle. I mean, it is different now, here in San Diego, and it could have been even more different. In Seattle it's all the same and knowing me and knowing Angie's insight, it'll be the same for a while.

“That's mine, the third from bottom” Angie points towards a white bus with blue, red and yellow stripes on the side parked at the other end and that's where we head to, as I zip my jacket and pull up the hood over my head because of the cold morning wind.

“Uh I almost forgot” of course I didn't forget it, not even for a minute, I've been turning it in my hand inside my pocket for an hour.

“What?”

“Something for you, for the bus ride” I show her the cassette and I knew she's have smiled but I wasn't ready for that kind of wonder, I'm never ready for that.

“Is it your home?” she asks referring to our old conversation. She showed me her home, the songs she takes shelter in, and it'd be my turn now.

“Yeah, for some months now...”

“Your new home in Seattle, huh? I'm curious...” Angie looks at it although nothing's written on it, as if she could unlock its secrets from its blank cover. She doesn't understand all it takes is looking into my eyes: she believes I put my new life in Seattle on tape, whereas I was talking about the last few months I spent slowly and hopelessly falling in love with her.

“I didn't write titles of course”

“So that I can live the moment listening to it?” will I survive one week without her adorably making fun of me?

“Also” I reply and I must look not very amused because her voice changes, although I can't see why.

“Hey, I was just kidding... I like the idea of being surprised, I did it too”

“Hehe sure, I know, you're talking like I got upset or something”

“Aren't you upset?”

“No, why would I?”

“I don't know, you're strange”

“Strange? You mean, more than usual?”

“Hehe yes, you... you look sad”

“Well it must be because I am sad”

“Why? What happened?” her porcelain face becomes worried.

“What happened... what's happening here, now... you leaving...”

“Are you sad because I'm going back home?” Angie looks at me as if I spoke another language.

“Yeah... I mean, my little house on the beach will be empty again. And I'll miss you, you know” it takes me a lot to make this half admission and Angie doesn't react as I'm expecting.

“Hahaha shut up!” she basically blurts out laughing at my face as we make our way across the bus station.

“It's true”

“Oh Eddie, do you know what you need?” she sighs and asks what really looks like a rhetorical question.

“What?” you to stay?

“A girlfriend, Eddie. You really should find yourself one”

“Ah. D'you think so?” the conversation takes an unexpected turn.

“Yes”

“Well, ehm, yeah, maybe. It's not easy though”

“It'd be very easy for you, if only you didn't make your life so difficult”

“You're absolutely right about that”

“If you just stopped building castles in the air, maybe you'd realize it's easier than you think”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you should shake off this idea of yours of the perfect girl and look around”

“Perfect girl?”

“Yeah, the girl who appears from out of nowher and turns your life upside down, who makes you lose your mind with a gesture or, how did you call it, a detail that drives you crazy. You said your problem was that you fall in love too easily. Well, it looks like the exact opposite to me. I'm not saying you should get with the first girl you meet but maybe you could stop staring at the pedestal waiting for someone to climb on it and give an opportunity to normal girls”

“Pedestal, but... what the fuck are you talking about?”

“All I'm saying is that if you stopped waiting for the mythical ideal girl, maybe you'd notice that the right girl for you is already there and she's right before your eyes but you don't even notice” she states as we get right in front of her bus, which is already surrounded by a small group of travellers and sleepy accompanying persons like me.

“Really?” I was almost getting mad at her but I like this part of her speech. I like it a lot.

“Yes, it could be someone pretty close to you, a friend you don't even consider” you think I don't consider you, you're so silly.

“Please forgive me, Angie, it's kinda early and I can't get all the shades and subtleties of the spoken language. Are we still talking hypothetically or do you mean someone specific?”

“I don't know, what do you think?”

“I don't know, I wouldn't ask you if I did”

“A specific person”

“Ok...” I take a step towards her.

“There's a girl who could, I mean, who is perfect for you, but you don't give a fuck about her”

“That's what you say” another small step.

“I say it 'cause I know”

“Maybe you're wrong” third step, at the third one I'll be all over her.

“I hope so, because she's such a gorgeous girl and you must be blind not to notice her. Apart from the fact she's beautiful and a force of nature, you basically love the same things and you should see the both of you when you talk. There's so much chemistry!” she talks very fast, too fast for six o'clock in the morning.

“Angie, who the hell are you talking about?” I'd love to think about a sudden boost of self esteem and confidence but I'm smellin' a rat.

“I already know what you're gonna say, you know? She's only a friend, I can't, blah blah...But that's your mistake, separating love from friendship, because before being lovers you have to be partners and friends, and you and Michelle have this deep connection that-”

“Michelle” it's not a rat, it's pure shit.

“You'd be perfect together”

“MICHELLE?!” I must have crazy eyes or maybe I'm screaming a little too loud because Angie flinches and backs up.

“Yeah! See? I told you, I bet you didn't even think about her!”

“Actually I didn't”

“Well you should!”

“Tell me you're kidding”

“Hehe no!” she laughs. She laughs. And I'm about to lose my patience.

“Angie, being with Mitch would be some kind of incest, I've known her for twenty years or something, she's like a sis-”

“She's like a sister, we're just friends, blah blah... just like I told you before! I knew that”

“So... you're saying the solution to all my problems would be getting together with my best friend who lives one thousand miles away from me?” I take a deep breath and try to keep calm.

“Long-distance relationships can work, if there's trust and love”

“Between Mitch and I there's no trust or love, nothing's there, Angie. Our friendship is too deep and apart from that she doesn't like me that way and I don't like her that way”

“You don't like her?”

“NOT IN THAT WAY!” I raise my voice again and as I look around I notice I caught the attention of the other passengers.

“You're an idiot, Eddie, let me tell ya” Angie shakes her head and pulls back up her backpack that was slipping off her shoulder.

“If that's what you think...”

“You're too fuckin' picky! I see you can do that but... I don't know, I can't work you out” why is she getting all worked up? I'm getting all worked up too.

“You're the one to talk” I can't hold back this time but my allusion goes unnoticed.

“I could understand you didn't want Violet, to a certain extent, because she was very distant from your world and you didn't have anything in common. But Michelle?! She's a musician, a surfer, a skater, likes sports, she's an environmentalist and socially commited! She told me about what she does, what you do, for homeless people. And the fact she knows you so well is a plus to me, because she knows how to approach you and take care of you, she knows your flaws and weaknesses and can understand you better than anyone else. But you... you don't wanna hear about it! I... Fuck, I don't know?! I'd be curious to know what a girl must look like for you to like her, since I know you I've never seen a girl you like, not even one by mistake. Who knows what did your exes look like? They must have been some kind of living goddesses to b-” Angie keeps talking and talking and at some point I stop listening to her because the more I listen the more I get mad so I just put an end to this bullshit in the only possible way: I reach for her nape, pull her head toward me and kiss her.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

I'm swimming. Weird right? Even weirder is the fact I can perfectly breathe under water. And I don't even have gills! I know because as I look for Eddie in the dark depths of this, I don't know, sea? Lake? While I hear him calling me and try to reach him, I touch the side of my face and neck, expecting to find some kind of openings but nothing's there.

“Angie!” there is Eddie's voice again so I stop asking myself silly questions about my underwater respiration.

“I'm coming!” I answer as I move towards a bright spot in the distance. 'Cause actually I'm not really swimming, but I'm not walking either, it's something in between. The light turns out to be closer than expected and in a minute find myself in front of a small rusty spotlight pointing down towards the seabed. Following the light trail I finally find what I've been looking for.

“Angie...” I hear him calling again but more weakly. I dive-bomb towards Eddie's silhouette, slumped over between two rocks. Besides the amphibious skills, I'm clearly very strong too because I throw away one of the big rocks with one hand and I use the other to grab Eddie by his arm and drag him up with me as I swim towards the surface. The rise is very long, I'm fast but it seems to me I've been swimming for hours before I finally get out of the water. I hold on to the floating bed base and manage to climb on it, pulling Eddie up with me and saving him. But is he safe for real? I look at him and he's so pale, I try and shake him and slap him but he doesn't move.

“Eddie...” I lean on him to try and check his breath but nothing comes out of those sweet lips. The first aid classes I took finally turn out to be useful, although I wish I would never need those. I lift his chin tilting his head back as much as possible, I open his mouth delicately but quickly and check inside with my fingers to verify that the airway is clear and there's nothing that could be dangerous, I pinch his nostrils closed with my fingers and, always putting pressure on the jaw, I take a deep breath in and place my lips tightly over his to blow big and quick breaths. I back up and release his nose for five seconds then start it all over again, two, three, four times. I place two fingers on his strong neck checking for a pulse I can't feel, I lay my hand at the center of Eddie's chest and push for thirty times, as they taught me, using my whole upper body weight to provide all the force I have. I wanna cry but I can't, this is not the right moment. I go back to Eddie's lips, desperately trying to blow life inside him, when at some point I feel something weird: his mouth is not frozen anymore, it moves, his lips tenderly curve upwards. I pull away abruptly and I see him staring at me with his ocean blue eyes and a dimpled smile.

“You love me then?” he asked amused.

“YOU'RE AN IDIOT!” I yell at his face punching his pale chest, right where I pushed with my whole self a minute ago.

“Angie...” Eddie doesn't lose his cool, he keeps smiling at me and starts tracing the tips of his fingers across my back, first through my soaked t-shirt and then right under it.

“That's a pretty cruel prank to pull!” I scold him again, but he just rest his other hand on my shoulder first, then takes the lock of wet hair stuck against my cheek and pushes it away from my face “You scared me to death”

“I know you want to slap my face now, but I also know you'd be mad if I didn't kiss you again”

“I...”

“Angie...” with a delicate but quick gesture, Eddie pushes me sideways and turns me on my back, basically inverting our positions, and starts kissing me like a madman.

It's all strange and normal at the same time, everythings warm and bright and enveloping and I can hear music in the distance. But I can only hear the bass and percussions, as if it came from underwater or from another room, and I can't understand what song it is. It just makes me wanna dance. I pull away from Eddie and lean over towards the water's edge, trying to recognize the melody, but he doesn't like the parting. I can barely see the frown on his face before one last kiss, that's almost a bite, and before he throws me back into the water.

I can't see anything at all, all I see is me

That's clear enough

And that's what's important, to see me

My eyes can focus

My brain is talking

It looks pretty good to me

“FUCK!” I wake up startled, the taste of a kiss still on my lips and Sonic Youth raping my ears and brain.

“GOOD MORNING!” the kisser, actually the real life version of him, greets me snickering and I feel so fucking embarrassed for the adventures of my subconscious.

“WHAT... WHAT TIME IS IT?” I ask him the first thing that comes to mind just to avoid silence.

“IT’S TIME… hehe it’s time to get up” Eddie finally decides to end the torture but his dimpled smile only reminds me how close I was to those dimples in my dream.

“Ok, I’m gonna get up now” I hesitate a little more while Eddie explains how he tried to wake me up, then I actually get out of bed and reach for my backpack, I take my clean underwear and pretend to look for something else to avoid looking at him and see those lips that... Why am I like this?!

“I didn't write titles of course”

“So that I can live the moment listening to it?” I joke as I try to penetrate the cassette box with my eye to get to know the content in advance. I'm very curious about Eddie's home, I want to know him better. I know something about his music taste, I know The Who are his favorite band and he likes Butthole Surfers and Minor Threat. Either that or he's particularly attracted to their t-shirts aesthetic! I think he put some Fugazi too, together with Springsteen, Dylan and Tom Petty. Well, I can say I already have the whole Side A in my mind. But there's a whole Side B to discover and I can't wait to get on the bus, put the tape in my walkman and put earbuds on. Because, yes, I'm about to say bye to Eddie and I won't see him for a week at least but with this mix tape it'll be like having him with him all the time.

“Also” he replies with a strange voice. I look up at him and notice a frowned expression.

“Hey, I was just kidding… I like the idea of being surprised, I did it too” I thought he was used to my unpleasant sense of humor by now.

“Hehe sure, I know, you’re talking like I got upset or something”

“Aren’t you upset?”

“No, why would I?” maybe because you're being defensive.

“I don’t know, you’re strange”

“Strange? You mean, more than usual?” yes, because you're not crazy-strange, you're unhappy-strange.

“Hehe yes, you… you look sad”

“Well it must be because I am sad”

“Why? What happened?” I'm immediately alarmed. What if he saw Beth last night? Or maybe it's exactly the opposite, maybe he hoped to see her but she didn't show up...

“What happened… what’s happening here, now… you leaving…” me? What have I got to do with this?

“Are you sad because I’m going back home?”

“Yeah… I mean, my little house on the beach will be empty again. And I’ll miss you, you know” you'll miss me, sure. You'll miss somebody, having someone to talk to, but it's not like I'm the only person on the plante.

“Hahaha shut up!”

“It’s true” I know it's true for you. The problem is it's true for me too. And we've got all the premises for a disaster. We'd better change our way.

“Oh Eddie, do you know what you need?”

“What?”

“A girlfriend, Eddie. You really should find yourself one” that's when I start giving him some kind of lecture, although that wasn't my first intention. It's all his fault though! He's fuckin' asking for it, I mean, how can he not sense the connection between Michell and him? How can he say she's not his type? Why is nobody his type? How can it be? And why have a type anyway? I like tall movie nerds with a big nose but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give a chance to, I don't know, short music and surf lovers with a cute button nose. Is it possible he doesn't like anyone? Eddie's very handsome, no doubt about it, no one knows it more than me how hot this guy is. And he's also a good and mysterious soul, a passionate artist... I mean, he has it all. But if not even a knockout like Mitch is his type... I don't know what to think.

“You don’t like her?”

“NOT IN THAT WAY!” Eddie raises his voice all upset, drawing the attention of the other waiting passengers even more, after they've been following our discussion from the beginning.

“You’re an idiot, Eddie, let me tell ya” why do you have to make it all so difficult?

“If that’s what you think…”

“You’re too fuckin’ picky! I see you can do that but… I don’t know, I can’t work you out” if Violet's not his type, Michelle's not his type... I can only imagine what I look like to his eyes.

“You’re the one to talk” he mumbles and I see where he's getting at. He's the picky one whereas I'm the opposite, I'm the one who's always been chosen and never chose. I'm not saying my attitude is the right one, I think somewhere in the middle would be the ideal solution.

“I could understand you didn’t want Violet, to a certain extent, because she was very distant from your world and you didn’t have anything in common. But Michelle?! She’s a musician, a surfer, a skater, likes sports, she’s an environmentalist and socially commited! She told me about what she does, what you do, for homeless people. And the fact she knows you so well is a plus to me, because she knows how to approach you and take care of you, she knows your flaws and weaknesses and can understand you better than anyone else. But you… you don’t wanna hear about it! I… Fuck, I don’t know?! I’d be curious to know what a girl must look like for you to like her, since I know you I’ve never seen a girl you like, not even one by mistake. Who knows what did your exes look like? They must have been some kind of living goddesses to b-” Eddie gives me a skeptical look the whole time without blinking an eye, then disbelief turns into an actual frown and I suddenly have this déjà vu moment. But I don't have the time to remember where I already saw that frown, 'cause I get knocked down by a sort of hurricane, that lifts me off my feet and then throws me back down with a bang, leaving me with trembling knees and hands. I know Eddie's kissing me, I'm aware of that, I can clearly feel his lips slowly moving against mine, his hand caressing my hair, his fingers so dangerously close to my weak spot on the nape than the mere thought he touch it almost makes me lose my mind. I'm present to the moment I'm living right now and I wouldn't want to be anytime and anywhere else, but that doesn't mean I'm actually understanding what's happening to me. Actually, I can't find any trace of logic in all this, I start believing I never really woke up, that I'm still in Eddie's bed, wearing his Loser t-shirt, nomen omen the Latin would say... And maybe I'm right there because all of a sudden it seems like I can hear the rumbling sound of music in the distance, coming from a closed space: it can be the stereo of a car that's getting close, an after hours club, the powerful clock radio of a hard sleeper. I don't know where it comes from, I only know it sounds a lot like the one I heard during the dream and if I wasn't an atheist and a rationalist I'd start considering omens and oracles. But Eddie backs up slightly and when I open my eyes and meet his I definitely lose every sense of time and space.

“Too many words for six o'clock in the morning, Angie” it's barely more than a whisper against my lips.

“I... Oh my god, I'm sorry, it's... it's sleep deprivation, basically it's like I'm drunk. And you know that when I'm drunk I talk too much and use a lot of big words. Well, actually I haven't used any big words now, that must be an exclusive feature of alcohol consumption, but the chatty aspect is still there. That and snooping around into other people's business 'cause I generally not. Not because I'm a thoughtless uncaring person, of course, but-” Eddie's eyes are quizzical during my whole rant, until he decides to put an end to this as well, the same way as he did before. Eddie pulls me against him once again applying a soft pressure against my neck, then kisses me, burying his fingers in my hair completely and now I'm the one who forgets how to breathe. I'm the gasping one on the floating bed, while Eddie tries to revive me and ignores the fact he's the cause of my blackout. The 4/4 rhythm is still in the background, still the same, it doesn't get close or move away. My arms are limp, dangling at my sides, and I must look quite ridiculous but I don't really know where to put my hands and honestly I don't even know I have limbs right now and I'm not really sure about their real purpose. This drunk-like state continues until Eddie decides to take my lower lip in his mouth and start nibbling on it, before moving his tongue over it ever so lightly. That's when reality hits me like a cold shower. Only it's not reality but lucid insanity, so typical of me. Because as soon as Eddie slips his tongue between my lips and inside my mouth, I've got the feeling someone suddenly threw the door of the music room wide open or just threw me in there and everything's suddenly clear. And it's not Sonic Youth. And it's not Tom Jones either. It's Depeche Mode, performing on the roof of the bus.

When I'm with you baby

I go out of my head

And I just can't get enough

“Still too many words, huh?” I ask when Dave Gahan, fully dressed in leather, stops singing and just dances around Vince Clark, who plays keyboards like crazy.

“I think so” Eddie replies as he brushes his nose against mine shaking his head.

“Sor-” I can't even say one word and he's once again attacking my lips, pressing his body so hard against mine that my backpack falls from my shoulder and leaving very little space between us.

By now I remember I have arms, maybe because Gahan has just pulled them up over my head while we're dancing together and I wonder why isn't he sweating with those fuckin' leather pants because it's so fucking hot in here. I don't really know where I put my hands but when Eddie backs away from me and I open my eyes again, I see his hood's not over his head anymore and he's now circling and gently caressing my wrists with the tip of his fingers. I see it and feel it. Feel it too much.

“Interrupting a woman who's speaking is not really feminist, you know?”

“Isn't it?” he asks pretending to be surprised and alarmed. I answer shaking my head “Not even with a kiss?”

“Nuh-uh”

“Well, you have my apologies then, my princess”

“I accept your apologies”

“I'll wait for you to finish talking before doing it again”

“Great, that'll be better”

“Fine”

“Fine.” I repeat, then I stare at him in silence for a few seconds, still too many for my taste “I finished”

“Fine” he echoes before his passion washes over me once more with another kiss.

“Angie, it's time to go” Eddie says when I still have my eyes closed and am sitting at a bar, drinking smoothies with Depeche Mode, and for a moment, for the umpteenth time, but more convincingly, I really think I'm still in Eddie's bed, while he's calling me to get up because it's late. And I'll probably curse profusely because I'm about to miss the bus. Anyway, when I open my eyes I find myself at the bus station, right in front of the white bus that's gonna take me back to Seattle, a long series of faces smiling and winking at me as the passengers put their largest suitcases in the trunk of the bus.

“Huh?” I ask still woozy.

“The bus is about to leave”

“Uh! Ok, let's go” I try and come to my senses putting one foot in front of the other but something, or someone, blocks me.

“Angie?”

“Yes?”

“The bus”

“Yes”

“It's this way”

“Oh yeah, sure! Sorry, hehe, I'm still sleeping basically” I apologize and walk the right direction.

“Angie?”

“Yeah?”

“Your backpack” I turn around and see it on the ground next to Eddie's feet. He giggles as he takes it and walks up to me.

“Thank you” I gesture for him to give it to me but he keeps the bag and takes my hand, pulling me towards the bus.

Eddie literally has to take the ticket from my backpack and show it to the driver because I just can't, then gets on the bus with me and makes me sit down.

“Do you wanna put the backpack up here? I'll help you” he asks pointing at the overhead compartment.

“No, thank you, I'm gonna keep it here for the moment, then I'll think about it”

“I can help her too” a good looking woman around thirty with nice curly hair and red-framed glasses looks up from her book and smiles alternatively at me and Eddie.

“Thank you...”

“Ok, gotta go now or I end up going back to Seattle in advance instead of playing in Oakland”

“And Stone would kill the both of us”

“Exactly... Bye Angie, call me when you get home, ok?” Eddie bends down on his knees to give me another kiss who's barely there but it's not less effective than the others.

“Ok”

“Maybe even before that if you can, I guess you'll have other stops after L.A., right?”

“I think so... but maybe you won't be home and-”

“I don't care, leave me a message, I just wanna hear you, ok? Have a safe trip”

“Thank you, have... a nice... show” I answer in between kisses.

“See you in Seattle” after one last caress on my cheek and a kiss on my forehead, Eddie says bye to me and my travel companion and gets off the bus.

“I don't wanna be nosy, dear, but let me tell you: you're crazy”

“Excuse me?” I stop staring at the aisle where Eddie's just passed and turned towards the female voice who's just spoken beside me.

“You're crazy, leaving a guy like that alone on Valentine's Day” the woman goes on and nods at the window.

I look out and see Eddie pulling his hood back over his head and waving at me, before putting both hands in his pockets. I reply with the same gesture right when the bus starts to move. Valentine's Day? Who on earth ever thought of this?

#pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #eddie vedder fanfiction #pearl jam #eddie vedder #stone gossard #jeff ament #mike mccready #alice in chains #jerry cantrell #sean kinney #chapters

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plusorminuscongress · 4 years

Text

New story in Politics from Time: With Mainstream GOP Candidate’s Win in Kansas, Republicans Dodge a Problem Child

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell went to bed Tuesday night with one less fear of losing his gavel, his grip on power threatened by one fewer fringy contender.

As Kansans cast their ballots in the state’s Senate primary yesterday, the GOP Establishment in Washington was publicly confident that two-term Rep. Roger Marshall would prevail against former Secretary of State Kris Kobach, a candidate cut from President Donald Trump’s playbook. Privately, though, they were hitting refresh on the vote tallies and fretting that Kobach may put the state and the GOP’s Senate majority in play come November.

In this era — with a pandemic raging, public polling largely absent, private polls looking like a shotgun pattern and traditional campaign tactics like door-knocking verboten — nothing can be certain. Kobach was seen as such a threat to Republicans’ control of the Senate that a Democratic super PAC flooded Kansas with at least $5 million in ads trying to swing the nomination his way — or at least make Marshall a less-appealing candidate to true conservatives.

Make sense of what matters in Washington. Sign up for the daily D.C. Brief newsletter.

Republicans are in their sixth year in the Senate majority and increasingly worried that it may be their last. The stakes couldn’t be higher for the party, especially if presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden wins the White House and comes back to Washington with Democratic majorities in the House and Senate to rubber-stamp his agenda. Kobach, best known as the nation’s leading promoter of debunked claims of voter fraud and an adviser to anti-illegal immigration crusades, was seen as a surefire way to help Democrats win Kansas’ Senate seat and chip away at the chamber’s Republican majority. In the end, McConnell got his man in Marshall, a physician by training who only entered politics in 2016.

Kansas is a crucial part of the Republican Party’s hold on the Great Plains. But GOP dominance in November is not guaranteed in that stretch of the nation, from North Dakota to Texas. In 2014, incumbent Kansas Sen. Pat Roberts botched his re-election so badly that D.C. Republicans dispatched their favorite wunderkind to take over the race and save the seat from a very real Democratic threat. (Read my profile of campaign savior Corry Bliss here.) Roberts won, but promised in turn to retire. For the last two years, Washington Republicans tried to recruit Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to move home and run, but they came up short. Instead, they settled on Marshall, a House member who, three years into his time in Washington, is the dean of the Kansas delegation.

The fact that Kansas was ever in play suggests that Republicans are sketching a path to retaining power in the Senate based on, at best, a soft base of support. Trump won Kansas by a comfortable 6 points. L.B.J. was the last Democrat to win there in 1964 and F.D.R. was the last before that in 1936. But you can’t discount the fact that the state sent a lesbian Native-American former mixed-martial-arts fighter to Congress in 2018. That’s why Republicans were celebrating their apparent dodge of a controversial Trump disciple who could launch the state’s liberal minority to action. In Marshall, Republicans have good odds of holding the seat. McConnell wishes he had that confidence in a half-dozen other states with even more competitive contests.

A version of this article first appeared in The DC Brief, TIME’s politics newsletter. Sign up here to get stories like this sent to your inbox every weekday.

By Philip Elliott on August 05, 2020 at 01:23PM

#Time #politics #PlusOrMinusCongress #±Congress #Indega±#IndegaPlusOrMinus #TimeMag #TimeMagazine

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nhlhoser · 7 years

Text

On The Rocks- 3

Master List

"I need to pee! Amelia comes with me" Steph doesn't wait for my answer as she's already pulling me from my seat. "Well I don't think I have a have a choice" I laugh as I am stumbling to the washroom with Steph. The urge to pee hit me as soon as I stand making me quicken my pace.

You don't realize how drunk you are until you're in the washroom. I am way past buzzed now laying out on a couch in the washroom waiting for Steph for the past 10 minutes. "Steph do you have a hair tie? I don't think I brought my purse" I called out into the stalls. No reply. "Steph?" I stand up on drunken feet and make my way to her stall. Knocking on the door I hear a groan.

"Are you asleep?" I giggle leaning my back on the door looking into the mirror. My makeup no longer crisp and my hair now had my fingers run through several times tonight.

"Maybe I just need a minute" Her words muffled by something. "Are you leaning into your legs or the toilet paper?" I ask having been in this possible myself. Drinking a little too much too fast and falling asleep when I break the seal. "My legs, the toilet paper is gross" she sounds like she's coming too. I laugh at the situation and almost fall back into the door when she opens the stall.

"Okay. Let's go before they think we're having lesbian relations" Steph says looking at me through the mirror making me start laughing like that's the funniest thing ever. She shakes her head at me pulling me off from where I was leaning. "They would think that" I noted when i got my breath back. We both adjust ourselves before leaving the washroom back into the washroom.

In true Amelia style, I trip when we get back to out table and falling into someone's lap that happens to be in my seat. "Oh, crap" I get up fast but again falling into another lap this time being Williams lap his arms instantly catching me from doing further damage. "You okay?" The Swede asks helping me to my feet. "Yeah just drunk and a clutz" Planting my ass into an empty seat across from where i was sitting beside a laughing Steph.

"I'd be sorry if you didn't take my seat" I childishly stick my tongue out at the new addition to our group. Another leaf. Matt Martin my eyes widening again. My favorite enforcer. "Sorry didn't realize it was taken when I have been here for ten minutes" He joking fights back. "Sorry I decided it was a perfect time to nap well peeing" Steph chirp sipping her drink or Mitch's drink I have no idea anymore.

"Wait you actually fell asleep on the toilet?" William asked with a mix of surprise and concern at the idea of sleeping where you pee. "Yeah, it happens all the time" I answer for Steph looking around the table for my purse. The guy shaking their head at female antics and William being the only one concerned.

"I think I finished your drink" Auston spoke up sheepishly nodding at my empty glass of beer. "I'll buy you you're next, " He said firmly with a slur being drunk himself. I wave him over too drunk to care.

Listening to the conversations for and hour about hockey and their lives make me realize out much of an outsider I am. Feeling uncomfortable I excuse myself to the bar to get a drink.

"2 Tequila shots please?" I asked the male bartender. Going to grab my wallet I remember I left my purse a the table I turn to go back and smack hard into Auston who pays for the shots. Rubbing my nose remembering his promise to buy me my drink. Grab the two glasses and handing one to Auston "Bottoms up" we tap glasses and chugging them back and slamming down the glasses. Feeling the burn go down my throat into my stomach making me all warm inside. Shimming my shoulders and making face but Auston looks like he just had a shot of water.

"How? How are you so calm?" I ask stupidly. He shrugged and still looks passive and calculating. His eyes are intense he's very unreadable. "You know-" I put my hand on his bicep to keep me upright. "I had a really good time but i really need to get going if I want to -to" I frown forgetting what I want to say. "Yup, too night has been crazy! I though I go the Gala make my dads friend of a friend look good and then sneak off before dessert but here I am at my favorite bar with my favorite hockey team!" I grin feeling light headed. Auston cracks smile.

"HA you do have an emotion you're so dark and mysterious and calculating" I poked his cheek.

"I think it's time to go Amelia" His voice so masculine and so him. His arm supporting me around my waist. "Yeah it's been my time to go as soon as we met..I'm a nobody," i said soberly coming to my senses. I need to get my purse and get out of here before I make more of a fool of myself. Heading to the table to gather my things and put on my coat I said bye everyone and getting outside the hail a cab.

"Wait Amelia" William Nylander followed me out. "I heard what you said to Auston, You're not a nobody and you're pretty awesome and humble. We all want yo be your friend and have more night like these" He said smiling warmly. I nod "Now give me your phone" He demands.

That's how I ended up all their numbers.

Back to reality in the morning.

1 message from Steph

'I texted me from your phone! Haha;P Can't not text us now :D'

#austonmatthews #auston matthews imagine

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mdye · 7 years

Link

Like what you read below? Sign up for HUFFPOST HILL and get a cheeky dose of political news every evening!

Donald Trump passed along sensitive intelligence to Russia’s ambassador, endangering American assets in the exact same way that Barack Obama did when he bowed to that guy. We’re convinced that at this point, Mitch McConnell’s entire family could be eaten by bears but so long as the plan to lower the effective tax rate for corporations were on track, he’d be cool. And it seems like Trump’s week couldn’t get any worse unless he had a photo-op with an authoritarian ruler like Recep Tayyip Erdog — oh. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, May 16th, 2017:

THIS MIGHT BE HOW THE DEMOCRATS BLOW 2018 - Greetings from Georgetown, where everyone knows the reason Trump won in November was because there weren’t enough Beltway gatherings at hotels where a side order of foie gras butter is a reasonable $15. As such, the Center for American Progress and practically the entire Democratic establishment thought it a good idea to to have an “Ideas Conference” at the Four Seasons today. Naturally, this had us wondering whether the setting might undermine the speakers’ messages of economic inclusion (”Concentrated money and concentrated power are corrupting our democracy,” warned Elizabeth Warren; Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti said the economic woes of working people in California are “not much different from people in coal country;” “All we do is fight for working families in our country,” claimed Nancy Pelosi, adding that it was imperative that the Democratic Party better communicate its agenda to voters). “CAP’s Ideas Conference isn’t about the venue — it’s about the ideas and energy our speakers are bringing to the day,” said CAP spokeswoman Allison Preiss, who added that the venue was chosen to accommodate unexpected press interest (though the group’s 10th anniversary policy conference in 2013 was held, somewhat suspiciously, at the St. Regis). We asked Senator Jeff Merkley what he thought of the setting. “I did find it kind of ironic as I was walking here from the subway stop that we were moving into elite Georgetown for this conference,” he said. Merkley said he didn’t know enough about the planning to comment at length, but noted, approvingly, “this is a union shop.” Onward to 2018!

This is arguably the GOP’s worst news cycle of the year, and Republicans were giddy to tee off on the conference’s location: “Giving speeches to rich, white, elites inside $800 per night hotels in the toniest section of the most hated city in America only picks up where Hillary Clinton left off,” Ken Spain, the former communications director for the Republican National Campaign Committee, told us. Sam Geduldig, a leading GOP lobbyist and erstwhile aide to former House Speaker John Boehner, picked up on that theme. “I have this vision of wealthy liberals picking at a seafood tower while talking about people they know nothing about,” Geduldig said. “Maybe they can conduct a focus group of the hotel staff, while they have them in one place?”

Taking BernieLand’s temperature: “A tone-deaf luxury bootcamp for CAP-affiliated consultants, operatives, and big money donors accustomed to losing elections means the Democratic party might not get in shape ahead of the 2018 midterm elections,” People for Bernie co-founder Winnie Wong told us.

TRUMP ADMIN STILL DANCING AROUND INTEL LEAK DENIAL - Marina Fang: “President Donald Trump’s administration on Tuesday continued to provide a muddled explanation of reports that the president shared classified information with Russian officials in an Oval Office meeting last week. National security adviser H.R. McMaster, who had said on Monday that The Washington Post’s reporting was false, would not directly confirm or deny that Trump had shared classified information. ‘We don’t say what’s classified, what’s not classified,’ McMaster said at a press briefing Tuesday, before adding that ‘what the president shared was wholly appropriate.’ Trump all but confirmed that he shared classified information in a series of tweets early Tuesday morning, proclaiming that he has ‘the absolute right’ to share any information he wants.” [HuffPost]

Oh: “McMaster’s pushback came just hours after Trump himself acknowledged Tuesday morning in a pair of tweets that he had indeed revealed highly classified information to Russia — a stunning confirmation of the Washington Post story and a move that seemed to contradict his own White House team after it scrambled to deny the report.” [WaPo’s Ashley Parker]

DONALD TRUMP GAVE SENSITIVE INTEL TO THE RUSSIANS AND THE GOP IS ON IT - And by “on it,” we mean, “has the same canned response queued up.” Amanda Terkel: “Rep. Frank LoBiondo (R-N.J.) said the news was ‘deeply concerning,’ and he will raise it when the House Intelligence Committee meets. ‘I would be concerned anytime we’re discussing sensitive subjects with the Russians,’ said Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.). Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) similarly said the revelations were ‘deeply disturbing,’ while Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) told the White House to get its act together: ‘The White House has got to do something soon to bring itself under control and in order. It’s got to happen.’ House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said he wants a ‘full explanation’ from the administration of what Trump disclosed, while Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) would simply like ‘a little less drama from the White House on a lot of things so that we can focus on our agenda.’” [HuffPost]

Haircuts: Jeffrey Young (h/t Jeffrey Young), Canada’s own Todd Zwillich (h/t Tiger Beat).

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OH GOOD LORD, TRUMP MEETS WITH ERDOGAN - The whole Russian intel leak thing reminded us that Trump will also likely meet with Rodrigo Duterte at some point this year. Can’t wait! Julie Hirschfeld Davis and Mark Landler: “President Trump on Tuesday praised President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey as a stalwart ally in the battle against Islamic extremism, ignoring Mr. Erdogan’s authoritarian crackdown on his own people and brushing aside recent tensions between the United States and Turkey over how to wage the military campaign against the Islamic State. Welcoming Mr. Erdogan to the White House, Mr. Trump said, ‘Today, we face a new enemy in the fight against terrorism, and again we seek to face this threat together.’ … Mr. Erdogan praised Mr. Trump for the ‘legendary triumph’ he had achieved in the election and declared that his first meeting with the new president would be a ‘historical turn of tide’ in the Turkish-American relationship.” [NYT]

Congratulations to Jared Kushner: “Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) took himself out of the running to be the nation’s next FBI director, informing President Donald Trump’s administration that he intends to stay in the Senate instead. In a statement released by his office on Tuesday, Cornyn, the Senate’s majority whip, said the country needs a ‘well-credentialed’ and ‘independent’ FBI director to replace James Comey, who was fired by the president last week.” [HuffPost’s Igor Bobic]

THE 11-DIMENSIONAL CHESS OF FAKE NEWS - True Detective Season 13: The first one starring Tim Allen and Kelsey Grammar and streamed on NewsmaxTV. Alex Seitz-Wald: “The Dallas-based financial adviser, Ed Butowsky, a Fox News contributor who has written articles for Breitbart News, contacted the parents of Seth Rich and urged them to hire a private investigator to look into the death of their 27-year-old son, who was shot and killed last July in what police say was a robbery gone wrong. The Rich family hired the detective who had been recommended, Rod Wheeler, a former D.C. homicide detective who is also a Fox News contributor and who last month tweeted a photo of himself at the White House captioned, ‘Doing my part to Make America Great Again!!’ Wheeler said on Monday there was evidence to support the conspiracy theories, including that Rich had been in contact with WikiLeaks before his death — prompting a quick rebuke from both the police and Rich’s family…. Police say it was a robbery gone wrong, but the death quickly became a fascination of conspiracy theorists, who alleged he was the source of DNC emails published on Wikileaks, even though U.S. intelligence agencies say they actually came from a Russian hacking operation.” [MSNBC]

Condolences to Melissa McCarthy: “As President Donald Trump is reportedly frustrated with his communications team and mulling a major staff shake-up, Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle signaled Tuesday that she could be leaving the president’s favorite channel for the White House. In an interview with the Bay Area News Group, Guilfoyle said she had been in conversations with the Trump administration about becoming White House press secretary or taking on another press role.” [HuffPost’s Michael Calderone]

NC GOV PROMISES EXECUTIVE ORDER ON HB2 - Pretty amazing considering the state legislature stripped Roy Cooper of pretty much every power save for the approval vanity plates. Julia Craven: “North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper (D) vowed Tuesday to issue an executive order ‘pretty soon’ to increase protections for LGBTQ people in the state. The pledge follows the state’s partial repeal of HB2, a law barring local governments from passing any anti-discrimination protections for lesbian, gay and transgender people. ‘I’m going to issue an executive order pretty soon that is comprehensive, that helps with LGBT protections and we’re going to keep working every day,’ he said during the Center for American Progress’ Ideas Conference. Cooper’s office told HuffPost they could not immediately give additional details about the order.” [HuffPost]

MAN ARRESTED FOR THREATENING CONGRESSWOMAN - McSally, to refresh your memory, represents Gabby Giffords old district. Curt Prendergast: “The FBI arrested a TUSD employee on suspicion of threatening U.S. Rep. Martha McSally. FBI agents arrested Steve Martan, 58, in connection with three messages left on the congressional office voicemail on May 2 and May 10, according to a criminal complaint filed May 12 in U.S. District Court in Tucson. Martan is a campus monitor at Miles Exploratory Learning Center in the Tucson Unified School District. He was placed on home assignment and told not to come into work as the district investigates the allegations. The voicemails contained threats to McSally, including that she should ‘be careful’ when she returns to Tucson and that her days ‘were numbered.’ He threatened to shoot her in one of the expletive-filled messages.” [Arizona Daily Star]

BECAUSE YOU’VE READ THIS FAR - Here is the flyest toddler to ever take to a moonbounce.

COMFORT FOOD

The dopest of elevators.

How to make the carbonara from “Master of None.”

Take a break from this nightmarish newscycle and relax by watching some Japanese joinery.

TWITTERAMA

Thoughts and prayers to all those GOP lawmakers concerned about Trump’s behavior

— Amanda Terkel (@aterkel) May 16, 2017

White House reaction cycle 1 - It never happened 2 - POTUS tweet 3 - It happened; NBD 4 - Nobody cares but you 5 - No more questions on this

— Brad Heath (@bradheath) May 16, 2017

Regular reminder that the entire election turned on fake anger that Clinton had mishandled unmarked material at low-level classification.

— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) May 15, 2017

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itsfinancethings · 4 years

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New story in Politics from Time: With Mainstream GOP Candidate’s Win in Kansas, Republicans Dodge a Problem Child

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell went to bed Tuesday night with one less fear of losing his gavel, his grip on power threatened by one fewer fringy contender.

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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i mean, some things that were never stated in canon are canon. it was never states that clementine is bisexual and we don’t choose her sexuality. in the game it was never stated that minerva and violet are lesbians. why do these things become “canon” but other things don’t have to be considered canon?

The way I see it is that within the context of the game, based on her interactions with them, Clementine shows an interest in both Louis and Violet [+Gabe in ANF] no matter what the player chooses. No matter what you do, there are moments in the canon where Clementine gives them the eyes and expresses her interest in them. It’s just up to the player who she ends up with, if anyone at all.

From my perspective, Clementine’s bisexuality is very present in the game, making it canon. But that’s not everybody. I don’t need Mary Kenney to confirm that Clementine’s bi because I played the game, but for other people, that’s not enough. They need that outside confirmation, and like I said, that’s perfectly okay.

And y’know what? There are people out there who would continue to deny she’s bisexual even if Clementine herself turned to the camera and flat out said “I’m bisexual.” While I heavily disagree with those people and consider it bisexual erasure, nothing I say or do is going to change their minds, and I’m not going to argue with them when they get hostile about it. I got better things to do. I’ll give them what I consider evidence within canon/what the creators say about Clementine’s bisexuality, but I can’t force them to do shit.

Just like with Violet. I’ve gotten messages in the past arguing that Violet isn’t a lesbian, that she could be bisexual and shipped with guys. Again heavily disagree with this and can point to what I consider evidence within the canon as well as what the creators say but... again, can’t make them do shit.

And people get pissed about it, and they argue. And I get it, most of us look at Clementine or Violet and go “She’s bisexual / she’s a lesbian” respectively, we know it’s canon whether we see it within the game or the creators told us or both, and for someone to come over and be like “No, shut up, it’s not canon there’s no proof”... it’s not great. No one likes it and we get understandably hurt or angry, especially if it’s something we identify with. That’s why people, myself included, get upset.

It can get a little muddled and complicated when it comes to canon, I was merely explaining my view of how I tend to determine what’s canon for me and how I got about taking in what Kent and other creators say.I mostly lean towards making my own conclusions, but I’m also interested in what the creators say and will agree with them in certain areas, such as Clementine’s sexuality/race that are indisputable with me.

Everyone’s different. I wasn’t trying to say that only the obvious, blatant things are canon because that’s not true, and I wasn’t trying to say that we shouldn’t ever take anything said outside the game as canon. I was just explaining the “Death of the Author” concept and how close or far away people can fall on that, y’know? like how I lean more into it but I’m still in the middle.

And hell, I forgot to even get into the fact that some of us flat out ignore canon because that’s a thing, too. I’m guilty of that [lookin’ at you, Mitch’s death scene that didn’t actually happen Lilly just bopped him on the head and he’s a drama queen who slept for the rest of the season because head owie shhhh-] Shit, that’s a very common thing. Hello, fanfiction? Fix-it-fics? What if scenarios?? Literally this entire blog??

Listen, “why do these things become “canon” but other things don’t have to be considered canon?” because canon’s complicated since everyone has a different one based on different routes, experiences, and different stances on the “Death of the Author” concept. No one’s canon is the same.

You do you, have fun, don’t be a dingus to each other, gush about your favs and ships, have discussions, not arguments. I think that’s about all I got to say haha

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg gabe #twdg mitch #twdg lilly #canon talk hurts my brain hahaha #what are words

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