#monday at strexcorp

[desert-bluffs-and-me]

WTNV Quick Rundown - 47 - Company Picnic

Featuring the voice of Lauren Sharpe as Lauren Mallard and Kevin R Free as Kevin of Desert Bluffs.

Lauren: Snow is falling somewhere. Many things are falling or will fall or have fallen. But temporary triumph is still triumph. Welcome to the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area.

As a continuum from last episode, we see that Kevin and Lauren are now hosting Cecil's show with Kevin in Cecil's place and Lauren in the producers booth. Or more so, the two shows have been merged into one and it is broadcasting across NV and DB, which is now considered one town in Strex's eyes.

They tell us that in Strex's 'benevolence' they have given everyone the day off for a 'company picnic' in Mission Grove Park. It is mandatory to attend and although they use pleasant words and terms and say that everybody is having fun, it is very clear that this is to control and dispirit everyone.

For example: 'StrexCorp picnic captains' i.e (likely armed) guards are stationed within the 'picnic' grounds, people are being told how to move and look, you're only allowed to take as many snacks as you've 'earned' via your work hours, 'party poopers' (people who tried to escape and who this picnic was thrown to find i.e. find people who aren't subservient enough yet) are made to wear heavy stone hats 'until they are agreeable', and the area is surrounded by electrified volleyball nets.

It becomes an 'indefinite picnic' i.e. they are forcing people to live and work in the park under the eye of StrexCorp employees.

When people all try to rush the volleyball nets, an 'Overseer' does something to them which is absolutely not just 'explaining to them how parties are supposed to work'. Those trying to hide are soon ferreted out.

Weather: "Stupid" by Brendan Maclean, brendanmaclean.com

The DB equivalent of the Night Vale Community Radio is the Desert Bluffs Radio Incorporated.

Strex has detailed information about everyone.

The Old Oak Doors have all disappeared.

Strex arrested the scientists outside of the House That Doesn't Exist whilst looking for Carlos. Because of this, Carlos is trapped in the Desert Otherworld as nobody can open the door for him.

Cynthia, who lives in the house in Desert Creek despite it not really existing, has a last name. It's Cabrera.

Lauren seems to have a greater variation of emotions than Kevin. Whilst he stays always weirdly calm, she shows fluctuations to anger and frustration that she has to purposefully calm herself from.

The community calendar mainly consists of telling people to work and messages about how their value is related to the work they do. All days are like this except for Monday, which is apparently a lie and the citizens are encouraged to 'point out liars'.

The Mayoral Election is still going on because they literally cannot stop it. Kevin announces a false claim from both candidates with reads “We couldn’t care less who wins. The important thing is that Night Vale is well served in its relationship with the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area business community. This is the key to economic prosperity, and a future that is in harmony with a smiling god.” 

Lauren asks if she can call Kevin 'Kev' and he happily tells her that no, she may not, by no means.

Today’s sponsor is…oh my, looks like it happens to be Strexcorp. Strexcorp. Like dew from the sky. Like a cloud that dissipates only to come again as other clouds. Like the sun. Like a hate filled thought that you fail to suppress. Like biting down on a fistful of sand. Like words that once held meaning. Like the sun. Like an enemy hiding in the depths of your own body. Like the enemy that is your own body. Like a thought you wish you could have but don’t. Like a smiling god. Like the sun. Strexcorp. Go to sleep.

Apparently DB citizens haven't been able to get the jingle this comes with out of their heads for years.

NV equipment is apparently so old fashioned that Kevin hardly knows how to use any of it. He apparently slaughtered all the Shauns (from Sales) and used them to 'make the place feel like home' describing it as them 'contributing' to decorating the place. Lauren doesn't seem very happy about it as he is but pretends to be.

Apparently a 'deep rumbling sound' is a part of every broadcast and even Kevin doesn't know why.

They mock the people twitching and grimacing from being shocked by saying they're just 'smiling weird' and 'don't have to wiggle like that when there's no music'.

KEVIN: That's all for today. Stay tuned next for bountiful blessings from a smiling god. And so, from me, Kevin. LAUREN: And from Lauren here in the booth. KEVIN: And, as always, until next time, Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area. Until next time. 

Proverb: Wonderwall is the only 90s song that is visible from space.

#wtnv #wtnv quick rundown #welcome to night vale #wtnv ep 47

[neriumdelusion]

Lauren: hi

Kevin: Oh my godddddddd no one careessssss stfuuuuuuu godddddd you’re so annoyinggggggg go awayyyy godddddd stfuuuuu I didn’t askkkkk my lorddddd

#wtnv #wtdb #I’m really funny #Lauren mallard #kevin desert bluffs #monday at strexcorp #nerium has thoughts and makes that a you problem #welcome to desertbluffs i guess! #frequencies

[goodnightmoonvale]

Monday is a lie that someone told you in order to poison you against the idea of starting your work week. Who told you this lie? Point them out to us, and we’ll make sure that they don’t tell you any more lies. Isn’t that nice? Just honest folks, dealing honestly with other honest folks. Just point out the liar, and denounce them.

Kevin, Welcome To Night Vale

#strexcorp #kevin r free #welcome to night vale #wtnv #mondays

[italwaysflinchesfirst]

Monday is a lie someone told you in order to poison you against the idea of starting your work week!

Who told you this lie?

Point them out to us, and we’ll make sure that they don’t tell you any more lies.

Isn’t that nice?

Just honest folks

dealing honestly

with other honest folks!

Just point out the liar

and denounce them!

This has been the community calendar.

#episode 47: company picnic #welcome to night vale #quote #kevin #quotes #welcome to nightvale #night vale #nightvale #wtnv #nvcr #night vale community radio #desert bluffs greater metropolitan area #desert bluffs #strex #strexcorp #strex corp #monday #honest folks

[tracle0]

Happy Meet and Greet Monday! Who was the first character you created - are they still present in your WIPs?

HI hello happy Meet and Greet Monday!!! I’ve never actually done this before aaaaaaaa I’m gonna answer it like I answer STS because I am. A coward. 

You’ve also unleashed a weird corner of my writing experience that I don’t think I’ve ever really spoken about before so buckle in. 

So LEGALLY, the first character I created was way back when I was like. 11. It was a wolf character for a wolf story I was writing based on a game I had once played. I do not remember a single thing about this character. 

The next ‘first’ character I created was for a story I put on Wattpad. It was a werewolf story which was surprisingly not romantic, and her name was Martha. I do not remember a single thing about her either. 

The next next ‘first’ character I created was for the first story I didn’t put online, I wrote just for myself. His name was Skullary, based on a character from a play called ‘The Road’ that I watched before my play was due on. I do remember him a bit; asshole, edgy, slightly immortal and really obsessed with just Knowing things about Everyone. 

He does not exist anymore in any story. He was the antagonist of some big ol’ dystopian story where this city had various layers and to progress to nicer layers you had to succeed in various tasks or kill X amount of people. He did not die, sadly. However! He does sort of live on in me deciding to make a reference to him that only I would get. My favourite postman in my current WIP, Death is a Silvertongue, is named Vincent Skullary. Very much named after the previous character. I like recycling.

Final ‘first’ character I created would be Andy, from my WIP Sonder. Or Atlas. I cannot remember which one came first. It would make sense if they came about around the same time, I remember Sonder was originally sort-of based off the  Strexcorp arc in Night Vale.

#magm #wow look I've never used that tag in my life #thank you for the question! #I don't usually do these questions and I've been v slack on doing sts as well #but I appreciate you asking! #one day I might answer in-character #I think it might be fun #but today is not that day haha #that doesn't mean don't ask me btw #it just means I may just. Not respond depending on how I'm feeling

[ryuki-blogs]

Compulsory Smiling Lessons organized by StrexCorp. start on Monday!

#this is Desert Bluffs equivalent of the Room 101 #welcome to night vale #wtnv #welcome to desert bluffs

[wtnvwritings]

Ok but think hear me out, strexcorp needs workers but as we all know, a worker that isn't one hundred and ten percent committed to their job, doesn't work as hard as they could, so they decided soulmarks are more of a hindrance than a help, so they... forcibly remove them, a large scar where once bright bold colours were supposed to be, another reminder of the fact that they're broken.

Every worker needs to be perfect.

That’s the StrexCorp way.

From morning to night, Tuesday to Sunday (because Monday simply doesn’t exist), every happy, smiling worker within the StrexCorp family needs to be absolutely, entirely, positively perfect in every way. There is no greater goal in life, no larger aspiration than to be the best person one can be--and how can one achieve such a wondrous thing?

By working!

Working hard of course; very, very hard.

So hard. 

Lots of things can distract people from working hard, but some of those things are unfortunate necessities of the human body--hunger, thirst, sleep, intimacy, love--those are all useless things that keep a worker from being able to meet their greatest potential. Though StrexCorp is tirelessly at work at trying to snip those things out with all sorts of advancements in technology, there are some that it has managed to get rid of with ease!

Soulmarks are such silly things, a thing can be removed with a rather simple procedure and rid the owner of all those nasty things that come with them. 

Who needs to care about a soulmate when one works for StrexCorp? To achieve the highest kind of person you can be, one must devote themselves wholly to the company and work hard! If you’re concerned with childish things like soulmates and love, then you can’t focus on your work and productivity!

So please, apply today to get that soulmark removed--help yourself be the best you that you can be! Free yourself from those distractful emotions and bonds to those around you!

But really, apply now. 

Get it removed

Or we’ll do it for you.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #strexcorp #soulmate au #drabble #soulmate au drabble #strexcorp drabble #writing #Anonymous

[mutxnts]

Listeners, I have an update on StrexCorp Synernists Incorporated. Intern Jessie has discovered that the company often goes by just StrexCorp, which brings the question of why did they even name it StrexCorp Synernists Incorporated if they were just going to call it StrexCorp for short?

Excuse me for the brief editorial. Anyway, Intern Jessie found out that StrexCorp is a private corporation dealing with local government. I’m not entirely sure why they would come to Desert Bluffs of all places. We have an amazing local government! In fact, election season is coming up here in a few weeks! We all remember that there is a vacant city council position, right? City Councilwoman Eliza Shupe disappeared several months ago and has not been seen since her disappearance.

The two candidates running to fill City Councilwoman Shupe’s seat are Sarah Millwood and Carl Feldman. Voting begins next Monday. Remember to get out and vote, Desert Bluffs!

#pre strex kevin

[neriumdelusion]

Strexcorp can be an office comedy you guys just aren’t trying hard enough

#Kevin is absolutely seething and has a breakdown every Monday #so does everyone the whole strex group have a breakdown #Lauren and Kevin got into an actual fight during the weather once and Vanessa found it really fucking funny #daniel wtnv #lauren mallard #kevin desert bluffs #intern vanessa #wtnv #wtdb #welcome to desertbluffs i guess! #strexposting #hcs in tags bc I’m funny #they meet up at each other’s places after work sometimes and get absolutely fucking wasted #Daniel explains to them all how robots work while Lauren listens intently but takes none of it bc she’s absolutely plastered #Lauren talks about strexcorp even while drunk and they r all kinda tired and Kevin told her to take up a hobby #he suggested landscape painting and jokes on him I think Lauren would be a good artist #there’s a tape somewhere tma style of them having fun before strex and it got lost but it still exists #/tma ref on my wtnv post #they were all friends before strex #I’m correct