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mokutone · 3 years

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yo i would love to hear some of ur trans yam headcanons :) (also ps ur art is breathtaking and whenever i see it reblogged on my dash i always come here anyway to read ur tags bc they r so! good!)

thank u 🥺🥺🥺 god im sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a couple days ksdjghsdkjgh not only have i got a LOT of thoughts to put here (this is only a selection of the bigger thoughts skdjghsdkjhg) i was also super busy the past few days!!!! ty for ur patience, ur compliments, and for inviting me to ramble abt my favorite guy!

maybe the one constant in all trans people is just like. our decision to intentionally and purposefully create ourselves, to forced into an identity by outside forces and to turn away from it in search of something else, and that’s ultimately what makes captain yamato read as a trans character to me! He goes through so many identities, and they are meaningful to him, but you can also clearly tell that he’s searching for something that really fits him.

I don’t really have a lot of firm thoughts on what his specific identity would be, I’ve seen some great nonbinary yams, some lovely genderfluid yams, trans guy yams, there’s a great variety and i delight in them all!

I tend to imagine him as transmasculine and nonbinary but male aligned (which means he’d feel at least a partial connection to or comfort with masculinity) and while there are a bunch of labels for this experience of gender (demiboy, bigender, etc etc) i don’t see him as somebody who would use any specific labels, I feel like he’d keep his own experience of his gender fairly private! He’d prefer and be fine with masculine-coded terms of address, and happy enough passing as a guy.

AHH and on names...

I think Kinoe is the only name that I really see as like. a genuine deadname. It’s a name that means “The First” to my understanding, and so like, probably refers to him having the genetics of the first. Therefore, it’s kind of. literally a name referring to him as his biology...boy thats as deadname as it gets, huh? kill that shit and also danzō

Tenzō is also a name thats given to him, but to my understanding (all I know about the anbu arc is picked up thru osmosis lol) it’s a name that’s given to him twice, with affection. Once from Yukimi, who sees him as her brother (not a vessel for the first hokage’s powers, probably for the first time ever—even if it’s still another person’s name) He takes the name, gladly! Unfortunately danzō. anyway,

Later, when he starts to introduce himself to the non-root Anbu as Kinoe, Kakashi cuts him off and names him to the anbu as Tenzō. To my understanding: it’s a name at rest, not a name for one singular mission, but a name for his entire time in Anbu. It’s the name he keeps the longest. Again, it’s a name that’s given to him to him by somebody else, but it’s one that is given with the intention to free him of Kinoe, and all that Kinoe had to be.

(A note on him getting annoyed with Kakashi for calling him Tenzō in main-plot:

Most of this is of course based off of personal experience, but I find it hard to believe that he would actively dislike Tenzō as a name since it was given with such sweet intentions—most of my names have been gifts, and the only one I’ve actively taken out of rotation has been bc i cannot stand the person who used it, and the way it was used, and while Anbu was certainly bad for Yamato...I don’t think it was quite that bad. I think him telling Kakashi to stop calling him Tenzō has more to do with the use of it where it doesn’t belong—for example, while it’s not exactly a name, I am happy to be called “mokutone” here, and you may notice my friends calling me by another name, but if any of those friends called me mokutone in DMs, I would be bothered by that.)

Yamato starts off as an empty codename, given to him for the purposes of his team 7 mission by the Hokage, but I think it gets such a loving and warm association from just...using out in the sunlight, with these kids that he comes to think so fondly of (he’s such a dad. god. he’s such a fucking dad) and with the friends he makes going out drinking and actually having time to socialize—and that means a lot! I think Yamato is probably the name which becomes most meaningful and like a home to him by the end of the series. This is the active name, the name where he is most himself. It’s vital for him to have that space to grow into!

But that said, I personally feel like, if he were to continue beyond the edges of the story, this would not be the final name he bears. He’s probably well aware that a single name cannot contain who he is, or who he wants to be, and while being Given a name can be a beautiful thing (like i said, most of my names are gifts! i treasure them.) I think that, for his character arc, I would like him to name himself at some point. Even if it’s a name that only exists for private spaces, I want him to complete that self determination, to at least try it out, even if ultimately Yamato is the name everyone else will know him by.

Physical Transition Stuff

i will confess i hurt to imagine these shinobi binding 😭😭 even if an individual is binding safely (well made binder, no more than 8 hours, AND No Physically Intense Activity) they stand to risk hurting themself! In real life we gotta balance out the physical pain and the pain of dysphoria, but this is naruto and I’m Gonna Play Some Headcanon Games!

If chakra is both a kind of spiritual energy as well as directly connected to the body (as we learned in the hyūga fight) then it stands to reason that by manipulating ones own chakra, they can manipulate the body, or at least the way the body changes (such as naruto’s healing factor)

This probably is not the safest thing to do unless you’re a mednin or following the directions of one, LMAO

The second the hell of puberty started up for Tenzō he tried to hold it back by sheer force of willpower + chakra manipulation alone

but, manually controlling one’s chakra is like trying to prevent a stream from flowing with your hands alone, which is to say: an exhausting uphill battle.

He’d probably only be doing it on his down time and not on a mission, but even still the most I bet he could make it doing that without getting figured out is two months.

Luckily blockers are readily available, Tenzō just had no idea and, gender being a private experience for him, was trying to handle the whole thing entirely on his own. Soon after attempting to self-regulate hormones him-fucking-self like a very valid but desperate fool, he gets an appointment, gets a prescription, and can chill out and not have to be as hellishly aware of his body constantly.

Konoha mednin will say trans rights even if the village itself is garbage, this series is so god damn weird already, nobody can tell me a ninja taking hormones is somehow weirder than a ninja taking his dead best friends genetic superpower eye.

TWO WEEKS, THREE SPARS, AND ONE VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CONVERSATION LATER:

u might think kakashi is passing him a water bottle and they both look so exhausted bc its post spar but no. physically theyre fine, but the emotional toll of having to talk about something either of them care at all about? miracle they survived.

#lesbians4tenten #Tenzō #yamato #headcanons #kakashi says that so heavily bc both of them hate going to the hospital but blood tests are necessary for HRT usually #also kakashi is definitely trans as well. i have less headcanons about that bc i see him as like. Even More Private than yamato #(he hides 3/4 of his face. trans icon. also personal privacy icon.)#so like skdjghdskjhg him getting involved is not a moment of Concerned Cis Meddling but like. 'ghghhg this is bad. i gotta step in'#i hc that like he was one of those kids that by the time he was four he was like hey dad im a boy and sakumo was like. fuck ok!#i guess i got a son now!#yamato just did not think about it much #also while i see him having long hair as inherently him repressing his identity it has nothing to do with long hair being 'feminine'#esp bc most of the older men in naruto have long hair. sakumo j*raiya orochimaru madara the whole hyūga clan of men #but instead much more to do with. him repressing being tenzō in order to be kinoe for danzō #and if hashirama had long hair. and all he is is a weapon for hashiramas power to be used through. he too will have long hair.#its also why i wont draw yamato with long hair. while he is handsome with long hair...and an argument COULD be made for him reclaiming it #i feel like aesthetically it represents a return to a relationship he had with his body and with the idea of hashirama #that i am not interested in exploring #perhaps in sage mode it goes very long. and then he has a friend cut it off for him every time #that i could draw #ANYWAY I think everyone should have as many names as they want. you want to be called something? that's your name now congratulations #trans? cis? not sure? doesn't matter the world is your oyster and you can be called anything you want #if people dont respect that theyre jealous and being rude af lmao #image desc in alt text #for all thats worth

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Part of the reason I lean so hard into the juvie origin for Dick in particular, as well as why his cop storyline pisses me off so much in light of that (given they were both the work of the same writer and wtf, why would a kid who got screwed so massively by the system ever grow up wanting to become PART of it? even to ‘fix it’ given that would require still working in service to it at least part of the time, in order to move up the ladder to positions of power within it in the first place? BUT I DIGRESS).

Where was I? Oh yeah. So part of the reason for that is because I view each of the Batkids as having their own specific metaphorical niche, based on their origins.

What I mean by that is like: the true villain of Jason’s origin and backstory is poverty as a whole. The impoverished status of his parents and his surrounding community are definitive stressors that lead directly into all the most critical elements of Jason’s origin: his father working as a henchman for various crime lords, which pretty directly loops back and into his alcoholism and abuse of his wife and son....his mother’s spiral into addiction after turning to drugs as a means of self-medicating for all the stress and shit in her own life which she needed an escape from....Jason’s own lack of options as a child seeking to support himself on the street and with petty crimes, as well as his unwillingness to put his faith in foster care or any adults in general, given how they as a whole tended to look at him, specifically due to his impoverished background and thus making assumptions about his intellect, potential, and overall ‘value’ to society.....

Jason is who he is as a character for a variety of reasons, but none moreso or more directly than the poverty that acts as a direct anthropomorphized antagonist for him....and thus, is the focal point of where Jason directs his attention and his own antagonism as an adult. When Jason seeks to take control of crime in Gotham, when he targets drug dealers, etc....its really the deliberately inflicted and perpetuated impoverished state of Gotham’s lower class that he’s combating. And that works perfectly for Jason as a metaphor and a character direction, and gives him a clearly defined niche in the Batfamily.

Then we have Tim, who I would argue has an origin and backstory defined by the apathy of the upper class as an antagonist, and thus, the perfect metaphor for him and his character direction. The self-centered tendencies of his parents, his history of neglect and the necessitated self-reliance and independence it instilled in him from a very early age - which could have very easily turned him into a copy of his parents, with that self-sufficiency turning into a mirror of their self-centeredness and repeating the cycle if he hadn’t actively broken the mold with his actions by seeking out Batman and picking him as someone, ANYONE to try and help, rather than focus entirely on himself and his own needs....and in near adulthood, Tim has become someone whose chosen focus tends to be on trying to repurpose his wealth and resources for the good of all of Gotham...essentially, the very people that for so long his parents and fellow upper class ignored and exploited.

Of course, Tim is still a product of his background as much as he’s aware of the flaws in it, much like Bruce himself, so similar to Bruce, Tim will always look at his wealth/resources in terms of the good he feels he can do with it, which he sees as more than any good that would come from just directly giving it away. In contrast to Jason and Dick, who come from entirely different backgrounds and have always prioritized their own more modest or otherwise-gained means of income or resources, even when investing in projects intended to help others - they look at things in terms of the good they feel they can do WITHOUT needing money, or as much money. Its the result of coming into resources from entirely different directions....which are sustained even as they then continue their trajectories in those opposite directions but now with added resources under their belts.

Cass and Damian are the two Batkids I would love to see explored more in juxtaposition and contrast to each other, because I feel they occupy very similar but opposite niches, the same as Jason and Tim represent the stresses of poverty vs the apathy of excess. Because Cass and Damian represent the two flip sides of parental expectations....BUT in their case, they start out on the same page. What I mean by that is the metaphorical antagonist of both of their origins and backstories IS the bogeyman of parental expectations taken to the absolute extreme. They both exist in at least one of their parents’ eyes to essentially be what their parent wants or expects them to be. An end result of carefully planned and executed molding of a next generation, with no real consideration for what that next generation wants for themselves.

They simply diverge in how they both break free of those expectations and the limitations built into them, and where they go from there. Damian finds his niche (or comes closest to it IMO, since I feel a lot of writers, at least lately, have regressed him from the considerable progress he made in this regard, and where and when he was his most fully...DAMIAN).....essentially, Damian is most fundamentally Damian, I feel, when he’s able to put aside what he thinks Talia and Bruce want or expect him to be...and instead simply prioritizes figuring out what HE wants to be and what that looks like, even if it ends up having no connection to the League or even Batman at all. Or at least not in the ways he always expected those connections to look like, as a result of the expectations that were drilled into him from an early age. Damian’s metaphor is pushing back against selfish parental expectations by saying I no longer care what your expectations are, they have nothing to do with me.

In contrast, Cassandra finds her niche in the fulfillment of not the expectations precisely, but the HOPES of a NEW parental figure, aka Bruce. Cassandra, out of all the Batkids, most fully CHOSE Bruce and everything he represented and offered, as much as Bruce chose her. She was the oldest of all the Batkids - except for perhaps Duke - when she met Bruce in the various continuities, and she had the maturity and life experiences to at least be able to recognize the different life path Bruce stood for and offered, as a contrast to the one David Cain had laid out for her and forced upon her from birth. So Cassandra differs from Damian in that while Damian grows the more he breaks away from the mold of Batman, Cassandra finds herself the closer she gets to what Bruce has always wanted Batman TO be, in the example he puts forth and holds up to show her that there’s more to life, to her, to what she can be, than simply what David told her existed.

Its no coincidence that she’s so often cited both in universe and out of it as one of the, if not the, ideal successor to the cowl.....not just because of how much she embodies the specific ideals and yes, expectations, that the cowl holds....but because she CHOSE that, with INTENT. Unlike even Dick, who Bruce has at times said is what he always wanted Batman to be....Cass is this as well, but Cass is this deliberately, because Bruce found her, and then he held up these ideals and convictions and said ‘this is what I prioritize, this is what I think is important’ and Cass looked at those and said yes, good, I like those, I like what they stand for, I want to BE those.....and she found fulfillment in fulfilling Bruce’s hopes for a next generation even without either of them FORCING that fulfillment on her, unlike what David did or tried to do. And that’s what makes all the difference in the world in Cassandra’s situation and in her and Bruce’s dynamic....and is a large part of the reason, IMO, that they have one of the strongest and healthiest dynamics of any that exist between Bruce and one of his kids.

Duke is a very unique niche as well. In short, the true villain of Duke’s origin is an ACTUAL supervillain....which coincides thematically with the direction of Duke’s character as a meta with superpowers himself, something that historically is pretty unprecedented within the Bat franchise, at least as far as Batman’s allies and direct family go. Bruce’s distrust of meta’s, or at least discomfort with them, is well established and longterm, so Duke represents an extreme break in tradition for Bruce, as well as having hallmarks to the sphere of thought that Batman and other vigilantes, by their very existence, bring about the existence of supervillains like the Joker and the Riddler. I’m still working out the kinks in this metaphor, tbh, in part because of how relatively new Duke is, he doesn’t have even the decade worth of content and story direction that Damian has by this point, to point to how some directions serve a character better than others....but overall, I see the most potential in Duke as a metaphor and niche in the Batfamily as like....as the Signal, he’s the embodiment of potential, once allowed to be REALIZED, rather than shied away from because of pre-existing beliefs or perspectives. Of course, the fact that Duke is black can’t be disconnected from this, which is part of things here as well....I’m not at all the best person to explore this particular metaphor to its fullest, so anyone who wants to take it and run with it more thoroughly if they see any validity in it at all, I’d very much like to see your thoughts if you ever write them out.

Which brings me back to Dick’s metaphor and niche in the Batfamily and franchise, and why the juvie origin works best for him IMO.....because the specter of Dick’s origin and backstory, the true villain even moreso than Tony Zucco himself, is the system as a whole. The way it is built and structured to exploit less advantaged members of society to the benefit of the upper class...such as the Court of Owls. Everything about Dick’s individual character direction falls pretty neatly into this chain of thinking, IMO....Tony Zucco murdered Dick’s parents, yes, but it was the system that took Dick away from his extended family, his planned life direction as an entertainer, everything he was familiar and comfortable with...and said it was for his own good, they knew best, he was better off this way. It was the system that ‘lost’ him in juvie when it was just more convenient than figuring out what to do with him, or just plain didn’t care, or due to the actions of a single racist case worker perhaps, or maybe even done at the behest of the Court of Owls in an attempt to wear away at the morality and resistance their future Talon might have to their plans for him. Bottom line is, everything about how Dick ended up where he was and on the course he ended up taking through life, is a direct result of the system’s manipulations of him in service not to HIM and what was best for him, as a member of society himself, but entirely at the whims or discretion of others.

Which is why Dick’s choice to become a cop both works and doesn’t work....I can see how at eighteen he might have briefly entertained the idea of trying to change the system from the inside...BUT it only works if the stories that result from that make no attempt to glorify or romanticize the work or character of any of his colleagues, and instead simply make him realize that he can’t change the system by becoming a cog in its flawed machinery, no matter his intentions...and that’s why he’s best served operating outside of it, as a vigilante. Bruce is a vigilante because he feels he exists to pick up the slack where the system fails, or is broken, because Bruce is someone who the system actually is meant to work FOR, and thus the times it doesn’t work that way, such as with the deaths of his parents....IS a result of a failure on the system’s part. In contrast, Dick, for all the superficial similarities in their origins, is someone who the system was never meant to work for, and IMO, Dick is best served as a character at the times and points when he’s allowed to RECOGNIZE this....and thus Dick is a vigilante for the sole reason that he’s someone who puts his faith in individuals rather than institutions. He’d much rather trust in the morality of singular people that he KNOWS and VALUES, rather than the morality of an uncaring system of bureaucracies and red tape.

And again, IMO Dick works best as both a metaphor and a character with a clearly defined niche and purpose when he targets the system directly with his actions. Whether its fighting their embodiment as the Court of Owls and their attempts to exploit him, or pouring his own time, energy and resources into trying to buy and renovate the former entertainment district of Gotham and turn it into a sanctuary for impoverished Gothamites to visit cheaply as a break from their stressors (I’ve talked a lot about how similar I view Jason and Dick being, at their core, so its no surprise that I see their metaphors and niches as being so closely linked, even if not entirely the same). And of course, even if you hate Dick as a cop as much as I do, his focus there still fits what I’m laying out here, for the same reasons, its just the actuality of it that doesn’t work as intended, for the reasons I already mentioned.

So yeah. That’s my post. That was a post. This post is concluded. Man I suck at denoument.

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mxenigmatic · 3 years

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2020’s Self Care Books for Trying Times

With Covid-19 a global pandemic that is still lingering in the air, and keeping our connections at a social distance, added how here at NYPL our librarians miss the frequent interactions with our patrons, I was contemplating on ways to keep our reading connected, our souls warm, and our health having its self care. Before google, I’d rely on the plethora of information our branches hold on any challenge in life I’d be facing. Now with a myriad of problems we can tackle, and resources we can all use to improve our lives, I wanted to tackle grounding and elevating ourselves to cope with our surroundings, than advice I can provide on financial, relationship, life goals, etc.

In this blog “2020’s Self Care Books 4 Trying Times” I’ve comprised my 20 favorite titles for the year 2020 on wellness, people’s journeys, and how health experts can help guide us to a calm and vibrant place for our wellbeing. From parenting tips, to self acceptance, coping with a mental health disorder, or even self care rituals, the need for healthy habits is a topic we all can relate and rely on to keep us striving through this winter, and being united through our current unstable climate. We should never be ashamed of our experiences, asking for help, and addressing challenges in our lives to be at peace with our pasts, content with our present, and hopeful about our futures.

What is Self-care, according to very well mind, describes a conscious act one takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many forms self-care may take. It could be ensuring you get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air.

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness refers to being in the moment. This means feeling what our bodies feel, letting ourselves think without judging our thoughts, and being aware of our environment. It is about paying attention on purpose to both what is happening inside and outside of you.

ADULT

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

Topics: Professional Development, Success, Psych Evaluation

One of the most inspiring and impactful books ever written, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has captivated readers for nearly three decades. It has transformed the lives of presidents and CEOs, educators and parents—millions of people of all ages and occupations. Now, this 30th anniversary edition of the timeless classic commemorates the wisdom of the 7 habits with modern additions from Sean Covey. The 7 habits have become famous and are integrated into everyday thinking by millions and millions of people. Why? Because they work!With Sean Covey's added takeaways on how the habits can be used in our modern age, the wisdom of the 7 habits will be refreshed for a new generation of leaders.

Stay Positive: Encouraging Quotes and Messages to Fuel Your Life With Positive Energy by Jon Gordon

Topics: Self Help, Affirmations, Optimism

Stay Positive is more than a phrase. It's an approach to life that says when you get knocked down, you'll get back up and find a way forward one faithful step and optimistic day at a time. Start your day with a message from the book, or pick it up anytime you need a mental boost. You can start from the beginning, or open the book to any page and find a message that speaks to you. The book is a go-to resource for anyone wanting to inject a healthy dose of positivity into their life

$9 Therapy: Semi-Capitalist Solutions to Your Emotional Problems by Megan Reid and Nick Greene

Topics: Life Skills/Hacks, Self Care Rituals, Budgeting

A collection of the authors' favorite life hacks and mini-upgrades, such as craft cocktails on the cheap or tips for a perfectly planned staycation. Sometimes it takes as little as nine dollars to turn your life around. How to find simple pleasures in a pricey, wellness-obsessed world.

You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance by Chani Nicholas

Topics: Astrology, Self Acceptance

A revolutionary empowerment book that uses astrology as a tool for self-discovery, success, and self-care from the beloved astrologer Chani Nicholas, a media darling with a loyal following of one million monthly readers.

TEEN

Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents by Matthew Brensilver

Topics: Mindfulness, Educational Guides, Learning Disabilities, Reflections

Effectively sharing mindfulness with teenagers depends on distinct skill sets . . . done well, it is incredibly joyous." Matthew Brensilver, JoAnna Hardy and Oren Jay Sofer provide a powerful guide to help teachers master the essential competencies needed to successfully share mindfulness practices with teens and adolescents. Incorporating anecdotes from actual teaching, they blend the latest scientific research with innovative, original techniques for making the practices accessible and interesting to this age group. This text is an indispensable handbook for mindfulness instruction in its own right, and a robust companion volume for teachers using The Mindful Schools Curriculum for Adolescents

The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color by Virgie Tovar

Topics: Self Esteem, Plus Size Positivity, Hygiene

Every day we see body ideals depicted in movies, magazines, and social media. And, all too often, these outdated standards make us feel like we need to change how we look and who we are. The truth is that many teens feel self-conscious about their bodies and being a teen girl of color is hard in unique ways. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you're surrounded by these unrealistic, and problematic images of what bodies are "supposed" to look like? This book is an unapologetic guide to help you embrace radical body positivity. You'll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty and bodies; celebrate what makes you unique and powerful; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You'll also learn how to spot diet culture and smash your noisy inner critic so you can start loving your body. It's time to create your own definition of beautiful and recognize that your body is amazing. It's time for a self-love revolution!

Out!: How To Be Your Authentic Self by Miles McKenna

Topics: Coming Out, Self Acceptance, Family Dynamics

Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate YA guide to the queer lifestyle. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small--whether you're exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life."

Dancing at the Pity Party: A Dead Mom Graphic Memoir by Tyler Feder

Topics: Grief Counseling, Coping with terminal illness, Bereavement. Family Estrangement

Tyler Feder shares her story of her mother's first oncology appointment to facing reality as a motherless daughter in this frank and refreshingly funny graphic memoir.

Superpowered: Transform Anxiety Into Courage, Confidence, and Resilience by Renee Jain and Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Topics: Health, Fitness, Selt Esteem.

The perfect tool for children facing new social and emotional challenges in an increasingly disconnected world! This how-to book from two psychology experts—packed with fun graphics and quizzes—will help kids transform stress, worry, and anxiety

Teen Guide to Mental Health by Don Nardo

Topics: Teens, Mental Health, Body Image, Puberty

Todays teens face and are expected to deal with a wide array of personal, social, and other issues involving home-life, school, dating, body image, sexual orientation, major life transitions, and in some cases physical and mental problems, including eating disorders and depression. This volume examines how many teens have learned to cope with and survive these often stressful trials and tribulations of modern youth.

KIDS

Turtle Boy by Evan Wolkenstein

Topics: Social Life, Friends, Relationships, School Stress

Seventh grade is not going well for Will Levine. Kids at school bully him because of his funny-looking chin. His science teacher finds out about the turtles he spent his summer collecting from the marsh behind school an orders him to release them back into the wild. And for his Bar Mitzvah community service project, he has to go to the hospital to visit RJ, an older boy struggling with an incurable disease. Unfortunately, Will hates hospitals. At first, the boys don't get along, but then RJ shares his bucket list with Will. Among the things he wants to do: ride a roller coaster, go to a concert and a school dance, swim in the ocean. To Will, happiness is hanging out in his room, alone, preferably with his turtles. But as RJ's disease worsens, Will realizes he needs to tackle the bucket list on his new friend's behalf before it's too late. It seems like an impossible mission, way outside Will's comfort zone. But as he completes each task with RJ's guidance, Will learns that life is too short to live in a shell.

How To Make A Better World: For Every Kid Who Wants To Make A Difference by Keilly Swift

Topics: Activism, Human Rights, Organizing

If you are a kid with big dreams and a passion for what is right, you're a world-changer in the making. There's a lot that can be changed by just one person, if you know what to do. Start by making yourself into the awesome person you want to be by learning all about self-care and kindness. Using those skills, work your way up to creating activist campaigns to tackle climate change or social injustice. This fun and inspiring guide to making the world a better place and becoming a good citizen is packed with ideas and tips for kids who want to know how to make a difference. From ideas as small as creating a neighborhood lending library to important ideas such as public speaking and how to talk about politics, How to Make a Better World is a practical guide to activism for awesome kids.

All About Anxiety by Carrie Lewis

Anxiety. It's an emotion that rears its head almost every day, from the normal worries and concerns that most of us experience, to outright fear when something scary happens, to the anxiety disorders, that many kids live with daily. But what causes anxiety? And what can we do about it? All About Anxiety tackles these questions from every possible angle. Readers will learn what's going on in their brain and central nervous system when they feel anxious. They'll learn about the evolutionary reasons for fear and anxiety and that anxiety isn't always a bad thing--except for when it is! Most importantly, kids will discover new strategies to manage their anxiety so they can live and thrive with anxiety

Dictionary for a better world: poems, quotes, and anecdotes from A to Z by Irene Latham

Topics: Inspiration, Self Help, Advice

Organized as a dictionary, entries in this book for middle-grade readers present words related to creating a better, more inclusive world. Each word is explored via a poem, a quote from an inspiring person, and a short personal anecdote from one of the co-authors, a prompt for how to translate the word into action, and an illustration".

I feel... meh by DJ Corchin

(E-book)Topics: Health, Fitness, Management

This series helps kids recognize, express, and deal with the roller coaster of emotions they feel every day. It has been celebrated by therapists, psychologists, teachers, and parents as wonderful tools to help children develop self-awareness for their feelings and those of their friends. Sometimes I feel meh and I don't want to play. I don't want to read and I have nothing to say. Sometimes you just feel...meh. You don't really feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. You're not even sure how you're feeling inside. Is that bad? With fun, witty illustrations and simple, straightforward text, I Feel...Meh tackles apathy—recognizing it as a valid emotion, while also offering practical steps to get you out of your emotional slump. It's the perfect way for kids—and adults—who are feeling gray to find some joy again!

Violet Shrink by Christine Baldacchino

Topics: Phobias, Relationships, Social Skills

Violet Shrink doesn't like parties. Or bashes, or gatherings. Lots of people and lots of noise make Violet's tummy ache and her hands sweat. She would much rather spend time on her own, watching the birds in her backyard, reading comics, or listening to music through her purple headphones. The problem is that the whole Shrink family loves parties with loud music and games and dancing. At cousin Char's birthday party, Violet hides under a table and imagines she is a shark gliding effortlessly through the water, looking for food. And at Auntie Marlene and Uncle Leli's anniversary bash, Violet sits alone at the top of the stairs, imagining she is a slithering snake way up in the branches. When Violet learns that the Shrink family reunion is fast approaching, she musters up the courage to have a talk with her dad. In this thoughtful story about understanding and acceptance, Violet's natural introversion and feelings of social anxiety are normalized when she and her father reach a solution together. Christine Baldacchino's warm text demonstrates the role imagination often plays for children dealing with anxiety, and the power of a child expressing their feelings to a parent who is there to listen. Carmen Mok's charming illustrations perfectly capture Violet's emotions and the vibrancy of her imagination. A valuable contribution to books addressing mental health."-- Provided by publisher.

Check out this link to a presentation by NYPL’s Children’s Librarians, Sarah West and Justine Toussaint on Mindfulness/Social-Emotional Self-Esteem Picture Book Spotlight. Featuring popular book titles in our database of the past few years promoting kids well beings!

Pre-2020 Books

Aphorism by Franz Kafka

Topics: Life Quotes, Recovery, Future Planning

For the first time, a single volume that collects all of the aphorisms penned by this universally acclaimed twentieth-century literary figure. Kafka twice wrote aphorisms in his lifetime. The first effort was a series of 109, known as the Zurau Aphorisms, which were written between September 1917 and April 1918, and originally published posthumously by his friend, Max Brod, in 1931. These aphorisms reflect on metaphysical and theological issues--as well as the occasional dog. The second sequence of aphorisms, numbering 41, appears in Kafka's 1920 diary dating from January 6 to February 29. It is in these aphorisms, whose subject is "He," where Kafka distills the unexpected nature of experience as one shaped by exigency and possibility."

This Book Loves You by PewDiePie

Topics: Life Skills, Inspiration, Food 4 Thought

A popular blogger shares humorous pieces of advice and positivity, including "Never forget you are beautiful compared to a fish" and "Every day is a new fresh start to stay in bed."

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life by Mark Manson

Topic: Self Help, Happiness, Motivation

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be 'positive' all the time and instead become better at handling adversity. For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. But those days are over. 'Fuck positivity, ' Mark Manson says. 'Let's be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.' For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book. Manson makes the argument--backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, 'Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.' Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek. 'In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.' Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives."

Zen Pencils: Cartoon Quotes From Inspirational Folks by Gavin Aung Than

Topics: Writing Development, Expression, Quotes

Gavin Aung Than, an Australian graphic designer turned cartoonist, started the weekly Zen Pencils blog in February 2012. He describes his motivation for launching Zen Pencils: I was working in the boring corporate graphic design industry for eight years before finally quitting at the end of 2011 to pursue my passion for illustration and cartooning. At my old job, when my boss wasn't looking, I would waste time reading Wikipedia pages, main biographies about people whose lives were a lot more interesting than mine. Their stories and quotes eventually inspired me to leave my job to focus on what I really wanted to do. The idea of taking these inspiring quotes, combining them with my love of drawing, and sharing them with others led to the creation of Zen Pencils.

By: @Mx.Enigma

She/They/Queen

#new blog #booksarelife #self care #library #nyc #nonbinary #nypl #life hacks

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years

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Personal, unpopular opinion on grief [ZEP S1 EDITION]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SENSITIVE TOPICS: GRIEF & DEATH OF LOVED ONES. DO NOT READ IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NOT HANDLE READING ABOUT SUCH TOPICS.

This post was inspired by ZEP (”Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” & the Season 1 storyline...that is related to Zoey’s dad, Mitch & what’s we all knew would happen..soon/in the S1 finale. His death. And the grief.., other characters feelings about what’s to come and (now) what’s happened.

In this post I will discuss some of the things related to grief that the show/storyline (creator, writers) talk about, and that the cast talk about. How they talk about grief. And I will discuss some of the things related to death & grief...from my personal experience.

But first, I'd like to start with a few important points:

1. All humans (and all fictional characters) are different. So we all process things differently & act differently...in same/similar situations. This also applies to grief and grieving, and feelings about life & death. These characters way of dealing with grief is “valid”, and so is mine. But its just strange that only one POV seems to be represented on the show...mostly (and yes, we see it all through Zoey’s eyes, so it’s her POV that dominates)

What would have worked better on ZEP... IMO:

What I would have appreciated from the show is for them to show both sides more. To have characters express different views on grief, and death. More, and longer than they did with Deb in 1x11 & Howie’s speech to Zoey in 1x12. It would’ve been more believable if not everyone was seeing it the same way...if there’s been counter-arguments.

Like...regarding the idea that only someone, who has had the exact same experience (lost their dad/husband), would understand you/your grief. They really hammered that “truth” with Zoey/Simon grief connection. And even a bit with Zoey finding another widow, Deb, to talk to her mom...cause she herself hadn’t lost a husband of 30+ years...so she would not understand (but, really, it’s more about her inability to deal with/express her emotions, and hiding them, and needing help with understanding others emotions...which her new sperpower is supposed to help her with]. They also had the whole family deal with it all pretty similarily.

Just have one character tell Zoey that she doesn’t need someone with the same experience to have them understand her, and support her, and help her through this. That having the same experience does not automatically mean “instant connection”. Because...every death/experience is different, and so are Zoey��s & Simon’s...so it doesn’t even make sense to me that they’d automatically connect cause both lost their fathers. Why did no one point that out to her? Why did no one ever pose a counter argument?

And why does she/the show seem to think that no one else has the same experience and/or would understand? I mean...most adults have lost someone by the time they turn 25... so if we’d get to know the characters more, we’d probably learn all of them have lost someone (maybe not a parent, but perhaps a grandparent?) They did that...a bit..with Joan & her mom story in 1x10. But again... too little, too “late”. She would’ve really needed to hear those things...sooner. Realizing that she can connecct to others...and others can connect to her. That all it takes is someone who wants to help her...and be there for her... whether they have the same experience or not. (maybe Tobin has lost someone, and it would’ve been helpful for Zoey to connect to him/talk to him?

This made it really hard (read: impossible) to “get” their grief bond, or take it “seriously”: Because the idea that no one questioned this just seemed ..strange. Sure..Zoey definitely believes this to be true, but... for no other character to question the validity of it... just seemed... too... strange. And since I personally don’t think that one needs to have the same experience to understand other person, and be the shoulder they lean on...but that instead it just takes someone who knows you and wants to be there for you... it was difficult to buy the whole “grief bond” they were selling.

Which is probably why I never got their “connection”. And only saw it as lust from both sides, and just her/them displacing their greif...and nothing more. So that...and the fact that as human as having feelings for someone else while youre engaged is, I DO NOT support the storyline which tries to say that just because Simon is hot it’s ok for him to have an emotional affair with Zoey while he’s engaged. That somehow the hotness factor makes it OK, cause it’s “very human”, and “grief made him do it”. Nope...I’d quote Mo here, just replacing “powers” with “grief”. Mo’s words to her “Don’t blame the powers grief. This one’s all on you.” apply here...IMO. They both need to do better!

And I also had a hard time “believing” that a brain-person like Zoey (she’s a coder, problem-solver) would be so irrational, and even though she’s also presented as “a hot mess kind of person”, her irrationality & behaviours just seemed not something I’d expect from someone like her. I, too, see world s black & white. So this is why to me two options remain: either she is just shouting cichees & lies to others OR she is out-of-character (by choice, not cause of grief or powers). I mean... she understood issues with grief and gave great advice to Simon since ep 1...yet she herself did the opposite. She made all the mistakes he had made (not learning from him, but choosing the same wrong route, not taking her own advice: talk to someone..etc).

For me, personally, I cannot “connect” with the characters (Clarke family...or the showrunner, whose said that his experiences/feels are represented by the characters) and their grief, even though I’ve had similar exprience (with my dad ... though it wasn’t a rare disease, but cancer). But no two people, not two different deaths are similar. And I guess I (and my family) are less emotional & more logical...when it comes to topics of life & death. Our (and especially mine) view is more like the other option Howie, the caregiver, presented to Zoey as they ate ice cream and talked about what’s to come..in the S1 finale.

I have, in general, a hard time buying the show, because I’m just too logical and brain person, and this is still a TV show...even if it’s based on real life events. It’s still adapted, and fictional elements have been added...to fit it for screen. So... since it was hard for me to believe that in all the prior months...ever since Mitch had been diagnosed... no one had really done any of the things they all suddenly came up with...

Like realizing there are ways to communicate with Mitch ( or...try to communicate with him)...even if he can’t really speak or move. Suddenly Zoey has an idea to create a computer programme which lets her dad type his messages. Like..she’s smart, and tech savvy...and in no way do I find it believeble that she’d not thought of this before she got her superpower...and was motivated only by hearing his thoughts. Did no doctor inform them about the details of her fathers condition? Did everone claim he is already unable to understand speech etc...with 100% certainty? Did none of them just try to talk to him...etc...without being sure he can hear/understand...still? You know...like they encourage talking to people in coma, for example.

Like...coming to the idea of a chairlift...before Mitch actually fell..while being helped up the stairs. What did they do all the prior months? When he’d already lost the ability to walk? When he still was able to talk? For a family that is so close, I find it quite unbelievable that they never talked about...anything. Even if they touched upon this in episode 1x11 when Zoey asked Maggie why they didnt do any of the planning sooner, she claims none of them expected it to happen so fast. Like...their doctor seems OK, so how are they so uninformed? When we know that Zoeys style is to read up on all the topics she wants to know about. She would read all the research there is...so she’d know... quite a bit.

Like them thinking that a temporary improvement means a “cure”. None of them are clueless, they’re all smart, so I don’t also buy them not knowing that this is progressive, and there is no cure, and after the person loses as many abilities as Mitch had by the time we met this family (hard to swallow, no speech...), then they don’t have much time left. Same with these smart people not knowing that based on several observations... most people report that dying people usually become “alert/more responsive”..just before the end. So... Mitch having a good day the day before he died was a clear sign he’s about to die.

Like...if we actually analyse it, it seems as if they “stood still” for months...ever since Mitch was diagnosed. And then suddenly...”thanks” to Zoey’s superpower, they start getting ideas, and do stuff, and talk to each other... which doesnt seem to have happened...at all... during all the prior months. How?

It just seems too much “done to fit the TV format”, and it doesn’t seem to make much sense...actually...

MY OWN EXPERIENCES:

I lost my first grandfather when I was a kid & he was only in his 60s (so quite young). That was an unexpeted & sudden event that no one saw coming (example: heart attack, stroke). I lost my other grandparents when I was in my 20s (they both lived a full life: 84 & 92...and were ready to go) & I lost my last grandma last year (she was almost 89...and outlived her husband by around 25 years)...after her health had been declining... for a while. And I lost my father about 3 years ago (he was in his 60s)... knowing he had max 6 months left by then.

I will talk, a bit, about my dad, who died 3 years ago, in 2017, and my finnish grandma, who died last year...just a month before her 89th birthday.

**************************************

With my dad... I had kinda lost him once before, because 5 years earlier he had a serious health issue, and his heart stopped on the operating table. But he was revived. And though he was in a coma for over a week, he did survive, and had no permanent damage. He had to go through extensive physiotherapy and learn to walk properly again, and hold a spoon again (fine motorskills), but his mind/brain/memory was unharmed. But...nonetheless, I sat beside him while he was in a coma, and I sat beside him after he had woken up...

That health issue lead to his cancer diagnosis though...cause without it he’d never gone to see a doc on his own, and wouldn’t have known, probably. He was stage 3 when diagnosed, and though he tried all kinds of different treatment options, it progressed to stage 4 (that’s what lifetime of smoking does to your lungs!), and by 2016 he had metastasis in his spine..etc, and it was clear he had months/max a year left. It was a guesswork though how long exactly.

But his medicine cabinet was more impressive than Mitch’s by the end. It got more serious at the end of 2016, and he basically survived with extra oxygene (help from a “ventilator”) & “morphine”. He probably would’ve kept himself alive for several more months, but he had a health issue in January 2017, and his body was just too weak (from chemo, from treatments from...) that he didn’t make it this time. And though I/we had longer than a year to “prepare”, these fictional characters also had time...

Yet, for me, personally, that death was not as hard. (in all honesty, I’d been expecting his cancer diagnosis since I was in highschool... I honestly couldn’t believe he had any lungs left...with his heavy smoking)

*****************************************

For me, personally, the hardest was my other grandma’s end of life.. The one who died last year. But not the death...but her last years instead. And though my first grandma (who died almost 15 years ago) had memory issues during her last years, cause she’d had 2 stokes & she kept mixing up people & events (calling people by wrong name, mixing us up), she had my grandpa by her side...til the end. But with my other grandma... whose health had been declining...step by step..over past 5-10 years, it was different. To the point that my aunt/her daughter was her guardian, cause she wasn’t capable of making her own decisions anymore... even if at times she had a clear mind. And one of those times was her last, 88th Birthday in 2018.

She never vebalized it...never was able to say the words (though she did talk... a bit), but I could see it in her eyes/look... she wanted to go... but “modern medicine” was keeping her body alive. And for me it was hard, because I am a supporter of a persons choice to choose assisted ending, but I’m the only one in the family who really supports this. And since she never actually said the words, and since I could not be 100% sure that what I thought I “read in her eyes” was what she was actually thinking, I could not be sure. But I considered her last 1-2 years of life just torture for her. So... as sad as I was, I was relieved when I got the call a year ago, on May 26th (exactly one month before her next birthday would’ve been)...that she’d died, I was happy that she “didn’t have to suffer anymore”. We scattered her ashes one month later, in last June, on what would have been her 89th birthday.

If my mom and aunt, who were there with her during her lasts days, would have told me the day before how “perky” she seemed the day before she passed, I would’ve known that it’s about to happen. But they told me when they called after it had happened.

Death has never been something to fear in our family. My grandparents (their story is like a fairytale, where after she was gone he had "no reason to hold onto life anymore”, so he went just 4 months later...) even prepped everything themselves. They were prepared, though Mo on the show is more prepared. They had everything chosen & organized & planned (the plot, the main details), so everything was done according to their “notes” basically. With others it’s been more general...like where (which cemetary) they wanna be buried and/or cremated.

Yes, there is a lot under the (and etcetera)...from dealing with subsciptions on the persons name... to the bank... to job related stuff... next to the actual “burial event”. And while a good funeral home helps you a lot... and does a lot of the work for you (transportation...etc), then there is a lot that you/the family have to do before/after all this. But still... it’s not that difficult to get it all done. I did half the work when my dad died (lots of calls, emails, visits to offices/banks...etc).. to deal with all the paperwork and more.

I understand that I may sound like a cold person to many, but in my experience death & funerals have never been “end of the world”...like they’re often done on TV. Cause in most cases they only show death & grief in one way on TV.... as “end of the world drama”. When we need more POV’s like the other option Howie represented to Zoey. (and then the characters can choose which was is their way)

So...honestly, I have a hard time “connecting” with the ZEP season 1 grief plot....the way it was done. Even though I can draw many parallels between Mitch(’s health) & my dad(’s health). We knew that he had not much left, but he ended up going faster & “unexpectedly” so he was gone about a month after his health took a turn to the worse...and we had known that all there was left to do was to wait...

And yet, based on most of the online comments, reviews, etc..I’ve seen online, most find it easy to connect, and “feel the same way” and I seem to be alone in my “weirdness” and different look at the grief and greif storyline.

AM I ALONE IN THINKING THIS WAY? (MOST LIKELY)

Did anyone else find it hard to believe the Zoey/SImon “grief connection” they tried to establish?

Did anyone else find it hard to believe that such a close family had just been sitting & waiting for months (ever since last year, when Mitch was diagnosed), and not done anything....until Zoey’s superpower makes them magically start taking all sorts of steps?

Did anyone think that the focus was not enough of the family, da/daughter, and grief...and too much on the love triangle? (even if the two storylines are connected...strongly)

#ZEP #ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEYS EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEY'S EP #PERSONAL #UNPOPULAR OPINION #GRIEF #DEATH AND GRIEF #ZEP SEASON 1 #ZEP S1 #SEASON 1 #MY THOUGHTS #ABOUT ME #I WISH I WOULD NOT ANALYSE AND DISSECT EVERY DETAIL ON TV SHOWS...#IT IS WHAT IT IS #LONG POST #TEXT POST

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ayankun · 4 years

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AoS S2 Rewatch Briefest of Thoughts

Maybe watching a thing five times is too many times lololol

First I have to admit, I found myself spacing out through a lot of this season. I mean, my annual rewatches are typically always in the background of other activities, but this time through I definitely just didn’t pay attention to a lot of it.

Even so, here is a list of Things I Noticed This Time:

Not sure if watching S1 directly before this really made a difference or not, but this time I have a much clearer understanding of “S2″ and “S3.” When I first started watching this show, I shotgunned 2 and 3 back to back, and have done that once a year since, causing the two seasons to feel like one mega-season in my mind. Not this time!

A lot of the stuff I consider to be “the show” is introduced in S2, sure, but isn’t developed until S3.

Daisy Johnson

Terrigenesis & the Kree (wow my new band name)

Mack and Daisy brotp

FitzSimmons as an actual item

Collecting/protecting Inhumans

Talbot and Creel

The Monolith

Lincoln (gross)

And a lot of the stuff in S2 doesn’t even make it into S3!

Cal :<

Raina :<<<

Afterlife and all those poor fools who just wanted to grow up and get wings or whatever

Edward James Olmos

Agent 33 lol GOOD

Fitz’s brain injury

And of course there’s also big S3 specific stuff that hits you right away in the season opener, like Rosalind and Maveth.

I feel like ultimately I’ll have to say from now on that S3 is my favorite season. More on this as it develops -- only just started ep 2 today.

A note about Lincoln. Since actually he’s going to be way more important in S3 than he was in S2, let’s talk about his introduction. So far, there’s really nothing about the character that warrants my knee-jerk dislike. The character is supposed to be good for Daisy! He’s soft and patient and sort of cool and is one of the first people she’s met who is honestly supportive of her new situation, a situation that he understands from experience.

I guess maybe I don’t like the trope of pairing people up with their primary physician? There’s a conflict of interest there, I think.

Also that dude’s performance rubs me the wrong way (and I only found out like 35 minutes ago that he’s Australian so I’m going to blame it on the fake American accent?).

There’s no narrative symmetry in the structure of S2. I got really excited at first because there’s a ship in ep 3 and I know that the season ends on Edward James Olmos’ ship, but that was about it.

However, they did purposefully split it down the middle, 10 eps and a break for Agent Carter, and then the last 12 eps.

The story of part 1 takes us to Daisy and Raina’s Terrigenesis, and part 2 is about A) Daisy has superpowers now whoops and B) Edward James Olmos is in charge whoops and these two storylines smash together at the end.

But the story of the whole season is trust. Not an exploration of the concept, not “what does it mean to trust” or “how is trust earned” but a literal “man nobody trusts nobody and it’s probably for the best.”

Heck the season straight up tells us we shouldn’t trust anything by opening with with Team Coulson monitoring a black market deal between an ex-SHIELD agent and some mercs -- the mercs are also SHIELD agents and it’s a sting -- the sting team doesn’t know Team Coulson was sent as backup etc etc

Ward swears never to lie to Daisy ever again

Fitz can’t trust his own physical self

Nobody can trust Simmons because she’s undercover at Hydra

Nobody can trust Coulson because he’s whacka-doodle (see what I did there) cray cray

Hunter whining about his she-devil ex-wife, but she’s delightful and perfect

Hunter’s ongoing and ACTUALLY QUITE VALID protestations that he can’t trust Bobbi when it comes to her angle on their relationship

Brainwashing is a thing now

Hydra’s still doing Hydra things and blaming them on SHIELD

Man, anything either of the Ward brothers say at any moment is to be distrusted as a Rule

The heads of Hydra can’t trust each other

Daisy gets powers and she and Fitz decide they can’t trust anybody else with this information because errybody acken’ cray cray

Simmons is SO MAD that Fitz didn’t trust her with this information

Daisy is never quite sure if she can trust her dad (because he cray for sure)

You can’t trust May because half the time she’s Agent 33

You can’t trust Bobbi and Mack because they’re working for Edward James Olmos

Edward James Olmos doesn’t trust Coulson AND doesn’t trust that Fury left SHIELD to Coulson and also I guess just doesn’t trust Fury

Turns out Coulson was doing some secret stuff, too, so better not trust him even if he’s not crazy anymore

Nobody can ever trust Ward, no matter which side you’re on, even if he’s actively helping you at the moment

You can’t trust Raina’s vision until you can

You can’t trust Jiaying after all!! Edward James Olmos wasn’t going to be the bad guy!!!

I think a lot about how this show has such active characters. Like, there aren’t just plots for plots sake or characters for characters sake*, events happen to shape character motivations, and then character motivations go on to shape events. I’m thinking about how Fitz’s condition in the first half is almost complete plot-less -- he’s just a character living through some stuff, and it effects ... his interactions with other characters, mostly. There’s no narrative “point” or payoff to it (other than to remind that Ward Is Bad), until -- until Daisy comes through the mist and

12 episodes of frustrated aphasia, feeling like he’s letting the team down and they’re letting him down, of struggling to cope with Simmons’ abandoning him and then struggling even more with her return ... until ep 12, the only real, uh, utility Fitz’s condition brings to the story is as a means to introduce Mack as 100% Best Guy.

And then ep 12, getting to see these two beloved OG characters have this moment that only the two of them can have

.... as far as moments go, second best only to the Skimmons quake/hug in 4x15. My ship sails, my dudes.

I got way off track here, sorry

Anyway my point is sometimes, in other shows, giving a lead character a brain injury is probably a Major Plot Point that is Meant To Be Resolved (and within 40 minutes if at all possible), but on our perfect show, characters are allowed to Just Be -- and the things that they Are will always manifest in narratively satisfying turns of events.

I’m trying to think of any of my “this time I noticed” items and

Not to be all down on 2/3 of my OT3, but especially after watching their siblings dynamic in S1, and seeing just how painfully awkward their relationship is throughout S2, the Simmons-has-feelings-for-Fitz moment REALLY came out of left field.

S1 gave you the Exact Moment that Fitz realized that his crush was on Simmons instead of Skye, and you saw him live with that information for like 16 episodes.

Knowing that they end up together AND always starting my series rewatch with S2 makes her coming to him at the end not just reasonable but inevitable.

But lol no? They literally never talk about it for the duration of the season? Fitz talks to Mack and Simmons talks to Bobbi, but they never talk to each other. Her change of heart is strictly subtext. Which isn’t the worst, but given their literal text is either antagonistic (see: his reaction to her abandoning him; her reaction to his hiding the truth about Skye) or just ... their regular schtick.

They’re antagonistic until Edward James Olmos comes on the scene, at which point they bond enough to play the I’m-on-to-your-plan doublespeak shenanigan, and the sandwich moment is arguably the best thing to happen to this ship up until that point BUT she made him away mission sandwiches when he was just her friend too so!!!

Ok when they see each other next there is a specific moment mentioning The Sandwich in the context of love that makes sense (unlike whatever it is that Agent 33 and Ward have) -- but it’s very subtle and the scene is really just a set up to Simmons’ plan to splinter-bomb the hell out of Ward as revenge.

Their next scene together is bonafide FitzSkimmons OT3 grilling Sky about her time at Afterlife which, again is vanilla S1 schtick, and it’s immediately hijacked by Ward and Mission Talk anyway.

It goes straight into the mission where their only interaction is Fitz telling Jemma to be careful but not in a way where she can hear.

Next they debrief Mike Peterson after rescuing him, which is just an excuse to see Simmons not own up to her killing Bakshi on accident.

New episode, now they’re just stalking Skye and (rightfully) giving her new boyfriend the stink eye, then they talk to Agent 33 about her brainwashing -- just a moment for Simmons to feel guilty about never admitting to killing Bakshi/setting up the fact that Bobbi saved Simmons and not Agent 33 so that Agent 33 has a revenge plot for the remaining 2.5 episodes of the season

THEIR NEXT SCENE TOGETHER IS ANOTHER OT3 MOMENT WHERE SIMMONS PRESENTS SKYE WITH THE HULA GIRL ORNAMENT FROM SKYE’S VAN AND FITZ RIBS SKYE ABOUT HAVE EARTHQUAKE POWERS -- FITZSIMMONS DON’T EVEN DIRECTLY ADDRESS ONE ANOTHER.

Ok and then Fitz makes up a reason to go talk to Simmons, and opens up to her about how he’d have tried to kill Ward if he’d been a lesser man, only to find out that Simmons DID try to kill Ward and is actively upset that she failed, so they’re still at odds, philosophically at least, at this point.

Then they split up again and aren’t on the same continent until a third of the way into the next episode, where they’re STILL talking about Agent 33.

The only other thing they do on screen together in this episode is to fight Skye’s dad like they’re on Scooby Doo running away from a guy in a monster mask

Season finale, they have two scenes working with Coulson on mission stuff in which they don’t speak directly to one another, and then

As Fitz is gearing up for his mission, Simmons pops up out of nowhere and drops her bombshell on him

ok, no lie, as I started compiling this and getting closer and closer to the end, I figured it out:

everyone was so collectively heartbroken at the prospect of Bobbi not making it that they all had to go talk to their loved ones before it’s too late. May does it, too, and it’s framed with Hunter standing over Bobbi’s hospital bed in the background, and Simmons goes directly from Bobbi’s bedside to Fitz to say “because I just saw Hunter with Bobbi, and it made me realize” --

ok, my bad. I did state up front that I wasn’t always paying attention, okay?!

I take everything back. We do see the moment Simmons realizes she has feelings for Fitz. It just comes at the tail end of a string of episodes where they barely interact, is all.

Man, I gotta pay better attention next time.

Anyway this is not as brief as I thought it would be, nor have I covered all the thoughts I had. Real quick, though:

Agent 33 is the worst. I’m not sure what else they would have given Ward to do (gross double entendre intentional :< ) this season, though. But did it have to be this? Did you notice that when she picked faces, it was either May or Daisy? And then used them on Ward, someone who sexually and/or emotionally manipulated both these women in the previous season? Gross gross gross. And obviously the grossness of this pairing is literally called out by several in-world observers, but, still. I’m not sure that they actually wanted me to believe that there was still some humanity in Ward, that there was still a person who could settle down and buy succulents to put on windowsills in houses he shared domestically with another human being, but mostly I’m wondering why they thought they wanted to want me to believe that.

*as stated previously, one of the weaker parts of S2, that I still find weak having rewatched S2, is the use of the character of Trip. POOR GUY. Watching S1 first doesn’t do him any favors, either. At least when you forget exactly the contents of S1, his being in S2 just feels like “guess this is how things always were, oh wait, sucks he's dead now.” BUT NO things were NEVER like this. We don’t know who this guy is at all!!

His purpose in S1 is to be Not!Ward,

and his utility is to have some sort of internal logic to the team getting their hands on the low-tech WWII spy gadgets.

and he’s a very slight catalyst to Fitz’s needing to get his act together and get Simmons off the market before it’s too late (which is a couple of different yikes in my book, as far as "here’s what this character’s here for”)

So I kept my eye on him in S2 and the results were not good. I think the only time he had lines was to ask questions to allow another character to respond with exposition, or to make jokes that any character could have been on screen to make.

I want to say he was a side character dressed as a lead character, but HELL he shared scenes with a Koenig and those fools got WAY more character building/backstory/motivation over the course of the series than what Trip got.

Dearest Trip, our very own Red Shirt. Rest In Pieces

#Agents of Shield #a long and winding rant #about nothing in particular

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Gender and Sexuality Portfolio Post Two: Connection to Foundational Course Concepts

Understanding an individual through a psychological lens allows researchers to deepen their studies of human cognition, emotion, and behavior. Similarly, observing and recording categorization of a specific identity is essential when examining persons as an entire group through a sociological and anthropological lens. These social sciences are flexible in the manner in which they tend to incorporate one’s identity, which includes those of a gender and sexuality scope. As we define our identities and place ourselves in society, we rediscover the true meaning behind human nature and societal expectations. Creating and enacting an identity is very complicated. There are five fundamental ideas that help us create and defy boundaries preset by society: the social construction of gender, agency, privilege, oppression, and intersectionality. To simple understand human identity, and more specifically in this paper, black feminism and womanism, is to better conceptualize these terms and relate them to one’s lived/living experience.

In relation to black feminism, we see this huge social construction of gender, that is, we see categorization of a label implemented and upheld by society (Foss, Domenico, & Foss, 2013). It can also be seen as the creation and enactment of gender. Before “doing” gender, one must define it. Society constructs what gender is, what it looks like, how people should act accordingly, and what the consequences are if one does not choose to do so. In Patricia Hill Collins’ article on black feminism and social construction (1989), we see the construction of what it means to be a White man, or rather a “Eurocentric masculinist”, opposed to being a Black woman, specifically an “Afrocentric feminist”, in America. She says that this Eurocentric masculinity can completely invalidate black feminist thought by the knowledge-validation process (p. 752). This means that because White men are considered the prestigious group of experts in society, they control the knowledge, or the narrative, distributed to others. Secondly, they remain credible for the sake of power over that knowledge. That being said, White men have control over this knowledge-validation process, which can be used to further suppress Black feminist thought by invalidating their curriculum and experience. This ideology is toxic but very realistic. Contrarily, she says that Black feminists take back this knowledge, and give out their own narrative, through shared histories, family structures, and patriarchal oppression. In other words, we take back our power by reinforcing our experiences and opposing the silence rendered onto us by Eurocentric masculinists. To connect this back to my initial paper, Black girls are opposite of the mythical norm, and therefore find power and resilience through this social construction of gender.

With social construction of any median comes agency. Agency can be defined as choice, or truly believing that one has the ability to make a change on any social, economic, political, etc. issue (Foss, Domenico, & Foss, 2013). Black feminism approaches agency in the simple fact that it is not just defined as feminism alone. It takes on a second identity (which will be addressed in depth later). Black women recognized that their needs were not being met by the original feminist movement, so they decided to create an identity that would; they took the initiative to implement change for the betterment of themselves. “Black women have always been doing the work, creating their own political and social movements that don’t depend on traditional feminism at all” (The Root, 2018). This out-group marginalization caused Black women to create and endorse their own movement for justice. The video quotes Layli Phillips from The Womanist Reader, stating that, “unlike feminism, and despite its name, womanism does not emphasize or privilege gender or sexism: rather it elevates all sites and forms of oppression…to a level of equal concern and action” (The Root, 2018). Again, black feminism and womanism are movements that began with a choice of acting outside of the norm, or in this case (white) feminism. Black feminists essentially became agents of their own cause.

Generally, there is a certain privilege that Black women have, although at times it may seem nonexistent. Privilege is the advantage or power that one from a prestigious group has over those who are stigmatized and outcasted (Launius & Hassel, 2015). This privilege may be intentional or unintentional and can easily be (un)seen in the matrix of social rule. Brittney Cooper, author of Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers her Superpower, explains how Beyoncé is an extremely influential and powerful figure and uses her platform, or her privilege, to express her ideation of Black feminism. The author says:

In 2016, we got Lemonade. It became really clear why somebody like Beyoncé would want to have this sort of arsenal that you get from Black feminism because Black feminism helps you think about what happens when you’re the most powerful chick in the game, you’re married to one of the most powerful dudes, and he still won’t treat you right because he is intimidated by your power…Black feminism can hold that Black girls have hurts and pains that no one else has ever listened to (The Root, 2018).

Beyoncé released one of the most influential albums of 2016 expressing her right to feminism and has recently embraced Black culture and feminism simultaneously. Through privilege of her concerts, Superbowl performances, and triple platinum selling albums, Beyoncé continuously spreads her #BlackGirlMagic by giving voice to the international injustices that all women of color face.

Just as a coin has two side, there is a counterpart to privilege, and that is oppression. Oppression is prejudice and discrimination expressed towards the marginalized or “disadvantaged” group (Launius & Hassel, 2015). It should be noted that there are oppressed people within an out-group (i.e. Black women in the original feminist movement and trans-people in the #BlackLivesMatter movement). Oppression is intentional limitation placed upon all that one can do. As a Black feminist, Maya Rupert expresses why she was always anti-princess until she got a closer look of what the role of a princess really means. The initial thought is that princesses are damsels in distress and are often caught in love triangles: cliché cliché. However, as Rupert closely examined the position of a princess, she discovered that Black girls were not fit for the “typical” criteria.

She explains that White women suit stereotypes of weakness and helplessness which inevitably aligns them with the princess role, while Black women are stereotyped as naturally strong, animalistic, and their beauty has never been acknowledged nor celebrated in Western culture (Rupert, 2018). She goes on to say that, “…it hadn’t happened to me. I didn’t grow up feeling locked into the princess role, but rather locked out…Princess culture — the celebration of a fairy tale version of femininity and romance — damages girls because it offers a limited vision of the roles girls can play, but also because it offers a limited vision of which girls can play those roles” (Rupert, 2018). The author has not experienced the oppression of being the princess, rather she has experienced the limitation, or oppression, of automatically being ruled out of the role because her identity does not fit societal standards. However, there is a brightside to this nuance. Oppression in the media has changed just in the past few years. We now see Black princess: Princess Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, Princess Shuri from The Black Panther, and a real-life princess, Meghan Markle, newly crowned as the Duchess of Sussex. This ideology is a double-edged sword but, overall, gives empowerment to Black feminist even in a state of oppression.

As mentioned earlier, Black feminism embodies a double identity. Generally, the identity itself represents intersectionality. It is a double stigmatization for the simple fact that one who identifies as such is Black and a woman. Launius and Hassel describe intersectionality as a multi- facet construction of an individual’s experience, meaning that we see an overlap in one’s identity: from race/ethnicity, to age, to gender, to sexual orientation, to socioeconomic status, and so on and so forth (2015). In an article written by Holland Cotter (2017), we see the intersectionality in being a Black female artist. In 1965, a board of artists from New York, called Spiral, worked together to produce propaganda for the Black Power movement. Out of 15 African American members, only one was a woman. Black women got so tired of being overshadowed and brushed off, that they branched out and started their own artistic movement called Where We At which essentially was the foundation and development of what Black feminism is today (Cotter, 2017). Defining themselves in the duality of their identity gave them space to voice their needs and requirements of the Black community as a whole. Through this concept, we see how Black women used their agency to overcome oppression. Additionally, we can make the connection that these Black feminists used Goffman’s approach of minstrelization to play into their privilege (Coston & Kimmel, 2012).

Society tends to forget the complex yet simple organization of being a Black feminist. The identity itself is not easy; to experience everyday with (un)intentional jabs at your identity is not easy. But our requests of society are simple; we simply desire having our voices heard and lifted in the name of justice, and to hold others accountable for our suffering. That is all. That is Black feminism. To be defined and socially constructed by society, to embody the intersectionality of gender and race, to be both privileged and oppressed, and to be an agent in which to embrace more is to understand Black feminism on a micro- and macro-level.

References

Alexander-Floyd, N. G. (2012). Disappearing Acts: Reclaiming Intersectionality in the Social

Sciences in a Post-Black Feminist Era. Feminist Formations, 24(1), 1-25.

Cohen, C. J., & Jackson, S. J. (2016). Ask a Feminist: A Conversation with Cathy J. Cohen on Black

Lives Matter, Feminism, and Contemporary Activism. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture & Society, 41(4), 775-792.

Collins, P. H. (1989). The Social Construction of Black Feminist Thought. Signs: Journal of

Women in Culture & Society, 14(4), 745-773.

Coston, B. M., & Kimmel, M. (2012). Seeing Privilege Where It Isn’t: Marginalized Masculinities

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York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/20/arts/design/review-we-wanted-a-revolution-black-radical-women-brooklyn-museum.html

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and Love in Newark, New Jersey. Feminist Formations, 26(3), 1-28.

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Sexual Minority Women of Color: The Moderating Role of Womanism. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 37(2), 167-178.

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Jones, L. V. (2015). Black Feminisms: Renewing Sacred Healing Spaces. Affilia: Journal of Women

& Social Work, 30(2), 246-252.

Launius, C. & Hassel, H., (2015). Threshold Concepts in Women’s and Gender Studies: Ways of

Seeing, Thinking, and Knowing. New York, NY: Taylor & Francis.

Morton, B. (2016). ‘You can’t see for lookin’’: how southern womanism informs perspectives of

work and curriculum theory. Gender & Education, 28(6), 742-755.

Nyachae, T. M. (2016). Complicated contradictions amid Black feminism and millennial Black

women teachers creating curriculum for Black girls. Gender & Education, 28(6), 786-806.

The Root. (2018, April 12). Breaking down Black feminism [Video file]. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5Sl_Fu47js

The Root. (2018, March 6). Why feminism fails Black women [Video file]. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9KMtf_e_ew

Rupert, M. (2018, May 12). How a Black feminist became a fan of princesses. The New York

Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/12/opinion/sunday/royal-wedding-princess-race.html

Shaw, J. B. (2015). I don't wanna time travel no mo": Race, Gender, and the Politics of

Replacement in Erykah Badu's "Window Seat. Feminist Formations, 27(2), 46-69.

Smith-Jones, S. E., Glenn, C. L., & Scott, K. D. (2017). Transgressive shades of feminism: A Black

feminist perspective of First Lady Michelle Obama. Women & Language, 40(1), 7-14.

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