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yuri-is-online · 3 months

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Could you share some of your ideas on improving the Twilight series?

There are a few ways that we can fix Twilight, but for now let's just focus on keeping its original premise: Bella moves to Forks, meets Edward, and is swept up into a word of supernatural happenings. I'm going to go through my issues one by one and then get to some overall points, this got stupidly long for no good reason I am so sorry.

I will note that I had to google some information about what happens in the first and fourth books because I did not watch those movies and I think I might have read the first book? But don't remember anything that happened in it.

Bella's Personality

Or lack of one is getting changed immediately. Stories are driven by the actions and desires of their characters and Bella is our MC. We need her to have reasons for making the choices she does beyond "she has to do this for the plot to progress."

Bella moves to Forks because she notices that her mother seems unhappy staying at home with her and not on the road with her new husband. From this we can assign Bella as being self-sacrificing, maybe to the point of self-sabotaging. She also is very self-reliant; she doesn't think she needs help from other people, especially not those who have a degree of authority over her because she assumes their help comes from them assuming she cannot take care of herself (and maaaaybe think that she's a burden) and not from a place of love.

When Jacob expresses a dislike of Sam, Bella supports him and validates his feelings. She is extremely upset and confused when he has suddenly changed his tune later and goes to confront Sam about it. In the movie this comes off as manipulative, as it seems like Bella is only really upset that Jacob isn't 100% focused on her anymore. I hate this! It makes the story much better if Bella goes to confront Sam because she is protective of her loved ones. Edward says he is afraid of not being able to protect her several times and she always responds with "then I'll protect you!" She should mean that! Let her be the over protective friend who will throw hands!!!

The one thing I do remember about the first book is an off hand remark about how "special and not like other girls" Bella was because she had already read Jane Austen for fun and that made her only able to relate to old people (something I had just gotten done doing which was probably why I stopped reading the book because middle school Yuri felt very insecure) and she also seems to like Shakespeare. But the books never seem to do anything with that, and it was pretty much the law in the early 2000s that your YA heroine needed to be into classic lit so it is a sort of basic trait. But it is still a trait, so Bella likes classic lit.

One of the things people unironically like about Twilight is how Stephanie Myer portrayed depression. Bella seems to be struggling from some pretty severe issues with her self-esteem and self-worth. She wants to be a vampire because she thinks it will fix her issues with herself; she's afraid of growing old and not being desirable to her partner which is sadly a very common fear people have so it makes her relatable which is good for the protag of a novel... but

If you are going to cover topics like self-loathing and depression we need to have a think about how to handle those topics responsibly which I don't think the og Twilight series does... for now let's just keep in mind that depression and self esteem are themes we should keep for Bella's personal character arc.

The Parents

Bella refers to both of her parents by their first names, unless she's talking to them. As someone who does this with her mother... that's not really something you do overnight or if you have an actual relationship with your parent. You can actually physically feel the gap between you, and it kind of sucks sometimes. It also explains a lot of those character traits listed above

Bella's mom sucks ass and I was surprised to find that's not as controversial of an opinion as I thought it would be. She is more invested in her relationship with her new husband than she is her daughter, Bella apparently was the primary cook, Bella keeps secrets from her mom because her mom's mental and emotional well being is extremely reliant on her, and to top it all off apparently she told Bella a bunch of intimate details about how she left her dad which IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO OH MY GOD. It isn't healthy for a kid to know the intimate details about the break down of their parent's marriage!!! Especially if it was messy!!! That's so damaging for a kid, it's a form of parentification where the child is forced to emotionally parent the person who is supposed to be doing the actual parenting. Charlie is a character no one seems to have any major complaints about, and that includes me: I think keeping him more or less the same works. He deeply loves his daughter and wants to have that personal relationship with her he never got to have while she was primarily living with her mother. His reactions to the things that happen in the series are completely normal and he shows the appropriate level of concern when Bella enters her depressive state after Edward breaks up with her.

The main thing I would change about how the parents are portrayed has to do with the break up between Edward and Bella in book 2. I think it was mentioned that Bella did not want to go to therapy... but given the circumstances: major depressive episode, night terrors, potentially abusive relationship, all after a major life change (the move to Forks) it would make sense to me for Bella and Charlie to go to a family therapist together before Bella goes to individual sessions. The breakdown of her parent's marriage, her mom's parentification of her, and her lack of real relationship with either parent is something I would want to see addressed and it's realistic for family therapy to be suggested with all those factors I mentioned. Bella doesn't need to have a fully mended relationship with her dad by the end of the series, but it would make the story a lot better if by connecting with him through family therapy she decides to trust him enough to tell him about Edward being a vampire and Jacob being a werewolf.

The Cullens

I have watched one episode of Vampire Diaries, so the concept of a why a bunch of vampire's would want to go back to highschool isn't too much of a concern for me. Using it as a way to re-learn what society is like makes sense… but that needs to be the stated reason and not vaguely implied. It also makes more sense to me if Rosalie and Emmet don't attend the highschool and instead pretend to be college students who live with Emmet's parents. Japser, Alice, and Edward are enough to work with, adding more characters to do nothing with doesn't actually help the flow of the story. And oh god does a lot of nothing happen in the actual series.

The overall concept for their characters doesn't bother me too too much. They're vampires who abstain from human blood and are empowered by not succumbing to their thirst, that's a pretty basic plot line and more importantly it gives us a conflict to work with. Everyone thinks the sparkles are dumb, so instead let's just go with the Dracula thing where they can't use their powers during the day. Since the Cullens are supposed to be stronger due to their lack of preying on humans, maybe they can use their powers but not as effectively? Alice still gets visions for example, but Edward has trouble telling whose thoughts are whose, Jasper can't always get a frim grip on people's emotions, Emmet isn't as strong, and Rosalie sort of just looks tired as opposed to beautiful.

The Volturi

They are the oldest vampire coven and potentially the largest. Again don't have much of a problem with this or wouldn't rather if they had some fucking character. I had to google Aro's name. He's one of their leaders and the only one who I felt was actually acting in the whole movie and I had to google his goddamn name. Also I am only going to mention this once and I am only going to talk about it here but:

Stephanie Myer is a Mormon and as a result her world building is very Mormon. Did you know Aro has a wife? I didn't, but pretty much every major character in the series is married and lives with their "children" and their children's spouses. Which is a fine way to live if you aren't weird about it but I don't trust these people aren't.

Anyway all of this section is to stay that they Volturi can more or less stay the same as they are already, but the rules they've established for vampire kind need to be introduced to the reader (and their existence) almost immediately instead of in book 2.

The Werewolves

The biggest thing I would change about the werewolves is the bit about them being "awakened" by the presence of vampires. I think it makes more sense if the wolves just awaken when they feel a strong need to protect their family period, the presence of vampires just makes the process speed up a whole lot because of the tribe's history. I also think it makes sense for the Pack to be viewed as sort of protectors of the land and the people from supernatural threats by humans who are aware, and for this to be sort of emphasized with Charlie's relationship with Jacob's dad and grandfather.

I mentioned that I would have Bella and Charlie connect after going to family therapy, but now that I think about it, I would also have Charlie know about the werewolf pack before Bella tells him. He leaves the supernatural policing to them and focuses on the human crimes, that way he's able to focus his resources and protect his people better. Maybe he comes to Bella first and admits he's been lying to her and lays out what he knows and that's what gets her to open up about Edward being a vampire.

Misc.

From what I have managed to piece together, the main "plot" of twilight is that Bella and Edward meet, they stare into each other's eyes a whole bunch and realize one has good smelling blood and the other is a vampire. Edward introduces Bella to his coven and some other vampires show up??? And want to eat Bella??? And then they run away and oh no. The evil vampires have found them again and try to eat Bella and then Edward kills him but leaves his wife alive so the rest of the books are just a girlboss trying to get revenge on Edward by killing his partner. Until the last book when the Volturi show up angry because Bella isn't a vampire yet and has given birth to a half vampire and while I am on that last point: no half vampire baby, we are throwing out that whole ass plot point. I think people sometimes go overboard in assuming Mormon creators make everything about their fiction Mormon but there is nothing more fundamentalist than immediately getting married and having kids at 18. It doesn't need to happen, we can just re-write that whole book. Ok? Ok.

This is probably where most of the variations in how to fix the series come in tbh. Is it just a romance series? Do you want supernatural adventures? What are the stakes? Do we address the abusive undertones to Bella and Edward's relationship and make it a plot point or do we try to fix Edward? The original series doesn't have much going on in it... except for one thing which I want to bring up now. If you like the idea of Twilight (vampire romance set in a small town where supernatural stuff happens) I would highly recommend playing the Wayhaven Chronicles by Misha Jenkins. Because she also has a protagonist with special blood that is enticing to vampires and blocks their powers… but in her interactive fiction series she explains it as being a natural mutation humans have evolved to protect themselves from supernaturals. Their blood also empowers all supernaturals, not just vampires. Both of these ideas are ones I like, but since the only creatures we are working with in Twilight are Vamps and Werewolves, let's keep Bella's blood to only effecting vampires.

For my part, the more I have thought about Edward's character, he doesn't seem like he's mature enough to be in a relationship. He clearly has some unaddressed traumas about his vampirism that are getting in the way of him making friends let alone a girlfriend, so for my "fixed" series he isn't Bella's endgame.

Anyway here are some more specific bullet points idk:

Book 1

James the tracker gets introduced before the actual vampire reveal happens. He tracks and attacks Bella, Edward protects her, and they start hanging out more based off of a mutual attraction fueled by Bella's desire to be needed and Edward's desire to preserve what he perceives to be as a pure human soul.

Alice becomes Bella's first real good friend and encourages her to explore things that interest her. Bella starts taking care of her appearance a bit more, not in a "oh good she wears make up now" way but in a way where she buys clothes because she likes them and not because her mom would approve of them and remembers to brush her hair.

Jacob is introduced and Bella thinks of him as friend, it's clear she sees him as still a kid and doesn't take him seriously. This bothers him, but we don't find out why in this book.

Edward tells Bella that James isn't something she should worry about any more, but that is a lie. He has been attempting to protect Bella on his own, with some help from Emmet and Rosalie on occasion, but he feels a personal responsibility to keep James away from Alice and Bella. (Alice apparently was turned by James or something? Anyway this should be a bonding point for Alice and Bella)

He still breaks in to watch her sleep and all that shit and Bella rationalizes this, even claiming to be flattered as all she's ever really wanted is to be cared about and this feels like someone cares.

But then she gets a call from James threatening her mother and because Bella sees herself as her mom's protector she runs straight into that trap.

Blah blah blah Edward has to drain poison from Bella, they officially start dating.

Book 2

Bella's birthday. She doesn't like being the center of attention or birthdays in general and no one really seems to get this. Her dad asks if she wants a cake or something and promises not to buy candles, and since Bella likes cake she agrees if he promises not to sing.

Her friends at school wish her happy birthday except for Jacob who gives her his present "just because." It's clear to Edward that Jacob is someone she cares about and this makes him jealous because he cannot stand seeing her interact happily with someone else.

Alice has planned a birthday party for Bella and is extremely excited to officially introduce her to the rest of the family, even though she has already met them, since she knows how much Edward likes Bella and she's rooting for him.

Blah blah blah, cut happens, Jasper freaks, Carslie talks a bit with Bella, and then oof

Edward dumps Bella in the middle of the woods the next day and she doesn't take it well. Speaking of which this pissed me off so fucking much "oh uwu I can't be with u because I am worried about how fragile u are and I'll huuuurt you" *proceeds to break up with her in the middle of the fucking woods where she can easily get lost and die*

Depressive episode like normal

Bella realizes she can still see Edward if she is about to do something dangerous and still goes to find those motorbikes and take them to Jacob.

Bella's human friends don't really get as much of a focus even though they are there, so I'd like to bring them back here for a moment. Maybe the pink one encourages Bella to go see a therapist after Bella brushes off her dad's suggestion because she's been thinking about the risk seeking behavior and is worried she encouraged it. She also admits to seeing a therapist herself and this surprises Bella, who decides maybe it couldn't really hurt.

As Bella talks with Jacob she says something about him being a kid and he gets offended by this, heavily hinting at maybe him liking her

But, as opposed to Edward who always brushed off Bella's offer of protection, when talking about Sam Jacob reacts positively to Bella's offer of help and makes the same promise. "You watch my back I'll watch yours."

Cliff diving scene stays but like it's not done on a whim, Bella gets a group together of kids from the highschool maybe? No weird movie date scene because that was cringe.

Anyway Edward thinks she dies, Alice comes for a visit, werewolf Jake freaks but trusts Bella when she says she will be fine and says he trusts her.

The book ends with Bella bargaining for the Cullen's freedom from the Volturi by agreeing to become a vampire, initially she offers to allow Aro or whatever the fuck to turn her but Alice intervenes and offers to do it herself. They set a date for after her graduation, and are warned of grave consequences if they do not comply.

Edward and Bella do not get back together at the end of the book.

Book 3

Bella and Alice are back to being besties. While Bella is not back together with Edward, but she is not dating Jacob either. She is attempting to maintain a friendship with both but it's not really working, as Jacob can tell she's keeping some sort of secret from him.

This secret being her impending turning, and the general theme of people trying to convince her that she doesn't need to do this remains.

There is a real focus on the lack of choice most of the Cullens had with becoming vampires and how that has affected them, with a heavy emphasis placed on Edward.

Edward and Carlisle have a long talk. Carlisle talks about the concept of soulmates and how he always hoped Edward would find his, but admits he maybe placed too much of an emphasis on that instead of actually addressing the problems he was having in the hopes that love would fix him.

Since this is my post, I think Aro should be a sort of character foil to Edward. Ed doesn't want Bella to become a vampire even though she would (allegedly) make a very powerful one, while Aro should be obsessed with making Bella into a vampire because of her blood. I would also make it so that Aro's "wife" was once like Bella, with the same good smelling blood, and directly contrast Aro's sense of ownership over her with how Edward had been thinking about Bella.

This terrifies Edward who also has a deep talk with Bella and apologizes, and while Bella accepts it they still don't get back together because-

Bella always had more chemistry with Jacob anyway. They share interests and hobbies, they like talking with each other, Jake is someone she is good friends with and someone she really is going to miss when she dies and becomes a vampire.

Idc let the plot with the newborn army remain, but like make the talk about imprinting actually mean something. Maybe Jacob has already imprinted on Bella but he's keeping that shit to himself because he doesn't want to pressure her.

Maybe it all comes out while he's wounded and Bella finally tells him about what she has agreed to do.

And then the book ends with them both agreeing they don't want that to happen

There's a book 4?

So I have no idea what goes on in the end of the Twilight series.

There's a war?

But not actually because it was just a vision Alice had?

Um I think there is potential for some sort of actual battle between the Volturi, other vampire covens, and the werewolves.

Apparently according to the wiki Aro's wife is locked in a tower somewhere in a trance because he killed her sister? And she was upset about that?

Uhhhh maybe they decide to use that to spark some in fighting between the Volturi

Jacob and Bella can get married at the sensible age of like 25 in the epilogue

And Edward gets with someone else idk. Maybe one of the newborns from Vicky's army who he goes on a healing journey with.

meh that's what I've got. I still like the idea of Bella being into catching beetles and moths and that's why she's ok with being in the woods a whole lot but that's not super important.

I think it should sort of low key freak both Edward and Jacob out. But that's just my opinion~

#<3 asks #talking shop #twilight saga #i guess #anyway sorry this is what i choose to grace you all with #i'm dealing with some heart issues atm so i'm in and out of drs appointments #if you have to go to the er i would recommend against going alone #i am more or less ok to be clear!#just stressed and taking some new meds #and trying to slowly ease myself back into writing so i don't stress myself out more

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