#you dont even need to be right just throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luobingmeis · 3 years

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I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne?

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place?

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

#this is why i cant talk abt undertale past 9pm #bc then my brain just goes brrrr as i write bullshit for 40 minutes #answered #ember360

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forevercaroline · 4 years

Text

The nine lives of Caroline Forbes chapter 1

For @austennerdita2533, @caritobear, @misssophiachase, @babeyouareenough, @joceysstuff

Xxx

“Come on Rebekah hurry up.”

“You try running in heels.”

Klaus and his younger sister Rebekah and younger brother Kol are running into the tall and open coit tower but these three are not here to see the panoramic views of the city and bay. They followed the man dressed in black and has scars on his face who is sent to kill their kind but at the moment he is after Caroline Forbes who doesn’t know who she is or how to protect herself.

“No please.” The man with scars has cornered Caroline to the edge of the tower she looks down at the ground the people look like ants they are so high up.

The trio hear her cries and Rebekah reaches down and takes her heels off and catches up to her brothers. They are to late they get to the top of the tower as Caroline is pushed off. The man with the scars watches as Caroline’s body hits the pavement.

Klaus reaches out and takes his siblings hands and they turn around quickly and quietly.

The bald guy with scars turns around and watches as the two blondes and brunette siblings are running down the stairs he gets an evil grin on his lips and he chases them down the stairs.

As they get down to the ground. Klaus being older pulls his siblings behind him Rebekah is putting her heels back on behind him and Kol is in front of his sister. Klaus address the man that just killed Caroline. “You would really kill us here out in the open. Knowing who and what we are?”

As the older man with scars saunters towards them drawing a knife pointing it at them. “One way or another you will die if not from my hands it will be from someone’s. The order has declared it.”

Xxx

That morning:

Blonde perky Caroline Forbes wakes up excited for the day to begin today is her sixteenth birthday. All she wants is a convertible bug doesn’t matter what color anything except green or orange.

Her bedroom is as bright and perky as she is and everyone has a dark side too all of that is reflected in her room. With tea dye walls the back wall behind her bed is a black piece of wood with white mandalas over it. As she is getting out of bed with a baby blue padded headboard with her pink striped comfortable and pink and black pillows. She puts on some music and dances as she picks out of her clothes for the day. The sun is shining through the windows of her little nook she has a window seat of red cushions, she has a chair, a footstool and a beanbag in the nook seating area. With her desk one one side and her mirror on the other.

While in her en-suite bathroom taking a shower her mind wonders to the color of car she wants a convertible bug maybe red, or pink, yellow could be cool but maybe blinding they do live in San Francisco, baby blue or regular blue could be pretty.

When she finishes her shower she puts on a pair of denim capris, pink spaghetti strapped tiered cami and a navy textured jacket if she gets cold she also has on black wedges and a silver heart necklace.

She goes down to the kitchen which her mom gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Good morning sweetie.” She hands her a bag which when she unwraps it, its a bag of Reese’s, a new black sweater and two new necklaces one is a gold tear drop with gold balls along the inside surrounding a crescent moon and the other is a tube necklace with three lines hanging down but connected to the other side of the necklace.

Caroline hugs her mom. “Thank you I love them.”

“Your welcome there is one more gift but you can’t see it until tonight.”

She nods and as she is picking up a banana. “Did dad send anything?”

“I’m sorry honey he didn’t we don’t even know where he is its likely he forgot.”

After swallowing some of the banana she looks up at her mom and puts on a fake smile. “It’s ok, I know that he left years ago but I just thought that he would send me at least a card on my birthday its not everyday your adoptive daughter turns sixteen.”

Liz pulls her daughter into another hug, even though she is not the biological parent of Caroline she loves Caroline no different.

Xxx

Before school starts Caroline and her two best friends brunettes Davina Claire and her cousin Enzo Claire are talking by one of the stairwells. “I keep having this strange feeling to visit coit tower I don’t know why. I’m going to try to ignore it.” Caroline rubs the side of her temple ever since, Davina and Enzo picked her up in Enzo’ black Jeep everything has been incredible loud every little noise is amplified she swears she could hear he inner workings of the Jeep it’s giving her a headache.

Enzo’s parents died when he was five and a half, and he was sent from Southampton England to San Francisco to live with his cousin so he has a British accent. “Don’t look now cuz London is coming.”

Davina peaks over her shoulder and bites her lip and just like that Kol and Klaus Mikaelson a devilish duo on a good day are coming down the hallway. Kol has a basketball he is bouncing off the walls and catching it. Klaus and Kol stop in front of the staircase and Kol hands his ball to Klaus so he can flirt with Davina, while Klaus is waiting for them to finish he throws the ball above Caroline’s head and catches it so he throws it again above Caroline’s head who is not thrilled and just waiting for the ball to hit her in the head she reaches up and grabs the ball.

Both Caroline and Klaus walk towards each other with different ideas in mind, Klaus wants the ball back and Caroline wants to give him a piece of her mind. “Listen just because your attractive and British and have dimples and look really good in a Henley.”

Enzo pinches her to stay on topic. “Right doesn’t mean you can throw a ball above my head and I’ll be totally fine with it.”

With one hand Caroline throws the basketball down the crowded hallway and it swooshes into a garbage can near the exit of the school. Students in the hallway are amazed and mummer did you see that, Klaus is speechless and looking down at Caroline but Klaus is not the only one speechless so is Caroline and that whole group.

It’s Enzo’s voice that breaks the silence. “How did you do that?”

Caroline swallows and still shocked. “I don’t know lets go.”

Her and Enzo grab Davina’s wrist and drag her off she yells back to Kol “Talk to you later.”

As Caroline is rushing down the opposite hallway she threw the ball in with Enzo and Davina right behind her Klaus and Kol share a look and watch them flee with amazement.

Xxx

Caroline comes out of science and has to go down the stairs to history when Klaus who is coming up the stairs stops her by putting his arm on the wall and backs her up until her back is against the wall. “ That was impressive earlier. You’ll have to show me your moves.”

Caroline nervous she knows his sister Rebekah better they are friends since the Mikaelsons moved here three years ago she can count on one hand the number of conversations she and Klaus have had one when Rebekah introduced Caroline to her brothers Kol and Klaus she said hi he said hello that was it. “ Moves I dont have any moves. That earlier was a freak of nature.”

“I wasn’t talking about basketball.”

Caroline raises an eyebrow. “Subtle.”

Klaus puts a hand on her waist. “Oh I’m not trying to be.”

Caroline has never been this close to Klaus it’s like she can hear his heart beating. She always thought he was Rebekah’s jerky older brother. “ Why are you talking me?”

He leans in and smells her neck. “You smell nice.”

Caroline now a little uncomfortable but when he smelt her his heartbeat jumped. “ Ok its called taking a shower and perfume.”

If it was even possible Klaus gets even closer to her. “Why are you giving me such a hard time Caroline Forbes.”

“We’ve never had a conversation.”

“Looks like we’ll have to change that. I feel like we are going to be great friends.”

Klaus leans down to give Caroline a kiss as his lips hover over hers they both hear. “Klaus!”

They both look at the stairs going upstairs and Rebekah is coming down. With Klaus distracted Caroline makes her escape as she is going around Klaus she smiles at Rebekah. “Hey beks.”

Rebekah smiles at her.

Xxx

Klaus, Rebekah and Kol are sitting in the library and Rebekah hits Klaus in the arm. “Really klaus.”

“We need to know there is only one explanation for the basketball trick this morning.”

“And if she wasn’t she would be dead. And you would be prime suspect number one.”

Kol chimes in with “The basketball stunt is all over school everyone is talking about it.”

“If Rebekah would of not interrupted my test we would know.”

“She’s my friend plus Nik you were coming off creepy. Seriously smelling her neck we don’t have a specific smell making us different then everyone else.”

Klaus rolls his eyes. “I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas.”

Kol asks. “You’ve been friends with her for three years and you’ve never noticed anything.”

Rebekah side eyes her older brothers. “Its not like we are doing ritual sacrifices and I can see if she heals quickly or lazer tag to see if she has night vision, we’re not doing cheerleading or gymnastics to see if she can jump high. Am I supposed to pretend to want to paint her nails and see if claws extend.”

“We need to find out before they find her that is if she is one of us.”

Xxx

Caroline works at a clothing store/bookstore with a cafe. She doesn’t understand the merge of the two but the clothing store goes into the little cafe off the bookstore. There’s no middle wall between the two. While at the counter of the clothing store a brunette teenager comes to her. “ I’m new to this town, do you know cool spots to check out?”

Caroline turns around and comes face to face with the new student at her school Stefan salvatore she had heard there was a new student. “There is a nice cafe over there. It’s California so people like to hang outside.”

Since it’s a slow day at the shop Caroline and Stefan sit in cafe and talk. “How do you like San Francisco so far?”

“Its nice my dad moves us around a lot. Its just the three of us my dad my older brother and me my mom died years ago.”

“I’m sorry, my dad left years ago its like he’s dead we never hear from him.”

As Stefan is leaving Caroline watches him leave he’s cute.

Xxx

All day Caroline has had this lingering feeling to visit coil tower, she doesn’t know why she visited this place when she was younger before her dad left. As she is walking up the stairs to the building she notices a man in all black and has scars on his face. Three claw marks down the right side of his cheek and neck. The man is watching her go into the tower. As she is looking around at the base of the tower she notices the guy is following her. She figures she’ll lose him going up to the tower since there are thirteen levels of stairs.

Xxx

Present:

Rebekah and Kol had snuck away to find Caroline’s body which people have started to surround around. As Kol and Rebekah are trying to get through Kol announces. “Nothing to see here folks just a prank.”

They hear a women say. “A prank I saw her fall from the tower.”

As Kol is lifting Caroline up Rebekah goes over to the women. “Are you sure your feeling ok your saying a lot of crazy stuff.”

Xxx

Klaus opens the door to the penthouse as Kol brings Caroline in, Rebekah rushes over to the couch to make room for Caroline’s body. Their older brother Finn who is on the phone with his wife Sage while looking out the window sees their reflections in the window and pulls the phone away from his ear. “Did you get to her before they did?”

“No but we did bring her here. When she wakes we will explain everything.”

Finn turns around to see Caroline’s lifeless body laying on the couch. “And how do you know this girl is one of us?”

Kol looks up at him. “She one handed tossed my basketball down a crowded hallway and made a perfect basket in a garage can.”

Finn puts the phone back to his ear to tell Sage he loves her and he’ll call her back. “How long has she been like this?”

All three of his younger siblings look at each other. “An hour.”

“The first death and the loss of innocence is always the longest to come back from.”

Xxx

As Kol’s popcorn is finishing in the microwave Caroline’s eyes open and she looks around at the dark penthouse she is in. Moonlight shining in from a wall of windows, she’s laying on a black couch and there two black chairs on each side of the couch. The last thing she remembers is being at coil tower and that creepy guy following her.

Rebekah is in her bedroom and Klaus is in his studio, Kol went to go make popcorn and Finn was in charge of watching Caroline’s body to see if it did something. While waiting Finn called Sage back he wasn’t paying attention to the couch and the now awake blonde.

Caroline looks around and sees Kol in the kitchen pouring popcorn into a bowl and a man she does not know talking on the phone she gets up and is a little lightheaded really confused on how she got here and her headache is still hurting. As she is going towards the elevator Kol comes out of the kitchen and puts an arm around her waist and picks her up.

“You can’t leave yet.”

She kicks him but it does nothing, she never know Kol was this strong. “What is happening and why are you holding me hostage?”

Kol carries her back over to the couch. “I know it looks like that but this is for you own good. Finn you had one job watch her. Can you get Klaus and Rebekah.”

Finn puts his phone back in his pocket. “I’m in charge here you go get Klaus and Rebekah I’ll watch her.”

“No offense Finn but you didn’t do a good job the last time and I think she could take you.”

Finn flicks his hand and claws comes out of his nails. “I think I can handle one teenage girl.”

Kol rolls his eyes and leaves the living room to get his brother and sister. Caroline looks at the elevator and Finn who is looking at his claws. “ I wouldn’t if I were you. Like my brother said I know this looks bad but we are trying to help you.”

“Help me by keeping me in this dark fortress.”

Finn looks over at her and raises an eyebrow. “Fortress, please this a penthouse.”

Kol re enters with Klaus and Rebekah and Caroline rushes for Rebekah and hugs her finally a friendly familiar face.

Rebekah gets her back on the couch and Klaus sits on the arm of the couch next to Caroline his feet on the couch and arms resting on his knees while Kol sits in a chair off to the side and Finn leans up against the window. Caroline looks at them and they are all looking at her. “Will someone tell me what is going on and how I got here?”

All the siblings look at each other none of them want to explain this it’s hard to explain. Klaus begins. “Kol picked you up after you fell and brought you here.”

Kol adds. “To your death you fell and died.”

Caroline shoots up and exclaims. “What I died. I’m dead, the afterlife is full of Mikaelsons. I can’t die it’s my sixteenth birthday I still have not got a car yet.”

Kol looks over at his siblings. “I don’t know whether to be insulted by that.”

Finn sighs. “How did I end up with this?”

“Freya is busy, Elijah is on a date and Sage is out of town on business.” Finn glares at his sister.

Klaus looks up at Kol while Rebekah tries to get Caroline to sit back down. “I was going to ease her into that tidbit.”

Rebekah gets Caroline to sit back down and is rubbing her arm up and down. “Your not dead... anymore. Look you are like us your Mai.”

Caroline looks over at Klaus and raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me I’m not yours.”

Rebekah tries this time. “No Mai are a group of people who have amazing abilities were not all human but not all god we are descendants of a powerful goddess Bestet we were once protectors of humans and used to help Pharaohs but we got sick of taking orders and the mai and humans had a falling out, for centuries now we’ve been hunted. That man earlier with the scars he was sent to kill you and if we didn’t intervene he would of kept killing you.”

“Kept killing me how many lives do I have?”

Finn from the windows tells her. “Nine we all have nine some refer to us as Demigods, our abilities manifest when we are teenagers.”

Caroline looks at Rebekah. “Is this a joke?”

Rebekah shakes her head no.

“I have claws like him.” She points at Finn.

Rebekah lifts Caroline’s hands up and her finger nails are longer and look like claws. Caroline’s eyes widen. “How do they go away?”

“Relax.”

“That’s easy for you to say you didn’t just learn you died and came back with claws and have had a headache all day.” She glares at Kol for telling her to relax.

Finn leans off the window taking charge. “I know you’ve just been told a lot of things and processing but maybe you would like to go home, you said it was your birthday why don’t you go home and celebrate.”

His three siblings look up at him Finn sometimes can be so insensitive. Caroline nods and Finn flicks a finger to Klaus to take her home.

In the elevator down to the lobby Caroline is pacing and Klaus stops her and puts both hands on her shoulders. “You need to relax did you forget that part where we are being hunted if someone sees claws they will try to kill us.”

Caroline nods and tries to make them go away by closing her eyes tightly but nothing. “Breath with me.”

As the elevator doors open the claws disappear.

Xxx

Klaus drives them to her house, as he drives he asks her, “You were born in the Ukraine right?”

Caroline nods. “How did you know?”

“Mai are not born in America, we come from Europe, Ukraine, Russia that’s where my family was born we moved to London later. Since Mai and humans have had a falling out we can never have a intimate relationship with them. You can not date a human I saw you earlier at that clothing store flirting with that new guy at school that’s all it can be Caroline if you kiss him something bad will happen.”

“Bad how bad?”

“If a Mai kisses a human the human dies best case scenario paralyze before death.”

Caroline turns towards him as he pulls up to her house. “Mai can only kiss mai.”

Klaus nods. “Want to practice.”

Caroline rolls her eyes. “Any more changes?”

“Claws, enhanced hearing, faster reflexes, hyper awareness, accelerated healing, night vision, your stronger now and what am I forgetting oh yeah a tail.”

“What?”

Klaus laughs “Just kidding. About the tail everything else you do get.”

As she is opening the car door. She tells him. “Not funny.”

“Don’t worry one of us will always be there for you, watching out for you.”

Xxx

As Caroline is coming up the front stairs of the two story home she shares with her mom. When she opens the door Davina and Enzo jump out and yell “Surprise!”

Caroline screams and in seconds Klaus is right behind her he places a hand on her shoulder and she jumps they both can hear how fast Caroline’s heart is beating. Klaus leans down and whispers in her ear. His breath tickling as she hears. “Breath.”

She looks up at him surprised he’s here, she thought he left how did he get there so fast. “You forgot this in the car.” He hands her a long black velvet jewelry box. “Happy birthday.”

Xxx

After he leaves Davina and Enzo surround her. “What was Klaus Mikaelson doing here? And what did he give you.”

“You two have had quite the journey today from where you two were this morning.”

Caroline rubs her temple she can hears heartbeats, car’s driving past, clocks ticking, conversations in other homes their TVs. People going for nightly jogs she can hear their music. “Its been an interesting day.” She opens the jewelry box and her eyes widen at the beautiful diamond infinity bracelet.

Liz comes home and sees her daughter and two best friends on the couch. “Your present is here.”

Caroline’s eyes widen and Liz puts her hands over her daughters and guides her outside and there in front of the house on the street is a powder baby blue convertible bug. “Ahhh thank you so much mom.” Caroline flings her arms around her mom’s neck.

Xxx

Later that night after Davina and Enzo went home Liz pulls out a small cinnamon crumb cake for two she gives Caroline and fork and they sit at the island and eat it. After they finish Liz tucks a piece of hair behind Caroline’s ear. “Did you have a good birthday sweetie.”

“It’s definitely one for the books.”

Liz pulls out a card and hands it to her daughter. “This was in the mailbox.”

The envelope does not have a return address it’s addressed to her. She opens the card and all it says is Happy Birthday H.R.

Every year she gets a card from H.R. she doesn’t know who they are and there is never a return address. She has all of them in a shoebox under her bed. One day she hopes to find out who H.R. is.

Xxx

As Caroline is drifting off to sleep Klaus is sitting on her roof watching to see if any harm will come to her. Also her email dings and it’s a email from her father that says happy birthday.

#klaroline #caroline forbes #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #multi chapters #davina claire #kol mikaelson #enzo st john #finn mikaelson #the nine lives of Caroline Forbes #liz forbes

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italianfish · 4 years

Text

Here’s some things that I’ve overheard recently

- Michael Jackson part 1, before he came around

- That’s a sexy gauge

- We have cones in our eyes??? *Turns to friend* Show me your eyes.

- What’s ROYGBIV? Is that a person?

- I put the jewish inside of him

- The air in my house is polluted with sleeping pills

- One day someone will react to my gay jokes

- One day someone brought a tub of ice cream out of their backpack in the middle of class

- Hey Francis (Talking to a blow up alien)

- Why do you like assholes

- Aladdin doesn’t have nipples

- Support your own god damn neck!

- I saw my friend in the bathroom and he gave me orange juice

- FORM THE EQUATOR!!!

- Yes, indeed my good sir

- Sharing your wealth is the way to become poor

- I’m sorry I don’t have calcium in my body

- Why the pancreas?!

- I watched this show and these characters exploded and it was my favorite show

- Someone is going to lose a pancreas

- A: Don’t lose your pancreas B: I’ll try to hold onto it

- She knew how to multiply! And I was like “You’re only three!”

- Come on Moser, hitting the nut won’t do anything

- I work with a prostitute

- I love crunchy pancakes

- You are a big neon doof

- Look I can spit, I’m cool now

- ‘Ay! Trout!

- In her free time she did her taxes

- Hey! You like Raisin Bran?

- If you get a rooster you’ll be hungry, unless you eat him

- It smells like Hawaii

- If A claims he’s a god and Jesus says he’s the son of god... Does that mean Jesus is A’s son?

- We managed to convince our sub that this was a film and lit class so we watched infinity war all period

- A- So let’s keep the duck B- It’s a vulture...

- Did you just call me fuzzy?

- I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on

- He looks like a punk rock jazz drummer

- A- British! British! B- I HAVE A NAME!

- Stop putting your dog in the oven!

- Did you expect it to be that good of a cactus?

- I relate to Squidward so much

- He was like the dad that left to get cigarettes and never came back

- We’re literally following Marty Mcfly

- My elbows are funky fresh

- A- You shank em’ B- No! That is the exact opposite of a solution!

- Unicorns caused global warming

- A- No balls in class! B- But we’re in health

- The crazy chellos are back

- See! I do have friends!

- It’s a train, a train of love

- A- Why do they keep getting rid of the babies? B- I don’t know, abortion

- You have to earn the bucket hat

- My friend brought in 7 bucket hats

- Hide the forks!

- The turtles tried to cross the road once

- I’m scared of turtles

- So does everyone just carry a sword around in their back pocket?

- When you’re fishing, anyone in a bucket hat has authority

- She has cheese on her hook!

- Are your knee pits moist?

- Why are you molesting me with water

- I was born vaccinated

- I was born to be a little spoon

- Why do I look like a hispanic man

- Can I tickle your knee pits?

- You’re going to get eaten by the ocean

- A- You’re a hot mess B- Hey! At least I’m hot!

- They’ve developed a handshake! Isn’t this a problem?!

- We’re in the OG thirteen colonies

- A- I’m not used to seeing those big grassy structures B- You mean trees?!

- My name is bagged milk

- You only drink bagged milk once, in Canada

- It’s not expensive, you’re just poor

- I forgot I’m a lady

- That’s you after I poop

- I want to be Brazilian

- I figured out what the voice was! They’re playing Bingo

- A- Do “coo coo” B- CAW

- It’s probably in a nice aisle, aisle 9

- So inside the bag there are 3 more bags full of milk

- Mom we got the bagged milk

- He told me I looked like Nicholas Cage

- Her bio says inhale the kale

- I feel like an easy bake oven

- The bags just like, left

- But what about the unicorns

- Look at that potato! That looks free!

- Everyone! Find a piece of metal and lick it

- I’m the toilet man

- Go fetch me grapes

- All girls want to molest this

- He ate a whole pancake out of an Applebee’s dumpster

- Why did he eat turf

- I’m on a mission to find dairy products

- I was going to go to school and pretend to be a witch

- Remember when you put the lotion in my mouth and I drank it?

- We’re playing quarter baseball

- Pretend you’re sleeping

- The ultimate frisbee association

- My mom picked me up from school so I could go to ultimate frisbee practice

- They got a $2000 grant for a barely existing ultimate frisbee team

- She’s ultra mom

- The dodgeball guy called my friend a walrus

- We did a dramatic reading of an adult novel

- He was buying materials to make a whip

- Grate her down like a piece of cheese

- We sat in a circle and named our most Jewish quality

- 4 is the cosmic number

- I hate being a fertile woman

- Excuse me I’m Jewish

- Surprise disco duet

- I shook like 7 tents

- She’s the strings teacher, we keep her in the basement

- Whenever we finished a test and we said “I’m done” he would say “I’m done! You’re finished!” his last name was Done

- I thought the fire hydrant was a turkey

- I asked him if his password was like an anniversary or something and he said “It’s the date of my grandparents death”

- He gives us weekly quantum physics lectures

- Bruh! That looks like a lunchbox!

- No offense but this guy would make out with a floorboard

- You seem like the kind of person to kiss a floorboard

- You sound exactly like my pediatrician

- Lots of poop, no sock

- She’s not doing her work, she’s looking at Peppa pig

- Yo neighbor, I need some sugar

- White moms are really easy to scare

- Even though it’s part of Asia, ITS NOT

- Why was there a hanging waffle?!

- I got complimented on my croissant

- You can sell your liver

- Bernie Sanders reminds me of a muppet

- WHY IS THERE A HELICOPTER IN THE KITCHEN!!!!

- What are you going to do? Hunt squirrels?

- *A bunch of AP students shouting “Linguini”*

- I got bitten by an iguana in Aruba

- We got an actor to join the hammock group chat

- Say goodbye to your ovaries

- I’m half a butt cheek away from death

- Are you one of those people who puts ice cream and pop tarts in a blender

- Yo! You got any shoes I can eat???

- That’s how you segregate your trail mix???

- He has a six pack of ribs

- I’m so done with books about African children

- Do homies kiss

- I’m here for the num nums

- Don’t touch my pizza you savage!!!

- HURRY UP AND MEDITATE

- What are you for Halloween? Jewish?

- Do ducks have tails

- He was the one that broke the constitution

- Oh god now there’s Hitler on my paper

- God given right of ruling... Manifest destiny in China

- Do you shampoo your eyebrows

- This isn’t Bayblade!

- Bob Ross wasn’t an artist, he was an art therapist

- If anyone on the team is a jellyfish, it’s definitely Brandon

- It’s your fault that I’m not going to college!

- I’m having spinach for dinner! I’m so excited!

- I locked him in his toolbox

- Let’s rent a midget for a day and we can throw him against a wall

- I know how to utilize money, but do I know how to utilize it well, that’s another question

- Man, that place needs a Chick-fil-a, and I’m going to make it

- We should have the purge in school one day

- If you’re weird enough, people won’t want to rape you

- Flex seal it with tape

- Oh yeah, I got vinegar all over my sweatshirt

- Don’t say “Have a good day”, because I’m not having a good day

- Well maybe someday you’ll have cancer

- What’s up guys, I’m from Richie’s pizza, and today I’ll be showing you my body count

- An obo sounds like a clarinet with Down syndrome

- I DONT HAVE ANY MARINARA SAUSCE ON ME RIGHT NOW

- WE WILL SMUGGLE OUR KIDS TO AMERICA

- I’m the jolly black giant

- You pissed off a priest

- If we get a lot of money, I can take her boyfriend to prom

- Ted Bundy would share a lot of ideas with you

- They’re doing a milk experiment... But with marinara

- A- That’s not a color! B- But it’s on a crayon!

- Hey what’s up cheese goblin

- I’m letting my toes breathe

- I’m just saying, tinfoil doesn’t taste that bad

- YOURE EATING IT YOU UNGRATEFUL SWINE

- When I was away were you in my house? Because it’s happened before

- How do you say I have scoliosis in Italian?

- I’m gonna give give birth to a duck, right here, right now

- Are you comparing a 3D printed violin to genocide

- I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE

- Brother from another mother, TELL ME ABOUT THAT

- I’m a vulture, just vulturing

- I’m going on a field trip to the sewage treatment plant on my birthday

- You’re making my vagina angry

- Competitive Just Dance team

- Oh no there’s spaghetti falling out of my pockets!

- (Yoda impression) Take anger out on minorities I must

- I can turn off the lights and you’d still be white

#overheard #i just overheard #conversation #funny #funny conversations #haha #long post

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jeonjagia · 4 years

Text

Dancing For Yoongi- Chapter 20 Broken Hearts Make Broken Bodies

I have been trying to contact Chandry for 10 minutes now, and there is no reply. "Guys, let's head back, something's wrong," I tell the boys. We gather our supplies, load the van, and head back. I bite my lip as I drive, wondering why she isn't answering. Pulling up to the building, I see the door is open. It was closed when I left. Panic setting in, I open the door to the van before it's stopped, and head inside. I come to a sudden stop. There's Jin, on the floor, pale as a ghost, a pool of blood near him. Rushing toward him, I kneel and see where he is injured. Sighing I see it's just a flesh wound, but a bad one at that. The rest of the boys enter now. "What the hell happened?" Jimin asks looking around. Everything seems in order. Until I notice the food. Food uneaten to be precise. Standing I walk to jungkooks desk and see a bowl of spaghetti and a glass of milk. The glass has condensation on the outside. Touching the bowl, it's slightly warm. "She left 30 minutes ago," I say judging by the heat of the bowl. "What do you mean?" "What? You think she shot jin and made a run for it? No ass she was taken!" I say rounding on Jimin. He backs away. "Suga, get ahold of yourself," Jhope orders. Sighing, I see if my gun is loaded, then head over to the weapons table. Grabbing four throwing knives, another gun, and bullets, I pack up. "Where are you going? We dont even know where she is?" RM chastises. "Yes we do, that building was a fake, and the only person who knew that was her father," I inform. "We need to find her," Sighing, the boys get to work. Jungkook in his computer, RM pulling information from books, and me, thinking logically. I need to find her, I don't know what he will do to her. I think to myself.

"I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS!!!" I scream as he cuts me once again. "Lier," He says glaring at me positioning his knife again. "No, no, I'm serious, I don't know," I pant begging for him to stop. He keeps going as he cuts, slice after slice into my stomach. "You'll be scarred for life, and no one will have you," he muses. My arms ache as they are tied above my head. I'm stretched out on a metal table, hands and feet tied. My shirt pushed up to my chest, exposing my stomach, which he is making his art upon. The next few hours, if they are, I can't tell time, are spent screaming for him to stop. They think I have the location to one of the bases, which I don't, but they do not believe me. "Stop," my father orders as he reappears from the dark corner. "I've had enough, she doesn't know where it is, pity," he says looking at my stomach, "well just wait till they make a move," he says gesturing for the man to leave with him. I'm left, skin burning and blood dripping. Please yoongi, don't do anything stupid. Please. I pray.

We are ready to go. And I already know where we're going: the mansion. The real one. Jungkook found it after an hour of work. Bastard. I think to myself. I know he's hurting her, trying to squeeze information from her. As I imagine it, my fists clench. He's going to get what's coming to him.

Getting into the van, I plug the location into the GPS, and start the car. "Hyung, don't kill us in your quest for vengeance," Jimin says buckling himself in. Smirking at his statement, I drive away from the building, and head off in the direction.

We've arrived at the place, and parked a few blocks down. I didn't think I would find it so fast. But yes, this is the place. Cocking my gun, I slip out of the van, walking around to the other side. "Alright," I say after everyone groups, "we're going in, go silent and try to find Chandry. We know where the storage is, so if you find it, and if you can try to take some, take some. If not, don't try to," The nod, understanding. "Our main focus is Chandry, get her, get out." Nods again. Loading up, we sneak around the perimeter of the fence, looking for an easy way in, undetected. Jimin finds it, a small section of the fence unguarded by cameras or people.Pulling out my laser, I cut a hole for each of us to fit through. Once we're inside, I hurry toward the house in the blind spot of the cameras. The next patrol is in 10 minutes. We have to be inside the house in 10 minutes. "Jimin, find an opening," I command backing up to the wall of the house, gun at the ready. Moving along the wall, I slowly peer around the corner. A guard is coming along way above schedule. Shit. I curse. "Jimin, hurry it up, we have incoming," Jimin pauses understanding what I mean. He hurried faster, trying to get the glass of the window out of its frame. Watching the shadows, I can see the guard will be coming in 5..4..3..2..1.. "What the-," his sentence is silenced as I jam my hand to his throat, knocking him back. Grabbing into his jacket, i pull him forward, not wanting to alert other guards. He struggles against me, successfully jamming his elbow into my jaw. It'll bruise. Growling I throw him into the wall, his head coming in contact with a lump in the decor of the structure. He's out cold. "Jimin," I urge, wiping away blood from a cut on my lip. "Got it!" He announces, holding the glass piece Placing it on the ground, we enter into the building, the dining room to be exact. Lush carpet adorns the floor, and a huge chestnut dining table centers in the room. Beautiful flower print table cloth and dishes decorate the table, making it seem like a rich family lives here. Looks can be deceiving I guess. Moving across the room, I press up against the wall along with the door, and quietly turn the handle of the ornate entrance. Peering out, I see to the left is the entrance into the house, a chandelier hangs stating the wealth of the place, a half wrap staircase runs along the furthest wall. Right in front of me, is a hallway. Painted white with ornate decor built into it. Another lush carpet lines the hardwood floor. Now I need to figure out where the downstairs is. That's where all their dirty work is. Like I said, looks can be deceiving. Watching the guards to the left, I figure out a time where we can exit the room and enter the hallway. "On three, run quietly to the hallway," I say over my shoulder to the boys as I still watch the guards. "One...two...three!" I exit the room, and make a run for the hallway. The boys follow and line up behind me in the hallway. "Well done boys. Now we need to find the downstairs," "Here boss," Jungkook says quietly opening a door, which leads to stairs to a lower level. "Go go," I urge as they file down. Entering the stairs, I close the door behind me. It's dark, so my eyes have to adjust to the light. The staircase is metal, so there's no hiding out coming. Circling around the structure there is a hallway to the right, and I head for it. Metal doors line the hallway on either side. I have no idea where to go. "Jungkook, where was she?" I ask keeping an eye out for guards. We are right out in the open. "I didn't have it boss," "What? Well pull it up!" I urge knowing we don't have time. "There's no wifi down here," he protests trying on his phone. Where is she?! Loosing it I yell, "Chandry!" "Yoongi, what the hell are you doing?!" RM yells through clenched teeth. "Chandry!" I yell starting to try the doors in a panic. "Jungkook find her!" I yell pulling on the metal handles.

"Chandry!" I hear from my sleep and I start awake. Theyre here. No. Yoongi, you didn't. "Yoongi!" I yell, struggling against my bonds. "Yoongi its a trap! ITS A TRAP!" I scream, my voice raw and hoarse. Please let him hear me! I think to myself as I look at the gun aimed at his height, rigged to fire if the door is opened. A tear falls.

"It's a trap!" I hear from the end of the hallway. I head toward it, still yelling her name. "Yoongi, ITS A TRAP!" I hear again. The last door on the left. Trap my ass. Trying the door gently, I can tell it's unlocked, but has some resistance. It's rigged. Cursing, I back track. I have no idea what the trap will do. "Jhope, the doors rigged, I don't know if it will hurt me or her," I say checking my gun. "Here," he hands me a scanner type device. "What the hell do I do with this?" I ask pressed for time. "Scan the room, it will come up with a picture on jungkooks phone," he informs. Handy. Heading back to the door, I scan it up and down, left and right. "Got it?" I ask looking back at them. "Hyung, there's a rifle rigged toward the door if you open it," Jungkook says examining the screen. Nodding I know what to do. Sinking down, I open the door from below. And then come the bullets. The gun fires fill its out. "YOONGI!!!" I hear her scream. Once it's done, I stand up, brushing casings off my shirt. Entering, I see her tied to a metal table, cuts adorn her stomach. Bastard. I curse. Unsheathing my knife, I cut her loose. She hugs me instantly. I hug her back. It's like she's clinging to me for life. I pause, thinking of the mission. It's too easy. It was all too easy. Pulling her off the table and carrying her,I hurry out of the room. "Guys we need to go," I say approaching them. "Why?" "It's a trap." "Yes we know," "No, not here." "Where?" Sudden realization plays in their faces, and they start backtracking. Up the stairs, into the hallway, and into the dining room. A guard catches us, and starts firing. With one shot he's down, but he's alerted others. Into the dining room we go, back out of the window, and to the side of the house. Quickly eyeing if there are any guards, I run with Chandry in my arms, back down the hill and through the fence. "Here," I say setting her down against the van. I then help the boys get through. "Into the van!" I yell, picking Chandry up and placing her in the back seat. "Jungkook now is not the time, but try to work on her," I order getting into the drivers seat. He nods knowing how serious this is. Once everyone's in, I kick the gas, screeching tires in our getaway. As we are on our way back, I keep checking the rear view mirror to make sure no ones coming. No ones coming. It was a trap. "Hyung, this is so disgusting what he did," Jungkook states from the backseat. "Why? What do you mean?" I ask concerned for Chandry. "He's cut her, the bastard sewed her up, only to cut her again. She's going to have giant scars on her stomach," he says picking at the bloodied gauze as she lays across his lap. Jungkook was right. He still loves her. I can see it. However cruel and twisted, he loves her. Shaking my head, I say, "Jungkook, just try to heal her as best you can without Jin,"

We pull up to the house and start to get out of the car. I take Chandry in my arms. She's already passed out. "There's something bad in here," I tell the boys. Entering the mission room, I don't see anything abnormal, except for the blood still on the floor from Jin. Still need to clean that up. Placing Chandry gently down on the floor, I take my gun out and cock it. Going from room to room, I make sure that the doors weren't broken into. Everything's fine, until I come to taehyungs room. It's ajar. Shit. Entering slowly, the smell comes first. Closing my eyes, I already know what to expect. Coming around the corner, there she is. Hardly recognizeable from the blood and broken face bones. Grimacing I look at her, or what's left of her. Taes going to be heartbroken. He actually started to love her. Backing out I head back to the room. "Everything's clear," I say staring at taehyung. He looks at me for a long while before he realizes what I can't say. "No," his voice sounds so heartbroken. Putting his gun away, he starts out of the room. "Wait, what happened?" Jimin asks from the floor where him and Jungkook are working on Chandry. A few seconds later we hear it. The roar of a heart broken man. Closing my eyes, I can't imagine what he's feeling. Another yell. "Boss?" Jimin inquires. "They got Celeste," I whisper. Jimin realizes and with a pause, continues working on Chandry. And another yell. I wait for him to come back. He soon returns, hands covered in blood, knees of his pants too, he must have kneeled by her. He's crying, in a rage, furious. I can relate. "No!" He yells knocking over a chair. "Tae," I say calmly. He doesn't stop. He takes the metal table, throwing everything off, papers, pens, and paper clips, all flying in one smooth motion. "Tae," I repeat more firmly. He stops and glares at me, eyes red, tears pouring. "I'm going to kill him," he says lowly at me, almost growling. Anyone who makes an enemy of Taehyung, doesn't live very long after they've wronged him.

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leelee10898 · 5 years

Text

Chikara: Ojike (3/?)

Summary: Ellie finally moves forward with her life, and something goes horribly wrong. Ojike translates to Fear.

Warning! This chapter contains violence, pain and sexual violence. Read at your own risk.

Series Raiting: Mature. Angst, character death and violence, Nsfw content.

Catch up HERE

** I apologize in advance. Line break is not working

"Again." He ordered. Ellie got into position as Colt charged her, she quickly ducked under his punch and jabbed him in the side. Colt turned around and faced her, this time his leg swept out and Ellie quickly jumped out of the way, taking out his other leg. Colt fell to the ground, but not before he grabbed hold of her ankles taking her down with him. He pinned her down on the ground, his face inches from hers. "Damnit Ellie. Remember always watch your opponent's movements. It could be a matter of life or death." She rolled her eyes "Is this really necessary?"

Colt let go of his hold on her, Ellie used her body strength to flip Colt over. She straddled him pinning his arms above his head. "Always watch your opponent's movements." She smirked at him. "Cute." He chuckled. She pressed her lips to his, as he wriggled his arms free, his hands stroking her sides.

"Ok, let's work on another sequence."

Colt jolted up from a dead sleep. It was just a dream, but damn if it didn't feel real. Shortly before Ellie went to Riyas, Colt taught Ellie some self defense. Every member of the Kaneko family was made to take different forms of martial arts. Teppei may not have wanted Colt to take the helm of the MPC, but he damn sure insisted he have the same training. He looked at his phone, 8 pm which mean it was 11pm Eastern time. He crept from the couch, and walked out the back door taking a seat on the steps. He punched in his passcode and opened his photos,opening the one album that got him by, Ellie.

There weren't many, mostly of prom. A few from their time together at the garage, the times they spent sneaking around with each other. He missed her so much it hurt, the days were ok he kept himself busy, but the nights wore the worst. He told himself not to do it, but his needs got the best of him. He punched in the number he memorized by heart, blocking the number of course. He held it to his ear as it rang on the other end, 3 times before he heard it

Hello?

He felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Such a sweet sound, a sound that could bring him to his knees.

Hello? She said again.

He couldn't speak, but god did he want to. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and missed her so much. He wanted to tell her that he was coming there, to be with her, to protect her, but he just couldn't. He shouldn't have even called.

Colt? Colt is it you? He could hear the desperation in her voice.

He panicked, quickly hanging up the phone.

"Hey, there you are? How's that side feeling?" A voice came up behind him. He quickly wiped the tears that had been pooling in his eyes "Hey x, yeah im feeling a little better. I'll be heading back home tomorrow. " he stood averting her gaze so she wouldn't see the sadness he couldn't shake. He stepped into the house, ximena following behind. After he was attacked he went to the only place he thought he could get help, ximena. He filled her in on what happened, And how the assailant told him that Wallace sent him. Colt was planning on going after them, hunting them down and taking care of them once and for all.

"I know you miss her Colt. But you're going to burn yourself down before you can even make it to her. Get out of LA, got be a normal guy." Ximena ruffled his hair with her fingers. "I don't know how to be a normal guy X. And if the brotherhood is out there still, it's not safe for me to be around her, not yet." He flopped down on the couch, wincing in pain as he forgot about the fresh gash on his side. "I just hope you know what your doing kid."

******

East Coast.........

"Colt. Colt is that you?" Ellie panicked, desperate to hear his voice, but she was met by the end of the call.

"Hey, whats up Ellie? Ingrid came to find her as she had stepped away once she noticed the blocked call flashing on her screen. It had to be him, he would be the only one to call her blocked, but why wouldn't he say anything?

"I think Colt called me blocked." Ingrid gave her a stern look. "Did he say anything?" Ellie shook her head no. "Well how do you know it was really him? I think you need to put your phone in your purse." She took the phone from Ellies hand, and slipped it into her purse. "And enjoy the movie with us. Nick seems to really like you." Ingrid grinned looping her arm in Ellies. "Yeah, You're right. Ok I can do this." Ellie took a deep breath and rejoined the two men for the movie.

Over the next couple of weeks Ellie spent most of her free time with Ingrid, Kyle and Nick. She knew Nick liked her it wasn't much of a secret, Ingrid made sure to tell her every chance she got. She also broadened her horizons by taking a few dance classes, and not the classical training ones her father forced her into, since she enjoyed learning from Logan. It was two days before Christmas break kicked off. Ellie had just finished her last paper and pressed send, closing her laptop when ingrid busted into the room. "Get up, were going out."

She demanded, throwing open Ellie's closet. "Ah. Ok where are we going?" She came up beside Ingrid, who was frantically searching through Ellies clothes. "Nothing. You have nothing here. Guess you'll have to wear something of mine then." Ingrid sighed. "Ingrid, slow the hell down, where are we going?" Ingrid stiffened rolling her eyes as she turned towards Ellie. "Ellie. It's the sigma beta sigma holiday mixer. The most important of all holiday parties on campus, and we scored an invite." Ellie knew a few of the sigma brothers, she helped a few of them writing reports for them.

"Yes. Yes this will work beautifully." Ingrid held up a bright red short flare dress, with a squared neck and spaghetti straps.she handed the dress to Ellie, and motioned to change. It fit like a glove, she paired it with a pair of black tights and booties, colts leather jacket the finishing touch. She scrunched her hair, giving the illusion of perfect beach waves. Ellie looked at herself in the mirror, it had been a while since she got dolled up, but she felt good. "Ok, time to take a selfie." Ingrid grinned as she slid up next to her, both posing for the picture. "

She posted the photo to Instagram, tagging Ellie and they headed for the party.

Once there Ellie enjoyed herself dancing and chatting with some people she met in a study group. She broke into a smile when she spotted Nick approaching with two red solo cups. "Hey you." Nick handed her a cup. "You look stunning Ellie." She held the cup in her hand, staring down at the contents. "You're not going to end up drunk off one drink. Its holiday punch." Nick teased as Ellie lifted the cup to her ruby lips taking a modest sip. She immediately grimaced at potent concoction she ingested. Nick snorted at her expression. "Ok, that was downright disgusting." She gagged.

She shared a few dances with Nick, before she knew it it was almost 12. She went in search of Ingrid to let her know she was leaving, she had a ton of packing to do and her flight left at 10 am. She looked everywhere she possibly could before giving up her search. "Can you tell Ingrid I had to leave. I can't find her anywhere." She asked Nick who was nursing a beer in the corner of the room. "Yeah, sure. Do you want me to walk you home?" He searched her eyes for any kind of sign "No, I'll be alright. Thanks though. You're such a good friend Nick." She stood on her tiptoes placing a kiss on his cheek. "Yeah, good friend." He half chuckled. "Merry Christmas Nick." She smiled as she headed for the door.

It was a couple block walk back to the dorm. She pulled colts jacket tightly against her body, to shield herself from the bitter wind that slashed against the sheer fabric of her legs. It had just snowed a few days prior, so she had to be careful walking not to slip in ice with the slight heal on her boots. She made it a block from the frat house before she noticed a shadow trailing behind her. A chill rippled through her body, but not from the cold. She picked up the pace, trying to put some distance between her and the uneasy feeling of the stranger behind her. She crossed the the other side of the street in hopes the other person would stay on the opposite side, and when they followed she felt her heart drop and pulse race.

Just 2 more blocks to go, but the uneasy feeling grew as the person picked up their pace. Ellie broke into a sprint as they headed for the dimly lit alley that separated her from the town and the campus. If she could just make it onto school property she would be ok. She walked into the alley, a dead end. Her nerves getting the better of her, she took a wrong turn, there was only one way out and the person following her, a man, was now right in front of her, blocking her only exit.

"Man, you're a hard one to get alone." He spoke, as he gave her a crooked smirk. "St- stay back. You. You don't know who you're messing with." Her voice betrayed her. "Heh," he laughed. "I know exactly who you are Ellie wheeler. Man, Jason said to take care of you." He began to move forward, Ellie cowering away backing into a wall. "You're a lot cuter than I expected. I think I'll have myself a little fun before I kill you."

"Jason? No. He's in jail." Ellie whimpered in disbelief. "Oh. You didn't hear? He escaped. And he wants retribution for your betrayal." The man lunged for her, somehow she remembered the training she got from Colt, her father and Logan. She stepped to the side slightly, bringing her knee up and slamming it into his groin hard. He crumpled to the ground with a loud grunt as Ellie ran towards the opening of the alley. "No you fucking dont." He reached out grabbing her leg, pulling her down to the cold, unforgiving pavement. She picked herself up quickly, shaking off the stinging pain of her hands.

Her assailant gripped her by the hair spinning her around and slamming her into the brick wall, hitting her head. A small trickle of blood ran down her face, As she screamed out. His hand gripped tight in her hair he spun her around to face him. "My. My father is a detective, he will see you in jail. And my. My friends, the MPC. they'll kill you." She sobbed out the man looked at her with a wildness in his eyes. "I'll be long gone by the time they find you sweet thing. The brotherhood stays hidden." He began to push her dress up. Panic set in, she flailed wildly as he cupped her mouth drowning out her screams. She moved her head biting down on his hand hard, eliciting a scream from the man. He lifted his hand and back handed her, sending her to the ground again. "You little bitch. I'm going to enjoy this." He spoke as he grabbed her legs, pulling her towards him. Ellie thrashed her legs frantically, freeing one and kicking him into the stomach. She stood, adrenaline pumping, anger coursing through her veins. She kneed the in his jaw as he doubled over in pain from the kick to his abdomen. She should have ran, she should have screamed for help but the only thing on her mind was hurting the man who attacked her.

As she landed blow after blow she felt herself being torn apart, the shy sweet nerd she once was falling away, leaving something behind she didn't quite recognize. The man collapsed on the ground, face bleeding badly from where Ellie punched repeatedly. With some strength he grabbed hold of her ankle yanking her to the ground. He hovered above her grabbing her head on either side and slamming it back into the pavement with a sickening thud. Her eyes flickering shut she seen a figure ran into the alleyway pulling the man off of her. The last thing she heard was her name being called repeatedly as she slipped into blackness.

Permatag

@kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101 @hazah @desiree-0816

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear

@simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent

@akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch @choicesarehard @paisleylovergirl @itskismetbb @itsmarleen

@rhischoicesfanfics @distinguishedsaladoperawinner @iplaydrake @coffeebeandragon @jasidu2 @charliezchan

@umiumichan @sarwin85 @skdskdskdskdskdsk @liamzigmichael4ever

@littlemissimaginativerhi

@sumbarbietingz

#chikara rod fan fic #leelee10898 fan fic #choices ride or die #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #colt x ellie #colt kaneko #rod colt #colt x mc #ellie wheeler #ingrid rod #jason shaw #the brotherhood rod

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ravenempress101 · 6 years

Text

“Bodied” Mikey Pearce Smut imagine *Requested*Sexual parts! 18+ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!

Anonymous: Hello, can i request a smut for mikey pierce where the reader is feeling really insecure about her body and mikey tries to like show her how wonderful she is, if that makes sense.

thank you for requesting!

request and ask me anything!

y/n and mikey planned to see mikey’s parents before thanksgiving. it was the morning to wake up and go see them. mikey was in the living room packing while you were up stairs getting out the shower. once you got out the shower you grabbed your towel and placed it around your slender body. when you placed it around your body you looked down at your body and you felt down to your slightly love handles just looking at them made you cringe. she was so stressed. thoughts running through your mind beating you up.

“do i really look that disgusting?”

“i think i need to lose weight”

y/n walked out the bathroom and walked into the master bedroom and went toward her walk in closet. she started looking for her luxury dress that mikey brought her to wear to her parents house. when she scanned through the 20th dress she finally found the black dress with gold buckles on the side. y/n unzipped the dress and placed it over her slender body dropping the towel. Then she looked for her glass high heels to go with the dress.

once she scanned through her shoes draws, y/n finally found her gucci glass high heels. she put them on but when putting them on, her thoughts were feeding on her.

“your feet are so big”

“why is the big toe so big”

your feet are not porpotioned right"

y/n sighed into disbelif and placed the other high heel on the her foot and then she got up and went over to the makeup station and sat down on her luxury chair and grabbed for a makeup wipe to cleanse her face and then she grabbed for her foundation, placing a generous amount of foundation on her foundation sponge and started smoothing the substance on her face.

Thinking in her mind “maybe makeup would help me to feel atleast pretty”

she tried to trick her troubled mind and then the voices started getting louder.

“MAKEUP WONT FIX THAT FACE”

“YOU ARE SO UGLY”

“YOU ARE A JOKE”

then the voices started getting louder and louder by the minute

“MIKEY DOESNT EVEN LIKE YOU”

“HE ONLY WENT OUT WITH YOU JUST TO HAVE SOMEONE BY THERE SIDE TO HAVE SEX WITH”

y/n dropped her foundation product and threw her sponge at the mirror and cruled up in to a ball in her makeup seat and screamed

“STOP!”

mikey heard the glass of the foundation bottle and your scream he dropped the clothes he was folding and he ran up stairs to the master bedroom and started looking for you.

He called out your name.

“Y/N are you okay love?”

mikey sounding worried he kept looking for you then he saw your walk in closet door open and ran in going straight to you. He couldnt believe what he saw before him. He saw you in a state of anxiety. mikey wrapped his arms around you and rubbed little cirlces in your back trying to calm you down.

Then mikey lifted up and waited for you to talk. when you lifted up your head mikey saw your teared stain face. mikey didnt know why you were crying but he was sure gonna get a answer out of you. when you lifted your head your body was shaking and mikey could feel the hurt that was radiating off of you.

mikey put his slender fingers on your cheek and softly with his thumb rubbed your cheek looking into your warm broken eyes finding any clues to what is wrong and began to asked

“why are you crying babygirl? whats wrong?”

y/n sniffed before talking and tears started coming again.

“mikey why are you with me?”

y/n violenty pulling away her face from mikeys hand and getting up from her makeup chair wipping her tears and backing away from mikey.

mikey looked hurt by the action you did and asked a question

“why would you ask me that y/n? i love everything about you and the things that i find out about you”

y/n laughs a little knowing she is playing herself when mikey said this

“no, you dont mikey.”

mikey looking at you hurt as ever saying what you stated.

“how can you love a girl that looks in the mirror every single freaking day and say i’m ugly my boyfriend doesnt even….“

mikey stood up and charged over to you and stopped y/n from saying what she was about to say by giving her a big kiss on her lips. mikey slipping his tounge in y/n mouth kissing her words away. he pulled back and looked in her eyes started speaking.

“don’t you ever say that your ugly or i dont love you. i will always love you no matter what goes on and your the most beautiful woman ever that i laid my eyes on.”

“i love your body”

mikey touching your love handles and admiring them then taking your spaghetti strap off your shoulder and then the other one letting your dress fall to your feet exposing your naked body to him. then mikey leaning in to kiss your lips passionatley. you can feel his hard on growing by the passionate kiss hes giving you. once he was done he pulled back and began to speak.

“i love your thighs”

mikey trails his hands down to your booty and puts both his hands on each side of your booty cheeks and starts rubbing your cheeks softly and then pulling you close to him by your cheeks and then his hands trail on to the front of you then he finds your thighs and he rubs passionatly on your thighs. then mikey whispers in your ear.

“i love everything”

mikey hugging your bare body and rubbing you all over your body adoring every inch of you, his touches sends shock waves through your body when you feel with his touch you let out a breathless moan from his rubbing and big hard on he has.

mikey hears you breathlessly and smiles at you under his pleasure.

“never forget that”

mikey whispering in your ear soflty.

“your made out of beauty and adorableness”

mikey kissing your cheek and pinching her cheek in a cute way.

y/n came back to herself and looked at mikey and smiled a little at his silly antic

mikey began to speak again

“makeup or not your still beautiful and sweet nothing less your amazing perfect and will always be those things so dont listen to those insecure comments that feel that troubled mind listen to the truth and the truth is your beautiful baby”

mikey smiled and placed his lips on her forehead and punckering them up and placing a lingering peck on her forehead y/n closing her eyes feeling his warmth of kiss on her feeling like the most luckiest girl in the world.

then he pulled back and then y/n grabbing mikey’s face and placing a passionate but steamy kiss on his lips slipping her tounge in his mouth and mikey melting in her kiss and then y/n head going to one side deeping the kiss and then y/n pulled back leaving mikey still in the kissing positon and y/n laughing at his face.

then mikey take off his white t-shirt and then he unzips his black skinny pants but realizing hes kissing air he opens his eyes looking around feeling embrassed.

mikey complety naked asking a question

“what was that for?”

“it was for making me feel like the most luckiest girl in the world, thank you baby”

mikey smiled and blushed

“well with that kiss i think we should stay home and schedule another day to see my parents.”

y/n laughed at mikey cause mikey was serious.

mikey captured y/n’s naked body in his and picked her up bridal stlye and placed kisses all over while y/n laugh and joy filled the room. mikey carrying her to the bed kissing her and tickling her with his tounge while kissing.

“omg mikey we have to see your parents”

mikey throwing you on the bed and laughing.

“will see them just some other time i want to treat my baby cause she so beautiful.”

mikey jumping on top of you and mikey capturing your heartshapped lips in his passionatly kissing you and you melting in the kiss forgetting about what you guys had to do.

then mikey slips his tounge in your mouth and explores your mouth. y/n smiles in the kiss and slips her tounge in his mouth. both of your tounges waltzing each other. y/n moans from the warmth of his intense kissing then mikey hearing you he takes his tounge back in and puckers his lips and pecks yours and then he stops kissing you and pecks your cheek and then trails down your neck pecking your neck but finding your sweet spot on your neck he kisses and bites.

y/n moans from the biting mikey is doing.

mikey keeps kissing and biting a little making a blue and purple mark. when mikey gets done he licks the newly made mark he done and trails down to your chest. he adds a mark to your chest.

once he gets done with your chest he trails down to your left breast and kisses the breast.

y/n feels his lips working on her she groans and moans lowly. mikey smiles hearing his babygirl whimper under him. then he captures her boob in his mouth and starts sucking on them and then he wiggles his tounge on her nipple playing with her nipple in his mouth. then he slightly bite her nipple and y/n moans loudly and then mikey graps her right boob with his hands and start massaging it giving y/n the attention she needs.

mikey stops and says

“you know i love these”

him biting his lip and then going to the right one and sucking on it and wiggling his tounge.

y/n moans out and says

“shut up mikey you so funny”

y/n couldnt say everything but whimpered

mikey bitting at the nipple making a blue mark appear and then trailing down her stomach with kisses and then getting to the vagina.

He slowly kisses on her vagina. y/n whimper knowing mikey is teasing her. but then mikey kisses pasionalty at her vagina and then slips his tounge in the clit wiggling and licking.

y/n grabs on to his brown locks of hair enjoying his movements on her. mikey licking inside her walls. y/n guiding mikey’s face deeper in her. mikey going deeper and eating her out. Then y/n moans loudly her legs are shaking from the euphoria hitting her body. Then she screams to Mikey

“Mikey I’m about to cum”

Mikey grins at you and stops eating you out then he goes right back up to your lips and starts french kissing you you French kissed him back tasting you on his mouth both of you continued French kissing and he rubbed his Pre cummed dick and lined up at your entrance and then he slowly went inside you.

Y/n groaned feeling Mikey feel her up and then mikey began to move in and out slowly showing her love the love she need then Mikey picked up pace and started going faster y/n moaned and groan then grabbing on his back and clawing at it then Mikey speeding up and slamming in to you

y/n screaming Mikey’s name and clawing at his back

Mikey kissing your neck and your mouth you moaning in the kiss while he pounds in you.

Mikey pounds in and out of you an then you feel your high come. “Mikey I’m about to cum"

Mikey pounding

Mikey begans to say "cum for me beautiful” you hear his deep british accent and cum for Mikey

when Mikey feels your warm cum he pounds harder and deeper and cums himself you both riding out your oragasms and then he pulls out and then kisses you.

Then Mikey whispered to you “remember your always beautiful”

mikey jumping on you in a playful way and you giggled while he kissed all over you

y/n bursting out laughing at mikey playfully tickling you and messing with you

inbetween laughs y/n said

“i love you mikey”

Then continued on with you two bringing joy into each others lives.

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hadjii-blogs-undertale · 7 years

Text

[23 days later]

In reference to https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/163800444030/

@lynns-art-blog

...

And honestly, @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe because there's things in here that go for you too. Please read it through to the end. Or just skip to the very end at first and then go back and read through if you need.

I really, really, really didn’t actually want to get off my butt and do this, for multiple reasons. And not just cuz I’m a lazy jackhole with depression who doesn’t want to do anything in general. But recent events have brought things to a head, and I cannot remain silent any longer.

First, I should like to clarify just where I stand as regarding the Undertale fandom.

The Undertale fandom is a beautiful thing. It is extremely imperfect but I love the fandom and will continue to do so for as long as I am able.

Second, I should like to clarify where I stand as regarding Undertale itself.

It will be difficult however, because I love Undertale more than I am capable of putting into any transferable medium that I know of.

Am I a bit emotionally over-invested in Undertale?

Heck. Yes.

I also don't care that I am.

Undertale has brought more joy and happiness and meaning to my life than literally anything else save my family who raised me and loves me, my religion, and a shortlist of friends, some of whom I only have so dear to my heart because of Undertale, so the point is moot.

I can't say that Undertale cured my depression, because it didn't.

What it did do is it showed me at a critical point in my life that there's something outside the grey murky mire.

I'd considered myself an emotionally open person before Undertale. This was only vaguely true. Current me cannot comfortably say that old me was emotionally intelligent without severe disclaimers.

Old me was an emotionally awkward dirtbag who had some idea of how to be a person but on the whole was completely clueless.

I had forgotten how to feel. Like, really feel. And not just from the depression.

I could occasionally get hits from certain songs and I absolutely lived for those moments but the songs would rapidly hit their saturation levels and I'd be cold again.

Then Undertale came along. I loved the game long before I played it, discovering things about it slowly through an endless flood of my tumblr feed.

It looked like a rather good, cute, compelling little game. Eventually I decided to write a bit of fanfiction about it because it looked really good and I wanted to churn out what would happen if GLaD had an interaction with a murdery timeline.

So I went and researched. I dug and I dug and I dug. This wasn't all of my research, but on one particular tumblr alone I went through 700-odd undertale posts.

Between that and pouring out my heart and soul into the writing as I discovered just how much I could care about these things, or care in general really, I found that I'd left the door open, and something came back. A whole lot of something.

Undertale is a Happy™ game about Happy™ things.

I had learned that maybe sad things weren't all bad back from the days of Background Pony. The difference being, Background Pony had a disappointing, absurd ending. They'd won the right even by my sappy heart to have a sad ending, then they completely botched it. I'd associated one of the most significant songs I know of with it, and they failed terribly.

But Undertale had a good ending. As aggravating as it is to not be able to keep Asriel, much less Chara, in the bounds of the game itself, that's part of the point of the ending. So there was no knee-jerk shock. While it is true that in a practical Undertale implementation, unbounded by the Game Maker engine, fuelled by the raw power of Determination, human spirit, and imagination, surely something more could have been achieved. But that does not take away from the coherent ending of Undertale.

There is a lot of pain in Undertale. So much pain.

It is overwhelming and vivid and searing and scorching and so very, very tangible and understandable and real. Not that the events of the game are real, well, as far as I can tell. The emotions are deep and real, I mean.

This was to me as the gas leak was to Vinny Santorini in Atlantis.

Due to the combined pressure of the mental overhaul Undertale was giving me, and the softness and vulnerability it re-introduced, throwing in re-learning certain cold facts about how much the powers-that-be at my previous job didn't care about doing good work, only making money, more severely than I had previously believed from last year, I lost my ability to continue driving there and showing up every day. Now, due to the way the contract works, and my having left the job gracefully, I am free to go back whenever I want. I was not fired. There are many employees who just go there, work as long as they can, then leave and wait for next season to come back. Their efforts are appreciated, especially when all heck breaks loose at the beginning of the on-season because all the bugs in the software that weren't found yet are harsly exposed. What happened with me is not ideal, nor is it rare or even unusual at this place. In about 3 months I could walk in the door and they'd welcome me with a smile and I'd get back to politely telling people that they're wrong and clueless and fixing their crap for them and half the time doing their job for them. (as if that's terribly different than my current job... just in person now instead of over a phone)

Anyways, so, Undertale hurts. Loving Undertale so deeply hurts a lot.

But it's also happy. It has so much happiness. It's so bright and wonderful. It's a warm, soft, fuzzy hug from goatmom and a slice of butterscotch pie. It's making spaghetti with Papyrus, only using an actual recipe this time and making it turn out well. It's watching anime until 4 am with Alphys and Undyne and suppressing giggles at seeing the two precious gay babies asleep and cuddling. It's hugging Sans and telling him it'll be okay. It's having a lovely tea party with Asgore and Muffet.

It's kissing a sad sapient golden flower on the forehead, buying a bar of chocolate and raising it in the air as a toast before eating it.

Bittersweet happiness sometimes but so very, very good and I love it and I really cannot get enough.

I'm addicted. Addicted to feeling again.

As the band Ghost says, "From the pinnacle to the pit, it is a long way down."

I haven't been to the absolute bottom, in that I haven't been institutionalized/hospitalized/just straight up killed by my depression, But I have been in the shower for 4 hours before from 2 am to 6 am at college, for one thing, so uhhh, nobody can say that I'm utterly clueless about such things without looking like a lunatic.

https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164567314340

Posts like the above still rip my heart out every time I see them. I've long since re-associated the song mentioned earlier with this particular point of note of Chara.

It's not entirely pleasant, no, but it makes me feel so alive and real and like I'm an actual human being and not an emotionless, soulless automaton covered in flesh.

And the happy posts are just that much brighter because of the contrast.

https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164689197750 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164498003145 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164161681835 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164061257705

Some people can get by on just fluff alone. There's nothing wrong with that. This is just the way I personally operate. As for me, I've had too much saccharine positivity and "oh dont be sad everything is completely fine and theres nothing to be sad about youre not depressed just get up and go to work son!"

sorry got sidetracked and a little oddly specific there anyways

So the point is from the above wall of text that I have a lot of investment in Undertale and it means a lot to me.

Now, it's time for me to pull receipts.

One receipt, to be exact.

On a semifamous Undertale blog, that I still have not responded to, and quite possibly never will, unless you count this post as a response.

http://charadreemurr.tumblr.com/post/157052680490

I literally couldn't even read their last response for a solid two months because my eyes would skim off the words because they were full of so much utter crap. When I did, I was sorry for it, because it was still so much crap. And no, this isn't like the average tumblr receipt pull, because a lot of the time, a given person has changed for the better, and the receipts you're pulling are for a dramatically different person. This person has not changed and as best as I can tell will never change, or at least not for the next decade or so, unless something dramatic happens. They were the OP of the twitter bustercluck. If you don't know, don't ask, because I don't feel like getting into that right now. I may do so later though in a different post.

All I was trying to do was share a little positivity, and I was met with discourse, hostility, and self-righteousness.

"And second “biological gender” is a statement rife with discontent-"

Pardon my french but wtf m8?

Since then I have learned more thoroughly that in more modern usage, that sex and gender don't have ambiguity and don't need "biological" and "identity" modifiers for clarification, so to a limited extent, they were correct.

However, this does not excuse their behavior. There are many people, myself included back then, that because of their upbringing are uncomfortable saying the word "sex" in any context. I am not now, but I was then, which is why I used "gender" with modifiers for clarification. I gave them multiple chances in earlier reblogs to realize that I was just trying to share a bit of happiness. I clearly conveyed the belief that what's in one's pants doesn't necessarily align with what's in one's head and that it's not a problem. I also clearly stated that when referring to Frisk and Chara, one should use they/them.

And yet, they chose to perceive a threat where there was none. They prefaced their statement with "Yikes" then "Im gonna assume the best here though because i wanna assume people are good"

And completely did not follow through on that.

Statement rife with discontent, indeed.

I was rather hurt by this. Especially, especially because of the uniqueness of their url. They are the one and only charadreemurr. That's a very particular title, and they ought to live up to it.

And here, they did not. Unless Chara Dreemurr really is supposed to be a pretentious self-serving self-righteous paranoid uptight jackhole of a binch. In which case, congratulations, they succeeded.

I showed the post to a different trans friend of mine, and they were shocked by the post as well, looked through their tumblr, and declared the person "basically their least favorite type of person".

To this day, I feel uneasy just seeing the word "yikes" sometimes.

I have mentioned it a few times to some people but this really sent me for a loop. I almost left the fandom on the spot, like far too many good people have done when they were burned by the toxic side of the fandom.

And honestly, if I'd lost Undertale at such a key point in my life, with my job already falling apart, and the other crap I was going through at the time, especially with the election, I cannot safely say that I'd still be here. With the friends that I wouldn't have made solid yet, I probably would have attempted suicide.

And believe me, I'm an engineer. I would not have survived. Knives, pills, guns, rope, water, heights, motor vehicles, police, fire, bleach, all are too unreliable for me. I know exactly how I would do it, if I were to ever do it.

Yeah, I know, it's not anyone's job to make sure I don't commit suicide beyond my own. People who threaten others with their own suicide are horribly manipulative. I am not threatening anyone with my suicide here. I'm not saying "ermagersh dont break up with me or ill literally kill myself" What I am saying is "X happened to me in the past and it's made me want to kill myself" Suicide baiting someone is a terrible thing to do. Accidental baiting someone is not someone's fault, as it's accidental, but generally one should try to avoid it. Very similar to triggering somebody. Don't trigger people. If you do, apologize, and do better in the future, and be more consistent about tags and crap.

Just for the record, due to that and other things that have happened to me, I know that I am not now and not ever going to die by my own hand.

Because, I stood up. I turned around. And like Captain America, I said "No. You move."

Well, in my head. I didn't actually say anything to them.

And I stayed.

And that has made all the difference.

I have a great job now that pays moderately well. I have a wonderful aspec girlfriend now. My life still sucks in so many ways but I actually oftentimes see a light at the end of the tunnel. The world is crap and it's going to get crappier but not everything will be bad forever.

Now, we get to the center of the issue, having explained some needed context.

Nonbinary Frisk and Chara.

I love nb Frisk and Chara.

I have not and will never make a Frisk or Chara that is anything but nb.

At one point, a certain Frisk was going to maybe use She/They (or He/They, hadn't decided yet) instead of just They when they became a parent, but I scrapped that idea long before any of this.

It is completely correct to use they/them pronouns when talking about Frisk and Chara in general. These are all that are used in the game itself.

The pertinent question though is does this mean that Frisk and Chara are canonically nonbinary, and what of people who make variants/instances that aren't nonbinary?

Thus far, most of the argument I've seen in favor of nonbinary being a forcible requirement is only slightly more solid than claiming that the Boss in the Saints Row series must be nonbinary, as an example.

Yes, it is true that in SR2 and later, one chooses the boss's sex.

However, they also choose a voice, and the voice doesn't necessarily have to match the physical sex. Trans and NB Bosses are completely plausible within the game's canon. All dialogue just refers to the Boss as They/Them, regardless of player choice, to the best of my knowledge. Or just refers to them as "The Boss". In SR:GOOH, Satan (yes, the literal Prince of Darkness, ruler of literal actual Hell) refers to The Boss as "They" so yeah. Anyways.

Honestly the strongest argument I've seen in favor of NB Frisk and Chara being canon is "Because NB people could use the representation!" Which boils down to "Because I said so!" Which boils down to "Because f*** you, that's why"

Now, I personally love this reasoning and I'm already on board, but with three quirks.

1. I can see why other people may not be so satisfied with this. 2. I cannot see this as an absolute requirement preventing any other possible interpretation of Frisk and Chara being okay. 3. I do not find this a remotely strong enough reasoning to condone attacking other people over it.

I personally headcanon NB Frisks and Charas being by far the dominant kind across the entire Undertale trunk. And I look across the internet at the many, many wonderful creative people who have instanced Frisk and Chara, and I see that this is so. And this is how it should be.

Frisk and Chara are excellent NB representation.

I quite firmly believe Tobyfox intended this to be so, and created them as such.

On a side note, I just found out the "my last wish for undertale is that when discussion of it fades it dies peacefully instead of morphing into a garbage cesspool" tweet was faked. Probably should've figured that out a long time ago, that's not quite how toby tweets.

...

Anyways,

https://twitter.com/UnderTale/status/644614840925978624

Tobyfox, the one who made Frisk and Chara so readily NB, who put so much NB representation into the game in general, did not ask for this. He did not create them to be sticks to beat others with. They were a gift of kindness. To say "Hey. Hey you. You matter and are important and are valid. Have two complex characters who have no indicated and strongly ambiguous gender, not even barriers blocking a particular interpretation."

Thats the kicker. No barriers blocking a particular interpretation. The road goes both ways.

Frisk and Chara were meant to be characters one identified with. "It's me, Chara." "It's you!"

Frisk and Chara ought to be NB, yes. Unless otherwise specified, they're NB.

Thing is, not everyone who plays Undertale is nb.

real shocker there yeah

Point is, hurting someone who's not nb for identifying with Chara or Frisk is on the same level of behavior as yelling at someone for being kin with the same character as someone else, or yelling at someone for selfshipping with the same character as someone else.

It's immature, unkind, greedy, and completely unnecessary. Even illogical.

Even if Frisk and Chara were real in their own timelines and not just pixels on a screen, there are an infinite number of instances and infinite number of variations of them.

Even if infinities don't appease one, and they demand to examine the situation proportion/representation-wise, NB Frisk and Chara dominate the multiverse.

And if that does not satisfy, then what will?

Even if the entire infinite expanse was filled solely with nb Charas and Frisks, and there was only one Frisk across the trunk who was not nb, because they were created by one author in memory of a cis person who played and loved Undertale and fought through the entire game reset after reset, in a fruitless effort to save Asriel, will you rip that from their hands, in the name of "equal representation"?

Will you be like David in the bible, who had more than anyone could ask for, and lost it all because he wanted one last thing? One more person to be theirs as well?

There is a song by Tool which is very relevant here.

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tool/rightintwo.html

"Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around? Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys, Where there's one you're bound to divide it. Right in two."

I'm sorry, but I cannot condone vitriol over this. I cannot condone such hateful attitude and behaviors.

Just like the antifa who was punched by another antifa at a protest because they judged them by mere appearance to be a fascist, hatred doesn't accomplish anything.

There are times and places when due to the actions of other people, there is no valid choice remaining but violence.

This is seen in Undertale. Even when attempting to run a True Pacifist route, one has to beat down Asgore, and/or Flowey. This was seen back in WWII. We could not allow the Axis powers to enslave the world and murder whomever they wished.

This is not the case here.

Yes, there are those who purposely seek to misgender Frisks and Charas all around. Such folks correctly are rebuffed and banished to the shadows. And people who argue that Frisk or Chara canonically have to be a boy or girl really need to find a new hobby.

Those, if anyone, are the enemy. The lost, clueless, angry, bitter enemy, who need to be talked to and brought into the fold of those who know better, in true Undertale MERCY fashion. Or, if they will not listen, to be sent away, and blocked if harassment continues.

Random creatives on the internet who create a Frisk or Chara, maybe modelled after themselves, maybe after someone else, doens't matter, anyways, who happen to create one that isn't NB are not the enemy. Some young unlearned cis 12 year old who wants to be like Frisk and thinks Frisk is just like them, or that they are Frisk, and has little involvement with NB matters, or perhaps just hasn't yet heard of or seen how well NB and Chara and Frisk go together, is not the enemy.

NB folk have a lot of very, very real enemies. We have a long way to go as a species. Please, do not make up enemies where there are none.

I ask anyone who attacks others solely for having a different idea of Chara and Frisk's gender to please reconsider.

Please, spread NB Frisks and Charas all around the net. Let them enter the hearts of everyone who can appreciate this beautiful game. Not through anger and aggression, but through love and kindness and patience.

If you cannot abide my having such a stance on this, Mel, then I suppose this is farewell if you must break off all contact. And if you must leave, you may keep that commission money, whether or not you ever finish the art.

Thank you to anyone who reads the entirety of my words.

#language warning #suicide warning #meta #discourse #general trigger warning #things get deep here and i'm sorry but i had to share how i feel

5 notes · View notes

samanthasroberts · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

0 notes

jimdsmith34 · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont.html

0 notes

adambstingus · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162688933712

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

0 notes