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#insecure
your-not-invisible-to-me · 14 hours ago
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Wax Strips (Matt Murdock x Reader)
A/N: This one shot was supposed to be a birthday present for @pastafossa, but in the time before and since their birthday I've gotten COVID, started a new job, and have been exhausted ever since. But, alas, it is finally written.
I haven't written fanfic in a long time. Please be kind.
Ship: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Summary:
Matt prides himself on his memory until he forgets to take the trash out, causing you to learn a new secret.
Word Count: 1,825
Warnings for Chapter: mentions of toxic ex, insecurities, mentions of body hair/waxing
If there was one thing Matt Murdock was, it was precise.  
He wouldn’t have survived this long without it.  After everything he had been through with the accident, after everything he’d been through with Stick to lead to him becoming the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, who would he be if he wasn’t?  
That included his memory. Especially when it came to you.  
He remembered everything about the day you had come into his life. The way he picked up your heartbeat before you entered the building where the Nelson & Murdock office lay. You were old friends with Foggy, and had just moved back to the city.  
He remembered the sound of your footsteps as they pressed against the floor, each beat making his heart pound faster as he wondered who they belonged to.  
He remembered the smell of your perfume as it blew past his nose. Cherries and blossoms, like a fresh summer day brightening up the dark in his mind.  
It was your voice, however, that would be sketched into his soul.  
“And this is Matt Murdock, the second half of this esteemed establishment of course!” Foggy’s excitement about seeing his friend could be heard a mile away.  
“Hello.” Sweet and shy. Beautiful. He knew he needed more.  
“Hello,” said Matt. His voice was out like a whisper in the wind.  
After a moment of silence that was just a moment too long, it was Foggy who groaned in annoyance.  
“I’ll give each of you the other’s number later. Now come on, Matt has work to do and we have a lunch reservation.”  
It took Matt another six months before he even dared to mention his secret, completely surprised when you didn’t turn him in, or even worse, turn and run away. It was another six months after that when you finally moved in with him.  
But living together meant knowing everything- and there was one secret he wasn’t sure he was okay with you knowing yet.  
He had thrown them away in the small trashcan he had kept in the bathroom that the two of you now shared. All of his supplies were tucked safely away.  
That’s when he felt the fingers along his back, their soft pads wrapping around his stomach. It was then he felt your lips, soft kisses across his shoulder.  
You had just gotten back from a week-long work trip and apparently weren’t too keen to see him up this early in the morning.  
“It’s too early Matt, come back to bed.”  
The kisses continued across his back before you slowly turned him around, chasing lips of his own. The way your tongue hit his lips, slowly opening him up to chase the feel of his mouth made a shiver go down his spine. He let you pull him back to bed.  
He meant to throw the trash out of the bathroom, he really did.  
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You sat at the end of Foggy’s couch, nursing the beer in your hand. You knew Foggy was trying to tell you a story, but your mind was elsewhere.  
The sound of Matt leaving the apartment had long faded away when you finally convinced yourself to leave the safety of the warm covers. You padded into the bathroom, content to wash up and relieve yourself when you saw them bunched up in the trash.  
Wax strips.  
What was Matt doing with wax strips? You didn’t use them, that was for sure. Why would Matt? The pouring of thoughts started breaking through, and suddenly all you could do was wonder what had gone on in the apartment in the week you had been gone.  
“You okay?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Considering I finished my story, and you’ve been silent, I can only assume your mind is somewhere else,” said Foggy.  
“Sorry, Fogs, I just...”  
“What is it?”  
“Is Matt cheating on me?” you asked. The words were out before you could even blink.  
“What? What in the world are you talking about?” 
“I know you heard me, Foggy.”  
“Which is why I’m concerned. Do you know how long I’ve known Matt? I’ve never seen him more in love than he is now. Why on earth would you think he’s cheating on you?” He took a sip of his beer, his eyebrows scrunched in his own confusion.  
“I found wax strips in the bathroom trash!”  
And suddenly your face was spattered with beer as the only sounds you could hear were the one of Foggy’s laughter. You wiped your face, annoyed.  
“It’s not funny, Foggy! I don’t use wax strips!” You threw a pillow at his head.  
“Okay, one, rude with the pillow. Two. I know you don’t use wax strips. I can’t believe he’s still doing this, but they’re Matt’s.”  
And that’s when he told you.  
Matt had his fair share of ladies in college, but there was one girl, even before Elektra, that had done a number of him. One look at him without a shirt was all it took for her to dump him, and why?  
Cause he had chest hair. 
And she thought it was gross.  
Ever since then, Matt Murdock had a wax strip budget. He waxed his chest regularly, and never let another girl close enough to tell.  
As Foggy finished his story, all you could think about was one thing.  
Someone had hurt the love of your life so much that he felt like he couldn’t be honest with you. He felt like he had to change himself, as if anything different would make you run away. Finding out he was Daredevil was one thing, but you were finding yourself feeling different about this.  
Someone had hurt Matt’s heart, and that wasn’t okay with you.  
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You were sitting on the couch reading a book when he came home. The clang of the roof door echoed as he ran down the stairs and into the bathroom.  
“You okay?” you called out, head not looking up from the page you were, at this point, pretending to read.  
“Needed to pee!” The sound of the toilet flushing echoed throughout the apartment as you waited. You knew him too well.  
“Fuck.”  
There it is.  
More time passed before Matt slowly emerged from the bathroom, devil suit in hand as he now wore the t-shirt and sweats he sometimes kept in the bathroom. He threw the suit into the trunk before slowly turning to you, your head still looking at the book.  
“Sweetheart?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Did you, um, did you take the trash out?”  
“Yes, when I got home tonight.” You closed the book, finally looking up at him. “Is there a problem?”  
“No, no, it’s fine. I just, um.”  
In a way, this was fun. You hadn’t seen Matt flustered like this since the day he had first asked you to dinner. That being said, he was flustered for the wrong reasons.  
“What is it, Matt?”  
“You saw-.”  
“The wax strips, yes.”  
Matt stood there looking like a deer in the headlights. His eyes moved around quickly, and you knew what he was doing. He was trying to read you. But you knew he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. He wasn’t going to find the disgust.  
“Come here? Please?” You reached your arm out to him and waited, like trying to lure an abused pet into trusting you. Hell, maybe that’s what you were doing to an extent. He eventually took your hand, sitting on the other end of the couch. Before he could say anything, you crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.  
The stiffness in his shoulders bled out in a near instant as he buried his head in your neck. You took your time, softly scratching your nails down his back as you just breathed with him.  
Eventually, you pulled back, taking his head in your hands.  
“I’m sorry, Matty.”  
“Sweetheart-”  
“No, let me finish.”  
His jaw snapped shut with an audible click.  
“I’m sorry that that stupid girl back then made you feel like this. But I’m even more sorry that I made you feel like this was something you needed to hide.”  
“You’re not, you didn’t, I... it doesn’t gross you out?” asked Matt. You could feel the worry simmer off his chest as if one wrong word from him would have you packing.  
“No, Matt, of course, it doesn’t. And even if it did, I would never ask you to shave or wax for me. Your body is natural. Chest hair is natural. You shouldn’t feel like you need to change it for anyone!”  
Matt dipped his head forward, giving you the perfect angle to place a kiss on his forehead. He let out a breath, each word shakier than the next as he spoke.  
“She told me it was gross. That just, that just looking at it made her want to vomit. I had never even given a thought to my chest hair before then. I didn’t think I had to. How does it not gross you out?”  
“Matthew Murdock, tell me, if I were to suddenly stop shaving my legs, would that gross you out? Would you tell me I needed to shave them or you’d leave me?”  
The silence spoke louder than words.  
“Exactly.”  
Matt let out a sigh, a soft thud could be heard as his back hit the couch. It wasn’t hard to understand that he still wasn’t sure.  
You took his chin in your hands, turning his head so you could give him a kiss. It still made you feel like you were floating on air the way he would automatically open himself to you in a moment like this. You pulled back gently.  
“Listen, I’m not saying you need to change anything that you don’t want to right now. It’s your body.” He shuddered as he could feel the breath of each word hit his lips. “I’m just saying that if you did want to? I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”  
You kissed him again, tracing your thumb against this jaw before breaking the kiss. He softly spoke. 
“Okay.”  
It was only a few weeks later when you walked into the bathroom as Matt was getting ready. He stood up from where he was rinsing his face and faced you, causing you to freeze in your path.  
Matt’s hairy chest.  
He’d apparently stopped waxing, cause low and behold your boyfriend stood in front of you, his hairy chest right there for you to see.  
It couldn’t have made you happier.  
“Good morning,” said Matt. The nerves could be heard as he waited for any sort of reaction from you.  
In an instant, your arms were around him. You rubbed his cheek against his chest as you buried your head into him. The little hairs tickled your face, feeling lovely as you pressed a kiss into his sternum. You looked up, placing a kiss on his chin.  
“Good morning.”  
The smile on his face was all you needed.  
A/N: Feedback/comments always appreciated! I tried proofreading this the best I could! Feel free to let me know if I missed something.
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nlaznw · 23 hours ago
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regina-phalange-ll · 17 hours ago
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I'm insecure, full of anger, and I don't trust... ever....
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getjinxedhaha · 3 days ago
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You know what? I'm 14 and I've reach a point in my life where I feel really insecure about my body. I know that I am fine, I am normal, but I don't wanna be fine or normal. I wanna be better, I wanna look better, I wanna feel better.
Therefore, I'm not gonna sit here and eat all my frustrations out while waiting for my body to magically get fit and slim and strong. I'm gonna do somethig about it. I might not have a very string will power but I can work on that!
I'll be the better version of myself, and if you feel insecure about yourself, then do what needs to be done and treat yourself. Have a selfcare day, do skincare, do exercise, eat more or less, eat healthy foods, talk to your family and friends, go out, meditate, read a book, watch a movie/series, paint something, build something, make something, cook your favourite dish. Do something you love. Take care of your self 'cause you ain't gonna live forever.
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hardlinesdaughter · 3 days ago
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The insecurities of “look older than your age” is real. It impacting all the aspects.
You insecure about your hair and the grey hair.
You insecure about your weight and the size of your body.
You insecure about the glasses you wear.
You insecure about the book you read and the language you speak.
You insecure about your styles and fashion.
You insecure about your voice.
You insecure with what you bring, your smile, your jokes.
You insecure with your surroundings with the younger looks, face, body, style, voice.
You insecure with your life.
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Oh what a life with insecure.
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sorryneverenough · 4 days ago
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honestly couldn't tell you the last time i took a picture of myself and felt pretty enough 😖
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riezkttl · 4 days ago
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i was always the person to overthink
tainted thoughts never just merely intruded my mind—it always left a black, tattooed stain
almost as if it were visible i could feel my thoughts marked onto my big, teenage-scarred forehead
as the needle scorched my forehead with every little letter, word, statement, phrase, mantra—subconsciously appearing in my mind
big, bold, italic, sans serif, arial
the entire collection of text was stamped into my mind, seeping forward to my blemished forehead
and soon enough, there would be no more headroom on my temple
after the needle made its divulgence,
i could feel the strokes of my psyche's quill—harshly making deep cuts from my forehead to my once tan cheeks.
the quill would signfy its end once i would grow to be numb to its scars
and then it would continue—the virulent quill continued its strokes down to my chin,
then my neck,
my collarbones,
my chest,
until it had sunk to the bottom of my big feet.
i was a muppet of my own gray matter—my own perception of myself took control of me like i was a marionette
which made sense—i was always known to participate in the arts, growing up
perhaps that's why i ended up painting myself a canvas.
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re-novacobra · 5 days ago
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mer-michael · 6 days ago
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August 7, 4:45 pm
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Ry was supposed to pick me up around this time so we could hang out at his place. However, he's not here yet, and so I decided to let y'all in a bit more info from where I'd left off.
So yeah and that's how I have a boyfriend now. He's nice. He would ask to hang out with me and when we do, he always hold my hand in the car while he drives. He's not very good with direction, so we often miss exits. He isn't very decisive either lol. He seems like a nice guy though, which is a first for me.
Later, when I had moved in with my dad and started work, he'd come ouck me up from my office and we'd drive around. Once he even offered to come shopping with me. We spent 4 hours in H&M and bought 4 pieces of outfit. I was pretty damn sure he probably didn't want to ever go shopping with me after that. However, he told me he loved me when he dropped me home that night. I said, love you too. I'm not sure if I felt love yet. I do like him. More so, I'm glad I found someone who makes me happy and bot insecure and upset.
We hadn't yet kissed tho, after we started dating. It was only when we drank together with Abhi, and Shris again that we did. Abhi kicked us out of his car cause we were being too touchy. So Ry and I got in his car and ended up making out in the backseat in a dead end area. However, while we're at it, Abhi came around with his car and flashed his headlights at us. Shris and him were seated in and laughing their heart out. So we ended up going to a desert somewhere around the area instead. We were parked at the side of the highway, drunk af, him all over me.
He even pushed me to drive his car back to his place, and surprisingly I did. I got a lot of heat from Chak and Par for the drunk driving tho.
It was amazing while it was, then we didn't see each other for the next 2 weeks, cause he was busy shifting to this new place in Cafe City, which is 15 min away from where I live. He's staying with 2 of his friends there.
As I write, they were supposed to have lunch, get haircuts and then pick me up around 4:30. Yet, here I am still waiting.
I hate waiting. When people don't come to see me on time, I feel unimportant to them, like whatever they're occupied with at the moment takes higher precedence over the plans they made with me. I won't lie. I am upset. I have half a heart to call Ry up and say, "Hey, it's kinda late to be out for me anyway. Maybe I'll see you another day".
That's what I'm good at right? Drawing boundaries, getting upset, closing myself off.
I have half a heart to just go to sleep so I don't ovethink this anymore. Half of my brain thinks he probably forgot about me. God. Maybe I should just go to sleep.
I have contacts in though.
Ugh, fuck this. I'm taking my contacts out and sleeping.
If I stay up ill just get more upset.
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h-nnybee · 8 days ago
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“I craved the attention. I fed off of knowing people wanted to fuck me. I thrived off of being a woman and having a woman’s body that attracted sexual attention. I just wanted the attention, not the sex. I wanted to feel attractive, sexy, beautiful; I didn’t know how to kiss and I didn’t know how to fuck but I knew how to get attention”
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