#no bc I really take years nowadays LOL

[kurtcore]

i just want to learn forever

#im gonna be so sad when i graduate :( #i mean i plan to go up to a phd lol #but im taking a year out before my masters #and ik its gonna be hard to kinda conduct my own learning #esp bc not being a student means i lose access to the library and jstor and all these academic journals and sites etc #idk why im gettjng emotional rn lmao? #just reading a book for one of my modules #(we are all completely beside ourselves by karen joy fowler) #and thinking abt how much this module has influenced my thinking #and really like. opened up a whole new avenue of thought i didnt have before #like i view almost everything i read nowadays differently bc of what this module is teaching me #in terms of theory and social hierarchy and such #idk anyways. good book i recommend

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

Please drop more Old Man lore I gotta know what else he's been up to

lol. Ok I’ll go over the stuff I’ve mentioned before as well.

This man is 83 years old (I got it wrong last time) and gives me a lift to bookbinding every other week or so. It’s an hour both ways and so lots of time for chatting. He is called Dave. 30% of old men are called Dave. I have zero fear of him ever seeing this bc I don’t think he even owns a mobile phone.

1) the first time he drove me he informed me he doesn’t like ‘this woke brigade nonsense’. He is completely unaware that I am trans and thinks I am just a cis boy who failed at puberty. I am looking forward to seeing his face when I drop that I have a boyfriend.

2) He has several hobbies including ballroom dancing, gliding, and writing poetry. He regularly tries to persuade me to take up gliding. I do not have the money to take up gliding.

3) He met his wife when they were teens and they’re still together.

4) He drives like he’s gliding. It really strange and apparently his wife hates it. As he’s approaching a roundabout he will take his foot of the accelerator several hundred meters in advance so the friction of the car on the road will do most of the deceleration for him. He has so far explained this to me 3 times.

5) He’s lived in our county (in England) his entire life.

6) We have an army firing range where he lived as a child. When the soldiers had finished shooting him and his mates would go down and collect the cases and spent bullets. They then melted them down in an old saucepan. The indents in the tops of bricks were used to pour the molten lead into to make solid blocks. These blocks were then sold to the greengrocer for a few pence. This they used to buy sweets. He described doing this at age 6.

7) He used 6 as an example of what kids should be doing instead of playing on their phones all day.

8) ‘Before phones, we were kicked out onto the street in the morning and played with whoever was about until supper’. Sir you were unsupervised children playing with lead and ammunition.

9) In the same conversation as 6 he talked about how there ‘too much health and safety nowadays’. He did not seem to see the irony.

10) Last time I saw he I mentioned I had to do some research about Americans in my county during WWII. He then proceeded to talk about his few memories of WWII (he was a toddler during it). He told me about ‘siren suits’. After much questioned he basically said it was a onesie that mothers found easily dress their toddlers in if there was an air raid. Bc you do not have time to put socks on a child during an air raid so they get dumped in the human shaped sack.

11) He also talked about how he got stuck in a blizzard one time for two days. In England. I can’t remember what year. I don’t know why he was trying to walk anywhere in the middle of a blizzard. But the first night he slept inside a snow covered haystack. The second night it was so cold that he would have probably died of frostbite/hypothermia if he did that so he walked all night instead. He dropped this casually in conversation like it was nbd.

I may update this if I remember other stuff or find out more.

[backgroundcharacterno15]

since you're bored: any hcs for Yomo?

If you're not THAT bored, then please ignore lol.

Hope you're ok!

Yayyyy our favourite silver fox

As a quick personal note, I've been showing my non-tg friend pics of tg men and Yomo os like the only she actually finds attractive (been debating showing some of her opinions on here bc I have her permission and she's hilarious)

Ok now for the hcs :)

Yomo is the type to unintentionally leave someone on delivered for a long ass time without realising. He replies in his head and just closes the message thinking he replied. Both Uta and Itori despise him for this after he left them on delivered for weeks and they sincerely thought something happened.

I'd like to think out of all the Anteiku staff, Yomo is the best when it comes to hair. Kaya is a close second but nobody can beat him in really complex intricate things. He tried passing this knowledge onto the Kirishima siblings but unfortunately neither of them have any clue what they're doing with hair.

Yono is awful with ending conversations. If the topic ends, he'll just walk away. Not even to be rude, he just didn't think to say goodbye or anything. Yoshimura tried to get this habit out of him but it's only gotten worse over the years and people are too intimidated to do anything about it nowadays.

He may be an old soul, but Yomo has a knack for video games. Particularly ones like smash bros. He holds the controller or presses the keyboard like he has no clue what he's doing he's actually got the thing down to a fault and it drives Touka insane.

Yomo in his younger years used to take a lot of comfort on rooftops. Some people would walk by and wonder why there was a teenager just stood on the roof but would quickly move on when said teenager started throwing things at them. He'd love to do it now but people get more concerned when there's like. A grown ass man in a trench coat stood on a roof looking down on people.

Uta might know exactly which of his buttons to press but he also knows Uta's. He's a lot more subtle about it but leaving Uta's studio completely reorganised whenever he comes over has become one of his favourite pastimes. That's not to say he doesn't like messing things up as well though. A knocked over book here. Coffee off the counter there. The man's practically a giant cat.

And that's all I have for now. Tysm for the ask!! I really tried to do Yomo justice bc I'm not the best of these. Doesn't stop me from loving them anyways!!! Always feel free to send more ❤❤❤

#tokyo ghoul #renji yomo #Fern's dumb hcs

[pleucas]

hello! may i ask what device are you using to draw? You mentioned using Procreate, so i think it's an iPad, but i was wondering what model it is and if you'd recommend it for painting

hey there!

thanks for sending in an ask. i’m pretty sure i have the iPad Pro 2020, 12.9in. i use a gen 2 apple pencil with it :)

and abt digital painting etc…

i’d def recommend it for digital painting! since it’s an old model you’d prob be able to get a discount for it, or find a used one in good condition 👍👍 the screen size is sometimes excessive for me, i think the 11in model or anything smaller would work fine. only concern there would be functionality and memory, bc digital painting is very storage taxing

i’ve been using this guy for four years and she’s holding up very well. i’ve noticed that the battery is less effective (draining quicker, charging slower, etc) but it hasn’t severely inebriated my painting practice

i used to have a paper feel screen protector for it, but for the past year i’ve taken it off. i think there was just an adjustment period from traditional to digital and i hated the slippery screen, but i noticed it wore down my pen nib really quickly lol. now i use a nib with a metal tip (kinda looks like a mechanical pencil tip) and the smoothness doesn’t bother me as much. just took some time getting used to

smth abt digital painting on procreate/ipad that i both hate and love is the color display. apple color display is super good, almost too good… laptop/phone screens don’t match up and i find myself editing things for posts or printing lol. important to note, apple specifically functions in their own RGB scale, so exporting files from procreate preserves that color profile. it’s not compatible with printing, sharing, or anything LOL so be careful to convert things to sRGB (learned this the very hard way…)

i do hate procreate sometimes because their DPI is just. SOOOO low. if you transform or rotate anything then it pixelates 😭 i enabled all the hacks and nothing helped. nowadays i set up my canvas to be 3k+ pixels on at least one axis and 600dpi, it’s marginally better but i def do adjust my process to avoid any transformations 😞 maybe its just particularly bad for my style bc i like my details n Things all over the place but yeaaa prolly the biggest pitfall for ipad/procreate

another note (not rlly digital art related), i pretty much just use my ipad for digital painting, gaming sometimes (i had a crazy genshin/hsr phase), note taking on pdfs whtv. it prolly averages to ~2.5 hours per day, which isn’t a lot. so idk if you plan to use an ipad more intensively (ik some pals who deck out their ipad and basically use it as a laptop), then aforementioned problems might be a much larger issue

this got suuuuper long i apologize but all in all, ipad is def good for digital painting! it’s accessible, customizable, transportable (even with my massive 13in screen LOOOOL), and worth :) but at the end of the day, it’s a tool and its utility is what you make of it. hope i could help!

#casasks

[mueritos]

Seeing like, young transmasc peeps talk about hrt and then getting upset they get masc characteristics other than height and voice deep is uhh genuinely concerning and doesn't make me feel good.

Like when I did T right off the bat I knew I'd end up with lots of body hair and a bit of pudge BC I take after my dad a lot genetically, but I still had a hard time adjusting BC people were giving me crap for getting body hair like??? Which didn't help when adjusting at all. I can say though that I am much happier with myself now than when I was not on T (except for my back hair lol).

I'd have to agree, and it's a large part of why I made the tenderizing post a few months ago. I have to say, for a generation that loves to prove how much they're on their phone and have access to information, they have no media/critical thinking skills or even think to research on their own. Not to "back in my days", but back literally the last 10 years, youtube/forums/articles/blogs were HUGE for knowing about HRT and trans stuff. Nowadays, people only want bite sized information transmitted to them through instagram infographics or tiktok videos.

And I have to say that I've only seen white people act so ignorant toward transitioning and HRT. I have not seen BIPOC trans people who are just so ignorant to their own genetics or about HRT in general. There's also just a huge problem within the community to uphold and love white standards of beauty, on top of the fatphobia, ableism, anti-blackness, racism, etc and etc. The hatred of body hair, of smells, of bodies in general is a Western concept; most cultures outside the US are like yea we all have bodies and it's pretty much accepted that our bodies are weird and fun. Does that mean social purity doesn't exist outside the US? No, but there really is something insidious about the way the colonial mindset in regards to bodies being othered...especially when your body is ALREADY othered...like why would u internalize that onto yourself and others...i dont fucking know its like insanely exhausting at this point

the best we can do is just keep campaigning for media literacy/critical thought, share accessible information, and share as much knowledge as possible, because there is already a LOT out there

#muertoresponds #hrt

[lipglossanon]

i have to be honest i miss the hybrid leon fics like UR THE OG... and i think we can all agree that YOU created dogman leon, like u definitely had lot of influence with the fics written nowadays about leon

anyway, i actually realized u never had a fic where the reader as the hybrid, thoughts on that? (ok ngl i meant what do u think abt it bc i wanted u to write one mb)

Hiya anon!! 👋

Aww I’m glad you like my hybrid fics so much!! Not to toot my own horn, but I will take credit for thinking up dogman Leon (I’m sure I’m not but hey let me live my dreams 🤣).

At least at the time the only thing happening was puppy Leon fics and they felt not good enough for what I wanted to read so yeah dogman Leon happened lmao

I’m sure I’ve inspired some folks out there which I’m more than happy to! I want everyone to write what they want to write and ignore the asshat haters 😆

And I’ve been meaning to since last year 😔 but then everyone jumped on the hype train of a hybrid reader and I felt put off so I just never wrote one lol. If I did I’d be doing something different than dog or cat, just cause I wanna branch out and feel like there’s already a lot of good hybrid reader fics like that out there.

Anywho, thanks for the compliment anon!! 🥰 I really appreciate it!! 💜

#ask box #anon #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers #hybrid!reader

[moonlightcookie]

a love letter to seamoon

disclaimer this will get Very long. majority will be under the cut. this will be very personal

i didn't grow up seeing lgbt media, only glimpses of gay fanart and fanfiction, created by fans. openly gay or trans characters in media didn't really exist when i was a child, and when they were, it was all homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, meant to get a laugh out of the cishet audience.

i grew up in a society where being gay (or trans), was a bad, shameful thing to be. the very first time i came out to anyone, it was my best friend in 7th grade. i texted her, crying bc i was so ashamed of myself, and afraid of her reaction. i texted her, bc i couldn't bear to say it aloud. she was the only one i had told, for years.

It's terrifying to even think of outing yourself when your peers were like hungry wolves, taking any opportunity to find anything wrong with you. i was already fat, ugly, a teacher's pet, etc. I generally kept to myself, and other kids didn't like that. especially since i was poor, and would often show up to school in old, torn clothes every day. nooo way i felt safe enough to come out to anyone else, until a few years later in high school (which was still super scary btw!!)

imagine how i felt as a teenager, seeing Steven Universe on air, especially after the Ruby + Sapphire reveal. a kid's cartoon with largely female/nonbinary characters AND canon lesbians? with onscreen lesbian kisses? on the MOUTH?? nowadays it might seem silly to praise SU for its lgbt representation, when now there's a lot more (by comparison) of openly lgbt media. but i feel like people, esp young people who grew up alongside SU and other openly lgbt media, don't realize just how revolutionary (and recent!!) SU was for its time. SU had actually been cancelled shortly after the Rupphire wedding, for obvious reason. before then, people would jump thru hoops to say that Ruby and Sapphire were sisters, or just "very good friends" . other countries would censor their relationship or not air it at all. sadly, i still see the same happen to other sapphic characters/relationships, including seamoon.

All of this is to say, i just want to let out how important Sea Fairy and Moonlight, and their relationship, are to me.

I first learned about Cookie Run 6-7 years ago when kinning CR characters was a big thing on tumblr lol. one of my mutuals would post about it, and the characters i saw looked cute, so i went to the wiki to look at some more. immediately i was drawn to Moonlight Cookie, and getting her on the official CR personality quiz didnt help either lol

then when i saw Sea Fairy's page, and her mentioning her deep love of the moon, i immediately knew she was really talking about Moonlight, and that seamoon was intended to be canon. this was all before the relationship charts, mind you. all we had were Sea Fairy's inital LINE/Kakao release event, and both Sea Fairy's and Moonlight’s loading lines to go off of

even back then, people were upset at the possibility of them being in love, headcanoning them as sisters or just "best friends", others would say Sea Fairy was talking about the literal moon, or even the moon that Moonlight rides on...

frankly, it was obvious to I and many other sapphics that seamoon was canon. the moon affecting the sea's tide IRL, Sea Fairy being the legendary released after Moonlight, with her entire story up to that point was of a sea fairy who was cursed to be frozen upon trying to reach the moon she so loved. Both their lines referencing longing + loneliness, the City of Wizards and the Tower of Frozen Waves's proximity... it all added up.

finally, on November 14th 2019, Devsisters released the "I Want You Every Day" MV. where we finally get real confirmation of Sea Fairy and Moonlight's relationship, and especially Moonlight's reciprocation of Sea Fairy's feelings, with this legendary moment:

(gifs from @/kumiihocookie) to finally have confirmation- there is no sentence in the English language that could accurately describe my feelings. Elation, jubilation, vindication, ecstatic, the list goes on. literally where else am i supposed to find a character who's just like me, including being canonically sapphic?! to have a character i see so much of myself in, be confirmed to be in love and in a relationship with another woman, one who loves her so much as to literally go to the ends of the Earth(bread) for, i cannot find the words although LDRs arent for me, they are the reality for many lesbians, including my own at one point. seeing these two women continue to love each other unconditionally despite their distance, despite the very real reasons they cannot physically be together, brings me hope as a lesbian.

i hope that i too, can find a love that will always look to the sky, thinking of me. a love that will love me unconditionally, the way Sea Fairy loves Moonlight. a love that can bring me peace and comfort, the way that Moonlight does for Sea Fairy.

#moon.txt #seamoon #sorry theres SO MUCH more i could talk about but. Here

[strqyr]

[Regarding your post about being burnt out from rwby.]

Unfortunately it has been a common thing for years now. I share your sentiments which is why I only go to the people I follow and not venturing in the tags. I think that the arguments escalated when the "Open Letter" was shared? Not to say that it's wrong for people to be mad or upset about things in the show since it happens from time to time, but it really escalated from there.

May I suggest that you take a break from time to time? It helps. I took a 6 month break from RWBY, like not interacting with the fanbase or not opening my tumblr, it helped me to not be too engrossed with the arguments/hate that the fndm has. I hope that you're mental health will be stable, don't hesitate to ask for help from the people you trust.

yeah, i've been around since the beginning (unfortunately lol) so negativity and dealing with it isn't really new to me. it's just... feels like it's changed? like, before it was pretty much directed at the show itself, which is fine, whatever, i watched steven universe and played battleborn, nothing can surprise me anymore... but nowadays, with there being no new content, it's like lot of it is directed at fan creations? which is weird bc no matter which place people draw their inspiration, be it love or disappointment, you'd think people would welcome it; the worst thing that can happen to any show is that no one talks about it, and any fan creation is a chance that someone who hadn't heard about the show before is now interested to check it out on their own.

but yeah, i'll probably keep some kind of a break. focus on my art and posting that here, if nothing else. not like i will be missing much since i'm not planning on giving rt anymore of my money and i somewhat doubt the new content is going to find its way to my go-to sites lol

mentally i'm doing mostly fine, just a bit tired, and that has most to do with real life, current events stuff than any fandom stuff; the latter is just unfortunate cherry on the top :'D

#anon #ask.strqyr

[golbrocklovely]

I don’t have a tik tok. What are they saying about our boys 🙄

omg thank you so much for sending in an ask about my post bc… i need to VENT lol

first and foremost, what aren't they saying about the boys on tiktok??? that's the real question.

imma just list the shit i've been either told or saw myself said about snc (but mostly colby).

sam should sue colby for the killing best friend prank (this one was brought to my attention by @xplrvibes like yesterday lol)

colby was molested

colby was sexually assaulted

elton made colby show his self harm scars on camera

colby has a bad relationship with his brother

sam cried being sexualized too much

the fans broke shea and colby up

colby has hated elton from the beginning

snc were talking about elton on the that one video years back (the one where they did the lie detector test on awesomenesstv)

not a SINGLE one of these are true, btw. that's the insane part to me. like…. every single one of these is a lie that i have no clue how they got started or who said them first.

and here, for anyone's benefit (in case you're curious) i will disprove all of these in one go.

sam was IN on the prank and has openly said that himself in the past

didn't happen/colby has never said that this has happened

same thing (granted if you want to make an argument that some fans have almost done this, that's a different story. but that's not what the fans on tiktok are talking about when they mention this)

colby has never self harmed. colby has never had depression, anxiety/has never been diagnosis with any mental illness. he even outright said in a video, EXPOSING THE TRUTH ABOUT COLBY BROCK, when asked if he was emo "depending on your definition of emo, if you say emo is somebody that hurts themselves - no. i'm not emo in that way." not to mention that if this is something that did happen, how come there was not a WORD about it until 2022??? the last time snc collabed with elton was in 2019. there is no WAY this shit could have happened, only to be talked about now with no proof. ALSO colby literally stated multiple times, back on metalife and even in a livestream in 2020/21, that he has never suffered from a mental illness, which is why he doesn't feel comfortable giving advice on it.

literally…. how would anyone know this in the first place? colby doesn't really talk about his family. but if you want to get technical, for a while in the back of his videos in 2020/21, you could see on his record player his brother's bands record. plus he literally went and saw him run a marathon in 2022 so… his relationship with him is fine.

that's literally not a thing at all lmao

shea and colby never dated, as much as shea would like you to believe otherwise. and if the fans are talking about their friendship… they are two grown adults. no one can make them do anything they don't want to do.

snc lived with elton for a full year, and continued to collab with him until 2019. elton didn't even become a hater until late 2020/early 21. so… no. colby didn't hate elton from the beginning just bc he has resting bitch face in some of the videos. if you want to make an argument that elton took some of his pranks too far, sure. but that's not what this is about.

this one is just ppl taking an old clip and trying to make it make sense to nowadays, so i'll give some slack. but again, this wasn't about elton. it was about aaron when they had beef with him for like a week and a half in 2019 lol

there is probably TONS of other shit said on there that i don't remember off the top of my head. but the fact that i've seen tons of these comments and tiktoks saying this shit is true is bonkers to me. idk who is starting these rumors, but like… dear lord above stop.

like i'm literally gonna have to make a snc tiktok account just to dispel rumors bc it annoys me to no end how these fans believe this stuff with literally NO PROOF.

#ask #personal #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #elton castee

[jiwonbe]

hello friends it is i, returning with an attempt at a second muse after i accidentally lost one kdjhfjkdhskhf. as always, please like this to plot as i ramble about him and add in some badly thought out wc LOL

ANYWAYS INTRODUCING ... ! yoon jiwon, born feb 3

(tw for parental + other death)

he was born in seoul but both of his parents died in a car accident on new year's while getting him a surprise

he was 6

he never learned what that surprise was

since his parents were both only children and he had no extended family that could be found/were willing to take him in, he was put into an orphanage with a ton of other children

contrary to popular belief, he didn't hate his time there. he still got to attend school and make friends with other kids

ofc there was the bullying that he had to deal with at school for being parentless but he had long accepted that as a fact of life and usually just ignored anything said like that

after being struck by tragedy so early on in his life, he sort of was a recluse and only stayed friends with kids who were his friends before the accident since he continued attending the same school after that

he was really close to a few boys at school who were good friends of his, and he had thought that they would finish elementary school and move onto middle school together

but one of his friends ended up passing away tragically, being in the wrong place at the wrong time

being subjected to so many losses in a row really took a toll on him and he became more closed off and only spoke when spoken to

during these times, he turned to music since it was something that couldn't be stolen from him. his christmas present that he had been given (before the fateful new year's day) was an ipod and he still has it despite it not really working well anymore but he can't bring himself to throw it out

when he was in middle school, he was (surprise!) adopted by a japanese/korean couple who had been scouting out a few different orphanages and had quote unquote 'thought he was perfect' etc etc he moves to japan before his first year of high school (in the spring so he has a few months to adjust and learn japanese)

he has a relatively good time in japan, though the language barrier was difficult and he literally has to learn as much japanese as possible before he goes to school in the fall

he ends up about a year behind (bc of language barrier issues) but still graduates high school (a year late) with good grades

it's then that he decides that maybe it's time to return to seoul so, instead of going to university right away, he gets a job and he works hard for a year and a half since his parents supported him in his return to korea and said they would match what he saved as long as he promised to call and visit often

so he moved back to seoul in the fall of 2023 (around chuseok) thinking that that would be a good time to come since everyone would be busy with festivities so he could settle in and wander around the neighbourhood

he gets a decent apartment to himself, his parents helping him with the deposit and he has a little veranda and even a living room despite living on his own

and he picks up guitar lessons now

his mother tongue feels a bit odd in his mouth nowadays, but his (adoptive) parents spoke both languages (his adoptive mother is korean) so he had enough practice though the last 5 years of his life was spent mostly speaking japanese but he's slowly getting used to it again

OKAY IF U READ ALL OF THAT I APPLAUD YOU (claps)

some wanted plots (even tho i'm bad at this and we should brainstorm if you want something Better Than This)

friends! ofc, he's mostly a loner but some general acquaintances would be nice

childhood friends??? maybe people who knew him before/during the Accident and wonder where he had disappeared to and why he had suddenly Reappeared like a ghost LMAO

also friends from japan! he lived in tokyo and lived in the akabane area

he works in a used bookstore in the sinchon area and can be found with his nose in a book most of the time though he Will chat with you if you ask him a question first

he doesn't seem like the type but he's somewhat up to date with kpop songs and will hum them under his breath sometimes while working if a song comes on shuffle

he has a youtube channel where he uploads covers but his face usually isn't in them, usually wearing a hat with a mask or the camera is fully angled away from him so maybe if you hear him singing one day and are Intrigued bc he sounds like a youtuber u know

also i like the idea of one of his audios accidentally going viral on tiktok but he has no idea bc he doesn't use tiktok LMAO

pls brainstorm with me i have no brain juice rn

#( ooc. )

[odetoviscera]

Liveblogging Mission: Impossible, I Guess

alright let’s start with FOR THE RECORD this is ENTIRELY the fault of @leupagus, who always does this to me, i swear to god i have been onboarded to more media by this villain (affectionate)’s posts than any other, so goddamnit it here we go MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE I GUESS

I GOT A PARAMOUNT+ SUBSCRIPTION FOR THIS AND BY GOD I’M GONNA BLOG ABOUT IT

warning: liveblogging below.

FIRST MOVIE. 1996. I AM SIX YEARS OLD. I DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM CONTEMPORANEOUSLY FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. i have a vague memory of watching it at some point in my teens, but remember almost nothing except a vague impression of like. A Claustrophobic Hallway. might not be from this movie. i’ll call it out if it’s real!

OH my god the paramount military drum roll is alternating left and right channel in my headphones. brain is flustered. inauspicious beginning.

(dead prostitute even less auspicious beginning.)

(undead prostitute/agent?)

ah I see they are spying on Russian Rocky Balboa and the (un)dead prostitute is a plant.

OH Tom Cruise is the cleaner, I was wondering why he wasn’t in the room with all the surveillance equipment. hang on, did MI INVENT the Suspiciously Lifelike Plastic Mask Gag? also yes that was the least horrific screengrab i could manage.

so undead prostitute and Mr. Cruise clearly have Chemistry. I do sort of wish undead prostitute’s first lines had not been in a ridiculous baby voice lol.

OPENING CREDITS. god, that was the logo? very b-average middle school powerpoint presentation. wait, tom cruise was a producer on this? on the FIRST one? damn, this really is the man’s anchor franchise.

these opening credits have TV Show vibes-- you know, “here’s a bunch of split-second clips of future episodes” except all for one movie. which is... oh right, movies used to be under 2 hours.

is this how we did movies on flights back in the day? a stewardess walks around with a tray of cassettes like she’s shilling the in-flight snacks??? nowadays to pull this stunt you’d have to have a coded conversation with a chatbot and convince it you know which squares contain stop signs before it would deliver your self-destructing message.

also the contrasting formality of codewords and passphrases and top-secret clearances and shit (displayed where any passing passenger could see it walking to the bathroom MY GUY WHERE IS YOUR OPSEC)-- paired with the Voice On The Radio calling mr. phelps JIM several times is kind of wild. everything is simultaneously deadly serious national security threat and “two dads discussing their respective divorces at a barbeque”. also i can’t tell them apart yet and their hair is too similar, which of these lady agents is undead prostitute and is it claire, jim’s wife (which, btw, seems like a conflict of interest) bc if so the divorce thing may be more literal, tom “ethan hunt” cruise was getting pretty soft-boy handsy with her face

mid-briefing YEP UNDEAD PROSTITUTE IS THE WIFE, also in person it’s very clear how much younger she is than jim, wonder how that relationship came about. also also SEEDS OF SUSPICION sown about why jim is always swanning off on “recruiting assignments” and the team doesn’t know where he is during these times. also maybe i’m paranoid I DID READ THE POSTS @leupagus

"if they're exposed, they'll be executed." bit of a buzzkill there jim

so much intra-team flirting! you’d think that would be counter-regulations but i guess jim is married to one of his operatives so the rules must be pretty lax lol

okay no mr. hacker/the team q making ethan a stick of EXPLOSIVE GUM when ethan has been chewing gum this ENTIRE set of scenes during the planning of the op-- that is a piss-take, lol. that is a loving piss-take. this is “here you dumb bastard i made something in your colour” energy. JUST DON’T CHEW IT. i’m love them. i know they die and i will be upset about it.

the first-person perspective is fascinating film-making. (obviously i, obsessive video game nerd, am making immediate parallels to video games that won’t come out for another half decade or so, lol.) this feels so disjointed and claustrophobic, though-- it’s a narrower FOV than you usually see in a first-person perspective, and we don’t have any of his peripheral vision. being trapped in ethan’s head (or more correctly, i suppose, in the camera on his glasses) seeing only what’s in his field of vision for these scenes is making me overanalyze everything lol. i feel like half the guests are staring at him.

oop, meanwhile jack is fighting elevators. i worry for my boy. i have known him five minutes. i should not have learned he had a name other than “mr. hacker” now i’m invested.

dslkfhas;ldkfhas;lkh stop roasting him ethan he’s in an elevator shaft! on a 1996 laptop!

elevator/spy tetris

oh my god this mark had a FLOPPY DISK on his person. the 90s were insane.

The Flirting Continues

ah, the classic Lover’s Embrace Distraction. kind of interesting to see this done with sarah, who is NOT ethan's flirtatious love interest (that's claire; sarah has something maybe going somewhere someday with jack, hypothetically) honestly it kind of reinforces that this is very much just an "it's part of my day job" move for them, i like it. and they both move into it very fluidly, without discussion or hesitation-- it's a standard play.

oh noooo jack. “i don’t have control” says jim, man who just had control. HMM I HAVE DOUBTS YOU ASSHOLE. :(((

…hang on, is the drunk laughing couple the pair i clocked staring at ethan earlier in the night or am i hallucinating bc i can’t tell actors apart

ooooh, ethan’s going off book. admittedly the book is bad but still, bad form.

“they’re covering this frequency, cut all radio communication” mmkay except what’s your evidence of that, bc we’ve seen nothing to indicate that’s the case-- jack was killed where he was supposed to be during the whole op, and you could have been spotted and shadowed from the safehouse. none of that had to be gleaned from radio communications

Convenient Les Miz River Death. also the angle on that gun ethan saw in his little camera watch was pretty sus, but he's under a lot of stress, so i won't hold it against him for not noticing.

ethan, babe, how you gonna call an abort right after ignoring an abort, of course she’s not listening to you. (however, heartbreaking: the tiny little “god!” when he takes off running back to sarah. guy is having the worst night of his life and it’s just getting started.)

WELL THERE GOES CLAIRE AND HANNAH

sarah's still following the mark so i assume she was too far away to hear that. and i KNEW there was something shifty with the drunk couple

damn the mark is getting got too. aaaand finally sarah. full house.

EVERYBODY got fucked on this op

kdfjal;skdhf;lakh god idk if i’m even supposed to trust the nice calm voice on the phone (Kittridge) like my dude ethan is focused on relaying the vital intel (little bit of shouting but the circumstances are, admittedly, DIRE AS FUCK) and you’re using your soothing kindergarten voice.

“one hour, i’ll be there myself” BITCH? HOW? YES ETHAN EXACTLY THE FUCK, WHY IS THIS GUY IN PRAGUE??? SUSPICIONS RAISED AGAIN

aquarium diner is kind of out of place/distinctive here. like, cool location, but damn, not what i’d call inconspicuous. 

i think the shock is setting in, ethan’s walking like he’s half-dead already and so far the worst that’s happened to him physically is Running A Lot.

oooh, ethan spotted something. OH OKAY the drunk pair and the embassy pair were two differently suspicious pairs lol.

extreme dutch angle on kittridge. spooky boy. not the first dutch angle we've seen so far, even in this scene, but definitely the one i've noticed the most.

oof. whole team died for Nothing. ethan’s resistance to aborting the mission was AT LEAST partly predicated on the threat that had been presented-- literally dozens, if not hundreds, of lives directly in the crosshairs if that list got out. and it’s fucking. Nothing. and as far as ethan can possibly know at this point, the only reason the WHOLE team got wiped out is that he ignored the abort. sarah, at least, he could have hypothetically saved by keeping her with him instead of sending her after the mark.

“dying slowly in america, after all, can be a very expensive proposition.” BITCH. MURDER HIM ETHAN. SET THIS WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE. anyway, this was in 1996, nice to see capitalism hasn’t improved at all in nearly thirty years. doing great. oh the explosive gum, YES BABE, jack’s last gift to you! blow a bitch up!

“kittridge, you’ve never seen me very upset” ooooh the VENOM. ethan has been kind of a kitten so far-- soft boy, very few stunts actually! kind of a jokes boy! he’s a PERFORMANCE ARTIST, his role has been Wear The Mask and play a specific part. he is, in leverage terms, the SOPHIE, not the eliot. we have not actually seen a SINGLE instance of real violence from him yet-- even taking out Russian Rocky Balboa was with a drugged drink that sarah delivered.

alright admittedly blowing up the aquarium was probably the better move but i would have liked to see kittridge get it in the face

also holy FUCK ethan can run

now here's a logistical question: does this count as an Ethan Stunt? bc so far he hasn't done any of the characteristic No One Else Would Do This shit that is famously his hallmark. i don't think this does count, honestly-- it's fairly low stakes by the standards of an Ethan Stunt, and although obviously the fish are gonna be upset about it, the overall risk to ethan himself is not high. worst case scenario if he couldn't outrun the flood was getting arrested. i'm gonna call this Typical Spy Nonsense unless someone can convince me otherwise.

listen i know all this counter-espionage shit like crunching the lightbulb to make a broken glass noise trap and unscrewing the hall light is shit he was taught in Spy School however i would like to forward that my IMMEDIATE thought whenever he does something clever is just OH MY BOY IS SO SMART

i have trauma-bonded with ethan hunt. it took exactly half an hour. goddamn it, i get it now @leupagus

And Now He Has A Gun, let’s see if he uses it.

okay the emergency money not being in the safehouse is another dick move by jim.

job 314… job 3:14?

OH MY GOD IT IS

seriously is this what the internet was like in 1996. i was an aol kid, i missed the usenet era, but i also don’t trust hollywood to know what the internet was like lol

MY BOY IS SO SMART

although doing all this in what must be the compromised safe house maybe is less so

here begin the PTSD Nightmares

oh shit! claire’s not dead! alright maybe the gun wasn’t such a great addition to the inventory lol although i’ll given ethan points for what looks, to my very untrained eyes, like a pretty solid firing posture. maybe got his elbows locked a little but he’s Stressed.

the Aggressively Sexual Frisking i could do without. very 90s though lol, and i will forgive ethan’s behaviour bc he’s having a Very bad night and claire’s shock isn’t helping with his justifiable paranoia. STILL. BE BETTER.

claire still using that baby voice. ma’am please speak with your whole chest, you sound like a toddler, i can’t take you seriously.

Spy Shenanigans ahead. back in ethan’s limited POV for a bit! i like the framing on the pickup car responding to the match.

ooh, max is a maxine.

dutch angle on max. they like that technique a lot. and a very tight framing. 

fkjha;djfh;lksh MA’AM. you haven’t even CLEANED THE BLOOD OFF, you’re gonna gunk up your disk reader

imf sure is efficient-- okay no i love the cleaning lady just “fuck it, i keep vacuuming”

Fucking Kittridge. this man has the most smarmy affect upon this earth outside of an actual british butler in a murder mystery. also what looks like an extremely fake tan. hate his guts. wish him death.

ethan has been 100% Manic Grin at max since the mask came off and i am not sure how much of that is a front and how much is ethan running at 100% capacity on 10% fuel. let this man have a nap.

lol max likes him. he’s Charmed her. “aggressive, but playful” is her type lol.

god are claire and ethan STILL staying in the safehouse? i mean I GUESS at this point imf must not know the location but this still seems dicey.

i get the impression claire actually loved jim, which makes this whole setup Wild. The Chemistry is there with her and ethan, but clearly nothing has actually come of it at this point, and if/when it does, it will be totally justifiable bc she is, to her knowledge, A WIDOW. really played yourself there, jimbo.

oooh, they’re gonna hook up with other disavowed ex-spies. …however, i will observe that it seems ULTRA FUCKING STUPID to keep a list of the people you’ve explicitly decided to cut ties with??? isn’t the point of disavowing/burning an agent that they can’t be legally tied to your organization? imf competency varying wildly lol

damn, they’re getting fucking leon on the team lol. hang on i have to google something-- yes, leon: the professional came out two years before mission impossible, this joke works.

ethan as mission planner is Much ballsier than he was as a point man/Face lol

oh my god luther’s Hacker Names lol

luther the fact that you know this much about the system already suggests you’ve thought about it lol

ethan: i’m hiring you for an impossible job the team: no such thing ethan:  Let Me Explain

luther looks like his hopes and dreams are crashing down around his ears during this security breakdown lol

Theme Music!

we love an Emergency Services Scam. big bulky costume and everybody’s in too much of a panic to think too clearly.

oop, krieger’s a loose cannon, lol. (leon!) guess ethan is still hoping to get his job back, doesn’t want to Kill Coworkers. understandable. holding out hope for an exception being made for kittridge.

i wondered if this vent crawl might count as the first proper Ethan Stunt, but krieger’s doing it with him, so i think it’s still on the side of “a comparatively sane operative would do this”.

sidebar, tom cruise in this glasses headset getup is giving me farscape john crichton vibes, which is baffling given john crichton does not wear glasses.

oh we TRAP the laser instead of turning it off. Clever.

krieger sneeze into your ELBOW my guy.

and this is the iconic Hanging From The Ceiling Scene! oh holy shit i didn’t realize krieger was there to HOLD ETHAN’S BODY WEIGHT, damn.

excellent treatment of the tension with the silent shot and only luther’s whispered warnings. ethan is remaining REMARKABLY phlegmatic.

holy shit this guy would be the most annoying officemate. i mean i know he’s been poisoned but still. get thee to a cubicle nowhere near me.

that flip! my boy is BALLETIC

OOOOH NO WHY ARE THERE MICE IN THE VENTS OF THIS SUPER SECURE AGENCY. MOUSE THEY GOT LASERS HERE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

df;lakddf;laklsh;lk aaaand the slip

excellent handling of the tension again

legit how did ethan get his hand into position for this catch with so little space

KRIEGER YOU DUMB BITCH SECURE YOUR KNIFE

and now there actually is an evacuation! lol. back to the safehouse.

krieger is gonna be a problem if you don’t communicate, ethan. ah, yes, and here we see him proving me right. we know a bastard when we see one.

MY BOY. IS SO. SMART.

i’ll be surprised if we keep working with krieger lol he doesn’t seem like he takes an insult well

OH HO. DRAKE HOTEL IN THE GIDEON BIBLE. the penny drops.

oh, i think ethan’s suspicious of claire again. jim’s wife, after all.

oop! kiss! but is it legit or is it to throw him off his game?

man, no one play poker with ethan hunt.

“i’m not gonna let this get out in the open.” luther for best boy

oh my god kittridge you fuckwit

seriously ethan do a murder you’ve earned it

holy shit is that jim in the phone booth next to ethan???

IT IS

blaming kittridge. couldn’t throw a nicer asshole under the bus, lol

oh excellent touch with ethan envisioning it with the knowledge that it’s actually jim. doesn’t fall for it for a second, but plays along, and lets the audience in on it. we get to see exactly how smart ethan is, without a doubt, but jim doesn’t get clued in. smart, smart movie.

oh shit! krieger was the assassin on the op! i missed that completely

and now ethan's debating claire’s involvement with himself.

my poor boy looks like he’s gonna have a breakdown right here at the table

“you got a lousy marriage and 62 grand a year” first of all, bitch, your wife is extravagantly attractive and doesn’t seem to be an idiot or an asshole, your marriage is probably fine; second of all, in the year of any lord 2023, NEVERMIND in 1996 money, i would kill for 62 grand a year. shut the fuck up.

okay, jim keeping the secret from claire PROBABLY clears her

love ethan continuing to write to max with bible verses bc she thought it was fun the first time lol

tasteful fade to black lol

honestly why are they bothering with having the shade pulled down to hide jim’s face lol

dlfkahsd;lkfhas;lk max enjoys ethan SO MUCH lol. i am undecided on whether she wants him carnally but i suspect she wouldn’t complain if he suggested it

oh no! overly helpful train attendant gave the game away!

oooh, max is playing both sides. unsurprising lol

i’m here for claire’s Itty Bitty Skirt.

oh shit! she DOES know about jim! damn it claire, i believed in you! fortunately ethan is more suspicious than me lol

“having tasted the goods” fucking classy, jim

eyyyy! foiled by the camera glasses! can’t believe i have to be team kittridge. offensive.

well, there goes claire. and ethan still isn’t quite at full Action Man, so he gets the shit knocked out of him.

okay i think ethan climbing the back of a bullet train with no assistive devices is his actual first Ethan Stunt. this is where this shit starts to get beyond “spy shenanigans” and into “i have no time to plan and no one else to rely on, so my improvisation is the WILDEST SHIT YOU’VE EVER IMAGINED”

fkha;ldkfha;lskhdl;kh he never did actually use that gun outside of pointing it at claire Once or perform any other acts of violence, so ethan’s first confirmed attempted murder is tying a helicopter to a train to fuck kreiger. of course.

the gum again! ethan did jack give you a whole PACK of that. also i’d like to point out that, while the circumstances are certainly warranting it-- he hasn’t got his hands free, he’s holding on to a helicopter-- when jack first presents ethan with the explosive gum, ethan handles it like it is a Very Delicate Grenade, and now he’s pulling it out of the packaging with his teeth. we are definitely past ethan caring much about his personal safety.

ethan legit came like. two inches from death.

wonder if luther’s gonna get reinstated for his part in this stunt

sounds like yes!

aaaand the chatbot stewardess is back and not taking no for an answer. guess ethan doesn't get to retire after all.

-----

ALRIGHT. LIVEBLOG COMPLETE. Claustrophobic Hallway never appeared, although there was a generally claustrophobic feeling to the whole film due to the very tight shots sometimes. i was haunted by the vague sense that i should know more about this movie than i did, lol.

in summary: ethan hunt is such a good boy and he is having SUCH A BAD TIME. literally at the end of his harrowing revenge/name-clearing adventure he just gets on a plane to england-- maybe back to those london apartments he liked? seems like it would have bad memories now, which has some interesting implications for how ethan deals with his traumas, namely “go roll around in them for a while and see if they start to feel comfortable instead of horrifying”. he’s so disillusioned with the whole pack of them that the tells luther he can’t imagine why he’d be doing it if he went back, and promises to remember luther as “disreputable”.

something i noticed while going back to get some screengrabs to illustrate a few of these points-- in the team briefing, the whole team is never framed together around the table. in fact, i believe this is the only time we’ll even see them all in the same frame. in the opening shots, sarah is on the other side of the room, pulling the shade down. claire is sitting next to ethan, and ALWAYS finds a way to be very close to ethan outside of the actual operations, which leads me to wonder how much of the Chemistry™ was being manufactured even this early on (and, by extension, earlier than the film shows us.) also poor hannah gets almost no job on this op and almost no characterization in this movie. they could have cut her out entirely and nothing would have been lost.

also in retrospect there were more clues about claire’s culpability-- she tells ethan later (during the Aggressively Sexual Frisking) that she walked away when the abort was called, but we SAW HER sitting in the car, watching ethan speedwalk past her with a frown, after she said she had already complied with that order. ethan says this when he's holding her at gunpoint, and she never actually produces a compelling explanation, she just kind of hustles us all past that by getting teary-eyed! excellent manipulation! she already knew the plan at that point, and presumably if ethan had complied with the command to abort the mission, he would have been somewhere else that claire and jim had predicted he’d be for their frame job to work. possibly claire’s Wiles would have come into things at some point there, instead of the 4am Frisk that ended up happening.

also also not to be "ethan hunt is feminine-coded" on main, but ethan hunt has quite a few Cinematically Feminine traits, especially in this action spy genre. he is the subject of violence, not the performer of it. he runs AWAY from confrontations instead of engaging them. his most successful grifts are Conversations and Disguises, and he mostly uses those tools to de-escalate. claire tells him how many bullets he has for his TWO GUNS at one point, and he never fires a single one. he is blind-folded, taken to the villain's lair, charms the villain with his good looks and witty banter. his one moment of really Macho Aggression is in a panic after a PTSD nightmare, is ultimately defused, and never recurs. will be interested to see how this develops in further films.

10/10, if ethan hunt was a dog he would be a border collie.

#will tag all of these with #ODE TO IMPOSSIBLE #so that my unfortunate followers can blacklist this saga if they so desire lol #mission: impossible

[tokillamockingbird427]

me again :D (this is to answer ur post cause i couldnt resist and wanted to answer ur question(s) :))

i do write actually ! privately on google docs about some of my personal ocs and once regarding logan & rorke. buuuuut i deleted it cause i felt like my writing wasn’t enough :|. i will take ur advice though! cause seriously i rlly do need to fuck around and find out with all these scenarios i have in my head. (i have MORE. but seriously ive gotten praised wayy too much regarding my writing so maybe ill start publishing works on ao3/tumblr…maayybee, im tempted.)

im also tempted to write a whole fic about that ask, bc DAMN. it was evil as shit of me but i am PROUD. sigh there was too many fluffy/cracky asks so i had to do it. (IM SORRY LMAOOO.) but now that u mention it that was kinda well plotted..huh.

but omg that bonus(?) though…i 100% see it happening cause of the relationship mama walker & logan had. (they were probably so close…he was definitely a mamas boy.) hesh seeing his little brother many years after the war with his hair past his shoulders would bring tears to his eyes, as they say hair holds memories.

i also have a couple things i forgot to add as i forgot to mention prev ask(yea…theres still angst.)

-when elias was killed, logan & hesh deff thought how he was probably with their mother now, even though how heartbreaking it sounds and is to lose the last parent in their lives.

-ever since mama walkers death, elias turns very protective(if not more) over the boys, or really anyone, when their sick in fear they have the terminal illness mama walker had.

— 🎧 anon

Oh I feel that lol, ngl even nowadays I still get nervous about posting my writing, but the thing is it makes me happy to make this stuff. My motivation to post is "My friends will love this." but my motivation to write is "I will love this." so don't feel too pressured to post via some internet guy lol.

Make sure to let me know if you write and post! Anything in general but specifically if you write based off the Mrs. Walker angst ask. I will scream with joy. (And then probably cry cus the angst.)

Had to get some angst in to offset all the Good Dad Elias vibes SOB. Gotta keep the mix even.

Mama's boy Logan destroys me. It's so evil but so good. Like hot chip. Owie... but tasty. (Random song rec: Mama's Boy by Dominic Fike. I can't take creds for connecting the song to Logan first, that goes to a moot of mine I don't know the tumblr of, sad face, but they're literally a genius.)

MORE ANGST, OUGH. They're torn up over Elias's death but they know how much he missed their mom and find solace in the thought that they're reunited. They also know they can protect each other and that their parents are both watching over them. Elias treating every cold and fever veryyyyy seriously to the point that others think it almost comically unnecessary... until the connection is made to his wife. WAHHHHHHH!!

#angst #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #elias walker #logan walker #hesh walker #task force stalker aka the ghosts #beloved anon #🎧 anon

[keithwinters]

prompt from here! I just did... all of them bc I can't help myself tucking this under a cut to save space

What memory would your OC rather just forget? one that I can't share yet in case it comes up, but it was when he was a young teen. he still has nightmares over it. he wants to forget the sight, but also feels like maybe he should be haunted by it forever

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them? he likes math a lot... as well as sewing, cooking, little crafts of assorted kinds (you have to be so talented to make things so small!! he could never!!) he also really likes singing but is Too Shy

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw? he holds himself to an incredibly unreasonable standard and is very harsh with himself when he inevitably falls short. he knows the virtues of love but also recognizes he doesn't love himself. it's something he's been circling around working on but makes very little progress on

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn? it depends on the situation! most times nowadays he'll fight. he's scared but that's because there's a threat and he needs to protect his loved ones. he would also fight much earlier on in life but he managed to shift that to freezing/fawning as he got older. less of a problem (in his eyes) that way

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want? he will break himself but (for the post part) never others, no matter how much he wants something

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass? well he's killed people so. maybe concerningly less than he would have hoped?? something he's definitely been thinking about

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them? he's much more of a softie carebear than I initially intended! he was always a doting/overprotective older brother, but as we played it just felt right to have him be more openly loving/emotional. it's meant to tie in with his efforts to be better at communicating, plus the curse of thinking of 1000 things you wanted to say to someone you can't ever see again also the wrestling stuff came a little later on and I love it so so much lol

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder? I would say so, yeah :> hee hoo ok but on Earth? ...maybe also yes. he does take after his mom a lot

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC? too many. god. here's some bangers I don't think I've shared yet: "Oh devil, I made my own hell; And deep inside I'm sure I got here all by myself" - Oh Devil, Electric Guest "Til I'm bloody and bruised, till I've broken my bones; Til I won't be abused; Til I'm laughing alone" - I'm Gonna Win, Rob Cantor "I take your hand, now you'll never be lonely; Not when I'm home, sweet home" Mother, I'm Here, Darren Korb and OFC "Heartaches by the number, trouble by the score; Everyday you love me less, each day I love you more." Heartaches by the Number, Guy Mitchell

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC? I don't know enough about it to theorycraft or anything, but I think he would thrive in Monster Hunter... wrastling big beasties and cooking forever

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it? His fists!! and yes!! he's also used a hunting rifle, but that was years ago and he did not care for it at all. he very specifically refuses to use weapons for fighting because of one line of thought that might maybe come up in-game so. I shant say it.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways? god. yes. aside from his self-sabotage in general, he physically picks at himself when nervous and has the bad habit of leaving wounds unattended/aggravating them bc pain is the best teacher/reminder and he needs to Be Better

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along? I might bully him. sorry bb

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters? ok this is a BIG THING for him. and I feel silly saying it plain like this but- he wants to be seen as himself! not someone's idea of him, or as someone else, just. him. but if you asked him this question, he'd say he wants to be seen as helpful. useful. he wouldn't say, but think- to be seen as kind. warm. but again, useful. loveable.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who? nope! in an effort to not just leave it at that tho- when I make characters I focus on a couple specific traits/ features and then work outwards from there, so I have troubles finding faceclaims that have the same characteristics

What is your OC's pain tolerance like? pretty good! he's naturally pretty durable but it's also something he's put effort into maybe a weird amount of effort but like. it's all a part of being a better fighter, right? and! not worrying people!

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise? ripping him away from his family :> but honestly maybe that's not the worst, he's had a lot of good things come of that after all...maybe it'd be the other thing

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal? Keith can try as hard as he can to be as cold and detached and intimidating as he may (occasionally) want, but he's cursed to be an affectionate puppy in the form of a man

How does your OC behave when enraged? seething. violent. but it takes so so so much to get him to "enraged" and he'd much rather keep it that way

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest? with relationships, he's moreso clingy than jealous. if he's with someone, he trusts them full-stop. he wants attention, sure, but he doesn't view it as someone else getting attention he wants or should be for him. it's just a matter of if he's getting any or not. it's another facet of his tendency to think of himself as the problem in most things. similarly, while it might occasionally crop up (he's not immune to jealousy after all), it's sort of rare for him to be jealous of someone's status or stuff or... anything

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it? he's allergic to dogs and had to be dragged away from them many many times as a kid. he's also been in therapy for years (with good progress!) for PTSD, survivor's guilt, anxiety, and depression

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be? good! maybe neutral good? he'll go against law and order if he thinks it will ultimately help others

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express? his anger. depending on his age it either took him over or he swallowed it completely. It's ok for others to be angry, to feel those feelings and deal with them... but never him. it's something to swallow, to break down and sand off

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions? if he never got isekai'd, he would...probably end up taking over the family store as intended and just existing. maybe he'd succeed in doing so and coast, maybe he'd have to sell it in the end and get a different job. but he was not thriving and had no idea of how to start doing so, and his family is not quite aware of the level he was at with that (although Sam got close). it's weird to say and incredibly hard for him to think about but this really was overall a positive change in his life.

What is your favorite thing about your OC? his whore eyelashes and big eyebrows

(I had to start a new block bc this was too long oh god oh jesus) how emotional he is. again, I didn't super intend for that to be the case, but I guess after playing a very deliberately UNemotive character for so long it was meant to be lol I love drawing and imagining all the dumbass faces he pulls!! he's my little guy!!!

#this is so long oh god #but I love these and it's been too long since I've filled one out!!! #THANK U FOR SHARING YES U♥ #I'm sure there's stuff I missed or goofed but I have to ship it now or I never will

[camestela]

a small life update just because I feel like doing one and take in the good things that are happening

So, coming back to my country has been harsh! but it’s ok, and I’m ok, I know I will move out again sometime soon when the whole recession thing stops being so bad! meanwhile I’m taking the time to learn more things and advance my career.

First, I’ve been working really hard on my illustration, I’ve done quite a few projects these past three months and I updated my portfolio, created more relevant pieces and in the style I’m working on. I’ve sent it to many agents and gotten a lot of replies both good and a LOT of rejections but that’s just how these things go, and I feel proud to be doing stuff instead of just fantasizing about it. More news on this soon. *I also want to start my online shop this year, wish me luck.

Second, I’ve decided that I also want to become a tattoo artist. It’s something I like a lot and I’ve the habilities. It will also allow me interact more with people and explore different artistic styles. I’ve been practicing a lot and next week I will receive the few things I need to be able to start tattooing real people. yay me. *when this becomes something i’m good at i’d love to start doing guest spots in other countries, that’d be so fun.

Third, I’m learning to drive, finally. I suck at it but I’m determined.

Fourth, I’m trying not to live in the past. It is a bit hard because I had so much fun last year being in another country but I’m also learning to appreaciate what it’s gone and how to keep looking into the future.

Fift, I’m trying to cultivate relationships. I’ve spent more time with my brother, doing projects together, enjoying the company of my dog, and since I’ve felt a bit isolated living in the countryside and working from home I think I want to start interacting with more people online, how do you guys do it nowadays? do you talk via discord or something? I’m bad at this things now.

Sixth and final for now, I’ve been thinking about what I want for the future. I want a house and a partner, i think i’d like to get married someday (shocking i know bc i used to be so against it but also i’d only marry a woman i think lol) I want to travel, have pets and someday if money allows i’d like to have a kid. 

yeah, things are going good, and i’m working hard and i will be ok. I hope i can move again and meet nice people i just want to love and live haha how cheesy. 

#words #personal #the day i stop being an optimist and stop trying to live life to the fullest is the day i die #im such a sentimental girl but i believe in happiness that is as deep as sadness

[djservo]

what are your top 10 perfumes?

it's hard to pin down a top 10 bc a big part of my enjoyment of fragrance nowadays comes from the evolution of a scent + discovery of new scents and the history behind them blah blah blah so my preferences at any given moment feel like a sliding scale but OK i've broken it down by the top 4 being my nostalgic favorites/frags that got me into frags in the first place + the bottom 6 being fragrances I find myself craving/returning to most often lately

Harajuku Lovers Baby — str8 up baby powder but as the gwen stefani stan I was as a kid I really thought I was hot shit whenever I wore it (I still have my bottle/a lil juice left 4 the memz hehe)

Elizabeth & James Nirvana Bourbon — powdery but in a more matured boozy wood way, kinda like a natural progression from Baby. I don't really do signature scents anymore but this was The One thru my first couple years of college ugh one of my denim jackets permanently smells like this bc of how often I doused myself in it

Replica By The Fireplace — probably the most basic out of the Replica line but I was big into the woody vanilla booze vibe in college + my friend told me I smelt like church whenever I wore it which I thought was iconique!! I'd go to sephora like once a week after work to get a sample bc I was too cheap to buy a full bottle LOL

Kiehls Original Musk — soapy clean musk with a hint of pit (as in armpit, of course) like a smexy 70s Robert Redford vibe... more mature than I could handle at the time of buying (I must've been around 19, more drawn to the trendy woods as u can tell from above) but I've grown to appreciate it a lot and in retrospect this was probably the scent to get me interested in older/classic scents

Fracas de Robert Piguet — worn by Courtney Love for decades so I always feel cool when I wear it LOL delicate tuberose + lush greens with a little spice, like frolicking in a meadow and lighting a cigarette after

Diptyque Orphéon — freshly powdered face + cocktails in a smoky jazz lounge (it's legit based on a jazz club in Paris from the 60s) so I feel très chic when I wear this one, very divorced + sexy + glamorous hollywood starlet

D.S. & Durga Bowmakers — if you've ever be in a symphonic band or orchestra (or seen one live) then this will hit the SPOT ugh it smells exactly like a theater/auditorium while the band is warming up, that thick + rich resinous woodiness... takes me right back to band camp

Penhaligon's Juniper Sling — another boozy moment but more bubbly + eccentric + refreshing with its citrusy juniper notes. shitty staying power so totally not worth the price but I cannot stop sniffing myself when I wear this it perks me right tf up

Akro Night — I've posted about this when I was first sampling it + it's become a staple nighttime scent since then ugh so alluring!! one of the reviews (vaguely) described it like when you go to a club wearing a nice perfume and leave it with accumulated sweat/funk smells from the bodies you were dancing with + that's sooo real like subtle BO vibes with the cumin note but in a sexy fun way.. to me @ least <3 I like to wear this when I watch a fun 70s movie or vintage erotica to put me in the mood 🪩

Etat Libre D'Orange The Ghost In The Shell — in the same vein of Glossier You or Le Labo Another 13 with the cashmere-like ambroxan your skin but better vibe but way cooler and with much more to decipher.. a little cold + metallic + sterile but also milky + fresh + fruity and generally just has more of a journey throughout its wear which I really love

#typed this while in a meeting 4give me for typos + nonsense #asks #f

[chemicalbrew]

saw you're tags from the post where i bag on arise but like. first things first i will say play it if you want! im not controlling anybody do what u want but i wouldnt reccomend buying and playing it bc i cant rationalize any price for it. abyss is a much better and more solid game.

my only praise of the game is that it looks pretty but in the way that a lot of games nowadays look with perfect clean maps and environments.

otherwise? arise is lacking severely to me. i'd describe the main story as "baby's first analysis on racism." it isnt a good analysis of racist societies at all and there are a few games where racism is a topic that comes up (like symphonia) and while it isnt handled the best in other tales games its somehow. worse in arise. the story arc for one guy in the party really is "you were basically a slave owner and part of this cycle of abuse bc u were forced to be but you didnt torture anyone so who cares!" and while he does end up abandoning that system and joining the party to turn on it...the flippancy about it gets me. the story also doesnt help itself by being very impersonal with all of the antagonists, which is a big thing in abyss and other tales that i enjoyed that is completely gone here.

the main party is also more disjointed feeling than in other tales games where a big part of going through the games is seeing the party get closer as time goes on and in arise they do kind of just get boiled down to a basic found family dynamic in the game itself. one character, kisara (the resident *sexy woman*) is essentially boiled down to being a mother and serving the entire party (and it doesnt help considering she is dahnan, which is the ensalved race in the game). there are some little moments of growth between the party members i enjoy but beside these little things it really is just a whatever cast to me.

tl;dr arise just feels like a mess that wants you to take it seriously when it is the weakest tales game ive played.

oh thank you for the thoughtful answer! I think I remember hearing somewhat similar sentiments when it first came out (looks pretty but the plot/characters are a clusterfuck, which for a Tales game is doubly worrying imo) but I was like 'maybe I'll look into it anyway' and, um. Years have passed and I'm chilling with Abyss instead

so seeing those tags just kinda confirmed my suspicions about Arise not really being worthwhile (since pretty much no one plays these games just for the battle system lol), and this ask was really helpful to receive!

It's such a shame when games just kinda. Actively go nowhere like that and set a bad precedent with only tackling issues on a surface level and falling into gross stereotypes

#tales #zero.txt #again i appreciate this ty 😭 #getting this posted instead of private if you don't mind #long post