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#now do I think Doc enjoys having people to hunt down and destroy? yes
salemoleander · 1 year
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Oh my g-d. Doc is going to fucking kill them, and it's entirely justified
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Fuck around and find out, I guess
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rayne-storm · 3 years
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AUgust 5 - Science Fiction
Cooking With Crewmates - Hannigram & Among Us
This is some violent self-indulgent garbage, and also by far the longest thing I've written for AUgust so far, and I've had to edit this intro to fit the Tumbl's block limit. Contains violence and gore inherent in the fandoms. Possibly extraordinarily ooc. No beta, we die like men.
William Graham had not always wanted to do space things. In fact, if you had asked him ten years earlier if he would ever want to do anything on a space station, he would have flipped you off and run the other direction. He hated being cramped up. He hated not having control of his immediate situation. He would never describe himself as "works well with others" in any capacity.
Yet there he was.
In a fucking tin can in space. With a horrible murderer loose.
Fuck.
And all he could do was grumble as he went about his day, desperately trying to repair a rapidly failing piece of garbage, trying to avoid air vents and being followed anywhere.
His antisocial tendencies had never come so in handy.
There was one member of the team, however, that seemed determined to undermine his self-imposed Exile. The ship's cook and doctor (everyone tried to do double-duty where they could) Hannibal Lecter seemed hellbent on following him everywhere, and it would have been cute if it weren't so frustrating.
The other man wore bright red, with (of all damn things) a chef's hat on top of his helmet. He stood out, in every way possible. Admittedly, Will's little clip-on dog ears weren't the most subtle of accessories, but at least he was a solid color and could blend into shadows if he so wished. Like a ninja. Not like a fire engine.
But it was sweet, kind of, how insistent the older man was that he be with Will so often. He seemed to get his tasks done quickly, and his cooking really was delicious. It was enough, almost, to make Will forget there was a gruesome murderer on the loose.
Almost.
The first time he saw a dead body was back on Earth. He had, for a time, worked with the FBI's Behavior Analysis Unit. He had a sort of "superpower" to be able to get into people's heads, hyper-empathy they called it. He could still remember that first case. It didn't haunt him like it used to, but it was there, the first in a file-folder in his mind that he kept locked tight until he had space to process the things inside.
The things he had seen on this ship were leagues beyond the worst cases on Earth. These bodies weren't just dismembered, they were ripped apart, like they had encountered some kind of… well, creature. Whatever had done the things he was seeing wasn't human. It simply wasn't possible.
He had to reevaluate a lot of personal beliefs very quickly.
The crew eventually came to the conclusion that whatever was doing this to their members was hiding Among Them. They decided on the moniker of "imposter" for the thing.
Now to figure out who it was.
Will had his suspicions. Of everyone, unfortunately. But suspicion kept him alive on Earth, it would work alright here too. Especially as there were fewer and fewer people left.
Will imagined how it would go, if he were face to face with whatever had been destroying their Crewmates. He never came out alive. Best-case was he would airlock it and shoot it into space. Like they had done to several people already (he had refused to participate).
Curiously, Hannibal had also refused to vote, or participate in the discussion. Will wondered if it had anything to do with the Hippocratic Oath, or just personal morals. The strange thing was that the doctor didn't get nearly as much protest against his refusal to participate in these death sentences as Will did. Something about the man radiated this calm, cool authority that Will guessed people just accepted.
Whatever the case, he supposed it didn't hurt that the man was seemingly always on his side.
"They condemn you because they do not understand," Doctor Lecter had murmured to him one evening as another crewmate was launched into the cold void of space.
"Don't understand what?"
"You feel their pain as if you were the one out there, freezing and choking."
Will looked down, shaking his head. He knew that in the empty vacuum of space, ship walls between them, he couldn't really hear the screams, but he felt his ears ring all the same.
"Who are we to play God?"
"I think God must be laughing at this. He kills all the time, and are we not created in His image?"
Will felt a shudder ripple through him. Whether fear or something else entirely he wasn't certain.
He knew he was in trouble, falling way too hard for this mysterious doctor chef. It was ridiculous, frankly, to have even remotely romantic feelings for a fire-hydrant in a chef's hat, but here he was. He wondered numbly if Hannibal had any sort of reciprocity, feeling something for the little edgelord wolf boy Will was dressed up as.
He didn't have to wonder long.
He was in his private quarters after a long day of doing medical scans and fixing wires (reminding him so much of his former hobby of tying his own fly-fishing lures), and was halfway out of his suit when there was a knock at the door.
He debated putting the bulky gear back on, but chose against it, instead walking to the door and opening the little peephole.
It was… an extremely handsome man, in a tweed suit of all things. Will realized immediately who it was when he saw the gorgeous dish of food the man was carrying.
"Doctor Lecter?"
"Please, just Hannibal. We are friends, are we not?"
Will couldn't help but smile. Yes, somehow, despite everything, they were friends. Possibly more?
Will opened the door, stepping back, and he realized that they had never actually seen each other before, without the privacy afforded to them by their suits.
Hannibal was so much more than a red space man with (again) a comical hat. He was slender, and older than Will had initially anticipated. His hair was combed back neatly, and his gorgeous cheekbones looked like they could cut glass. His eyes were just as lovely, and Will realized he was staring only as he became aware Hannibal was as well.
Will wondered what the other man thought of him beneath the wolf ears. He knew he was scruffy and unkempt, far more so now in front of this immaculately groomed man. But Hannibal was looking at him like he was something… beautiful. He felt himself blushing.
Hannibal caught himself and smiled, glancing down as he stepped inside the room. He set the food down on the little table in the room, and Will shut the door behind him.
Hannibal took some cutlery from an inside jacket pocket, setting it down on either side of the dish.
"I didn't see you at dinner tonight, and I thought it might be kind to bring you some food myself."
Will smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Thank you. That is very considerate. It looks and smells amazing."
He sat carefully, wary that he still had his suspenders that attached his suit bottoms to him. He was rather mismatched. But Hannibal didn't seem to care.
He sniffed the meal experimentally, it was some type of meats and noodles in a thick dark sauce.
"What culinary delight have you served me tonight, doc- Hannibal?"
Will caught the little grin that the other man tried to stifle at the mention of his name.
"Teriyaki udon. With blackened chicken."
Will nodded.
"Will you partake as well, or..?"
"Oh, no, I ate earlier. Please, feel free."
Will nodded again, taking a cautious bite.
It was amazing, like everything the man cooked.
He couldn't suppress a small groan of delight, and he didn't mess the slight shiver that seemed to run down Hannibal's body. Interesting…
He devoured the meal, though he did try to at least remember his table manners. He felt embarrassed, honestly, but Hannibal looked so damn happy.
"I am so glad you like it," Hannibal murmured with a smile, packing the container and cutlery away.
"And, I must say, you are… exquisite. If we survive this ordeal, would… could…" he paused, glancing down, and Will felt jitters.
"I would, yes," he answered.
Hannibal blushed - blushed! - and smiled.
"That… makes me extraordinarily happy. Thank you, Will, I… I am so glad I have met you."
Will smiled and nodded. "I am too."
Hannibal ducked his head and waved as he stepped back out into the ship.
Will couldn't help smiling as he watched the man walk away.
--
This became their routine. A break from the monotony of every day, both the anxiety and the boredom. Will felt himself growing ever more attached to his companion, and found that he no longer disliked the doctor's seeming constant desire to be nearby as Will worked. In fact, Will would sometimes speed through his other tasks just to be able to meet Hannibal in Medbay as Hannibal finished his work.
Their evenings were spent together usually with Will eating something amazing Hannibal prepared, the other abstaining due to having eaten already. That was fine. They were together, talking about everything and nothing, confiding secrets. Will told Hannibal about his panic attacks, about how he couldn't work on Earth at the BAU because he felt himself becoming some kind of monster.
Hannibal in turn revealed his own tragic childhood, and confided that the Imposter (and subsequent hunts and ejection) made him uneasy enough to keep a knife on his personal at all times. His left rear pocket, he said, "in case something happens."
They tried to avoid that sort of talk, though. It just led to somber silences.
Mostly, Will enjoyed talking about folklore and food. Two universals of humanity. Hannibal had rich tapestries of experience in both, and Will was content to listen to his companion speak for hours on end, well into the night.
Will wondered, sometimes, when Hannibal walked back to his own quarters, what would happen if Will asked him to stay. To just… be with him, through the night. Nothing more. Nothing less.
He wondered what would happen if they survived this. What would happen if it came down to just themselves and the monster hiding in the ship.
Will knew, without a doubt now, he would die for Hannibal.
It didn't matter if that wasn't reciprocal.
--
One evening, they were down to six, and Will and Hannibal were having dinner (Will was eating, Hannibal talking). There was a knock at the door and Hannibal frowned as he stood to see who it was. He didn't make it to the door when it was forced open and their three remaining Crewmates were there, running in and seizing Will.
"It's you!" Pink screamed.
Will looked around, confused and terrified as hands grabbed at him, dragging him literally kicking and screaming from his own room.
"What?! What's- hey! Stop-!"
The crew didn't pause as they dragged him out, one staying by to keep Hannibal from following.
"We always knew you were a creepy little freak, but damn, Graham, I can't believe we've been so blind."
"It's not me! What the fuck?!"
"It has to be you. You and the Doc were the only two missing when we found the body, and we all know it's not him."
Will tried to process everything happening. He counted, there were only three people surrounding him and Hannibal, who was still shouting (he had never seen the man so upset, so animated), and it clicked.
It was Hannibal.
All this time, the man he was falling for was the monster he was afraid of.
He felt like the realization should have hit harder, should have hurt more, but…
Well it didn't really change much, now.
Hannibal was still the only one who had shown him a shred of decency. Hannibal listened to him, consoled him, cooked for him… cared for him.
Will felt everything move in slow motion. He met Hannibal's eyes. He saw the fear there, of what he couldn't be certain.
He felt a wave of calm come over him. All of this proof, and the crew still had not put it together (he, at least, had been blinded by affection and antisocial tendencies). Hannibal would almost certainly win this morbid game.
He didn't expect Hannibal to go full monster.
His jaw unhinged like a snake's, and his nails became claws, and there was just a pile of meat where the crewman holding him back once had been.
Everything stopped. The pair holding him let go and Will fell to the floor with a sharp cry, the air leaving his lungs all at once. He tried to catch his breath as Hannibal turned to the Crewmates. Will saw how terribly inhuman he seemed, even without the snake-jaw and claws, in the cold light in his eyes, the hard line of his mouth, the fury that Will could tell was bubbling just beneath the surface.
"You!!"
Will wheezed a chuckle. It was so obvious now to him. How Hannibal had almost always just "eaten," how he had so much knowledge about so many things, how he seemed to finish his tasks so quickly. He had attached himself to Will, who protested the ejections, who never noticed whether Hannibal could complete their tasks or not…
Will had to wonder if any of it was real. If he fell in love with a monster incapable of returning his feelings. It had felt real, had felt mutual, he knew he had seen affection in the man's eyes as they talked.
Maybe Hannibal could fake it. But it had been real enough for Will, realer than the simpering cowards who were rapidly backing away, cowering behind Will. As he got to his feet, one shoved him back down, towards Hannibal. Hannibal glanced down at him, worry briefly passing through his gaze as he continued to walk towards the pair of fools.
Will panted, slowly working his way back up to his feet, leaning against a wall. Hannibal stalked towards his prey, and Will was surprised at his own feelings of vicious satisfaction.
They deserved this. They deserved to suffer for all the lives they'd taken in their squabbling.
Hannibal reached towards the pair, a thick black… something… stretching from his hand and wrapping it around the pink crewmate. It squeezed, and with a sickening crunch, that crewmate was no more.
Will staggered towards the action, and saw the remaining figure pulling their gun up, aiming at Hannibal, still busy mutilating the pink body.
Time slowed down for Will. He ran, as fast as he could, reaching for Hannibal.
Back right pocket.
He felt the knife in Hannibal's pocket, gripping it as he felt himself fall, then what his brain could only describe as a chair leg punching through his chest. He gripped the knife as he lay on the ground, and while Hannibal had his attention torn between the crewmate and himself, Will threw the knife.
He hoped that his sense of aim was at least passible and as he felt himself starting to black out, all he could think was that he had been right.
He would die for Hannibal.
--
He hadn't expected to wake up, later. He gasped and sat up, hands reaching blindly, frantically, into nothing. A burst of pain in his chest forced him back down, and he nearly blacked out again.
He looked around, body slick with sweat as he panicked, looking around to figure out where he was, mind trying to figure out what had happened.
He felt a gentle pressure by his feet, and a warm hand pressed to his forehead.
"Welcome back, Will."
That was Hannibal's voice. Quiet, sure. Perhaps it was his own confusion, but Will could have sworn there was something… different. Perhaps a bit of a warble that inferred something beyond the man's usual brand of steady confidence.
It didn't matter.
"I… you… you're okay?"
Hannibal came into view, the same composed man in the tweed suit.
"I am. You very nearly weren't, my silly, foolish, brace Will…" he murmured, sitting down by Will's side.
Will looked down, his chest was covered in bandages, a couple little tubes running from them. So he really had been shot.
"Why did you do that? Why did you put yourself in the way?" Hannibal sounded nearly… angry.
"Because I couldn't lose you," Will croaked.
Hannibal's hand stroked Will's hair, soothing, tender, nothing one might expect from a creature that had done so much damage.
"Even though you knew what I was?"
"You were the lesser evil in my eyes."
"And what now? Will you try to flee as soon as you are well? Will you kill me yourself?"
Will chuckled softly, leaning into the warm hand.
"Seems a bit pointless. I'd starve to death without your cooking."
Hannibal managed a smile, though it was very nearly a grimace, and Will realized with some amusement (and some sadness) that there were tears in the man's eyes.
"Hey now, I'm the one with a hole in my body, no crying," Will chided gently, his own hand reaching out to wipe the tears away.
"I am sorry. I never intended to… get so attached."
Will hummed in agreement. He hadn't either. But that's what they got for being lonely fools, he supposed.
"Just to clarify," Will started, carefully adjusting, "did you feed me my Crewmates?"
That would be… problematic, to say the least, but he would understand.
"I… yes."
"To get rid of evidence?"
"Partially. Partially to… initiate you."
Into what? Was there some kind of monster cult? Hannibal saw his confusion and continued.
"I… wondered, perhaps, if you would… ever consider becoming… more. Than you are. Becoming the purest form of yourself."
"Becoming like you, you mean," Will interpreted, and Hannibal nodded.
"I confess, it gave me great excitement to think about."
Will could imagine. Hannibal must have been even more alone than Will felt, with no one truly understanding anything about him.
"Why not finish it?"
"I would need your consent. I could, in theory, turn you, but…"
Hannibal looked down.
"I would rather you kill me than resent me for turning you against your will. I knew you would likely starve yourself in protest. I… I could not watch you do that."
It was the most vulnerable Will thought he had ever seen Hannibal. There was something deeply endearing about it.
"Well, now what, then? Will you turn me now? If I consent?"
Hannibal looked up at him, tears even greater than they had been.
"You would want to become such a thing?"
"I think I would. If it means I can be with you. If you'll have me."
Will scarcely had time to blink when Hannibal's lips were on his own, and those tender arms were cradling him to the monstrous man's chest.
For such a powerful creature, Hannibal seemed so delicate and fragile now. Will carefully returned the embrace, mewling into the kiss.
He'd never felt like this before. He felt… known. Perceived, all that he was. He loved it.
"Are there many like us?" He murmured as Hannibal pulled away to rest their foreheads together.
"No, there is no one like us."
Will chuckled softly.
"You know what I mean."
"No, I can't say I do, please enlighten me."
"Now you're teasing me."
"I would never," Hannibal purred softly.
"Right, right. I mean, are there more, I guess, imposters? What are we called?"
"Probably. I never cared to know any before. All I need, all I desire, is here, with you."
Will laughed, shaking his head.
"You're lucky you're so charming."
"I am. I'm lucky you appreciate my special brand of charm."
Will hummed in agreement, leaning up for another kiss. He could easily see himself getting addicted to this. It seemed Hannibal could to, because the man was straddling his hips.
"Easy, now, I'm grievously injured, remember? You have to play nice with me," Will teased.
"Of course, of course. Just getting comfortable" Hannibal retorted.
"That so? Well alright, I suppose I can't be mad at that, then."
Hannibal smiled, genuinely, pressing gentle kisses to Will's forehead.
"Don't worry. I'm a patient man. I've waited this long for you, I can manage a few more weeks. Just be patient with me as well. This… is all new."
Will nodded, yawning and adjusting himself again. He felt exhaustion tug at his mind, and though he tried, he couldn't resist just resting his eyes.
"It's alright, my Will. Sleep. You have time to Become something amazing."
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whetstonefires · 4 years
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god i am OBSESSED with the idea of future sephiroth confronting gillian. does he already know she committed suicide when confronted by angeal and tries to plan around it or does he just. notice theres poison in her tea and. set it on fire or something. i have to admit i really enjoy sephiroths opinion on gillian in angels.
OH WOW this is a lot. Lol okay, I’m gonna put all these asks in one rather than stringing them out.
I’m not sure Sephiroth knows any details about what happened with Gillian, but he read the report where Zack presumably wrote down something about how Angeal seemed to have killed his own mom, and he got a sort of follow-up impression later from Angeal’s ghost on the general subject of suicide, so he knows what she did, very generally, and when, and what the fallout was.
I think this version of him is even more annoyed with her than he is in Angels in fact, because he knows for a fact her choice heavily influenced Angeal’s, so he’s going to tear into her about responsibility and abandonment and influence and stuff.
XD Probably going to get his own issues all over that one, too. Sephiroth...doesn’t compartmentalize well outside of his basic system of ‘all the feelings go in this box which I intend to leave closed and then someday die,’ which as we all know didn’t work out.
(I feel bad about Gillian in Angels, I totally had an opportunity to unfridge her and stuck her right back in the coldbox because I didn’t want to deal with her impact on the narrative beyond the established impact of fucking Angeal up worse, which I wanted to explore.)
ALSO elmyra is more put together right? like shes a functioning person? because i feel like her perspective on sephiroth and aerith stubbornly Not Acknowledging whatever the hell is going on would be really funny. at this rate im going to have to go hunt down playthroughs of ffvii and crisis core so i can write fanfic. i mean technically i could just write fanfic but it feels weird writing fic without having interacted with the source material at all 
Elmyra is a functioning adult yes but she is also very long in the habit of not prying into Aerith’s Weird. I honestly cannot guess what she’d do in that situation, we don’t see enough of her! I’d have to make it up.
...I feel like it’s likely being forcibly recontextualized would be likely to break her and Aerith out of their pattern of pretending nothing’s going on, since presumably Elmyra wasn’t in the habit of telling people a fraction as much about Aerith’s backstory as she unloads onto the party after her kid gets kidnapped by Turks.
And lmao I mean yes you can write fic based entirely on fic, this is a fandom where it’s pretty common, even. Personally I couldn’t bear to, I just didn’t feel I had a sufficient grasp. And I was right! The fandom incarnations are lacking. Once I had played through the OG I had so much more to say, and vastly more nuanced grasp of character.
Personally also I cannot endure game playthroughs? I get awful brain static trying. The pacing. The experience of being confronted with a UI that says I’m in control, but not having it. I die. But for people who enjoy them they should work fine!
Also last I checked the original FFVII was available on Steam for like $20? You could probably play it.
ALSO ALSO because my brain is a disaster of random connections i keep picturing an au of angels wherein both angeal and sephiroth have traveled back in time but they dont realize immediately that the other one is also back in time. because! i dont have any context or anything but if they ended up having the whole what would you want me to do if you went insane and tried to destroy the world conversation it would be hilarious. sephiroth, having every single mental breakdown imaginable: uh 
Hahaha AU crossing over one of my time travel AUs with the AU of my AU you previously proposed! Hmmmm yeah. I feel like they’d notice something was off before too long? But they might get to a version of the ‘what would you want me to do’ conversation lmao.
I think this Sephiroth would honestly give very intense and detailed instructions on how to shut him down and only then be like ‘why do you ask? what do you know.’
...if Angeal explained his timeline all the way up through Advent Children and DoC,  this version of Sephiroth would not take it well. 😞
also now im back around to thinking about angels and zack was first class when genesis started degrading so that's probably a ways off right? unless they find a way to avoid it entirely but. at least he'll be a bit less desperate when he defects? if he defects i guess but he's too dramatic to not defect. whats he supposed to do let angeal be the dramatic one?? also ALSO if angeal and sephiroth both traveled back in time i think that would make genesis the most stable member of their group. wild.
He was Second Class, actually! He’d been recommended for promotion but it hadn’t gone through. They ultimately moved him up to First for killing Angeal, if you can believe it. Ghoulish, huh?
Well, technically they mostly promoted him for killing Genesis, who was much more of a threat. But Genesis faked his death and Angeal didn’t, and it wasn’t not for killing Angeal. It was all the same mission. I have no idea how Zack copes so well.
But yeah, the officially released timeline for CC claims Angeal &co are only about four years older than Zack, but the timeframes presented in the actual games suggest Sephiroth should have died around age 25, which is far enough from 21 to make a difference, and fits their character designs better. So I’m treating them as being about eight years older, with Genesis as the oldest, so Angeal has about three and a half years to work with before degradation originally kicked in.
But the trigger for that wasn’t necessarily a certain amount of time, so he can’t count on that schedule.
What Angeal does have is a Lifestream-side perspective on how Genesis got healed the first time around, so he knows to focus on the spiritual end of things over Science, which he knows failed to help, and this ups his odds of doing something useful in a useful amount of time considerably.
XD Too dramatic not to defect. Well.
also back to the time travel au what would tseng even do about sephiroth kidnapping aerith?? like he was the main one watching her right?? hes just hanging out and then sephiroth??? oh now hes got aerith??? what is he doing??? whats tseng even supposed to do in that situation
I don’t believe they have the manpower to keep up a constant guard? Tseng certainly does do other things, they just. Check in on her sometimes.
I don’t think it was ever truly clarified in canon whether Tseng was covering for Aerith somehow all those years, finding some weird wiggle room in the phrasing of his orders so he could put off admitting he’d found her or taking her in indefinitely so long as he didn’t lose track of her and let her get away, or if Hojo knew where she was and was just like ‘whatever, I don’t need her back right now, just keep an eye on my specimen and make sure she doesn’t die or escape.’
So it’s hard to know what he would do when we don’t 100% know what his reasoning was for the things he already did, or what kind of oversight he’s dealing with! Tseng is a difficult character for that reason.
-
Also while I do like getting asks, you should feel free to mix the contact approach up a bit when you have this much to say! This was a lot of content for this format. 😂 Tumblr chat IMs still mostly work, and there’s a link to my Discord server from my author page on AO3, where we’d love to have you. (It was proposed for people to talk about my fic, but much more often we wind up talking ffvii meta lmao. This is like...the midpoint of those two subjects so.)
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space-chip-cookie · 4 years
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New Hermitville’s Christmas tree
My gift for the @hermitcraft-gift-exchange is for @comet-pink. They requested something involving Bdubs and Keralis doing something goofy or Stress and cute allium-shrooms. So I combined this all into a great christmas tree heist story! Enjoy! ^^ (This is actually the first story i ever completely finished and also the first one i publish so *shakes* ;_; ) Also a huge thanks to @nopefabulous for helping me out with formatting, some basic writing help and punctuation etc!! ^-^
It was a peaceful morning in New Hermitville
“Hey, Hey Keralis, my sweet angel!!”
‘’Yessss Bubbles?’’
‘’Hey, I had an idea! Just look around you! What do you see?’’
‘’I… seeeee a verrrrry pretty village, a lot of potential tourist attractions, I see a minigame you’re working on, what was it the towers… a dungeon… some treasure hunt in there?’’
‘’Yes you see a tower over there, but my treasure already went up in the air for that! But never mind that! We are talking tourists here! And what is coming up? FESTIVE SEASON! We should plan something BIG, something that might even let Santa visit us himself!’’
‘’Yes yes yes, but what would achieve that?’’
‘’You see, I went around the server lately, and I found a very nice tree around hermit island, the Christmas district they call it. There is no tree like it around here. Our village needs that tree I tell you! We can always return it when Christmas has passed, we would technically be returning the tree before Christmas.’’
‘’Yes of course! Then! Lets go! Don’t forget to bring supplies Bubbles!’’
‘’Wait, why do I have to bring the supplies again? Didn’t you still have some diamonds left fro- Oooh OOOOH! You went by RUN again didn’t you? Did I not tell you to stop going by tha—”
‘’Never mind that bubbles, I foresee a problem. How are we going to move the tree?’’
‘’Oh my dear Keralis, nether portals of course!’’
‘’But then It’ll just get out at the other end of the nether! It will burn! No no no! that will not— Ooooh, I see what you are up to here. You are talking about our neighbours, aren’t you? But what are we going to do to obtain the help of Area 77?’’
‘’Well, we want a tree worthy of receiving Santa Claus, right? I mean, we just want the tourists, so what if we make the tree so grand that it will surely attract Santa Claus, and then Area 77 can obtain the extra-terrestrial man with a white beard from the northern hemisphere.’’
‘’Okay, let’s go to area 77, they just can’t say no to this plan! Oh! And bring some flowers!’’
‘’Eeerm, Bubbles I don’t think that’s going to work very well after that hippy incident and all… Let’s bring a chip from our authentic™ giant iron golem. Let’s call it a late housewarming gift.’’
‘’Oh yes very well Keralis! Now, let’s go!’’
Meanwhile at Area 77
Doc was working on removing some of those darn flowers from around Area 77 again, it truly was a plague. He was working in the gardens of Area 77 with his usual crocs on. In the distance he could still see the house of Keralis previously destroyed by the stray rocket. He would try to make up for it if he could… But at least they are gone and Area 77 could go on with their business as usual.
He still remembers Keralis being there like it was yesterday.  And Keralis would be there as usual, with Bdubs next to— 
Wait a second, those are Keralis and Bdubs!
Keralis and Bdubs flew over to Doc from the broken down house as if to remind Area 77 of the crimes they have committed.
‘’Hey Doc! Fancy meeting you here! How is the… gardening going?’’
‘’Oh yes, gardening is fine.’’ Doc looked away slightly, as if still embarrassed being reminded of that failed rocket test.
‘’If you two are looking for Scar, he is… busy with Jellie #37 right now, she was hungry.’’
Keralis stepped forward and went with his usual ‘’No, no no’’ followed by, ‘’Just you will do, we wanted to talk with you as the portal specialist Docm77.’’
Doc looked slightly surprised for a second, and then straightened his back as if he had just put on a MIB business suit again.
‘’Oh, is that so? I mean… I am sure I could do… something for you, in secret, under the table of course, for the proper… price.’’
‘’Oh I am sure we can work something out.’’ Bdubs threw a chip of the ancient iron golem skeleton to the MIB. “And if you do a good job at it, you could even capture an old man with infinite gifts. All you need to do for us is… move a big tree with a portal, it’s simple really.”
“I… actually, if I overload the current loaded blocks while placing some bedrock inside the void beneath the nether then the portal could be reconfigured to actua—”
Keralis and Bdubs walked off with Doc still mumbling some things behind them. They didn’t mind what Doc would come up with, as long as it worked.
The tree
Keralis and Bdubs where standing in front of the tree with thick winter coats, a muffler on their ears and two pairs of pants each. “Doc was supposed to arrive any moment right?”
“Yes Bubbles he certainly said so…”
“Maybe we can just play some minigolf in the meantime? It surely can’t take that long until Doc gets back here.’’ Bdubs was itching to do something else, tired of waiting, and Keralis was feeling much the same. Just as they were about to go to the minigolf platforms, a colorful portal opened in midair and Doc floated down to them.
‘’Hey Keralis, are we sure the MIB are not just the aliens themselves?’’
‘’Shush Bubbles, they might hear us…’’
‘’Hey you two!’’ 
Doc took a small break after his greeting and then calmly added in his usual smooth low voice, ‘’Preparations are all done.’’ Meanwhile his drocs touched the ground with snow softly crumbling under his feet.
‘’Just press that button on the left and it should go to the proper place.’’  
Bdubs being as impatient as he is, immediately ran to the left side of the tree.
He pressed the first button on the left while Keralis slowly looked over his shoulder.
‘’Hey Bubbles, isn’t there another button past that branch there?’’
Doc hearing this immediately went “Ooooh noooo’’, Ran to the duo and pushed them into the fading tree whilst everything went black.
Stress’s ice fort
Stress was tending to her allium-shrooms atop the castle, dancing around while singing a tune as she worked. Getting some hay here, removing some snow there, getting some eggs at her chicken. When suddenly the sky turned dark and a giant dunk could be heard. The whole castle shook. 
And then, looking behind her she saw a giant tree that had appeared to have crashed on top of her fort..? And the mumbled sound of some people bickering.
“Oh. My. God. I told you to press the left button and you just deadass press the wrong button? Do you have any idea what could have happened? I… just, don’t touch anything around the base of the tree. I’ll fix it, just give me some space.”
Keralis and Bdubs went up to Stress, who still stood there with her mouth hanging open, baffled by the entire situation.
Bdubs started the conversation with a jovial, “Hi Stress! Sorry for dropping in like this!”
“Dropping in? DROPPING IN? I’ve heard of dropping in but never this! I mean… I love the green around here. BUT A TREE DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY?”
“Moo.”
While Bdubs was keeping Stress company, Keralis heard a soft moo and saw the most beautiful animal he had ever seen. One that would have been a fit for Area 77, but no no no no nooooo. Keralis had a better idea. One that involved a shulker and some glass. And just create some half domes here…. Luring them in with some wheat aaand… close them. Some beautiful allium-shroom ornaments. There are still a couple left here to breed back up! It should be… fine?
“Okay but Bdubs do you realise what could have happened by landing here? Just be a little bit more careful next time when doing this kind of stuff, okay darling?” Stress stressed with her gentle voice.
Bdubs softly nodded “Yeaaaah,” and then saw Keralis wave from the other end.
“Hey Bubbles pssssst! Come here will ya.”. Keralis swung his arm around Bubbles and told him about the allium-shrooms, to which Bubbles had to keep back a grin from emerging.
“But… we need to get out quickly then, before she sees the other side of the tree!” 
“Oh yes yes yes totally, I’ve already bred them back up so she shouldn’t see a difference! But.. do you still have that button?” 
“Yes, right over here!” Bdubs handed it over to Keralis and told him he has learned to be more careful next time.
Keralis seemed to be distracted looking at Doc, while hearing Bdubs’s rambling about button safety.
“Hey! Doc! Is it almost ready?!”
“Hey Keralis! Yes, it is almost ready! It should be working now but I need just a minute to make absolutely sure okay!
Then Keralis dragged Bubbles with him in a single sprint, slammed the button on the ground next to the base of the tree and before Doc could even notice what had happened, he turned around, and the tree had vanished.
The void
There was darkness all around.
A young voice could be heard, the direction not clear.
So, it seems you have made a mistake…
And now you are here.
A childish giggle and a miauw could be heard.
Was it by my grace? Where you supposed to be here? Or was it your own wish?
Who knows? Who cares? For it does not matter now. Do you want my help?
Keralis and Bdubs looked at each other, dumbfounded, or in Keralis’s case, perhaps more shocked, with those huge eyes of his.
“Eeerm yes, YES we want your help! Where are we and who are you?”
While Bdubs was trying to talk to the voice, Keralis just turned around and tried swinging his pickaxe at the darkness. 
Okay, so do you want our help or are you going to help yourself? We can of course help you in differe— HEY! YOU THERE! DON’T SWING THAT PICKAXE IN THAT COR— 
While the entity was talking to Keralis, Bdubs’ pickaxe suddenly hit a hard object and the object lit up, it was a jack-o’-lantern that suddenly lit up the area and revealed watermelons, a patch of diorite, and the edge of the great tree. And the muffled sound of an allium-shroom-ornament mooing.
While the rest of this area was still covered in a veil of darkness this was still a whole lot nicer. But wait a second! Diorite? Watermelon?! Could this be the hermit of legends? The hermit that is with all of us, watching over us always and yet nowhere? Could it be… Timmy?
Oh dear friends, you need not use my name, as long as you know how to honor it. Now, why don’t you go back to the tree and hold it? You can see it now no?
Keralis and Bdubs staring at each other in silence, gave each other a nod and proceeded to silently walk to the tree.
The moment they touched the tree an incredibly loud “miauw” commenced, it echoed loudly, and everything faded back to black, then to white, and then the white slowly turned to color, to shapes.
And then they saw before them, New Hermitville, within the middle of which a giant tree where there once had been a plaza.
The tree on its rightful spot
“Oh sweet gods!” Bdubs immediately started hugging the ground while Keralis was still standing there dumbfounded. He slowly opened his mouth and asked, “So, does this mean that… that it is over? We are fine?”
“Yes Keralis, yes! We are back! And with the tree to boot! Glory be to Timmy! And that Doc!” He grumbled. “We should sue Area 77 for safety hazards!”
Meanwhile Scar entered the area of New Hermitville.
“So that’s the tree that Doc helped them with. It’s looking good around here, could use more cats but I like it, I like it. And even the landscaping is done pretty well, and look there! Those floating slimeblocks! Oh, that’s amazing! Oh, hey Bdubs, hey Keralis!”
“SCAR! We need to talk about that tree transportatiportal thingy! I don’t know what it’s called but it’s dangerous! It nearly killed us!” Bdubs aggressively walked up to Scar.
“I ooh, that’s eeerm, I will need to talk with Doc about that? But why did you bring the tree over all this way? Could you… please lower that sword?”
Bdubs slowly lowered his sword as Scar seemed to want to talk things through. “Did you not see I’ve got a Christmas tree service at the Christmas district? I could have just made one for you!”
Keralis stares at Bdubs in silence. And thought to himself, “‘Toured around the island’, he said… If only he would use his eyes! I always keep my eyes open!” 
“But, eerm.” Scar proposed, “Perhaps I can offer you a free tree service for next time around if that might help?”
Bdubs and Keralis realising they were partly at fault ended up accepting the proposal and then had Scar leave on their traditional piggyback ride. 
They did make it out safe, all that remained was hauling in the tourists and preparing the rest of the town! And of course, honoring Timmy who had saved them, but there are ideas for that…
And now there is a giant tree in New Hermitville, with beautiful allium mooshroom ornaments, a single block of smooth diorite in front, with a watermelon on top and some jack-o’-lanterns in the tree. And while peculiar for a Christmas tree, it was always kept there.
FIN
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Text
OT3FIC: Lithuanian Hound
13 -  "I want that woman out of my house!"
Her eyes were focused upon the little hand, spinning and ticking away the seconds with a dull sound that reverberated through the waiting room with each shift of the cogs. The endless cogs turning and turning, counting down the movement of the world outside of this little bubble. Jo felt herself shifting uncomfortably on the leather couch - something she should have felt comfortable with with the worn and supple leather, marks of age and it's history visible to all that looked, but the intricate design felt sharp and uninviting compared to the materials themselves.
She had half expected the walls to be that same sickly yellow - pale and faded to represent sunshine and exude peacefulness that every hospital wall across the country was painted, but instead made the rooms claustrophobic and the walls sinking into a putrid sense of foreboding - but had been surprised on entering to see the pale greenish-blue to the walls not unlike a color she was so very intimately familiar with. The blonde almost considered which came first, the chicken or the egg, as she shifted once again in her seat as the clock ticked ever on towards the time of her scheduled appointment.
As the minute hand struck the hour, she forced herself not to react as the door pushed open between here and there, and the doctor stepped through speaking calmly and with a hand to the back of his previous patient. The squirrelly looking man bobbed his head a few times before proceeding straight out the front door without even a glance towards the couch, and Jo had to force her lips not to twitch as she felt the doctor's eyes find her waiting.
"Ms ..Miles?" "Yes." "Come right in."
She uncrossed her legs and rose with a smoothness honed from her years of practice and poise as a child that she rarely ever utilized in her daily life now - a fluid shift to her feet and the click of her heels across the wooden floorboards and she moved straight past the doctor with barely an acknowledgement towards him into the bowels of the beast. Jo moved swiftly, tugging gently at the back of her sweater to resettle it and smooth the bunched fabric from her time seated, as she crossed the floor towards the center of the room.
Her eyes danced around the space as she heard the door shut with a sharp snap of the latch into place and the soft pad of the man's feet across the floor behind her. Jo made no shift as she looked about the room, and moved slowly and without concern towards the opposite wall - red like dried blood and the color she knew that haunted the doctor's favorite patient - and the dark wooden desk that was covered in sheafs of paper, dark charcoal and pencil sketches atop each other, that she shifted through unthinkingly. They were so well conceived and thought out, elegantly made and designed, but lacking the softness and organic movement of those she was so familiar with at home. Turning back around as she heard the doctor's footsteps and pause, Jo schooled her face into a blank look as she saw him paused beside the armchair - the one Will described in detail and she knew was always the doctors.
"Would you like to sit, Ms Miles?" Hannibal's voice was soft but the acoustics of the space made his words crystal clear no matter how far she was from him. It allowed him to speak as precisely as he wanted, yet not once raise his tone unless he wanted to. An element of control in the space that Jo found so very amusing to see in such a fixed and permanent display.
Jo shifted for a moment before moving swiftly towards the other armchair, sinking into it with the same fluidity as before, and tugged at the stiff fabric of her pencil skirt as she crossed her knees and stared back at the other as he moved to do the same. "Do you always dictate like this, doctor?"
"I find that I can help my patients the most on a one on one basis if I am facing them, Ms Miles. Or would you prefer Beth?" "Beth is fine if you'd like, doctor." "Or perhaps it would be best if I used your real name, Joanna. Which would you prefer?"
"Whatever makes you most comfortable. But here I thought you might enjoy bein' able to pretend you wouldn't know who I might be talkin' 'bout. Plausible deniability for your.. sensibilities." Jo replied in return, uncrossing and recrossing her legs as she shifted to turn the other way as she watched the doctor grow more comfortable now he was reclined in his own chair. His hands were clasped atop his own bended knee, and the blonde was amused to see the way he seemed to stare straight at her yet take in each of her movements and changes without dropping her gaze for a moment. She knew that she was projecting differently to the rough clothing they last met in, with her hair a mess and her cheek still dirty with grave dirt, compared to the form fitted pencil skirt and knitted sweater she wore now, her hair in a slick bun and the thick rimmed glasses she used exclusively for hunts across the bridge of her nose clean and shining rather than the dirty figure she'd shown before.  "But if you'd prefer, Joanna or Jo works for me, doc."
"Well then, Joanna, what can I assist you with in this session? What has brought on this desire to enter therapy at this moment?" "Oh you know, this and that. I have always been told I should stop self medicatin' and see a professional by some of my ex's." "And you have finally chosen to follow their suggestions, why?" "This and that. I've heard interesting things of your methods, thought I should see what the... appeal of you was, you know."
"Is that all you are hoping to get out of this session, Joanna?" Hannibal returned, the volley sent back with a hint of sharpness under the tone as he stared straight back at her. His hands shifted to steeple under his chin as he moved forward to lean inwards, as if assessing her all over again. Jo in return found herself moving to her feet, eyes drifting away from his gaze towards the statue behind him with a swift move "Do you believe in therapy, Joanna, or is this simply a curiosity of yours?"
"Therapy never seems to have been a good fit for me." "Many people believe that, until they find themselves partaking in the activity." "Or forced to through the systems designed to require it." "Is that your take on the practice then?" "It's a means for the rich and the jaded to be self indulgent and congratulatory, or a means to control and manipulate the masses. It's utter bullshit dreamt up to draw blood and funds out of the overall system."
"That is a harsh interpretation of the practice." Hannibal's tone grew harder the more Jo returned as she stood to move past his chair. Jo had even indulged herself to patting the back of the man's chair right beside his shoulder as she passed towards the statuette of a rearing stag - an image she turned to look back towards the patient's chair with a thought that it was no wonder Will's dreams were haunted by the same figure - and ran a hand over the smoothed wood with a sigh. The doctor for his part appeared to turn minutely, eyes following her sharply as Jo stroked the wooden figure for a long, quiet moment. "And yet you are here-"
"I've always thought I should give things the ol' college try. Though in my case that is a lot shorter than finishing properly, so maybe I just want to see how you do what you do so well, Mr Lecter, instead." Jo replied softly, and moved further around the room at a slow pace - a hand out stroking over each area as she passed, running a finger across the spines of the books that lined one wall, before she ran a hand over the thick drapes that covered the windows and let the slatted thin jagged lines of light into the room from the dying sun. Her eyes moved around the space, alighting on various items here and there that she felt the walls crushing in from the growing darkness as the minutes ticked on and outside this space the sun would be sinking below the horizon. She continued to prowl about the space further, side stepping the bonsai tree between the windows with deference to the plant, but an eye roll as she turned her head to catch the scathing look on the man's face at her response. "I mean, if I were goin' to see a therapist, why not one that might not call me crazy for the things I've done."
"A therapist should believe their patient-" "Ah, but how many therapists know that if someone such as your bloodline eats human meat they go all scaley and fucked?"
Jo had made her way across the dark red wall again towards the drinks cabinet seated in the corner with a smile, and let out a laugh into the space at both her comment and the way that as she looked at the intricate carving of the globe that she could see the room suiting another asshole with a strange accent and a penchant for manipulation and suits. The sound seemed to die in the space though, in a way that Hannibal's voice and her own quiet responses didn't. As if the room was so structured and designed to suck and destroy any signs of happiness or mirth from it's very space. Deadening and crushing the sounds down in on itself until it disappeared.
"What do you mean by that, Joanna?" "Were you not aware of it? Or did you think I hadn't worked out what your uncle and family were?" "I am intrigued as to what you mean by your statement."
Jo shrugged a shoulder in response as she continued to pad her way around the room, stopping at the side of the doctor's desk and flicked a hand out to spin the brass compass atop it. Her eyes focused on the spinning top while she kept her back straight and ready to react at the sound of the other man shifting in his seat. "What I meant was, why would I talk to a doctor that didn't already know 'bout the things that go bump in the night. Why would I talk to those that'd institutionalize me like the rest of the world that gets fucked over by your profession and the system as a whole. I don't see the point to talkin' in circles or riddles with those that don't understand until too late."
"Is that why you did not finish your schooling? A fear of institutionalization?" "More dissatisfaction and disenfranchisement in the system as a whole. When you know what's out there - like you - then why bother learnin' from those who will just end up drained of their blood, or torn apart, or perhaps on a dinner plate."
"I am most certain you would be the third category, Joanna." The voice was far closer than the chair, though it did not take her by surprise at all when the other's large hand landed over and clasped her hand down tightly around the sharp brass edges of the compass, crushing the meat of her hand down against the cool metal. "You've certainly spoken enough to prove your dangerous to my lifestyle if left unchecked."
"Your lifestyle indeed." Jo snapped in return, flexing her fingers under his grip but making no move to tug from under the harsh hold that she was in. The point of the arrow dug into her palm harshly as she turned her head slightly to stare straight back into the cold look of the doctor's eyes as if unaffected or unfazed by his grasp. "Are you aware that as poetic as your bein' Hannibal the Cannibal might be, that that's a lie in and of itself? Are you even aware of what you are, Mr Lecter?"
"Would you care to enlighten me as to your suspicions then, Joanna?" Hannibal's voice was harsher now, as he shifted slightly closer and stared down at her with a fierceness that Jo was familiar with in the eyes of her prey. It might frighten or intimidate someone else - it might make Will's back shudder under the look, or that asshole Jack's teeth set on edge - but as she stared back unblinkingly, the blonde could tell this was the first and only time someone had looked into the eye of the beast and not flinched at the darkness looking back. "Just what exactly is it you believe I am."
"You're a rugaru, doc, and if you don't know what that word is, then your uncle and aunt denied you some important knowledge." "You believe me a monster?" "I don't believe, Mr Lecter, I know." "What makes you believe I am such a thing? What convinces you of this?"
"A journal from the early 1800's from a hunter - you do know what a hunter is, right? - in the Baltic area listed the name Lecter as part of a strain of rugaru's. You're from there, aren't you? That's where your family is from and where your sister died." Jo spoke softly, shifting in her heels with the slightest squeak of the floorboard under her at the weight redistributing, and clenched her hand tighter around the brass instrument with a sneer back at him. Hannibal's face twitched as if in surprise, the smallest shift in expression that Jo was unable to place, before she quirked an eyebrow up at him. "And as to why you don't look like every other one of your ancestors, like you remember your uncle lookin', was all to do with that sister of yours from what I've heard of your kind."
"Oh?" "If a rugaru eats one of their own, before ever tastin' human flesh, the physical transformation is stopped. I guess none of your family ever knew 'bout that little quirk." "My sister was never what I am-" "She was never old enough to become what you are. She was never allowed to."
There was a long pause as they stared sharply at one another, the steel in her eyes matched in part with the coldness of his own stare, before there was a hiss of breath and the tug of a hand upwards. Jo could feel the barbed edge of the arrow jerk back out of her palm as it was pulled away, and sneered at the way the doctor twisted her hand over, probing at the sluggishly bleeding wound with a thumb, pressure adding to the pain of it as she looked up at him without fear. Fear was what he craved, and she would not show any such weakness when facing him down over this.
"What is the point of sharing this information with me, Joanna?" The taller man hissed the words out, digging his thumb in sharper for a moment before withdrawing it, eyes fixed upon her own as she let out a hiss followed by her nose wrinkling as he lifted the thumb to his lips. Jo barely controlled herself from snapping a hand out at him as he licked the blood from his finger with a small frown all his own. "What is the point of you - when you are nothing but an insolent child; when your only worth is as sour as your blood is?"
"To make a point, that was the point. Cause I know what you are, and possibly more than you do, doc." Jo snapped back, tugging to pull her hand back towards herself but unable to pull further than an inch back before the grip around her wrist and hand tightened like a vice and pulled it up towards his lips. She didn't manage to stop the snarl as the monster lifted her hand right to her lips and fought to hold back a shudder of disgust that rolled up her spine as she watched his tongue cross the meat of her thumb with a hiss. "The point's that I wanted to get a measure on you, before I decided if I'd do my job."
"You think you can best me?" "I know I can-"
"Are you sure you are not here about that God complex of yours, Joanna?" The doctor's words were hissed out between his teeth, and as he pulled back, Jo jerked her hand from his sharply as his lips blossomed into a twisted smile. His teeth were white and sharp, and she could already picture exactly what he'd want to serve her up as at the dinner table - dark cherries and a bed of celeriac puree - as he glared down at her. "That little voice in your mind that claims you are invincible and that you can take on everything. The lack of fear that rolls down that back of yours, and the way you delude yourself into believing you can do so."
As the doctor leaned towards her, a shift in his stance to attempt to coral her back towards the desk, to trap and guide his prey into a corner from what she could tell of his thoughts, there was a knock at the door and a quiet call of a voice they both knew so well. "Hannibal? May I come in?"
"Yes Will-" His response was cut short, calling back to the other who was seemingly on time for his appointment that evening, by the thunk of brass against the side of his head. Jo dropped the heavy weight from her uninjured hand as she took a step back, avoiding the trap that the man had been trying to push her into, with the clack of her heels alongside the thud of the metal ornament as the man gave an unexpected grunt of surprise and rage. There was a hiss as he turned towards her, eyes wide and face twisted in a burning fire that did not surprise her one bit to see, before he shouted as the door opened with an inelegant jerk, "How dare you? What an audacious-"
"Hannibal, what happen- Jo! What are you doing here?" The appearance of the other and Jo sidled her way away from the desk, clutching her hand against the white knit of her sweater uncaring of the pink and red that was slowly soaking in and staining the wool with a sneer towards the doctor. "What are-"
"I want that woman out of my house!" Hannibal snarled the words out, harsh and gruff as he jerked his hand away from the back of his head, the hiss that came out at the small flecks of blood making Jo laugh to see the distaste across his face. "She is a-"
"Insolent child, I know, I heard you the first time, doc." Jo replied, biting down on the laughter that she felt bubbling up as she moved further away from the other in his slowly disheveling persona as his hands messed up his hair stroking through it trying to place pressure upon the barely existent wound. As if a thump to the head from her was enough to truly harm him. "Perhaps my next session we can cover that God complex you were talkin' 'bout-"
"Out! Out of my office, out of my house, right now." The man hissed, drawing his hand away finally and plucking the handkerchief from his pocket with a flourish as he bundled it and pressed to the back of his head as Jo noticed his eyes catching the incredulous look from the other man in the room, staring at him in shock. "William, take your woman away immediately, as we will need to reschedule our appointment. I am suddenly unwell."
Jo barely contained the smile noticing the way that Will's eyes darted between the two of them before the empath moved immediately towards her, an arm going around her waist and the look of surprise turning into one of shock and anger as he notice the red stain growing on her shirt. There was a moment when she could see the desire to turn and shake and rage an answer for it out of either the doctor or herself, but the moment was gone shortly after and then there was a sharp nod of the curly haired head and a hand on her waist, guiding her towards the door with the click of heels and the soft thuds of his boots.
As they reached the door to that blue-green waiting room that was the chicken to his egg, Jo twisted her head back to see the ferocious calmness cross the other's face for a moment, before she chirped loudly and with a calm look all her own in response. "Better luck next time, Mr Lecter."
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