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leeebo · 6 years

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It’s up, and it’s 5225 words. It has to be my longest chapter yet for this fic.

i also apologise for mobile users who have to scroll through so fucking much of this, but i’m still really proud!

The word spread like wildfire through the barracks. Gaius felt as if he was facing his worse fears, knowing this was where everything would unfold. The location of where all this was taking place, where they would have to take this Erimond man down.

“How are you holding up? Are you ready to leave?” Leliana’s voice was rushed.

“Fine, and no, if I’m being honest.” Gaius made sure his swords were strapped to his back tight enough, so they wouldn’t fall off, but loose enough, so that he could breathe. “Nothing’s where I put it, and everything’s falling apart, and even though I’ve been wanting to get this settled, I don’t know if I want to continue doing this.”

Leliana was silent.

“What?” Gaius shot her a look, tightening his boot straps.

“You said that exact same phrase during the Blight.”

“Maker’s Breath, you remember what I said ten years ago?” He couldn’t help but laugh. “What an awesome memory you have.”

“I also know that you left for Highever last week. How is it? How’s Fergus?” Leliana halted herself. “I mean, Teyrn Cousland?”

Gaius laughed. “No need to correct yourself, he’s still the same stubborn oaf as he was back then. A few extra grey hairs here and there, a new family, but he’s still stubborn.” Gaius grinned as he straightened out his armour. “I won the sparring match, by the way.” He tried to brush aside the fact that he felt like he was intruding in on someone else’s family when he returned home. No one knew him, no one’s faces looked familiar. He felt like an outlier.

Leliana laughed, her brilliant smile all but illuminating the room. “I figured you would. Between the two, you’ve always been the quicker one.”

“Maker, I know, right?” Gaius walked down the stairs with her, laughing. He couldn’t help but worry about this situation. He’d have to fight his comrades in arms. He’d have to fight with some of the recruits he’s trained before he went “missing”. What if Velanna was there? Nathaniel? Sigrun?

“Relax, Gaius.” Leliana’s voice rang out above the song. “You and Alistair will be fine.”

“Yes,” He tried convincing himself. “We’ll be fine.”

- - -

His eyes couldn’t leave the damage they were inflicting. He couldn’t believe it. All of his comrades have been brainwashed into thinking that blood magic was the correct way to do things.

He watched as a trebuchet threw a boulder at a weak point in Adamant’s walls, the Commander standing just in front of the trebuchet itself. Inquisition soldiers were trying their damnedest to get inside for the Inquisitor. After Adralan, Dorian, Bull, and Varric had gotten in, Hawke, Alistair, and Gaius were to follow, providing back up.

Gaius felt his muscles burn as he ran in with Alistair and Hawke next to him.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Gaius?!” Alistair shouted his name over the fighting.

“Honestly, no, but I need to do it soon!” Gaius kicked up sand with every step, occasionally feeling a few grains of it hit his face.

Once they managed get in, a squad of Warden Mages were waiting with their pet demons. Gaius held no strong love for mages, but he still was opposed to controlling them. Let them have their own lives, don’t control them. It’s simple, but people always want more power.

Gaius’ sword and dagger sang as they attacked the rage demon headed for Hawke, slicing it down as fast as possible, moving swiftly to the mage that summoned said demon.

“Forgive me…” Gaius was certain that no one else could hear him, and he hoped no one did. He thrust his weapons through the defenceless man in front of him, feeling the weight of him pressing down on him, the blood gushing over his gloved hands.

Pushing the now dead Warden off his weapons, he made for another target. His feet were now smacking the fallen sandstone of the fortress. As he was attacking one of the many mages here, a second one sent a ball of strong energy at his back, sending him flying away from the mage he intended to attack.

His ears were ringing as his body crashed against the nearest wall, letting out a sharp yelp as a jolt of pain shot through his whole body. As if for comical relief, he slid down the wall, his body turning slightly so he pressed against his right shoulder. He pushed off the wall to return the favour, feeling a warm liquid trickle down below his nose. A quick swipe under it proved to be blood.

Gaius figured using his smoke bomb would work, yet their demons were still alerted to his position, the sand kicking up with every footstep wasn’t helping either.

His armour felt almost too heavy by the time the fighting was over. Sweat dripped from his chin, blood dripped from his nose, and he was just getting started. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Hawke running off, hopefully towards the battlements to assist with the fighting.

“Pull back, they’re through!!” A Warden shouted from one of the battlements. Looking up, Gaius saw an orange glint from the silver of his armour. Gaius smacked himself for being so slow to recognize that it was fire.

“Alright, Inquisitor,” The Commander walked up to the tiny elf. I swear, he was born with that scowl. “You have your way in. Best make use of it.”

Good. Now where the hell is Clarel?

“We’ll keep the main host of demons occupied for as long as we can!” Cullen shouted above the fighting.

“I’ll be fine, just keep the men safe!” Adralan shouted back. It was hard to hear anything beside the noises.

“We’ll do what we have to, Inquisitor.” Cullen paused for a moment to look between Gaius and Alistair. “The Wardens will guard your back! Hawke is with our soldiers on the battlements; she’s assisting them until you arrive! You, Warden!” Cullen turned his attention to Gaius.

“What?”

“Keep the Inquisitor safe! I know you did so back in Crestwood, so I’m trusting you to keep him safe again!”

“Sure thing, Cullen!” Gaius gave the commander a thumbs-up, and the total informality of it made the man irritated and confused as to who this Warden was.

In front of Gaius, a soldier had been thrown off the battlements. Noticing the silver of their armour, he ran over to them, getting to them just as their body met the ground. Wincing and kneeling, Gaius tore the man’s helmet off, trying to get a look at his face. Not Nathaniel, not anyone else… Good…

“Agh, there’s too much resistance on the walls. Our men on the ladders can’t get a foot hold! If you can clear out the enemies on the battlements, we’ll cover your advance!” His voice carried out louder than the fighting around them. Gaius walked back to Adralan, who was gripping his bow like it was his lifeline.

“By the Maker and the Creators, keep the Inquisition soldiers safe…” Adralan whispered, just so Gaius could barely catch what he said, and walked past, breaking into a run.

Screams and shouts echoed throughout the fortress. At this point, he preferred the false Calling to the screams. As much as he tried to ignore it, one piercing scream here, or one roar from a demon there would always make his mind snap back.

“Rrraah!!” One of the warrior Wardens ran up to attack Adralan as he turned a corner.

“Look out!” Gaius ran in, his swords crossing over another blocking the blow meant for the elf. “Think, Soldier!” Gaius shouted at the Warden, grey eyes staring deep into fresh – yet terrified – emeralds. “Use your brain! You might be scared, but you know this isn’t right!!”

“Warden… Commander?” The boy’s voice lessened some of its previous anger.

“Yes, that’s right.” He’d hoped he was getting through to the boy. “Put down your weapons against us, Warden. We are not here to fight you, only to get to Clarel.”

“Aye, but she did order me to stop the Inquisition.” The boy thought he could outsmart Gaius by having his spare hand reach for his dagger strapped to his back.

His movements were frantic, grabbing for the offending hand before it pierced through the weak spot in his armour. Gaius’ breaths were rapid as he held the boy’s hand, snapping his wrist to force him to drop the dagger. As his sword hand dropped, Gaius’ own raised as he twirled the blade around in his hand, slicing his blade to the right, drawing it over the boy’s throat. He watched as the life left his eyes, the anger, the fear. The boy’s last breath sounded like a Chantry bell, loud and clear, and shaking time itself. Why is this just now affecting me?

The young Warden dropped like a stone in front of Gaius, the area free from any further attacks for the moment.

It felt as if Gaius swallowed a stone as he forced himself to keep up with Adralan and the others.

“Stay back!” He heard another Warden shout. “We want no part in this!” He defended himself against an attack from a Rage demon, quickly turning his attention to one of the Mage Wardens.

“We’re on your side!” Alistair responded, assisting in killing the mage.

Gaius threw another smoke bomb on the ground, using his stealth to sneak around the battlefield to get to one of the mages that had tip-toed away from the fight. He’d hoped, when he drew his blade across the mage’s throat, that the mage would whisper “Thank you”; alas, his hoping went ignored as the mage fell before him, resting in a pool of his own blood.

“Just stay back!” The Warden shouted again.

“The inquisition is here to stop Clarel, not kill Wardens!” Adralan shouted back. His grip on his bow was tight, tight enough that Gaius feared the elf would snap it in half. “Please, fall back and get to safety!”

“Alright.” The Warden was quick to comply with Adralan’s demand. If anything, Gaius was impressed that this warden went along so quickly. “My men and I wanted nothing to do with this. Keep pressing forward. Clarel should be just ahead.”

“Nice work, Inquisitor,” Alistair pulled Adralan aside once they were out of earshot from the other wardens. “I’m glad some of them could be reasoned with.”

As the group pressed forward, it took Gaius a moment to realise that Alistair wasn’t with him, that he’d stayed behind with the other wardens.

“Having to put your fellow Wardens to the sword,” Dorian muttered next to Gaius as they pressed forward towards the battlements. “I can’t imagine that it feels grand.”

“No,” Gaius sighed. “No, it really doesn’t.” He’d be lying if a few faces didn’t look familiar. After the events of Amaranthine, Gaius had met with a few of the Orlesian wardens, updating them on what had happened. He’d trained with them and fought with them. And now he was killing them. “Honestly, I feel like a traitor…”

Dorian was silent, unable to offer support. He had to have known what it felt like.

The roar of a Pride demon, once the group made their way to another part of the battlements, stopped Gaius cold in his tracks. He hadn’t seen one up this close before. Oh, I wonder why I didn’t just stay in Highever…

“Let’s take out those demons, quickly!” Dorian called. His voice was just barely louder than the sounds of the fighting, the screams of the wounded. Thankfully, it was just enough to snap Gaius out of his thoughts.

The pride demon’s laughter made shivers trail down Gaius’ spine. He’d never heard one laugh before.

“I guess no matter how many adventures you’ve had,” Gaius spoke up, slicing a demon down. “You’ve always got room to hear that chilling laugh of a pride demon!” Gaius shouted. He arced his blade up, cutting a shade almost in half. Just when he thought his sword had gotten caught in… the body of it, the shade disappeared.

“You’ve never fought one?” Dorian asked, twirling his staff above his head and slamming the blade down hard on the ground. Ice erupted from around the pride demon’s feet, attempting to slow it down.

“I have, once, but that was ten years ago, and it was an abomination.” Gaius answered, remembering the fight with Uldred. He ran in and sliced low at the demon’s… ankles. He wasn’t even sure if demons had ankles, but he sliced at where they would be if demons had ankles.

The demon stomped in anger, sending Gaius, Iron Bull and Alistair back a few paces. He’d heard Hawke shout, anger seeping through her lips like slobber does from a mabari’s mouth. “Blood mages! It’s always blood mages!”

Gaius dared a quick glance around at the small field, noticing that a Warden was approaching Hawke from behind. “Behind you!” Gaius shouted at her, dashing to intercept the attack that was meant for her. Sparks flew as the Wardens’ blades collided, the faint glow of Starfang illuminating the fear on the Orlesian Warden’s face. “You’re being tricked!” Gaius shouted at him, hoping to shout some sense into the man.

“Lies! We will stop all future Blights!”

“With the help of a darkspawn – the very thing you’re sworn to destroy! Your comrades who are mages?! They aren’t your friends anymore!” Gaius countered.

“I believe in Clarel!” The man’s focus shifted from Gaius’ blades to his waist, attempting to slice him in half.

The force of his attack sent shivers down Gaius’ spine, once their swords collided. He was in a sticky situation, one where if he made one foul move, his arm wouldn’t be there for much longer. His grip was slick on the hilt of his blade, threatening to slip from his grasp. His left hand had been holding onto his opponent’s hand, making sure the dagger in it didn’t come slicing through Gaius’ eye.

C’mon, think, think, think! Use your… Your head! He’d regret it in the morning, but Gaius slammed his head against the Warden’s own, rattling his brain – it felt. Thanking the Maker for this stupid idea, Gaius quickly recovered from his awkward stance and thrust both his swords through the Warden’s chest, quickly kicking him off and turning his attention to the Pride Demon.

It looked as if it was slowing down, thank the Maker, but every attack was just as devastating as the last. Gaius felt as if his swords were ineffective, sticks against a hunk of metal.

In one moment, he blinked, and in the next, the demon fell, defeated.

“Nice one, Warden!” Bull shouted across the field, his grin plastered across his face, thumb up in clear approval.

What did I do? Gaius couldn’t remember what he’d done, or how the demon had fallen.

Adralan dared a glance at the Warden-Commander, noticing how blank his stare was. He’d watched the man climb up the demon, trip, and slice down the demon’s throat. His blank stare turned into that of confusion, of concern. He’d no idea what he’d done, or how much of a life saver it was.

“Inquisitor!” Hawke shouted at the elf. Her mabari looked around, sniffing here and there before glancing up at Adralan. “Always a pleasure!”

“Good work!” Adralan responded. His heart felt like it was in his throat – felt as if far too many lives depended on him. “Stay with my soldiers and see that they survive this!”

“I’ll keep the demons off them as best I can!” Hawke agreed. Her footwork was as fast as ever, running off in the direction closest to the bulk of the Inquisition’s soldiers.

“I suggest we keep moving,” Dorian began. “Soldiers get tired – demons not so much!”

The thought of more soldiers dying because Adralan took too long to move his damn feet was enough prompting to get him to move. His heart was racing and felt worry flow through him like water would flow down a stream.

“Warden!” Adralan shouted at Gaius as the group started to move. They were getting closer to Clarel - they had to have been. He’d been standing there, unmoving and silent. Had he really blacked out completely?

Adralan noticed his nose scrunching, noticed how the Calling was slowly getting to him. Breaking his strides towards Clarel, he ran towards Gaius, placing a hand on his arm.

Gaius all but jumped when he felt that light touch. He… He killed that demon? How? Had he been able to lower its defences that much? His eyes were wide as he glanced down to his left, finding the elf scowling at him.

“I did call for you,” Adralan muttered before running off.

Gaius chose to ignore the look of concern in the Inquisitor’s eyes. Adralan had no time to worry about a warden like him. “Right,” He mumbled, turning in the direction of the group. “Of course, you did. I had to have zoned out… Apologies, Inquisitor.” His voice sounded animated, empty. Like there was such a loss of life it seemed impossible for Dorian to resurrect.

Adralan ran through the keep, finding a window with a… “Maker…” Her heard Gaius mutter behind him.

“That’s one big rift, boss.” Bull continued.

“I noticed,” Adralan tried to finish these painfully obvious mentions. “We need to keep moving – we’re almost there.”

* * *

Adralan put all his weight against a nearby door, just knowing Clarel was on that other side. It had taken them a long time to get here, but here they were, with Alistair and Hawke walking closely behind.

As the group walked in, they noticed just how many Wardens were under the influence that they were able to pre-empt the blight by stopping the Archdemons before they wake. It was a foolish plan, and a plan that could only end in more bloodshed than they were willing to spill. Gaius knew this to be true.

Gaius’ blood ran cold as he watched Clarel slice a Warden’s throat, the elf falling at her feet. Who looks at this and says “Good idea!”?! Gaius was fuming by the time the group had been noticed, the heat doing much of the work itself. Despite it being nighttime in the desert, it was still hot, hotter still from the blood boiling in Gaius’ veins. Was Alistair thinking the same thing? Or is he still ready to excuse this kind of behaviour?

“Stop them!” The same magister from the Ritual Tower shouted, pointing at the Inquisitor’s group. “We must complete the ritual!”

Adralan held up a hand to his group to keep them from advancing with him. Either he was stupidly brave, or bravely stupid, and Adralan wasn’t sure which one he felt he was. He’d hoped he could handle this without having to rely on his bow.

Gaius tugged at his cloak, the wind doing much the same. It begged him to take it off, the heat demanded that the cloak be taken off so that he could cool, and to demand that Clarel step down. Eventually, he gave in to the temptation, raising his hand to the clasp at his throat, feeling it loosen under his fingers, and feeling it lift from his shoulders and into the winds above them.

Eventually, but not now.

The Wardens guarding the giant rift behind them advanced just as Adralan did. “Clarel, if you complete this ritual, you’re doing exactly what Erimond wants!” Adralan’s voice carried over the wind and to the Orlesian Warden-Commander.

“What,” Erimond began, already starting to twist what Adralan was trying to say. “Fighting the Blight? Keeping the world safe from darkspawn?! Who doesn’t want that?!” He shouted, flinging his arms about like a child would if they were upset that their mother said no. “And yes, the ritual requires blood sacrifice. Hate me for that if you must, but do not hate the Wardens for doing their duty!”

“We make the sacrifices no one else will. Our warriors die proudly for a world that will never thank them!” Clarel argued.

“And then he binds your mages to Corypheus!” Alistair finally shouted at her.

“Corypheus…? But he’s dead…” Clarel mumbled, already in doubt.

Gaius took a step further, releasing the clasp on his cloak, allowing it to flow free from his throat. “I can assure you, Clarel, that Corypheus is very much alive.”

“It’s the Hero of Ferelden…” A few wardens muttered, taking a few paces back. It was clear they were unwilling to fight the Warden that ended the most recent Blight – albeit a blight that had ended ten years ago.

“These people will say anything to shake your confidence, Clarel.” Even at this distance, Gaius could still hear Erimond trying to convince her that the Inquisitor was wrong, and that they were still in the right.

Clarel rose her left hand to her forehead, rubbing away an invisible pain, trying to make up her mind. “Bring it through,” she had come to a conclusion.

The mages advanced towards the rift, offering themselves almost as sacrifices to open this rift. Gaius felt as if ants were crawling in his boots, unable to stand still and squeamish.

Adralan advanced towards the Wardens, anger evident in his shoulders. Gaius, Alistair and Hawke followed closely behind him. Gaius watched as a few warden warriors shrank back in fear.

“Please!” Hawke started, balling her fists at her sides. “I have seen more than my fair share of blood magic! And it’s never worth the cost!”

“I helped Gaius defeat the Archdemon in Ferelden,” Alistair tried talking some sense into them. “Would you at least consider listening to me?!”

“This isn’t right, and you know it!” Gaius snarled, shaking he was so mad. “You have no idea what it’s like fighting an Archdemon, attacking by surprise or no! Stand down!”

A scream echoed through the rift, sending shivers down Gaius’ spine. Impossible in this sordid place, but it still happened. He hated being anywhere near the Fade and was eternally grateful that he wasn’t born a mage. He had respect for those who didn’t abuse their Maker-given powers and pitied those who did. The fact still stood that he was terrified of the Fade and would rather live without it.

“Be ready with the ritual, Clarel,” Erimond’s voice carried. “This demon is truly worthy of your strength.”

“Listen to me!” Adralan shouted. “I have no quarrel with the wardens! I have spared those I could! I don’t want to kill you, but you’re being used! And some of you know it, don’t you?” Adralan hoped to spare innocent wardens. They knew that the warden mages wouldn’t listen, but perhaps the warriors would stand down.

“The mages who’ve done the ritual?” The same warden Adralan had spared before spoke up. “They’re not right – they were my friends, but now they’re like puppets on a string!” He finally started to see just how dangerous this ritual really was.

“You cannot let fear sway your mind, Warden Chernoff!” Clarel cut in, making sure that her wardens weren’t about to back away from this foolish ritual.

“He’s not afraid!” Hawke shouted. “You are! You’re afraid that you’ve ordered all these brave men and women to die for nothing!”

“If this were a fight against future Blights,” Alistair continued to try reasoning with them. “I would be at your side, but it’s a lie!”

“I’ve fought and killed the Archdemon back in Ferelden, trust me! This is a ruse, and you’re being lied to!” Gaius balled his fists at his side.

Gaius saw Erimond whispering to Clarel, trying to draw her back into his web of lies. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but it was safe to assume that Clarel was backing down from this fight, that what Erimond was proposing was a ruse.

“Or perhaps I should bring in a more reliable ally...!” Erimond snarled, knowing he’d lost the help of the Grey Wardens.

“My master thought you might come here, Inquisitor!” Erimond held onto his staff, red sparks shooting out from the bottom of it. “He sent me this to welcome you!”

He slammed his staff on the stones of the podium four times, screeching in the distance evident of Corypheus’ pet dragon approaching. It flew over head of the Inquisitor’s small group, spewing out red lyrium, splitting the group into two.

Gaius dared a glance up a Clarel, landing on his shoulder. He saw how startled she was that he had all but summoned an Archdemon. His attention was snatched from her to the battlements where the dragon had landed. It snarled, causing both the Inquisiton and the Wardens to back away from it. The mage wardens didn’t seem to notice.

He heard a shout over where Clarel was. Looking in her direction, he saw that Clarel had struck Erimond from behind with a bolt of lightning. Not enough to kill, but enough to stun.

Gaius forced himself to his feet, keeping an eye on both the dragon and Clarel. Was she finally seeing how much of a danger this was?!

He watched as Clarel shot another bolt at the dragon, watched as Erimond held up a hand telling her to stop. The dragon shot a bolt of red lyrium at her, its attention on her the moment she stunned Erimond, jumping off and flying towards her and Erimond both. Once it neared them, it shot another bolt of red lyrium, dividing the two. Erimond ran off as Clarel looked back at the Wardens under her command.

“Help the Inquisitor!” She ordered as she ran off towards Erimond.

The moment between her order and when hell broke loose was the most still moment Gaius had experienced since this all began. It felt as if time stopped around him, allowing him but a moment to catch up to the events taking place this very moment. His breaths were as still as time around him, as still as Adralan’s movements, as still as the rift in front of them. It was still and it was quiet, but most of all, it was peaceful. He heard his blood pulsing through his body, felt his heartbeat, still nice and steady. His eyes were closed in peaceful contemplation, his breaths evening out as he felt time speed up again, drawing his blades and running towards yet another Pride Demon.

He was thankful this demon wasn’t as difficult to defeat as the one on the battlements – difficult nevertheless, but slightly easier.

“Dragons make things interesting!” Bull shouted, slicing down a warden mage.

“I agree – up until they’re made of red lyrium!” Gaius countered, defending himself from an attack from a shade. “Then it’s a fucking mess!”

“What about the dragon in Haven, Gaius?!”

“There was a dragon in Haven?!” Hawke shouted after Alistair.

“Ten years ago!” Gaius answered her, soon answering Alistair. “And if you’ll recall, I actually listened and didn’t touch that bloody gong!”

Bull’s laughter echoed throughout the area, over the shouts of the wardens fighting their kin.

“Which way did Clarel run off to?!” Adralan shouted over the noise.

“This way!” Gaius ran towards the spot where she ran off, hoping that there was only one way to go, and that they didn’t have to investigate as to which way she went.

Adralan and his group made their way around the keep, hiding from the Archdemon at, what felt like, every turn. Demons popped up along with wardens who tried to stop said demons, trying to clear a path for the Inquisitor and his small group of companions.

They pushed their way down the halls, slicing down as many shades as they could, making sure they were sent back to the Fade.

“Up those stairs!” Gaius shouted, using his blades to point the way. “She went that way!”

As the group rounded the corner, they saw Erimond and Clarel in a bit of a showdown before the abyss- on the bridge that held them above it.

Erimond shot off as many bolts of lightning he could at the Orlesian Warden-Commander without draining his powers too quickly.

“You!” Clarel snarled, her voice echoing in the vast area. “You destroyed the Grey Wardens!” She manifested and folded a part of the Fade in front of her, pushing it forward to knock Erimond off balance. She ran behind him after he’d fallen.

You did this yourself, Clarel.

“You did this to yourself, you stupid bitch…” Erimond growled as a rabid dog would, snapping and biting at an assailant’s ankles. He turned himself around, sitting on his hip and holding his side. “All I did was dangle a little power before your eyes, and you couldn’t wait to get your hands bloody!” He made her out to be the villain. Even in Gaius’ own eyes, while he knew he wasn’t right either, he also knew they were as wrong as he was. From his own standpoint, they were the villains in this scenario, seeing “the right side of things” from their own eyes, making themselves as the hero in this situation, arguing about a cabin while it burns down around them.

Clarel barred her teeth as would a mad lion, using as much energy as possible to blow Erimond back. He was quickly made into a groaning, trembling and smoky mess. “You could have served a new god…”

Clarel stood over him, a gleam in her eye Gaius hadn’t seen since Morrigan. “I will never serve the Blight!”

Adralan and his small group entered the vast area once it felt semi-safe to enter. Hawke and Alistair stood on either side of Gaius while Adralan’s group stuck closely behind him.

Without warning, as if the dragon was a lightning bolt, it came down, snatching up Clarel in its maw, jumping away immediately after. They watched as the dragon landed on a side of the keep, balancing itself, dangling Clarel in its mouth before tossing her aside like a child would a broken doll.

Adralan and Gaius’ movements were just as slow as the dragon’s advancement towards them. That edge sure is getting closer and closer…

There were only a certain amount of steps Gaius allowed himself to take before stopping. He didn’t want to fall backwards into the unknown behind him.

“In war, victory,” Clarel began to mutter. To him? Her eyes were plastered on him as she crawled her way towards them. “In peace, vigilance,” She fell onto her back, her eyes whispering an apology, one only Gaius could understand. He knew what she was doing.

In death,

A bolt of lightning left her hand as she disrupted the dragon’s pounce towards the group, causing it to tumble straight into the already loosened bricks of the bridge they were on. Flying away before it had the chance to fall in the…

The bridge had already started to collapse, forcing panic into Gaius’ throat. He glanced back a few times, falling, causing Alistair to turn and run towards his friend, hauling him back up, only for the both of them to drop once more. Adralan turned, immediately running for the pair of wardens who had already begun to fall into the abyss.

It felt as if his fall was never ending, and Gaius closed his eyes, bracing for death.

Sacrifice.

#i once was #my writing #oc: gaius cousland #oc: adralan lavellan #dorian pavus #iron bull #adamant #warden commander #warden commander clarel #livius erimond #grey wardens #cousland #lavellan #inquisitor #da:i #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fic

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leeebo · 6 years

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We Are Here

I wanted to write something where the companions (or as it is, just alistair) support the warden (gaius, in this case) after seeing someone more than just duncan (who alistair should have seen) in the fade.

Universe: Dragon Age, After the Circle Tower Rating: Teen Tags: death mention Words: 1180

“Fergus!” Gaius’ voice echoed.

“Little brother!” Fergus shouted, his voice carrying throughout the halls of Castle Cousland. “Welcome home! I’m assuming your hunting party went well?”

“It has, and there was a rather large bounty this time!” Gaius’ lips turned up into a smile, quick to accept his brother’s welcome.

“Welcome home, dear brother!” Oriana said, her voice as cheerful as ever. “I trust Oren had a nice time?”

“He did,” Gaius hugged his sister-in-law. “Not to worry, Oriana, Oren wasn’t hurt. He was more amazed by my bow than he was with the actual hunting part.” He laughed.

“Mother, mother!” Oren, as if saying his name was a summoning, ran in, holding up a rabbit he had caught and befriended from… Wait… “Look at what Uncle Gaius let me keep!”

There was a certain pride welling up in Gaius’ chest at being called ‘Uncle’.

“Oh, Gaius.” Fergus ushered him to the table. “Lady Delilah asked after you earlier today. I told her you would be around later this evening.”

“Where is she now?” Gaius sat, talking into his mug. His armour felt uneven on him, felt… Off. Like it didn’t belong on him. Removing his lips from the rim of the mug and looking down, he realised he wasn’t wearing the… armour he was… just wearing? He could have sworn… “Wait…” Gaius looked around. The door to the dining hall looked as if there were a thick mist around it, blocking anyone from getting in.

“What is it, little brother?” Fergus asked, taking a bite of the meat set in front of him.

“Something just… Doesn’t feel right.”

“Ah, you’ll feel better after a few drinks.” Fergus was quick to dismiss the bells going off in Gaius’ head.

“Mother! I’m done! I’m going upstairs now!” Oren’s voice cut in, breaking Gaius’ ruminations.

“Dear wife, why don’t you go with him? I have a few things I need to talk about with Gaius.”

“Of course, Fergus.” Her voice quickly became animated, rehearsed. Something certainly was not right.

“Now,” Fergus stood, his dinner practically untouched. He walked around the edge of the table, gesturing to Gaius to follow him. “You look pale, brother, are you alright?”

“Where’s Alistair?” Gaius had just remembered his friend’s name.

“Alistair…” Fergus mumbled, trying to figure out who he was talking about.

“I… Don’t know his last name, but he was with me. We were…” He halted, confronting that fog in his mind once more. It was thick and dense, pushing him back.

“Were what, Gaius?” His brother urged him to finish his sentence. “Mother and Father are waiting for us in their estate, we can’t take too long.”

“There was a tower…” Gaius pushed through the fog, unwilling to give up. The sudden realisation left his spirits crushed. This wasn’t real. It was just a dream. Fergus was missing; Oren, Oriana, Mother and Father were killed. This was all false. Gaius clenched his jaw so tight he feared his teeth would break. His eyes shut tight, remembering the pain of losing his whole family all over again, picturing the flames rising high over the castle. “Oh, I wish you were real, brother…” His voice cracked.

“What are you talking about? This is real.” ‘Fergus’ was understandably confused. He punched Gaius’ shoulder. “Feel that?” No. “You’re real, I’m real, this is all real.”

“You’re trying so desperately hard… I admire you for it… But I know my family is dead… I know my brother is missing…” Gaius muttered, his voice dark and broken. Tears fell freely from his eyes, his hands quick to thrust a blade into his ‘brother’s’ stomach. The gasp falling from this illusion’s mouth dug the metaphorical blade deeper into Gaius’ heart. “I’m sorry.” He looked into the illusion’s eyes.

“But… We’re family…” ‘Fergus’ groaned, gripping tightly onto Gaius’ arm. “You… traitor…”

“No.” Was the single thing that fell from Gaius’ lips as the illusion was shattered. “I’ll find you. The real you, Fergus.”

* * *

“How did you know to find us?” Alistair asked a distracted Gaius. The air was surprisingly clear for Ferelden.

“What…? Oh. I, uh… I broke free of my own illusion and talked with another dreamer that was there.” Gaius gave as clear an answer as he possibly could. The clay bowl from dinner made clinking sounds as Gaius placed it next to the fire. “You ever wonder what it would be like if you just… Stayed in the Fade…? Wondering how happy you could be with your loved ones…?”

“Where are you going with this, Gaius?” Alistair leaned back, hands pressed against the wet grass.

“Exactly what I’m proposing. If I were killed in the real world, and my mind was still in the Fade, would I still be able to be with them…?”

Alistair let out a deep sigh. “You saw how content I was, you know who the rest of us were with. We never saw yours.” Alistair waited until Gaius was looking at him to continue. “Who did you see?”

Tears threatened to fall again. Damn it, Gaius, you’ve cried enough! “I saw my family. I saw my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephew… I saw all the guards, I saw Ser Gilmore. Mother and father were still alive, the castle…” His voice cracked. “They were all alive, Alistair.” Gaius let loose a shaky breath. Don’t cry.

Alistair’s breaths were deep, placing a hand on his friend’s back. “You’ll get through this. It might seem difficult right now, maybe even bloody impossible, but you’re strong. You’re going to get through this, and you’re going to find Fergus.”

“I can still hear their screams… I can picture Oren and Oriana’s faces clear as day… Alistair, moving on seems an impossible task.” Gaius confessed. “I don’t think I can.”

“Yes, you can, Gaius. You’ll be able to.” Alistair moved so he was directly facing his friend. “You saved the rest of us, you can save yourself. This brain of yours will find a way so that you can move on.” Alistair said, poking at Gaius’ forehead. His hand moved to Gaius’ chest. “They’re all in here, they’re not gone permanently. You can move on, and it’s entirely possible.”

By now, the tears Gaius had tried so hard to hold back were falling freely, feeling his head pressed against Alistair’s shoulder. He was thankful he didn’t have his armour on, settling instead with a simple silk shirt and slacks. His sobs were muffled into his friend’s shoulder. He felt pathetic, crying like this.

“You haven’t gotten a single word of thanks or congratulations since your Joining.” Alistair’s voice rumbled through his whole body, his arms around Gaius, holding his friend as he cried. “Just fighting, death, and tragedy. If you ever need to talk, if you ever feel yourself starting to fall,” Alistair pushed Gaius off his shoulder as gently as possible, holding him steady by the shoulders. “We’re here to help you get back up. We’re here to support you. Don’t ever forget that, Gaius.”

Gaius couldn’t be more thankful to have Alistair in his life.

#my writing #lys attempts to write #da:o #dragon age origins #dragon age writing #alistair #alistair theirin #fergus cousland #oriana cousland #oren cousland #castle cousland #highever #oc: gaius cousland #Gaius Cousland #m!cousland #grey warden #hero of ferelden

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