#ocn black

[petrichorblue94]

I am so so obsessed with the legend of Shen li and Xing Zhi

I mean he cooks, he’s mothering (I assume that’s the reverse of the meme “mother is fathering”), he’s funny and cheerful and pure hearted (kinda?), he is hot, and he is also accidentally the most powerful being in the universe that is still alive.

— like that guy is one of the hottest fantasy characters (along with Joon from Black, nogitsune Stiles, Philippe de Clermont and Sirius Black) that I am just watching every scene with him like this:

#legend of shen li #the legend of shen li #the legend of shenli #xing zhi #ocn black

[junkobato]

Kdramas with Grim Reapers

Arang and the magistrate

Goblin

Tomorrow

49 days

Black

The universe's star

Along with the gods (movie)

We just love these kind of grim reapers 😊

#Grim reapers #Goblin #Arang and the magistrate #Ocn black #Along with the gods #The universe's star #mbc tomorrow #49 days

[gottagobuycheese]

Hugtober Day 8/? - Traumatized Trio Finally Get to Hug It Out, More at Midnight

A brief pause from the ORV onslaught to bring you yet another trio that knocks me dead if I think about them too hard  there are plenty of ORV vibes here though let’s be real

[ID: A greyscale piece of digital fanart depicting Yoon Hwa-pyung, Kang Gil-young, and Choi Yoon from OCN’s The Guest. The three of them stand in the middle of the drawing, hugging each other tightly. Gil-young wears a long coat and has her back to the viewer as her arms clutch Hwa-pyung’s and Yoon’s backs, holding them close as she buries her head between them. Hwa-pyung is dressed in a light flannel overshirt and dark slacks and places one arm along Gil-young’s shoulders, with his other hand barely visible around Yoon’s waist. His face is hidden from view as he presses his forehead against Gil-young. Yoon is dressed in his priest garb and wraps his arms around the other two, turning his face away from the viewer as he rests his head against Gil-young’s. /end ID]

#ocn the guest #kang gil-young #yoon hwa-pyung #choi yoon #not me obsessively thinking about both of these at the same time and trying to smash them together in a way that makes sense #I've said it before and I'll say it again #MASSIVE kdj vibes from yoon hwa-pyung #partly for the obvious reasons but also in the ways he interacts with other people #choi yoon somehow reminds me of yjh but whether that's solely from the ‘tall solemn dressed-in-all-black-and-angsting-quietly’ vibe #or some other underlying significance I could not tell you #kang gil-young (at the risk of repeating myself) strikes me much more as a jhw-esque character than hsy-ish #she's even got the same hairstyle I mean come O N #but yeah in my head if I ever had to imagine what they'd look like live action these come to mind #anyway anyway enough about non-guest stuff in the tags jeez #(lol last thing: I think there's a pretty big part of the venn diagram that would contain people who like the guest and people who like orv) #my attempts at art #hugtober 2022 #hugtober day 8 #these three. these three #THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND WOULD GIVE UP ANYTHING FOR THEM BUT REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT OF EACH OTHER #...apparently this is a tag that already exists. I have a feeling I used it for the same reason #because it's TRUE #that's their family!!! #LET THEM HUG IT OUT #also this was clearly referenced from that one behind the scenes photo which I can only imagine was taken after the end of the last shot #it was SO WEIRD to see choi yoon's actor smiling like that after a whole season of grumpy gills lol #yoon hwa-pyung's actor was making the exact face I'd expect yoon hwa-pyung to make when taking a photo with his friends #pretty pleased with how this one came out actually #perfect three-person hug pose

[boltgunkiller-archive]

edit i made for my sisters birthday

#juno speaks #?? #black ocn

[teafiend]

#jung eun chae #kang gil young #the guest #ocn the guest #choi yoon #kim jaeuck #kim jae wook #reliving my rare pair OTP feels #in black and white 🤍🖤 #they are gorgeous even in monotone #Kang Gil Young/Choi Yoon #I miss them #they are so perfect #and precious

[waitingforminjae]

post-ep 10 theory is that sunghoon kept in touch w yoonjae after they left the center and sungjoon ALSO knew yoonjae. yoonjae was there at the playground when sungjoon had his accident, because we see him talking to yoonjae later afterwards on the playground when he overhears his parents talking. that's why sungjoon remembers sunghoon crying out to yoonjae.

i don't think sunghoon knew that sungjoon thought he was yoonjae until sungjoon told him (which i don't remember if he did before ep.10 - i think so). when sunghoon looks at sungjoon when yoonjae is mentioned, it's bc he expects sungjoon to recognize the name bc he knew yoonjae.

i think i'm right that is inseong is indeed the restaurant owner's son, and he's definitely helping the killer by scouting the locations and probably planting bugs in their computers and cctv. i think charles is also an accomplice in revenge for his brother.

i would've bet money sunghoon was the killer but now i'm not so sure - we've established sungjoon as an unreliable narrator, and a friend pointed out sunghoon having knife scars + being covered in blood at his sink i realized that could have been a red herring (bc now we know he self-harms) so idk.....

#blind tvn #tvn blind #blind 2022 #i love this show it's got that ever expanding web thing going on like black (also ocn show) #self harm ment #ask to tag #f: blind

[chryzure-archive]

on one hand, i wish i could rewatch black w/o knowing what’s happening because the emotions i felt were.. Very A Lot. on the other hand, i’m so glad i know what happens because the emotional wounds that show inflicted on me were deep enough to scar for years.

#memorie.txt #chryzure au for black ocn rlly does jst. Hurt. azure possessing chrysi’s ex bf + his cousin #having that moment where he sees his uncle—who thinks he’s tris—so they take a picture together #and azure’s crying because this is his uncle thinking he’s talking to his son. but his son’s dead and his nephew is in his body instead #also chrysi figures out azure is azure rather than tris #anyway this is ALL incomprehensible but if you guys want a good kdrama that fucking HURTS #black is REALLY good. #the first two episodes give me major secondhand embarrassment tho… haha.. yikes. #BUT chrysi getting attacked by a serial killer + azure thinks she’s dead so he hunts the serial killer down #and he ends up bashing the guy’s head against the wheel of the car he’s driving while screaming ‘where is she?? where is she?? where did you #put her?!!’ SOBBING #lots of this is out of context but hfjdjcjdksks…. GOD. #jacks is also in this au. hence why i post it here BUT HE SAVES CHRYSI FRM THE ATTACK AND 🥺🥺🥺 thinking thoughts!!!

[frances-and-the-moon]

So!

Since there is a Spotify Wrapped and a Youtube Wrapped I thought it a good idea to make a personal K-drama Wrapped a.k.a. a list of all K-dramas & J-dramas I watched this year!

I had a lot of time this year to watch lots (and lots) of TV Shows. So, without farther ado, here's a list of all TV Shows I watched in 2023, ranked by my very personal vote (I'm probably forgetting some but it's ok lol. Favourite ones are in bold + bromance ones are pink, BLs are purple)

1. Beyond Evil (10/10)

2. The Devil Judge (9/10)

3. Weak Hero Class (9/10)

4. The Glory (10/10)

5. Strangers from Hell (8/10)

6. The Worst of Evil (10/10)

7. The Guest OCN (8/10)

8. Revenant (7/10)

9. Sky Castle (7/10)

10. All of Us are Dead (8/10)

11. Little Women (7/10)

12. Lies Hodden in My Garden (7/10)

13. Sweet Home (9/10)

14. Duty After School (7/10)

15. KinnPorsche (8/10)

16. The Eighth Sense (7/10)

17. Girl From Nowhere (8/10) (Thai Drama)

18. The Good Bad Mother (7/10)

19. D.P. (8/10)

20. Black Knight (7/10)

21. My Mister (9/10)

22. Bloodhounds (7/10)

23. Atelier (Jdrama) (8/10)

24. Moving (10/10)

25. Evilive (8/10)

26. Flower of Evil (8/10)

27. My Dearest (8/10)

28. The Deal (8/10)

29. Duty After School (6/10)

30. Vigilante (9/10)

31. The Killing Vote (7/10)

32. One Room Angel (8/10) (JDrama)

33. Extraordinary Attorney Woo (8/10)

34. Reborn Rich (8/10)

35. Taxi Driver (8/10)

36. Only Friends (7/10)

37. Home School (7/10) (Thai Drama)

38. Castaway Diva (8/10)

39. Celebrity (7/10)

40. Last Twilight (8/10) (Thai Drama)

41. My Personal Weatherman (8/10) (Jdrama)

42. Black Knight (7/10)

43. Perfect Marriage Revenge (8/10)

#actually I made this list for me so that I don't forget. sorry. #kdrama #p #fr #k-drama #kdrama edit #the devil judge #beyond evil #kinnporsche #weak hero class 1 #evilive #my dearest #blah blah #etc.

[dragonridernoobie]

Hi again!

May I ask you to write,when reader comes to the Autobot base/ship Nemesis with a black eye and refuses to explaint how she got it?

I tried my best and added some of my own stuff in this.

🚫Sensitive Themes🚫

TransformersPrimeXHurtReader

Autobots

Optimus

Optimus will be picking up reader from school/work.

He would noticed reader having a black eye.

He would ask what happened and if reader was OK.

Reader will just shrug him off and say they dident want to talk about it.

Optimus will accept their wishes but will worry about them.

If he sees reader continue being hurt he will have enough.

He will park on the edge of the road and not let reader go intel he he knows what's wrong.

Reader will break and tell optimus what happened.

Optimus will understand and tell them it's gonna be ok and to stand up for themselves.

He might or might not come in his haloform and scare off the bully.

Ratchet

He will noticed how reader will show signs of hurting at base.

From reader wincing from sitting up or sitting down to reader tearing up.

He would have enough and take reader to the medbay and scans them.

He will see them having old and new bruises and cracked bones.

He would be surprised, furious, and worried.

Furious that reader dident tell him anything, sad that reader is hurt and worried that reader is hidding this.

He will ask and not let reader leave I tel they say.

Reader will explain they are being abused by their parents.

He would be furious and tell Agent William Fowler.

Bumblebee

He saw reader get hit by a passing car.

He would immediately go into his haloform and go over to reader

Reader will be hurt badly.

He would immediately call for a groundbridge and bring reader back to base.

Ratchet will be their to help reader.

Bumblebee will blame himself for not spotting the car before reader crossed.

Optimus will help him calm down.

Once reader was OK he will constantly say he was sorry.

Reader will have to help him calm down to.

Reader will have to explain that it was an asshole driver and not his fault.

Bumblebee will need alot of snuggles.

Decpticons

Megatron

Megatron will come across reader in the storage room crying.

He will act he dosent care but he does.

He will ask what's wrong and when reader explains that starscream hurt them he would be mad.

How dare starscream hurt is favorite human. (😏)

He will immediately take reader to the medbay and make sure reader is healed by knockout.

Once reader is healed, he will go deal with starscream.

Starscream screams and pleads will be heared across the warship.

Megatron made sure to take the night off and give reader alot of snuggles.

Soundwave

Soundwave will be at readers work in his haloform.

Reader is a police officer and when Soundwave sees them, he is met with reader bandage up.

He will ask if they where ok and what happened.

Reader explains they can't say since it's classified.

Once at the warship, Soundwave will spend his time with reader.

Once reader is asleep, Soundwave is on a man hunt.

He finds the criminal that hurt reader and the next day he is found dead.

Reader has a suspicion what happened to them but they will keep it to themselves.

Starscream

Reader went out with knockout and breakdown for a mission.

Reader dident return.

Starscream went to go find them.

He finds them hurt in the forest and asked what happened.

Reader will explain that knockout and breakdown got scared by the autobots and left them.

Starscream will be so fucking pissed that he will take reader, return to the warship and tear knockout and breakdown a new one.

Ocne he does, starscream will take reader to a human clinic since he doesn't trust knockout or breakdown right now.

Starscream is sweet but in his own way.

Starscream makes sure to give reader some love.

Some art from @tea333love who also put in this request!

#headcanon #transformers tfp #x reader #tfp optimus prime #optimus x reader #tfp ratchet #ratchet x reader #tfp megatron #megatron tfp x reader #starscream x reader #soundwave tfp x reader #megatron x reader #soundwave x reader #bumblebee x reader #bumblebee tfp #transformers prime

[chryzure]

thinking abt my black ocn au where chrysijacks are SUPER divorced (trysi SUPER exes too, but azure’s in tris’s body now, so the vibes are weird) and yet. jacks still gets stabbed for chrysi. and when they’re hiding from their assailant, chrysi holding jacks and oscillating between being furious with him and also very, very frightened for her friend bleeding out in her arms, jacks finally asks chrysi out. she starts laugh-crying because where the hell was this proposal in high school, when she was into him? and yes. we’re dying anyway, so sure, we can date for the last couple hours we’re alive.

#memorie.txt #s.chrysijacks #then they live and chrysi’s like hmmm. okay that wasn’t a binding promise of love. we are BROKEN UP again!!! #and jacks is like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I GOT STABBED FOR A THREE DAY GF DEAL??????

[phant0m-l0rd]

I posted 858 times in 2022

That's 342 more posts than 2021!

60 posts created (7%)

798 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ranuunculus

@jaymzhetfield

@cupofteaandstars

@japanese-zombie-heroez

@yridenergyridenergy

I tagged 749 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#dir en grey - 242 posts

#kyo - 160 posts

#fan art - 107 posts

#京 - 60 posts

#kaoru - 54 posts

#tvn stranger - 51 posts

#toshiya - 42 posts

#ocn the guest - 40 posts

#queue - 34 posts

#fanart - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#been obsessed with this song recently and it's cool getting a better glimpse into its meaning beyond what i'd gathered from the music video

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Kaoru with flowers~

(rollerball gel pens, alcohol markers, coloured pencils, white posca pen, magazine cutout, flower petals)

51 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

Kyo with flowers~

(digital art)

54 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

#3

drew Kyo again cuz I once again felt like using lots of red~

(red & black posca pens, black coloured pencil, fineliners)

73 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#2

a precious bookmark~

have this short Stranger / Secret Forest comic based on an idea I had last year but never got around to drawing until now~

I just liked the thought of Si-mok using one of Yeo-jin's drawings as a bookmark~

(limited colour palette with 6 rollerball gel pens)

93 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

have a drawing I just did of Kyo~

(India ink brush pen, ballpoint pen, red posca pen, rollerball gel pens)

111 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #none of this is surprising

[petrichorblue94]

Moon in the day is giving me serious OCN Black vibes

#moon in the day #ocn black

[tmwmap]

스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기

스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 링크 <<

스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 좌표 <<

“이 근처에 폐허 없니? 문을 찾고 있어” 규슈의 한적한 마을에 살고 있는 소녀 ‘스즈메’는 문을 찾아 여행 중인 청년 ‘소타’를 만난다.

그의 뒤를 쫓아 산속 폐허에서 발견한 낡은 문. ‘스즈메’가 무언가에 이끌리듯 문을 열자 마을에 재난의 위기가 닥쳐오고 가문 대대로 문 너머의 재난을 봉인하는 ‘소타’를 도와 간신히 문을 닫는다.

“닫아야만 하잖아요, 여기를!” 재난을 막았다는 안도감도 잠시, 수수께끼의 고양이 ‘다이진’이 나타나 ‘소타’를 의자로 바꿔 버리고 일본 각지의 폐허에 재난을 부르는 문이 열리기 시작하자 ‘스즈메’는 의자가 된 ‘소타’와 함께 재난을 막기 위한 여정에 나선다.

“꿈이 아니었어” 규슈, 시코쿠, 고베, 도쿄 재난을 막기 위해 일본 전역을 돌며 필사적으로 문을 닫아가던 중 어릴 적 고향에 닿은 ‘스즈메’는 잊고 있던 진실과 마주하게 되는데…

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 HD 다시보기

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 링크

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 무료보기 FULL MOVIE

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 2023 극장판 영화 자막

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 쿠키 1080P

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 720P

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 온라인 풀버전

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 몰아보기 480P Blueray

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 드라마 디즈니 플러스 넷플릭스

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 1회 2회 3회 4회 5회 6회 7회 8회 9회 10회 11회 12회 13회 14회 15회 16회 완결 전편 모음 TORRENT 토렌트 스트리밍 보는곳 보는법

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 1화 2화 3화 4화 5화 6화 7화 8화 9화 10화 11화 12화 13화 14화 15화 16화 마그넷 SBS 유투브 JTBC 애플티비 MBC KBS2 TVN 결말 후기 리뷰

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 시청률 몇부작 등장인물 인물관계도 한글 자막 OCN 드라마 웨이브

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 다운로드 HD TV 고화질 AVI MP4

스즈메의 문단속 다시보기 다시보기 E01 E02 E03 E04 E05 E06 E07 E08 E09 E10 E11 E12 E13 E14 E15 E16 다시보기 ENA 티빙 드라마 링크

Requires a Bittuner Dragon as a material. Basically, Beasted monsters are composed of 6 levels, so if you use a 4th level tuner, it is easy to summon even within Beasted. There are various 4th level tuners that will be used in the Beasted deck, such as The Beasted Alver and Hyuk's Saint Cartesia. 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 Even if it is not a Dragon-type deck, when using it for general purpose, you can summon it using Stardust Dragon with Accel Sync. Of course, Bisted can use this method by using Shinovinecro. It's also a good idea to use Assault Synchron.

An activation effect that specially summons a light/dark attribute monster that is excluded from the effect of ① to your field. When summoning Bisted, 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 you must have excluded light/dark attribute monsters from yourself or your opponent's Graveyard, so you usually summon those monsters. If you choose the other side, you will be indirectly stealing control, but since it is dependent on the opponent, you will have to return the monster on this side.

Excluding Bisted, there are many Dragon-type monsters that exclude or are related to monsters in the summoning process. Such a card also works well 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 with Dispater. The effect of ① to summon the excluded monsters when summoning Disparter by excluding cards using the following cards: Soul Won Dragon Levionia, End Dragon Chaos Emperor, Sin Blue Eyes White Dragon, Black Feather Assault Dragon, Chaos Demon Dragon Chaos Ruler good compatibility with

The effect of ② is a triggering effect that returns the excluded card to the deck when the opponent activates a monster effect, destroys it if it returns to mine, and grants permission if the opponent's card is returned. Even if the excluded 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 card is face down, it can be returned to the deck. If you return mine, it will be destroyed, but it is difficult because the effect passes. So usually the move will be to return the opponent's card to the deck.

At the same level, there is no material restriction and there is Fleur de Baroness, which is a more general check, but this card can create synergy with Bisted's effect. It can be used in decks [3] that are difficult to play Baroness due to restrictions, etc., or, conversely, if it works out well, you can build it 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 with Baroness. In addition, it is also usefully used in other so-called Chaos decks, such as Punk Beasted and Junk Doppel [4] decks using Synchron cards that are supported in large numbers with braves. is also threatening.

After its release, it is active as a powerful large monster in various development decks, similar to what was expected. It seems to have succeeded in establishing itself as a top-notch synchro monster, such as making full use of Bisted's 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 powerful rear row, such as high RBI and excellent development support abilities such as recovery of excluded resources, permission, double branding, and branded beasts.

One of the monsters that boasts a particularly strong affinity is the PSY Frame Lord Ω, which has an effect that has no turn restriction and can blow the opponent's hand with 2 cards or less. 2.2. Settings[edit] The final boss of part 1 of the stigma story.

A form in which Dragma's Alberzoa (Maximus Dragma) has undergone another mutation. Albion, the true flame dragon that heals the people of Dragma who have become Despia by radiating power However, compared to Alberzoa, 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 his level dropped by 2, and his attack and defense decreased by 500. Grand Guignol and The Beasted Alberros, which had been ambitiously prepared, were defeated, and Bisted was mostly halved by the troops Kit brought and Tribrigade, and the power of the stigmata was suppressed and weakened by the power brought from Serions and Sprites. It seems to imply what it looks like. In the illustration, it can be seen that the ratio of the diamond shape above the head is 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 much smaller than that of Alber Zoa. outburst pattern

In this state, Albus, who has become a true flame dragon, is attacked by Shreig, the Tribrigade Bad Omen, and Fleurdrith, who has been resurrected wearing the shell of Despia, and fights against them, but is eventually pushed back, struck by Fleurdrith's lightning, and falls, ending Shreig's last battle. die by blow

List of included packs[edit] included pack card number rarity release country etc CYBERSTORM ACCESS CYAC-JP041 super rare secret rare Prismatic Secret Rare japan world's first

Related cards[edit] Maximus Dragma Maximus Dragma Dramatrugia Alberzoa from Dragma Maximus Dragma Despia's Dramatrugia Alberzoa from Dragma 4.1. Alber Zoa from Dragma[edit] Bisted Dispater Bisted Dispater

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Seongnam Express Delivery Quick Brothers www.1599-8330.com Seoul, Incheon, and Gyeonggi metropolitan area special quick, cheap rates, delivery anywhere in the country OK, card OK, kind consultation [1] Considering that the motif of Dragma's Alberzoa was Jesus and that Dispater was portrayed as a devil by Christian forces, Maximus transformed into Dispater, which was a god-like being served by Dragma in its own way, but rejected by Dragma. It can also be thought of as meaning that it has 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 fallen into existence. In fact, this card's level and stats are lower than Alber Zoa, and it is also a monster in the Extra Deck that was kept in check in Dragma. Also, it is named "God of the Abyss", but Alber Joa is the name of "White Heaven", and as seen in the Apostle of Heaven, Heaven is a similar concept to God. In other words, becoming Alberzoa-Dispater could mean falling from a god to a beast. [2] He was the grandson of Noah, and it is said that he landed on Britain alone after the great flood. [3] Representatively, there are dragon link decks and red demon decks. [4] In Chaos Deck and Junk Doppel Deck, it is evaluated that it has a strong compatibility with various 스즈메의 문단속 다시 보기 누누 자막 무료보기 cards such as Chaos Demon Dragon and Assault Synchron released earlier.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

something i’m curious about: i know you have lots of comfort movies, and with Stranger Things and AHS (which i’ve started watching again thanks to you lol) aside, what’s another comfort tv show you enjoy?

I love how you had to clarify the media type hhh you know me so well😂😭💗

Hmm… okay, lemme think…

Doctor Who (Doctors 9 - 13)

NBC’s Hannibal

Ash VS Evil Dead (regularly fall asleep watching this one!!!!)

OCN’s Black (my all time FAVOURITE K-Drama)

And I also used to watch Criminal Minds a lot but I stopped after Thomas Gibson got kicked off the show. It’s just not the same without our Hotch🥺💔

What about you, Lys?

[teafiend]

#jung eun chae #kang gil young #the guest #ocn the guest #sohn the guest #then we get clean scenes like these #with little distraction and full of a certain quietness to them #and I just simp over how black and beautiful JEC’s hair and eyebrows are #how well they contrasted with her fair fair and lustrous skin #and of course how well KJU’s sculpturally definitely features complemented hers when next to each other #just wanted to gush #a bit of CY just because they look absolutely fabulous together #choi yoon #just love the ways the drama was shot/staged/presented #they speak to me like very few other shows did #it is something special #whatever show/aesthetics/visuals/story it is which work for people #trying to hold on to that fixation just that few days longer #thank you TG

[ajokeformur-ray]

I will always find it somewhat funny that a K-Drama about grim reapers, death and other extremely sensitive topics made me want to try again and keep living five years ago. It’s ironic in a really bittersweet way that beings of death made me want to live.

When I made that decision and around the time I wanted to act on it, I found this show. I needed it and the many messages within, I needed the characters, I needed the atmosphere and the lessons. It became a nightly tradition; one episode a night until the show was finished and I SWEAR it cracked through my defensive apathy and made me feel again. This show made everything came crumbling down so I could start to clean up the mess. If I did as I planned then I wouldn’t have been able to finish the show, was my thinking on the first episode and by the last episode, I no longer wanted to carry out my plan and I was starting to make very real changes to put my life back together. (Which is why I always say that if it gets you through the day, who cares if other people think it’s silly? If it helps you, it helps you.)

It’s that time of year where I had the plan five years ago and the time of year when I found this show, and as always around the anniversary, I rewatch the show (OCN’s Black). It’s a dark show in many ways so it only feels right to watch it in the winter when it’s dark and cold in the show AND outside the house. Immersion and all that. This K-Drama reminds me of how far I’ve come since that time of my life (the darkest so far), it reminds me of all the pain I was in and all the hard work I put into myself to get better (therapy is inaccessible to me in multiple ways and as a psychology student I find that strange too). I only ever had myself in that time of my life; I have more friends and more support now. But given the circumstances, I don’t think I’ve done too badly in rearranging myself and my life. There’s always room for improvement, of course. But I’m better than I was and that’s something.

I like to think that every time I revisit this show, the characters within are as happy to see me as I am to see them; it very much feels like a reunion with them as well as with myself and the various Erikas of the last five years who faithfully tune into this show again once a year.

Anyway, as a lyric of the theme song between the two leads goes, now that my eyes dry, I go on, just for you.

(This is intended to be read with an appreciative and reflective tone towards myself, even with the heavy subject matter.)

#tw; suicidal ideation #tw; death #tw; depression #tw; negativity #(but not really) #if you think this needs another tag please let me know!!