also thinking about the tiny detail of ray being bored out of his mind while keeping mew company, showing no interest in something mew loves dearly – while, from the very first moment, he's been completely obsessed with any little thing sand has ever shown him; everything sand loves or does fascinates ray
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Imagine it's your birthday and you're not really a huge fan of parties so you don't really announce it and your friend/sex buddy/not boyfriend wants you to jerk him off which gets interrupted so he then decides to spend the whole day with you so you guys go on a not-date when halfway through it your mom calls you and says there's debt collectors at her door so you rush over with your Guy and find it's just a surprise birthday party at the go go bar you were raised in (but it's not even technically your birthday yet) and you coerce your not-boyfriend-not-friend into serenading you and your mom nudges you and you kind of admit you might like this guy and you go home and get high + drunk with Pretty Boy and get cockblocked Again by your roommate and his definitely-not-crush who happens to be your boy's friend, so all four of you get high together and you find out your not-crush is in fact in love with a friend of several years and is using you as a rebound. And your name is Sand because your mom conceived you on the beach. What would you even do.
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I never thought I would watch that scene of Ray shoving Sand and screaming "What are we to each other?" and come out of it on Ray's side but holy fucking shit Khaotung has done it again.
but i can't get this look out of my head and i'm sure everyone will have their own interpretation of it and that's part of the brilliance of it but to me he looks so utterly betrayed.
Combined with the fact that he had walked into that pool bar with a completely different mood than where Sand had taken him.
He comes in immediately ready to talk things through. We know very well what someone looks like when they're trying to avoid talking about something. Boston does this to Nick all the time, constantly deflect and damage control but Ray is here with his whole chest out ready to have a conversation about them.
And Sand just...shuts him out:
For god's sake he's pouting.
And the second Sand says he wants to talk about Mew Ray opens up yet again:
He wants so badly for a chance to explain. Sand shut him out on the night of Boston's reveal when he wanted to explain and he does it again and for some reason this is the one boundary of Sand's that Ray has decided he will absolutely respect.
And then to finally hear what he's probably been waiting to hear from Sand this whole time (that he cares about Ray) and for it to be in this horrible context? He had been aching to hear this from Sand at the pool bar. He might also be realizing that when Sand told him about the sound clip he had lied about not caring that Ray likes Mew after all? That Sand had said that to use him. God I hate it here.
Of course he can't see that you really like him, Sand. His mother killed herself because of how miserable he made her (at least thats what he believes). How can he see that you care about him? How can he know what that means?
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I think it's interesting that everyone sends aware that Boston is useless in their group project, that he's a liability more than anything, but they don't seem to expect more of him?
But mostly, I am obsessed with Ray's little jaw clench when Cheum says Boston's name.
And he remains hurt and distant at the diner, while Boston radiates smug satisfaction at Ray's upset and discomfort, and Mew and Cheum ignore it. Ray doesn't say anything the whole scene, except to ask about Mew's glasses-- asking if he's going to fix them, concerned they're broken-- and no one tries to talk to him.
Boston's potential relationship happiness is brought up, and Ray looks surprised and quietly devastated (interesting that no one noticed when Ray was starting something with Sand, when Ray had potential happiness blooming, but not surprising).
And then we get another jaw clench.
Another moment where Ray is outside of his friends group (air quotes heavily implied), and no one reaches out to him. But it's important that he looks at everyone before it happens, not just Boston.
Anyway, I love Ray a normal amount, and I kinda hate everyone else at that table.
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I just- okay, yes Sand is down bad to the point that he can’t say no to Ray even once after they slept together but… Ray went to a whole ass party serving alcohol and managed to stay SOBER because he wanted to drive Sand home.
God these two are waaay in over their heads. This is gonna hurt
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I am lost the hands and the fingers and the music and the longing and the touch and the seeking and what they want and what they fear and the trophy is a heart but can a heart really be a trophy you win? Can Ray really, finally, release Mew from being the his emergency contact and accept a new love into his heart without ripping both of them to pieces first?
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I love Ray's outfits so much but I cannot stop laughing because like
Ray standing in front of his closet, insanely hungover and heartbroken: I have Got to serve
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