#once again I find myself asking what fucking tags the hockey people use

[holyprincenerd]

In today’s Käärijä related news

I’d like to inform you that Cha Cha Cha was played at the NHL playoffs! 💚🐛🫡

Here’s a video of the Finnish commentator noticing the song getting played:

https://www.tiktok.com/@masahockeyclips/video/7233695830543256858?_r=1&_t=8cVtvFxo9b1

And here he is pointing it out again:

https://www.tiktok.com/@masahockeyclips/video/7234767316783828251?_r=1&_t=8cVu6MFxPBq

#käärijä #esc 2023 #eurovision #finland #nhl #nhl playoffs #nhl 2023 #once again I find myself asking what fucking tags the hockey people use #hockey #I may have to revoke my Nordic citizenship for just not understanding hockey or the appeal #the closest I've ever come to enjoying hockey is enjoying the PLAYERS which is #you know #i mean definitely an experience in and of itself

[fallish]

i will absoluely take this baton, thank you for tagging @fairlylokai 🥰

1 ) do you make your bed? the truth is i tried for a while and i still do try occasionally but a majority of the time it ends up with me sleeping on top of a comforter because my brain cant put together the effort to pull it back and actually get in. im going to go with no (despite the state of my very made bed that i am currently sitting on at the time of this post)

2 ) what's your favourite number? two-way tie between 58 and 87. iykyk ;)

3 ) what is your job? im a software developer, its kinda a boring title but im getting good at it!

4 ) If you could go back to school would you? it really depends on the day you ask me this one. like generally? fuck no, it was hell on my adhd. on a particularly self destructive day? yeah and i might finish a college application before deciding to sleep on any major life decisions (and then i wont do it! 10pm rule that shit!)

5 ) can you parallel park? yes! i used to be the only one of my friends who could but i live on a street with only parallel parking and i think theyre getting better at it :D

6 ) a job you had that would surprise people? i used to be a camp counselor for one summer! everyone used to always tell me id be bad with kids because i didnt really like them, and i actually tried failing this interview but i guess they needed people, so i got the job. i got on swell with the kids! uh. not so much with the other adults tho. i accidentally made the ice tea spiked at the end of the summer and needless to say i was not invited back. i look back on it fondly :)

7 ) do you think aliens are real? of course. its unthinkable that humans are the only ones around in the whole universe. as they say, life finds a way

8 ) can you drive a manual car? nope. dated a guy who did once, and im ngl i was kinda into it, but i never learned myself.

9 ) what's your guilty pleasure? k pop photo cards 🙈 while I agree that guilt is for the weak, I do think I spend an unreasonable amount of money on those

10 ) tattoos? not yet, but ive got plans. my mom is super against them so while im at home, i cant. when i move out tho, i really want to get a set of wings in honor of ffvii (the first video game i finished)

11 ) favourite colour? i like yellow, like the mustardy kind but im partial to green and black

12 ) favourite type of music? i spend a lot of my attention on the punk/rock so like fall out boy and mayday parade and i listen to a lot of indie shit like glass animals and basement punk like the front bottoms and mobo, and recently im into kpop, particularly zerobaseone. also! i suspenct that no matter what, if i like the rhythm of the rap put in front of me, its highly likely ill enjoy it

13 ) do you like puzzles? i like puzzles so much i made it my job! one could absolutely say i like puzzles lol, me and my sister used to do them a lot and for her last birthday i got her a 10 pack.

14 ) any phobias? im not fond of men with raised voices, but on a lighter note, i wont go more than 5 feet into the ocean because i grew up in jersey on movies like jaws that made me wuite scared of shark attacks

15 ) favourite childhood sport? i uh didnt play sports 🫡 i liked watching hockey though and i still watch nhl hockey now! so that might count?

16 ) do you talk to yourself? oh yeah. all the time. i cant do tasks if i dont talk myself through them. it might not be out loud all the time (i respect public spaces and the quiet associated with them) but theres a constant running monologue i promise.

17 ) what movie(s) do you adore? cheesy answer but i LOVE inception its one of my all time top 5 movies i could watch it in any mood and it would amaze me.

18 ) coffee or tea? i like both, i prefer tea, but im not allowing myself to have either right now. im trying to get myself off of caffeine again because i recently started going back to work and drinking more coffee and what do you know? my migraines made a comeback

19 ) first thing you wanted to be growing up? i wanted to be a famous singer, and sometimes i still want to make music but i dont know, i guess it got away from me at some point. i still make little singing audios and send them to my friends and my mom always says i have a nice voice so the dream stays alive :)

thanks again for tagging! im going to tag @doomcannotbethisadorable @alittlebitofrainbyyourside @sherlockholmeson and anyone who wants to do participate!!

#b talk #thank you for the tag i love doing these!!!

[princessphilly]

Word Count: 4131

Tags:  @ohpuckyeah​, @joelsfarabee​, @besthockeyfics​. @dreamer1430​ @Defiant-Mouse @miracleonice87​ @lovethepreds​ @linkingdolans​ @chicagostylehockey​ @heatherlcrosby87​ @hockeywocs​ @shortstacks-blog​ @heatherawoowoo​ @newlibrary​ @markymarkstrom​ @iangiemae​ @puckbitchesgetmoney​ @missymore​ @himbos-on-ice​ @fiveholegoal​ @no-pucks-given​ @pagirl6866​ @willieshakesqueer​ @nazdaddy​ @whatishockey​ @alphalib22​ @romanseggy​ @laurenairay​ @texanstarslove​ @konecny-s​ @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87​ @extratragic​

join the tag list here!

CW: angst, angst, angst, angst, bad language, references to racism, angst.

“Bitch, if you do this, you are so dumb,” Jamila yelled over the group FaceTime. Lauren and Siobhan nodded while Karesha rolled her eyes at Nina.

Desiree stated, “You know how I feel about men butttt, you being dumb.”

“Jamila, do something dumb and take a picture with that guy you told us you fucked. I thought you said he was a hockey player. Distract the haters from Nina,” Karesha suggested.

Lauren added, “That’s a good idea.”

“Hold up, hold up, I told everyone about him because I DON’T plan on fucking him again. That dick was way tooooo good. Hell no,” Jamila exclaimed. 

Everyone snickered after that comment and Jamila pouted. Nina took in a deep breath. “I-I, I just can’t. I got people calling me all kinds of names, bitches stopping by my job taking pics, people. Then I got people who are being extra friendly to me and I just want to hide. Now, my lil cousin showed me that I got fangirls on tumblr! The hell??”

Jamila grimaced. “That’s part of fame.”

“I didn’t ask for this shit! He DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND NOW THE WORLD IS TREATING ME LIKE I’M HIS GIRL,” Nina yelled. 

The chat got quiet for a couple minutes before Siobhan said, “Well, that was dumb on his part. So excited to finally get a chance that he’s fucking it up. Men.”

Desiree snickered before her face turned serious. “I think our girl caught feelings too. The Nina I know normally doesn’t have to make a decision with her girls about dropping a guy. She just does it.”

“But she’s telling us because she really doesn’t want to,” Lauren said with a smirk. 

Nina glared at her friends. They weren’t getting it. But before she could say anything else, Siobhan quietly said, “I hope you aren’t comparing yourself to his teammates’ girlfriends and wives. But I think you are.”

Sighing, NIna said, “I met them and while they were mostly nice, I’m a milk dud in a sea of milk. I stick out too much. Despite what they are all saying, Sidney’s just messing with me until he finds another, more suitable blonde.”

Nina’s friends all stared at Nina over the FaceTime chat before erupting. Then Lauren finally said over the furor, “I understand… because yeah, same shit with my ex. I was good enough until he met the perfect white girl of his dreams, no offense Siobhan. But, remember that night when that guy followed me? Trust me, I saw the way Sidney fucking Crosby was looking at you. If he’s looking just to play you before finding someone else, fuck, I’ll buy you a fucking Birkin.”

“Whoa,” Jamila and Desiree both uttered. Lauren was the stingiest of all of them so for her to talk about spending thousands of dollars on something, it had to be real. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice and everything but I need a break from all of this to recalibrate,” Nina finally said. “And we were supposed to be planning our trip since we couldn’t go anywhere overseas the past two years anyway.”

“Okay, let's talk about places to go because I want to go to Thailand,” Desiree replied, allowing Nina to change the subject. 

Nina let out a breath as everyone started talking about places to visit. Before their conversation tonight, she was sure that breaking it off was a good idea. Now, she was just confused.

**

“Hi, pretty girl,” Sidney drawled over the phone. 

Nina couldn’t help the shy smile come on her face at the pet name. “Hi, Sidney.”

Sidney frowned. Nina usually called him Sid now, Sidney Crosby if she was annoyed, Mr. Crosby if she was feeling sassy. Something felt off but he decided to ignore it for now. “Mario and Nathalie wanted to know if you were available for dinner next Sunday. Nathalie would love to meet you.”

“Hmm, I have an early class Monday morning so I’d just do dinner and that’s it,” NIna said. 

Sidney inwardly sighed. Maybe Nina was off because she decided to go back to school and she was starting to get in the middle of the semester. Maybe that was it. “So, do you want to come? I’ll pick you up and drop you off?”

“Just that, I need to be able to think on Monday so you can’t stay over,” Nina joked. 

Sidney snickered. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll be good and keep my hands to myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ll keep my hands to myself, pretty girl, but we both know how much you love it when I touch you. Your skin is so soft and you feel so good.”

Nina gasped and Sidney felt like he heard her try to hold back a moan. He continued, “Especially when you make those little sounds-”

“Bye Sid,” Nina said firmly, trying to keep her mind from going into the gutter. It didn’t work when he laughed and she felt her core throb. Not even that filthy and she was ready to spread her legs for him. Nina was disappointed in herself. 

Sidney responded, “Bye, pretty girl.”

**

Sidney could tell that Nina was still off during dinner with Mario and Nathalie. She was herself; sparkling, kind, and sweet but Sidney could tell that she was going through the motions. He was feeling a bit frustrated; he didn’t know what was wrong so he could fix it. But something was wrong. 

Nina was truly enjoying herself as she talked with Mario and Nathalie but it felt like something was going on that she didn’t get. Like, the way they were looking at her, it felt like she was missing something. At the same time, the Lemieuxs’ were the quintessential hosts and Nina felt honored to have even stepped foot in their home, let alone had dinner with them. 

Later that night, after Sidney and Mario had stepped out to talk hockey, Nina rubbed her eyes. She suddenly felt super tired and she didn’t know why.

“You look tired,” Nathalie commented.

Nina shrugged before replying, “It’s been a lot going on.”

“Why do I feel like Sidney, who is normally good and planning and looking at all sides, just jumped into everything with you?”

Nina looked at Nathalie. Nathalie had a sympathetic expression on her face. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Nina said as she looked at her nails. “I don’t even know what is going on between Sidney and I anyway.”

Nathalie had a shocked expression on her face as she stated, “I had the impression that you two are a couple?”

“Everyone says we are a couple but I was never asked about being in a couple,” Nina grumbled. 

Nathalie wanted to shake Sidney. Even though she had heard only good things about Nina, Nathalie was prepared to judge her with a clean slate. After tonight, Nathalie really liked her, especially her independent spirit, something that would be very necessary for her dealing with Sidney and his life. But now, Nathalie really wanted to shake that boy hard because like most men, he put the cart before the horse. If she was a betting woman, Nathalie would bet that Nina was going to run screaming any moment now. 

Nina continued, “I like him but.. I really don’t like him right now, do you understand?”

“I totally understand. Mario told me about all of the internet hate you’re receiving. I’m lucky that the internet didn’t exist the way it does now when Mario and I first started dating and got married,” Nathalie commiserated. 

Nina took in several deep breaths. “I know everyone has said to ignore what other people are saying but, I’m just overwhelmed, you know.”

Nathalie decided that she was going to shake Sidney the next time she saw him after tonight. ‘Poor girl,’ she thought. 

Before the conversation could continue, the guys came back in and Nathalie saw Nina shut down and paste a pretty smile on her face. Nathalie sent Mario a look of concern as she watched Nina grip her glass tight.

Sidney noticed the same thing as Nathalie when he returned with Mario. As he made their way towards Nina’s apartment, Sidney asked, “Is everything okay? You seemed stressed.”

Nina took in a deep breath. It was either now or never. “This is going too fast, I need a break.”

Sidney flushed, his hand shaking around the steering wheel. Trying to keep his voice level, he asked, “What do you mean you need a break?”

Nina took in a deep breath. “This is too much. I agreed to go out with you once and now, I’ve been introduced to all your teammate’s significant others, met Mrs. Lemieux and it’s like you’re treating me like I'm your girlfriend.”

“But you are!”

“How?! How the hell am I your girlfriend when you never ever asked me? When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” Nina fumed. “You put me in a situation I didn’t even agree to. I have people coming to my job just to try to get a picture of me; people who would stake out my apartment if I didn’t have a doorman and security in my building. Your team’s PR is monitoring my social media accounts because every other dm i get is the n-word.”

Sidney paled and Nina continued, “Yeah, you just realized you did all this and you didn’t even ask if I wanted to be your girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry but fuck, I’ve always wanted you to be my girlfriend. I just assumed you felt the same,” Sidney protested. 

“Sidney, it’s just TOO much. I need time to process, I need a break. A break from you,” Nina said firmly. 

Sidney resisted the urge to yell at Nina. Yes, he fucked up by not asking her to be his girlfriend before everything but at the same time, he just wanted her to listen. But Nina seemed like she didn’t want to listen to anything. So instead, he asked, “How long do you want a break?”

“I don’t know… I mean, it could be a couple of weeks,” Nina replied. 

Sidney sat there stone faced as he drove. He didn’t know what to say. Sidney could feel his heart breaking into two for the first time ever and it was painful as hell. It was even more painful than when the Red Wings lifted the Cup in his first ever Stanley Cup finals. 

Nina picked at her nails. She thought she would feel relief but now, she felt worse than before. The silence felt deafening and oppressive until they reached her building. Sidney finally said, “I’ll give you space.”

“Thank you,” Nina quietly responded. Letting herself out of the car quietly, Nina sniffled. Holding herself together, she was able to just make it inside of her apartment before she started to cry. 

**

Karesha stared at her friend, not sure if she should shake her or hug her. Nina was in her work clothes, a fake smile on her face as she let Karesha into her apartment. Terrible Tess and Steely came running up to Karesha. After giving the pets some love, Karesha asked, “What did you do?”

Nina looked to the side. “I told him I needed a break.”

Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Karesha stared at Nina again. She needed to shake her, definitely shake her. 

“Why?”

Nina closed her eyes before flopping on her couch. Karesha sat next to her and Nina put her hands over her face. “Look at me and look at him! Sidney’s fucking rich, famous, and such an awesome hockey player. I drive an used Lexus RX, I’m broke as fuck compared to him, and I’m not the kind of woman who ends up with a guy like him,” Nina mumbled. 

Karesha closed her eyes and counted to ten. Patience wasn’t her strong suit, especially with her friend who was normally the most cool, calm, and collected out of all of them. “Nina… trust me, you know I’ve done all kinds of shit. I’ve done shit that I’ll take to the grave with me. So trust me when I say, Sidney really, really likes you.” 

Karesha almost said “loves you” but she felt like that would have been too much as Nina shook her head. Nina said, “He probably just wanted to fuck me because I was unavailable for so long.”

“Girl… if he just wanted to say he smashed, he wouldn’t have taken you to dinner with one of his best friends, the Pens org wouldn’t have gotten involved when people were calling you names online, especially Mario fucking Lemieux. He fucking told you that the Lemieuxs had invited you two for dinner before you told him you needed a break. You’re more than a fucking fling.”

“Yeah, he’d do all that and then dump me when he met someone more appropriate,” Nina argued.

Karesha shook Nina before yelling, “Stop going online where the dumb fangirls and the haters are trying to fuck with your mind. It’s all bullshit. That man would do anything for you.”

Nina sat there, stony-faced while Karesha talked. ‘Like a fucking Aries,’ she thought. ‘So fucking stubborn.’ 

“Anyway, I brought cake and let's watch some trashy shit. Which Real Housewives are we watching, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, or old school New Jersey,” Karesha finally asked, changing the subject.

Nina decided, “I’m in the mood for ratchet so Atlanta. But I can’t watch too much, I have to study.”

“Study for what,” Karesha asked as she opened a bottle of wine. 

“I decided to go back for my PhD in rehabilitative science,” Nina replied. “Two more years of school but I’m excited.”

Karesha took a sip of her wine as Nina bit into a cupcake. “When were you going to tell anyone?”

“I had told Sidney-,” Nina began before she stopped. Nina closed her eyes when she realized the first person she told about her plans to get her PhD was Sidney before telling her family and her friends.

“Umm hmm.”

Karesha gave Nina a sly glance. She decided not to push it for now but it was obvious to her that Nina was lying to herself. Karesha knew her friend; unlike herself, Lauren, and Jamila, Nina tended to fall slowly but when she fell, she fell hard. So, in Karesha’s mind, Nina had to have started falling for Sidney back when she was working at the Lemieux Center, that was the only reason why Nina went out with him after she finally fucked him. Unlike the rest of them, Nina was the best at separating sex from feelings which had made her the queen of one night stands when they were younger. Sidney Crosby had quickly become more than a one night stand which convinced Karesha that Nina had feelings. 

Even though their conversation turned to the TV, Karesha made some mental plans to help her friend get back with her man, even though Nina wouldn’t admit to herself that he was her man.

**

Two Weeks Later

Sidney really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone but some of the Pirates had come to the game. It was always good to be friendly with fellow athletes. But he had been in a funk ever since Nina said she wanted a break. Sidney was trying his best to give Nina space but she hadn’t even responded to his texts or calls. It felt like she was trying to break up with him and it hurt. At the same time, he didn’t want to push her. Nathalie had yelled at him and told him he had gone way too fast. But now, he felt like he was drowning and there was nothing to save him.

So, Sidney pasted in his best PR smile and mentally counted the minutes until when he could leave and drink his frustration away. Then a short Black woman stepped in front of him. Sidney bit back a curse as she looked him up and down. Then she bluntly said, “you look just as fucking horrible as Nina does.”

Geno, Tanger, and Rusty all winced. No one has brought Nina up since Sidney said she wanted a break. But their captain was going through it and it sucked. They all just hoped Sidney wouldn’t unload on the woman who they all knew was dating one of the Pirates.

Then she smiled and said, “My name is Karesha Lewis and I’m going to go and shake some sense into my bestie. Because she’s being a fucking idiot. God, she’s being an idiot right now.”

Gregory started, “Resha, what are you doing?”

But Karesha gave Sidney a sly look. “Nina’s at home, eating ice cream and torturing herself with the idea that you’ve already got a hot blonde over her and you, frankly, look like shit. But for some reason, she thinks bullshit on the internet is true and that you never really liked her.”

Sidney’s expression went from annoyance to shock to fury. “I gotta go,” he bit out.

Karesha watched Sidney go, waving. Kris looked at her, incredulous. “Do you know what you did?”

“Trust me, Nina’s too stubborn to admit she’s wrong yet and I decided to have pity on The Kid. Don’t worry, I’m going to give the best matron of honor speech ever.”

Geno snickered. “I guess Sid taking maintenance day tomorrow.”

**

Notes for her class were all over her table but Nina’s mind was elsewhere. It had been two weeks since she told Sidney she wanted a break, two long weeks. And she was pissed at herself because she was missing the fucking idiot. 

Nina missed his texts, his calls, the way he listened to her when she talked. She missed his laugh, his single-mind superstitions he followed on every gameday. The random food deliveries, as if Sidney knew she had skipped a meal for work or class or homework. The book suggestions, singing along to horrible pop music, shit that Nina knew he didn’t do around other people. Then… the sex.

Nina groaned, flopping face first into her sofa pillows. She was sure she was probably missing him more than usual because she was on her period. Today was day four after three days of a heavy flow, a blessing because it meant Nina wasn’t pregnant and that was always a threat even with condoms. “I’m just emotional,” she mumbled as she lifted herself off her face and returned to sitting upright. 

Managing to return to studying, Nina was jolted out of her reverie by the ringing of her doorbell. Knowing she didn’t order anything this Saturday night, she pulled out her trusty baseball bat while Steely stood on alert next to her. Looking into the peephole, Nina inwardly groaned when she saw Sidney standing outside of her place. “Fuck,” Nina exclaimed as she opened the door, ushering Sidney in because the idea of someone selling pictures of him standing outside of her apartment because she wouldn’t let him in was more disturbing than ignoring him. 

Sidney came in, Steely began to yap in excitement while Terrible Tess jumped off her seat on top of the window sill to walk around Sidney’s ankles. “Hi,” Sidney said. 

Nina felt a bit bad as she looked at Sidney. He looked good as ever, his salt and pepper hair hair curling attractively on his forehead and neck. But she could see the bags under his eyes and it was obvious that Sidney was keeping it together enough for the ice but he was definitely suffering.

“Hi,” Nina replied, putting her baseball bat back in place. 

Sidney looked at it before blinking his eyes in surprise. “You were really going to hit me with that?”

“I’m living alone and it’s 11pm on a Saturday night and I didn’t order anything? Yeah!”

“Thank you for not hitting me,” Sidney said sincerely. 

Nina shrugged before crossing her arms over her chest. “What brings you around here?”

“Do you really believe I was just playing with you, using you until I find someone supposedly more appropriate,” Sidney asked with disbelief. 

“I-,” Nina started but Sidney interrupted her. “Did you really think I wanted to fuck you until I found someone else? That I just wanted you because I couldn’t have you for so long?”

“Yeah,” Nina finally replied with a shrug. “Look at me and look at you and look at everyone else around you. I stick out.”

“Because you’re Black, so?”

Nina looked at the ceiling, ready to rip Sidney a new one after that statement. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten so that she could make sure she cursed him out without crying. Then Sidney said, “I mean, I’m pretty fucking clueless when it comes to race but fuck, you think that I was planning to use you because you’re Black and when I got tired, I’d go back to “my” kind,” using air quotes around the word my. 

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Nina said. 

Sidney closed his eyes. Emotions weren’t the easiest for him but he knew he couldn’t fuck this up. Moving closer to Nina, he grasped her hand. “Look at me, pretty girl.”

Nina closed her eyes before looking at Sidney. Sidney quietly stated, “No one has made me feel the way that you do. You are one of the kindest, intelligent, sweet, and loving women I’ve ever met. You are the literal sunshine and I’d be the biggest fucking fool to dump you for someone else now that I’ve actually had the chance to be with you.”

“And you… all this shit got dumped on me and you didn’t even ask me to be your girlfriend,” Nina complained as Sidney rubbed her hand. 

Squeezing her hand, Sidney admitted, “I fucked up. I wanted to ask that first night but then we had to take care of your friend and I, I just kept forgetting to bring it up. But, I want you to be my girlfriend.” 

Sidney already knew that he wanted Nina to be more than his girlfriend but he already fucked up enough.

Nina couldn’t help it, she had to ask, “What about with the team and everything?”

“I invested well and if I lose endorsements, fuck it. As for the team, Mario, Nathalie and the guys love you so that doesn’t matter,” Sidney firmly stated. 

After a pause, Sidney grabbed Nina’s other hand. He softly said, “I understand if you don’t want to date me, I’m sorry for going too fast. But I’d like to try again.”

“Honestly, I gotta think about it,” Nina admitted. “You’re a lot and being with you will be a lot. I’ll have to give up a lot. I have to think about how to make it work, not just for me but for my family.”

Sidney nodded. He was a bit disappointed but he also understood because he remembered how when he first became famous, it was a lot. The pressure as a teen, then making it to the NHL, the changes for his family. Sidney totally understood what Nina meant. 

Nina leaned up, pressing a kiss to Sidney’s cheek. “I’m not mad at you, at least right now. But I can’t promise you anything except I’ll call you by Wednesday,” Nina promised.

Sidney nodded before Terrible Tess started meowing. Picking up the cat, he petted her. 

“I still can’t believe she likes you so much,” Nina muttered. 

Sidney shrugged. “She knows I’m special,” he joked. 

“Give me my cat!”

Nina opened her arms and Sidney passed Tess to Nina. Awkwardly, Sidney said, “I guess I should go.”

“Yes, you should because I need to study,” Nina quipped. “I have a paper to write.”

“Ugh.” Sidney wrinkled his nose. Papers were awful. “Talk to you later?”

Nina said, “Yes, we will. Bye Sid.”

“Bye Nina,” Sidney said as he opened the door. He couldn’t help but grin when he heard Nina close and lock the door behind him. She called him Sid, that meant something good.

**

Nina slept fitfully after working on her paper. After seeing Sidney last night, she realized just how much she missed him. Nina had been that close to sliding to her knees to blow him when she saw Sidney in his suit. But that would have been a very bad idea so she didn’t do it. 

Drawing a t-chart on a piece of paper, Nina labeled one side “Pros” and the other side “Cons”. As she started to list the pros and the cons, Nina realized the list of pros was longer than the list of cons. Rubbing her forehead, Nina murmured to herself, “I’m going to have to make yoga a definite part of my life now.”

Decision made, Nina reached for her phone.

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagines #Sidney Crosby imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl rpf #penguins imagines #penguin imagine #penguins imagine #penguin imagines #crosby fic #sidney crosby fic #angst #hockey rpf #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #all bets are off

[thesleepingbinch]

🥄🥄🥄

N O !

-Harrods? When? Have I, has the enterity of London – nay, the UK – unbeknowest of ourselves delighted in Certified Noob® Baked Goods? Världen är  p y t t e l i t e n  my fellow Barbarian. ‘Tis sad that you’re not there now.**    **(b/c #fikagoshdarnit!)

Ah, thanks a munch for clueing me in on The Spoon Theory as it applies here: units of energy-per-activity. Interesting. So, how many spoons do you have today? (And are they full of sugar, …or sourdough?) The whole low 🥄-status > doc > FK > managing basic life™ > lower 🥄-status > ♻ … Can’t imagine the added stress. Hopefully the doc<>FK correlation can solve that bit, at least (?). It should feel nice to know that you can start living and take steps forward in life, no?

Speaking of which; what would you like to do now moving forward (aside from nimble  b o i s)? You are obviously creative – and doing creative shenanigans should have positive effects on spoon status, right? Bonus: they are allowed to take however much time they take.

Getting out of your 🥄drawer now. Hope you’ve had a nice Midsommarhelg with the Noob Fam and given the chance to replenish the happy feels! :)

Love, W

*(Ps. did you get the card recs? No need to pub. Just checking, since Tumblr is a little godisgris, munching on asks & subs. Ds.)

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Ah, Raring Wemps! So I am finally sitting down to reply to this lovely master post after the longest wait in history! (I do feel better knowing you’ve been diving into the ocean and living in #smultronsnåret, can’t get better than that, can it?). Grab a cup of coffee and get comfortable because this will be quite the long read (förlåt).

It was a long time ago since I was in London. 2012 to be precise. It’s high up on my list of places to get back to (for living) once I get better and start getting all this illness stuff under control (DoucheDoc™ laughed when he asked me what my goal was and I bluntly said ‘To get good enough to get the fuck out of here and go back to exploring the world’. Admitting he couldn’t help me with that right now, he did say he appreciated the answer). However, my invitation for fresh sea delicacies if you’d ever come a little south of that N60° border is still open. 

Sadly the doc >> FK mess is getting even deeper. The “doctor” FK turns to for consultation when the medical issues exceed the normal levels they are used to seem to have absolutely no idea what ME/CFS is and is suggesting I am ill because I am inactive (while my specialist doctor think I am already almost doing too much for my condition before we have managed to find that fine line where it goes from being ok to too much), and need exercise therapy - something my specialist clinic doesn’t even offer because it has a higher rate of making people sicker than better. So things are gonna go further, we’re getting ready to make an appeal on their ruling, and I am just completely drained already. So things have not been looking great in this department - but I’ve managed to take some time off to be by the salty sea and watching horror movies until the morning light is coming up again with dear FreshNoob friends so even though one side of my life seem to be crashing and burning, it’s not all dark and dreadful! 

Creative things do have a MAJOR positive effect on both mood and in a sense my spoons as well (or rather, it is spoons well spent, if you catch my drift?). I am working on identifying what kind of things drain me of spoons and what could possibly give me some spoons or which - at the very least - give me a very positive emotional payoff doing. I am looking for ways to get my hands on an iPad Pro and Apple Pencil (my god why are they so expensive? :sweat: ), because that way I can bring my creative stuff with me everywhere and even do it on bed on the days when I am feeling too rough to do much. It could also serve as a smaller side income, selling prints and such, eventually ... so this is really an option I am looking into! 

Also, I absolutely LOVED your tarot suggestions, tack så hemskt mycket raring! And I did both laugh and get a little frustrated because the top deck you suggested (Jolandas) ... I already own. I just can’t find it. It’s a funny story, I went into her little shop in Gamla stan as a wee little 14-15ish year old Fresh Noob (so REALLY fresh) looking to dive into this mysterious world, and I got it and she signed the book for me (Krax pax!). I’ve been looking for this deck for months now, but I can’t find it. I’m scared one of my mum’s ex’s got it with him taking his stuff from the basement (a moment of silence, please ...). 

I’ve also already been throwing some serious eyes on The Wild Unknown deck, I love the colour bursts in it and the overall simple design is really appealing. I have had some mixed feelings wondering if perhaps it’s a little too simplistic and will be hard for someone new like me - but then, maybe I have enough creativity in my head to fill out the picture myself. A huge plus is that it’s fairly inexpensive to get as well (we really stan that at the moment with thet FK struggle!).

Scouting the vast interwebs trying to find a tarot deck for my dear Bästis after she expressed interest in getting one herself after seeing my deck on the table, I did stumble upon a real masterpiece though. I mean, it was love at first sight, I am obsessed. I check back at it like at least once a day and I am just like, ugh ... look at this thing! It’s the gilded Marigold Tarot deck. Quite a dark theme, but oh my, it’s absolutely gorgeous! I can’t get it out of my head! The $60-80 price tag is quite a hefty one though, at least for the time being. I can’t really justify spending that money on a tarot deck with the struggle currently going on with FK ... 

The deck I have right now is the Gateway to the Divine Tarot. It’s a really nice deck, very detailed and everything. But I just don’t vibe with it ... 😥😥😥 I pull cards, I look at them, and then I just sort of feel this ‘ugh’ feeling inside and shove them away. Because even though the imagery is really nice and eye-catching it doesn’t hold my attention and I just, ... I don’t like it? Does it make sense? Am I being a spoiled and difficult Fresh Noob here? lol 

Wemps raring, gosh, did that little mini forecast make me both happy and a little frustrated (I mean, the patience part ... I really have to work on that one, don’t I??). I did snort and laugh a little though when you said you got The Star, because ... lately I’ve been all surrounded by stars. My whole mantra/theme for July was in fact a star studded one! (And let’s not mention how my friend has been pushing for me to change camps and start rooting for a certain Star-named hockey team lately as well ...)

Also, a small story (because why not make this HUGE post even longer, right??) - I have a really special connection to the Sun card. Not particularly the meaning of it, but the name and the imagery. Darling Fresh Noob Granny passed away when I was a mere wee little girl of the small age of six. Way way too soon. We had quite a special bond, everyone always kept commenting on it, and she always called me her sun (and she was my moon). So whenever the sun card comes up (no matter what the position), Fresh Noob do get a little sappy and take it as a small nod from Granny. 

THAT’S IT. Gosh, what a lengthy blabbering drag this turned into. I’m sorry, raring Wempy. All the smultron and wienerbröd to you if you managed to stick through this all, you’ve earned them! Now, it’s time for this little one to get up and keep following her own star ... 

#Wempy Raring #longest rant in the history of fresh noob schmitting #star filled mush #submission

[limerenze]

storytime/rant: my ex boyfriends best friend tea + my love life

okay okay okay(take a shot every time I say: okay, so, basically)

so I’m so sorry to everyone who doesn’t care about my personal life bc sksksk I wouldn’t care about it either. anyways I really gotta let it all out and who better than to my tumblr followers 😫

also imma be changing the names of the two boys in this story bc this is like, a real story between me and real people in my life & idk I feel weird using their real names

—————

Okay so, when I moved to Calgary in 2014, I met this boy- lets call him Ethan.

We were dating by February 15, 2015. Keep in mind we are both only in sixth grade. (I’m in 10th grade now)

We stayed together all the way until May 2017- I ended up breaking up with him because some shit happened in my life that January.

Then we got back together in October 2017, and it was really nice because uh I loved that boy. But I broke up with him yet again in December. Mostly bc I was like “hey I’m way too depressed to love you right now I’m so sorry” and he was like “oh my god no it’s okay please work on urself I love u” (this is ninth grade now).

Honestly, Ethan was such a good boyfriend and I really did love him and maybe I still do who knows, actually I do uh- I was taught that you never stop loving your first love? so part of me will always love him? ya. I hope he finds someone that treats him the way he deserves because he really is amazing and I know someone will take advantage of him if he’s not careful.

So ya that was that. And that lasted until uhhh, June 2018. When we got back together... yet again.

(Between the time we broke up in December and got back together in June, I had been in two relationships)

So the real tea is here, kinda. Like not the main tea of this story? But big tea.

Uhh, we dated all summer and it was actually amazing. I was totally in love with him and everything felt right? I guess.

Oh my goodness now that I’m writing this all out and explaining it, it sounds so dramatic I hate myself. I KNOW OKAY SKSKSK

Anyways, at the beginning of August he told me that he was actually moving to Vancouver at the end of August, before school starts.

And oh my fucking god I was so pissed.

I was so mad, I’m actually getting mad writing this.

I felt so betrayed I guess? I just feel like it was so selfish for him to spend our whole time back together (again) savouring it I guess? and I didn’t get that., like he got to know we were going to break up and I was kinda just left in the dark and idk.

anyways, not the point. shitty but not the point.

uhhhh ya.

so we broke up he moved away.

and since I can’t catch a break! he ended up moving back from Vancouver, in October.

I was even more pissed bc like, it was so sudden? Like I showed up at school one day and he was just, in the halls? Like okay he could’ve warned me? So insensitive.

He came to my school, and his TA (basically homeroom, you have he same ta the whole time you’re in that school) was right across the hall from mine. Well it still is, whatever.

It took us like a month of awkwardly seeing eachother in the halls and my trying to hard to avoid him at school before we finally talked.

We’ve had multiple deep conversations about our relationship and he’s apologized so many times for it and obviously I’ve forgiven him but u know how it be. We said that we would probably never get back together, and if we ever did then it was a sign? I don’t know. We’ve been through so much together and he means the world to me but IDK!!

anyways uh I think I’ve covered everything.

OKAY!

so when he moved back, I paid so so much attention to who he was hanging out with and where he usually went at lunch, basically gathering info so I could avoid him.

I noticed he was always always sitting at the back table of the library with this boy, who was in his ta- which I know because it was across from mine and I also paid way too much attention to him.

WHICH BY THE WAY I USED TO SIT AT THE BACK LIBRARY TABLE AND THEN THATS WHERE HE STARTED SITTING THEN I HAD TO FUCKING FIND A NEW SPOT DAMMIT!

it’s fine.

So this boy he was always sitting with, let’s call him Logan.

Ethan’s best friend is Logan. If you saw one outside of class, you saw the other.

And when semester two rolled around, sure enough, I had a class with Logan. Math.

So it’s March 11, and we started semester two on February 4. So a little over a month and today, I finally had a real conversation with Logan.

(I had talked to him once before in the cafeteria, it was loud and we talked about homework)

Basically, our math teacher randomly split the class into table groups. And Logan and I got sat together.

And y’all when I tell you he’s perfect, I mean he’s perfect.

He is the most hilarious person I’ve ever talked to in my life, he was so nice and witty and smart. He held a consistent conversation with me for like an hour and fifteen minutes.

He helped me with my work, he told me stories about himself, he listened to my stories.

He turned 16 last weekend, he plays hockey. He just started playing with the older division this season so he was telling me all about like the injuries he’s had and the fights he’s gotten into (hot).

He’s so cute and he dresses nicely. He coaches kids hockey teams and referees hockey games in his free time for that bread.

He told me he was saving up for a car.

He was telling me about how he quit lacrosse and how it was a long story and maybe one day he would tell it to me. He talked about his rugby tryouts that were after school and how nervous he was for them.

He said “hey you used to date my friend Ethan right?” And for like a second I was like okay that was fun while it lasted. Then he said “yeah he told me all about it a few weeks after we met, he was a complete asshole- no one deserves that” and I was like OKAY FUCK UR SO PERFECT PLS HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE.

And I stay after school on Monday’s usually for an after school program and just as I was leaving he was about to walk into the locker room to change for rugby and he had the biggest smile on his face when I went over to him.

I told him good luck and he was like thanks I’ll let you know how it goes, then he stole a veggie chip from the bag I was eating out of.

So now I’m here, it’s been like six hours since we were outside that locker room and I feel stuck.

Stuck with this big ass crush on my serious ex boyfriends best friend.

and idk what to do about it.

and like, ya I guess I’m a crushy person, hence the entire ‘carter art boy’ tag I use on my blog.

But idk it feels so different. I feel like he was so interested in my life and I was interested in his and UGH I feel weird.

So idk what I’m gonna do.

Maybe I’ll avoid him for the rest of the semester.

I cant see myself doing that tho, idk.

IDKIDKIDKIDK

pls send me advice in my asks

#my life #pls help #i hope u enjoyed my love life story #shit show #r u team ethan #or team logan #im too lazy to re read it and see if i made any mistakes #ex bf bff

[mrkwonandmrchoibabygirl]

Now 2~~G-Dragon Pt.21

Genre:Angst/SMUT

Rated:NSFW

Pairing: GD X Reader

wordcount:4,962

Masterlist

DISCLAIMER!:remember this is just an edit of an original book called after by anna todd i do not own this book

Jiyong POV

When I open the door, my attention is immediately drawn to my dad’s face. A deep purple bruise is clear on his cheek, and his bottom lip holds a small cut right down the center.

I nod as my greeting to them, not knowing what the hell to say.

“Your place is so lovely.” Karen smiles, and the three of them stand by the door, unsure what to do.

Y/N saves all of us by walking into the room. “Come on in. You can put those by the tree,” she says to Tae, gesturing to the bag of gifts in his arms.

“We brought the gifts you left at the house as well,” my dad says.

The air is thick with tension—not an angry tension, exactly, but really damn awkward tension.

Y/N smiles sweetly. “Thank you so much.” She’s so good at making people feel welcome. At least one of us is.

Tae walks to the kitchen first, followed by Karen and Ken. I reach for Y/N’s hand, using her as an anchor for my anxiety.

“How was the drive?” Y/N tries to start conversation.

“It wasn’t too bad; I drove,” Tae answers.

The conversation flows from uncomfortable at first to somewhat relaxed as we eat. In between courses, Y/N squeezes my hand under the table.

“The food was excellent,” Karen compliments, looking at Y/N.

“Oh, I didn’t make it, Jiyong did,” Y/N tells her and places her hand on my thigh.

“Really? It was delicious, Jiyong.” Karen smiles.

I’d have been okay with Y/N taking the credit for the meal. Having four sets of eyes on me is making me want to vomit. Y/N applies more pressure to my leg, wanting me to say something.

I look at Karen. “Thanks,” I say, and Y/N squeezes again, prompting me to offer Karen a really fucking awkward smile.

After a few seconds of silence, Y/N stands up and grabs her plate from the table. She walks into the kitchen, and I debate whether or not to follow.

“The food was really good, son. I’m impressed,” my dad says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, it’s just food,” I mumble. His eyes shift down, and I correct myself. “I mean, Y/N’s the better cook, but thanks.”

He seems pleased with my answer and takes a drink from his glass. Karen smiles awkwardly, staring at me with those weirdly almost comforting eyes of hers. I look away. Y/N joins us before anyone else has the chance to compliment the food.

“Well, should we open the gifts?” Taeyang asks.

“Yes,” Karen and Y/N answer at the same time.

I stay as close to Y/N as possible as we go into the living room. My dad, Karen, and Taeyang sit on the couch. I reach for Y/N’s hand and gently pull her to sit on my lap in the chair. I see her look toward our guests, and Karen tries to hide a smile. Y/N looks away, embarrassed, but doesn’t move from my lap. I lean up a little more and wrap my arm tighter around her waist.

Taeyang stands and grabs the gifts. He passes them around, and I focus on Y/N and the way she gets excited over things like this. I love the way she’s always so enthusiastic about everything, and I love the way she makes people comfortable. Even on “do-over Christmas.”

Taeyang hands her a small box marked From: Ken and Karen. When she tears the wrapping paper off, a blue box with Tiffany & Co. written in silver scroll on the front is revealed.

“What is it?” I ask quietly. I don’t know shit about jewelry, but I know that brand is expensive.

“A bracelet.” She extracts and dangles a silver chain-link bracelet in front of me. A small bow-shaped charm and a heart hang from the expensive metal. The shiny object makes the bracelet on her wrist, my gift to her, look like complete shit.

“Of course it is,” I say under my breath.

y/n frowns at me, then turns back to them. “It’s beautiful; thank you both so much.” She beams.

“She already . . .” I begin to complain. I hate that they got her a better gift than mine. I get it—he has money. Couldn’t they have gotten her something else, anything else?

But y/n turns back to me, silently begging me not to make shit any more awkward. I sigh in defeat and lean back against the chair.

“What’s in yours?” Y/N smiles, trying to lighten my mood. She rests against me, kissing my forehead. She looks down at the box on the arm of the chair, hinting for me to open it. When I do, I hold the expensive contents up for her to see.

“A watch.” I show her, trying to humor her the best I can.

Honestly, I’m still fucking irritated about the bracelet. I wanted her to wear my bracelet every day—I wanted it to be her favorite gift.

Karen beams over the box of pans from Y/N. “I’ve been wanting this set all season!”

Y/N thought I didn’t notice that she added my name to the small snowman-shaped tags, but I did. I just didn’t feel like crossing it out.

“I feel like a jerk because I only got you a gift card when you got me these awesome tickets,” Taeyang says to Y/N.

I have to admit that I’m happy for his impersonal present of a gift card for the e-reader that I got her for her birthday. If he had gotten something more thoughtful, it would have annoyed me, but with Y/N’s caring smile, you’d think he bought her a fucking first-edition Austen novel. I still can’t believe they got her an expensive bracelet; what show-offs. What if she wants to wear this new one instead of mine?

“Thank you for the gifts, they’re great,” my dad says and looks at me, holding up the key chain Y/N mistakenly chose for him.

I feel a little guilty for his busted face, but at the same time I find the weird coloring slightly amusing. I want to apologize for my outburst—well, I wouldn’t say I want to, but I need to. I don’t want to go backward with him. It was sort of okay to spend time with him, I guess. Karen and Y/N get on pretty well, and I feel obligated to give her the chance to have a motherly figure around, since it’s my fault her and her mother are on such bad terms. It’s good for me, in a fucked-up way, that they are, because it’s one less person in the way of us being together.

“ Jiyong?” Y/N’s voice says into my ear.

I look up at her and realize that one of them must have been talking to me.

“Would you want to go with Taeyang to the game?” she asks.

“What? No,” I say quickly.

“Thanks, man.” Taeyang rolls his eyes.

“I mean, I don’t think Taeyang would want that,” I correct myself.

Being decent is much harder than I thought it would be. I’m only doing this for her . . . Well, if I’m honest, it’s a little for myself, as my mum’s words that my anger will only give me busted hands and a lonely life keep repeating in my head.

“Y/N and I can go if you won’t,”Tae says to me.

Why is he trying to annoy me when I’m trying to be nice for once?

She smiles. “Yeah, I’ll go with. I don’t know anything about hockey, but I’ll tag along.”

Without thinking, I wrap my other arm around her waist and pull her against my chest. “I’ll go.” I give in.

Amusement is clear on Tae’s face, and I can tell even with Y/N’s back to me that she wears the same expression.

“I really like what you guys have done to the place, Jiyong,” my father says.

“It came decorated mostly, but thanks,” I reply. I have come to the conclusion that it’s less awkward when I’m punching him than when we’re trying to avoid an argument.

Karen smiles at me. “It was really nice of you to invite us over.”

My life would be easier if she was a hideous bitch, but of course she’s one of the nicest people I have ever met. “It’s nothing, really . . . after what happened yesterday, it’s the least I can do.” I know my voice sounds shakier and more strained than I want it to.

“It’s okay . . . things happen,” Karen assures me.

“Not really; I don’t think that violence is a regular holiday tradition,” I say.

“Maybe it will be from now on—Y/N can punch me out next year,” Taeyang jokes in a lame attempt to lighten the mood.

“Maybe I will.” Y/N sticks her tongue out at him, and I smile slightly.

“It won’t happen again,” I say and look at my dad.

My dad looks at me thoughtfully. “It was partly my fault, son. I should have known it wasn’t going to go well, but I hope now that you let some of the anger out, we can get back to trying to develop a relationship,” he says to me.

Y/N puts her small hands over mine to comfort me, and I nod. “Uh, yeah . . . cool,” I say timidly. “Yeah . . .” I chew on the inside of my cheek.

Tae slaps his hands on his knees and stands. “Well, we should get going, but let me know if you really want to go to the game. Thank you both for having us over today.”

Y/N hugs the three of them as I lean against the wall. I was nice enough today, but there’s no way that I’m hugging anyone. Except Y/N, of course, but after my politeness today she should be giving me more than a hug. I stare at the way her loose dress hides her beautiful curves and literally have to talk myself down before I drag her to the bedroom. I remember the first time I saw her in that hideous dress. Well, back then it was hideous to me; now I sort of adore it. She came out of the dorm looking like she was getting ready to sell Bibles door-to-door. She rolled her eyes at me when I teased her as she climbed into my car, but I had no idea that she would make me fall in love with her.

I wave once more as our company leaves and let out a deep breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding. A hockey game with Tae—what the fuck have I gotten myself into?

“That was so nice. You were so nice.” Y/N praises me and immediately kicks off her high heels before lining them neatly by the door.

I shrug. “It was okay, I guess.”

“It was better than okay.” Y/N beams at me.

“Whatever,” I state with an exaggerated grumpiness, and she giggles.

“I really love you. You know that, don’t you?” she asks as she walks around the living room picking up after everyone. I tease her about her cleaning habits, but the place would be trashed if it were only me living here.

“So, the watch? You like it?” she asks.

“No, it’s hideous, and I don’t wear watches.”

“I think it looks nice.”

“What about your bracelet?” I hesitantly ask her.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Oh . . .” I look away. “It’s fancy and expensive,” I add.

“Yeah . . . I feel bad that they spent all that money on it when I won’t really be wearing it. I’ll have to wear it when they’re around once or twice.”

“Why won’t you wear it?”

“Because I already have a favorite bracelet.” She shakes her wrist back and forth, making the charms hit one another.

“Oh. You like mine better?” I can’t hide my stupid smile.

She looks at me with a lightly chastising look. “Of course I do, Jiyong.”

I try to hold on to some of the little dignity I have left, but I can’t help but scoop her up by the back of her legs. When she screams, I laugh loudly. I don’t remember ever laughing this way in my entire life.

Y/N POV

The next morning I wake up early, shower, and with my towel still wrapped around me, quickly start a pot of that elixir of life: coffee. As I watch it brew, an awareness bubbles up in me that I’m a little nervous to see Kimberly. I don’t know what her reaction to Jiyong and me getting back together will be. She’s not judgmental, but flipping the situation around, I don’t know what my reaction would be if it were her going through the same thing with Christian. She doesn’t know all of the details, but she knows they’re bad enough for me to keep them from her.

With a steaming mug in hand, I walk over to the large window in the living room. The snow is falling in thick clusters; I wish it would stop already. I hate driving in the snow, and most of the way to Vance is freeway.

“Morning.” Jiyong’s voice startles me from the hall.

“Morning.” I smile and take another sip of my coffee. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” I ask him as he wipes the sleep from his eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be dressed?” he retaliates.

I smile and walk past him toward the bedroom to get myself dressed, but he tugs on the towel and pulls it from my body, making me shriek and rush into the room. Hearing footsteps behind me, I lock the door. God knows what will happen if I let him in. My skin flames at the thought, but I don’t have time for that right now.

“Nice, very mature,” he says through the wood.

“I never claimed to be mature.” I smile and pad to the closet, where I decide on a long black skirt and red blouse. Not my most flattering outfit, but it’s my first day back and it’s snowing. After I put light makeup on in the full-length mirror in the closet, all I have left to do is dry my hair. When I open the door, Jiyong is nowhere to be found. I quickly half dry my hair before pulling it back into a secure bun.

“ Jiyong ?” I grab my purse and take out my phone to call him.

No answer. Where is he? My heart begins to pound as I walk through the apartment. After a minute, the front door clicks open and he steps inside, covered in snow.

“Where were you? I was getting nervous.”

“Nervous? Of what?” he asks.

“I don’t know, really. That you were hurt or something?” I sound ridiculous.

“I was just scraping and starting your car for you so it’s warm and ready when you get down there.” He shrugs off his jacket and removes his soaked boots, leaving a puddle of slush on the concrete.

I can’t hide my surprise. “Who are you?” I laugh.

“Don’t start that shit or I’ll go back down and slash your tires,” he says.

I roll my eyes and laugh at his empty threat. “Well, thank you.”

“I . . . I can drive you?” His eyes meet mine.

Now I really don’t know who he is. He was polite for the most part yesterday, and now he’s heating my car and offering to drive me to work—not to mention the way he laughed so hard last night that his eyes were brimming with moisture. Honesty really does look good on him.

“. . . or not,” he adds when I take too long to reply.

“I would love it,” I say, and he puts his boots back on.

When we get downstairs and start pulling out of the lot, Jiyong remarks, “Good thing your car is such shit, or someone could have stolen it while it was down here running.”

“It is not shit!” I defend, eyeing the small crack in the passenger window. “Anyway, I was thinking next week when classes start back up we can drive to campus together, right? Your classes are around the same times as mine, and on the days I go to Vance, I’ll just take my car and meet you back at home.”

“Okay . . .” He stares ahead out the windshield.

“What?”

“I just wish you’d have told me what classes you were taking.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know . . . maybe I could’ve taken one with you instead of just you and Taeyang signing up together and becoming eternal study buddies.”

“You’ve already taken French and American Lit, and I didn’t think you’d be interested in World Religion.”

“I’m not,” he huffs.

I know this conversation isn’t going to go anywhere, so when I see the big V on the Vance Building, I’m grateful. The snow has slowed, but Jiyong pulls up close to the front door to minimize my exposure to the cold.

“I’ll be here to get you at four,” he says, and I nod before leaning across the small space to kiss him goodbye.

“Thank you for driving me,” I whisper against his lips, touching them once more.

“Mm-hmm . . .” he mumbles, and I pull away.

When I step out of the car, Trevor appears only a few feet away, his black suit speckled with white snow. My stomach churns as he gives me a warm smile.

“Hey, long time no—”

“Y/N!” Jiyong calls my name and shuts the car door to walk around to my side. Trevor’s eyes go to Jiyong , then back to me, and his smile disappears. “You forgot something . . .” Jiyong says, handing me a pen.

A pen? I raise my eyebrow.

He nods and wraps his arms around my waist, pressing his lips forcefully against mine. If we weren’t in a parking lot—and I didn’t feel like this was his sick way of marking his territory—I would melt under the aggressive manner with which his tongue parts my lips. When I pull away, his face holds a smug expression. I shiver and rub my hands over my arms. I should have worn a heavier jacket.

“Nice to see you. Trenton, was it?” Jiyong says with false sincerity.

I know damn well he knows his name. He’s so rude.

“Uh . . . yeah. Nice to see you, too,” Trevor mumbles and disappears through the sliding doors.

“What the hell was that?” I scowl at Jiyong .

“What?” He smirks.

I groan. “You’re such a pig.”

“Stay away from him, Y/N. Please,” Jiyong commands, kissing me on the forehead to soften his harsh words.

I roll my eyes and stomp inside the building like a child.

“How was your Christmas?” Kimberly asks as I grab a donut and coffee. I probably shouldn’t drink another cup, but Jiyong ’s caveman act has annoyed me, and the smell of the coffee beans alone calms me.

“It . . .”

Oh, you know, I took Jiyong back, then found out he made sex tapes with multiple girls, ruining one of their lives, but then I took him back again. My mother showed up at my apartment and caused a scene, so now she and I aren’t speaking. Jiyong’s mother was in town, so we had to pretend we were together, even though we weren’t, which basically brought us back together, and it was smooth sailing until my mother told his mother about him taking my virginity for a bet. Oh, and Christmas? To commemorate that holiday, Jiyong beat the shit out of his dad and punched his hand through a glass cabinet. You know, the usual.

“. . . was great. How was yours?” I say, going with the short version.

Kimberly dives into her amazing Christmas with Christian and his son. The little boy cried when he saw the new bicycle that “Santa” brought him. He had even called Kimberly “Mommy Kim,” which made her heart warm, but made her slightly uncomfortable at the same time. “It’s strange, you know,” she says. “Thinking of myself as someone’s guardian or whatever I am. I’m not married, not even engaged, to Christian, so I don’t know my place with Smith.”

“I think Smith and Christian are both lucky to have you in their lives, whatever title you may have,” I assure her.

“You’re wise beyond your years, Ms. Young.”

She smiles, and I rush to my office after glancing at the clock. By the time lunch comes around, Kimberly’s not at her desk. When the elevator stops at the third floor, I silently scream as Trevor steps into it.

“Hey,” I say, my voice small.

I don’t know why this is so uncomfortable. It’s not like I was dating Trevor or anything. We went on one date and I had a nice time. I enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. That is all.

“How was your break?” he asks, his blue eyes shining under the fluorescent lighting.

I wish people would stop asking me that today. “Nice. Yours?”

“It was nice—had a huge turnout at the shelter downtown, fed over three hundred people.” He beams proudly.

“Wow, three hundred people? That’s incredible.” I smile. He’s so kind, and the tension between us is somewhat diminished.

“It was really great; hopefully next year we’ll have even more resources and we can feed five hundred.” As we both step off the elevator he asks, “Are you going to lunch?”

“Yeah, I was going to walk over to Firehouse, since I didn’t drive myself,” I say, not wanting to discuss Jiyong and me at the moment.

“You can ride with me if you want. I’m going to Panera, but I can run you by Firehouse first. You shouldn’t walk in the snow,” he offers politely.

“You know? Panera’s good. I’ll just come with.” I smile, and we head to his car.

The heated seats in his BMW warm me up before we’re even out of the parking lot. At the eatery, Trevor and I stay mostly silent while we order our lunch and sit down at a small table toward the back.

“I’m thinking about moving to Seoul,” Trevor tells me as I dip a cracker into my broccoli soup.

“Really? When?” I ask loudly, trying to speak over the many voices of the lunch crowd.

“March. Christian has offered me a job there—a promotion to head of finance at the new branch—and I’m strongly considering taking it.”

“That’s really great news—congratulations, Trevor!”

He wipes the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Thank you. I would love to run the entire finance department, and even more, I’d love to move to Seoul.”

We talk about Seoul for the rest of the meal, and by the time we finish, all I can think is Why can’t Jiyong feel the same about Seoul?

When we get back to Vance, the snow has turned to freezing rain and the two of us rush into the building. I’m shivering by the time we reach the elevator. Trevor offers me his suit jacket, but I quickly decline.

“So you and Jiyong are seeing each other again?” he finally asks, a question I had been waiting for.

“Yeah . . . we are working through things.” I chew on my cheek.

“Oh . . . you’re happy, then?” He looks down at me.

I look up at him. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.” He runs his hands over his black hair and I know he’s lying, but I appreciate him not making this any more awkward than it already is. That’s part of his goodness, too.

When we step off of the elevator, Kimberly’s face holds a strange expression. I’m confused by the way she’s looking at Trevor, until I follow her eyes to where Hardin is leaning against the wall.

Jiyong POV

Really? Really?” I ask, my hands flying into the air dramatically.

Y/N’s mouth falls open, but no words come out as she looks at fucking Trevor, then back to me. Goddammit, Y/N. Anger courses through me and I begin to envision the multiple ways I want to beat the shit out of this boy.

“Thanks for lunch, Y/N. See you later,” Trevor calmly says before walking away.

When I look at Kimberly, she shakes her head in disapproval before grabbing a folder off her desk and leaving us alone. Y/N glares at her friend, and I almost laugh.

Y/N can have lunch with whoever I want to. So do not start with me,” she warns.

As soon as we’re both inside, I close and lock her door. “You know how I feel about him.” I lean against the wall.

“You need to be quiet. This is my job.”

“Internship,” I correct her.

“What?” Her eyes open wide.

“You’re not an actual employee, just an intern,” I say.

“So we’re back to this, then?”

“No, I was just stating a fact.” I’m an asshole: another fact.

“Really?” she challenges.

I clench my jaw and stare at my stubborn girl.

“Why are you even here?” she asks me and sits down in her chair behind her desk.

“I came to take you to lunch so you didn’t have to go out in the snow,” I say. “But it seems like you know how to get other guys to help you out.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. We went to eat and came right back. You need to calm down with the jealousy.”

“It’s not jealousy.” Of course it’s jealousy. And fear. But I’m not admitting that.

“We are friends, Jiyong . Let it go and come here.”

“No,” I whine.

“Please?” she begs, and I roll my eyes at my lack of self-control as I walk over to her. She leans against her desk and pulls me to stand in front of her. “I only want you, Jiyong. I love you and I do not want to be with anyone else, only you.” She stares at me with such intensity that I look away.

“I’m sorry that you don’t like him, but you can’t tell me who I can be friends with.” When she smiles at me, I try to hold on to my anger, but feel it slowly slipping. Damn, is she good.

“I can’t stand him.”

“He’s harmless. Really. Besides, he’s moving to Seattle in March.”

Ice fills my veins, but I try to remain neutral. “He is?” Of course fucking Trevor is moving to Seattle—the place Y/N wants to be. The place I am not moving to and never will. I wonder if she’s thought about going with him? No, she wouldn’t. Would she?

Fuck, I don’t know.

“Yeah, so he won’t be around. Please just leave him alone.” She squeezes my hands.

I look down at her. “Fine; fuck, fine. I won’t touch him.” I sigh. I can’t believe I just agreed to let him get away with trying to kiss her.

“Thank you. I love you so much,” she tells me, her blue-gray eyes staring into mine.

“I’m still mad at him for trying to seduce you. And you for not listening to me.”

“I know, now be quiet . . .” She licks her bottom lip. “Let me set you at ease?” she asks with a shaky voice.

What?

“I . . . I want to show you that I love only you.” Her cheeks flush deep crimson, and her hands move to my belt as she stands on her toes to kiss me.

I am confused, angry—and incredibly turned on. She runs her tongue over my bottom lip. I groan immediately and lift her onto the desk. Her trembling hands fumble with my belt again, this time removing it. I lift the bottom of her ridiculously long skirt up to the tops of her thighs, thankful that she didn’t wear tights today.

“I want you, babe,” she breathes against my neck, wrapping her legs around my waist.

I moan at the way those words sound coming from her full lips, and I’m loving her sudden dominance as she takes control, tugging my jeans down my legs.

“Aren’t you?” I ask, referring to her period. “Yeah . . . you aren’t.”

She blushes and takes my length into her hand. I hiss, and she smiles while pumping slowly, too slowly.

“Don’t tease me.” I groan and she works her hand faster as she sucks the skin on my neck. If this is her way of making amends to me, I welcome her to fuck up more often. As long as it doesn’t involve her and another guy.

I pull her head back by her hair to look at me. “I want to fuck you.”

She shakes her head no, and a shy smile plays on her lips.

“Yes.”

“We can’t.” She looks toward the door.

“We have before.”

“I mean . . . because of . . . you know.”

“It’s not so bad.” I shrug. It really isn’t as bad as people assume it is.

“Is that . . . normal?”

“Yes. It’s normal,” I decree, and her eyes widen. Despite how shy she’s acting, her pupils are blown out, letting me know how bad she wants it, too. Her hand remains on me, slowly moving, and I spread her legs farther. I tug on the string of her tampon and dispose of it in the trash, then, moving her hand away, roll the condom on.

She climbs down, then bends over the desk, lifting her skirt up over her ass.

Fuck if this isn’t the hottest thing I’ve seen in my entire life, despite the circumstances.

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