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ask-the-guiding-light-cast · 5 years

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Guiding Light turns two years old today!

It’s crazy to think this all began only a couple of years back... and also hilarious it falls on the same day as “International Mystery Dungeon Day” over on Twitter. More after the cut. This is gonna be a long one, so I appreciate anyone willing to read this. ^^

For a long time, I had been a casual consumer of fan fics. It started in the late 2000s when I was in a Spyro craze thanks to the more story-driven Legend of Spyro trilogy. I had an itch that I needed scratched and FFN fulfilled that to some extent. I also looked at some Mario fics, including Paper Mario: The Temple of the Sun, which I greatly enjoyed and thought did a good job adapting the formula that made Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door so beloved and putting a unique spin on things.

But it was until the early 2010s that I actually started getting back into Pokémon games with Gen V. After Emerald, I fell out of touch with Pokémon for a time. When Gen VI came around, I dipped my toe into the fandom through Twitch livestreams, but also through reading a few anime-based fics that are very long and still going, even now.

At the same time, I ended up buying PMD: Explorers of Sky... and damaged my cartridge before I could properly finish the game with my Vulpix/Riolu team. So, I watched cutscenes for what I missed on YouTube, then got Gates to Infinity and, later, Super Mystery Dungeon and had fun with both of them... though more for the stories and characters than the actual gameplay. Truth be told, I don’t care much for roguelikes at all.

It was during the gap in time between Super’s release and the first official footage of Sun & Moon in mid-2016 that I found myself hit with a recurring thought: “What if someone made a PMD story where the hero and the partner are forced to fight one another with the fate of the world at stake?” I wound up (loosely) brainstorming an idea for a PMD story revolving around an antagonistic Hoopa character who would use its ring portals to collect entire communities, including the Pokémon living in them... all so that he would never be bored. This would lead him to “collect” the partner to add to his “toys,” so when the hero shows up, he’d sic the partner on them.

But that was as far as I got with the idea. I ended up graduating college and took a job with late evening hours. It left me pretty tired and exhausted and unmotivated to do much of anything. I withdrew from the parts of the Pokémon community I was involved in.

Then the Generation VII games came out and, while divisive in the fandom, I found myself really liking some of the concepts. There were so many times when I thought, “Gee, I wonder what this would be like if it were in a PMD game?” For example, one of the ideas I had was a sort of edgy rival rescue team akin to Gladion, which would have a Midnight Lycanroc, a Zoroark, and a Type: Null character in it.

So, toward the end of 2016 and early 2017, I started creating an idea for a Choose Your Own Adventure story with the intent of putting it on this really small forum I was a part of. It would be a Gen VII-themed PMD story, but because I didn’t think that sounded interesting enough, I decided that, not only would the human keep their memories, but they would be from the real world and be a major Pokémon nerd. The idea was that the choices the readers made would affect the relationship between the human and partner. I even came up with a point system. The more points the readers earned for their choices, the “closer” the relationship the hero and partner would have and the happier an ending the story would get. If the hero and partner couldn’t stand each other, one of them would likely end up working with the bad guy and winning. If they became steadfast friends, they’d work together to save the world.

Unfortunately, the forum shut down before I got too far into planning it, so I shelved the idea and continued focusing on my job. And things stayed that way for several months, until I ended up getting into med school and scrambling to move.

During the downtime I had when I wasn’t doing moving related stuff, I decided to look at FFN again and found Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Defenders of Warmth. I wound up reading through the entirety of the story quite quickly. I guess you could say it sparked something in my head. The fic itself focuses on what, at the time, was the newest Gen (Gen V). It also has multiple humans and is set on a continent separate from the canon locations (which were just the Air and Grass Continents, since Gates and Super didn’t exist when the fic was written). In short, it renewed my desire to pursue my idea of a Gen VII-flavored PMD story.

So, I set about creating my story outline. It is so... so much different from the actual story, though I’ve gone into that in previous posts (search for #amby answers). Originally, I used Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time as the framework for the fic: an alien invasion in a colorful, comedic world. I took more specific cues, too. Zero was meant to be a (mostly) silent antagonist a la Princess Shroob, for example.

The problem was, I really didn’t have much confidence in myself or my abilities. I’d like to say I was writing for myself, but I really did want validation, too. I think any author is lying to themselves if they say they don’t feel this way at some point. Because of this, I figured if I put the fic on FFN, it would get ignored. The site’s huge! There were, at the time, around 85k fics in the Pokémon section alone. (That number’s since gone up to over 90k!)

Given I had experience with forums, I decided to post it to Serebii, because the fic community seemed much smaller and more open to giving feedback to one another. In an effort to try and, y’know, establish some connections, I actually read other pieces and reviewed them before posting any stories. This also helped me build up a backlog of chapters and prove to myself I enjoyed writing this enough to keep going.

When I finally did post the fic, it was a bumpy start, for sure. I do think I made a lot of mistakes out of the gate, including uploading chapters way too quickly for readers on Serebii to (reasonably) try to keep pace. That probably cost me a few potential readers... or made them silent readers who I never ended up hearing from. Which is why I’m especially thankful to @girl-like-substance (who I can seem to tag, drat) for all of the well-thought-out feedback given throughout the fic’s run. I don’t think I would’ve made such significant strides in my writing otherwise... and there are plenty of long-running fics where the quality tends to stagnate.

In any case... it was thanks to a request from @deliriousabsol to put the fic somewhere more mobile-friendly that I chose to mirror Guiding Light on FFN starting in October 2017. I would’ve kept going on Serebii had she not asked so nicely, so she’s the one you can thank for it showing up there! (She’s a fellow author who does cyberpunk-themed fics and art and her characters have cameoed in the fic.)

And, honestly, I’m just... beyond shocked at what wound up happening to the fic once it hit FFN. Well, actually, for the first several months I was lucky if I even got a comment when I put up a chapter. I’m not sure any of the people who first commented on FFN still follow the fic anymore. I haven’t seen/heard from them at all, so I assumed they moved on with their lives.

In any case, around March of 2018, the word count on FFN passed 300k and... somehow, the fic starting getting more attention. Like, a lot more attention. This was... not really something I was even remotely prepared for.

(Yes, this means there’s gonna be a giveaway. More on that later.) I never would’ve thought I’d reach a number like this. I never imagined I’d meet another PMD author who’d be willing to do a fun collab (thanks @virgil134, Spiteful Murkrow, and Namohysip). I really did not imagine that I’d ever get fanart of characters that I wrote (huge thanks @thebreak-ofdawn, @ask-nicky-and-others, and @cresselia92). I mean, above everything, I not expect the fic or characters to resonate with anybody the way it wound up.

A part of me feels like I don’t really deserve it. I’ve made a lot of serious gaffes with writing this. When initial Serebii feedback had people intrigued by Shane’s jerkass attitude (when I didn’t actually intend for him to come off as a jerk), I dialed things up in the hopes I’d keep their attention. It probably cost me readers. Then there’s the slow pacing of the early episodes and the mistake of making Special Episode 3 as long as it was... which my speaks to my (bad) tendency to give into some of my strongest impulses even though I had an outline I was trying to stick to.

And, I mean, there’s also some of the “shamlessly shameful” stuff I’ve done with the fic. I’m not fooling myself. Guiding Light has grown progressively more furry and, uh, probably fanservicey, too. All the big furbait (and some scalebait) ‘mons are accounted for. There’s a lot more sexual humor when I initially promised myself I would stay away from romance and keep everything platonic. I practically turned Xerneas into waifu bait, if some of these asks are anything to go by. This blog certainly didn’t help in that regard. Maybe I’m just being my usual nervous self?

I am worried that this fic’s performance has, somehow, affected my thoughts and behavior. There are very popular fic authors who let their popularity get to their head... or chose to open up Patreons (something that makes me uncomfortable) or start doing things like taking commissions for written pieces, which is understandable... though I think it’s an easy way to lose your passion for writing. I guess some of that worry stems from a debacle I learned about on a Discord server I’m in, but that’s not something I’m comfortable discussing publicly.

And I haven’t even talked much about the blog itself. Like, it somehow passed 100 followers? Where? When? How? I don’t actually draw stuff like many other Pokéasks. And, like, for a lot of folks, I have no idea if they’ve actually read the fic or just check in on the blog. It’s the same with the fic, I suppose. If you’re a silent reader/follower, I would really love to hear from you! I promise... I don’t bite or anything. I’d love to know what (if anything) you’re thinking. And if you’re a blog that’s following this one and we haven’t interacted, please feel free to reach out! It’s honestly hard to tell if people like what I’m doing, so any feedback is always appreciated.

In any case, if I haven’t lost you by now, I guess all I can say is... thank you. Thank you all so much for all of the support... whether it’s on the fic, the blog, or both of them. I really do hope this final episode can meet your expectations. I’ll try my very best to make this an ending to remember. Nothing would make me happier than to hear you guys enjoy it and feel it does justice to the PMD series.

Sorry for all the rambling. The inbox is open again if you’d like to send any messages for the ficaversary. Again, thank you all so much! You’re the best!

#ooc #long post #fic anniversary

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pendragonfics · 7 years

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I’ll Be There For You

Paring: Isaac (The Fault in Our Stars)/Reader

Tags: bookstore, fluff, angst, blindness

Summary: After growing up and apart from Isaac, you find out from Augustus Waters of the turn of events that have affected your friend; for better...and for worse. So what's a best friend gotta do?

Word Count: 1,471

Posting Date: 2016-05-21

Current Date: 2017-05-10

You and Isaac had history.

Not that kind of history - the real kind. The friendship and childhood memories kind of history with the images of every event slowly turning sepia in your minds.

Your mother had known his, and both gave birth in the span of hours, Isaac coming first by eight hours.

He would never let you forget it.

As children, you used to play in the sandbox until the fateful age you learned that the contents weren't for eating, and after that, you learned the definition of video games - the explosions and raw graphics that got better over time - and continually played the fictional universes until both pairs of yours and his thumbs ached from being overworked.

And then, a few years after that, not too long after puberty hit the both of you, hard, you learned a new word - cancer.

When Isaac's eye was removed, you faithfully stayed by his side, the friend you were: making the usual horrible jokes friends do, always aching to make his day by a smile. After the surgery, though, you watched him begin to branch out with a new crowd; those kids from the cancer Support Group.

Hazel Lancaster and Augustus Waters and such; even his girlfriend, Monica, got more of his time than you. But you didn't notice the branching out of Isaac, the slipping away - but it got to you, Komodo dragon bacteria in the system, killing you softly.

Slowly.

And then it was another day at work, ad for a Sunday in a bookstore, it was uncommonly bustling. You were stacking the shelves, and having done the tacky romance novels and the classic tales, you started the young adult sector.

It was also then you heard your name, and not from your boss.

You turned, half expecting to see some creep who had read your badge, but were momentarily shocked to see Gus Waters.

"Can I help you?" you wondered mechanically. The routine question.

Up close, you could see the completely characteristic charm that the famous Augustus Waters had been known for - and you knew after a second the tales weren't wrong at all.

Hazel was a lucky girl.

"Twofold, actually," he grinned, "if that's okay." After you nodded, he added, "first off, I'm looking for a copy of 'An Imperial Affliction'. A present for someone."

You smiled to yourself - you loved that cancer book. It was amazing, and had gotten to you more than any other work of fiction ever created in the world. Sisyphus the hamster had been your favourite character, and the ending -

Hazel had gotten you hooked to it, ever since she came back with her Mom to get another copy, as her original was in pieces, she'd read it so much.

"It's right here," you turned to the shelves and plucked the perfectly priced paperback from the pile, and handed it to Augustus. "And the second question?"

His smile faltered. "It's more of a request, ______," he started. "I heard you used to be a friend of Isaac's."

You paused, and regaining your quietly broken composure, you confirmed, "Yeah, I was, Augustus. I fell out of the loop, though. I don't think he'll remember me. It was easily years ago."

A tad more of a smile pulled onto his lips, and Augustus added, "it was Hazel's idea, if this plan isn't a go," he laid plausible blame before continuing, "I hope to Van Houten that he remembers you, ______, you're kind of like a beacon at sea at the moment."

Your breath was caught in your throat. "Is it back again?"

Augustus shook his head. "It came and went. He's officially NEC by the doctors, but...now he's..."

Your stomach dropped. "He's -,"

"Blind." Augustus winced, deadpanning. "Sorry to break it to you this way, ______. Hazel thought - and I agree - that you're the only one to get him out of his eternal disparity."

If you had been holding anything, it would have long fallen to the floor.

"You want me to see if I can make him feel better? About being blind?"

Augustus sighed, and added, "Monica dumped him, too. You could say he's in a bad place."

"I'll help him," you pledged.

You were his oldest friend. You'd do your best.

"Thanks, ______." Augustus grinned, and as he went off to pay for his book, you barely noticed his limp, you were so focused on what had just happened.

The rest of the hours of your shift trickled by, each slower than the previous, but at last you were out and texting your mother that you'd be doing stuff.

Going out for a bit, don't wait up for me. - ______

Really? What happened to family night, ______? - Mom

You groaned, and replied,

I'm going to hang out with Isaac. Jeeze, Mom. - ______

Totally okay! I'll pick you up at six - Mom

You knew the way to Isaac's place from anywhere, and running, you made it to his familiarly dilapidated front door, and knocked. Your breath was caught in your throat and feet burned from pounding the asphalt and you knew your cheeks were red hot from the exertion.

When his mother answered the door, you blinked, "______," she breathed, "I haven't seen you for a while."

You bobbed your head solemnly. "I heard about Isaac," you had to take a deep breath from running across town, "Could I -,"

"Go in," his mother stepped back, letting you in. "Shout if you need anything."

Just like the old times.

As you perused the familiar hallways, you could hear Isaac's little brother Graham engrossed by whatever program was showing on the television - "Hey ______!" He called out - but momentarily ignoring Graham, you made it to Isaac's room, the familiar plain door embellished with only a dilapidated post it note that had the word always messily scrawled onto the yellow paper.

And you knocked.

"Go away, Graham," you heard him, your friend Isaac growl.

You cleared your throat. "It's not Graham," you began, "it's, uh, ______."

There was a pause.

Then, "come in."

There was a few things you noticed as you entered the room you had practically grown up in. The blinds were down, lights off. The posters on the walls had changed over the time you had been apart from Isaac - the Toy Story had been traded for X-Men - and you saw - barely, in the shades of grey of shadows he was swathed inside - in the chair underneath the shades, Isaac.

"Hello, ______." He greeted, almost stiffly.

You flipped the lights on, and sat at the edge of his bed. "Augustus Waters, that guy from Support Group, told me to come," you started, "He told me -,"

"He just made the top of my hit list, then," Isaac murmured.

You frowned. "What? No, no, Isaac, I'm not here to give you sympathy. Everyone's probably done it already and sympathy sucks. Being kind doesn't bring back, you know, the gift of sight."

Isaac sat straighter. "This is new," his lip pulled up at once side, "I missed your bluntness, ______."

You looked to your hands. "I - I was told also what happened...with Mon. And I know you're going to do a tough act but I know how much you guys were in love. I was there for half of it."

"_______," Isaac began, "I don't need this speech again."

You closed your eyes, and were shocked to find tears there to greet you. Your breath was hitched when you spoke, "Damn it, Isaac, I'm your friend. A lousy one, looking at it, but I'm still your friend. I'm still supposed to do the stuff family can't do, what strangers won't ever be able."

"________ -,"

"I'm supposed to keep you cancer free and happy and not blind and make sure you're not holed up in your room with nobody to talk to. Augustus was worried enough to come to me, Isaac, and he's one of your newer friends. Seriously." You felt the cool tears slip down your face and onto your lap.

You heard a shuffle and felt a stray hand on your knee. Looking up, you realised Isaac had risen from his perch, and was beside you. Slowly, cautiously, an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

"It doesn't work the wants to sometimes in life, you know - I'm an example of it," he spoke quite sagaciously, "You can't just make all better by being a good friend."

You sniffed. "But, Isaac, I'll be there for you. From now on. For ever. I promise. I'll practically live at your place. I'd hate it if I was you -,"

You were interrupted by a hand on your face, and suddenly, you felt yourself guided to meet his lips. Even without the sight, Isaac could still do the kissing thing quite well.

"I'll be there for you too, _______." He vowed.

#isaac #isaac imagine #isaac x reader #the fault in our stars #the fault in our stars x reader #tfios x reader #isaac tfios x reader #john green fanfic #chaotic--lovely #pendragonfics

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