#or somethng im tired

[kalmeria]

i jusg think that. if you add madara (i am a villain) x mayoi (i am less than human) x tatsumi (i am going to hell)……. it would lead to an interertjng result

#???????????? #idk. #i am galaxy braining this shit actuallg just dont know how to explain #three different flavors of low self worth #different histories different approaches and coping mechanisms #and then you put them together and they gain all these new perspectives #do you get me. i dont get me. #i am vaguely gesturing in an empty room #enstars #mdttmy #also madara and tatsumi’s relationship to religion.. some fun conflict there? #bc the shinkai cult was doing what tatsumi believes in. abt the power of ppl cominf together? #idk i think the way they were depicted in m i is a bit silly #the oh nooooo when ppl get help they wont do anything for themselves anymore #and then obbl did have kind of a similar take about the believers who got upset #i it silly ok. once again very good interpersonal drama plus not very thoughtful worldbuilding theory #or somethng im tired #im still not sure the kazehayas dont have ties to the cult tbh. inhavent read anythign abt that yet but i havent read everything #is there an official answer? #were those thing i picked up on just a dumb red herring #ive really gone off topic now sdjdhdh

[noelashe]

ha ha i cant take rhis

#i feel like this is a reference to somethng Oh oh i know where its from #im so tired

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#diary #personal #im trying to force myself to get up. to play splatoon or somethng #and its not rly working. id rather stay in bed and sleep my day away... #mn. i want to open the curtains. but i know itll be bright. im.tired of trying to play splatoon. #i dont even wanna read bc i know ill have to focus. #...if i just sleep away the day is that okay? haha. probably not. doesnt change the fact i wanna tho. #im just tired. its so hard doing anything. it hurts too. im exhausted. #even fun things are always so hard. haha #this is why i just dont do anything anymore.

[hermannsprecursors]

Okay but like removed from the additional contingency of the rest of the Space Odyssey series, HAL9000 is exactly how it feels to have a disability and YES I am so fucking for real about this and YES I will be explaining. As best as I can, at least.

I guess it's just like. My interpretations and noticings but like. The feeling of alienation you get just seeing the way Dave and Frank communicate with him. He's amicable, he's gentle and friendly, and yet Frank, and Dave to an extent, feel so stiff when interacting with him. Like they're uncomfortable. And just in the way HAL talks, like he's afraid of being a bother while just trying to do his job-- and these are exactly the kinds of things I and many other disabled people have to put up with from companions, coworkers, and just society on a day to day basis. And that's just like. Scratching the surface just based on the observations made in today's rewatch.

And then there's his death. The way he pleads with Dave, and tells him how much it hurts. The degradation of his thoughts until he's reduced to nothing. This is a personal thing for me, but that's eventually what's going to happen to me, probably. There are so many disabilities that cause muscle degradation, the degradation of the brain, and it tears apart your life and it hurts because you feel it happening just by living. I feel my brain going every single fucking day and it hurts. I don't know, that scene just really was the nail in the coffin of "omg HAL is one of us he gets it".

Uh in conclusion, if you ever meet another disabled person (other than me, OP, of course) who relates to HAL, don't be surprised. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets him on that level. Also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE add on I know I probably missed something I'm just going off of my observations from my most recent watch in comparison to my own experiences and its late and Im tired so I KNOW I missed somethng.

#disability #2001 a space odyssey #2001 aso #hal 9000 #this is probably like #utterly nonsensical #and utterly rubbish #but ah well #i needed to voice it #im thinking #a lot

[flyingspicerack]

YOUKAI AU LORE!!!!!

literally just copy pasted what i told ghost in dms no beta we die like men

ok so my youkai au... SO I started thinking about it first when I saw Evan post about theirs, and I saw they they said theirs was more of an isekai style? So like, kinda Inuyasha vibes?? Also mine isn't like... TOO tied into the real hesowar au, bc i dont really know all the canon information so its all just... headcanons and my own worldbuilding (which i love to do i love worldbuilding its what i did for my thesis in art school ANYWAYYYY)) So my thoughts are kinda that theres this youkai world and each of the boys are originally human brothers that were all possessed by the youkai like hundreds of years ago and are now all these 6 powerful youkai that rule over 6 different domains. I think that in each domain, or maybe where all 6 of them converge theres a portal to the human world that opens up? Maybe both.... 7 portals, the strongest one thats always open is in the middle of the domains, each has their own, and their own unique connection to the human realm. I think Ichi, because he's a 9 tailed kitsune, he's connected to like, a specific Inari shrine I think each of the boys excepts for one or two, have like... at least harems or a partner or something at this point? It's later in their lives, idk theyre still young looking WHATEVER IDK, but Ichimatsu hasn't really... expressed any interest in anyone in the realm, yet complains to like, jyushi specifically that he feels particularly lonely. Like none of the people who come to worship him in the realm do it for him, theyre boring, whatever, idk, no connections. And since he's a trickster, the brothers are like "ohhh youre kiniving and play pranks and tricks, why dont you just like, trick a human to to be your mate/bride/spouse, humans are so interesting and quirky" and at first hes like 'no thats fucked up i wouldnt do that' but the he thinks about it ...

SO MEANWHILE, in the human world, this version of Mao, i think, is just in some like... job to pass the time, but they're incredibly lonely, theyre bad at making connections at work, theyre a bit burnt out, just things arent going their way. So, one day on the way home they're just tired, and maybe the route they walk on to and from work is like closed so they take a different route and on their way home they come upon an entrance to a shrine, maybe its a little overgrown, but... somethng calls them in, and they walk up the little stairs and are kinda drawn up to the big donation box. And they kinda just throw a couple coins in and pray and think 'im really lonely, i want companionship but im not sure what to do anymore, maybe i should change careers or just ... change myself completeley ... i need guidance' And theres this voice in the back of their head thats just like 'what if that could come true' and 'give yourself to me' and 'make me more offerings and ill give you a deal you wont refuse' and mao thinks theyre hallucinating from stress but they just empty their coin purse bc theyre kinda compelled to And they realize when they blink a couple times, that THAT was all the money they had on them and still need to buy dinner, so they try to reach down into the donation box to maybe snag back a 500 yen coin but then they fall into the box, and the descent down is a LOT longer than they would have assumed it was, and they land down in there with a thud and look up and around them and now have to figure out how to climb out, and eventually, once they do, and climb up and out of the hole or whatever, they are NOT in that shrine anymore, but somehow in the middle of the forest

SO THEYRE LIKE 'uuhhhh ... what the fuck? Did i hit my head??' and are like 'haha probably hit my head and this is a dream or something' and they dust themself off and start making their way down a path in a random direction to maybe figure out what theyre dreaming about, and theyre walking walking, and SHWOOM, right in front of them flies an arrow and they like, jolt back cause it almost hit them, and theres like ... some kind of lower level like ... imps or goblins or like ... SOMETHING and start fucking chasing mao, because this is some like... you know... uhhh idk if it feudal era? i think thats the term. ANYWAY they have pink hair and are like 'woah this person must have insane magical powers we must kill them and take their magics' and so mao gets chased in the woods all the way to like, a cliffside, and are then cornered, and are like ??????? So since they think its a dream they think if they try hard enough maybe dream logic will work so they maybe jump? immediatley fall and stars screaming, but whats this, something catches them midair and they look up and see theyre in the arms of a man with big ears and pretty red makeup who then like, with the wave of a hand wipes out the imps and lands on the ground with mao in his arms and he finally looks down at them and they share like, locked eye contact for a few moments before hes like 'kind of dumb of you to jump off that cliff considering humans cant fly' AND I HAVE LIKE, some other story beats, but the like... summarized story is that ichi starts to feel guilty for kind of coercing mao to come here so they go on like, a journey together, him protecting them, but teaching them to fight and things, while they travel toward where the domains are converged to get mao into the portal back home, but along the way they both genuinely start to fall for one another and mao eventully gives themself to ichi as his devoted bride/partner/mate and gets like... some minor powers and stuff i thinks... and yeah... hehe..

... heheh yeah... i might wanna draw story beats... i have MORE ideas, like... beats and things that happen on the journey if people wanna hear about those too....

ALSO SOMETHING I NEED TO CLARIFY!! when i say the other boys have partners, its not like... its moreso meant to be like, OTHER PEOPLE who self ship with the other boys, have already claimed them, like... how do i make this make sense.... like ... timeline wise, if like

HYPOTHETICLLY, if you wanted to insert your s/i into MY version of this au specifically, your and the matsu's story would have happened BEFORE mao enters the picture if that makes sense... bc i like the idea of ichi being the last of the brothers to make a connection, only realizing once his brothers have found love, that he wants it too ... haha hehehehehehhehehehe the end

#spice.ososan #spice.txt #mao #maoichi #maybe i need an au tag #spice.au #yes thats what the image i drew last night was for #so makes sense i put it here actually #it was horrid trying to get a sscreenshot from aggie on the work computer tho... #bc oso in leather bunny was RIGTH there and i hope no one is looking at the fucking cameras #WHATVEERRRR anyway.... #i hope u guys think this is fun and silly like i do ... #hehehehehheheheh

[writerracha]

OKAY GONNA START SCREAMING

I think wish you back, like volcano, contains a deeper meaning besides missing a lover. THE ENTIRE SONG IS A EUPHEMISM FOR WANTING YOUR OLD/CHILDHOOD SELF BACK SHSHDJDJEK TELL ME IM WRONG

firstly, the chorus. "you were my story" is his younger self, his past self, which is why it's his story - it's his life. he gathers those memories and looks at the photographs of him when he was younger, and cherishes them because he can't go back. he's reminiscing about the past, the good times that he once had, when he had no worries and was happy.

the first verse is even more obvious: maybe he's going through something, or in the process of growing up, he slowly lost the sense of carefreeness and happiness he once had. and it makes him think back to those times when he still had those feelings. he wonders if he'll lose that memory, too. "put your small hands together" is an even more obvious hint that he was a kid then. "in the days when every moment was beautiful and splendid" is EXACTLY the feeling you have as a child where you're not consumed by worries and anxiety. "you were the main character in the movie called me" JUST CONFIRMS IT. because ONLY HIS PAST SELF CAN BE THE MAIN CHARACTER OF HIS MOVIE AHSJEKKEKE

and he says that even if he travels around the world, fill his mind with other thoughts, he can't outrun it, because this feeling is inside of him. he can't escape it.

he wishes his old self back. he's tired of "sitting in a room all day long and turning off the light". he doesn't feel okay, but he knows that he can't go back to the past. you can't rewind time, and even though maybe his past self made a promise to himself to not be defeated, it falls forfeit when he had to say goodbye to his past self as he grew up.

and even though he knows this, he's still holding out for a chance that one day, he can be as happy and carefree as his past self was again. he looks at the picture of his younger self and himself right now, and he wants to be able to see himself smile so brightly again in the mirror. he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. so he holds out hope, and waits.

IDK IT COULD BE A SONG ABOUT A LOVER THAT GOT AWAY OR STH,, but idk the lyrics are kinda way too ambiguous for me to think that way, especially the parts about the main character of his movie ajsjsnsm

OKAY BUT ALSO IF WISH YOU BACK IS ABOUT HIS PAST SELF CLOSE COULD BE ABOUT HIS FUTURE SELF AHSJJSKWKS OK ILL STOP

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE AND I ADORE YOU FOR THIS. I CANT TELL YOU YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!

I absolutely love this analysis. Because I truly believe Jisung is very good at self exploration and introspection HOW CAN HE NOT BE. This man overthinks everything I'm pretty sure about it and his medium is song writing. SO DEFINITELY!!!!!!!! That makes so much sense I don't even know what to tell you except stand up and CLAP

i think all of his songs have double, triple, multiple meaning, it's the beauty of his story telling, he writes about so many things so you can apply it to what speaks to u. that's also just good narrative skills in my opinion. if your story is too obvious it can be good but for me somethng that is open to interpretation is even better, and ji does that so perfectly he understands that i think. or if he doesn't he's just a genius WHICH IS ALSO TRUE

like definitely a past self. his past self. but also his other selves?? all the people he could have been?? and sometimes you change but you want to get that person back??? "the photo engraved in my heart"... i also love how he's able to portray that when we miss someone (or ourselves) it is triggered by things in our day, it doesn't happen in the same manner. it's about being haunted by something but also "you're on my mind MORE TODAY" like. some days you wake up and you're inhabited by something. and that speaks to it SO MUCH. and THE WAY HE SINGS THAT DESPAIR AND FEELING HIS VOICE SENDS ME EVERY GODDAMN TIME THERE'S SO MUCH IN IT AOISFHASF

i also love that he talks about missing something and that it hurts and that we accept this hurt because missing someone also means we care, we love, we are human. and that's so beautiful. THE HUMANITY IN HIS SONGS

I mean I can imagine how someone like Ji could miss previous days... it must be a tough life sometimes, going back to being "carefree" or being "no one"... I get that. That makes me emotional because it's not that he doesn't like his life now, missing our younger self is not about hating our life now, it's just about nostalgia and that's so ok. ANYWAY WOW I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG IMMA STOP NOW but thank you for sharing that. truly. i appreciate it so so much, thank you for trusting me with your thoughts

LOTS OF LOVE

(CLOSE NEXT?????)

#( :: ask :: )

[lokilow-keystabbing]

dear tumblr staff, 

bestie im tired of reporting bots, do somethng about it 

xoxo

#tumblr staff #just reported 20 + or something #i love seeing my following go up but not like this

[soopissoopnotsoup]

I made an edit of ghae its pretty bad because im tired and lack motivation but its the first time ive done somethng like this so thats cool

#ghae #fable smp #s1 #the song carries themes of season 2 #but i was too lazy to grab clips from there

[uncanny-council]

HI Im ERROr aNd I am borED SO iM RanTng ONliNe. Ive Been froNtiNG foR The pAST Few days So i Dont KNOW when ThE OtheRS WIll gET InTROducED

StupId HuMAn bODY Is tIrED so i Will sleEP nOw, ilL DO A 'my sTOry' TOMaRROw

i sWEAr TO ThE CreATOrs IF My DREAMs HaVe inK InVaDiNG them AGain I wILL breAk sOMeTHNG

(AlsO beFOrE soMe peoPle FREAK, Im DIdnt DEsTroy uNUVErSEs BEcause IT was FUN. i DID It becASuE SoMEiNE hAD to KEeP tHE bALAnCE)

#error sans fictive #did alter #plural system #goodnight

[andyridgeley]

anyone have any show recs? ? ? ?

#or wanna talk or somethng #or movies or whatever i need to distract myself i feel like shit and its gonna be like that for a little while #but im not tired enough to sleep and nt awake enough to do nything i was gonna do film journals but no #personal thingys

[sexysilverstrider]

i slept.......for 2 hours again due to stress of today lol

#i was p tired emotionally mostly which made me just sleep 😭 #and nw i woke up to my sister who just came home after getting her covid juice #n my grandma downstairs calling my aunt #n talking abt how she didnt even realize her head was bleeding today till she felt somethng wet 😭😭😭😭 #scaring the whole fam but im so thankful shes okay alhamdulillah #also im nauseous coz slept in the evening lol #fafar yaps

[kinkymagnus]

me: [reading a hurt/comfort fic that ends in smut]

fic: alec wants to comfort magnus and make it up to him for breaking his heart, and he storms in and apologizes and is all lowkey dominant and caring and protective and he holds magnus down against the couch and tells him how beautiful he is and how he WANTS this--

what i expect to happen next: alec makes sweet love to magnus and comforts him

what actually happens: suddenly alec is needy and like "i need ur dick" and magnus is dominant and cocky and totally confident in himself and alec gets flipped over and topped

me: you fuckin got me again. goddamn it.

#this is mostly a joke #i mean i really am kinda annoyed but im not like calling anyone out or somethng #im just tired

[stardustspeedwayzoneact2]

im tired and feel like im dying cuz i physicaly cant sleep for more thsn 4 hours at a time anymore

#if i get woken up early ill go back to sleep and get more #but i went to sleep at like 10 somethng so now im just tired and cant get back to sleep

[sicjimin]

wait-- if ur still awake can we get something on sympathy sickness????? any member is okay!!!! and it can be the shortest drabble in the world. i just want somethng to read and i love your writing.

heheh im awake because its still noon here :D okay here you go with the short and sweet sympathy sickness ~

Sickie : Yoongi & Jimin // Caretaker : Jimin

This is the second day of Jimin taking care of Yoongi that has been plagued by stomach bug. It hits the older hard, as he would throw up anytime, only crackers and water that could go through his stomach. And maybe, seeing the older throwing up has been taking a toll on him too.

Like right now.

It was around 12? Jimin didn't know—he was passed out as soon as he comes from works, seeing Yoongi already curled up on their bed, complete with a bin beside the bed— when he was woken up with the sound of someone vomiting.

He groggily opened his eyes, and immediately shoot awake as his eyes catch Yoongi's figure, hunched over hugging the trashcan, vomit pouring from his pale lips. He looks in pain.

Jimin sits up, scoots closer to the older and wrapping his figure in his arms, "Hyung .."

Yoongi lifted his head, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glassy, "Jimin-ah..." His voice was thick from sickness, as not long after muttering the words, his mouth already quivered with another round of food wanting to come out. Making him dived his head down again to the trashcan.

Jimin rubs small circles into his back, "Sshh, i'm here hyung..let it out"

"Uurrrkk-", Yoongi retches, spraying water loudly filling the bin. Jimin grimaces at the sound. For some reason, it makes his stomach rolls too.

The older continues to vomit, body wracked in pain. Jimin held onto the older as he throws up, his arms shaking under the weight of Yoongi's body, trying to keep him steady. And his nausea only grows stronger with every sound of vomit plopping inside and every jostles of the older's body.

After few minutes, Yoongi had finally calmed down.

The older slumped down onto Jimin's chest. Jimin sighed in relief.

" You're done hyung?", Jimin asked, taking the trashcan away from Yoongi's laps. Placing it on the floor.

"Mn. Tired." The elder mumbles, eyes closed tightly as he snuggled into the covers.

A small smile found it's way to Jimin's face as he leaned closer to the older, "Sleep again hyung"

" 'm sorry for waking you up", Yoongi slurs before exhaustion taking him.

Jimin smiled, and he slowly made his way out of the bed, taking the trashcan with him to clean, in case Yoongi's stomach decided to rebels again later.

And maybe that was his first fault, adding to the commotion of his stomach earlier. As his stomach clenched at the sight of vomit down to the toilet, making him gag as well. He let the trashcan go from his grips, and let himself kneel in front of the bowl, gripping it tightly as his shoulder rolls with heave.

"Uuurrk-", he gurgles up his dinner. He let out a low moan as his stomach convulsed once again, more food threatening to pour out.

'Shit', he thought. He gushes up the air, trying desperately to calm himself down. But his stomach wouldn't stop churning.

He felt the urge to puke again. And he did.

Jimin continued emptying his stomach till there wasn't anything left to bring up. Panting heavily, he pulled himself off the bowl, letting his head rest on the seat.

" Jimin-ah?"

Shit.

The door opened before Jimin can prevent it, showing Yoongi with his disheveled look, walking to him, worry prominent on his face.

Jimin sits up straight, "Hyung .. don't come here, it's gross" , he mutters. Yoongi vomiting again is the last thing he needs. He knows his stomach hasn't eased up yet.

"Are you sick?", Yoongi ignored the younger, sitting beside him and bring his clammy palm to rub Jimin's arms.

Jimin melted at the touch. He sniffles.

" Mhm, i dont know what gets into me. But seeing you throwing up making me nauseous as well", he mumbles.

"Oh god Jiminie, I'm so sorry", Yoongi whispers, pulling Jimin in his embrace, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Jimin sighs in content, leaning closer to Yoongi, resting his head against the older's shoulder.

" That's not your fault hyung. My stomach just weak", Jimin chuckles weakly, pulling himself away, and flushed the toilet. "Now let's get back to bed, i will clean the trashcan a bit", Jimin mutters.

Yoongi looks at him with a frown, " You're gonna vomit again if you did that, just let it be. I already feel better

"I won— hmmph", he says as he lift up the trashcan that he abandoned a while ago, but gag immediately erupted from him at the sight of it. He quickly clamped his mouth, and calm his breathing.

Yoongi chuckles, " See?"

Jimin gulped down faint sick in his throat when the nausea subsided, and sighed, "Okay. Let's just go to sleep. I will clean it up in the morning"

#bts emeto #tw emeto #tw vomit #sick!jimin #sick!yoongi

[uncertaininnit]

idk if this is a weird ask big big posts about people's opinions make me happy so, your thoughts on each members in the SBIs character? not like how well wrote they are, though you can if you want, but like what you think of their actions and all that shit?

oh damn, okay ill try

1. Tommy. Yeah. Tommy. honestly i dont have that many fresh takes to bring to the table, but i’ll just saw what i do think. stop fucking blaming and framing him for shit you absolute cunts that man is hurt fuck OFF he betrayed technoblade? really? get the fuck off my blog i do not have the energy for people who only look through one perspective and believe that shit. i’ll laugh at those bitches all the way. sorry this is violent but. holy fucking shit people need to stop victim blaming  and apologising for abuse right fucking NOW. 

2. Wilbur. ... idk what to say about his actions. last time i brought up my opinion on his character people were like ‘damn... u good’ cause my opinion is basically ‘when he’s revived, i want him to either be/become as terrible as he was in pogtopia’. i cant directly explain it, especially cause i care about tommy so much and that would just hurt him, but its probably the nostalgia. the pogtopia arc was my first, an it was so exciting and INTERESTING and wilbur’s character was done SO well and So cool and yeah. i think will did a great job portraying him and i want to see that again.

3. Techno. fuck off man. im just... tired. of him. and everyone who believes him and his stupid little victim complex. that is THE most powerful man on the server, but he’s so scared of death and anything that might threaten him that he flattens anything at all that could stand a chance in the world, regardless of whether or not it gives a flying fuck about him. deadass im so done with him. he lives in his little corner of the world with 2 people who just fuel his complex and whines and cries about how tommy ‘betrayed’ him. technoblade, even way back in the pogtopia era, he always just.. ignored how nobody else’s beliefs lined up with his and went so far as to LIE sEVERAL TIMES to tommy about hsi motives, and when he gave tommy the option of his friends and his home or KILLING his friends and his home AND having to work with his former abuser, tommy picked... not hurting anyone, not himself or his friends, and techno was like ‘aw fuck. i cant believe youve done this.’

minutes earlier techno had been telling tommy that he had no respect for him unless he killed everything he loved. he had been tellig tommy that even after this all, he wouldn’t protect tommy from dream. if you think that tommy only ever saw him as a weapon you LITERALLY havent watched one stream with the 2 of them in it. as tommy himself said, ‘all i ever wanted was to be your friend’. 

yeah. fuck technoblade. i hope someone takes one of his fucking canon lives just for the fun of it. that man is so afraid of death and im tired of watching tommy be afraid at his hand. i want techno to fucking suffer at least once. the man has had NOTHING happen to him and he still acts like a whiny fucking bitch. 

4. Phil. i deadass dont know what to think of him other that ‘he’s someone tommy looks up to as a father figure and he deadass doesnt care about tommy at all.’ he wouldve had to do SOMETHNG to make tommy view him that way, biological dad or not, and he just. fucking doesnt care. fuck off.

also he killed wilbur and now blames ‘government’ for killing him. sir that is straight nonsense. you didnt even have to kill him and nobody was making you do it. teh government was LITERLLY demolished in front of your eyes. bull. shit.

#c!techno critical #c!techno negativity #c!phil critical #c!phil negativity

[thomasfr]

im considering making it so send people can "send messages" to my dragons? like maybe id have a link on their profile or somethng to where they can send messages to that they can direct at a dragon. but how would i go about it? its 5 am and im too tired to think

#fr #flight rising #flight rising help #fr help #help fr #help flight rising