#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

#thessaly #wanda the sandman #hob gadling #I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here* #2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom #also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was. #i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on #but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian) #what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder #if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because #my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit #if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no #and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom... #like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov #and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter #like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was #for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real #Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no) #a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing #people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom) #whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you #if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then #Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly #especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!! #never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty! #(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom #I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)

[angeloncewas]

dont wanna make this ask long bc i am tired and dont have the energy to be a well spoken (?) person rn but it probably will be long anyways, so sorry!! but like. as somebody who has hyperfixated on both idubbbz and schlatt (along with a plethora of other problematic content creators, i really know how to fuckn pick em!!) they absolutely foster a dogshit community, at least outside of platforms like tumblr, where like. you cant really avoid fandom culture like you can on twitter or ig, if that makes sense. on here, if you wanna post about your favorite youtuber, whether you tag it or not, other fans will likely see and if you say some bad shit, you will likely get called on it, whereas on ig basically only your followers will see it even if you use a hashtag and on twitter its like if you arent in a subtwt/fandom then you basically dont interact with any subtwt at all unless its an accident, ya know?

so like. i think what im trying to say here is that while ive met a lot of fans of both these creators, especially schlatt, who are great people as far as i can tell, i am also specifically on the fandom side of things and as soon as i step out of that space i realize that a lot of people who watch them are not actually minorities like me and my mutuals who can catch on to satire or who watch their more behind the scenes stuff where you can see them act like a decent person or even call out people for the things they usually joke about which just. fucking sucks. it sucks that, as much as i do believe schlatt is actually a good person (and sort of idubbbz, although i dont really watch him much anymore for a plethora of reasons, mostly related to the fact that i cant stand his jokes anymore even if he is playing a character as he's said before), he also keeps doing terrible fucking things and im really glad his actual friends have been calling him on it recently, especially after that jackbox video (which is a whole other thing on its own bc it literally seemed like nobody wanted to be there basically the entire video?? like as somebody who watched all the jackbox videos before that one, it was really fucking off in that call and the jokes were next level fucking upsetting), but sometimes it's just kinda like. exhausting. bc his community is already fucking bad now, you cant undo accidentally fostering a community of fucking racist homophobes who dont get that you're playing a character, unless you kinda drop off and build a whole new community from that, which would be stupid to do at this point in his career. not really sure where i was going with this tbh, but i thought i would chime in on this discussion as a viewer of mainly schlatt, but also a past idubbbz viewer who is basically a seasoned fucking vet at dealing with shitty fanbases because of him and many other dumb youtube white boys

(also, note on that anisa thing: ian's main fanbase was definitely pissed just bc she does sex work and a lot of them are too fucking young or just too fucking dense i guess to clock the fact that he's putting on an act bc, like i said before, they either dont watch his behind the scenes content, or they do and they kinda just miss those moments between still trying to entertain where he gets genuine. that being said, a lot of people outside of his fanbase were also pissy bc anisa is a less than spectacular lady if you really do your research on her, kind of a bad person but it's not something a lot of people know about, especially since one of the few videos made on it was by fucking creepshow art)

sorry for the rant again, i feel like i do this every other week now and i apologize, you just seem to have the best discourse and i enjoy partaking <3 hope you have a good rest of your day/night/whatever time you're reading this!

—🦷

Thank you for the input (don't mind the rant !) and I hope you have a good rest of your day too <3 For post length, I'll answer under the cut :)

Yeah, I get what you mean (I think ahdsufsd). Fandom as a concept is pretty... I don't even know how to describe it, but it's the kind of thing that I feel like white male Redditors would think of as pussy shit, y'know? Like the Ricegum gang isn't a fucking "fandom" they're a... well, a fandom, but they're not gonna admit to that. So when you step outside of a community like Tumblr (the queerest place on the internet TM) you come into contact with the faces of the fandom you're dealing with and oftentimes they're a lot less like you than you might've thought from the similar interest. It's like going to a Weezer concert and realizing you're surrounded by incels (this is a JOKE).

Satire's a rough topic because some people don't think it should exist at all. Like any words that can be directly interpreted as bigoted or problematic should not be uttered. I disagree with that, I think it's one of the most interesting forms of both social commentary and comedy, but I do see the problem. There are people who watched Filthy Frank (to take an example from that other anon) and didn't know or care what the point of his actions were (I don't know what they were tbh - I never watched him, but it sounds like he's a pretty decent dude) and instead read his jokes as-is. There are thousands upon thousands of people who aren't gonna get satire and that's a problem because if they're already bigoted they're gonna see people like Schlatt and iDubbz and whoever else as truly validating.

(Largely unrelated but yo, is iDubbz still going? Are the views alright? Is the adsense popping? Has he just kept going with Content Cops? I haven't heard about him since the girlfriend thing dropped.)

"you cant undo accidentally fostering a community of fucking racist homophobes who dont get that you're playing a character, unless you kinda drop off and build a whole new community from that"

I think this is what's pertinent when it comes to discussing Schlatt. After the Jackbox video (for me at least, he might've been there before) he put himself at a crossroads. If he'd apologized, said "sorry, I took it too far, that was a mistake" - yeah, plenty of people wouldn't have forgiven him and plenty of bigoted fans of his would've said that the apology was just to placate the snowflakes on Twitter, but to the sort of in-between people it would've shown that he's able to recognize and reconcile his mistakes. He could've transitioned into content that's A) actually good (when I say that the video was bad I don't just mean in terms of racism, I mean it straight up was not entertaining) and B) less "edgy" for the sake of. I wouldn't expect him to go uwu squeaky clean, but he's already reeled in the bad people, so if he really wanted to foster a good, progressive audience, he has to do something significant to show that.

But he didn't.

Maybe for the sake of his career, maybe because he likes those bigoted fans, maybe because he just doesn't get it - I don't know. I don't think we'll ever know. I spoke earlier about doing what is right over what is easy and in the case of Schlatt it just feels like he really did take the easy way out. Whoever he is in his personal life doesn't change how he's perceived online and the kinds of people that are idolizing him for it.

(And yeah I saw the video on Anisa when I Googled her to check if they were still dating, but then I saw who it was made by and I was like oh well whatever avhfdfkj)

#this is kind of rambly but oh well #angel answers #🦷 anon #discourse #negative #cc critical #idk how to tag this stuff just telae jsfkbg #long post

[thelifelessbookofhope]

honest thoughts on ACOWAR

In this post, I am going to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly. I have no intention whatsoever to drag SJM – I’ll be forever thankful that she brought these amazing characters and this beautiful, touching story to my life. I do think, though, that we as a fandom can still love and appreciate something but recognize its flaws and address them through POSITIVE, constructive criticism. This is what this post is about.

1. MOR

Some people have pointed out that Mor coming out as bi was OOC. I disagree because I think there is no way we can judge these things based on personality alone, if you know anything about sexuality you’ll agree that these are very different matters – but I do think that Mor’s description of being bi didn’t hit home, and that’s okay because SJM herself is not bi so that would be a hard scene for her to write and at least she is putting some effort into it.

2. DIVERSITY

Sarah clearly outdid herself in this one. Her other books do not address color as openly and as diversely as this one, and she went out of her way to make sure that we knew the courts were composed of people of very different ethnicities/sexualities. I saw people complaining that she didn’t describe facial features that define race such as nose etc so that we could get a better picture of what they look like, but again, she is trying and to her credit, she doesn’t describe the facial features of the white characters as much either except for the eyes, that she always seems to focus on. So here’s to progress.

3. RHYS

Okay, I have a problem with Rhysand’s character in this book – where is the male that we fell in love with in ACOMAF? I still loved him, of course, but gone was his strength along with his wittiness. He didn’t display an inch of the most-powerful-High-Lord-in-Prythian part of him, and his relationship with Feyre became all about him giving everything to her instead of them being the healthy, balanced couple that supported but also challenged each other whenever needed like we saw in ACOMAF.

4. SMUT

No, I do not think the smut was unnecessary. I think this is a series for adults – as opposed to Throne of Glass, which didn’t need smut in my opinion – and sex is a daily part of the lives of the characters. The scenes could have been more well played out though, because sometimes they did feel just like rushed filling scenes. Which brings me to my next point.

5. THE BOOK WAS RUSHED

Yes, it was. The ending most of all. The angst and the pain that developed these characters and that made us love them from the start weren’t well addressed, and that made it all seem superficial sometimes if compared to the depth to which they were explored in ACOMAF. It felt like she just wanted to end things already, so she didn’t explore the complexity of how affected they were by everything that was going on.

6. FEYRE

Do you really, honestly believe that the Feyre who crossed an entire forest and hunted and killed every single one of Hybern’s soldiers who dared put a hand on Rhys would have shunned away from battle beside him? I get that maybe in ideal conditions, where Rhys wasn’t fighting, she probably would have chosen not to either. But with him out there, there isn’t a chance in hell she would have stood on the sidelines and watched. For fuck’s sake, girl, it went against every single one of your instincts that roared in that forest during ACOMAF. She wouldn’t have watched idly by while her mate and friends went to the front lines themselves, she would have wanted to be there beside them. At least, the Feyre that we met in ACOMAF would. It honestly was a fucking letdown to me. I was waiting for her to kill some Hybern soldiers, I was craving it – for her to stand her own, to put herself out there. It was the fucking character development that she deserved, to fly with Ilyrian legions as Rhysand’s mate, as his EQUAL. Everything had been building towards this, for her to be beside him in every single sense. That was the fucking Nephelle philosophy that she deserved, not fucking Tamlin stepping in to save her in his useless redemption arc. That's what bothered me the most in this book.

7. FEYRE’S FATHER

I’ve seen some people complain that Feyre’s dad showing up with the ships in the end felt like a cop-out, and I have to disagree. It surprised me that it turned out like this because I honestly thought he was going to be used by her enemies since he had been mysteriously gone for too long, but it was the best kind of surprise – it fit his character development and it made me cry my eyes out and clutch at my chest in the worst/best possible ways.

8.NESSIAN

I loved their dynamics. I mean I truly, fucking loved it and if SJM doesn’t give them an entire series of their own I will certainly feel wronged because OH. MY. GOD. she had me so invested in them.

9. OVERALL

It was a good book. It WAS, though it felt rushed and lacked sincere reflections and didn’t have half the pull and depth of ACOMAF. But trilogies, as a rule, are really hard to wrap up and Sarah has been listening to the fandom – that much is obvious, since she went out of her way to please us in aspects that were commonly discussed online, like the diversity thing. She’s trying, and I’m still her faithful reader because her books make me feel the most wonderful things and despite her flaws – which we all have – she creates real, raw characters and worlds that will forever live in my heart. So let’s acknowledge things for what they actually are, instead of just bashing her and being unnecessarily negative towards a person who brought us something so precious. We should be kissing her feet, honestly.

#don't hate appreciate #acowar #acowar spoilers #a court of wings and ruin #sjmaas #sjm books #feysand

[blackdocs]

Cymbalta Sux

It really does.

I’m that cooperative patient who cops the side effects of a new med waiting in hope that a better mood and functionality are around the corner. But this one made me batshit crazy. The whole time I was on it (about 6 weeks) I couldn’t sleep. I was late for work constantly (lucky I have good bosses who understood as I gave them the truth - which I don’t advise unless you really have extraordinary bosses!)

That took a little pressure off. But hey, I still have to get up, work, care for other people, do all the things my job requires of me, and keep the house clean, shower, eat and excuse me here but for FUCKS SAKE SLEEP!!!

I forgot to take it on Thursday (It’s Sunday now), and spoke to my psych who said to choose between Dothep (good for sleep and depression) and Valdoxan (newer on the market and to be honest I don’t really know much about it).

I then spoke to my GP who agreed Cymbalta shouldn’t be used, and she disagreed with Dothep so I walked out with Diazepam, Codeine, Stillnox and Valdoxan. I also spoke with the pharmacist. No one knows how to transition people. Should there be a “washout” period? My psych thinks I shouldn't quit anti-depressants. Doctor suggested 3 days to a week. Pharmacist suggested a week. But here’s the clincher - the withdrawals from the CYMBALTA!!!!

You can’t reduce the dose as it’s a 30mg capsule. I have long known that I’m sensitive to most medications, so starting on a high dose or quitting abruptly never really works. 30mg might be a low dose, but there’s no way to cut it down slowly.

But I’ve quit. I started to feel manic - or self diagnosing here, experiencing some “hypomania”. Talking fast, talking more, less filtered in what came out of my mouth. Making purchases I wouldn’t normally, not sleeping, having trouble waking up and feeling kinda overall homicidal! (OK I’ll tone that down to mood swings!)

It’s been 4 days and I’m feeling atrocious. I made the mistake of reading about Cymbalta withdrawals online (cos I wanted to know if how I was feeling was normal). Apparently it is. I take the online with a grain of salt. But there were some very common symptoms in almost all the forums.

I’ve had an upset gut, can barely stomach food, am overwhelmed with anxiety, dizzy, achey all over, and my short term memory is playing up. I signed a form in front of my GP, and less than 30 seconds later said to her “Hey we haven’t signed the form”!! I start doing stuff and can’t remember what I’ve done just moments before. I’ve got tingling through my body, nausea, and intense cravings for smoking cigarettes. I’m having trouble starting a task, or completing it once I eventually get started, and for the most part have just hidden out for two days avoiding the world. Tears fill my eyes constantly.

I’m not doing anything and feel restless, but have no motivation to do something as simple as cook up a quick stirfry so I’ve got something more than toast to eat!

I’ve resorted to taking some extra diazepam to help with the anxiety. It’s not really working, but at least I feel like I’m doing something.

I’m taking a chemical break. My serotonin, dopamine and neurotransmitters are all fucked up (see = no filter my language is usually much more polite), and they need a holiday from meds. It’s such a shame the mirtazipine has the weight gain, as I really did feel good on that.

So day 4. According to the interwebs it takes months for these feelings to go away. I can’t take it. It feels horrible. It would be nice to just sleep a few days away and wake up and feel ok again.

On a positive note a lot of the factors in my life that lead to the medications in the first place aren’t there anymore. No more workplace bullying - instead the best managers I’ve ever had. My housemate is thoughtful and kind. My dog is awesome. I have good friends. Maybe I don’t need the meds anymore and they tipped me into an unnatural state? Another bonus is thanks to anxiety and nausea and a loss of appetite with an upset gut the mirtazapine weight is dropping off at lightning speed and my clothes fit again.

Even writing this, I’m starting to fall asleep and have trouble concentrating……

#cymbalta #cymbalta withdrawals #cymbalta sux #depression #anxiety #everything's fucked