#phq: pammati

[kozutenshi]

you can feel the thorns of the flowers that they threw down on the casket as it disappears out of plain view. through the white lace covering your face, the same colored roses rolled off to the ground under the pearly white and gold of the finely made wood coffin get swallowed by the dirt from the shovels of the workers.

you sat idly as you clasped your hands together, your tears blurring your vision once again.

AN-ANNONG

— a superstition. old people tell us young to not loiter much after sunset due to roaming spirits that might 'touch' us as we go home.

— to counter, we must chant "maykan, (y/n)" until we reach our house and enter it safely, an expression that tells "come with me, (y/n)" in english which means you're beckoning your soul to come home with you and not stay there with the spirits, especially if you really loved that certain place.

(a/n: i still do this everytime i go somewhere lmfao im a scaredy cat pls hold my hand-)

SERIES MASTERLIST

"children, wash your hands properly after playing, alright?" the faces of the children lit up as you smiled at them softly, a chorus of gratitude and joy reaching your ears. you watched them waddle away, forming a circle and deciding who is 'it' before laughing and running to their hiding places.

the day was in a perfect temperature, the sun shining neither too bright nor too dim. it was, overall, peaceful.

"3! 2! 1! i'm coming!"

you laughed as the other children tense up with the approach of the 'it'. you smiled at them fondly until you felt a touch on your shoulder.

a touch of coldness, something out of nowhere under the sunny rays. gulping, you paid it no mind as you toyed with the two rings your lover had once given you. the embedded stone in one of them sparkled under the light, making kuroo smile from behind your shoulder.

"you still wear it, huh?"

you couldn't hear him; he knew you wouldn't. besides,

he's dead.

how can you hear the voice of the dead?

it was futile, but he went in front and reached towards you to cup your face, eliciting a shiver from you. the icyness of his touch was more like an air to you that didn't leave your cheek for minutes, before you felt a small cold tap on your forehead, a kiss from kuroo.

"how i wish.."

you stood up shaking, your eyes scanning for a sign before you noticed the sun was about to set. "children, let's go home!"

"yes teacher!"

the children chanted under their breaths as they left the playground walking behind you, the same one where you had met kuroo when you were children.

in your haste, you found yourself at home, the emptiness of your house sinking in, and the realization that you didn't chant it.

you suddenly felt weak, something that kuroo had immediately noticed. he tried to touch you, but found himself unable to as he realized it was his fault.

"kuroo, are you there?"

he froze as he saw the tears in your eyes. he took in your face, your weak figure holding on to the couch. "i didn't know you were capable of such effect, nerd." he chuckles but shortly stopped as you drew in a deep breath. "you're still watching over me? i don't know if i should be glad about that, but, i feel blessed to still have you by my side."

til death do us part, was it? but even in death, he was with you.

"you know the consequence of touching me, yet you still did it, you dork. i'm very fragile right now. maybe if you told me to get some iron and vitamin c for my immune system to be at a good shape before touching me then i would be better."

kuroo silently listened and watched as you rambled about the children, how it felt nice to be a motherly figure to all of them who never found their own. touched was an understatement, especially when he heard a sniffle from you.

"i.. i just wish you were here with me.

not a day in my life, i had forgotten about you. not a day did i not yearn for you. why must you be gone so early?"

tears trickled down your face as you fully sobbed, his heart that was once beating, aching in his chest.

"we could have had our own. we could have fulfilled more of our dreams."

kuroo stood stonily as he watched you reach for the remote for the television. this, for him, was a common sight. you sat on the couch, clutching a pillow in between your arms as your tears fell, the familiar wedding song filling your ears, the wedding video blurry to your eyes.

he probably also should have the urge to cry, but a part of him is cringing at how awkward he looked at some shots that he just couldn't.

instead, he was overwhelmed with the urge to take you in his arms, hold you until you stopped crying. it pained him that he can not do so, that he won't be able to comfort you.

a knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts, and you bregudgingly marched towards the door, not feeling much through the head ache.

"how can i hel-”

"you look like a mess again."

your chuckle floated across the room, and if kuroo's heart was still beating, he probably would've felt it speed up. kenma stood at the door with food in his arms. "mean as always, kenma."

"i'm just saying, will kuroo like it if he sees you crying everyday?"

you froze, noticing the underlying pain in his eyes. kuroo watched both of you fill with silence, before he stood up, making his way to the door.

"he's here, y'know. he was just here."

it was his turn to freeze. "i think i got a fever from his touch, literally." kenma blinked at you before sighing. "maybe yo-"

"you think, it was his way of telling me to let him go?"

the words got stuck on his throat as kenma tried to find the right words. kuroo watched as he struggled, a part of him unsure but still, despite the way you tensed, he enveloped his arms around you one last time.

"that's right."

a brush on your cheek.

"let me go, y/n."

a ghost of a hand holding yours.

"i'll see you in another life."

then the hand slipped.

just like that, his cold presence disappeared and you wanted to sob, you wanted to collapse.

but instead, you let the tears fall, let a part of him go, and smiled.

that's right. 'til death do us part.

"maybe it is, right, kenma?"

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