#please let me know what the reason was for uhura touching her lips and smiling afterwards if it wasn't supposed to be gay

[ezrisdax-archive]

#trekedit #nyota uhura #christine chapel #chahura #** #trek femslash #please let me know what the reason was for uhura touching her lips and smiling afterwards if it wasn't supposed to be gay #2k

[440mxs-wife]

Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @marvelouslytrekking​ @spacedancer1701​ @anna-phora​

#aimees1600wc #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader #star trek aos

[hailbop1701]

Curing a Rainy Day

A sort of five times Star Trek gen fic for your viewing pleasure. I mentioned I would write it but please be aware that I wrote this on my phone late at night and I has no beta. Typos and mistakes will be found. 🤣

-H❤🖖

Word Count: 2,166

Sulu:

Leonard McCoy wasn’t a huge touchy-feely type of man. Well, that’s what he really wants folks to think anyway. He was a doctor and that meant it was his oath-bound duty to cure what ails his patients. Whether it was from a physical malady or an emotional one. The first time he initiated his “Rainy Day Cure” --title courtesy of his daughter-- to one of the command crew he was surprised that it was Sulu of all people. If Len were being honest he thought it would have been Jim. Sure he had hugged the kid in the past but he always let Jim be the one to initiate contact. The reason why is complicated and a story for another time. 

When he found him the young pilot was huddled alone in Observation Room Five, his shoulders hunched, his down so his eyes were hidden and mind lightyears away. Leonard had a feeling he knew where. The chaos after Khan and Marcus had caused a lot of damage, and not all of it was physical. They were all still healing even a year later. They had left Kronos not three hours ago and according to the mission report, Sulu’s younger sister was…

Not who she claimed to be. ‘Yuki,’ McCoy recalled her name lamely as he made his way loudly over to the depressed man.

She revealed that she worked for Section 31 and was determined to fix the Federation the right way. Though the term “Right way” is skewed for many folks. War was almost started, again and the Enterprise had to stop it, again. Section 31 now had the last little pebble of Red Matter and was holding it like a…” Nuclear deterrent” as the old saying goes. 

Shaking his head Leonard pushed recent events to the back of his mind and continued on his own mission. Plopping down on the couch that faced the giant window of stars, McCoy leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees. 

He didn’t offer his apologies or sympathies, he knew Sulu didn’t want them. So they sat in silence. Sulu just shook his head and looked up at the doctor with confusion and betrayal in his eyes. “I don’t - I” he stopped swallowing and the helmsman looked so young Leonard didn’t even think about it until after he had already done it. 

He wrapped an arm over Hikaru’s shoulder and squeezed. Sulu stilled for a moment before relaxing and saying what needed to be said, a weight slowly lifting off his shoulders and his chest. 

Scotty:

Leonard and Scotty were both having a terrible terrible time. The cold sucked in Leonard’s opinion and being trapped on an ice ball of a planet only confirmed his feelings. Looking over at the Enterprises Chief Engineer, Leonard had a feeling that he wasn’t alone in his thoughts and feelings. 

The Scot was curled into a tight ball up against the last running console the entire ‘Fleet base had. He was shivering and muttering to himself, glaring at the distress signal he had rigged up. There was nothing they could do but wait. Rubbing his hands together to warm them Leonard moved toward the console and slid down to the floor next to Scotty. Touching shoulders with Scotty, McCoy tucked his hands under his arms and sighed. There was nothing he could really say to ease the engineer’s anxiety -- which stemmed from Delta Vega no doubt --  so he simply let his presence be enough. 

Scotty glanced at Leonard to see that he was looking back at him with calm understanding. Grunting Scotty curled himself closer to the CMO and let the man wrap an arm around his shoulders. They didn’t speak a word and only moved when they heard the sounds of the rescue party on the other side of the sealed doors. 

Chekov:

Pavel Chekov was the youngest of the command crew, so he was automatically protected and treated like the youngest sibling of a giant family. The navigator understood that his friends didn’t mean to and that it was just sometimes a reflex but he was getting damn tired of it. Today was his birthday, he had finally turned twenty! Chekov was so pleased to find that after the incident with Khan he was being treated like he should. There was one person who always treated him like he was young and precious. 

Pavel found that he didn’t mind so much. Doctor McCoy treated almost everyone that way -- even though he wasn’t that much older than the rest of them --  in an almost fatherly manner. A true caretaker. Chekov allowed the behavior from no one but McCoy. 

Leonard walked into “Rec Room Two” taking in the crowd with a softening scowl. A small wrapped parcel gripped in his hand. He looked down at the present, weighing it in his hands carefully.  With a sigh, McCoy strode through the room looking for the birthday boy. Jim waved at him wildly from the other side of the room a huge grin on his face. Narrowing his eyes, Leonard saw that his captain wasn’t in fact drunk at all. Grunting in approval he smiled at Chekov who was hurrying over to greet him. 

“Happy Birthday Pavel,” 

Chekov grinned and his eyes widened at the present presented to him. Leonard gestured for him to open it and the young man did excitedly. The wrapping paper littered the floor a long black box in its place. Slowly opening the box the navigator knocked a silver antique pocket knife into his hands. Examining it closely he looked up at McCoy in confusion. 

Leonard shifted nervously on his feet. Clearing his throat he pulled out a similar from his belt. “My daddy gave me this one to match his when I turned twenty. I know your pa wasn’t around as you grew up and so I thought…” his sentence fell into silence. For once Leonard McCoy was at a loss for words. Pavel quickly wiped a stray tear from his eye and grinned at his friend holding onto the gift tightly. 

“Thank you doctor!” he said gratefully and Leonard understood that it was for more than just a knife. A small smile graced the CMO’s lips and pulled the kid in for a hug. 

With anyone else, Pavel would have been annoyed. This was an exception. 

Uhura:

Leonard was tired. He longed for his bed but as he looked around at all of the injured crew he pushed the longing away. There was no time for it. Rubbing the blurry fatigue from his eyes he pushed on. Triage, surgery, aftercare. He really didn’t truly stop to breathe until the middle of gamma shift when the ship was sleepy and quiet. The only noise was the soft beeps and whistles of monitors. His nurses quietly whispering and working. 

Christine hours ago told him to stop worrying and to go to bed already but something in him just couldn’t. Blinking dumbly down at the PADD in his hands he sighed and signed off on the next round of Spock’s antibiotics. During the Enterprises most recent scuffle the bridge took a hit and the science station exploded sending the first officer flying, earning him a ticket to medical. 

After the fight was over and things had only calmed down to a trickle of wounded instead of a flash flood, Nyota Uhura breezed through sickbay’s doors. She waited patiently and even helped where she could. When Spock came out of surgery and was placed in a private room she immediately went to his side and hasn’t moved an inch since. Jim would have been right beside her if he could afford to. But it appears the admiralty wanted words and had kept him busy since. McCoy had barely just convinced him to get some sleep saying that he would call if anything changes. 

That was three hours ago. 

Leonard walked -- though Nyota would say shuffled -- into Spock’s room, his eyes going straight to the monitors above the bed. The half Vulcan was resting peacefully. McCoy knew it was only a matter of time before he woke and would go into a healing trance. Something that should be monitored anyway. Leonard quietly wondered who he would grant the opportunity to slap Spock awake this time…

“Leonard!” 

The sound of his name made the CMO snap his head in Uhura’s direction. Her eyes were fire, filled with frustration, exhaustion, and worry. McCoy winced, “Sorry Nyota, guess my mind wandered a bit,” he said somewhat sheepishly. Her expression softened a flash of guilt passing through her features. 

“You need more rest. You’re going to run yourself into the ground at this rate,” she scolded half-heartedly. McCoy gave her a small smile and a shrug, 

"I'll rest when I'm not needed." He whispered and badly covered up a yawn. The hidden meaning behind his words wasn't lost on the linguist though. She pressed her lips into a tight line deciding not to comment. Instead, she rested her gaze on Spock once more her hand inches away from his. 

So deep in thought, Nyota hadn't even realized that McCoy had left and come back, a tray with a couple of hypos in his always unwavering hands. Catching her eyes he gave her another encouraging smile. He took care to tell her everything he was doing and how it would help keep infection away. Leonard knew he didn't have to explain but he felt it necessary to fill the quiet with "Illogical chatter" as Spock would surely call it. 

Uhura was so tired and so frazzled that she was startled to find the CMO crouching in front of her with concern all over his face. "You need to get some rest Nyota. I can have a cot brought in if you'd like…" 

Uhura, let a few tears fall before she bottled it up again. She shook her head wiping her face, "I'm alright Leo. Everything is just catching up to me…" she mumbled with a watery chuckle. Leonard snorted at the nickname she had given him, 

"Just let me know darlin' " 

And without truly thinking about it he pulled her into a hug. It only took Uhura a second to process what was happening before she wrapped her arms around him tightly. A genuine smile breaking across her face. The first time in hours she felt content, safe, and able to truly breathe. 

Jim: 

James T. Kirk was a touchy-feely type of man. Leonard supposed it may be from a less than stellar childhood. So whenever Jim would pull him into a one-armed hug or slapped his back or even leaned up against him, McCoy would let him. He would definitely bitch but only half-heartedly, Leonard needed to keep up appearances after all. 

So when they found Jim partially dead, hanging from his wrists in a cave all smirks and charm…

Well, no one batted an eye when -- after he made sure that the man would live -- Leonard pulled his best friend in for a hug. Jim just laughed, laid an arm over McCoy's shoulder, and leaned into the hug. 

"I only had to get tortured and offered to an alien God for you to hug me. Good to know," 

"Shut up Kid," 

Spock:

No one ever thought the words McCoy, Spock, and hug would ever be uttered but stranger things have happened on the Enterprise. 

No stranger than an alien device that turned back time. In a physical sense anyway. Leonard looked down at his adolescent hands and sighed with a heavy eye roll. "Not this again," he grumbled with a shudder. 

Looking around the room he saw Jim shouting at Mudd who had bought the alien weapon and decided to point it at him and Spock. McCoy tilted his head, his eyes going comically wide. 

Spock! 

Where was the green-blooded rugrat? Leonard looked around and sighed in relief at the sight of the first officer. He was hidden under a rickety wooden table. Crouching down Leonard gave Spock a small smile, he waved and gestured for the Vulcan to come closer. Apparently the younger you go the further your mind goes with it. Spock had a mentality of a...of well, a toddler. He couldn't have been more than two. 

Spock stared at Leonard intensely before darting out and crashing into his legs. McCoy stumbled a little before he got his footing. Spock looked up at him with wide scared eyes, tears threatening to fall. 'Must have gotten all Vucan-y at four or five,' Leonard thought as he picked up his friend. 

Leonard pulled Spock close, hugging him to his chest whispering softly. Spock seemed confused for only a moment before he buried his head into the young CMO's neck. 

Jim of course saw it all and later under the threat of meeting his end via an airlock kept his mouth firmly shut. The only thing the Starship Captain said -- which everyone agreed-- Doctor Leonard McCoy could absolutely cure a rainy day. 

Tags:

@lauraaan182, @chickadee-djarin, @cowenby2, @bluesclues-1234, @sayuri9908,

#star trek aos #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #jim kirk #james t kirk #spock #mister spick #nyota uhura #pavel chekov #hikaru sulu #montgomery scott #fanfiction #hailey the queen of typos

[winterverses]

Walking Wounded - Chapter Thirty-Seven

Looking back, Anne could never quite remember how things started or who’d woken up who, but it took until midafternoon for them to keep their hands off each other long enough to scrounge up some food and check for anything that needed their attention. Spock had left a message for both her and Uhura saying that there were some pots and soil in one of the science labs. Uhura had suggested a time for them to get together. Anne tapped out thanks and acceptance with shaky fingers. Jim dropped a tray of snacks on the nightstand and collapsed back onto the bed near where she sat, then seemed to notice how close that put him to her thigh and gently sank his teeth into it. Anne fumbled and nearly dropped the padd, gasping as a shiver ran up her spine. “Oh my god, stop, wait, I just have one more message here.”

Obviously knowing she didn't mean it, Jim ignored her, pushing himself up and letting his lips trail further up her thigh. Anne quickly checked the last message, hoping to reply to it before she got carried away. It was from Mr. Chekov, who’d asked her to meet him in the sensor lab in… one hour. And he’d sent the message first thing that morning. “Shit.” Anne quickly tapped out an acceptance and an apology.

Jim paused. “Hmm?”

“Mr. Chekov needs to see me in an hour.”

Teeth grazed the inside of her thigh. “Tell him two hours. At least.”

“Shit. I already said yes.” Anne sighed and logged out of the padd, tossing it away. It hit the end of the bed and slid off, thumping on the floor.

“Uh-oh,” Jim said, with an extreme lack of concern. “I guess I’ll just have to give you a reason to come back quick.”

Anne’s answer was just an inarticulate noise as his lips found a sensitive spot.

Nearly an hour later, Anne was dreamily shrugging into a dress, something short and loose and flowing, her hair still wet from the shower and pinned up and out of her way. Kirk lay on the bed, skin still flushed and damp, a hint of a very satisfied smile on his lips. Tugging the high neckline of her dress straight, Anne let her eyes sweep over him, thoroughly regretting that she had to leave instead of cuddling up to his side and just… She cut herself off. If she wasn’t careful, she would be late.

“I am not kissing you goodbye, because if I do, I won’t leave,” she said, taking a step toward the door.

Kirk opened an eye, his grin widening. “Aww, come on.”

A twist of hunger started low in her at the sound of his voice, the little growl in it even more tempting than he already was lying naked on the bed like that. It was ridiculous to still want him so much after they'd spent the entire morning catering to their desire. “That would really be pushing it,” Anne said, knowing it was a terrible idea. “Even if I didn’t decide to stay, you might decide to keep me.”

“I promise, I won’t do anything,” he said. “Come on. We can handle it. We’re adults.”

Anne sighed. This was definitely a bad idea. “Fine,” she said, walking the few quick steps over to the bed. She laid a hand on his chest, leaning down to kiss him, and wondered what she was getting into.

Several minutes later she heard a padd chiming, and she tore her lips and hands away from him. It took more effort than it should have. “You liar,” she said, trying to catch her breath, resettling her panties and her dress. “I’m late. Goddamn it.”

“It’s too hard to be an adult on my day off,” Kirk said, flipping the blankets over himself and closing his eyes. “Bring me some coffee when you get back.”

“Ugh. Fine. But I’m adding ‘lazy, entitled piece of shit’ to the list.” Anne turned and strode to the door, grinning.

“Descriptive. I like it. See you later,” he said behind her, not insulted in the least.

When she reached the sensor lab, Mr. Chekov was the only one inside, tapping equations into the computer. His face brightened when he saw her. “Ms. Hardesty, I vas just about to send you a message--”

“I’m so sorry,” Anne said, hoping she didn't sound too breathless. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting--”

“Oh, it’s no trouble, I vas finishing calculations for ze others anyvay. If you vill please sit here,” he gestured to the chair next to him, “I vill implant ze monitor and ve can start calibration.”

Hurrying over to the indicated seat, Anne unobtrusively resettled the wide neckline of her dress, regretting her absent-minded choice of clothing. Jim had left a small mark on her shoulder at some point, and it would have been terribly gauche to show it off. Besides, there had been some definite signs of interest from Mr. Chekov, and it wouldn’t be polite to rub it in. Taking her seat, she crossed her legs, suddenly very aware of how short her skirt was, and how unsettled Jim’s hands had made her.

Mr. Chekov was polite; he glanced, but it was almost inadvertent and his eyes didn’t linger on her legs. When he lifted the hypospray, however, she saw him hesitate for a moment, and then his other hand came up, delicately touching her chin. The air suddenly seemed to congeal, and Anne felt her heart rate jump. “Turn your head like so, please,” Mr. Chekov said, guiding her head to the side and tilting it.

The very, very light touch on her chin reminded her of the night Jim had kissed her-- but the tension now had no outlet, and seemed stronger for it. Anne knew that it would take about a minute and a half of effort to get this adorable young man into bed, if she so chose. Maybe only a minute, if he didn’t care that she was living with his Captain. Anne found herself toying with the idea, watching him from the corner of her eye. She had never been the monogamous type.

Something must have shifted in him as well, because she saw his gaze flick to her lips, her eyes, and then back to the job at hand. “Perheps zis is not the best injection site,” he said, his fingers sliding along her jaw and his thumb rubbing over the spot behind her ear, sensual only because she was aware of the attraction between the two of them. “Zere is a wery small trace of metal in the implant. Detectable, but I had planned to hide it behind your earring so thet it vould not register as odd.” His thumb rubbed over that spot again, and then he let go of her jaw. “I did not realize your ears vere not pierced. Zat is uncommon.”

Anne looked back at him head-on, raising her eyebrows. “I’m not sure what to do if that won’t work. I could pierce my ears, I suppose. I don’t think it would be remarked on.”

“Do you hev any other implants zat could mask ze monitor?” he asked, his serious eyes staying on her face. “A joint, perheps, or a regulator?”

Anne shook her head. “Just the other implant. They haven’t put it back in yet, though.”

He nodded once. “Zat vill do. It only needs to be close enough zat a medical scan vill not see it as a separate item.” He looked her over, attempting to hide his appreciation and succeeding-- almost. “Vhere vas it?”

She had to stop herself from laughing, although she didn’t hide her amusement. Uncrossing her legs, she drew up her skirt, leaving her hand between her legs to hold it in place… although she knew that it wouldn’t look quite that innocent. It didn’t feel innocent either, not with the way Jim had left her. Flicking her eyes downward, she said, “Just there, where the scar is.”

He followed her gaze, and then looked back upward to her face, surprised. There was a moment when Anne could see the flicker of desire burning away his confusion, but his gaze moved back down and he appeared to try to keep his mind on the job. “Hmm.” After a moment, he looked back up at her. “It vill vork, but… do you mind?” he asked, his free hand moving to hover near her thigh. At her murmur of assent, his hand came down, warm and firm, easing her leg to the side. Surprisingly confident for a young man. She suddenly recalled what Jim had said about Mr. Chekov using his innocence.

“Is that all right, Mr. Chekov?” Anne said, spreading her legs. Really, the man had to have some room to work.

A flash of answering humor flitted through his eyes. “Under ze circumstances, Pavel vill do,” he said, his voice ironic.

Oof. A sense of humor, too. She could… “Pavel.” Anne inclined her head, her amusement solidifying further. She could, but… she didn't really want to. Not when she had Jim waiting for her at home. “I should apologize to you, I think. I must have seemed very rude when we spoke in the lounge. That was not my intention.”

The sideways reminder of Kirk did seem to hit the mark, although he didn’t lift his hand. Anne couldn’t disapprove. She liked some nerve. “No offense vas taken. Perheps some other time you vill join me in a game of kadis-kot. You and ze Keptain, of course.”

Anne couldn't help a smile. How sweet-- she could tell his offer was genuine. While she didn’t regret Jim, she did regret, a little, that even a taste would make her feel guilty. That wasn't normal for her, but… Jim was the exception to all her rules, it seemed. “That’s a very kind offer, Pavel. We’ll take you up on that sometime, both of us.”

“It vould be my pleasure,” he said, then looked back down at her thigh, bringing the hypospray to the side of the scar. “For now, ve should finish this. Ze implant vill take more testing, as it vill need to gather information from further avay.”

Just because she was strangely attached to Jim didn't mean she had to be bored. She couldn't see Pavel doing anything beyond flirting back after that reminder, even if she was at her most outrageous. “Don’t be in such a rush,” she said, her voice becoming teasingly suggestive. “I’m just fine where I am.”

Chekov gave her a very speculative look, then triggered the hypospray. It stung her thigh, maybe a little worse than the regular sprays did. She hissed in pain, and he automatically ran his hand over the spot, the pressure soothing it. Or at least it got her mind on things other than the pain. Chekov left his hand on her thigh for a beat longer, and then lifted it, his mouth curving in a little smile. “You are quite velcome to stay as you are for as long as you like,” he said as he turned to the computer, setting the hypo down and starting to tap out commands.  

Chuckling, Anne crossed her legs again, the scarred one on top, and didn’t pull down her skirt. “How hospitable of you,” she teased, resting her elbow on the arm of the chair and her chin in her palm. “Are you a hospitable sort of guy, Pavel? How many of the women here on board would say so?”

He gave her a flirtatious little glance as he picked up a sensor, then turned back to her to run it along the spot where he’d injected the monitor. “A few,” he said, pressing the sensor to the skin.

It was colder than it should have been; Anne gasped softly, noting a brief flicker of desire in his eyes. “I think you’re being modest. You know, I dated a Russian man once. He used to call me something, but he wouldn't tell me what it meant. Mishka. Does that make sense?”

“It means ‘little mouse,’” Pavel said, rolling the sensor over to a different part of her thigh. “It vas probably because you are wery small. You have… fine bones.” He grinned. “Zat is not vhat I vould call you, though. Lisichka, maybe.”

That was one Anne had never heard before. “Oh? And what does that mean?”

“I should let you find out for yourself,” he said, removing the sensor, and then turning back to the computer to tap in some more data, grinning.

“That’s not fair. If you don’t tell me, I’ll just have to guess until I get it right,” Anne said, straightening in her chair. “Hmm. It ends in -ka, so it’s a diminutive.”

“Yes,” he said, tapping in more numbers. “Do you know wery much Russian?”

“No, not very much. A little. Pozhaluysta, spasibo, just the most basic things any traveler will pick up.” Anne smiled at him. “Lisichka, right?” she asked, taking care to pronounce it the way he had.

“Wery good,” he said, sounding impressed with her mimicry.

“It must be some kind of animal,” Anne mused. “Not a cat, I do know that one.”

“Correct, it is an animal but not a cat.” Pavel’s grin widened. “I vill give you a hint: it has pointed ears like a cat.”

“You made it too easy,” Anne laughed. “It’s a fox, isn’t it?”

“Correct. Lisichka means ‘little fox,’” he said, glancing back at her, clearly enjoying her laughter. “Foxes are also fine-boned, and they are wery intelligent and cunning tricksters. Russians hev alvays been fascinated by zem.”

Anne raised her eyebrows again, catching the subtext implied by the name. “Well, how very flattering. Thank you, Pavel.” She grinned at him. “What about you? Are you a nickname kind of guy?”

He picked up the sensor once again, and rested it against her thigh. Despite the fact that she could feel the warmth of his hand on her skin, he was careful not to touch her. “Depending on ze nickname, I might not be opposed to it.”

“Good,” Anne said promptly. “Because kotyonok suits you.”

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows at her. “Vhy is that?” he asked, bemused.

Anne let her eyelids lower just a hint. “You should probably look up the old slang meaning of ‘tomcatting’.”

Curious, he nodded, then typed one-handed into the computer while holding the sensor against her leg. After reading the definition, he started to chuckle. “You may hev a point there.”

“I know I do,” Anne said, still watching from under lowered lashes. “And who doesn’t want to hold a kitten? They just beg to be stroked. I'm quite fond of them myself.”

He had that innocent look again, the one that Anne was starting to realize was him at his most audacious. “In thet case, you may call me kotyonok if I may call you lisichka. It vould only be fair.”

What a terrible flirt he was. How fun. “Sounds good to me.”

Their conversation continued in that vein for some time, the two of them making plays on words and innuendos that were clearly just for fun while he made adjustments to the sensors, making sure they were perfectly keyed in. Eventually, he sighed and blanked the computer screen. “Beautiful lisichka, I no longer hev an excuse to keep you here. You may go back to your day, and perheps next time I see you in the lounge you vill come and hev a drink with me, vith or vithout the Keptain, as he pleases.”

“Of course I will.” Anne stood, then gently laid a hand on his arm, stilling him. Before he could second-guess her, she flashed him a mischievous grin and stood on tiptoe, planting a kiss on his cheek before stepping back. “Enjoy yourself, kotyonok. Do svidaniya.”

As she left the room, she heard him mutter softly, “Bozhe moi,” and couldn’t help a surge of smug satisfaction.

Kirk was not yet out of bed when she returned to their quarters, so Anne dialed up some Turkish style coffee and breezed into the bedroom, balancing the tray on one hand. There was nothing left of their snacks from earlier but crumbs; she stacked the tray on top of the older one and began to kick off her shoes. Kirk’s eyes opened, either the scent of coffee or the small noises she’d made waking him, and he grinned sleepily, reaching out and catching her wrist in a light grip. She’d found it easier and easier to let him do things like that the more used to it she was. “Good morning, cher,” she teased softly. She’d called him that once before, in bed, and told a little white lie about why. Just out of habit. Maybe he’d ask about it again… and if he did, she might tell the truth.

Gently, he tugged on her arm, drawing her onto the bed beside him. “Good morning,” he answered, his fingers skating under the edge of her dress, easing it up. That was fine. That was good too. Who needed food anyway?

Kirk’s intentions were clear, and Anne did nothing to stop him. She helped him get the dress off her, then sank down on the bed beside him as he got rid of the rest of her clothes. “You’re lucky I made it back,” she said. “Pavel is a little charmer when he wants to be.”

Jim’s hands hesitated, then he finished stripping off her brassiere. “I’d gotten that impression, yes.” Pushing himself up to lean on his elbow, he began to take her hair down. “Did you want to let him charm you?” he asked evenly, his eyes just a bit guarded.

There was a momentary temptation to say yes and deal with the fallout, run back to her old normality of strings of lovers, but Anne could recognize that desire as both false and self-destructive. “Not really. It’s flattering, but I like where I am.”

The guarded look went out of his eyes, replaced by affectionate desire. “But a little bit,” he teased, dropping her hairpins on the tray near the coffee.

“A little. He’s adorable. I’m going to call him ridiculous pet names and flirt shamelessly. I hope that doesn’t bother you.” Anne ran her hand down Jim’s chest, tracing where the edge of the blanket met his skin.

“Who doesn’t flirt?” Jim asked, flipping the covers back and gathering her up against him. “I’d like to keep the rest of you for myself, though.” His hand slid down, moving beneath her panties.

Anne arched her back, lifting her hips so that he could help her wriggle her panties off. That bit of possessiveness made her want to shiver. “Sounds good to me,” she murmured, drawing him down into a kiss that quickly turned heated.

A while later, he asked between kisses, “How long before we have to get up?”

“Four hours,” she replied, her hands already wandering lower.

He murmured against her mouth, sounding satisfied. “Let’s get some music on in here.” At his command, the computer began to play something she recognized, something with a good beat and ridiculous lyrics. Anne laughed and bit his lip, urging him over her, at once full of hunger and utterly content.

#James T. Kirk/OC #Jim Kirk/OC #Star Trek Fanfiction #Star Trek #fanfic #dark romance #Star Trek: Walking Wounded #ST:WW

[iwannabeabadrobot]

Ooooooh, Burn

It was so peaceful. There were no hums or beeps or alarms. Nobody was hailing her. All she could hear was the gentle rustling of a breeze through the tall trees she'd made the night before. The only thing missing was birds. That's how it would be on Earth. Melodious chirping. But this wasn't Earth. This place didn't even have a name. It had a classification: M.

Uhura laughed to herself at the thought that when she was done with it they'd have to add a new, 'U' classification, just so they could define what she'd done to it. She stared up through the branches of the tree to the lavender sky. She could decipher the sound of each leaf's brush against the others.

Next to her, Leonard was dead to the world, his heavy arm tucked protectively around her. His thumb pressed between two of her ribs. She leaned over to the crook between his jaw and neck and ran the tip of her nose along it, inhaling his smell. It was sweet and clean. He smelled like a doctor.

They were both wet. Soaked with sweat. It was hot here. Hotter than Earth. She wondered if they were in winter or summer. It didn't matter. She could build a mountain around them if it got too hot.

It was so easy. Everything here was so easy.

Wasn't that what she'd wanted? She thought so- but that was before. Before she had been elevated. Her eyes were open now. She could really see. She could see what was happening, how it was happening, and how it was changing every little moment. Thank goodness she didn't have to deal with cognitive disinhibition, or she'd go insane. Kirk wouldn't have been able to deal with it. He wouldn't be able to shut down all the tiny sounds.

The sounds of cells replicating, of every instance of contact between one organism and another, every shade of color in the spectrum, every frequency on the comms at once, that was all available to her. But thankfully, she could sort out what she needed and ignore the rest.

Apparently Leonard could do the same thing. She sat up, carefully, intertwining her fingers with his and steadily moving his arm to his other side. They were more than wet. They were muddy from the soil. They were naked and dirt-smeared and comfortable and happy and in total control. Uhura could process any cognitive information right now, but the emotion this was creating- she couldn't process that.

She had to get out- get clean.

Uhura looked at the spring and the tiny pond it had formed. She needed more water than that. So she walked, naked, through the brush and down the mountain some ways, until she found a spot that looked good. She closed her eyes.

Putting her new brain to good use, she isolated each molecule, each atom, each element she needed, to put together what she wanted there. She could feel the reactions- tearing apart and bonding. It was a little scary. At any moment she could be interrupted and could destroy everything on the planet- not just the little piece of paradise- that she was constructing on a whim.

When she opened her eyes, she was in turquoise water, submerged entirely. She leapt from the floor of the new lake and rose to the surface. She gasped when she felt the heat of the air above the water, and pushed her hair back, opening her eyes.

A waterfall gushed over the mountain, leading from that tiny spring she'd left at the camp. She passed under it a few times, scrubbing at her skin with her fingernails. It had been so long since she'd swum in real water. She dived, exploring the sights underwater, watching the breath leave her body in cascades of bubbles.

After a while she got out, but didn't bother to put her uniform back on. No reason to. Who'd she have to hide from? She knew this whole planet, and the one man on it knew her.

It was so easy. That was the second time she'd thought that just today. She was bored already.

Her thoughts were drawn again to the Valiant transmitter. Leonard was right. The Enterprise was nothing to what she was capable of creating here. But. The Enterprise could take her wherever she wanted to go. It could give her power over more than one planet.

She could go back to Earth. She could fix Earth. As utopian as many members of the Federation thought it was, Earth still had its problems. She could eliminate them. She could make it perfect. A frightening, exciting thought spread through her, from her stomach to the tips of her fingers: she could make the galaxy perfect…

There next to the lake, gleaming in the sunshine, was the transmitter. It had obeyed her thoughts.

She removed the side of it and a bundle of wires spilled out. She took her time figuring out which wire was responsible for each signal. It was easy already for her, since communications were her forte. She started rewiring. The plan was to create a false signal from Starfleet, telling the Enterprise to come back and pick them up, that they needed immediate medical attention- that their powers had been a short-lived fluke.

As soon as the Enterprise was in close enough range to detect that the signal had actually been sent by the transmitter, she would be able to harness transporters and get back aboard. Once she was aboard, that would be it. She'd let them get her before, but this time they didn't have Leonard and his hyposprays to help them. She had him.

She heard a splash. She looked over the waterfall. Speaking of him. There were no animals on the planet, so it couldn't be anyone else. Leonard surfaced, silver eyes exhilarated. That broad smile. She hardly ever got to see him smile. It was a rare occurrence.

Uhura felt guilty. He could be happy here. He could live a satisfied life with her, with a planet and creation of their own. Abandonment for her was an opportunity for him.

She cared for him. He was what she would have wanted if she'd never been enlightened by that new energy in her brain. He was stable, human, his outlook had been compatible with hers. And they could commiserate like nothing else. The best way to bond was over a mutual enemy… or friend.

She jumped in the water with him. He encircled her with his arms. Their skin was slick. His lips were warm against hers. He laughed. "This is just about the best shore leave I've ever had. I might as well be dreaming."

She smiled at him and pressed her forehead against his. "Then keep dreaming."

He pulled back. "What is it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I feel the same way." She kissed him again but he wasn't with her.

"No you don't-" he said. He was still half-smiling, still running his hands over her body, enjoying, exploring. He was so human. But his eyes were beyond her. They were on the transmitter. Shit.

"What's goin' on there?"

"Just seeing how it works, you know. Being surrounded by nature- it's- abrupt."

Leonard gulped down a mouthful of the fresh water. She could nearly see the gears turning in his head as his brow furrowed at her. He took some more and fountained it back into the lake. He shook his head.

"You know how it works. You made this, just this morning. That transmitter is Lincoln Logs to you right now."

Uhura frowned at him. She should have known that she would have to fight him on this.

"What are you doing with it?"

Uhura tried to swim away from him but he tightened his arms around her. She was flush against him. She ran her hands through his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. But when she leaned in, he leaned back, avoiding her.

"Nooo, no. Nice try, but I'm too smart for that move now."

"Fine. I'm sending an emergency signal to the Enterprise to come pick us up."

Leonard gave her an incredulous look. "And why would they pick us up? They know we're in the throes of energy overload."

"I'm making it look like Starfleet is sending it."

He let her go now. "Ah ha. You push hard enough and you get to the heart of the matter. We can't do that, hon."

"Why do you care? Don't you know what we could do? They don't even know the power that's-"

"Thankfully, I didn't get as much juice in my brain as you do. I'm not feeling peckish for power." He immediately got out of the lake and walked towards the transmitter.

She took half a second to appreciate the view of him walking away from her, but knew that he was going to dismantle the transmitter.

"Don't."

"Don't what? I've got the Enterprise's best interests at heart."

"How do you know I don't?"

"I can only go on my guts, and my guts say not to let you do it."

"Then you don't trust me." That hurt. He'd had her, completely. He wanted her completely. And still he didn't trust that she knew what she was doing. That's because he was stupid. As smart and powerful as he now was, she was still completely alone in the universe.

He didn't answer her claim. He just gave her a look. Don't make it about this. She gave his look right back. She was daring him to touch the transmitter. He did. And as soon as he did, she sent him to his back with a bolt of light from her hands.

Ow. She should get out of the water if she was going to do this. The conduction from the water shocked badly. As she left the lake she could see steam rising from her body. Leonard coughed and looked up at her. He was afraid. Good.

"Uhura."

"You don't think we're on a first name basis, after last night?"

"Nyota, darling, dearest, sweetheart, whatever you want, with a cherry on top, please don't do this. Give it a day or two. Feel it out." He pointed at his head. "It's a trick. This power, these brains, they're an illusion. You think you can do anything but they're playing you."

Uhura laughed. "No. They're playing you. I can do anything. "

He got to his feet and went again for the transmitter. This time the light didn't come from her hands. It came from her eyes. He was on his back again, yelping in pain. He had red marks, burns from her attacks, blossoming across his white skin.

"STOP," she said.

He stared at her eyes. "How'd you do that? Can I do that?"

She blinked a few times. She felt a sharp stab of pain, of exhaustion. She put a hand to her head. "I don't- I-"

And then she felt his power. The lightning from his eyes shot down her spine and made her legs and arms numb. She fell, but wouldn't let herself stay down. She propped herself up on one arm and pushed back up to standing.

"Whew," Leonard said, rolling his eyes around. "That's a weird-"

She attacked again, this time with both hands and eyes. He struggled towards her, eyes closed firmly. He grabbed a hold of her leg. She tried to shake him but she couldn't. Her lightning sputtered out, like she'd run out of ammo.

"It's finite," he said, using Uhura to pull himself up. He faced her, looking her in the eyes. "The energy is finite. I can feel it. Can you? I think it just replaces itself too quickly for us to drain it entirely." He laughed. His white teeth shone in the sunlight. This time, his smile was a threat. He sent his light straight from his eyes into hers.

He leaned forward on her, grabbing her and holding her close. She struggled but his weight was just too much. They both fell back and rolled- down through the brush and into the lake, energy still connecting them in a beam.

Leonard was right. She could feel it. The water was coursing the energy through them, sapping it from them and burning them with it. They both screamed in pain. Uhura blacked out.

She came to. It was dark outside- or as dark as it could be with the light of the moons. She wasn't in the water. There was no water. It was like there had never been water. There was no grass. No trees. No lake. She could see nothing but dust and scrub in all directions. Her brain felt the same way. There were no growing, shifting thoughts like there had been before. She felt- cloudy.

Leonard was next to her. She checked his pulse. He was alive. They were both still naked. Leonard was badly burned. His skin shined, raw, bruised, and with dark, scary circles around his eyes. Uhura looked down at herself to discover the same.

They needed help.

She tried to create some more water. Her brain struggled. It didn't want to shift the atoms around for her. She opened one of Leonard's eyes with her thumb and index finger. The silver was gone and his eyes were green again. She saw the transmitter and ran to it. In the reflection of the metal she saw her eyes had gone brown again too… mostly. She focused, using all her energy. The transmitter lifted off the ground and moved over a few inches before dropping.

She sat down to catch her breath. Just that tiny movement had been exhausting. He had done it. He'd gotten rid of their power. She grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it at him. She hoped it hurt. He came around at that.

He inspected himself and then looked over at her. She felt ashamed. She was naked, and now crying, and she couldn't do anything anymore. All she was- was stuck here. With him.

Leonard sat up, with difficulty, and came over to her. He sat next to her and let his shoulder brush hers. She moved away.

"You've killed us."

"I couldn't let you kill them."

"Fuck you. You said you cared about me."

"Why can't I care about all of us?"

Uhura didn't have an answer. All she could do was cry. She rolled herself into a ball, hiding her exposure. It hurt her burns to do it, but at the moment, she was embracing the misery. Leonard approached again and enveloped her. He didn't say anything. That kind of helped.

Kirk tapped his foot impatiently, sitting in his chair on the bridge.

They were travelling Warp 2. They should have been travelling at Warp 5, but hell no, Kirk wasn't going to do that. He was- against his will- moving away from Bones and Uhura, but he was going to do it as slowly as he could.

It had been two days since he'd come to and they were gone. The further they got, the worse Kirk's mood became. He hadn't been eating or sleeping. He'd let the Alpha crew get their rest the past two nights but he stayed in the chair. He'd been waiting for word from Starfleet, but nothing had come. Still. It was completely unacceptable. Unprofessional. This was clearly a top priority problem. Both Uhura and Bones were heroes. Starfleet, hell, the Federation as a whole was underestimating the gravity of this.

As Kirk inwardly boiled, the rest of the crew was completely zoned out. Only Spock seemed unfazed by the lack of activity. He continued to type out his reports and scan the space around them as if their mission had been unchanged. The only indicator that he felt anything about it was that he hadn't left Kirk's side since he had woke up after the fight.

Uhura's chair had been taken by some other Ensign who knew a bunch of esoteric, whatever languages. Kirk knew he was supposed to respect and treat the new guy the same way he treated Uhura, but it was just not the same. He liked his crew. His friends. Not some random officers.

And then the Ensign spoke. "Incoming call from Starfl-"

"Put them on," Kirk interrupted. Finally.

Some Admiral he didn't know was on his screen. "Captain Kirk. In response to your first officer's reports, we are saddened by this unfortunate turn of events in your mission-"

"Saddened? I'd say it's something to be more panicked about, wouldn't you, Spock?"

He looked over his shoulder. Spock raised an eyebrow and shifted his focus to the Admiral. She cleared her throat.

"Captain, I understand your feelings of friendship towards Lieutenant Uhura and Chief Medical Officer McCoy. However, your current mission is of greater importance-"

"Of greater importance than what? Their lives? Their jobs as part of this mission?"

"If you continue to interrupt my message I will be forced to discipline you and your crew and to make a mark on your record. May I proceed, Captain Kirk?"

Kirk crossed his arms and got up. He couldn't look at her in the face. He looked across the bridge instead, pretending to listen instead of what he was really doing- fantasizing about killing her with his own hands. He felt Khan bristle inside and tried to control himself.

"You may proceed, Admiral."

"Thank you. Captain, you are to put this event behind you entirely, and to continue with 100% devotion to your current mission. Starfleet will assign a science team to research the effects of this energy field. If a solution is reached within an adequate timeframe, we will send a team to retrieve the Doctor and the Lieutenant. If not, we must accept that they be considered casualties. You knew the possibilities when you accepted this mission, Captain Kirk. Now you must continue to do your job. If you don't, we will find someone else aboard who can- and you will be put in the brig and tried for mutiny."

"How can I be tried for mutiny?! I'M THE CAPTAIN!"

But she'd already disconnected. The rest of the bridge crew stared at him, half terrified, half pissed off.

"SULU."

"Go. I've got it. I'll put us back on warp 5."

"FINE. SPOCK."

Spock followed him into the turbolift.

Spock followed Jim into his quarters. Jim closed and locked the door behind them. He punched the wall. Spock surmised this action was, like his raised voice, a reaction to the Admiral's orders.

"Jim, I apologize on behalf of the Admiral. However, the orders are-"

"If you say logical I'm going to break your nose again."

"As stimulating as I find our spars, I do not think that would be the most productive solution."

"Yeah? What would be? Going on our merry way and leaving them to die? Our friends? My best friend? Your girlfriend?"

"I am monogamous, Jim."

"They're going to die. No one's going to 'retrieve' them. They got their data. They'll spend millions on research and leave Bones and Uhura to rot. They can't find a fucking beagle, how are they going to figure out how to get those two back? Fucking Federation bureaucracy. They're idiots. Fools."

Jim smashed his hand into the wall again. He tried to repeat his action but Spock put his hand in the path of Jim's and caught it, holding it back.

"To what end does this declaration bring us?"

"You mean what good does it do to fight it? Do I have any better ideas?" He pulled his fist out of Spock's hand.

"Affirmative."

"I do. I say fuck this Admiral. Let's go back, send a landing team down, sedate them, and bring them back. Then we can keep them under until we find a solution to the problem. "

Spock could think of many issues with this line of reasoning. He hoped that Jim would offer an illogical and inspired idea as he often did; one that Spock had not entertained with his deductive reasoning. This time it was simply an emotional and weak idea. It stemmed more from Jim's desperation than from the excitement and sense of adventure that often fueled his flawless (and reckless) plans.

Deep inside, Spock felt a twinge of emotion. It was simultaneously sad and affectionate. He attempted to, as the Doctor would say, 'sugarcoat' his refutation of Jim's idea.

"When we left the planet, Doctor McCoy was capable of controlling the bridge and the people on it from his position on the planet. If that is still the case- and there is no reason to believe that it has changed- then there is no possibility of arriving within their space without their knowledge and control over us."

"There's gotta be some way we can cloak ourselves from them."

"Even if there were- suppose it takes years to find a solution to the effects of the energy. What life would they experience if they were to spend that time unconscious in the medical bay. Right now they are conscious and alive, by my estimation of their survival probabilities. Their quality of life would be higher staying on the planet. Additionally, with their heightened intelligence, they may find a solution before we would."

"That doesn't mean they'd want to use it." Jim went to the other side of the room and stood, resting his forehead against the wall. He looked- resigned. "I get what you mean though. That would be cruel. I'd rather have superpowers and be stuck in one place than- asleep somewhere, being prodded, I guess."

Jim turned around to face Spock. He made a noise, somewhere between a sigh and a growl. He did not move from that spot. He looked indecisive and helpless. Spock crossed to him and decided to attempt a human gesture of encouragement and support. He wrapped his arms around Jim's torso and set his cheek against Jim's cheek.

This was a hug. Jim reciprocated the action, applying a great amount of pressure. Spock had not realized that this gesture could be not only a friendly one but also an arousing one. He returned an added pressure to the embrace. Green blood pumped through him at his hips and into his cheeks. He had a strange desire to remain in this state for the forseeable future- his Jim protected and in contact with him.

But Jim extracted his arms and face from Spock. He looked into Spock's eyes. His irises were a shallow blue. Spock couldn't see into them. He wanted to crack through the frozen layer on top to get to the emotion that remained so close to the rest of his skin. Jim placed one hand on each of Spock's cheeks. His thumbs brushed across the areas where Spock's blood had rushed.

Jim's eyes looked down from Spock's eyes- to his lips. If Spock was correct, Jim was considering sharing another human gesture with him. Spock looked at Jim's lips. He considered the way Jim often pouted, or the way he breathed, or the way he often moistened his lips with his tongue. Spock found himself open to trying this with his Captain. He had found kisses with Nyota to be pleasant as well, but he anticipated that this would be different.

Jim moved closer to him. His lips parted. Spock could feel the heat of his breath against his own mouth.

There was a hail. Their mouths remained 1.71 inches apart.

"Captain-" It was Lieutenant Sulu. "You'll never guess what we ran into."

Kirk bit his lip and stepped back, out of Spock's physical proximity. "Sorry. That was- sorry. I just wanted to say thank you."

"You are welcome Captain." Spock answered, following Jim back to the bridge, yet again.

#kirk #spock #uhura #Nyota Uhura #bones #leonard mccoy #star trek #SPACE HUSBANDS #shipping

[youre-on-a-starship]

Part 1

Summary:  Two weeks after waking up with no recollection of the people and ship around you, you take your future in your hands and try to piece together your past and the events that lead up to you losing your memory of the last five years. This means finally meeting Scotty, the man you just learned is your husband.

Word Count:  1,138

Author’s Note:  This is my first series that I’m posting on here! Please let me know what you think, I really love getting feedback.

Table of Contents Here

Scotty looked up at exactly the wrong moment. Jim made a joke and the whole table burst into laughter, including you. Your beautiful eyes crinkled up and your unapologetic smile bared your gleaming teeth. You simply shone.

Scotty couldn’t even bring himself to laugh when you laid your hand on Jim’s arm, steadying yourself as you calmed. Scotty’s heart clenched painfully.

And then there was Jim, that bastard, not that it was his fault, leaning in and laughing with you, tickled to make you smile so beautifully.

Scotty mumbled an excuse and stood, dropping his napkin on his tray and leaving the table at a steady stumble, trying to navigate through the pounding of blood in his ears.

The hallway rang with silence as the mess hall doors closed behind him.  Scotty looked up and down the hall, completely lost. He's walked every single hall of this wonderful ship with you on his arm and now… what's a man to do without you? How could he possibly move on and find some semblance of peace when you were in there laughing like that with Kirk of all people? Captain Fucking Perfect Hair with all his goodman charm and warmth…

“Scotty?”

He turned around to find that Uhura had followed him out.

“I’m sorry,” he started, wiping at his face, just now realizing that he was crying.

“Don't be,” Uhura reached out and touched his elbow. “Come on.”

She gently pulled Scotty down the hall away from the mess.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked.

“No,” Scotty’s voice cracked and he raised a hand to his face to hide the tears that overflowed. ‘“‘S jus’... she used tae look a’ me li’ tha’.”

“I know,” Uhura said, wrapping an arm around Scotty’s shoulder and rubbing his arm.

“I though’ I was ready to see her again, but she's… she's moving righ’ on…”

“Have you talked to her yet?” Uhura urged.

“Wha’ am I supposed ta say? I dinna want her to feel obligated to come back to me -”

“No, but Scotty, if you don't even put your hat in the ring she’ll never know,” Uhura said. “You have to talk to her. Especially before Kirk does something.”

“I really didn’t think he would…” Scotty sniffed. “I mean, he knows, of course…”

“He doesn't want to do anything about it,” Uhura said. “He told me. He's just trying to make her feel at ease. But she's starting to flirt and I'm afraid that if you don't do something you’re going to lose your second shot.”

Scotty slowed to a stop for a moment, burying the heels of his hands into his eye sockets.

“I don’ know wha’ I'm more upset about,” he mumbled. “Her going after Kirk now or… or the fact that I didn’ get a chance to say goodbye.”

“Do you want her back?” Uhura asked.

“I go’ her a’ a good time,” Scotty said, dropping his hands. “I was still young enough to put on a good show of it. But I'm not wha’ I was when we met… she wouldn’t want me now, no’ when she's no reason to look past me anymore.”

“Come on,” Uhura punched his arm lightly. “You've been doing that ‘old man’ song and dance too much lately. Give yourself some credit. Y/N fell in love with you for who you are, all of you, not just how you look. Not because of how old or young you were or are. If you love her, fight for her.”

“Aye,” Scotty sniffed, reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously. “I do love her still, I jus’ don’ wanna scare her away.”

As Uhura opened her mouth to respond, you stepped into view at the end of the hall. You stopped in your tracks when you saw Scotty’s red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face.

“Sorry -” you started, taking a step back.

“Shit,” Scotty hissed, taking off in the other direction.

You looked at Uhura and bit your lip as the engineer disappeared around the corner. When Uhura met your eyes, you knew it wasn’t the two of them that had a problem. Everyone was looking at you like this, with pity and unease on their faces.

“Have I done something?” you asked quietly. It wouldn’t be the first time this week you’d upset someone. Wouldn’t be first time today.

“No,” Uhura said, reaching for your hand.

“It’s something I forgot, isn’t it?” you winced, letting her lead you back the way you came.

“Do you like Jim?” Uhura asked.

“Am I not supposed to?”

“What ever happened or didn’t happen before now shouldn’t matter,” Uhura reassured you. “You have the right to do what makes you feel happy and safe right now.”

“What’s this about? And why is Scotty upset? It is Scotty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” Nyota nodded, biting her lips.

“Were he and I…?” you trailed off.

Uhura looked at the floor.

“He seems a little old for me…” you mused, a wave of panic running through you at the pained look on Uhura’s face. “But age isn’t everything, right?”

“Have you talked to him since you woke up?”

“Scotty? No,” you admitted, furrowing your brow. “I sort of thought he was avoiding me.”

“Ugh, I promised I wouldn’t do this,” Uhura grumbled, pinching her nose before stopping you in the middle of the hallway. “If you can try to… listen, a lot changed for all of us when this happened.”

“I know,” you nodded, feeling that sinking guilt in your gut come crawling back.

“It’s not your fault, and we’re all here for you right now,” Uhura reassured you, taking your arms in her hands. “But… if you can be patient with him - he’s not the best at opening up when he’s got his mind set - you need to try talking to him.”

You licked your lips.

“How involved were we, Nyota?”

Uhura groaned as if this knowledge was physically hurting her.

“And what’s he got his mind set on? I need something to go on if I’m going to just start talking to this guy…”

“He…” Uhura sighed. “He doesn’t want to make you feel obligated to do anything. You’re getting a fresh start right now, and he doesn’t want to push you anywhere you don’t want to go.”

“So we were together, then?” you asked.

“Y/N… it’s… you were married. Are married, technically.”

Your arms went numb and your jaw clenched. Married.

“You need to go talk to him,” Nyota urged.

“I need to go…” you mumbled. “Meet him, I suppose…” You fisted a hand in your hair. “What’s he even like? I need something to go on…”

“Right now?” Nyota asked with a sad look in her eye. “Pretty broken.”

“Because I was talking with Kirk?”

Nyota nodded.

“Where’s his room?”

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think. As this is a series, I am open to starting a tag list as well, so please let me know you’d like to be tagged in future chapters.

#Scotty x reader #montgomery scott #The Part That Counts

[winterverses]

Chapter Thirty

Warning: non-graphic discussion of torture, suicide.

This time when the door chime rang, Anne and Kirk were not in a compromising position. Being warned ahead of time had been a big help with that, and while their shower after the gym had been a little playful, they both knew they had to keep things relatively under control.

It was increasingly hard to keep her hands off him. Even in the gym, when she’d been trying to concentrate on learning how to brawl-- at least a little-- she found herself wanting to touch him, and not wanting to examine whether that was because she was more comfortable with him or because it was comforting. As for the fighting, he hadn’t taught her anything fancy, just a little more aggressive self-defense than she already knew, which was mostly how to run. He’d insisted that they spend at least an hour a day working on the punches and dirty fighting he taught her, drilling her so that she would remember to use it if needed. Most of the lesson had kept her attention, but by the end, when they were starting to get out of breath and sweaty, Anne felt her mind wandering more often, drawn to the way the gym outfit clung to his body. She didn’t even have the excuse of the drug to rely on; Dr. Hayes had given her the counteractive before she’d left, and by the time she’d even made it to the gym it had worn off.

Now, when the chime rang, Anne was sitting on the couch, towelling off her hair, wearing a white dress that was decidedly not Starfleet issue. The scooped neckline was low enough to reveal some cleavage, as well as the scar that curled up over her heart. There was no reason to wear high-necked clothes, at least not here in Kirk’s quarters. Uhura and Mr. Scott would probably be seeing pieces of her scars soon anyway. Kirk was at his desk, going over the reports and the results of their search for Loche’s base. “Come in,” Kirk said, looking up to the door.

Lieutenant Uhura stepped in, suppressing a smile when she saw the towel in Anne’s hands, the smile fading when she noted Anne’s scar. “Captain. Ms. Hardesty.”

“Come sit down, Lieutenant. Do you want anything to drink? Tea, maybe?” Anne stood, draping the towel over her arm, the short, loose dress flaring out around her thighs.

“I’d like that, thank you.” Uhura walked over to the couch, elegant as a leopard, and seated herself.

“I’ll be back in a moment.” Anne spoke as she walked over to the bedroom. She slipped through the door, hanging the towel in the washroom, and walked back out to the food synthesizer. Punching in the codes for tea, cream, sugar, and an assortment of biscuits, she waited for the food to materialize. “I’m sorry I had to change the time on such short notice. The Captain decided that some self-defense training was in order.”

“It wasn’t any trouble.” Uhura glanced over her shoulder at Kirk, but said nothing about his presence. “I appreciate that you’re doing this at all. I don’t like the idea of going in blind.”

Anne took the tray from the synthesizer and brought it over, setting it on the low table. Pouring for them both, she asked, “Cream and sugar?”

Uhura looked mildly surprised. The etiquette Anne was using was more than a bit old-fashioned. “Both, please, but only a touch of each.”

After adding a little cream and sugar to Uhura’s cup, she passed it off and added some cream to her own teacup. After sipping it, she said, “I don’t want to talk about it, but if you go in blind, you’re going to be in trouble very quickly. You’re the one who needs the most protection.”

Before Uhura could reply, Kirk spoke up from his desk. “Are you sure you don’t mind if I’m here?” he asked. “I can leave if you’d rather have privacy.”

Lips twitching with amusement, Anne said, “I’m not going to kick you out of your own room. You rate a little higher than that.” She took another sip of her tea. “But only a little.”

Uhura smothered a grin, and Kirk scoffed. “I rate a lot higher than that and you know it,” he said. Turning serious, he added, “But I do mean it. I can go check on progress on the bridge.”

“Only if you would rather not hear this,” Anne said. “I won’t be insulted if that’s the case.”

“I think I can stand it,” he said, giving her a wry half-smile. “I’ll just be over here if you need me.”

“Thank you,” Anne said, and she didn’t hide the warmth in her voice. Turning her attention to Uhura, she said, “You’re about to find out some very personal things about me, and about what I remember of being in captivity. Many of them are things I’m not proud of; I hope you won’t hold that against me.”

Uhura nodded, selecting one of the biscuits and dunking it in her tea. “You valued survival. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Anne watched her closely, for long enough that Uhura noticed and sat back, returning her gaze evenly. “I survived, yes,” Anne eventually said. “And luckily I was able to get away, or I might have found out even worse things about myself.” She sipped her tea again, gathering her composure. “Loche does not like women who think for themselves. What he likes is a woman whose only thoughts are the ones he gives her. I think that may be hard for you.”

Frowning, Uhura said, “If my life is at stake, I can fake it.”

“It will be,” Anne said. “Although I do have a suggestion for a small modification to the plan. If Mr. Scott is willing, it would be best to pretend that you belong to him. Loche will keep his hands off you then, and you’ll be able to pass messages if we need you to. It’s better cover for all of us.”

Kirk spoke up from his desk. “And why couldn’t he keep you?” he asked without looking up from his viewscreen.

Anne took a moment to respond. “Because there’s a good chance that if Mr. Scott doesn’t sell me to Loche, he might end up dead and I’d be with Loche anyway.”

“Fair enough,” Kirk answered and subsided.

“If I stay with Scotty, why do I still have to worry about what Loche thinks?” Uhura asked.

Looking thoughtfully at Uhura, Anne said, “He’s the reason they’re all there. Every single person who is willingly on that base is there because of promises he made, and one of those promises was that they were… superior. He proves that to them by commodifying everyone who doesn’t match what he thinks of as useful. Part of that is a split along gender lines.” She felt herself smile humorlessly. “You’re a woman. Your biology determines your usefulness. You can’t help that. And you don’t just worry about him. You worry about all of them. He's the brain, but the body enforces his decisions.”

Uhura squared her shoulders and took a bite of her biscuit, mulling this over. “What is the best way to be unobtrusive to him?”

“With your looks? There isn’t one.” Anne sighed. “The best way to be just entertaining enough that he mostly leaves you alone is capitulation. Do what he says, when he says it. Don’t talk if you can help it. Absolutely do not glare at him, or show any disapproval, ever, because he takes that as a personal insult.”

Slowly, Uhura asked, “What kinds of things will he ask me to do?”

“If you’re not his, he won’t force you into anything sexual, if that’s what you mean. He has very definite ideas about ownership, and he has his own captives for that. But he may tell you to fetch things, to arrange things, how to sit, where to stand, where to walk…” Anne fidgeted with her teacup. “Anything, really. Typically he wants women to be decorative, silent, and obedient.”

“I can manage that, for a while,” Uhura said.

Anne set down her tea and picked up one of the biscuits, a lemon drop, and broke it, then began to break the pieces of it, letting them fall onto the tray. “I learned most of this the hard way. If I tell you he only likes to hear you parrot his ideas back to him, it means I tried every other goddamn thing under the sun and got hit for it most of the time. He’s very free with his fists. If he tells you to do something, do it immediately, no questions asked.” Looking away, Anne added, “Don’t be friendly to anyone, even me. I mean, don’t be unfriendly either, but if you seem to enjoy someone’s company, he’ll find a way to hurt you with it.”

“I see,” Uhura said, a hint of sympathy in her eyes. The implication was clear; she thought Anne had been in that position.

Shaking her head, Anne said, “Oh, it didn’t happen to me. I remember being told to threaten a pair of girls, younger ones, who were becoming close. That was after I killed Brynna, so the other captives were afraid of me. Brynna’s death was… brutal. As for the girls who were getting friendly, I didn’t want to break it up, but I did, and one of the girls killed herself shortly afterward.” Anne smiled, but it was a hard, bleak smile. “He comforted the other girl. When it was something like that, something that wasn’t his doing, he could be very warm, very sympathetic. Every one of them eventually believed it, except me. I don’t really know why I never did.” She licked a smear of lemon filling off her finger. “It would have been easier.”

Uhura looked down, as if thinking hard about something, then met Anne’s gaze again. “It sounds like you were kept apart.”

“I was. I couldn’t tell you for certain what caused it, but I didn’t get along with them anyway.” Anne swallowed hard. “I was just a novelty at first. Then I killed Brynna. He took a liking to me. He moved me closer to him and away from them.” She paused, then added, “I’m counting on the fact that he really didn’t want to lose me to keep his attention on me.”

“Does he have a gambling problem?” Uhura asked. “Why would he bet you if he didn’t want to lose you?”

“It was complicated,” Anne said, then had to make a split second decision as to what more to say. This wasn’t something Kirk would like hearing… so best not to tell him. She would have to warn someone, though. “Technically I was part of a bet on the outcome of a dom-jot game, but… Tarenn was a fool and no one expected him to win, let alone walk out of there alive afterward.” Anne shook her head. “He just wasn’t as much of a fool as Loche thought. Loche overestimated himself.” She cut her eyes over toward Kirk without turning her head. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

Uhura’s eyes widened as she caught on. “I see. Well, what kind of specifics can you tell me about how to act? Be quiet, obedient, don’t contradict him-- all that is fine enough, but I could have figured that out on my own.”

Anne gave her the ghost of a smile in gratitude for getting the message so quickly. This wouldn’t change anything anyway. “The thing you’re going to have trouble with is that you’ll need to give up. Cringe. Be frightened of him. Be frightened of Mr. Scott, if you can manage it, and wary of him if you can’t. If one of them makes a sudden move towards you, your first instinct should be to flinch and not to move from that spot. If you try to get away from him, he’ll hit you twice as hard. If you try to fight back, he will likely kill you. I’ve…” Anne trailed off, and then slammed the blossoming memory out of her mind, her breathing quickening. “I’ve seen it happen, I’m guessing. Forgive me if I don’t want to examine that any further. But no, don’t move. Don’t even breathe in the wrong direction, if you can help it. If you see a fist coming your way, you need to cringe and you need to let that punch land, no matter what.”

Uhura considered the magnitude of this task with dawning apprehension. “That’s… a lot harder than it seems. We’re taught to fight back, or at least to try to retreat.”

“And you’re good at it. I could tell just by watching you. You carry yourself very lightly, like a dancer.” Anne brought a piece of biscuit up to her mouth as if to eat it, then flicked it at Uhura. As she expected, Uhura’s hand rose immediately, catching it, and she paled a little when she realized what she had done. Anne gave her a crooked smile. “I know. That’s the reflex that’ll get you killed if I’m not around. It won’t be your obedience, or how well you grovel, or even whether he wants to fuck you and can’t. At some point, you’ll react on instinct, and your instincts are all wrong for survival there. You'll make the tiniest move to defend yourself, and he’ll see it, and then there’s no telling what he’ll do to you.”

“We’ve been steadily narrowing down the amount of options we know of for Loche’s hiding place. A week, at most. I can’t train myself out of that in a week.” Uhura eyed Anne with a strange kind of grateful suspicion. “So that’s why you were so insistent on coming. I was wondering, you know. Risking my neck for a good cause is just part of being in Starfleet.” Her expression slowly faded into something more like sympathy. “So you learned the hard way to let it happen, huh?”

Awkwardly, Anne tried to explain without acknowledging that sympathy. “It helped that I was never much of a fighter to begin with. I prefer to run. The only reason I even learned to shoot was because I wrote about guns so often. Then when I was there, Loche made me use the knives. I got good at that.” Anne nibbled on a bit of the biscuit she’d crumbled and changed the subject slightly. “You can’t protect me, and you shouldn’t try. I do have some limited control over what happens to me. Not much, but a little. Enough, I think.” She picked up her teacup, meaning to take a sip.

A hand suddenly landed on her shoulder. Talking about all of this had brought it up near the surface; she thought her eyes may have widened a touch, but that was it. The tea didn’t jostle; she even finished sipping it without a pause. Kirk looked down at her, his eyebrows raised. “Huh. And you were so jumpy when you first came on board. Work best under pressure, do you?”

“How did you guess?” Anne asked dryly, waiting for her heart rate to slow. She wondered if she could even begin to explain how it felt to be suddenly disoriented and told that you were safe, to realize that you finally had the option of self-defense and not to need it, and to have every self-preservation instinct you’d struggled to silence come roaring awake all at once. She decided if she ever did explain it, it would have to be in writing. If she could write.

“Well, I hate to break things up, ladies, but there’s only about two minutes left until we have to brief Mr. Scott.” Kirk sighed and circled around the end of the couch, grabbing a biscuit from the plate. “He’s not going to be happy,” he said as he flopped down beside Anne and propped his feet up on the table.

“Maybe you should make it a formal briefing,” Uhura said.

“He’d still tell me to take a hike, he’d just be more formal about it.” Kirk shook his head. “No point. I’m hoping that with you two looking all defenseless at him he caves quickly.” Snagging Anne’s teacup from her hand, he dunked his biscuit in it and took a bite.

A look of fond exasperation flitted through Uhura’s eyes and disappeared. “Did you just miss that entire talk because the whole problem is that I’m not defenseless and I know it,” she said, sounding irritated. Anne knew better. There was a wealth of affection there, and trust, and shared history. She felt mildly envious, not of Uhura, but of that history.

“Nah, I heard more than I wanted to. You can try pretending for him, though. It’ll be good practice.” As if on cue, the door chime rang. “C’mon in,” Kirk said.

Mr. Scott stepped through the door. “Ye wanted tae see me, Capt-- Oh, hello Lieutenant.” He paused. “Hello, lass.” He seemed a bit perplexed by the situation, glancing from Uhura’s uniform to Kirk and Anne’s casual clothes.

“Please do sit down, Mr. Scott. Would you like some tea?” Anne offered, standing up to get another teacup.

“Er, don’t mind if I do.” Scotty glanced around, then gingerly settled himself on the unoccupied end of the curved couch they were all on, across from Kirk. Anne had seen his eyes catch on the scar showing above the neckline of her dress, and then again on the fresh scar peeking beneath the hem of her skirt before sliding self-consciously away.

Without waiting for Kirk to move his legs, Anne pressed her shin against them and shoved, knocking them off the table; he merely held her teacup up so that it wouldn’t slosh and moved his legs back once she had passed. “We have a plan, Scotty, and you’re not going to like it,” Kirk said.

A few moments later, Anne was pouring tea and listening to Mr. Scott sputter protestations while Kirk made noncommittal noises. “...can ye expect tae send them in defenseless and wi’ the ship who knows where? Especially intae the den o’that, that animal?” He looked to Uhura. “What does Spock say about this? He canna be fond of it, not wi’ ye involved. He may be a Vulcan bastard, but he’s no’ a heartless bastard.”

“Spock understands. The base is well-defended, and if we were to take it in a frontal assault, there would be casualties. He suggested infiltration in the first place.” Uhura lifted her chin. “We’re going, Scotty. With or without you. If it can’t be you, then it’ll be him.”

“And who’d believe him?” Scotty demanded, then quickly backpedaled. “This is a terrible business, Captain.”

Kirk’s voice was suddenly hard. Anne had to stop herself from flinching away from him, so unaccustomed was she to hearing him sound that cold. “No. That it happened at all is a terrible business. That it’s gone this long without being stopped is a terrible business. I know this isn’t the way we normally do things, but if the way we normally do things is going to end in preventable losses, it needs to change, because this has to end.”

Anne took that opportunity to hand Mr. Scott his teacup. He didn’t grab it at first, still watching Kirk, but then his hands closed around the saucer and he looked at Anne. “Ye’ve been awful quiet, lassie.” He very obviously seemed to think that Anne would be more on his side of the deal.

“Don’t look at me,” she said mildly. “I’m going along to protect you two. I’ve been through it before and come out alive. I can heal, given enough time.” She glanced back over her shoulder at Kirk, whose lips thinned, but he nodded to her anyway. He would come for her. She didn’t need him to say it, but it was still good to have the reassurance.

Scotty watched the exchange wordlessly, then remembered to drink his tea. “It seems wrong to let a wee slip of a thing like ye take point for a grown man like meself.” He looked over at Uhura. “And it seems wrong to put a friend in a position where she canna defend herself from these animals.”

“There is no good solution, Scotty,” Kirk said, sounding tired. “I’ve been doing my share of going over it too, looking for ways around it. But with what we know, and what we are finding out every day, a frontal assault will end up either in avoidable deaths, or a siege situation that helps no one, or both. If we get there and find out that’s not the case, I’ll be overjoyed. But if not, better to get it done quietly, quickly, and with a minimum of fuss. You’re the best chance we have of disabling their systems within a couple of days, Uhura’s the best cover for you, and Anne’s the best distraction.”

Snagging her teacup back from Kirk, Anne poured herself some more tea while Scotty spoke. “Then ye’ll have to excuse myself and my colleagues from normal duty so they can familiarize themselves with the Orion runabout controls. Uhura, ye’ll be fine with a few days. Hardesty, ye’ll be wi’ me until I know ye can fly the thing if something goes sideways.” She nodded, and Scotty continued. “I’ve a fair idea what we can bring in and what will look suspicious. I’ll get Keenser disguising some o’ the more questionable items. Have ye given any thought to magnetic suppression flooding, Captain? That magnetic field will play havoc wi’ the transporters unless we clear spots for them to work.”

“I was waiting for your input, Scotty. Tell me what you’ve got.”

There was some technical discussion then that Anne could only barely follow once it got past the broad strokes, but she understood those well enough. Scotty could set up interference to damp down and compensate for the magnetic field in order to beam squads in to the different Sections. Anne put in what information she could remember, using the holo to sketch what she had seen of floors and layouts. It was getting easier to selectively access memories, pushing traumatic parts of recollections to the side while she had a function to perform. She had the feeling, however, that she would pay for it later on.

In the meantime, Uhura and Scotty worked out a transmission scheme that would give Kirk updates on their status with a minimal chance of Uhura getting caught in the act of actually sending the signal. Kirk discussed contacting the Farragut-A, and precautions to make sure the message, if it was intercepted, could not be easily decrypted. The strategy session was winding down when Anne raised the possibility of what would happen if one of them was subjected to torture.

Discussion ground to a halt. Everyone else had seemed to assume that whatever happened, they would be able to rescue each other in time.

“We get you out of there before that happens. This is a gamble, but I’m not about to send you in there without some kind of assurance that you’ll be able to protect each other,” Kirk said. “Just stay close to Uhura. She’ll--”

“And if it happens right away, immediately, before we have any of the fields set up or any way to get us out of there?” It seemed… odd, to her, that he could completely overlook something this severe. That all three of them could just carry on as if there was no question, as if there was no chance they could be stuck there alone, with no way out. “They can cut us off. Uhura’s the only one who can send you messages. It’s not an unreasonable question.”

“No. It’s not.” Uhura looked grim.

“All right. What kind of assurance do you need? We can plan for it. We’ll build it right in,” Kirk said, leaning back, looking at her.

The sick, sinking feeling in her stomach told her what she needed to know already, and as Anne tried to find a way around the problem that didn’t end up in loss of life, she felt the blood drain from her face. She couldn’t back out, not if it meant Uhura and Scotty might come under the full focus of Loche’s… curiosity. Any wasted time at all could result in one little leak that would sink the whole plan… and if someone had already infiltrated the base, they would end up dead just for security’s sake. And if Loche decided he didn’t trust her and wanted some fun with her, could she trust herself not to give it all up?

What would be worse, letting the crew walk into danger by telling Loche, or…?

“A final friend would be best,” Anne said, trying to calm herself, watching her hands smooth her skirt of wrinkles. The whole idea frightened her… but the thought of giving Jim and the entire ship up to save her own skin made her feel sick in a way that felt entirely too familiar, and that she didn't want to remember. Besides, she could probably just endure, as long as she knew she had that final way out.

“That’s not something regular shipboard crew, even officers, generally get,” Uhura said gently, once it became clear that Kirk wasn’t going to speak.

Mr. Scott remained silent.

Anne leaned forward and poured herself some more tea. The spout of the teapot chattered against the rim of her cup.

Even so, it took a long time for Kirk to answer. “Starfleet’s position has always been that those are too easily triggered when unnecessary.”

Anne looked back at him, trying to mask her nausea behind determination. Her skin felt like it was about to crawl off her body and she could feel her memories burning beneath the surface of her mind. “I understand, but that doesn’t make it unreasonable.” Very carefully, she sipped her tea.

Kirk’s eyes were guarded, probably the most closed-off she’d ever seen him. “Is this a question of trust?”

“Yes,” Anne said. “Your trust in me.” Kirk remained silent, watching her-- very obviously, to her eyes, upset by even the question. His father, of course. Pushing aside the sickness only resulted in a kind of heartsickness that she knew was her own fault, for what she was about to say. The one thing he couldn’t gamble with. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to me to have some way of protecting your ship from me, in case I break.” She forced a smile, remembering one of the classics. “‘All flesh is weak,’ but if I know that I can escape, then even if things do go wrong, I may not have to.”

She could see the schism in his eyes, the part of him that wanted desperately to believe that what she had said was not a possibility fighting against the more practical part of him that knew that with the right drugs or enough pain anyone could crack, and that his ship and crew would be the ones to suffer if she did. “I… I’ll consider my options.”

Uhura set her teacup down on the table. “I think we’ve covered everything we can tonight.”

“Right,” Scotty said, obviously eager to be out of the room and away from the tension. “I’ve got to get to work on those suppression fields. We’ll see ye at 0700, Uhura, Hardesty. G’devening, Captain.” He too set down his teacup, standing up and making for the door at Kirk’s dismissing wave.

After the door slid shut behind him, Uhura turned her attention back to the two of them. “Are you two going to be all right?” she asked, her gaze flicking from Anne to Kirk and back. “Or are you going to start yelling the moment I leave?”

Some of the tension dissipated then. “Oh god, I hope not,” Anne said fervently, followed by Kirk’s brief, soundless, almost humorless laugh.

“No. We’ll be all right, Nyota.” He had thawed a little, and he took his feet off the table, sitting up. “Thanks.”

Uhura nodded, then risked a little smile. “Hate to see you back with the farm animals.”

There was obviously some sort of joke there that Anne was missing, because that surprised an actual laugh from him. “All right. We’ll be fine.”

Uhura stood, and Anne nodded her farewell before the woman left. As soon as the door shut behind her, she glanced warily at Kirk.

Shaking his head, he grabbed her teacup from her hand and dunked another biscuit in it. “Bones was right. I should have kept my distance.” Strangely, he didn’t seem the least bit resentful or upset about it.

“Do you regret not following his advice?” Anne asked. She couldn’t tell what expression she was wearing but she heard the calm detachment in her voice.

Kirk heard it too; his eyes flicked up to her face, surprised, and he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him. “I probably should, but no.”

Anne felt herself heave a sigh of relief, relaxing into him. As long as he wasn’t angry with her, she could forget all of this. “Good.”

#James T. Kirk/OC #Jim Kirk/OC #Star Trek #Star Trek Fanfiction #dark romance #fanfic #ST:WW #Star Trek: Walking Wounded

[youre-on-a-starship]

Part 2

Summary:  Two weeks after waking up with no recollection of the people and ship around you, you take your future in your hands and try to piece together your past and the events that lead up to you losing your memory of the last five years. This means finally meeting Scotty, the man you just learned is your husband.

Word Count:  1,036

Author’s Note:  I was absolutely floored by the response yesterday to part 1! I wrote parts 1 and 2 at work, so here’s part 2 for you! They might come more slowly from here on out, but I’m really excited about this series, so I hope you like it! Again, if you want to be tagged in this series specifically (I don’t do general tags because I’m a lazy shit), please let me know!

Table of Contents Here

Waiting in silence until the door opened, you willed your pounding heart to shut up. The first time you ever saw this man was this evening at dinner when he sat down at the far end of the table near Uhura. You barely even remembered what his face looked like.

The door swished open. And Scotty stood there, pink-faced and damp from crying.

“Christ, she told ya didn’ she,” Scotty covered his eyes.

“I sort of made her,” you said softly. “Can I come in?”

Scotty made a noise halfway between a sigh and a whine and flung his arm to his side, letting you in.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, realizing what you just asked the man. “I suppose I live here, don’t I?”

“Aye,” he breathed.

You stepped past him into the room, your heart still pounding a deafening tattoo against your ribs hoping that something here would trigger a memory.

The room seemed to be barely lived in. Every surface was utterly spotless, the furniture was all tucked in, a stack of PADDs neatly arranged on the kitchenette counter. The duvet was crumpled in the middle of the bed and an errant pile of uniform shirts cluttered the floor at the foot of the night stand, the only signs that the room was even occupied. There was an enormous impressionist piece above the bed; a yellow moon in a deep blue sky.

“Van Gogh,” you said, pointing. “It’s one of my favourites.”

“Aye,” Scotty whispered, awkwardly clasping his hands behind his back.

“I’m sorry -”

“Ya don’ need ta apologize, please,” Scotty insisted, bringing his hands to his front and gesturing palms down for you to stop.

“But I don’t remember,” you groaned, lifting a hand to hold your opposite elbow. “I was so important to you… am so important to you…”

“God, lass, please,” Scotty dug his fingers into his eyes. You bit your tongue, knowing you were saying the wrong things. “I dinna want ya ta feel obligated ta come back; you’re goin’ through enough as it is…”

As Scotty rambled on, his accent getting thicker with emotion as he went, you got lost in the music of his brogue. It wasn’t familiar, but it was beautiful. A tiny, guilty pang of affection sparked in your chest.

“... saddled with an old sod li’ me -”

“Hang on,” you held up a hand, trying to keep your conversation with Uhura in mind. She’d been right after all, even if she didn’t say it in so many words. You married this flustered man for a reason, and it had to be enough to trump his age. And by the set of his back, you guessed that wasn’t quite as old as the lines around his eyes made him look. “If that didn’t matter before, it doesn’t matter now.”

Scotty’s whole body went limp for a moment. He stared at you slack-jawed for a moment before his face contorted.

“‘M sorry,” he muttered, turning away from you and covering his face with his hands.

The seconds ticked by with the shaking of his shoulders. You considered leaving, maybe this was too much too fast. The knotting in your stomach certainly indicated it was. But you couldn’t leave him, not like this.

“Hey,” you muttered lamely, stepping forward.

Putting a hand on his shoulder was out of the question. You wound around him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in tight. He was warm and he smelt like steel and black tea. You tucked your nose into the side of his head and rubbed slow circles on his back.

As strongly as the voice in the back of your head shouted that this was a bad idea, you had to tamp that instinct down. Whether you knew him or not, this man needed you right now and you couldn’t let him down.

“Hey,” you repeated. “Part of me is still here,” you swallowed. “It might not be the part that counts, but it’s something.”

“Don’ say tha’.”

“Don’t say what?”

“The part tha’ counts,” Scotty pulled back and pawed at his face. “You jus’... God, you jus’ proved tha’s no’ gone anywhere.”

You blinked at the man in your arms and pressed your lips together between your teeth.

“But I don’t -”

“No,” he shook his head and wiped his eyes before finally meeting yours earnestly. “You’re still… you’re still you. Through and through,” he hiccoughed and sucked in a sharp breath, reaching up to touch your arm with soft fingers before retracting his hand.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you forced a smile, even though the gesture sent a warning flash through your body.

You chewed your lip and looked around the room, your eye landing on the couch. After nearly two weeks spending every day with McCoy and Chapel trying to sort out the blockage in your memory, you were starting to get impatient.  And then here’s this man, torn to pieces for the loss of his wife. For the loss of you, apparently. McCoy didn’t directly say not to talk to anyone about your past, so you might as well start here.

“How about this?” you started. “I think I should go. Let you gather yourself. Tomorrow, I’ll be with McCoy from 0900 to about 1500. When’s your shift up?”

“1700.”

“I’ll come by here then. I think I can safely say we’re after the same thing,” you flashed a grin which, much to your happiness, Scotty half-reciprocated. “Let’s talk tomorrow. About everything. I want to know you and I want to know what I’m coming from. Maybe we can strike on something together. How’s that sound?” You stuffed down the nervousness before continuing. “It might take some time,” you ventured, the voice screaming at you to stop talking. “But if we did it once, maybe we can do it again.”

“Only if you want,” he said as firmly as he could. The uneasy feeling faltered, knowing that you weren’t the only nervous one. “You say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Let’s talk tomorrow.”

You finally released him and touched your fingertips to his arm reassuringly one last time before leaving the room, sparing one last look at the Starry Night above the bed.

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